Thank you Susan. This really helped me realise that after 14 years of good memories, he showed me who he really is: he cheated on me, mentally abused me, lied and gas lighted me. I am now thankful for the all the good things and glad that I’m now out of this relationship and feel sorry for the next guy. Good luck to my ex trying to fill the void of my absence and trying to find greener pastures.
this is so scary.. did you find no signs prior to this? any red flags? it scares me that one can love someone for these many years then do something like this.. i am getting so scared of relationships.. i hope you’re okay 🫂
Thank you, Susan! When you said "honeymoon phase breakup can be far more painful, cause we're not seeing the full picture" - WOW I never thought that way! I had a quite challenging breakup recently. We only dated for six months and I didn't understand why i'm struggling so much to move on. The video is helping me to see him in different light.
I felt so good when Susan said They wouldn't be good partner material......soooo, maybe we dodged a bullet. I feel alot better, how about you? Susan says; It's not us but them.
When we have to beg for their love, that's not good. It needs to flow evenly both ways. We are better off in the end that it didn't work out. Can't say the wrong thing to the right person....their effing loss, let the bad cookie fall off the conveyor belt
I was also always trying to see the positive and the best in people and try to "take what is the best from them - to learn - like confidence/cultural differences that I liked and other traits". I was also heartbroken when they were leaving me - because it was this great person and another person will get these great lessons/time with them, maybe even more than me - because they might have much time together. Right now, with this video something clicked in me - I cannot just look through pink glasses - I need to see the whole person with all traits as them. When they were leaving me or treating unfairly I cannot explain them all the time as good outweighted the bad. It´s both and they had chosen not to be with me through the bad anyway. Also some players are perfect for charming and beginning of relationship, so you think you lost the best and someone else is getting this perfect person - which is only perfect until he profits out of it.
Thank you for this Susan 🙏🏻 your the aunty I wish I had to talk to 🤣❤️ been helping me out for years. This happened to me; I keep repeating “keep the dream, change the person”.
Susan, I watched this video of yours last month, straight after being broken up with. A similar situation happened to me and I've just come back to revisit it and can say that after a month, I feel much better. I dodged a bullet and the breakup has catalysed so much positive change in my life. I'm focusing on being a good partner to myself and heal and be happy on my own. I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love your videos, the've been a great source of comfort for me.
OMG, thanks so much for the way you presented this. This is how it went down and I was caught off guard. To know she would never have been "partner" material cause of her nature gave me some good peace of mind
Susan is out here writing my story. Every single piece is true. It's so hard to deal with the 'dream' of who they are after they completely blindside you. When every moment and interaction is positive and then BAM!!!! - it really puts you on your back foot and makes it really hard to get a grasp on what heppened. This video is so helpful for those of us who have had to experience the traumatic loss of a partner out of the blue. (I've often said this is akin to losing them in an accident. It's THAT sudden and THAT traumatic to go from everything is fine to IT'S OVER). Bless you Susan!!!
I've recently gone through a blindsided break-up after 4.5 years. Omg, i'm learning soooooo much. I've lost a lot of weight and i'm struggling with my appetite, hopefully that will return soon. My case is so crazy i couldn't put it all in this post because i wouldn't even know where to start!!
@ Susanwinter My Lovely Susan I can’t stop thanking you for the wisdom and powerful words you share with this beautiful community. You are my healing star in this universe.. kindly if you have time I would like you to talk about why short term relationships hurts more Love love HIlea ❤❤
Susan is the most real person I've found on TH-cam. She speaks the most sense. They walked out on us. If they want back then, they should be the ones that grovel. If not then, we move on!
Happened to me. We were living together. I go home and find all his stuff gone and a few days later, I was blocked on everything. No answer whatsoever. I was ghosted and blocked and lied to. What a red flag. Omg. But this video totally resonated with me. Thank you
Hi Susan, I watch most of your videos you put out but rarely comment. I just wanted to say I love your channel and you give great advice!! Please keep up the good work. What you do makes the world a better place.
Nicole- thank you!! Sorry I missed your lovely comment earlier. I had absolutely no Wi-Fi during most of my cruising through South Asia. I really appreciate your taking time to write me now.
This is what happened to me. USED me for HIS needs under the disguise of marriage?? Luckily, it did not get violent only because I realized I had been set up by him and his career needs 😢 and LEFT IMMEDIATELY as FAST as possible and as far away as possible to PREVENT a possible fatal blowup. I thank God everyday I WALKED-RUN away VERY, VERY QUICKLY!!! 😮😢
@@SusanWinter I will, for sure! 👍 Right now, my father is at death's door so it's a matter of timing. I hope you don't mind my asking, are you married or ever have been married? I'm pretty sure no husband could ever get ANYthing past you! 😉👏 🌹
I just got out of a relationship, everything was going good until one day she became more aware of her beliefs and wanted to stop having intercourse (after 3months of doing so) until she was married and my reaction wasn’t a good one i felt like she didnt know her self and it affected me so i broke up with her idk if that was the right thing to do because i loved her but i couldn’t have her in the way i wanted anymore unless i convert to her beliefs and it hurts so even tho we broke up we stayed with each other in hope of trying to make something work because we loved each other i even said forget waiting i will marry u but it didn’t matter anymore she wanted me to believe her beliefs. We ended up having to separate because she moved (but we still saw each other) and during that time her life goes up hill she even got a job at the mall and started gaining attention, more than she ever experienced from guys in all walks of life so her birthday comes we hang out and tell each other we still love each other then a week later she blocks me and say she trying to move on with another guy honestly idk how to feel about this i thought we had real love but it seems like hers was very conditional and mines was a lot less, i dont understand y her life and feelings changed so fast i didnt even get an explanation i just gotta get pass this and let her go some how
That is not love. Let her go and heal and live your life. Religion has influence in the way you think and how we live. That girl is searchin for herself, and God. Let her..
Sounds like she's unstable. This behavior is immature and even sounds like a personality disorder. Move on. It's easier said that done. This happened to me recently and the best I could do was stay away
Thank you Susan, this is exactly I needed to hear, you described me and my situation. And now I think I can get out of the "obsession jail" So much love ❤❤❤❤
4:30 I had to heal from this. It broke my heart more than a death in the family. Running towards each other one day excited to see each other. The next day saying we got engaged too soon and should break up.
What if the partner goes through grief of loss of their father and they have not learned how to navigate that yet? Is that a valid reason to shut down and leave in a moment? (Without clarifying that we are done and without clearly informing)
Kiki, if you are involved in a relationship with someone who shuts down and leaves and doesn't take the time to speak to you, explain, and tell you whether it's fully over or not… That action, or I should say, lack of action speaks volumes about them as a person. We all have trauma. We all have parents who die. It's horrible. It's difficult. But if you are seeing somebody in in a relationship and they call themselves "partner" then they are a part of your life and should include you in their grieving process.
@inter thank you for your response, it helps me a lot. Unfortunately, we had not called each other officially "partners" but the feeling was that of a partnership. We were still getting to know one another. That person told me it's ok to be vulnerable and led me to believe that I can trust them. So, I now blame myself for trusting too soon, only after a few months..But I am also thinking that their behaviour was hurtful even though we were not "partners"..I tried to justify it because of the loss I explained in the previous message. However, my gut from the first moment told me that something was wrong. Thank you again, your videos are great.
Maybe he did me a favor He’s an alcoholic and things were getting worse 😢💔 Still hurts because we’ve come a long way in a year and a half but of course he hasn’t changed
Hi, i got blinded sided break up too by my ex girlfriend. After all the good moments had upto being toxic with each other for months and she did that. Why? She could've broke up with me in a civil manner.
10 year relationship new years eve he ghosted me wouldn't answer his phone northing a month went by still northing I needed closure so I emailed him and blocked him everywhere I could I needed this for my closure hopefully its enough but I still think about him every day so I am guessing I still don't have closure not sure how to completely move on Thanks Susan Great channel
Here's your closure. He doesn't want you! But who CARES! One Man doesn't see how Fabul you are! You can't move forward if you keep looking back. Ps. He's a JERK!
Thank you Susan. This really helped me realise that after 14 years of good memories, he showed me who he really is: he cheated on me, mentally abused me, lied and gas lighted me. I am now thankful for the all the good things and glad that I’m now out of this relationship and feel sorry for the next guy. Good luck to my ex trying to fill the void of my absence and trying to find greener pastures.
Sometimes the universe destroys your plan, so that your plan doesn’t destroy you.
correct
Happened to me after a 20 year relationship. They found someone else. Really? I was 65 years old.
I'm so sorry!! It happened to me after just two years,bit even this is so hard. I feel like my mind is broken.
this is so scary.. did you find no signs prior to this? any red flags?
it scares me that one can love someone for these many years then do something like this.. i am getting so scared of relationships..
i hope you’re okay 🫂
This is SO true. I feel like no closure is all of the closure you need.
Thank you, Susan! When you said "honeymoon phase breakup can be far more painful, cause we're not seeing the full picture" - WOW I never thought that way! I had a quite challenging breakup recently. We only dated for six months and I didn't understand why i'm struggling so much to move on. The video is helping me to see him in different light.
I felt so good when Susan said They wouldn't be good partner material......soooo, maybe we dodged a bullet. I feel alot better, how about you? Susan says; It's not us but them.
When we have to beg for their love, that's not good. It needs to flow evenly both ways. We are better off in the end that it didn't work out. Can't say the wrong thing to the right person....their effing loss, let the bad cookie fall off the conveyor belt
correct!!!@@jeffphillips7921
Hi lovely Susan….he did her a HUGE favor !! Imagine if they got married and he did this……she dodged a big bullet !👍🙏
i agree
If not a priority--LEAVE!!! Find someone who is NOT so busy???
We miss you Susan! Hope you are having a fabulous time in Asia!
I'm baaaaack!!
I was also always trying to see the positive and the best in people and try to "take what is the best from them - to learn - like confidence/cultural differences that I liked and other traits". I was also heartbroken when they were leaving me - because it was this great person and another person will get these great lessons/time with them, maybe even more than me - because they might have much time together. Right now, with this video something clicked in me - I cannot just look through pink glasses - I need to see the whole person with all traits as them. When they were leaving me or treating unfairly I cannot explain them all the time as good outweighted the bad. It´s both and they had chosen not to be with me through the bad anyway.
Also some players are perfect for charming and beginning of relationship, so you think you lost the best and someone else is getting this perfect person - which is only perfect until he profits out of it.
Thank you for this Susan 🙏🏻 your the aunty I wish I had to talk to 🤣❤️ been helping me out for years. This happened to me; I keep repeating “keep the dream, change the person”.
Susan, I watched this video of yours last month, straight after being broken up with. A similar situation happened to me and I've just come back to revisit it and can say that after a month, I feel much better. I dodged a bullet and the breakup has catalysed so much positive change in my life. I'm focusing on being a good partner to myself and heal and be happy on my own. I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love your videos, the've been a great source of comfort for me.
OMG, thanks so much for the way you presented this. This is how it went down and I was caught off guard. To know she would never have been "partner" material cause of her nature gave me some good peace of mind
I'm happy to read this Jeff.
Susan is out here writing my story. Every single piece is true. It's so hard to deal with the 'dream' of who they are after they completely blindside you. When every moment and interaction is positive and then BAM!!!! - it really puts you on your back foot and makes it really hard to get a grasp on what heppened. This video is so helpful for those of us who have had to experience the traumatic loss of a partner out of the blue. (I've often said this is akin to losing them in an accident. It's THAT sudden and THAT traumatic to go from everything is fine to IT'S OVER). Bless you Susan!!!
I've recently gone through a blindsided break-up after 4.5 years. Omg, i'm learning soooooo much. I've lost a lot of weight and i'm struggling with my appetite, hopefully that will return soon. My case is so crazy i couldn't put it all in this post because i wouldn't even know where to start!!
@ Susanwinter My Lovely Susan I can’t stop thanking you for the wisdom and powerful words you share with this beautiful community. You are my healing star in this universe.. kindly if you have time I would like you to talk about why short term relationships hurts more
Love love HIlea ❤❤
Susan is the most real person I've found on TH-cam. She speaks the most sense. They walked out on us. If they want back then, they should be the ones that grovel. If not then, we move on!
Happened to me. We were living together. I go home and find all his stuff gone and a few days later, I was blocked on everything. No answer whatsoever. I was ghosted and blocked and lied to. What a red flag. Omg.
But this video totally resonated with me. Thank you
Yep just last week met my family laughed with my kids. Bam! Broke up no indication just done.
Hi Susan, I watch most of your videos you put out but rarely comment. I just wanted to say I love your channel and you give great advice!! Please keep up the good work. What you do makes the world a better place.
Nicole- thank you!! Sorry I missed your lovely comment earlier. I had absolutely no Wi-Fi during most of my cruising through South Asia. I really appreciate your taking time to write me now.
This is what happened to me. USED me for HIS needs under the disguise of marriage?? Luckily, it did not get violent only because I realized I had been set up by him and his career needs 😢 and LEFT IMMEDIATELY as FAST as possible and as far away as possible to PREVENT a possible fatal blowup. I thank God everyday I WALKED-RUN away VERY, VERY QUICKLY!!! 😮😢
Correct, Debra. Run, don't walk
I experienced the same situation and yes, everything she says is completely true. You have to learn how to move on.
SUSAN WINTER,
Your book *Allowing Magnificence* came recently. 🥳
I'm looking forward to reading it and may your gift for words lead to more books. 🎉
Ria! Thank you. Please let me know how well you like it
@@SusanWinter I will, for sure! 👍
Right now, my father is at death's door so it's a matter of timing.
I hope you don't mind my asking, are you married or ever have been married?
I'm pretty sure no husband could ever get ANYthing past you! 😉👏 🌹
This was such an incredible take, the best one I’ve seen yet.
I just got out of a relationship, everything was going good until one day she became more aware of her beliefs and wanted to stop having intercourse (after 3months of doing so) until she was married and my reaction wasn’t a good one i felt like she didnt know her self and it affected me so i broke up with her idk if that was the right thing to do because i loved her but i couldn’t have her in the way i wanted anymore unless i convert to her beliefs and it hurts so even tho we broke up we stayed with each other in hope of trying to make something work because we loved each other i even said forget waiting i will marry u but it didn’t matter anymore she wanted me to believe her beliefs. We ended up having to separate because she moved (but we still saw each other) and during that time her life goes up hill she even got a job at the mall and started gaining attention, more than she ever experienced from guys in all walks of life so her birthday comes we hang out and tell each other we still love each other then a week later she blocks me and say she trying to move on with another guy honestly idk how to feel about this i thought we had real love but it seems like hers was very conditional and mines was a lot less, i dont understand y her life and feelings changed so fast i didnt even get an explanation i just gotta get pass this and let her go some how
That is not love. Let her go and heal and live your life. Religion has influence in the way you think and how we live. That girl is searchin for herself, and God. Let her..
Sounds like she's unstable. This behavior is immature and even sounds like a personality disorder. Move on. It's easier said that done. This happened to me recently and the best I could do was stay away
Thank you Susan, this is exactly I needed to hear, you described me and my situation.
And now I think I can get out of the "obsession jail"
So much love ❤❤❤❤
Good morning from Chicago ☺️
Good morning! It’s 2pm here in Singapore. It’s morning indeed!
Thank you, Susan. 07:06 07:33 09:01 10:28
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Best video ever!!!❤ty Susan.
You are helping me so much. Thank you!!!!!
Good stuff
Thanks, Scott
Wise words
4:30 I had to heal from this. It broke my heart more than a death in the family. Running towards each other one day excited to see each other. The next day saying we got engaged too soon and should break up.
Goodnight from. Melbourne
What if the partner goes through grief of loss of their father and they have not learned how to navigate that yet? Is that a valid reason to shut down and leave in a moment? (Without clarifying that we are done and without clearly informing)
Kiki, if you are involved in a relationship with someone who shuts down and leaves and doesn't take the time to speak to you, explain, and tell you whether it's fully over or not… That action, or I should say, lack of action speaks volumes about them as a person. We all have trauma. We all have parents who die. It's horrible. It's difficult. But if you are seeing somebody in in a relationship and they call themselves "partner" then they are a part of your life and should include you in their grieving process.
@inter thank you for your response, it helps me a lot. Unfortunately, we had not called each other officially "partners" but the feeling was that of a partnership. We were still getting to know one another. That person told me it's ok to be vulnerable and led me to believe that I can trust them. So, I now blame myself for trusting too soon, only after a few months..But I am also thinking that their behaviour was hurtful even though we were not "partners"..I tried to justify it because of the loss I explained in the previous message. However, my gut from the first moment told me that something was wrong. Thank you again, your videos are great.
Maybe he did me a favor
He’s an alcoholic and things were getting worse
😢💔
Still hurts because we’ve come a long way in a year and a half but of course he hasn’t changed
My ex don't gave me closer she actually does everything to avoid me
Dissmissive avoidant pattern of behavior
Hi, i got blinded sided break up too by my ex girlfriend. After all the good moments had upto being toxic with each other for months and she did that. Why? She could've broke up with me in a civil manner.
10 year relationship new years eve he ghosted me wouldn't answer his phone northing a month went by still northing I needed closure so I emailed him and blocked him everywhere I could I needed this for my closure hopefully its enough but I still think about him every day so I am guessing I still don't have closure not sure how to completely move on Thanks Susan Great channel
Here's your closure. He doesn't want you! But who CARES! One Man doesn't see how Fabul you are! You can't move forward if you keep looking back. Ps. He's a JERK!
It happened for me after an argument I made heated
❤❤
❤😊
It's totally a dissmissive avoidant move, the most selfish people on the planet....