What to do About Your Disrespectful and Manipulative Adult Children - How to Cope
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
- Learn how and why this issue occurs and methods you can use to fix it while keeping yourself strong, balanced, and healthy through it all. bit.ly/3hCJhQc
Many times, we, as mothers have to make difficult decisions when we are faced with the question 'how to cope with disrespectful and manipulative adult children'. This should never include having to harden our hearts towards our children. Unfortunately, this is what we have to do. It is becoming a rampant problem for women over 40, having to cope with these disrespectful and manipulative adult children -- putting us in a position to be forceful on setting boundaries. That was never put in the parent book. Be that as it may, this is the situation, and we now have to find ways to deal with disruptive, disrespectful and parasitic adult children -- giving them what we call 'tough love'.
I walked away from children aprox 5 years ago. I am 43 and I just told my son and my daughter a few days ago to not worry about claiming me as their mother and will no longer speak their name or even claim that I have kids. I am completely mentally, emotionally checked out and disconnected from them. I know I tried to be a mother and I was treated like trash! So now I can care less about being a mother. I gave up and walked away. When I did that, a burden was lifted completely off of my shoulders. Best decision I ever made! I wish nothing but the best for them.
Oh my; I’m very sorry to hear of this! I’m sure you had to hit complete rock-bottom to make this move; I’m truly sorry you were put in this position! What I will tell you is that ‘as time passes by, they will come to certain realization and, hopefully, work to fix this’. Everyone needs their mom at some point. They will see that soon enough. You are still very young, Dashonda; time also heals all wounds! Thanks for sharing and please stay connected with us. Have yourself a fabulous weekend!
Only you know what you went through, no one has the right to judge or criticise you. I’m glad that you have found peace.
That's what you have to do. You will never win because they won't take accountability. Next
I’m doing the same ! I’m 42 and i had it
Life’s hard when we’ve busted our bits to give them everything then they become adults and talk to us like we aren’t anything , I’m to this point with some but mainly one of my adult children. I have four adult children and technically only one treats my husband and I this way.
My husbands and my health is failing quickly due to multiple years of difficult situations with our children. It really takes its toll.
Sending prayers for your health. My sister developed an illness while her daughter and grandkids lived with her.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
@@S2023. Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
@@S2023. Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
I needed to hear this.
I thought I was alone, the exception. How awful to learn this is common.
Hello Yvette! Happy holidays and yes, this is a very common problem; sad but true! I hope this note finds you well. Not sure to what extent your experience is but just embrace whatever it is while taking care of you. Stay connected and be well!
Oh no, you are not alone. I had to walk away from my two adult sons. After years of being treated as an afterthought and disrespected and not cared for I decided that I had enough I'm begging for the crumbs of their attention. I am free
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
Very rare children just turn on you ok. Check yourself
33 & 34 are ADULTS! S
“Because they are not going to be any more grateful than they are now “. What a great realization that enables a parent to pivot. Thank you!
Hello there! I apologize for the delayed response! For some reason, these comments did not come in; they are now showing in the feed! Smiling…thanks for reaching out! Have yourself a great holiday season and stay connected with us. Be well, my friend!
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
I thought I was alone in this. This boy has broken my spirit.
Hi! No, you are not alone. We just did a 28-minute piece, addressing more of this topic, take a look and find yourself some comfort. Thanks for reaching out, subscribe to the channel and have yourself a great day.!
my 44 yr old , unmotivated...chain smoking, coffee drinking.. no desire to work on his own life.. who, i have given, supported... for way to long.. i NO LONGER, SADLY, can stand him!! He won't take anything out on his abusive, neglectufl daddy..and step mom...but, for some reason is quite ok to take his stuff out on me... all he does i ssit around and smoke and drink coffee/beer...i am mentally worn out... done. He has a basement suite that he pays his rent and i hve the top floor.. but. .way to close.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
I am 69 yrs old. This video is important and true. Stop making excuses for their behavior. Be willing to let go. Or they will be 40 and even worse. Work on feeling worthy of love and respect.
Hello there, Riley! I am sorry for the delayed response; somehow, this comment fell through the cracks!! You have the general idea; we must pay attention to ourselves at this point and learn to let go. We have to just communicate our feelings and our adult children find their way without running ourselves into the ground. Stay connected and be well!!
Amen
Agree..they will turn 40 and become worse. Spouses included.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
My two adult sons have deserted me. I never thought they would be so mean to me! I wasn't perfect , but I surely took care of them with much love.
I found your channel and I'm getting better.
Thanks
Good Morning, Catherine! Thanks so much for sharing! I am happy to hear that our message is helping! Please work to gear your focus on what you need to be happy and stay healthy. I understand your pain; I was there! Try to keep the faith, knowing that things will eventually turn itself around and focus on you. Visit us at midliferises.com for more on this topic. Stay connected with us and be well, my friend!
@@Midliferises❤
@@Midliferisesreinforcing one side of a toxic family system without knowing the other side is unprofessional and dangerous
@@walterrudich2175 Walter, I wasn’t hatched, I was an adult child to parents, and I have adult children. I can assure you I am well aware. And as far as being professional, I will tell you this ‘there is no justification for disrespecting your parents; there is a way to voice your opinion without going to the extreme as we are discussing here.’ Do not leave these kinds of comments on this channel again. You have yourself a great day!
@@MidliferisesYour answer to my comment only enforces my suspicion. You are behaving controlling (trying to silence me. LOL) and demand respect from children towards their parents in any case which is ridiculous. You have proven to be one-sided and in my view unprofessional.
I put my only child out today! The disrespect started long ago. I’m done! God will save him or judge him. Either way I’m done.
Hello Vickie! Thanks for reaching out! I’m sorry to hear that it had to get to this; it’s never easy having to turn your back on your child. And it doesn’t matter if you have one or five. I can tell you that the space will help the both of you. Hopefully, things will work out sooner than later so that you can begin to have a more respectful and healthy relationship. Happy holidays to you and please stay in touch.
If I can't control you the police will!
@@Mistackdontplay That's a Domestic Terrorist Organization and a Criminal Enterprise.
(Full of Murders, Child Molesters, and Sex Offenders) *You need help, I'd call someone or see a priest...
You're a very sick individual if you call a Violent Mercenary Group to Attack your Child, You might be an unfit parent, do we need to have you checked out?
You didn’t put the child out, you say I released the child to the hands of the Almighty God. Now The Almighty God can handle the child and satan does not have a chance.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
God please give each of wisdom and protection. While we know this battle is not our but yours. (and) God we ask for you to cover all adult children while they move forward on their journey. Amen
Almeta Trammel Hello Almeta! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
Move forward is the keyword in Jesus name amen
Amen
Amen
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
My adult child likes to play nice, reel me in, behave in loving respectful ways, then WHAM!!! The hours long verbal insults, accusations, defamation, scorn, condemnation, and contempt fly like swords and arrows through the air, impaling my entire being! I have so many physical problems now, and I know it's from the 15+ years of this torturous behavior of his. What a nightmare.
Hi! Fifteen years? Oh no; you will be putting a stop to this whole thing this year! You cannot continue on this path, my friend! it sounds like you know what will happen if you do. You have to start paying attention to you and what your needs are. This situation is not healthy! Cut it loose and let nature take its course. Things will fix itself in due time. In the meantime, focus on you. Stay connected with us and be well, my friend!
Sounds hes borderline
17 years here with adult daughter. Vile abuse. She's almost 36.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
I have washed my hands of my 3 adult children, it’s one of the hardest things I had to do.
It got to the point that no matter how hard I bent over backwards for them I got criticised, called a bad mother, made fun of ie told I’m too old (56) to understand anything, disrespected and then got given the cold shoulder.
The truth is I feel free like a heavy weight has been lifted I no longer have the stress from them and now I can just please me 😊
Hello Lee! Thanks for reaching out! You have the right attitude! Keep up the good works and continue to focus on you. Stay connected and have a great day!
@@Midliferises Thank you for your positive words- I will not look back only forward!! Xx
@@lisakeeney4944 smiling…That’s how you do it! Stay connected and be well, my friend!
Good for you.
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
The old adage "no good deed goes unpunished" is absolutely the truth. I just turned 74 and my son who is 50 drops bombs on me now that have no reality; I took care of life and all it's responsibilities. He lives 500 miles away and we have always pretty much seen eye to eye but over night his attitude has gone bitter. All I can think is he is got on chemicals that have distorted his outlook, memory and any sense of respect and appreciation. It makes on feel like a fool for doing everything possible to be there for him and he waits for my "mature age" to tell me about his disappointments. I guess he's on his own. I will not be bitter BUT I will not be walked on by any one including him.
Hello there, and welcome! We start to question whether or not we should have been working to be a good parent to these children. But, I am here to tell you to not go there. You were doing your part as his guardian, that was your duty. Now, the ball is in his court to show how appreciative he is going to be. He will stop one sweet day to talk to himself about that- they all eventually do. You just do what you can to look ahead and work to stay healthy and happy.
Big Mike Johnson Hello There! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
Count your blessings he live 500 miles from you.
@@johnre5342
Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life, turn from your evil deeds before it’s too late, Jesus truly loves you, but you must have faith.
Thank you for this invaluable message. I am having the same issue with my children. They are 21 and 20. I have decided to exercise tough love and worry about me. I sacrificed too much for them and don't deserve this treatment. It is painful but cant let that stop me from living my life.
Hello Elaine and thanks for reaching out! This is, indeed, a very serious problem for us women! Our motherly instincts allow us to get totally sucked in until one day we realize what's happening. More power to ones that are able to slam the brakes on the abuse and start pulling back. Notice I said 'pulling back' and not 'fighting back' (smiling). These are children that we gave birth to so the problem has to be handled strategically. The point is 'we have to focus on ourselves and our health now'. Congrats on being able to identify there is a problem and that you should come first. Subscribe to our channel by clicking on the bell icon and visit our website (midliferises.com/) for additional support on midlife issues. Provide us with an email address so that you can be included in our newsletter. All the best, Elaine!
@@Midliferises Thank you. 🙏🙏🙏
Elaine g can you share wat steps u have taken n has it wrked coz im going thru d same situation wid my 20 yr old in india.
Dola Dutta Hello Dola! I hope you are doing well! I would like to apologize for not responding sooner. For some reason, your comment did not show up in my feed. We are presently working on an ebook that covers this topic. I will send you a notification when it is completed. In the meantime, please stay connected and safe.
@@doladutta7699 Hello Dola. I also did not receive notification for your message. My daughter and I are on better terms now. But to answer your question, even though we all live in the same household, I was not talking to my children unless deemed necessary. Prayed a lot. I stopped blaming myself and feeling guilty for their behaviors. Enough is enough. Good parents do the best we can to take care of our family. The relationship between my son and I is not what it should be because that is how he wants it. He will be moving out soon. I pray that it gets better between us. If not, i have to move on.
My daughter is estranged and I don’t get to see my granddaughter. It’s been seven years, the average estrangement is five years. I can only say that I am no longer living in shame.
You must be wicked for her to do thst to you.
They pull at our heartstrings,!especially when it comes to grandchildren!! Our parents never did as much for us as we do for them. It has been such a hard year.
Hang in there, my friend! Just continue to do what you can do for the grandchildren but keep the focus on you and your needs. It’s tough because they like pushing us to the limit. Don’t give in too much and keep doing you.
Kristal Pilgrim Hello Kristal! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
I hear you..yes grandies get used against us..not right..what is wrong with these kids..maybe we did'nt whop their backsides enough!!
Amen to that!
Thank you...this is my situation right now and I have reached the point where I have fought to make my 23 year old daughter do right and live right..I am now in bad health and have panic attacks daily. I put her out Saturday, we have tried and tried many times over the years to help her...we have so much love, time and money invested in her. I am worried about her returning to living on the street, addicted but I have to set her free again. Please pray for her, God is in control and he is the only one who can save her. Today my heart is broken and I can't focus but there is peace in my home and I can breathe. Your message is real, somehow I found you and your words are healing to my soul today.
Lila, good morning and welcome! This is an issue I, myself, am dealing with. Yes, it hurts because these are our children but the fact remains that we also have to take care of ourselves. We have done our jobs of raising these children and a good percentage of them just refuse to be in line with what we taught them - forcing us to turn to ‘tough love’. Don’t feel guilty; just work to get yourself back on tract. Good luck and stay in touch!
Lila, good morning and welcome! This is an issue I, myself, am dealing with. Yes, it hurts because these are our children but the fact remains that we also have to take care of ourselves. We have done our jobs of raising these children and a good percentage of them just refuse to be in line with what we taught them - forcing us to turn to ‘tough love’. Don’t feel guilty; just work to get yourself back on tract. Good luck and stay in touch!
Thank you for the wise words, much appreciated. If love alone could save our loved ones going down the wrong path, life would be such a beautiful thing. It hits home very hard this time of year because its the holiday season. I so admire people who have large families that are very close as I have never experienced that. I come from an abusive dysfunctional family that I am no longer in contact with. I've always dreamed for my little family, my husband, myself, my daughter and our son to be together laughing and loving during the holidays but my daughter has made it all unbearable from an early age. I just try to keep faith that one day it will 'click' for her and she'll understand how much we love and want her. In the meantime, you are right: I am going to work on myself ..I have really let myself go over the years and my health over all is a disaster. I'm going to do it though, I've spent the last 15 years fighting to save her and its now time to focus on ME...peace and love my new friend I'm so glad I have found someone who's situation is similar🙏🏽
You would be surprised to learn how many women (families) are dealing with this problem. You put in a great deal of time fighting for this. That is what we do as mothers. When the time comes to let it go, you will know. And it sounds like you are there. One thing I know is ‘you can’t save someone from themselves’. You have to take a step back and let nature take its course. It’s easier said than done when it’s your child, but you have to think about yourself at this point; you have to think about your health. You still have a life to live. Focus on that now and work your way back to good health. Once that is accomplished, you can try and take another look to see if there is any change. For now, pay attention to Lila. Good Luck, my friend!
I am just now reading this (6 montha later) and your heart & emotions nust jumped off the screen to me. I am so sorry!! Truly.
I hope your situation has improved for you, even if only a little. We must take our victories when they come, even for the smallest of things.
God bless you & I pray that your situation gets better every day!! 💜💙🧡
Since the cv 19 outbreak I’ve seen all the true colours of my son and I used to adore him!
I don’t anymore and it’s so sad, I love him of course but not the same way.
It’s so painful to see the truth and acknowledge the reality, as I always made excuses for him in the past.
He’s 31 now and I just see a self centred, manipulative, uncaring and selfish adult male, he has his nice ways but they get drowned out by the not so good. I’ve decided to step back now and have a long distance relationship as it’s the only way we’ll stay in contact. 😔
Hello Kensy; sorry for the delayed response! Somehow, it was hidden.
It’s sad but when we are shown these behaviors, we have no other choice but to make painful decisions. Do whatever is necessary to keep your health and your peace and don’t have any guilt behind the choice you’ve made. I commend you for looking at the problem head-on and accepting it for what it is. A lot of times, we, as parents, try to turn the other check on what’s happening, only to face more painful experiences down the road. Congrats on nipping it in the bud and please stay connected. Have a great day!
MidLife Rises thanks so much for your reply and of course you’re 💯! 🙏🏼✌🏻❤️🇬🇧
Kensy Skye Smiling...Have yourself a fabulous evening!
This is just what I needed! I see so many videos on narcissistic mothers but none on disrespectful teenagers! I’m in tuned👍🏾👍🏾
all tiktok videos blaming parents all the time its not always the parents some kids can be rude and disrespectful too
I am going through this with my grown son the disrespect has to stop but it’s even harder when you have a husband who is allowing this behavior. I’m the one who has total with the set rules and trying to enforce them alone.
I am here with you about my adult 29 year old son he disrespects me so bad and is very manipulative about everything and reverses everything on me like I am the crazy one .. Alcohol and drugs plays a factor in everything . I try to keep my distant from him it’s a very toxic relationship unless I am giving him to be nice to me
Yes I'm in the same ⛵
I completely get it
Well, the Lord blessed me with a son who is now a controlling disrespectful bully. The Lord can have his ass back AMEN
I tell him to end it now or get out!!! He has to put a stand and stop it or its gonna continue. You just have to decide its him or you. I chose me. It works i did it and he still here and all our grown kids are here too.
I have decided to walk away from my two adult sons recently (21 & 25 years old). I came to this immensely painful decision after an accumulation of many things finally coming to a head. I get blamed for things, disrespected, treated poorly, considered only as an afterthought, I've been called a liar, I've had them make things up about me. I divorced their father when they were young and their father remarried and my ex and his new wife loved to alienate me from my sons. It worked. My two sons treat their father & step mother as if they are gods.. while I feel like I constantly have to beg for the crumbs of their attention. I've decided I've had enough. I sacrificed everything in my life to have those boys, I moved all over the country for their father's career, destroying my own. I sacrificed for them, they were loved, they were tended to, they were taken care of, they were nurtured. And I am treated like a piece of garbage. Their father never seemed to do anything wrong...🙄 The issue, it seems, was me. The one that did EVERYTHING for them. Well, that is their decision as grown men and I have made my decision that I will no longer have anything to do with them. The Lord has seen all that I've done and sacrificed and given up for them. I consider myself free. 🕊
Oh my goodness; this is sad! I have to say ‘I totally understand what you are explaining here’. I will also tell you that you have the right attitude towards what is happening. Yes, it is all painful, but you have been given the strength and understanding to step aside and let He who sees all and knows all to handle it. And believe me, He will fix it! This is the right route to take in removing them from your circle. Just keep the faith and take care of you now. Everything will work itself out in due time. Be strong and thanks for sharing this experience with us. Stay connected and be well, my friend!
Hello there! I feel your pain! What I will tell you is to continue doing what you can to keep things under control. What is happening now will subside; your boys will eventually come to terms with what they need to to do. In the meantime, pay attention to you and what you need to stay healthy and balanced. Thanks so much for sharing! Please stay connected with us and be well, my friend!
Yes, this story was awful! You are on the right track, as mentioned before. Just pay attention to you now and let everything fall into place - because it always does. Thanks, again, for sharing and stay connected.
I am in a very similar situation except add in there a 35 year old daughter who is an Instigator. All 3 of my children saw my ex harm me physically mentally and emotionally. They're mad because I left him And told me they're not worried about me they're worried about him. He too remarried to a dysfunctional woman and they are praised.😮 I just don't get it. It breaks my heart but I have to go..❤
I’m in the same position exactly-gave up my jobs to travel for Ex’s career. Then he turned on me with girlfriend’s. Our daughter blames me even though he was never involved in her life much. I don’t understand this behavior. So I told her at 29 to get her own apartment, again. Does not help pay any bills and refuses to talk to me in my own home . I’m done.
My daughter is 21 and I wish I lived alone. Thank you for validating me.
Good morning, Sherri; welcome to our channel! You mentioned your daughter lives with you. Remember, at 18, she was labeled as an adult. Do not let her live in your home and be disrespectful to you; your job in raising her is done! Pay attention to you and your needs now and stay connected with us. Be well, my friend!
Uhhh this is me right now. Had to put my 21 yo out for being disrespectful. And now the 19/17 are just as worse if not more . I’m sick of it .. I just need a one bedroom apartment for now. I knew I wasn’t crazy for thinking how I think . Thanks
@@Midliferises She moved out in April. I've been living alone for 10 months now. WHOOP WHOOP! I have a whole new life.
@@FavoredQueen I'm here to give you some HOPE. My daughter moved out 10 months ago. She was my youngest. She is working full time at Tim Hortons and 2 days a week cleaning house for a nice lady. My life since April 1st is completely different. I turned 50 in October and I'm dating again. I feel like I'm a teenager who has their OWN PLACE. OMG, It was so rough the last few years.....not gonna lie. I KNOW where you are. Get them working and out on their own as fast as you can. You are almost there. You are NOT crazy. You are being driven crazy and so was I. We know that at 21 they are more than capable and if they aren't, they will get there and grow and learn. We did! Sending you so much love and support.
Hi! You do that on your own when you stand strong! Stay connected with us and be well!
No way I’m not the only one. I’m so sick and tired of the snobby attitudes and them walking around like they hate me. I’m over it!
Hi! Surprisingly, you are not the only one! I know this stuff is painful but bear in mind that a lot of times the attitude you are getting has nothing to do with you, per se; you are just receiving the backlash of whatever is going on with them inside. It’s important to stand your grounds and stay in control at all times. I know it’s not easy, but you have to focus on you and keeping things under control. Stay connected with us and be well, my friend!
@@Midliferises This is the most accurate advice I’ve ever received in awhile about this situation. I’ve been a single parent most of their life. It’s hard on all us. Thank you! ❤️
@@geminirising1 This is what makes it so painful! But just look at it as you did what you were supposed to do and whatever happens now, the job was done. It’s time for them to stand up to the plate and do what we showed them. If they choose not to, that’s on them; your part was done. Don’t allow them to pull you into it. Have a great evening!
So true. I had to take care of myself and let my daughter go.
My friend, I am sorry for the delayed response! Every so often these comments get hidden. You are on the right track! Please stay connected and be well!
Same here! It almost broke me!
It hurts because it’s our own seed! But when it gets to the point of abuse, we have to accept the harsh decisions that must be made to keep ourselves balanced and healthy.
@@iAmKishaP it’s good when you are on top of your game with stuff; especially one of this nature. Stay connected and be well!
@@charlenethompson9711 Hello there, Charlene! It is a very serious predicament, and we have to be careful! I’m happy that you found the answer to your struggles; we can never go wrong when He is our Rock! Check out our recent videos and stay connected with us. Stay safe and be well, my friend!
Thank you for your very welcome post.
Adult daughter of 43 suddenly discarded me through insult and disrespect and the shabbiest of insinuations. Insists I abused her and her 2 or old daughter and am the cause of almost all of her troubles and difficulties.Utterly delusional and heartbreaking. I no longer try to explain or defend or argue to no end and to no avail. The exasperation and exhaustion and level of vindictiveness were overwhelming.
Recovering peace and guarding it at all costs.
Hello John! Thanks for reaching out! Happy Nee Year to you! Yes, it is a new year, and you are on the right track in seeking out your peace at all cost! Your daughter is 43 years of age; this is a full-blown adult - one that should know better. At this point, you can’t teach her anything. She is going to have to be left alone to learn where she is going wrong. And trust me when I tell you, she will. There is no way she will get away with this height of disrespect! Thanks for sharing! Stay connected with us and be well, my friend!
@@Midliferises Your most welcome response is greatly appreciated.Thank you.
I will say this. Treat your offsprings well, they will want to be around you. Think back how you treated them, ppl tend to treat you how you treat them
I feel like God stuck this 5 year old video in my face today to a reason. Thank you so much. I really like the name of your channel too.
Smiling…Hello, there and welcome to our channel! Thanks for the compliment! I’m happy that you found your way to this message! This is a predicament for most of us parents, but just keep the faith in knowing things will get better. In the meantime, pay attention to you and what you need to make yourself happy and balanced. Thanks for reaching out and be well, my friend!
Yes, treat your offsprings good. They will want to be around you
Cut them out of your life, you do not have to put up with disrespect. If they disrespect you they
must go. You did the best you could and they have no right to treat you poorly. I am now done ... my daughter and I were close but she has called me nasty things and said many hurtful things and it is now over. I am living my life and enjoying it and she is mean and unkind regardless of how
I have struggled to fix our relationship. I am no longer here for her to stomp on anymore, I have freed myself from here abuse.
Great attitude; we really have to be careful with this stuff! It can take us out, if we are not careful. Always stop and ask yourself ‘is this worth it?’ The answer should always be ‘no’. Have a great day!!
Good for you! I’m about to emancipate myself 🙌🏻.
No more.
I spent my entire young adulthood being MOM. I have to take care of myself. I don't care if others think I am selfish.
Morning! That is how you have to look at it at this point! Taking care of you and working to make yourself happy is very important for your balance. Have a great day!
Agreed
I’m going through this. Last night I threw his clothes out and he called the police. I feel like I am going to have a stroke. I love him so much but he argues with me and challenges me about everything. I’m going to serve him eviction papers this week and my heart is broken
Hey, try to take easy; don’t call a stroke on yourself! These kids have their lives ahead of them, for the most part. Try to finish living yours! Do what you can to keep the situation under control and leave the remainder of it to God to work out. Over time, things will get better. In the interim, work to keep your cool and maintain your peace! I know it’s easier said than done when the nonsense starts but try to keep your focus. Visit us at midliferises.com for more on this topic and and stay connected to us. Be well, my friend!
And always remember they will hurt the ones who love them the most cause they know they will prob get away with it.
You are going to make it. It hurts so much. But I'd rather come home to a peaceful home than a home where you get no peace from children.
Well, I am feeling really drained, hurt, and fearful for my 21 year old son. Tonight, just a little while ago I told him he had to leave on the upcoming Saturday, just to give him time to work this week and have some money at his departure. He decided to forego going to work the rest of this week and went to his friends house the next state over. He called off last night too anyway which is where this whole thing began. He is TOO DISRESPECTFUL!!! That is not to say that I have been the perfect Mom because I haven't, ALL PRAISES TO THE MOST HIGH I am sooooo much better than I was. Regardless of that though, he had to go! He has only been back maybe about 2 months from when I put him out the first time in summer of 2019. He is still the same. TOO DISRESPECTFUL!
Hello there! No one but you can know how much you can take. It is good when we can identify our faults as parents. There is no easy way, however, to accept your child’s disrespect. If you feel you were pushed to the point of not having your son in the household then that it is your right; no one can judge. I hope it all works out where you can, eventually, make peace with the situation. Thanks for sharing and please stay connected. Good luck with all of it and be well, friend!
I am 65 and have raised my 3 children. I finished raising my last two alone because their daddy left us for his mistress 23 years ago. I have also raised my high functioning autistic granddaughter all alone. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I still work part-time, do life with no mate, handle everything alone and have to go beg for help when I need it. My kids are very good kids They all live away about 5 1/2 hours but that is far to me. They don't understand why I don't go visit much because to them it's not far. I work Monday through Friday 5 hours a day. Monday-Wednesday I come home and take my granddaughter to her little job for 1. I go back and get her at 4. I've been up since 5 a.m. and I'm getting to where I don't even want to come home and get her. I just don't want to deal with it 😢. I'm just burning out. I've always been the "go mama" and my kids can't accept that I'm getting weary. They don't take me seriously. I'm going to see them this week but before I can even go I have to get my neighbor to come see about my cats. I have to take my two dogs with me because there is no one to watch them. They bark and there's no one here to stop them when they get out of control. I have absolutely no one to keep them. Just to go up to see my kids is an act of Congress. My granddaughter doesn't understand things like other people even though she's high functioning. I have to pack two dogs and their food and then stop along the way to let them use the bathroom. She and I have to lift them in and out of the car. One weighs 60 pounds. I have to appease my granddaughter by stopping to get her something to eat. What I'm trying to say is I can't just pack my bags and go. These things haven't bothered me in the last 17 years. I got my granddaughter she was four. Now I'm just burning out. I'm just tired I need help. This is my hometown that I live in and I love my hometown. I do not want to move but when my children moved away so did a lot of my help. I take care of five animals daily. The biggest dog is the one my son asked me to keep for a while but he never came back and got her. Now he lives in a place where he can't have her because he went out and got two smaller dogs. I have another dog that I got about 8 years ago. I wanted him. I have three cats none of them I got myself. One is my granddaughter's and two are my daughters. I love the Lord and I am a Christian. This is part of the reason I feel so bad about the way that I feel. 😢 The dogs are 38 and 57 pounds. When we travel she and I have to lift them in and out the car. It's just all so hard now. 😢
Hello there! Thanks for sharing! As sad as this may sound, you may have to call everyone to take their pets back. It all seems hard now because it is. You are going to have to focus on you now. It is not worth getting sick over. Your body is telling you this is too much! Downsize as much as you can to find your comfort zone. You are due this now (your happiness). As far as your granddaughter, you might have to also get her back to her parents. Look at your options and do what you need to do to keep yourself grounded because if you pop, things will go awry anyways. Take the first step so that you can keep your life under control. Good luck and stay in touch. Happy holidays to you!!
@@Midliferises Thank you for just taking the time to answer. Be blessed. 💓✝️
My daughter saddled me with her dog had him 5yrs tho allergic to dogs I finally gave her 90days to get the dog becuz it was harming my health to keep the dog, all the while she bought2more dogs for herself. She said the dog was mine becuz I had it so long I found it a nice home through a rescue organization and FELT SO MUCH RELIEF my only fear was this dog would find it's way back to me it never did and you are not going to live forever maybe it's time to think what will happen when to your grand daughter when you are gone, research group homes ECT to find a semi independent housing/living for your grand daughter where she can live independent of you but where you can visit this will make the process less painful and smoother than to wait for your passing, trying to deal with the grief of losing you and dealing will a new lifestyle and home would be very traumatic all at once, you are tired it's time to seek other arrangements for the grand daughter before you die or it kills you
YESSSSSSSSSSS I'm dealing with this right now.
Mine are 27 with a child and 23. Hat me because I want them to get on with their lives. Want to be grown but still living at home or with someone. I was out of my moms house finally at 22 with both of them. And the disrespect I get from them is crippling and hurtful. My 27 year old told me yesterday that I have never done sh!t for her. And there you go. I took off from work a whole week used my PTO to help her with her new baby when I could have saved my time for me and put it in my pocket at the end of this month. Also, threw her a baby shower when her so called friend was supposed to do it. I've damn near broken my back for her and nothing I do is never good enough or right. I have to learn how to put me first for once in my life.
Hello Anita! I am sorry hear of your experience! This is what is happening all around. Some of our adult children are not picking up what we have thought them in terms of getting a skill and standing on their own two feet. Instead, they want to continue to depend on us while they take advantage of us. It is good when we recognize it for what it is and act because as indicated in the video ‘no empathy and gratefulness will show up; it will continue to get worst’. You are doing the right thing. Keep the ‘tough love’ switched on and do what’s need to keep yourself centered and well. Thanks for reaching out and stay in touch by subscribing to the channel. Also, visit our website (midliferises.com) for great readings on other midlife issues.
Anita C Hello Anita! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
@@Midliferises Hello! Sorry I didn't see your reply from 6 months ago. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions with my daughters, but I am doing my best to stand my ground and work on myself through therapy. I appreciate you checking on me and providing your advice. I will look into the link you provided. Again thank you for this video & the advice. It is so much appreciated!
You are not alone..x
Sad to say, the only time my 28 yo son calls me is when he wants money. Never a call of concern for my well being. Oh, he will ask how I'm doing but it ALWAYS ends with a sob story. It's getting real old and stressing me out to the point I hate even looking at my cell phone for fear of him texting or calling me.
He is 28 years old. There was no reason to ever give him any money
Don't answer his call 🤷🏿♀️
You ignore ! Walk away ! Pray for them for their salvation ! You may be angry frustrated and feel used and abused . Learn to keep your head up high walk in dignity and realize that it’s not you it’s them and keep on thriving .
You’ve got the idea, Moonie! It’s important to be able identify with the issue and know which route to take that will ensure your peace of mind. Keep on keeping the faith and stay connected with us.
Wow! Reading these comments and seeing that many these 20-somethings are just as my 24 and 28 year old. Disrespectful, ungrateful, and selfish.💔
I have 3 grand girls and the absolute worse day of my life was the day I had to cut my daughter off because of her entitlement and disrespect towards me. When she is around I feel tense and drained.
My ex husband and I, in all of our imperfections strived to give them the best life. Set the foundation for them to be happy, fulfilled, successful, assets to society and it just didn't turn out how we planned. I tried for so long to tolerate my daughter for the GrandGirls sake because I love them so very much but, for a mother to have sacrificed her life for her children, disrespect of any kind is not an option, so I stand firm on no contact.
I hope all of you peace and light. May you find joy in knowing who you are without the drain of ungrateful children. 🌹
Hello there, Ya Lotus! I hope this note finds you well. What you just described is awful and so very common! I’m especially sorry about the disconnect with your grandkids. I have two, myself, and can’t imagine the pain you feel over that! It sounds like you had to make this difficult choice, so stand by it. Continue to stand your grounds in prayers and in time, things will work itself out - it always does. Please stay connected and be well. Have a great day!
@@Midliferises 🙏
Thank you for making this video. I'm dealing with this situation as we speak with my 20 year old son. Today was not a good day at all but from now on I will stick to what's right by setting boundaries and not allow this toxicity into my life
That is how you do it! And don’t forget to show who is in charge by standing your grounds. I’ve seen how far these kids can go so don’t play around with him; give that tough love all the way. Stay in touch and be well and safe, my friend!
3rdEye Queen Hello There! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
Im dealing with this but in a kids point of view
uwu i see you uwu Hi, please explain.
If you allow it, it will get worse and not better.
I honestly haven’t been the best to my parents at 25 but Life has humbled so has God. I made a vow to respect my parents the rest of my days. No backtalk no lies no laziness. Just plain respect. Any child that has disrespected theirs parents repent and don’t do it anymore ! God is please with obedience to parents !
Good realization! Because this is a sure way to lose your blessings (disrespecting your parents)! Thx for sharing and have a great day!
All the long term chronic stress and emotional trauma from being alienated and estranged from my children has absolutely taken a toll on my health. After my divorce my beloved children were brainwashed into having no consideration for me and to think of me last. I havent had a single full night sleep in over 25 years. The ongoing sadness, torment, and daily pain as a divorced father who was continually minimized, maligned, and even falsely accused by the other parent has indeed ruined my health both mentally and physically. My heart & soul have been hardened and my ability to feel joy has died. Its terrible to say but its true. All my efforts as a father have been in vain. Its the last thing I ever expected as a father and still breaks my heart everyday.
I was recently diagnosed with cancer and I believe it is the result of all the damage done enduring the injustice and cruelty put upon me as a father. There is no way to remedy the damage that they have done to my mind, body and heart. This woman is correct. It will kill you if you don't find a way to resolve the hurt.
Help yourself before its too late.
Good morning, Joe! I am so very sorry for everything that you are explaining here! The pain is something that comes from the left field, and it definitely throws us off-balance! I believe it happens because our children are the least we expect to be mean to us. When the other parent is involved in the manipulation, it induces the pain even more! All I can say to you at this point is to keep the faith and focus on keeping yourself stabilized. There is a great article on our website covering more of this predicament. Please visit and read on. I wish you continued health, strength and stability! Please stay connected and keep in prayers. Thanks so much for sharing!! Have yourself a great day and be well, my friend!
❤
Today is the day for change:
No extra persons, no non rent payers in my home. Especially due to cov 19 I must enforce the agenda.
I have 25 son, 23/ 24 daughter,
Thank you letting me vent
Hello there and welcome! Yes, we are all being affected in one way or the other with the covid-19 outbreak - on top of all the other challenges. Keeping a clear mind with faith is key at this time.
Almeta Trammel Hello Almeta! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
It’s good to see so many controlling entitled Karens as parents your what’s wrong with society and hate to break it to you idiots but the tighter grasp you have on your children the more they will fight to get out of it
Bless you
Hello Queen💐 I'm 44 years old and my 22 year old adult son is respectful, college graduate and has his own condo and career. He's very smart financially and is very lovable however, my 14 yr. old daughter tries to destroy everything good. Idk, but I pray for her deliverance from evil spirits everyday and I'm getting the assistance I need from the psychiatrist to help her talk things through and maybe holistic medicine for her emotional state. I'm trying to hydrate my skin better and think positively that she will improve
Hello Gerri! Thanks for reaching out! It is always good when our children are going the route we want them to. I'm happy to hear that your son is doing the right thing! Your 14-yr old daughter is another story; there is always one or two in the bunch that sways. We can only, as you mentioned, pray for them. A lot of times there are background influences that interfere with us doing our jobs with these kids. Take a closer look and follow the trail to try and identify what could be the cause. I shared my experience with this issue in an ebook and how I was able to corner the source to pull through it all. Check out here bit.ly/2GawFC1 and stay connected to us. Have a fabulous day!
Been disconnected from mine decades already Decades I wish everyone good luck With their lives God sees everything.
Hello there! I apologize for the delayed response! For some reason, these comments did not come in; they are now showing in the feed! You are right on ‘God sees everything’. I’m sorry that you are going this long without your family! It’s not good when we have to do the impossible to protect ourselves from our loved ones but continue to leave everything in His well and capable hands! Thanks for reaching out and have a great holiday, my friend!
My beautiful son took his own life. I subsequently left my abusive husband and now my daughter treats me like shit. I don’t deserve the treatment she gives me I’m walking away for peace ❤
Oh my God! I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son; I can’t imagine this kind of grief! Whatever you need to do to keep things under control with your daughter, you need to do. Thanks so much for sharing! Keep the faith and stay in touch with us. Be well, my friend!
I'm so sorry for your loss-ALL of it. It sounds like you've been through a lot and my heart goes out to you. You don't deserve to be treated badly and I'm glad you value yourself enough to walk away from abuse regardless of who dishes it out. You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate from them. Your daughter may not LIKE you for walking away right now but she WILL respect you for it and that's where a healthy relationship starts: respect.
@@amiblack8294 you are sooo right … four months later we are back on track she is loving and caring again toward me. Leaving my abuser was the best decision I ever made and she can see now that painful an all as it was it was the right thing to do ❤️
Cut out toxicity from your lives in any form! Family can be very toxic too!
Exactly, some parents are very toxic then wonder why the children discard them. Check yourself
Oh boy! It is an epidemic! I‘m not sure what is going on. Just hang in there and pay attention to your needs. I’m in the midst of it myself. And this is while I just lost my dad and watching my mom battle onset dementia. It is not a fun time, but we have got to keep the faith.
Blessings to you. Sorry for the loss of your father on this side. Hopefully his transition was peaceful and with dignity. Dementia is not easy. From my 20 yrs experience in healthcare some say it's worse than cancer because it really steals the person before they are physically gone.
I pray for your strength and courage. I pray that whatever decisions you have to make that you make the best ones and that she has good trust worth people around at all times.
High Priestess Hi, you hit the nail on the head; she doesn’t fully! She is a fighter, though, and is coherent enough to know who is who. Thanks so much for reaching out and for your kind words! Have a fabulous day!
I know what’s going on . It is in the word of God . As closer as we get to the Lords return, children will HATE their parents. Matthew 10:20. Let’s of pray…
@@marijoschlecht9948 This is pretty scary when you think about it but nothing is above prayers - prayers is known to heal all wounds!!
@@user-vo7sp2uu7x smiling….my mom used to say these are the days of vipers!! Prayers, faith; this is all we need.
I'm 40 years old I'm tired of being stressed out by my 20 year old very disrespectful ungrateful son. I feel like I can't function. I'm supposed to be graduating with my masters this semester and I can't even focus on my school work because of my son's bs. He is literally draining me. I need to get him out and focus on me once and for all.
Hello Mango! Thanks for reaching out and congrats on your achievements! I am sorry to hear about your situation because you really need to keep your focus. I am guessing that your son lives with you. As you have realized, you are not alone. You are on the right track in going after your goal. Continue to find ways to keep the situation under control and not get pulled out of your character. I am not familiar with your full story, but our kids have a way of pulling the strings that lead us astray. Brighter days are ahead, my friend. Visit us at midliferises.com and check out our article on this topic. Stay connected and be safe!
smiling....I’m smiling but it really is a very serious situation. At this point, we just have to be strong to do what we know we have to do to stay healthy, happy and centered. Thanks for reaching out and do stay in touch.
I'm so glad to run into this! My adult child won't do anything to approve her life. She lives with me and 3 kids she sleeps until 3pm never cooks or cleans her space is horrific! I need help
Hello there, Michelle! Thanks for reaching out! You’ve got to slam the brakes on this as soon as possible!! This kind of behavior only has worst to get! I know exactly what you are dealing with, and your daughter will continue to challenge you until you dish out some kind of shock treatment. Check out our website midliferises.com). It has an article on this topic. See what you can get from it. We are presently working on a project to accommodate some support on this situation. In the meantime, stay connected and be well, my friend!!
Thank you!!! I thought it was just me. My ungrateful son just said F you mom to me. Almost broke my spirit. Thank God I found this. I feel better. He is cut off!
Hello there! Yes, this is a predicament; you are not alone! Please don’t lose hope. Just pray on the situation. Sooner or later, he will come around. It is very painful getting cursed at by your child. But trust me when I tell you, ‘things will fix itself’. Just do what you need to do to set whatever boundaries in the meantime. Stay connected with the channel and be well, my friend!
Omg the good LORD must have sent you. I am going thru this right now and needed this word right now! Thank you and be Blessed!
Smiling...oh yes, my friend, you are not alone! It is a real predicament for many of us parents! Pay attention to the details of your situation and stand your grounds! Stay connected and be well!
Thank you! We agree. My adult son doesn’t want to do chores. Have manners or considerations of others
Hi, same thing here; I'm not sure why there was no response on this one. In terms of your son, his age group is not clear, but we sometimes have to do extra work with some as they approach adulthood. Unfortunately, not all will keep the principles that were taught. It hurts us as parents to see this happening but try to make peace with it and pay attention to taking care of yourself first. Things will eventually work itself out. Stay connected and be well!
Thank you for this video. I’m having a hard time getting my son and his wife to move out during pandemic bc he’s having hard time getting full time as a chef. He’s very disrespectful acts like he deserves to live here for free as long as he wants and expects me to just accept this and treat him like he’s the best son in the world. Well he’s not the best son he yells if he doesn’t like my behavior and I did a great job raising him but he expects me to continue to sacrifice my life for him but IM DONE! Help!!
Good Morning, SandraMaryKay! It’s good to know your limits. This is exactly what these adult children are doing after a while. I believe they begin to take our sweetness for weakness. When you are able to identify with this problem, nip it in the butt early because it has no better to get. I commend you for slamming the brakes on the situation. It is more complicated when you have two against one but nothing is too hard for God! Keep praying about the situation and focus on the ways in which he will show you to get yourself out of it. Check out our article on this topic bit.ly/35vbX8D and the e-book I did on my personal experience with it. Stay connected and have a great day!
My 23 year old is doing this to me now ,4 days the girl been here laying up he yells at me
@@Midliferises thank you! I’m sorry I just saw this. My situation has gotten worse. My son is being manipulative or blind but it’s not good. I’ll definitely keep in better touch and I’ll read your article. Thank you so much!!
Hello there and happy holidays! You are on the right track so keep follow your gut. I opened saying ‘happy holidays’ - that was on purpose; don’t let anyone interfere with that, my friend and in touch!
I'm a grown man living on my own but when i was living at home with my girlfriend at the time i admit i disrespected my mom especially when i got drunk but my mom actually spanked me with a belt and told me long as I'm living in her house imo follow her rules and be respectful and i was more embarrassed and hurt from the whooping she gave me in front of my girlfriend than i was in pain from the belt she used on me
Im a single father of four three girls and one boy my second oldest moved out on her own which is great but has shut me out of her life. My oldest is still at home but is mostly over her bf house my son is home and my youngest daughter is still in high school. I've tried to do the best I can put in the safety number one making sure they had a chance at life. These kids are ungrateful and don't care the sacrifices I've made just so they could have a roof over their head closing their back food in their bellies I always tell him I love them and I'm proud of them they have completely turned on me and become ungrateful some more than others this can't be life I don't know what to do I'm completely lost but I know that happiness looks like me getting out of the situation in separating myself from my own kids is messed up is that sounds. I deal with health problems and I don't need this I wish I had someone to talk to. Sometimes my oldest is very understanding and sometimes she hasn't sometimes my youngest is understanding but now that her deadbeat mom decides that she wants to come back into her life she's not the same. I really want to give up everything has been all about my kids and they know that they just don't care I do feel that it's a little different for a black man if I get upset over something that they did or didn't do it gets magnified. I tried to teach my son to be a strong black man goes in one ear out the other because he's listening to a bunch of females talk about his dad especially his deadbeat mom.
Thank you I really needed to hear that I was feeling so guilty 💔😢
Oh no; never feel guilty about doing what you have to do to protect yourself (smiling)!
I was ashamed to put a comment down! Then I started reading. My God! What is going on?. I lost my children to unfounded aligations of Child Abuse at ages 10,7, and 3. I was NEVER out of their lives. Ever! Their caregivers on my Ex husband side. Always told my kids I was a bad Mom and Did Not Love them.
As adults now 26, 23, and 20. They have stole from me, hit me, destroyed my property home and cars. Along, with the countless times of disrespect. I always wanted to b in their lives no matter what. I lost a 5 year engagement to a Man who said he could Not or would Not watch my kids do this to me anymore. I cried for months after the break up. My kids just laughed at me. 4 days ago my 23 year old daughter offered to watch my service dog while I go out of town. Today she said she is NOT returning her!!! I'm devasted!!!! I feel like it's time to cut them off completely. I am terrified that they will abuse me as an elder. I feel guilt, but its Time! Thank you! I hope everyone 🙏 here gets to where they need to be.
Hello there! Please accept my apology for the delayed response! I am so very sorry to hear of the extent of your experience with this! We all have different stories. Don't ever feel embarrassed about yours. We know that each one is fueled by something or someone. Take time to find out what encouraged yours and stay strong in prayers. I promise you, there are brighter days ahead. Again, stay in prayers and keep the faith. In the interim, don't forget to take care of you. Be well, my friend!
@@Midliferises .... ty! So much! Appreciate the advice. Take ❤ care!
Thank you. This is the last time I help my adult children.
Hello there! Yes, you have to know your limit because they will cross that line each time. Good for you in paying attention! Stay connected and be well!
Funny thing, is my son wants respect, but he neither shows respect or speaks respectfully. I’m tired and I no longer want anything to do with him.
Hello there! Your decision to take a break from it all is understandable! Sometime you have to do just that to make sure you are clear on how you want to be treated. Once that is in place, try to build the relationship with the respect that you know you are due with no negotiating. Once you know you are doing your part, you’re good. Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
My kids are 20 and 18. Decided my happiness with my boyfriend is their business and started to try and control my life. I had to put my foot down so they moved out and are living with their dead-beat father to hurt me. They want me to pick between my boyfriend or them. I am at a total lost for words.
That is their tactic to manipulate you. My son would rather to talk to his uninvolved father instead of talking me. Instead I get verbally abused. I dont understand this generation. Ungrateful to say the least.
N Tran Hello There! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
Pick YOURSELF/HEALTH, first...
I'm 59 this September and my 3 kids are pulling me every which way. I feel like a ragdoll. When I make peace with one the others get upset
Hello there! Try to work to keep yourself centered and balanced. Everything works itself out when you are in control. Stay connected and be well!
Just going to say this, but when people say their kids are ‘disrespectful’ and ‘manipulative’ those same kids often have very different stories...
Hi! I’m sure. But this is not what is being discussed here. Thanks for your comment and have a great day!
Exactly Elizabeth
I am a 50 year old female, my 28 year old female twins are now ON BLOCK! I’ve been putting up with this way too long. My best friend and my parents and my brother has past away about 10 years ago, and all my kids did was manipulate my vulnerability rather than support.
I’m done ✅
And it sucks, but I’m sorry, no more narcissistic drug heads are getting any kind of pass with me.
Thank you
My adult children are not in my home separated from the narcissist father in April 2019. Thank you for your advice
Good for you and Happy New Year to you!
Keiheahera Kiwi Hello Keiheahera! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
are your kids with their father?
Yesterday my daughter decided to be disrespectful and put her hands on me! She had to Goooo
Ms . Peach I hope you took care of the business . 2 piece with an extra biscuit with coke and light ice !
So sad. Dont provoke your children to wrath parents. They will do anything to seperate themselves from you
My daughter is 42. I spoiled her rotten. She now treats me pretty disrespectful. I walk around like a scared dog with my tail between my legs. I don’t want to stand up to her because I don’t want hurt her emotionally. I hate myself because I just can’t tell her how I feel because it would come with consequences such as not letting me see my grandkids. Just very disheartening
That's why nobody should spoil their children. 🤷😁
Well said. Being a mother does not mean we are doormats or to be taken for granted!
Hi! That’s exactly right; there is a line we should not allow to be cross, regardless! Thanks for reaching out and have yourself a great day!
My children don't live with me. They have there own. I was there from day #1. They so ungrateful and disrespectful, I don't like it. I have decided to move away from them, delete all my accounts, and numbers. I did the best I knew how but it just wasn't good enough, so I give up. I don't wanna hurt anybody. This is soooooo heartbreaking to do, but I wanna live, I feel dead around them. They have become strange....😭😭😭
Hello and thanks for reaching out! I know, first hand, how painful this is! Congratulations on your initiative; I’m sure it was not an easy decision to make! I could only imagine the level of what you went through to take this kind of step; I’m sorry! A mother’s love never really withers, but we have to do what we have to do to protect our health and happiness. Check our latest article on the topic and do stay in touch. bit.ly/2BQ0NAo
Yes you can raise your child right and be there from day way but the old saying is true that we are only the vessels to get their souls here. They are their own persons at the end of day and will make their own choices 😔. Bless you.
Wow! Same here!Horrible we have to do this. But must be done
My 42 year old son, father of my two grandsons has been verbally abusing me for five years. He is in an extremely toxic marriage and blames his life on me for some ungodly reason. I have gone No Contact through these years, we try again and the result is the same. I know now it’s not me; I am firmly going No Contact. Unfortunately I will not be seeing my Grandsons, they started verbally abusing me as well.
Oh, Jackie; I’m so very sorry to hear of this! That has to be the most painful as the grands are a new generation - a new start. From one grandmother to a next, I am truly sorry! I am hoping one day very soon that your son will at least come around to fix the damage that he has done and that you will have proper access to your grands to salvage what is left. It’s very funny how these kids are not aware that they are setting themselves up to be next in line for the same hurt. I always try to point out to mine that they will be sorry! Hang in there and just keep talking to the one who sees and hears all. You will come out on top; just keep paying attention to soothing yourself. Stay in touch, my new friend!
MidLife Rises
Thank you for the wonderful kind words. I am getting better with therapy and Faith..
I feel your pain! That is just harsh to include the grands. I just can’t imagine what you are going through with that. Keep the faith, Jackie, you are not alone. Always remember the longest day has its end!
MidLife Rises Did you write this book??
Jackie King Hello Jackie! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
My Lady ...thank you for this... these new folks are so different
Smiling...yes, they are! Just try to find ways to maintain your peace while you work out a solution. Good luck and welcome to the channel!
Thank God my children aren't disrespectful. They are grown, with their own unique personalities and emotions. They are individuals who carry themselves gracefully and honorably, not contributing to the issues in society. Bless God🙏
Happy for you.❤
That's awesome it sounds like this is not the video for you congratulations
Hello Nina and welcome! Follow your gut and congratulations on standing your grounds. That is what we have to do with this generation, unfortunately. Don’t second guess yourself; you are on the right track.
Hi! Of course, don’t mention it; I’m quite familiar with what you are going through! Follow your mind and fight for your peace! Stay connected and be well, my friend!
My daughter is 29 weeks pregnant and blames me for having sever depression over 10 yrs ago..I am now healthy and mentally happy and well and in a wonderful relationship. It seems I have to pay forever for the terrible time it was..I also has cancer at 26 and was given 3 mnths to live..I have had a tough and hard life but i love my kids dearly..but it does not mean they can verbally and mentally beat me when I do something that they don't like or agree with. I feel like I am on tender hooks when I am with them that I may do something or say wrong so I have put my walls back up..they just hurt me so much,,
Hello there! I am sorry to hear of all of your unpleasant experiences; thanks for sharing! You have been through a lot and sound really blessed to have made it out soundly! Keep your focus on that and your happiness and continue on your journey. Do not give any energy to the kids at this point. We are all having these painful experiences! Know that you are not alone on this. Continue to live your life and be happy. You are blessed, ignore everything else.
Sad how common this is. I am sick of it and it's starting to affect my relationship
Hello there! Try not to let what is taking place alter your personality; this is very easy to take place. Just try to focus on what you need to stay happy and healthy while you find ways to keep the situation under control. Nothing stays the same; things will change. Just keep the faith and know that everything will work itself out fir the better. Stay connected and have a safe and wonderful 4th of July!
Our beautiful 23 year old daughter died of Covid 3 1/2 years ago. Her younger sister was a real psychological mess at the time, caused us all kinds of problems. There was a total lack of appreciation and abuse by her. We lost the good child and now we are left with a total disappointment. Things aren’t all bad, but there have been some extremely difficult times with dealing with her. Even though things have gotten better, it is as though she took over our house, started letting her BF sleep over every night, and drinking every daily, and smoking. Yesterday, I sat them down and shut that shhhiiittt down. I said no more. Now I have my home back.
@@liveacousticsound Hey, good for you! Thanks so much for sharing! That’s all it takes. The minute we stop talking is where it goes downhill. My condolences on your other daughter; it’s never easy dealing with a loss - especially a child! I can’t even imagine! Hopefully, the one that’s still with you will learn to respect you and the situation. Stay connected and be well, my friend!
How ironic I found this. I went online trying to discover why my sons behave so selfishly. Have a failed them as a mother? I don’t think I’m selfish
Hello there! Happy holidays and welcome to our channel! No, you are not being selfish; this is what has been going on with our adult children. Keep an eye on it and stand your grounds! Stay safe and keep in touch.
Needed hear this. Reading theses comments made me feel alot better.. knowing that I'm not alone..God Blessed me with one child..He 26 yrs old..very rude disrespectful..treats me horrible.. struggling to turn my back on him.. reading these comments let's me know I'm not alone an will continue praying God give me strength be strong an not allow the disrespect
Hello Denise and welcome! Yes, that is exactly what you have to do (pray and have a line that should not be crossed). Most of our adult children are walking around feeling privileged. Keeping them in line is difficult! It’s a lot more intense with boy children, but it can be done. I have three. Two lived with me and were taking turns with the disrespect. Keep praying about it, and He will sustain you; just keep the faith! It will all work itself out.
Thank you . needed hear this 🙏
Truly Denise You will be fine, Denise! There is no way your prayers will not get answered. Just keep the faith. Have a fabulous day and stay in touch.
Smart women choose childfree life. Just read all the comments here. How I regret being a mother. Adult children can be toxic and narcissistic. My daughter is torturing me mentally day and night. I love her but I cannot live like this anymore.
Hello there! Having the experience of being a mother is amazing; don’t ever regret those moments! Somewhere along the line, something breaks sometimes and there is usually a valid reason. Find what that is and work to fix it. I’m sorry to hear of your daughter! As you can see here, you are not alone. Take a closer look at your situation to find the culprit and start there. You will see everything in a different light, I promise. I shared my personal experience with this thing in an ebook, and how I found my way out. First, check out article on the topic here bit.ly/2IttXZi. See if it sheds some light on what you are dealing with. Stay connected and keep the faith, my friend; it will all work itself out!
@@Midliferises I cannot lie and sugar coat about the truth of being a mother. It is not amazing at all. I regret it. No matter how perfect you think you have been as a mom, it is still never enough and there is always something I should have done differently according to her. Never ending blaming me. I gave my all to her. She wants perfect life and she is blaming me for giving birth to her. This is like a like a slow painful death.
Purple Rain The defect is on her being disrespected! There will come a day when she, too, will regret what she is doing. Embrace the experience and stay in prayer, my friend. No job is too high for our savior to correct. Stay connected and keep the faith. Everything will work itself out; I am telling you what I know. Have a great day!
@@Midliferises Thank you. I appreciate your reply , your concern and your prayer. I really need it.Thank you .
Purple Rain check out this article and see my personal experience with this thing. bit.ly/3doJd59. It does get fixed. Find what’s feeding your situation and tackle it heads-on. Stay in touch and have a fabulous day!
To any mother, that’s reading this you do the absolute best you can. We have to know when to let go ,like she said, if we don’t, we become mentally emotionally, spiritually, and physically ill ,take care of yourself moms.
And this is a fact! Happy Mother’s Day to all moms! Enjoy your day and stay focused on what needs to be done to keep yourself centered, happy and healthy! Enjoy the remainder of your day!
Thank you so much. My daughter has totally exhausted me.
Hello there! I apologize for the delayed response?
Happy New Year to you!
New year, new you. Do something about this feeling. I’m not sure of your story but start distancing yourself from your daughter and pay attention to you and your needs. Thanks for reaching out and be well, my friend!
Thank you, feel better after another traumatic mothers day. So hard to focus on us as mums - and dads
I know. But that is exactly what we have to do. We cannot spend too much time fighting up with this stuff because these kids are not bothered by the things that they do. We have to mirror that behavior in a sense to keep our sanity. Stay connected and be well, my friend.
Tears ..after your talks 💖💖
Yep
I don't have that problem because the foundation is set during the formative years and I instilled those values (respect for elders, fear of God, etc.) there. However, thanks for the video as I am starting to encounter adults controlled by their disrespectful children, afraid of their children, and even prisoners in their own homes. Very bizarre situations and times.
Many others do the same and still that can't determine the outcome of respectful children. Often when some reach a certain age they can be influenced by others and change all they know ..
I'll be sharing this and some of the comments with my mama. My siblings are not granting the love and respect she deserves in her big age. I'm fedup watching my mom being mistreated. Its so painful. I worry about her health. Maybe this video will give her the strength she needs to let go and quit holding on because "i carried them kids for 9 months" .. lovely voice by the way. Ill be sure to checkout some of your other videos.
Hello there! Thanks for reaching out and caring! Also, thanks for the compliment! I wish all the best for you and your family. Stay connected and have a great day!
yes yes yes I am dealing with it and is so hard is so painful and it is starting to mess with my mental but I do know that I have to change it and not them me and the way I deal with it and that is not to deal with them until they're in a better place because I'm not going to lose myself and is so helpful to know that I'm not the only one that's dealing with something so horrific cuz this is devastating to see your own children turn on you and cut you like a knife they are just hard things to understand
Hello there! Yes it is very painful to know part of you can turn on us like this. However, life is full of surprises! Look at our situation today. You have the right mindset, in that, you will deal with it. Pray each day about the situation and do what you can to keep yourself together. It is not easy but nothing is impossible for our creator; just keep the faith, my friend. These are still our children, so we are in a position where we still have to hope for the the best outcome. Stay connected and be well!
I love the kid’s I do. But I wanna skip town an change my number. I been the best example I could be. They don’t listen. I told them everyone that’s grown an out needs to stay out. I’m tired of the sad stories they can’t adult. Every other day it’s something. Smh 🤦🏽♀️.
Hello Denise! Thanks for reaching out. I feel your pain with this! I also commend you on recognizing that you need to pay attention to your needs at this point. I think once we have made peace with the way, in which, we raised our children, the remainder is left to them to do the right thing. Stay connected and be well.
Lordy I hear you ! Every time I turn around it's something else kicking me in the gut.
Yassssss! Ive been trying for years to fix it Im done now
Hello there! It’s when you get to this stage that things begin to get corrected. Step back and leave everything to the Devine; it will all work itself out. Thanks for reaching out and be well, my friend!
Three of my daughters have disrespected me for the last time. I love my grandson's so dearly. It hurt to see them. Because I see her.
@@Yibrown371 Wow; I am sorry to hear this! You are completely turned off by your daughter’s behaviors, that’s why. But try not to involve your grandkids. You need to keep a good relationship with them, if possible. I know it’s hard but try to keep your feelings for their mothers separate. Remember, they are innocent in this. Thanks for sharing and be well, my friend.
Take some accountability
I can honestly say that I don't miss my disrespectful and self-centered adult child. Let go and let God. Yes, you'll definitely get sick with stress ...
Smiling...I love your outlook (let go and let God). This route is the only one to take when this stuff starts to hit home! Believe me when I tell you ‘I was there’; it is very painful for a parent!
Beautiful Sistar!!! Thank you for these words of wisdom. I have a parasitic drug addicted child draining me and my resources but no more!!!!!!
Hello there! Good morning and thanks for reaching out! As you can see here, we are all having our taste of this situation. Once drugs come into play, it makes this thing a little more tricky! What I can tell you here is ‘if your son or daughter is in the home (that wasn’t clear), try to get them help’. Them being under the influence intensifies the situation! While that is being done, try to separate yourself so that you can keep your focus to stay under control. Also, use your method of working out, even if it’s taking walks, so that you can induce happy feelings. This is a painful experience, but it will get better. Just take it one day at a time and keep the faith. Check us out at midliferises.com. There is an article covering this topic that I believe you will find useful. Thanks for reaching out and be well, my friend!
I’ve had cancer now I’ve got IBD and chronic pain and disabled I can’t have any stress but still they all go on I mean come on we’re not even talking about children here they are all adults in their 20s
Your lovely with very good advise a lot of people,e seem to blame the parents it isn't always so
Hello there! Thanks for reaching out and the lovely compliment! You know what is right from wrong, so you don’t need to worry about what people think. Focus on keeping yourself grounded and happy; the remainder is left up the most high! Stay connected and be well!
Take care of yourself 💕
Thank you and stay safe!
Trying hard to repair the relationship with my oldest son who we let live with us with his wife and infant son for over a year. He was very disrespectful especially toward me, his mother, and would be a bit of a bully. They would use my only grandson for leverage and try to say I had to ask their permission to have my friends and family over. Well that didn’t happen! Told him, sorry this is MY HOUSE! Praise God, that when I was at my breaking point, they came and told me they had found an apartment!!
@@PatNR813 Hi! This is so very common ‘being disrespected when we go all out’. The important thing here is to stay in control at all times and never stop talking. The enemy is very busy amongst some of our children, so don’t forget to include prayers in all of this, as it sounds like you are doing. These stories never sizes to amaze me! Thanks for sharing and stay connected with us. Have a great day!
My changes came at respect, I refuse to give you my all in raising and caring for you as a single parent; only to turn around and let you disrespect me.
It is very painful to receive this kind of treatment after putting in the commitment some of us parents do! The kicker is to keep the focus on finding our comfort and happiness after raising our children. This way, we can get past whatever I’ll-treatment we have to undergo because our minds will be occupied and at peace. Stay connected and be well, my friend!
Im done sitting back being called bitches and hoes. I started handling them in the same matter in which they try to handle me. They dont like it.....and we get back to loving and respecting each other. My mom says just because your chlid is grown doesn't mean your finished teaching them.
My son disagrees but as a mom u can’t help it
Oh no that is bad cut the cord I already cut off my daughter with the insults and now my son is disrespectful bringing his female friend luggage into my house without my permission and going to bring her to my place while I'm gone out of the country for vacation hell on wheels when I return just don't give a damn how I feel but wants me to give him money from my settlement case HELL NO IM going to focus on my damn self for once they don't appreciate anything
My son is 38 and have been living me since 2013 and pay hardly nothing. He brings random females over don’t introduce them. He takes may car, and more than a few times we had horrible arguments. I put up with his poor behavior towards me due to watching him on life support 5 times from his asthma. I am now drained and been having severe anxiety attacks. I hate to admit it but I’m done with him.
Oh yeah! Morning! When you get to this stage, you know it’s time to pull back. If he is well enough to bring girls over, he is good! Please start paying attention to you and stop letting your son drain your energy; he sounds ‘A, ok’ to me. He should be on his own and if not, he needs to get more responsibilities. You are being taken advantage of. It’s time to pull back! Visit us at midliferises.com and read our article on this topic. Stay connected and happy holidays to you!
Get your life back brother. I just put my son out and I know it was the right thing because I instantly felt better!
Yes. This too is a problem. Eye refuse to allow this issue to stress me out!
Hello there! And that is the attitude to take with this stuff because it can consume you! Try to find a solution while taking care of you. Thanks for reaching out and happy holidays to you and your! Please stay safe and connected.
My mother is a victim of this see what happened was that my dad died when my youngest brother was a very young age and my mothe knew that my personality was gentle and kind so my mother disciplined me and i honor her for doing that because that shaped me up but for youngest brother he is extremely disrespectful and he is very nice BUT EVIL and my mother never disciplined him not once because i love my dad to death God rest his soul but he mistreated my oldest brother really bad and my mother is very afriad of my youngest brother because she reminds him of my dad and he acts just like my dad i believe it's a generational curse because this whole thing happened to my oldest brother and my dad im tired of keeping family dirt a secret Im trying my hardest to have a relationship with God so i can break the curse im so happy God entered my life at 15 ❤ but temptations and evil still come
Hello there! You just have to keep the faith and know that everything will work itself out; it always does, Happy holidays to and the family!!
My daughter hates me and blames me for everything....no, she does not live with me, and she has a wonderful life, but she has taken me out of her life....2 grandchildren....she has no idea what I endured as a single mother....
I’m so sorry. I understand you. I have a similar situation.
@@Scanpian Do you play piano? Also, I am sorry you are going through similar. Perhaps we can share on a sidebar. Just don't know how to do that. Do you?
Hello there! I am sorry to hear of your experience; it is always more difficult when our grandkids are included! I am truly sorry! With this, you are going to have to find a way to mend whatever is broken so that you can get back with your grands. I’m not sure how far-gone the situation is. Go to the beginning and see if you can discover what is fusing the anger then work your way from there. Good luck and stay in touch. In the meantime, happy holidays to you, my friend!
@@forpeace1580 thank you for replying. I am an amateur, adult learner of piano. How can we write on a sidebar? I’m not sure how to do that.
@@Scanpian I don't know, will try and figure out tomorrow! If you do, please let me know ;)....
Yes, it’s happened to me today. Very disrespectful dau.
Hello, Yvette! We can only be taken advantage of if we let it; stand your grounds!
Yvette Hello Yvette! I hope you are doing well! Learn how I was presented with my experience and the method I used to keep myself strong, balanced and healthy through it all. bit.ly/2YbmYcS
Tq mam same with me too.. Love from India to you mam for giving such a confident suggestion. Having issues with my 21 year old daughter... So very disrespectful.. Sometimes she even beats me and argues a lot.. I am a diabetic patient 48 yrs old and find very difficult to take tantrums from her
I am experiencing this right now. I is a sad case. I would have never imagined this in my lifetime. They could care less about me, But I have always did my best for them
Good morning! This should be your peace of mind, my friend - ‘that you did your best’. You are able to keep your focus when you know you have done your job. Have yourself a great day!