My husband told me he wanted to marry me on the first date..6 months later we got married..,he’s a good man. Don’t waste your life on a man women...if he don’t want you let him go..🌸🤚🏾
True however in 2021 I wouldn't be marrying no man after the first date and definitely won't be marrying after 6 months. You is the exception to the rule and I respect that ☺️❤️ But ladies in general do get to know someone first
@@quitaakaqui yes it’s right to get to know the person but don’t get trapped by a man for years waiting on him to propose or be a “friend” for years wasting time. Good luck.
@@sarahscroggins2793 didn’t say wait thaaaaat long lol but long enough I been through it too many times not getting to know a person first . Lesson learned .
Because he doesn’t want to!! A man knows the woman he wants to marrry and it don’t take 6 years!! One reason you NEVER shack and play house, he’ll string you along for 8 years and marry the next woman after 9 months!
Honestly most men today are not looking for wifes honestly. I feel like it's mostly because of the influence today, and that women give boyfriends husband benefits.
Exactly! As one of the TV judges used to say: don't give wife duties at girlfriend prices... in my own life I've seen friends invest so much into a man and get mad when he leaves. when I make investments I'm looking for a return on my investment, but a GF BF relationship ain't one of them by being a wife without being married. Many of us have made mistakes in the relationship area but I have let my mistakes be a wake-up call for me. Time going by too fast to let someone take that much life from you and not invest into you.
Women aren’t to blame. There is only one group of men not marrying in large numbers. No matter how much women in other groups run wild, they still get married.
Majority of men's jus dnt wnt 2 own up 2 the responsibilities that comes along with marriage. Most men's out here not fit 2 be anyone hubby on providing 4 a family👪Smh
What if he never finds that though? Then what? He ran through plenty of good women just to end up 70 and with no one 🤣. It’s just crazy to me!! But I wish them well. The stats aren’t in women’s favor when it comes to marriage.
@@shutit4024 we’re waiting for something that isn’t going to happen 🥺. Well it’ll happen for a small amount of us women ,25 % (black women, I’m black). That’s why sometimes I don’t see the point in the “the one” or marriage conversation because the men aren’t getting married like that. They don’t value marriage like we do lol. But I’ll remain hopeful 🙏🏽.
Ladies don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. I’ve had amazing conversations and sexual attraction to dusties/lovebombers who I should NEVER walk down the aisle with! Men know exactly what they want and who they want it with. 💕
I can see that and I'll add from my personal experience, my ex had put me through a lot of stuff before marriage and before we divorced I was to the point where I just wanted out for good which included resentment, hurt, anger, communication issues due to the past plus the issues that were current at that time. We were together 2years before marriage but broke up for about 4months and then we reunited. However, looking back the smartest move would have been to let bygones be bygones even though we have a son together.
i think this is the case with my sisters friend 18+ years she wasted her whole 20"s now shes 40 ant they engaged and have a date set and church to get married this year.. tbh i think she is doing it so it doesnt look like she waisted her time,,she/he doesnt have any kids so she stuck to her guns with that because they werent married but they dont even look in love or like which is the sad part i do think its the resentment piece in the equation..she wasted her youth with this guy and now hes balding she looks older than her age ..I dont see this lasting 18 years together dating but the outcome might be less than 5 years sadly because everyone sees the red flags but she needs to prove see after all these years we are getting married smh
He won’t marry you because he doesn’t want you. Women we must accept the truth. When a job doesn’t hire you... usually they will say, you’re not a good fit or we have decided to go with another applicant. In that job situation, you have to accept that job wasn’t for you. If a man doesn’t propose, he isn’t the one. Keep it moving quickly ladies to position yourself for the man that is for you.
"Keep it moving quickly?" How?when people love hard they get wounded badly its very difficult to move on even if they wanted to. Shouldnt they heal first or should their new partner help them with that?
@Abc Def facts!!! Like I said it’s the character of a man is what I believe because I knew a few couples who had sex before marriage, live in the house before marriage, had kids and still gotten married and are married over 25 years ( happily married I add) and you can just see the light in their eyes when they’re around each other, that’s why I call bs when people say oh he won’t marry you because of X,Y and Z but it’s funny cause as soon as he’s done with his “girlfriend” of 10 years he’s marrying another woman with in a year after they already had sex and lived with each other, I find that so strange but I still wouldn’t give a man wife benefits just Incase
You can't make someone want to marry you either. I learned that the hard way. After two years of dating a guy and he still did not want to marry me. I cut him off and stopped seeing him.
I've heard those stories so many times. Couples that have been together for years then get married and divorce a year later. Then there are couples that marry after 6 months and are together for 25 years.
i know someone thats been together 18 years and they 39 and now they are engaged to be married..the man has been cheating and a raging alcoholic for years...Its a bad decision but i think she wants to get married because she wasted all those years tbh thats why people dont last after being together that long
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.... TREATING ME, LIKE TRASH.. EMOTIONALLY ABUSING ME... I DESERVE BETTER... THEIRS JUST, SOMETHINGS.. INBEDDED IN PEOPLE'S PERSONALITIES.. THAT YOU CAN'T OR WON'T CHANGE... ON TOP.. I FOUND OUT HE HAS GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM FOR.... YEARS... I THINK I DODGE A BULLET.... ITS SCARY... WHEN THE MASK DROPS... 🎭
Listen to Tony gaskins& old Kevin samuel videos. You will learn about you/relations. In addition, dr. Joe dispenza for spiritual lity of self.....you WILL LEARN OF SELF ❤
It’s a matter of disrespect, especially when they know you want marriage and you’re giving him so much of yourself….your time, your life, your sacrifice, your body. He is disrespecting you and you are allowing the disrespect when he shows you year after year that he does not believe you are the one. 💯
@@Notyou382 acknowledging that you deserve more is the 1st step! Date yourself for a while and work on your 3 B’s. You’ll discover a lot about yourself and raise your vibration. Then you’ll be ready for your husband 💕
Tony spitting facts as usual. One thing I will say is DO NOT under any circumstances move in with a man who is not your husband. The amount of stories I have heard, and seen with my own eyes of friends, and friends of friends, where the woman has been living with the boyfriend for years, performing wife duties for him; cleaning, cooking, doing ALL the house work for a grown boy - and still no marriage, or they have broken up. Most of these women also have kids with these men children. And when the topic of marriage is brought up, she's met with 'why should we get married it's like we're already married anyway' and ladies, he's right. Why should he bother marrying you when you already made yourself a wife to him by doing all these wifely duties? Never underestimate a man's ability to take you for granted and get too comfortable, and moving in with him will do exactly that. If you want marriage, make it clear that if he wants to live together and have children, he must give you marriage first. Don't make the mistake of moving in with him/having kids without that, because NONE of the MANY women I know of that have been living with their bf / have had kids with him for years and years, have gotten married. And it likely will never happen for them. Be smart. Never act like a wife for a man who isn't your husband.
That piece of paper mean something. Look at what just happened to DMX live in girlfriend. She tried to sue to get his net worth and didn't get a dime. She lived with him for almost 10 years and got nothing in return😓
Exactly! Women are always investing deeply and rarely get a return on their investment🤔 this is where women lose when we don't uphold our standard for marriage and just be a live-in girlfriend.( she did everything a wife does and got none of the benefits a wife should have gotten at his death)
Spot on video!!! Either he does not want to get married, or he doesn’t want to marry you. Either way it isn’t good for you. Had to learn that the hard way… don’t waste your time ladies. Life is way tooo short
I know this all to well. I was with a guy over 10 years when I should have left years ago. Met someone else I’m now engaged we are marrying in October it will be exactly 2years From Dating, engaged to marrying this October. It don’t take all day to see sunshine men Know early on if your his wife. Glad I decided to wake up and smell the Folgers 😂🥰❤️
After watching your videos, my cousin and friend getting proposed and now engaged under 36 months (dating +not on their back 18-24 months + proposal x planning 12 months weddings are this month), there’s absolutely no reason why four-five years with no solid commitment should happen. Listen to Tony, I know women (examples) who are literally living out his advice and do not know him. It is spot on!
It’s a few content creators on Instagram building a whole brand and been in relationships for 3,4,5 years. I look and say now what if they don’t get married , I know the woman heart will be broken. So sad . I hate to see ppl waste their time
Ladies, if you have to ask the question you already know the answer. Sometimes we just need to hear it from someone else. We have to learn how to love and value ourselves first, so that we don’t let people waste our time. This why I started my TH-cam channel to help women. Thank you Tony for another great video 💕.
This is so true but unfortunately some women will be offended,but it’s the truth!!please don’t waste years on a man who doesn’t intend on marrying you!!Wasted time is worse than wasted money can’t get time back!!!Be blessed❤️
This is fucking raw he is on something right here. Men know when they meet the wife. Some women just don’t have the skill in the bedroom, the fun personality, the body type, etc. some men won’t marry a woman who has slept with too many people. Young ladies pay attention. If a rich guy comes your way he may choose a lower body count over you. I’ve seen men do that to women. They will marry “her” in a year and forget you! Also this girl with a boyfriend of 5 years watch out he is flirting with other women because he doesn’t love you like you think.
I never understood the whole money issues. I'm assuming people don't realize one can simply go to the court house. If one can't afford a wedding. It's simple, COURT HOUSE.
I had a guy use that excuse and wanted to focus on his family and “health”( this is the same man that sleeps with girls unprotected and smokes weed all day but okay )on me but because I wanted a relationship so that was his excuse which was bs but after I started to open my eyes I’m like..why would I want a relationship like this? So I cut him off and later I found out he cheated and beat on his ex I said I’m happy I dogged a bullet.
I do. Whether people want to admit it or not money is a big deal in marriage. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have their money together because they will only drag me down.
I know a couple who lived together for 5 years until she moved out suddenly in order to get a proposal. He proposed six months later and they are now married 9 years with two babies.
She woke up and realized she was playing house and giving herself to this man who become complacent and comfy to not stepped up to do the upright thing So she drew that line in that sand and checked this man to either or neither
That's the exception not the rule...don't allow this one fairytale ending help you stay in a dead end relationship without consultation with God because that may have been her husband who was not obeying his spirit or his heart or a man that had another woman and he had to finally make a choice. We also don't know everything that happens here because obviously she will endure years of unhappiness without leaving as shown in her staying 5 years without a ring. Just don't get confused by someone else's situation.
@@itslivenow3079 you're not being mean sweetie most juvenile people that don't know me or have the mental capacity to think of anything else when someone challenges them always goes for looks so it's OK its predictable at best but I don't consider it mean. But to respond to your very narrow minded comment, a lot of women and men that look like me are in happy and productive marriages and didn't have to wait in a dead end relationship for years on end hoping and handing out ultimatums to essentially force the person to marry them or settle for them. I'm not in a relationship of that nature so I really can't relate to what you're speaking of because I don't have to live with someone with the hopes that he will marry me...maybe that is you and your mate's reality 😊
If he does not believe you're the one why is he wasting his time and the significant other's time, it's really an unfair to the other person who wants to get married when they could be looking in another direction just like them, so they're looking in another direction while you're looking at them.
Off subject but i have to testify. Last week, I was going out for a hair cut. Didn't care much about what i was wearing. Well, as I got closer to the door to leave, I KID YOU NOT❗ I heard in my spirit, with Tony's voice: you ladies going out looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him😳🤣🤣 !! I was like Whaaaaaaaat❓ I knew right away that was the Holy Spirit using Tony. I immediately decided to wear something nicer and felt like my spirit was lifted. 🥰 Ladies keep listening, you never know when things brother Tony says will apply to your situation. Brother Tony, May the Lord keep pouring onto you and the Queen🙏🏾
Thank God for this... even women appreciate the beauty of another lady because it's pleasing to the eyes.. all women should see themselves as walking flowers 💐
Before you even start taking a man seriously, you should have the marriage talk. If he's serious about marriage, he'll be open to the conversation.Then you can explore a relationship. If he's acting confused/ aloof & not asking for your hand within the 1.5 to 2 yr mark...It's time to go. Men who want a wife don't waste any time...and they don't want you to get snatched up by someone else either. Atleast that's what I tell myself..lol
@@pamelahartfield7575 It is a curse to marry someone based on scripture. You had better know who you are marrying, church or no church; Bible or no Bible. God has nothing to do with a person's character. I married a man who had a woman committed to him for over 30 years. Everyone knew it, but me. Marriage is up and down - in and out. The happiness comes from two people who want marriage and work on being married. Some women marry because they do not want to fornicate and that is a poor reason to marry. Go to a marriage counselor and do not follow your organs; check his/her credit background, health, past work record, house, car, clothing, shoes and how they upkeep their dwelling. Does he/she drink from the carton and if they do, does it bother you, do they wash their butt, feet, and hands, brush their teeth, and do they gamble, drink and stay out all night. Are they dating other women? Do they belch, fart and are they ethical? A woman should walk into a marriage like Eve did. Everything was already there, in the Garden of Eden, when God joined them together. Church brothers can be very smooth manipulators. Do not be fooled by their representatives. I know numbers of women in the church who have never married or remarried, ain't no sin in being a wise woman. Do your marital homework.
This is soo true ladies , my ex def gave me the finances and the we need to fix these current issues before we take the next step . It’s absolutely BS ladies ! But guess what don’t worry about it . Cut it off and you will get what you deserve !
I'm watching a show online called "put a ring on it" and it made me think of you because these girls are in long term relationships and I can imagine you as a host on the show looking straight at the woman like "gon bout your business!" lol all I can say is Thank you for Tony Gaskins!!!!
Men and women have become way too comfortable playing house and forgetting what God desires for us. Not to mention, His desires for us if discerned and done correctly is better than our own desires. Most men are creating their own definition of marriage and many women are taking the bait. A man will give you a baby before he gives you a ring and commitment. I’ve said this before and I must say it again, in order for a woman to know her worth, she has to know God First. Long term dating is distractive, and destructive. Some people are simply just not meant to be. Time is precious and it’s best to use it wisely. Learn from your mistakes, put God where God belongs (FIRST) and look forward to better things, people, places, and days ahead. 🙏🏽
Men get married when they want to get married. So it’s best to find a man that wants and value marriage and the wait won’t be long at all. He will also let his intentions for you and marriage known very early in the relationship.
ABSOLUTELY TRUE..... ON POINT!! MY SISTERS WORDS... IF THEY GO OUT WITH YOU FOR YEARS... THE MARRAIGE IS GOING TO END MUCH SOONER THEN THE AMOUNT OF YEARS YOU'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM... TRUTH TO BE TOLD.. COLD HARD FACTS.. ❄️💯💯💯
true parents dated for one year and were married for 40 before my mom died...mom her dad never took care of her and my dads parents divorced when he was young so they both didnt want broken home and wanted stability
I feel you, Tony. And I agree. I once asked a man who, at that time, had been with a white woman for 12 years, why he hadn't married her. The gist of his reply was, "I'm good on that." I thought, "wow. That could never be me." It's cool if a dude doesn't wanna be married. But I'll tell you what, I won't be your permanent girlfriend either. Go find someone else to play house with forever ever after. Bye.
ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM AFTER DATING HIM FOR 3 WEEKS... LOL.. AFTER A MONTH OF DATING HE SAID.. IF YOU EVA SPEAK ABOUT MARRIAGE.. I WILL DISSAPPEAR.. I WAS STUMPED... HE WAS MARRIED FOR 20YRS..DIVORDED NOW FOR 9YRS NOW.... HE DUMPED ME WENT OR TOOK BACK HIS X GF, THAT HE DROPPED 8X..ALREADY...I'M GLAD, I'M OUT OF HIM.. I'M A QUEEN... LADIES... DNT LET ANY GUY TAKE YOU FOR NOTHING.. HE WANTS THE WIFEY... BENEFITS... SERIOUSLY.. NO... 💯💯💯💯💯
When you’re grown you don’t play games. Either we’re getting married or not. I’m not about to play with no grown man. You know what you want ……. P.s Tony get them flowers for the Queen 😂 she definitely showed you to see lol
😂😂😂😂 "well uh unfortunately I just want to let you know he's not sure about you" 💀 c'mon y’all you want to know the truth or want to be lied to & waste years of your life
Tony I wish there was a mentor or mature adult like you in my life back when I was in my twenties. You are speaking nothing but the truth and I really hope all the young ladies out there are taking notes! He is not lying y'all trust and believe!!!
Still no commitment after 5years. Gotta move on. But however that’s the maximum timeline for women. Some men won’t even budge even it hits the 10years mark unless there’s ultimatum. That’s how pathetic some people can be and willing to go through just to wait and wishing for the men to marry em. If its long overdue, just have the closure, cut the ties and move on. Woman we gotta stop being foolish and be so patient for this case.
Thanks for your honesty, wish i had listened like 3-4 years ago! Saved myself time! and Your funny! It was very eye-opening to hear it, much appreciated 👏
Whewww chillllleeee👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯🎯!! Tony you were so on point with this video! Which ur always on point with them all but this was soooo true!! I have been in a situationship of that sort where it was the back n forth for years & i allowed it & there was no marriage but i thank God I have let that situationship go as of 2019 & will never again settle for anything less than God’s best for me! Like Tony said, it don’t take them that long to know… some are still together because of soul ties but know your worth & value & know that you deserve better than someone only being with you when its convenient for them, like you’re only a temporary fix. When you know better you will do better💜💜
I hear you. So instead of the guy saying I don’t want to get married to you.. when they realize it.. we just have to put a time limit in our heads and make moves if it doesn’t happen (this is speaking to the relationships that are good, both people are good ppl and enjoy each other). Ultimately, no man is going to cut it off until we do..
Recently I googled the term CO-HABITATION (living together). There is a plethora a research done on this topic from different perspectives. Most often the results supported I read were....... Co-habitation typically does NOT lead to marriage. If they do get married after co-habitating for 5 plus years then they typically divorce within 7 years. Since there is no solid commitment to each other, having children is not in the co-habitating plan. Most often the woman is encouraged to use birth control. And other reasons why living with your man might not be the "beneficial testing of the waters" that you thought it would be.
its not benefitical at all ..we got engaged moved in together i got prego and after i had the baby i moved out ..luckily i had the presence of mind to move out many wouldve got married anyway since we filed the papers..my life has actually improved since i left him mental,weight loss and finances ..looking back at my 27 year old self i cant believe I left but seeing how my exes life is now alost 8 years later alcohol addiction ,unstable living and not financially sound i really think he was trying to lock me down because of my resources because when i tell you i dodged a bullet i dodged it .
Yes it’s not meant to last because it’s cheating and going against the natural order of building connection with someone. They get all of the benefits of marriage without marriage? Yes, definitely a scam and 9/10 the man is most likely looking for “the one” while living with the gf.
I’m currently listening to “make it work” on audible and it’s the best thing I’ve read in a while. It gives clarity on navigating through relationships.
We live in a world where a man will waste years of your time if you let him, so you need to have a timeline and standards to hold on to, not put everything on a platter so that he thinks there's nothing else to work for or earn and you are just happy playing house. Date and be in a relationship with a purpose, save benefits aside that you will only give to a husband and that includes what you do in the bedroom plus cooking and cleaning all day. It might be hard to have invested time and feelings into a relationship for years, but it's even harder to let this keep you unhappy as a forever girlfriend when you know you deserve so much more, so turn that car around and don't keep driving on the same road if you see it's getting you nowhere.
@@elizabethjordan5755 Thank you very much, i agree. He doesn't necessarily have to refuse because it's good for women to have self-love and not ask a man for this or give ultimatums. The simple choice to not take action is "refusal" enough. If he lets time fly by and doesn't think he needs to do anything more to show the place you occupy in his life or secure your relationship, those are signs to start distancing yourself and not wait around. If he really wants you, he will come get you. So always be intentional with dating and your relationship if you want it to get serious, otherwise most men will enjoy a lifetime of laughing, having fun and playing house because they already get all the benefits, so they don't feel the need to do an extra step.
@@CarmenLifeCoach And that's the sad part. Men think they have all the time in the world to goof around with people's lives. After a certain age, it looks quite silly seeing a grown man "play house" when he should be further down the road in life. Other societies value, celebrate and highly support the marriage institution, while many A American men treat it like a joke. If Blk men want to be taken seriously here and internationally, they need to stop using females as sexual target practice and utilize marriage as a vital component for a strong thriving culture.
@@elizabethjordan5755 I hear you, i think it has more to do with the individual's education and mindset, because in every country and race there are bad men but there are also good men and while we cannot change this proportion, we can choose to only be next to a good one and form a healthy family with him. The rest of them who don't believe in marriage can only be changed by women who refuse to give away all the benefits and play house forever.
I remember watching this video years ago and hearing you say he don’t want you was a gut punch. Now I look back happy I didn’t look back. I’m glad I kept it moving. I’ll never get so low for a man again. Ladies never let a man have so much power over you. We def have to stop putting men on these God like pedestals.
Mr. Tony Gaskins God bless you and your family. Thank you for all of your words and wisdom as well. I wanted ask if you could please make another video explaining what to do when asking a man , “what are we?” As well as what does it mean when he responds in different ways. Please and thank you , God bless you !
Meaning if a man says this or that when answering the “what are we” question.. what do those responses mean and what should be done after he has answered with an i don’t know response.
My prayers go out to you (honestly). The betrayal behind cheating is a death blow. The only thing worse is when the person you love has a baby w/ another.
I have dated men who I slept with because I was so attracted to them, thinking they would marry me. They didn't. And once, I was just friends with a guy who asked me to marry him BECAUSE I didn't sleep with him! I told him I wasn't a virgin; didn't matter. He liked how I behaved with him. I didn't marry him, but it was a life lesson.
The ACTION of making a DECISION to commit. We make a decision to make a commitment to a job, buying a car, buying a house in a split second. Make a DECISION about your relationship.
This is absolutely true I was in one 13 yrs I was young but then repeated and my last one 7 yrs I do wish I had walked away both times because like you said building with someone, helping them with goals and kids and then not be together in unity…
And once he knows you’re the one. Now let’s dig deeper and see what that means to him. I know a guy who married his wife because he though she was the one. Yeah, the one who would pay all his bills and the one who he knew would never leave no matter how many times he cheated.
You got that right. I turned down 3 proposals before I met my husband. God showed me they were not for me. They KNEW I was wife type and I was dating to marry so they had to come correct. However after prayer and fasting God revealed their true intentions. For vArious reasons those relationships had to end. So I had to decline and move on. It was TOUGH to do it but I knew the day I met my husband why it would have never worked with any of my ex fiancés. The difference was night and day.
Happy fourth, y'all! This was exactly my case with ex of 3 years. He said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. Then he said he wanted an open relationship, I was like nope thanks. Selfish of a man.
This hit hard 😞 I know what I need to do. I have been with my bf for 7 years and I want to get married and the second reason you talked is what I always hear. I think I just have to pull the plug here cus I think he is afraid to do it. I love and care for him but I can’t keep being with someone that gives me lame ass excuses and there is nothing wrong to start over either. I have been with him since I was 19 and I’m 28 now. Yeah we long distance for 4 years but now living here for the past two years I haven’t seen any change and I don’t like how I am changing either. I want to feel peace in my heart and start over.
Wow you’re still young baby girl. I’m 37 and I can tell you for sure please don’t EVER give another man more than 2 years of your life without any real commitment. You were with him young so I understand why you stayed but it’s time for new beginnings for you. Good luck 🍀
Bless yo heart Tony... apparently they didn’t see your video “He don’t want you”... point blank period... HE DON’T WANT YOU!!! I’m so sorry you have to continue to REPEAT yourself! DAMN 🤦🏾♀️
Hey Tony and blessed tribe! Happy Independence Day! I got married at age 36 to a man I dated for 18 months. It was his first marriage too and he was also 36. We divorced 3 years later. He actually was the only man that did not hesitate to marry me. I truly believe he married me mainly because i was a MAJOR upgrade from his previous relationship. Lots of hard lessons learned, but I was intent on getting married!
@@ARS-fn6px honestly he had an alcohol addiction that got worse and unbearable the last year of marriage He refused to get help. (I would have supported his recovery)I had two teenagers that were not his and he had a teenager too. He blamed his drinking on them and was verbally abusive towards the kids! He drank when I met him, but that wasnt a dealbreaker for me because he didn’t start acting crazy until after marriage.
Its amazing how God made you to help us understand marriage coming from a good marriage, because people like me think if its the right one its gone be perfect, but Im hearing that it wont be perfect, just two people who choose to both try..that choose each other☺️💯
Hi Tony Your content is 🔥🔥🔥🔥😁 I’m soo glad Jesus Christ lead me to you because I’m fresh out of 2- long relationship and don’t know the 1st thing about dating.GOD Bless You and protect you from the evil one and his demons. Oh, I’m 55, I need some advice on this, Thank You 😊 🙏🏽
Spin, 1 thing for certain 2 thing for sure, man either serious or he playing. Us women create too many details when it’s quite simple. Look @ it from the outside looking in maybe his only purpose is to help elevate you to the next level. Most mindset are moving according to social constructs.
Most men know what they want! If he is not mature for a marriage but just want sex and just hanging out let him go!! My husband and I dated for 1 year and got married going on 18 years!!! It’s has not been easy but God kept us together and it has worked out!!!
My husband told me he wanted to marry me on the first date..6 months later we got married..,he’s a good man. Don’t waste your life on a man women...if he don’t want you let him go..🌸🤚🏾
Thanks for this
True however in 2021 I wouldn't be marrying no man after the first date and definitely won't be marrying after 6 months. You is the exception to the rule and I respect that ☺️❤️ But ladies in general do get to know someone first
@@helenaxxxx5015 true have to get to know the person first
@@quitaakaqui yes it’s right to get to know the person but don’t get trapped by a man for years waiting on him to propose or be a “friend” for years wasting time. Good luck.
@@sarahscroggins2793 didn’t say wait thaaaaat long lol but long enough I been through it too many times not getting to know a person first . Lesson learned .
Because he doesn’t want to!! A man knows the woman he wants to marrry and it don’t take 6 years!! One reason you NEVER shack and play house, he’ll string you along for 8 years and marry the next woman after 9 months!
@@tellnolies8530 damn this is so true
Honestly most men today are not looking for wifes honestly. I feel like it's mostly because of the influence today, and that women give boyfriends husband benefits.
Yesssss! Agreed!
Sexual discipline is also a reason. 95% of the women are giving out WAP and FOMO is real.
Exactly! As one of the TV judges used to say: don't give wife duties at girlfriend prices... in my own life I've seen friends invest so much into a man and get mad when he leaves. when I make investments I'm looking for a return on my investment, but a GF BF relationship ain't one of them by being a wife without being married. Many of us have made mistakes in the relationship area but I have let my mistakes be a wake-up call for me. Time going by too fast to let someone take that much life from you and not invest into you.
Women aren’t to blame. There is only one group of men not marrying in large numbers. No matter how much women in other groups run wild, they still get married.
Those women are always temporary.
“The reason why he won’t marry you,…is because he does not believe you are the one.” TG
Majority of men's jus dnt wnt 2 own up 2 the responsibilities that comes along with marriage. Most men's out here not fit 2 be anyone hubby on providing 4 a family👪Smh
@@innocentlife2346 Truth!
Exactly, this answer sums up the majority of most questions that many women ask TG. She just not the one!
@@shegotstandards
Exactly! Too many of us women stay trying to be the one for the wrong one.
@@innocentlife2346
When you know that, we got to gone about our business.
Just like you don't want to marry everyone, not everyone wants to marry you. Accept it and move on with your life!!
Good point 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
The question is, only because you don't want to marry everyone, does that entitle you to play them in spite of knowing you don't want them?
@@icke11234 no, it's not! But my message is meant for the party that's waiting for something that isn't going to happen.
Tony it's the stone cold truth. He does not think you're the one. He is holding out for somebody he believes might be better. Point blank PeriYOD.
What if he never finds that though? Then what? He ran through plenty of good women just to end up 70 and with no one 🤣. It’s just crazy to me!! But I wish them well. The stats aren’t in women’s favor when it comes to marriage.
Wouldn’t that be cheating though ?
@@shannenluevelle7331 exactly
@@shutit4024 we’re waiting for something that isn’t going to happen 🥺. Well it’ll happen for a small amount of us women ,25 % (black women, I’m black). That’s why sometimes I don’t see the point in the “the one” or marriage conversation because the men aren’t getting married like that. They don’t value marriage like we do lol. But I’ll remain hopeful 🙏🏽.
@@shutit4024 men are time wasters, they don’t care whose time it is lmao!! But yes, I consider that emotional cheating!!
Ladies don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. I’ve had amazing conversations and sexual attraction to dusties/lovebombers who I should NEVER walk down the aisle with! Men know exactly what they want and who they want it with. 💕
Yes ma'am☝☝☝
Well said!
Facts!!
Another reason marriages end after 3+ years of dating, is because the woman goes into the marriage angry and resentful for having had to wait so long.
This is an interesting/unexplored point. I can definitely see that though.
I can see that and I'll add from my personal experience, my ex had put me through a lot of stuff before marriage and before we divorced I was to the point where I just wanted out for good which included resentment, hurt, anger, communication issues due to the past plus the issues that were current at that time. We were together 2years before marriage but broke up for about 4months and then we reunited. However, looking back the smartest move would have been to let bygones be bygones even though we have a son together.
i think this is the case with my sisters friend 18+ years she wasted her whole 20"s now shes 40 ant they engaged and have a date set and church to get married this year.. tbh i think she is doing it so it doesnt look like she waisted her time,,she/he doesnt have any kids so she stuck to her guns with that because they werent married but they dont even look in love or like which is the sad part i do think its the resentment piece in the equation..she wasted her youth with this guy and now hes balding she looks older than her age ..I dont see this lasting 18 years together dating but the outcome might be less than 5 years sadly because everyone sees the red flags but she needs to prove see after all these years we are getting married smh
So true
Amen
He won’t marry you because he doesn’t want you. Women we must accept the truth. When a job doesn’t hire you... usually they will say, you’re not a good fit or we have decided to go with another applicant. In that job situation, you have to accept that job wasn’t for you. If a man doesn’t propose, he isn’t the one. Keep it moving quickly ladies to position yourself for the man that is for you.
So true!
"Keep it moving quickly?"
How?when people love hard they get wounded badly its very difficult to move on even if they wanted to. Shouldnt they heal first or should their new partner help them with that?
@Abc Def yup that means he’s being unfaithful the whole time if he’s acting single
@Abc Def facts!!! Like I said it’s the character of a man is what I believe because I knew a few couples who had sex before marriage, live in the house before marriage, had kids and still gotten married and are married over 25 years ( happily married I add) and you can just see the light in their eyes when they’re around each other, that’s why I call bs when people say oh he won’t marry you because of X,Y and Z but it’s funny cause as soon as he’s done with his “girlfriend” of 10 years he’s marrying another woman with in a year after they already had sex and lived with each other, I find that so strange but I still wouldn’t give a man wife benefits just Incase
It’s not always that simple. Some men just don’t believe in the conceit of marriage or just finds it unnecessary.
" Ladies, date without sex. Therefore, you can discern if he is being led by lust or love."
Amen!
Yes, amen!
Good advice! 👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼
@Luke Austin If he doesn't want marriage, then he doesn't love.
@Luke Austin So, your parents are fornicators. What do you want from me? Hand claps?
You can't make someone want to marry you either. I learned that the hard way. After two years of dating a guy and he still did not want to marry me. I cut him off and stopped seeing him.
Yes amen stop letting them waste your time
Good for you!! You did the right thing!
@@1racethehumanrace946 is 1 yr too long? We are still bonding? Before marriage
Doing too much and treating him like he’s the prize.
Might be hard to hear ladies , but he is 100% on point!
Your absolutely right!! Kelly Ellis.. stay blessed.
I've heard those stories so many times. Couples that have been together for years then get married and divorce a year later. Then there are couples that marry after 6 months and are together for 25 years.
Yep, Blove got married within 9 months and from this day her and her hubby been married over 20 yrs now.
i know someone thats been together 18 years and they 39 and now they are engaged to be married..the man has been cheating and a raging alcoholic for years...Its a bad decision but i think she wants to get married because she wasted all those years tbh thats why people dont last after being together that long
If someone shows you who they are believe them!
I just said this to myself in my recent breakup
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.... TREATING ME, LIKE TRASH.. EMOTIONALLY ABUSING ME... I DESERVE BETTER... THEIRS JUST, SOMETHINGS.. INBEDDED IN PEOPLE'S PERSONALITIES.. THAT YOU CAN'T OR WON'T CHANGE... ON TOP.. I FOUND OUT HE HAS GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM FOR.... YEARS... I THINK I DODGE A BULLET.... ITS SCARY... WHEN THE MASK DROPS... 🎭
💯💯
3 years and still no proposal.. I think I need to make some choices.
You is not the only one run if you wish to
I will be at three years in March. Come January I’m asking for a “break”
13 years for me
Listen to Tony gaskins& old Kevin samuel videos. You will learn about you/relations. In addition, dr. Joe dispenza for spiritual lity of self.....you WILL LEARN OF SELF ❤
It’s a matter of disrespect, especially when they know you want marriage and you’re giving him so much of yourself….your time, your life, your sacrifice, your body. He is disrespecting you and you are allowing the disrespect when he shows you year after year that he does not believe you are the one. 💯
A woman who is doing all you listed, is disrespecting herself. Plain and simple.
It's naive for a woman to give her all to a boyfriend. Foolish. Been there done that.
@@danilaroche1156 same!
Thank you for this because I’m going through the same thing it’s been 8 years and nothing I want more I want to be by myself
@@Notyou382 acknowledging that you deserve more is the 1st step! Date yourself for a while and work on your 3 B’s. You’ll discover a lot about yourself and raise your vibration. Then you’ll be ready for your husband 💕
Tony spitting facts as usual. One thing I will say is DO NOT under any circumstances move in with a man who is not your husband. The amount of stories I have heard, and seen with my own eyes of friends, and friends of friends, where the woman has been living with the boyfriend for years, performing wife duties for him; cleaning, cooking, doing ALL the house work for a grown boy - and still no marriage, or they have broken up. Most of these women also have kids with these men children. And when the topic of marriage is brought up, she's met with 'why should we get married it's like we're already married anyway' and ladies, he's right. Why should he bother marrying you when you already made yourself a wife to him by doing all these wifely duties?
Never underestimate a man's ability to take you for granted and get too comfortable, and moving in with him will do exactly that. If you want marriage, make it clear that if he wants to live together and have children, he must give you marriage first. Don't make the mistake of moving in with him/having kids without that, because NONE of the MANY women I know of that have been living with their bf / have had kids with him for years and years, have gotten married. And it likely will never happen for them. Be smart. Never act like a wife for a man who isn't your husband.
There's someone then there's THE ONE. There's the placeholder, then there's the GAME CHANGER. Men immediately know the difference.
That piece of paper mean something. Look at what just happened to DMX live in girlfriend. She tried to sue to get his net worth and didn't get a dime. She lived with him for almost 10 years and got nothing in return😓
Exactly! Women are always investing deeply and rarely get a return on their investment🤔 this is where women lose when we don't uphold our standard for marriage and just be a live-in girlfriend.( she did everything a wife does and got none of the benefits a wife should have gotten at his death)
List of companies that owe Tony a check 🤣
Folgers ☕️
Little Ceasers 🍕
Arm & Hammer 💪🏾
Apple 🍎
Don’t forget Apple 🍎 Tony STAYS plugging them iPhones 📱
@@ClowneryAtItsFinest Lol right!!
😂😂😂😂😂
Spot on video!!! Either he does not want to get married, or he doesn’t want to marry you. Either way it isn’t good for you. Had to learn that the hard way… don’t waste your time ladies. Life is way tooo short
I know this all to well. I was with a guy over 10 years when I should have left years ago.
Met someone else I’m now engaged we are marrying in October it will be exactly 2years
From Dating, engaged to marrying this October. It don’t take all day to see sunshine men
Know early on if your his wife. Glad I decided to wake up and smell the Folgers 😂🥰❤️
Congratulations! Your story gives me hope!
Gives me hope too
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!
Amen🙏🙌🏽
Congratulations ❤ your story gives me hope that I’ll find someone one day that won’t treat me as a placeholder
After watching your videos, my cousin and friend getting proposed and now engaged under 36 months (dating +not on their back 18-24 months + proposal x planning 12 months weddings are this month), there’s absolutely no reason why four-five years with no solid commitment should happen. Listen to Tony, I know women (examples) who are literally living out his advice and do not know him. It is spot on!
It’s a few content creators on Instagram building a whole brand and been in relationships for 3,4,5 years. I look and say now what if they don’t get married , I know the woman heart will be broken. So sad . I hate to see ppl waste their time
i takes a year or so and a half folks together for a 100 years and not married hes not interested 100.
Momma why daddy won’t marry you lol 😂 Lord forgive me for laughing.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂 right. Even kids know somethin ain't right.
Hahahahaa! Tony and these jokes!
Ladies, if you have to ask the question you already know the answer. Sometimes we just need to hear it from someone else. We have to learn how to love and value ourselves first, so that we don’t let people waste our time. This why I started my TH-cam channel to help women. Thank you Tony for another great video 💕.
This is so true but unfortunately some women will be offended,but it’s the truth!!please don’t waste years on a man who doesn’t intend on marrying you!!Wasted time is worse than wasted money can’t get time back!!!Be blessed❤️
Mr. Tony looked at that window like who trying to get in here? Oh , it’s starting to rain 🌧😆
💀💀💀💀
This is fucking raw he is on something right here. Men know when they meet the wife. Some women just don’t have the skill in the bedroom, the fun personality, the body type, etc. some men won’t marry a woman who has slept with too many people. Young ladies pay attention. If a rich guy comes your way he may choose a lower body count over you. I’ve seen men do that to women. They will marry “her” in a year and forget you! Also this girl with a boyfriend of 5 years watch out he is flirting with other women because he doesn’t love you like you think.
I never understood the whole money issues. I'm assuming people don't realize one can simply go to the court house. If one can't afford a wedding. It's simple, COURT HOUSE.
You know.. I also don't understand that issue
@@amandachiliza7090 🤷🏾♀️
I had a guy use that excuse and wanted to focus on his family and “health”( this is the same man that sleeps with girls unprotected and smokes weed all day but okay )on me but because I wanted a relationship so that was his excuse which was bs but after I started to open my eyes I’m like..why would I want a relationship like this? So I cut him off and later I found out he cheated and beat on his ex I said I’m happy I dogged a bullet.
slaves got married lol...but men and women trick themselves with this quote
I do. Whether people want to admit it or not money is a big deal in marriage. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have their money together because they will only drag me down.
So true Tony. Men go after who and what they want period.
I know a couple who lived together for 5 years until she moved out suddenly in order to get a proposal. He proposed six months later and they are now married 9 years with two babies.
She woke up and realized she was playing house and giving herself to this man who become complacent and comfy to not stepped up to do the upright thing
So she drew that line in that sand and checked this man to either or neither
That's the exception not the rule...don't allow this one fairytale ending help you stay in a dead end relationship without consultation with God because that may have been her husband who was not obeying his spirit or his heart or a man that had another woman and he had to finally make a choice. We also don't know everything that happens here because obviously she will endure years of unhappiness without leaving as shown in her staying 5 years without a ring. Just don't get confused by someone else's situation.
@@itslivenow3079 you're not being mean sweetie most juvenile people that don't know me or have the mental capacity to think of anything else when someone challenges them always goes for looks so it's OK its predictable at best but I don't consider it mean. But to respond to your very narrow minded comment, a lot of women and men that look like me are in happy and productive marriages and didn't have to wait in a dead end relationship for years on end hoping and handing out ultimatums to essentially force the person to marry them or settle for them. I'm not in a relationship of that nature so I really can't relate to what you're speaking of because I don't have to live with someone with the hopes that he will marry me...maybe that is you and your mate's reality 😊
He settled
that’s messed up how she needed to leave in order for him to propose 😒
If he does not believe you're the one why is he wasting his time and the significant other's time, it's really an unfair to the other person who wants to get married when they could be looking in another direction just like them, so they're looking in another direction while you're looking at them.
Convenience
Off subject but i have to testify. Last week, I was going out for a hair cut. Didn't care much about what i was wearing.
Well, as I got closer to the door to leave, I KID YOU NOT❗ I heard in my spirit, with Tony's voice: you ladies going out looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him😳🤣🤣 !! I was like Whaaaaaaaat❓ I knew right away that was the Holy Spirit using Tony.
I immediately decided to wear something nicer and felt like my spirit was lifted. 🥰
Ladies keep listening, you never know when things brother Tony says will apply to your situation.
Brother Tony, May the Lord keep pouring onto you and the Queen🙏🏾
Thank God for this... even women appreciate the beauty of another lady because it's pleasing to the eyes.. all women should see themselves as walking flowers 💐
Before you even start taking a man seriously, you should have the marriage talk. If he's serious about marriage, he'll be open to the conversation.Then you can explore a relationship. If he's acting confused/ aloof & not asking for your hand within the 1.5 to 2 yr mark...It's time to go. Men who want a wife don't waste any time...and they don't want you to get snatched up by someone else either. Atleast that's what I tell myself..lol
wow, I've been single for the last 15 years... this will keep me single. This explains why a lot of cultures do the arranged marriage thing
Stay strong Sis in your singleness , God bless you 🙏💪
@@pamelahartfield7575 It is a curse to marry someone based on scripture. You had better know who you are marrying, church or no church; Bible or no Bible. God has nothing to do with a person's character. I married a man who had a woman committed to him for over 30 years. Everyone knew it, but me. Marriage is up and down - in and out. The happiness comes from two people who want marriage and work on being married. Some women marry because they do not want to fornicate and that is a poor reason to marry. Go to a marriage counselor and do not follow your organs; check his/her credit background, health, past work record, house, car, clothing, shoes and how they upkeep their dwelling. Does he/she drink from the carton and if they do, does it bother you, do they wash their butt, feet, and hands, brush their teeth, and do they gamble, drink and stay out all night. Are they dating other women? Do they belch, fart and are they ethical? A woman should walk into a marriage like Eve did. Everything was already there, in the Garden of Eden, when God joined them together. Church brothers can be very smooth manipulators. Do not be fooled by their representatives. I know numbers of women in the church who have never married or remarried, ain't no sin in being a wise woman. Do your marital homework.
"he got stocks in her company and he can come and cash out anytime"....let that sink in for us! Thank you Tony!
This is soo true ladies , my ex def gave me the finances and the we need to fix these current issues before we take the next step . It’s absolutely BS ladies ! But guess what don’t worry about it . Cut it off and you will get what you deserve !
I'm watching a show online called "put a ring on it" and it made me think of you because these girls are in long term relationships and I can imagine you as a host on the show looking straight at the woman like "gon bout your business!" lol all I can say is Thank you for Tony Gaskins!!!!
Men and women have become way too comfortable playing house and forgetting what God desires for us.
Not to mention, His desires for us if discerned and done correctly is better than our own desires.
Most men are creating their own definition of marriage and many women are taking the bait. A man will give you a baby before he gives you a ring and commitment. I’ve said this before and I must say it again, in order for a woman to know her worth, she has to know God First. Long term dating is distractive, and destructive.
Some people are simply just not meant to be. Time is precious and it’s best to use it wisely. Learn from your mistakes, put God where God belongs (FIRST) and look forward to better things, people, places, and days ahead. 🙏🏽
Men get married when they want to get married. So it’s best to find a man that wants and value marriage and the wait won’t be long at all. He will also let his intentions for you and marriage known very early in the relationship.
Tony spitting straight facts! Long relationships before marriage dont tend to last once they get married! 🤷🏾♀️
ABSOLUTELY TRUE..... ON POINT!! MY SISTERS WORDS... IF THEY GO OUT WITH YOU FOR YEARS... THE MARRAIGE IS GOING TO END MUCH SOONER THEN THE AMOUNT OF YEARS YOU'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM... TRUTH TO BE TOLD.. COLD HARD FACTS.. ❄️💯💯💯
true parents dated for one year and were married for 40 before my mom died...mom her dad never took care of her and my dads parents divorced when he was young so they both didnt want broken home and wanted stability
Not always true! Me and my husband dated 6 years and next month we are celebrating our 20 year anniversary
@Class work that's awesome! Continue being the exception
I feel you, Tony. And I agree. I once asked a man who, at that time, had been with a white woman for 12 years, why he hadn't married her. The gist of his reply was, "I'm good on that." I thought, "wow. That could never be me."
It's cool if a dude doesn't wanna be married. But I'll tell you what, I won't be your permanent girlfriend either. Go find someone else to play house with forever ever after. Bye.
SIS, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED EITHER TO YOU OR ANY WOMAN AT ALL!
Right...some choose to play the game for life
👀 😯🤫
ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM AFTER DATING HIM FOR 3 WEEKS... LOL.. AFTER A MONTH OF DATING HE SAID.. IF YOU EVA SPEAK ABOUT MARRIAGE.. I WILL DISSAPPEAR.. I WAS STUMPED... HE WAS MARRIED FOR 20YRS..DIVORDED NOW FOR 9YRS NOW.... HE DUMPED ME WENT OR TOOK BACK HIS X GF, THAT HE DROPPED 8X..ALREADY...I'M GLAD, I'M OUT OF HIM.. I'M A QUEEN... LADIES... DNT LET ANY GUY TAKE YOU FOR NOTHING.. HE WANTS THE WIFEY... BENEFITS... SERIOUSLY.. NO... 💯💯💯💯💯
That and he may be down low. Red Flags everywhere!
Then they end up old and alone … 😩😩😩🤷🏻♀️
When you’re grown you don’t play games. Either we’re getting married or not. I’m not about to play with no grown man. You know what you want ……. P.s Tony get them flowers for the Queen 😂 she definitely showed you to see lol
I would never wait no more than 3yrs again
😂😂😂😂 "well uh unfortunately I just want to let you know he's not sure about you" 💀 c'mon y’all you want to know the truth or want to be lied to & waste years of your life
You are absolutely right Tony. As painful as it may be it is the truth 💯
Deep down he/she know they don't want to marry you. True. A lot of men don't want to get married cause all the games have to stop. Yep.
Thank you Tony for the truth. Good to hear good to know. May you be blessed!
This was a hard truth Tony but we women really needed to hear 👂 this! I would rather hear this hard truth than be settle for lies. Thank you Tony!
The truth! The truth! Nothing but the truth!! Keep telling it Tony 💪🏾
Tony I wish there was a mentor or mature adult like you in my life back when I was in my twenties. You are speaking nothing but the truth and I really hope all the young ladies out there are taking notes! He is not lying y'all trust and believe!!!
Still no commitment after 5years. Gotta move on. But however that’s the maximum timeline for women. Some men won’t even budge even it hits the 10years mark unless there’s ultimatum. That’s how pathetic some people can be and willing to go through just to wait and wishing for the men to marry em. If its long overdue, just have the closure, cut the ties and move on. Woman we gotta stop being foolish and be so patient for this case.
This was great to hear. 🙏🏾
Thank you! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom with us. God bless you!!!
Knucking until you Bucking!!! Ohhhh Tony, that’s the one right there! This whole word is it!!! ❤️💯❤️
Thanks for your honesty, wish i had listened like 3-4 years ago! Saved myself time! and Your funny! It was very eye-opening to hear it, much appreciated 👏
Thank you for the truth, & the Lord said "ye shall know the truth & the truth shall make you free".💯💯
Whewww chillllleeee👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯🎯!! Tony you were so on point with this video! Which ur always on point with them all but this was soooo true!! I have been in a situationship of that sort where it was the back n forth for years & i allowed it & there was no marriage but i thank God I have let that situationship go as of 2019 & will never again settle for anything less than God’s best for me! Like Tony said, it don’t take them that long to know… some are still together because of soul ties but know your worth & value & know that you deserve better than someone only being with you when its convenient for them, like you’re only a temporary fix. When you know better you will do better💜💜
Tony goes all the way in but from a good place. I appreciate you. 🙏🏾
Listening! Thanks Tony! You have wonderful honest observational skills🙏🏼😁
I hear you. So instead of the guy saying I don’t want to get married to you.. when they realize it.. we just have to put a time limit in our heads and make moves if it doesn’t happen (this is speaking to the relationships that are good, both people are good ppl and enjoy each other). Ultimately, no man is going to cut it off until we do..
Mr. Gaskins, you gave me a hell of a laugh with this video!
Now, I got to accept that you are right on 🎯🎯🎯
Thank you for your advices. 😊
This was so good. We need this truth instead of hopefully hanging on
Recently I googled the term CO-HABITATION (living together). There is a plethora a research done on this topic from different perspectives. Most often the results supported I read were.......
Co-habitation typically does NOT lead to marriage.
If they do get married after co-habitating for 5 plus years then they typically divorce within 7 years.
Since there is no solid commitment to each other, having children is not in the co-habitating plan. Most often the woman is encouraged to use birth control. And other reasons why living with your man might not be the "beneficial testing of the waters" that you thought it would be.
its not benefitical at all ..we got engaged moved in together i got prego and after i had the baby i moved out ..luckily i had the presence of mind to move out many wouldve got married anyway since we filed the papers..my life has actually improved since i left him mental,weight loss and finances ..looking back at my 27 year old self i cant believe I left but seeing how my exes life is now alost 8 years later alcohol addiction ,unstable living and not financially sound i really think he was trying to lock me down because of my resources because when i tell you i dodged a bullet i dodged it .
Yes it’s not meant to last because it’s cheating and going against the natural order of building connection with someone. They get all of the benefits of marriage without marriage? Yes, definitely a scam and 9/10 the man is most likely looking for “the one” while living with the gf.
Thanks for another upload, Tony!
I’m currently listening to “make it work” on audible and it’s the best thing I’ve read in a while. It gives clarity on navigating through relationships.
Thanks for your feedback..I recently heard Tony recommend "Make it Work..I am going to order it NOW!!!⭐
@Pamela Hartfield ...Make it Work is one of Tony Gaskins books.
Happy 4th of July Bro Tony to you and your family God bless you abundantly 🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇸 stay safe.
Thank you Tony for this information💕, and taking the time out on the 4th of July to tell us these golden nuggets❤️
We live in a world where a man will waste years of your time if you let him, so you need to have a timeline and standards to hold on to, not put everything on a platter so that he thinks there's nothing else to work for or earn and you are just happy playing house. Date and be in a relationship with a purpose, save benefits aside that you will only give to a husband and that includes what you do in the bedroom plus cooking and cleaning all day. It might be hard to have invested time and feelings into a relationship for years, but it's even harder to let this keep you unhappy as a forever girlfriend when you know you deserve so much more, so turn that car around and don't keep driving on the same road if you see it's getting you nowhere.
Amen! Why waste years with a man that refuses to make a moral, legal commitment to you? Bump that!😒😒😒
@@elizabethjordan5755 Thank you very much, i agree. He doesn't necessarily have to refuse because it's good for women to have self-love and not ask a man for this or give ultimatums. The simple choice to not take action is "refusal" enough. If he lets time fly by and doesn't think he needs to do anything more to show the place you occupy in his life or secure your relationship, those are signs to start distancing yourself and not wait around. If he really wants you, he will come get you. So always be intentional with dating and your relationship if you want it to get serious, otherwise most men will enjoy a lifetime of laughing, having fun and playing house because they already get all the benefits, so they don't feel the need to do an extra step.
@@CarmenLifeCoach And that's the sad part. Men think they have all the time in the world to goof around with people's lives. After a certain age, it looks quite silly seeing a grown man "play house" when he should be further down the road in life. Other societies value, celebrate and highly support the marriage institution, while many A American men treat it like a joke. If Blk men want to be taken seriously here and internationally, they need to stop using females as sexual target practice and utilize marriage as a vital component for a strong thriving culture.
@@elizabethjordan5755 I hear you, i think it has more to do with the individual's education and mindset, because in every country and race there are bad men but there are also good men and while we cannot change this proportion, we can choose to only be next to a good one and form a healthy family with him. The rest of them who don't believe in marriage can only be changed by women who refuse to give away all the benefits and play house forever.
Thank you Tony. I needed this. I want something different.
I remember watching this video years ago and hearing you say he don’t want you was a gut punch. Now I look back happy I didn’t look back. I’m glad I kept it moving. I’ll never get so low for a man again. Ladies never let a man have so much power over you. We def have to stop putting men on these God like pedestals.
"Dad stop showing out!" 🤣🤣 my fav part of the story
Mr. Tony Gaskins God bless you and your family. Thank you for all of your words and wisdom as well. I wanted ask if you could please make another video explaining what to do when asking a man , “what are we?” As well as what does it mean when he responds in different ways. Please and thank you , God bless you !
Meaning if a man says this or that when answering the “what are we” question.. what do those responses mean and what should be done after he has answered with an i don’t know response.
This so true , I lost my husband because he was cheating with a younger girl. He knew I wanted to be married.
You didn't lose sis.
My prayers go out to you (honestly). The betrayal behind cheating is a death blow. The only thing worse is when the person you love has a baby w/ another.
I have dated men who I slept with because I was so attracted to them, thinking they would marry me. They didn't. And once, I was just friends with a guy who asked me to marry him BECAUSE I didn't sleep with him! I told him I wasn't a virgin; didn't matter. He liked how I behaved with him. I didn't marry him, but it was a life lesson.
The ACTION of making a DECISION to commit. We make a decision to make a commitment to a job, buying a car, buying a house in a split second. Make a DECISION about your relationship.
Happy 4th of July to you, your family and the bless tribe.
So much truth in this video👏🏽👏🏽💎💎
This is absolutely true I was in one 13 yrs I was young but then repeated and my last one 7 yrs I do wish I had walked away both times because like you said building with someone, helping them with goals and kids and then not be together in unity…
And once he knows you’re the one. Now let’s dig deeper and see what that means to him. I know a guy who married his wife because he though she was the one. Yeah, the one who would pay all his bills and the one who he knew would never leave no matter how many times he cheated.
You got that right. I turned down 3 proposals before I met my husband. God showed me they were not for me. They KNEW I was wife type and I was dating to marry so they had to come correct. However after prayer and fasting God revealed their true intentions. For vArious reasons those relationships had to end.
So I had to decline and move on. It was TOUGH to do it but I knew the day I met my husband why it would have never worked with any of my ex fiancés. The difference was night and day.
Happy fourth, y'all!
This was exactly my case with ex of 3 years. He said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. Then he said he wanted an open relationship, I was like nope thanks. Selfish of a man.
Real talk Tony 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
This hit hard 😞 I know what I need to do. I have been with my bf for 7 years and I want to get married and the second reason you talked is what I always hear. I think I just have to pull the plug here cus I think he is afraid to do it. I love and care for him but I can’t keep being with someone that gives me lame ass excuses and there is nothing wrong to start over either. I have been with him since I was 19 and I’m 28 now. Yeah we long distance for 4 years but now living here for the past two years I haven’t seen any change and I don’t like how I am changing either. I want to feel peace in my heart and start over.
I'm praying for you, you are beautiful
@@alanamcmillian5810 thank you 🙏🏼
Wow you’re still young baby girl. I’m 37 and I can tell you for sure please don’t EVER give another man more than 2 years of your life without any real commitment. You were with him young so I understand why you stayed but it’s time for new beginnings for you. Good luck 🍀
Mine was 5.5 years. And I just left. So hard.
Pastor I love the truth you're speaking.
Bless yo heart Tony... apparently they didn’t see your video “He don’t want you”... point blank period... HE DON’T WANT YOU!!!
I’m so sorry you have to continue to REPEAT yourself! DAMN 🤦🏾♀️
Year 5 or 6!! Wow. God bless those womens hearts.
That is me. I am that woman. Just left
Tony getting ready to help somebody with this video 🙏🏾💜👑
The excuses. I hate it! You girls better get smart and not let these men waste your time.
Hey Tony and blessed tribe! Happy Independence Day!
I got married at age 36 to a man I dated for 18 months. It was his first marriage too and he was also 36. We divorced 3 years later. He actually was the only man that did not hesitate to marry me. I truly believe he married me mainly because i was a MAJOR upgrade from his previous relationship. Lots of hard lessons learned, but I was intent on getting married!
Lesson learned
Why did you divorce if you dont mind sharing?
@@ARS-fn6px honestly he had an alcohol addiction that got worse and unbearable the last year of marriage He refused to get help. (I would have supported his recovery)I had two teenagers that were not his and he had a teenager too. He blamed his drinking on them and was verbally abusive towards the kids!
He drank when I met him, but that wasnt a dealbreaker for me because he didn’t start acting crazy until after marriage.
Every woman swears they are an upgrade lmao yall are not better than one another. If u were u would have the most top notch guy in the world.
@@scottlaflame9857 interesting comment. Have a blessed day.
As usual, beautifully said!
"I ain't showing out- that's just me.' I LOVE IT!!😎
I love the dramatic pauses and side eye looks!! too funny😆😆😆😆
Me & Travis Barker in two different tax brackets 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for going easy on us in this video Bro Tony!😆😆😆
Its amazing how God made you to help us understand marriage coming from a good marriage, because people like me think if its the right one its gone be perfect, but Im hearing that it wont be perfect, just two people who choose to both try..that choose each other☺️💯
Hi Tony
Your content is 🔥🔥🔥🔥😁
I’m soo glad Jesus Christ lead me to you
because I’m fresh out of 2- long relationship and don’t know the 1st thing about dating.GOD Bless You and protect you from the evil one and his demons.
Oh, I’m 55, I need some advice on this,
Thank You 😊 🙏🏽
Tony also has a video about dating after 50 or 60 scroll and you should find it.
@@Glamrocs thank You 😊
Spin,
1 thing for certain 2 thing for sure, man either serious or he playing. Us women create too many details when it’s quite simple. Look @ it from the outside looking in maybe his only purpose is to help elevate you to the next level. Most mindset are moving according to social constructs.
Most men know what they want! If he is not mature for a marriage but just want sex and just hanging out let him go!! My husband and I dated for 1 year and got married going on 18 years!!! It’s has not been easy but God kept us together and it has worked out!!!