Certainly enough, I am in a rut, where I feel loss of autonomy (loss of control over my tasks). But I am working on it, got to walk a lot today into a new neighborhood, which I think will heal my rut. So, I think, you can take a break (for a short evening, do something new), and set to work out a new plan. Be calm and get going. Paraphrasing Einstein- life, or a grad school in your case, is like a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep going. But sometimes, one need to take a break, get off the bicycle, not fall, and see around and figure out if you are going in the right direction.
I feel you, Alex. I had a breakdown in the beginning of this semester, so much anxiety and stress that my stomach went to shit, I couldn't eat or sleep and had episodes of panic, lost 3 kg in less than a week and my sight worsened somewhat. I ended up stopping it this semester to put my thoughts into place and take care of my health. So hang in there and don't push yourself too much, it's easy to get overwhelmed in these fields.
This is really familiar. I always planned everything during my PhD and it pretty much never worked out. The experimental equipment failed, the experiments failed, analysis took too long, others couldn't help when I needed them etc. I had a course called research planning during which we had to make a plan for our entire PhD period. The short term plan was pretty detailed and the long term one was basically just milestones. It helped but even the professor said that planning is very good but don't expect the plan to ever really work the way you wrote it down. Research is full of surprises because ideally, you are doing things no-one has ever done before. Not that way anyway... So just plan and replan. And understand that everything takes longer than you wish.
I am definitely in the 'plan fails -> freak out' category too! I try and aggressively attack the problem, as much as I can. Even if there's not a lot I can do, it takes my mind off the setback and makes me fell like I'm still achieving something! Even if that something is just damage limitation. It's like the whole 'action alleviates anxiety' approach. Doesn't always pull me out of the nosedive into misery but it helps most of the time!
Make a plan, but without a time scale. This tends to only work with something without a hard deadline. Otherwise, you still have to tackle it one step at at time. When planning stuff out/pipelining, try to make it so stuff can be parallelized (if at all possible). That way, if step 1 can't be done, you may be able to start with step 5. Though, this can only be done if your experiment is set up that way... For example, take the results from step X and step Y and perform Z on them. In which case, it doesn't matter if X happens before Y, but they both need to be done, so if you can't do X, do Y. For example, you said you have to present this data somewhere. Prepare what you plan to say (either on paper or mentally) so you at least have that out of the way after the results come in. What will you do if the results aren't as you expect them? What if they are? However, other times, you just have to wait it out. No matter how hard or unproductive it feels, that is sometimes the only solution. I've had a professor ask me, "how do you do bioinformatics when the internet is down," and I reply, "you don't." Finally, make a plan A, but expect to do plan Z at any moment (even if plan Z is to just wait it out until plan A, B, or C can be done). Really though, plan Z can be as simple as finding some papers (related, or not) to read.
That you do what you do and still do it right says a ton. I'm glad you took the time to make this, and I'm starting to like the videos where you just explain what went wrong or "why not", too. Just don't forget you mentioned it here, I mean if you get the chance to actually do the experiment - at least let your TH-cam viewers know how it went!
Exercise can be a good way to get out the frustrations. Taking a good run somehow helps. You are in a phase where you need to think these thoughts over again and over again. Once they are done you begin to make a new plan. Experience don't come cheap and don't mean that you don't make mistakes. We all do
Totally reminds me of the quote: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans" I think few people deal well with plans that fall apart likes yours do, I am certainly no exception to this, however 5+ years of project management has taught me to make sure I plan in some wiggle room into timelines. Think part A will be in on Tuesday, well then plan for it to be in Thursday; if part A affects any other parts of the plan, then maybe add another day to be safe. Sounds easy enough, but its a hard lesson to learn, and shit will hit the fan more than a few times till you have it down.
You are better off making a plan that falls apart than if you had no real plan at all. Your next plan will build on the first and you will be closer to your goal than on the first one. It does get frustrating, esp when you are on the 5th or 6th time
I just stumbled upon your video....this is how I've been feeling about too many experiments for the past couple of months. It's good to know other grad students feel this way to (even though that doesn't really help anything). Thanks for making this video, it's good to know we're not alone.
My friend recommended me to watch this video because she thought it resembles what I have just experienced. And yes, hahaha, honestly, I messed up my plans, not once, but... I don't know, twice, thrice? I thought everything was perfect but... yeah... things 'happened'. But then again, every mess gave me insight to be better planner. Sure it is not recommended to mess things over and over, and I do try my best not to mess my plans up, but without mess, we won't grow. I think you do the right thing, picking yourself up and make a new plan. Sure it is frustrating. But hey, trust me, nothing is wasted. One day you'll look back and feel proud of yourself for not giving up. Cheers!
That sucks, Dr. Bonnie Bassler (Princeton) had a similar experience, she had a plan, and then went to a medical conference during grad school (she was told to go, didn't want to) where Dr. Silverman gave a talk and bam, she ends up his postdoc and goes from a bacteriologist to well renowned leading geneticist. It's definitely part of grad school, I think they should put it on those scientific process posters. Thanks for the video
It recently turned out that an experiment we actually had published may not have been what we claimed it to be. The professor freaked out. I was the one saying "Calm down, it's not that bad, everyone makes mistakes, it's just that ours made it all the way into a journal." So as far as freaking out is concerned - it's a personality thing. You can work on it but... yeah. And as far as planning is concerned... I suck. I should've had that PhD diploma by now, instead it'll be early next year (fingers crossed nothing goes against the plan :) )
I know it probably feels like you let it get to you way too much, but I have to say, being in the more objective mind-set with a new plan set out (and acted on by organising with others when to do the experiments) within only a few days is really impressive. I'm usually knocked back for at least a week when that kind of momentous crescendo of scientific planning is thrown up in the air.
Logistics, the bane of progress. And the only way to do anything. Definitely a "can't live with/can't live without" issue. These sorts of issues are honestly one of the reasons I have turned myself away from wet-lab research and more towards direct science education. Still, best wishes on your research. I hope you can get everything working properly!
When I plan I always have contingencies and at least 2 back up plans for when something doesn't go right. When finances are involved I always allocate more than what I know will be needed. The same goes with time, always add 15 more min for every hour necessary. I do this in everyday life too; giving myself extra time to get to work, preparing to spend more on bills than i know I'll need to, etc..
Sorry to hear the bad time you have had. I was always bad for putting off experiments in the wetlab. I would tell myself it was so I could plan so it would go right the first time. Problem was, I always delayed them so much that it would have been quicker to have failed the first time and redone it once or twice. But it is awful when plans failed. i remember first year of my project having contamination of my engineered moss on selection plates. A lot of work had gone into making them and weeks of waiting. I had planned for this to work, then to do X and then Y and then get a paper out within a year. Very Naive. I ending up tearing up at my bench. I then changed. My new approach was to plan but never be rigid it assume the plan would work. That helped a lot. PS I also decided to never want a result for a conference, as that would damn it to never arriving in time. Plus the audience never cares as much about having result X in your presentation. On the off chance someone does, you can just say, "great question, the experiment is underway".
My only advice would be, get used to the fact that shit happens. Shit. Happens. All the time. Learning to roll with it is an acquired skill, but the biggest thing that can help is keeping your emotions and anxiety in check. It can be hard when things really start falling apart but always remember that freaking-out isn't productive, and won't help the situation get any better. If you have a problem and can do something about it, do it, no need to worry. If there is nothing you can do and you are stuffed, then don't worry about it, because it's out of your hands. That kind of attitude taken to a sufficient level of competency might even let you enjoy the new experience of falling out of the sky if your plane is crashing; ya never know. I've found it certainly works for me with more mundane, less life-threatening issues. (But I'm a pleb and used to working in high-stress work environments.)
There's this comedian (Bill Burr I think) who described it as this. When you get older, at some point you just start thinking, "You know, fuck it. I'm just going to say it and see what happens." In essence, you just stop caring so much when you get older. You'll get there.
No plan survives contact with the real world, but most plans are salvageable. It can be a heartbreaking when large plans fall apart but there will come a point in time when it will become second nature for you to moving things around and reschedule. Never think "if only I/they had done this", we are only human and shit happens. It never gets better blaming someone or something. We are all doing the best we can, as long as we learn something new from the things that go wrong we can count them as wins!
There's an appropriately named Irish bar near my apartment called Murphy's Law that I like to visit when my meticulously thought out plans got to sh*t. Hopefully you were at least able to do something fun over the holiday weekend.
d'oh! Yeah, this happens, ALL THE TIME, to the smartest people in the world. How you handle, cope, and overcome these situations helps you BE one of those people! Go forth and do the great science that we all know you can do!
This may be seen as rather trite, but when things go wrong in my life, I say to myself "how often has that happened." I try to put things into perspective. The above may seem like a platitude, and I am not talking about major tragedies but for the small stuff it works for me.
If I had a nickel for all the times I had to plan, conduct, scrap, and then re-do experiments or analyses in graduate school because of something small I overlooked, I would be a VERY rich woman.... I don't have advice for this other than to say you're not alone. It sucks, it's annoying, and it's also a fundamental part of graduate school. And it's okay to feel frustrated, annoyed and let down. That means you're passionate and care about what you're doing, which is not a bad thing. :) Hang in there!
start with the worst plan that you can accept, then make the plan you want to happen, after that make a middle of the road plan it's not the best but way better than the worst. When the perfect plan is destroyed because it will be you then look and see if what ever destroyed it pushed you back to the mid or worst plan. often it's not even so bad as to get to the mid plan but you know something else will crop up and deter you and derail your plan yet further, but because you have made the other two plans you can usually calmly assess the situation. If it gets so bad as to go beond the worst plan than that is the time to cut your losses and move on to something else your plan just was not up to dealing with the uncertainty of the universe but that's ok too because that was the purpose of the worst plan to let you know that you need more "time, money, and or resources" in order to get it done.
That feeling is so terrible, when you have a perfect plan and almost nothing works out. I always end up laughing when that starts to happen. It's kind of funny to me when I have worked out every minute detail and systematically every single one fails. I didn't create a very good plan, but I made a perfect anti-plan!
What do I do? I do a lot of what you are already saying. I freak out, try to pull the plan together, and if that fails, somberly admit defeat and replan. Then, I figure out what on my agenda can be done with the time I would have been using on said failed plan. And, if there's nothing because it's a holiday weekend and my personal life is caught up, then it's time to blow off steam. Which means either actually visiting the steam website, or going to the beach, or out into the woods. In these breaks into nature my mind and body "resets" and, when I come out of it, somehow I'm better prepared for the things I was struggling with. Hey, that's an idea for a video, if you haven't done it. I know the resting (possibly dreaming) brain actually figures out how you will deal with problems, and helps you become better at tasks. But how does that actually work?
That blows.. It's hard to have so many moving parts to keep track of. Being paranoid about every detail and assumption helps to a point. Having a plan is better than no plan. At least when something doesn't work out you have some thing to improvise with. Good luck with the next try.
Oh my god, I don't do anything else, but replan the previously replanned plan...I can feel like all of my grad school is nothing but replanning...and I love to plan! But clearly I need to learn that there is always something unexpected happens, and you start all over again. And I don't do experiments in the lab, I do my research on field with animals. Beleive me the animals are the most reliable part of the picture :)
Did you actually lose control, like in screaming and shouting? Because that's what I'd feel like in a situation like this, but then it would be totally inappropriate to just go outside and scream and cry or something like that, or even shout at innocent people who were trying to help you with your plans. Which is why I never plan too exactly, so I always keep a door in my mind open so that it could all turn out different. Of course, a tight schedule isn't helping, and neither is procrastinating (those two are actually something like matter and antimatter). So I try to avoid either, or at least, when one can't be avoided, definitely avoid the other. And, very important: After the emotional outburst of "OH NO!!!", don't latch on to that emotion. Immediately step back from that emotion, cool back down, get your distance from that emotion (you could even try to observe it how it feels in order to get your distance - or do whatever works for you, imagine you're a rock in the wild ocean, an old oak tree in a storm or anything you like), because from within that emotion you are completely paralyzed in terms of adapting your plan to the changed circumstances. And only when that has passed, you will be able to say "OK, it's delayed, but it will still be fine".
Well, I wait until I calm down, and then I start making new plans. Its time consuming, but then it helps me from not doing anything stupid when I'm panicked.
could you maybe after your Conference show some of your actual data or experiments? whenever i watch one of your videos i try do pick up on clues on the actual research you do but i cant figure it out :D and since after the conference your data is already out there, you might as well share it with us
Okay, Alex!... 1) NEVER entertain the notion that you can get an important thing done in the two-week span surrounding a calendar holiday! No matter how focused you are... all the other people, and businesses, and services, will fuck you over. 2) The only solution to Rule 1, is to put it out there, to everybody, that you're really cool with working holidays (i.e. covering for everybody who wants holidays off). Do this, and you become a golden child that everybody will bend over backward to accommodate, leading up to the holiday in question.
Alex its all going to be okay, you still have the plan or at least the framework for it, now you got to have an actual weekend. But always remember when you are about to embark on a research project: Murphy is your enemy and few plans survive contact with the enemy. Worst comes to worst you don't have a conference presentation its not exactly a career ender.
Oh and when it comes time to deal with Murphy ruining your plans sometimes you just go home fix a cup of tea order some take out and relax until you can fix it.
The same thing happend to me a while ago. It is espacially stressful when equipment doesn't work or is not available even if it was supposed to. Maybe you're already doing this but what worked for me in the end was to include a week or two of buffer time in my plans from the get go that is reserved for "nothing". So I know I still have time left if something unexpected comes up along the way. I still don't finish the experiments as fast as I wish to, but it helps to de-stress a lot. And sometimes you might end up finishing earlier then the end of the buffer time period. :) And lastly, try to be lenient with yourself. Mistakes happen and they make you grow (When I blame myself for everything going wrong I usually remind myself of that by listening to the "It's okay to make mistakes song", haha - th-cam.com/video/twCANhezR10/w-d-xo.html).
Well Im kinda the improvising guy... So i know what i want to do, and what i need, and also i do a little preparation, but in the end i just start and let it roll. If I have a setback or something didn't work i will first try to set up new schedules if i need something from anybody (but most of the time i come to people with a time window which is even big enough to allow some setback ^^) If some one asks "how long do you need this" just say: " a month?" you'll see if they are okay with that xD People at my Campus are very helpful to each other even from Prof to Student. Soo if all fails and my NEW time window can not be made: Thats when i freak out. Minor setback by three days? Well time to go to the movies! XD
Nobody is perfect, sh*t happens, Assumption is the mother of all f*ckups, and Murphy I know the feeling all too well, but the only way I found to deal with it is to just accept that these things happen. No amount of planning can stop Murphy. Especially if your plan involves many tools, materials or people, as the number of requirements grows, so does the chance that some of them will fail. That said: never assume that something will be there, check that it is there when you still have enough time to get it if it's not. If there is "enough" there, reserve it. Stick a label on it and kill those who try to touch it. And if your plan begins to fall apart: just stop. Simply stop. Sit down, have a coffee, and and evaluate. What's exactly are the problems, and can you REASONABLY fix them? If you can, then go fix them! If you cannot, then it's a sad but inevitable case of Murphy. And it won't be the last either. It happens to everybody. The only thing you can do is try again and this time, double check the things that went wrong last time. PS: Still love your videos! Keep doing science, and kick Murphy's butt for me!
No guts no glory. Star Wars "Stay on target". Fall back, Regroup, attack! Fantasy world imaginary works wonders for me, problem is I daydream too much.
*And there are even people who have a plan C, D, E, F and G and if everything fails even more letters from the alphabet...* Software engineers do that constantly, for life-critical systems. Nuclear power plants, train control systems, aircraft, medical equipment. There's backups for the backups for the backups. :p
With backups that's kind of easy since storage is rather cheap and plan B is really just plan A once removed. Life isn't always as straight forward and your plans could look very different from each other.
Kram1032 Ah, but I'm not talking storage. Most of those systems I described are triplex, at a minimum. Meaning all the work is always done three times by separate computers. If one conflicts but two agree, you take the two that agree. And then after that you probably have another slightly older system that you can fall-back on in case _that_ fails. And so on. Lots of duplication of effort but it works.
Hehe.. welcome to science! You will keep it in mind next time.. and next time.. and next time.. until you are sure that you got rid of all possible assumptions and human errors Which is never, btw
You need a boyfriend. Not one who takes all of your time, but it helps to have someone to relax with, and whom you could have spent the holiday weekend with.
Or just listen to music, take a walk, etc. Usually, doing a different task can give you an idea of how to deal with your current situation. Kind of like how that one kid beat that chess master by pausing and going to other tables and watching them play, and then returning. Really, what you do depends on, well, you. On your point though, just being with family or friends can alleviate stress. Getting a boyfriend *just* to reduce stress in itself seems kind of wrong but what do I know.
Exercise can be a good way to get out the frustrations. Taking a good run somehow helps. You are in a phase where you need to think these thoughts over again and over again. Once they are done you begin to make a new plan. Experience don't come cheap and don't mean that you don't make mistakes. We all do
Exercise can be a good way to get out the frustrations. Taking a good run somehow helps. You are in a phase where you need to think these thoughts over again and over again. Once they are done you begin to make a new plan. Experience don't come cheap and don't mean that you don't make mistakes. We all do
Certainly enough, I am in a rut, where I feel loss of autonomy (loss of control over my tasks). But I am working on it, got to walk a lot today into a new neighborhood, which I think will heal my rut. So, I think, you can take a break (for a short evening, do something new), and set to work out a new plan.
Be calm and get going.
Paraphrasing Einstein- life, or a grad school in your case, is like a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep going.
But sometimes, one need to take a break, get off the bicycle, not fall, and see around and figure out if you are going in the right direction.
I feel you, Alex. I had a breakdown in the beginning of this semester, so much anxiety and stress that my stomach went to shit, I couldn't eat or sleep and had episodes of panic, lost 3 kg in less than a week and my sight worsened somewhat. I ended up stopping it this semester to put my thoughts into place and take care of my health. So hang in there and don't push yourself too much, it's easy to get overwhelmed in these fields.
This is really familiar. I always planned everything during my PhD and it pretty much never worked out. The experimental equipment failed, the experiments failed, analysis took too long, others couldn't help when I needed them etc. I had a course called research planning during which we had to make a plan for our entire PhD period. The short term plan was pretty detailed and the long term one was basically just milestones. It helped but even the professor said that planning is very good but don't expect the plan to ever really work the way you wrote it down. Research is full of surprises because ideally, you are doing things no-one has ever done before. Not that way anyway... So just plan and replan. And understand that everything takes longer than you wish.
I am definitely in the 'plan fails -> freak out' category too! I try and aggressively attack the problem, as much as I can. Even if there's not a lot I can do, it takes my mind off the setback and makes me fell like I'm still achieving something! Even if that something is just damage limitation. It's like the whole 'action alleviates anxiety' approach. Doesn't always pull me out of the nosedive into misery but it helps most of the time!
I hope the making of this video post is sufficiently cathartic.
+MJ NYC It was, actually!
Make a plan, but without a time scale. This tends to only work with something without a hard deadline. Otherwise, you still have to tackle it one step at at time.
When planning stuff out/pipelining, try to make it so stuff can be parallelized (if at all possible). That way, if step 1 can't be done, you may be able to start with step 5. Though, this can only be done if your experiment is set up that way... For example, take the results from step X and step Y and perform Z on them. In which case, it doesn't matter if X happens before Y, but they both need to be done, so if you can't do X, do Y.
For example, you said you have to present this data somewhere. Prepare what you plan to say (either on paper or mentally) so you at least have that out of the way after the results come in. What will you do if the results aren't as you expect them? What if they are?
However, other times, you just have to wait it out. No matter how hard or unproductive it feels, that is sometimes the only solution. I've had a professor ask me, "how do you do bioinformatics when the internet is down," and I reply, "you don't."
Finally, make a plan A, but expect to do plan Z at any moment (even if plan Z is to just wait it out until plan A, B, or C can be done). Really though, plan Z can be as simple as finding some papers (related, or not) to read.
That you do what you do and still do it right says a ton. I'm glad you took the time to make this, and I'm starting to like the videos where you just explain what went wrong or "why not", too. Just don't forget you mentioned it here, I mean if you get the chance to actually do the experiment - at least let your TH-cam viewers know how it went!
Exercise can be a good way to get out the frustrations. Taking a good run somehow helps. You are in a phase where you need to think these thoughts over again and over again. Once they are done you begin to make a new plan. Experience don't come cheap and don't mean that you don't make mistakes. We all do
Totally reminds me of the quote: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"
I think few people deal well with plans that fall apart likes yours do, I am certainly no exception to this, however 5+ years of project management has taught me to make sure I plan in some wiggle room into timelines. Think part A will be in on Tuesday, well then plan for it to be in Thursday; if part A affects any other parts of the plan, then maybe add another day to be safe.
Sounds easy enough, but its a hard lesson to learn, and shit will hit the fan more than a few times till you have it down.
You are better off making a plan that falls apart than if you had no real plan at all. Your next plan will build on the first and you will be closer to your goal than on the first one. It does get frustrating, esp when you are on the 5th or 6th time
I just stumbled upon your video....this is how I've been feeling about too many experiments for the past couple of months. It's good to know other grad students feel this way to (even though that doesn't really help anything). Thanks for making this video, it's good to know we're not alone.
My friend recommended me to watch this video because she thought it resembles what I have just experienced. And yes, hahaha, honestly, I messed up my plans, not once, but... I don't know, twice, thrice? I thought everything was perfect but... yeah... things 'happened'. But then again, every mess gave me insight to be better planner. Sure it is not recommended to mess things over and over, and I do try my best not to mess my plans up, but without mess, we won't grow. I think you do the right thing, picking yourself up and make a new plan. Sure it is frustrating. But hey, trust me, nothing is wasted. One day you'll look back and feel proud of yourself for not giving up. Cheers!
That sucks, Dr. Bonnie Bassler (Princeton) had a similar experience, she had a plan, and then went to a medical conference during grad school (she was told to go, didn't want to) where Dr. Silverman gave a talk and bam, she ends up his postdoc and goes from a bacteriologist to well renowned leading geneticist. It's definitely part of grad school, I think they should put it on those scientific process posters. Thanks for the video
It recently turned out that an experiment we actually had published may not have been what we claimed it to be. The professor freaked out. I was the one saying "Calm down, it's not that bad, everyone makes mistakes, it's just that ours made it all the way into a journal." So as far as freaking out is concerned - it's a personality thing. You can work on it but... yeah.
And as far as planning is concerned... I suck. I should've had that PhD diploma by now, instead it'll be early next year (fingers crossed nothing goes against the plan :) )
Did you get the PhD?
I know it probably feels like you let it get to you way too much, but I have to say, being in the more objective mind-set with a new plan set out (and acted on by organising with others when to do the experiments) within only a few days is really impressive. I'm usually knocked back for at least a week when that kind of momentous crescendo of scientific planning is thrown up in the air.
Logistics, the bane of progress. And the only way to do anything. Definitely a "can't live with/can't live without" issue. These sorts of issues are honestly one of the reasons I have turned myself away from wet-lab research and more towards direct science education. Still, best wishes on your research. I hope you can get everything working properly!
When I plan I always have contingencies and at least 2 back up plans for when something doesn't go right. When finances are involved I always allocate more than what I know will be needed. The same goes with time, always add 15 more min for every hour necessary. I do this in everyday life too; giving myself extra time to get to work, preparing to spend more on bills than i know I'll need to, etc..
Sorry to hear the bad time you have had. I was always bad for putting off experiments in the wetlab. I would tell myself it was so I could plan so it would go right the first time. Problem was, I always delayed them so much that it would have been quicker to have failed the first time and redone it once or twice.
But it is awful when plans failed. i remember first year of my project having contamination of my engineered moss on selection plates. A lot of work had gone into making them and weeks of waiting. I had planned for this to work, then to do X and then Y and then get a paper out within a year. Very Naive. I ending up tearing up at my bench. I then changed. My new approach was to plan but never be rigid it assume the plan would work. That helped a lot.
PS I also decided to never want a result for a conference, as that would damn it to never arriving in time. Plus the audience never cares as much about having result X in your presentation. On the off chance someone does, you can just say, "great question, the experiment is underway".
My only advice would be, get used to the fact that shit happens.
Shit. Happens. All the time. Learning to roll with it is an acquired skill, but the biggest thing that can help is keeping your emotions and anxiety in check. It can be hard when things really start falling apart but always remember that freaking-out isn't productive, and won't help the situation get any better.
If you have a problem and can do something about it, do it, no need to worry. If there is nothing you can do and you are stuffed, then don't worry about it, because it's out of your hands. That kind of attitude taken to a sufficient level of competency might even let you enjoy the new experience of falling out of the sky if your plane is crashing; ya never know. I've found it certainly works for me with more mundane, less life-threatening issues. (But I'm a pleb and used to working in high-stress work environments.)
“No Battle Plan Survives Contact With the Enemy”
There's this comedian (Bill Burr I think) who described it as this. When you get older, at some point you just start thinking, "You know, fuck it. I'm just going to say it and see what happens."
In essence, you just stop caring so much when you get older. You'll get there.
No plan survives contact with the real world, but most plans are salvageable.
It can be a heartbreaking when large plans fall apart but there will come a point in time when it will become second nature for you to moving things around and reschedule.
Never think "if only I/they had done this", we are only human and shit happens.
It never gets better blaming someone or something.
We are all doing the best we can, as long as we learn something new from the things that go wrong we can count them as wins!
Just keep at it! you're actually doing something for the good of humanity, unlike others.
I do a similar thing to you, but it's often a whole day that I lose...and there's more frustration and self loathing.
There's an appropriately named Irish bar near my apartment called Murphy's Law that I like to visit when my meticulously thought out plans got to sh*t. Hopefully you were at least able to do something fun over the holiday weekend.
d'oh! Yeah, this happens, ALL THE TIME, to the smartest people in the world. How you handle, cope, and overcome these situations helps you BE one of those people! Go forth and do the great science that we all know you can do!
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this! I hoped this video gave you a release!
This may be seen as rather trite, but when things go wrong in my life, I say to myself "how often has that happened." I try to put things into perspective. The above may seem like a platitude, and I am not talking about major tragedies but for the small stuff it works for me.
If I had a nickel for all the times I had to plan, conduct, scrap, and then re-do experiments or analyses in graduate school because of something small I overlooked, I would be a VERY rich woman....
I don't have advice for this other than to say you're not alone. It sucks, it's annoying, and it's also a fundamental part of graduate school. And it's okay to feel frustrated, annoyed and let down. That means you're passionate and care about what you're doing, which is not a bad thing. :)
Hang in there!
start with the worst plan that you can accept, then make the plan you want to happen, after that make a middle of the road plan it's not the best but way better than the worst. When the perfect plan is destroyed because it will be you then look and see if what ever destroyed it pushed you back to the mid or worst plan. often it's not even so bad as to get to the mid plan but you know something else will crop up and deter you and derail your plan yet further, but because you have made the other two plans you can usually calmly assess the situation. If it gets so bad as to go beond the worst plan than that is the time to cut your losses and move on to something else your plan just was not up to dealing with the uncertainty of the universe but that's ok too because that was the purpose of the worst plan to let you know that you need more "time, money, and or resources" in order to get it done.
That feeling is so terrible, when you have a perfect plan and almost nothing works out. I always end up laughing when that starts to happen. It's kind of funny to me when I have worked out every minute detail and systematically every single one fails. I didn't create a very good plan, but I made a perfect anti-plan!
Hahaha, I like this. I'll just start calling it my anti-plan from now on!
What do I do? I do a lot of what you are already saying. I freak out, try to pull the plan together, and if that fails, somberly admit defeat and replan. Then, I figure out what on my agenda can be done with the time I would have been using on said failed plan. And, if there's nothing because it's a holiday weekend and my personal life is caught up, then it's time to blow off steam. Which means either actually visiting the steam website, or going to the beach, or out into the woods. In these breaks into nature my mind and body "resets" and, when I come out of it, somehow I'm better prepared for the things I was struggling with.
Hey, that's an idea for a video, if you haven't done it. I know the resting (possibly dreaming) brain actually figures out how you will deal with problems, and helps you become better at tasks. But how does that actually work?
contingency plans! you've just had the valuable learning experience of another contingency situation to keep in mine for future plans.
Well, I can't do much from here, but at least I'll send you some happy thoughts! ^_^
That blows.. It's hard to have so many moving parts to keep track of. Being paranoid about every detail and assumption helps to a point. Having a plan is better than no plan. At least when something doesn't work out you have some thing to improvise with. Good luck with the next try.
Oh my god, I don't do anything else, but replan the previously replanned plan...I can feel like all of my grad school is nothing but replanning...and I love to plan! But clearly I need to learn that there is always something unexpected happens, and you start all over again. And I don't do experiments in the lab, I do my research on field with animals. Beleive me the animals are the most reliable part of the picture :)
Did you actually lose control, like in screaming and shouting? Because that's what I'd feel like in a situation like this, but then it would be totally inappropriate to just go outside and scream and cry or something like that, or even shout at innocent people who were trying to help you with your plans. Which is why I never plan too exactly, so I always keep a door in my mind open so that it could all turn out different. Of course, a tight schedule isn't helping, and neither is procrastinating (those two are actually something like matter and antimatter). So I try to avoid either, or at least, when one can't be avoided, definitely avoid the other. And, very important: After the emotional outburst of "OH NO!!!", don't latch on to that emotion. Immediately step back from that emotion, cool back down, get your distance from that emotion (you could even try to observe it how it feels in order to get your distance - or do whatever works for you, imagine you're a rock in the wild ocean, an old oak tree in a storm or anything you like), because from within that emotion you are completely paralyzed in terms of adapting your plan to the changed circumstances. And only when that has passed, you will be able to say "OK, it's delayed, but it will still be fine".
Well, I wait until I calm down, and then I start making new plans. Its time consuming, but then it helps me from not doing anything stupid when I'm panicked.
I work as an electronics design engineer and often things go like this too.
could you maybe after your Conference show some of your actual data or experiments? whenever i watch one of your videos i try do pick up on clues on the actual research you do but i cant figure it out :D and since after the conference your data is already out there, you might as well share it with us
Okay, Alex!...
1) NEVER entertain the notion that you can get an important thing done in the two-week span surrounding a calendar holiday!
No matter how focused you are... all the other people, and businesses, and services, will fuck you over.
2) The only solution to Rule 1, is to put it out there, to everybody, that you're really cool with working holidays (i.e. covering for everybody who wants holidays off). Do this, and you become a golden child that everybody will bend over backward to accommodate, leading up to the holiday in question.
That's why you don't make plans. Just do stuff and hope it turns out OK.
i just panic until everything is over
Alex its all going to be okay, you still have the plan or at least the framework for it, now you got to have an actual weekend. But always remember when you are about to embark on a research project: Murphy is your enemy and few plans survive contact with the enemy. Worst comes to worst you don't have a conference presentation its not exactly a career ender.
Oh and when it comes time to deal with Murphy ruining your plans sometimes you just go home fix a cup of tea order some take out and relax until you can fix it.
The same thing happend to me a while ago. It is espacially stressful when equipment doesn't work or is not available even if it was supposed to. Maybe you're already doing this but what worked for me in the end was to include a week or two of buffer time in my plans from the get go that is reserved for "nothing". So I know I still have time left if something unexpected comes up along the way. I still don't finish the experiments as fast as I wish to, but it helps to de-stress a lot. And sometimes you might end up finishing earlier then the end of the buffer time period. :)
And lastly, try to be lenient with yourself. Mistakes happen and they make you grow (When I blame myself for everything going wrong I usually remind myself of that by listening to the "It's okay to make mistakes song", haha - th-cam.com/video/twCANhezR10/w-d-xo.html).
Expect your plans to go wrong. Try to spot it before it happens, and when you fail to, learn from it.
Plan for the worst, hope for the best, as it were.
Yes, but learn from the worst too.
Well Im kinda the improvising guy... So i know what i want to do, and what i need, and also i do a little preparation, but in the end i just start and let it roll. If I have a setback or something didn't work i will first try to set up new schedules if i need something from anybody (but most of the time i come to people with a time window which is even big enough to allow some setback ^^) If some one asks "how long do you need this" just say: " a month?" you'll see if they are okay with that xD People at my Campus are very helpful to each other even from Prof to Student. Soo if all fails and my NEW time window can not be made: Thats when i freak out. Minor setback by three days? Well time to go to the movies! XD
Yup, the trick is to keep grad school from getting inside your OODA loop.
believe me. you are not the first and you will not be the last.
Anyone else searching their minds for that Lennon quote right now?
Pro advice: Don't ever make plans! They'll always fail.
the perfect plan accounts for the contingencies.
Nobody is perfect, sh*t happens, Assumption is the mother of all f*ckups, and Murphy
I know the feeling all too well, but the only way I found to deal with it is to just accept that these things happen. No amount of planning can stop Murphy. Especially if your plan involves many tools, materials or people, as the number of requirements grows, so does the chance that some of them will fail.
That said: never assume that something will be there, check that it is there when you still have enough time to get it if it's not. If there is "enough" there, reserve it. Stick a label on it and kill those who try to touch it.
And if your plan begins to fall apart: just stop. Simply stop. Sit down, have a coffee, and and evaluate. What's exactly are the problems, and can you REASONABLY fix them? If you can, then go fix them! If you cannot, then it's a sad but inevitable case of Murphy. And it won't be the last either. It happens to everybody. The only thing you can do is try again and this time, double check the things that went wrong last time.
PS: Still love your videos! Keep doing science, and kick Murphy's butt for me!
Relax. These things happen. See if you can clear another space and go for it again.
"‘(上手で頑張ってね）Jouzu de Ganbatte ne" - which roughly translates as "Have faith and go forth!" --Jake the Dog
Way too familiar, and the "I should have known"s are the most frustrating
Good news: I passed my Quals! but yeah. Still underwater because planning and keeping plans on track is hard.
+Jacob Mccann Congratulations!!!!! From here on out you just gotta keep on keeping on!
No guts no glory.
Star Wars "Stay on target".
Fall back, Regroup, attack!
Fantasy world imaginary works wonders for me, problem is I daydream too much.
Don't look at me, I'm too stupid to make anything except "lol" noises. Suxtabeeyoo.
ever heared of the leged of the reb from gamsu?
look for it, read that
trust me it'll cure your frustration
i sugest a book for you: the mythical man-month.
god I hate that feeling. "Always have a Plan B"? (I know I almost never have those)
And there are even people who have a plan C, D, E, F and G and if everything fails even more letters from the alphabet...
as long as we don't get beyond plan ZZZ everything ought to be fine
*And there are even people who have a plan C, D, E, F and G and if everything fails even more letters from the alphabet...*
Software engineers do that constantly, for life-critical systems. Nuclear power plants, train control systems, aircraft, medical equipment. There's backups for the backups for the backups. :p
With backups that's kind of easy since storage is rather cheap and plan B is really just plan A once removed. Life isn't always as straight forward and your plans could look very different from each other.
Kram1032
Ah, but I'm not talking storage. Most of those systems I described are triplex, at a minimum. Meaning all the work is always done three times by separate computers. If one conflicts but two agree, you take the two that agree. And then after that you probably have another slightly older system that you can fall-back on in case _that_ fails. And so on.
Lots of duplication of effort but it works.
I ride a motorcycle... really fast.
"The best laid plans of mice and men." And women too apparently. I suggest you read more Steinbeck.
Hehe.. welcome to science!
You will keep it in mind next time.. and next time.. and next time.. until you are sure that you got rid of all possible assumptions and human errors
Which is never, btw
Murphy's law?
You need a boyfriend. Not one who takes all of your time, but it helps to have someone to relax with, and whom you could have spent the holiday weekend with.
lol
Most of my stress comes from relationships.
Having a supportive partner is great, but getting one takes work. She ain't got time for no boyfriend.
Fun friend with benefits and a plan to visit interesting destination for the holiday weekend then.
Or just listen to music, take a walk, etc. Usually, doing a different task can give you an idea of how to deal with your current situation. Kind of like how that one kid beat that chess master by pausing and going to other tables and watching them play, and then returning. Really, what you do depends on, well, you. On your point though, just being with family or friends can alleviate stress. Getting a boyfriend *just* to reduce stress in itself seems kind of wrong but what do I know.
Plans don't always work. Just ask my ex wife. It's life. Sorry.
Exercise can be a good way to get out the frustrations. Taking a good run somehow helps. You are in a phase where you need to think these thoughts over again and over again. Once they are done you begin to make a new plan. Experience don't come cheap and don't mean that you don't make mistakes. We all do
Exercise can be a good way to get out the frustrations. Taking a good run somehow helps. You are in a phase where you need to think these thoughts over again and over again. Once they are done you begin to make a new plan. Experience don't come cheap and don't mean that you don't make mistakes. We all do