Hi I'm Dr. Julie | Clinical Psychologist subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health and psychology. For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before? 👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith
It's so fascinating how quickly my outbreaks stopped and I got cured permanently from HSV 1&2. All thanks to @Draloha1 th-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 💙
I went to the gym, and my anxiety was really bad, but then I just told myself I'm not the main character in anyone's story, and they're not looking at me it really helped
My social anxiety takes the form of “I do not want anyone to even remember/notice that I was there” any attention is bad attention when I’m alone in public. Unfortunately that’s why I can’t wear the clothes I want to ✌🏻 too much attention
I actually felt the same way so I only wore the most average clothes possible. In the past few months and through after school activities and working on my anxiety I became more comfortable and finally started to wear a few clothes that weren’t too average but also not too outstanding. This made me feel a lot more comfortable and I’ve been starting to shift my clothes in public from generic to my style little by little. Just realizing that especially in a room with many different people there aren’t many if any looks on you was a big step for me. Also seeing other people who had a similar style to mine who are wearing clothes I so desperately wanted to wear in public as well helped me as well. Maybe it’s not much but I would never go back to only wearing my old clothes because I just felt more comfortable in the others as well. It also doesn’t require you to completely change your appearance from one day to the other. You just have to try changing one piece and see how you like it. I can recommend this to anyone who might feel the same way I did and I know it won’t resolve everything but every little positive change is a start
I didn't even know it was anxiety, I thought it was just me being anti-social, I avoid any conversation, it's just keep getting worst . I feel as if even my text are being judge sometime. It's like I can't communicate probably.
Hi Apple Eyes. Please talk with your doctor (if you have one) and they can get you help, whether that is medication or therapy. Your anxiety is getting worse because you are becoming anxious over that anxiety. I was placed on medication in July of this past year after suffering from a major panic attack at a store and I couldn't leave my bed for weeks afterwards. I'm 31. It just got worse and worse because I was obsessed over having another attack. I'm not 100% but the medication helped tremendously (or maybe the placebo effect?) Anyway, I was able to go to my first NFL game in a stadium and crowd of 50,000 and a couple days ago I was at the mall and did a hot sauce tasting where I had to have a full blown conversation with a complete stranger. These things sound so stupid to people who don't understand, but I'm doing so much better than I was and I know you can too. I know a lot of people are against medication so therapy is a tremendous thing as well. Please, please seek help. My social anxiety is classified as severe, but even at that, I've never been worried about texting people. I promise it can get better.
No my guy you all good you need understand how much money people can make with the overall people thinking everything is sickness and illness and on top its a perfect excuse to make our whole society weak with them knowing and being okay with it because its such a good excuse to not get grip or jump over his own shadow. We humans are capable of so much but if we all would know it and do it, we would be able to not just do what 1 person wanr we basicslly would do what is right and what is right mostly not make money in most cases it cost money.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Congratulations!! That’s a really big deal❤ There are more and more Drs willing to help others with this kind of treatment. Continued self care and love will take you places you never dreamed of. Best..
no, they aren't confident and smart...they are usually narcissistic and pridefilled. Keep working at it. Most people are just addicted to their devices and posting which is....narc
Unfortunately sometimes we are though. Especially if being bullied. But likely we are just pass-through characters. We might be the focus for a moment but then everyone goes back to being focused on themselves again. They might have a good laugh about you while together in private but that’s none of your business. Their pettiness always catches up to them. You just live your life in freedom from someone else’s private poisonous thoughts.
@awissink08 This is how it is exactly!!! They become a passing thought. The number of times I thought my life was over because of a rumour or drama, but this weeks business is next weeks past.
Here’s a tip that helps me in a social environment as someone with social anxiety. Just remember that others are worried about themselves and are most likely experiencing the spotlight effect as well.
somexs when i feel like im a focus ppl wanna try me more. but eventually when ppl warm up, i think ppl do see the douchebags for who they r... bc somexs if u kill ppl w/ kindness, maybe it does come back 10 fold... & i dont even hafta do anything. even if i dont always expect it. i prefer 1 on 1 convos, so i guess if i gotta do that in a room full of ppl, i try to pretend thats what it is. well, especially if those ppl make me feel a little more comfortable ..but somexs ppl really do try their hardest to be all up in it..& its like i didnt ask? but ppl in general, everyone all talks ish about each other & low key hate/ annoys everyone else, so, at least that makes me feel a little bit better about myself :/ 🤗
I was really socially awkward and then I got a dog and then even when I wasn't with her I had a confidence......personally nature makes me calm so I just try to be outside and with animals as much as I can
Me trying to ppl: yeah... So... I mean... Did u get laid last night? Bc I think u should. Or something. Phew did my duty. Enough of that. Moving along. U should've saw me when I was younger. I had way less filter, & cared less about hiding my "weird." Clearly, I thought most ppl just gave me a pass anyways..
I hate it if I walk on the street and no one else is there. I feel like every car that's passing is judging me. But you're right! I'm not in the spotlight. If I am in the spotlight, it's because I want to think I am. I want to go outside today and I'm going to. I give you all and myself strength to do something you're scared to do today! ❤️ Life is really not worth living if you avoid the things you're scared of. I love you! 💕 To everyone who's reading this
Thank you. I went out tonight and have already been grilling myself....did I talk too much? Did I talk about myself too much? Did the other person have a good time? Etc, etc..... Ugh! It's one of the reasons I do so many things alone.
You rock!!! I love the intelligence with which you simplifying how understand the actual dynamics at work within our own perception, and ease of implementing an effective counterbalance for overthinkers 👌🏻The shift in perception and focus you’ve suggested are so simple yet invaluable
I just want to seriously thank you, my entire life has been a train wreck when it comes to human interactions. I have never heard this explained so well.
I have really bad social anxiety but I've started to make an effort, particularly at work. I've set up breaks where we can socialise and have cake, I'm signing up for social events even if I don't know anyone there. I would have never done it in the past, and to be honest, I'm still scared about it but after I've done it, I don't feel that it was as bad as I thought. I also have some backup questions ready before I meet someone new so that I don't focus so much on my anxiety.
I just went out last night meeting new people and my anxiety was really bad because I was so tired (not the best time to meet new people lol) but at least I went and joined in with the conversation when I could and although it could of gone better at least I went so I should be proud of me for just going on the first place 😊 xx
Whenever I think that everyone is staring at me, I’ll just say, “Whatever” then I start talking me to my friends or I’ll think of something different, it actually works really well for me.
it just makes me feel vulnerable. id get deep like its some psychological crap.. but in short, if u act too predatorial i have no clue how ppl dont pick up on my dirty looks. im nice, i care when it counts, just im not full of myself. im not in my head. legit, i dont just think ure a creep. i know u r .. ok well otherwise, still have no clue how ppl r that oblivious... im not that female. i dont get easily flattered by stares. im more plz move. i think ur pointless. i just dont always say these things out loud be i dont want to seem rude even if i think u r
@@DrJuliehey Julie can you please help me and my female best friend are having some problems in life we are working together and we have been trying to deal with this in the best possible way as we can
The environment we live in today is very quick to criticize, even ostracize for having the wrong opinion. I can 100% understand why you would fear saying the wrong thing. Political correctness has been very destructive to the give and take of relationships.
The problem is on the rare occasions which I push myself to start the conversation, half the time it doesn't go well because I get sarcastic or irritated replies. And when a convo doesn't go well, it spirals me down into anxiety for the rest of the day, and that makes me regret immensely. Those convos are made only because I wanted to tackle my anxiety so once it fails, I'll not make another attempt for months.
I had crippling social anxiety in my teens and twenties. People probably had no idea. I think they often thought I was just moody or unfriendly. I felt judged constantly and everyone seemed to have a social freedom that i didn't have. I was very lonely and it was kind of awful to be honest. I would often self medicate with booze. Anyway, once I recognised this about myself I focussed more out than in. I'm in my thirties now and have never been happier or more comfortable socialising. I think back to me 10 years ago and honestly don't know what I was so worked up about. Look after your mind, folks.
This was actually great solid advice thank you. I never realized this is how I should handle it, and that constantly looking inward is not normal. Curiosity voyage begin!
Trying to do more things to get out of my shell n tackle this anxiety issues. Went to get my brows done at the mall today and was talking to my sister about how high my anxiety was before I even got in the parking lot. She reminded me people are not worried about me or judging me I'm not that important lol but seriously it's more me judging myself to stop worrying and just get them done. I'm glad I went in and got them done they look great and I even walked thru the mall after to the food court and felt much better when I left.
Self-love inwardly, and then you no longer care what people outside of yourself think of you. Eventually, your anxiety fades into oblivion because you give yourself the love and acceptance you need.
I love these videos in that they help ME, help MYSELF. Other psychologists on TH-cam point out OTHER PEOPLE'S difficulties and how to recognize them. I don't want to diagnose anyone but me. Isn't that the true pursuit of self-help? When I listen to you, I learn and grow through recognition of my own struggles. Thank you ❤
I will try to remember this for next time I am in a social situation. My therapist person is making me do an ‘experiment’ and I have to talk to people in groups of more than 2. I can talk to one or two people ok, but more than that I will stay silent. I think this might be useful to help me out with it without becoming extremely overwhelmed.
My dad makes fun at me for being "socially awkward" and not wanting to interact with people to like go change my drink if they got it wrong or to order and he doesn't understand that it's docial anxiety and that it is a really thing but thank you for this video
Ughhhh! I was like this and still as an adult but it helps to keep watching these types of videos, that “awkward” feeling will probably never go away but tell people let you go about things in your own way and time. You don’t have to do the things the way other people do them, find your own way.Over time you learn how to function and the anxiety does get smaller and more manageable. Bless💜🙏🏾🤗✌🏾
I think you should write your dad a letter to explain how his behaviour makes you feel. It means he will have to read it without interrupting you or turning it into a joke. Just explain how his behaviour when you're struggling makes you feel. Try not to say 'YOU make me feel bad," say how your condition affects you and how sometimes his reactions to this make you feel bad. Good luck!
@@WillowTree-iy2vr you're welcome. The reason I say this is bc this is what I did to finally get through to my dad when he had a drinking problem. I didn't place any blame or call him names in the letter, just explained how for my own mental health I couldn't be around him anymore. It was the first step in him admitting he needed help and he's been sober for a decade now. ❤
That was... actually incredibly helpful. I've struggled with this my whole life and took years only to realize half of what you said in this video. Thank you.
I dont think I have anxiety but I always feel like others are judging me and sometimes i dont like being around others. But other times I feel fine around people, it feels like I switch between the two.
I've never been to a psychologist, but i've learned to meditate and reflect on situations. These tips have helped me tremendously with my anxious thoughts when i'm around people. Im not so hard on myself anymore and it feels great
My mother used to make me feel like everyone was judging me because of how harshly she was judging me herself and telling me that other people agreed with her.
SAME would bring up how other people are going to look at me as a slut for what I’m wearing and how Im walking. I’m really sorry:/ and I hope everything is going well after all that with your mom
I never realized how much I needed to hear this woman. You have given me more confidence and helped me with issues I was suppressing inside myself for so long that I didn't realize I had them or that they were the real issues. What a blessing you are to so many around the world, and what a gift you have to help more people around the world than you know!!!! ❤️❤❤
I used to have severe social anxiety, sometimes even leaving a comment like now triggers my anxiety But I’d like to say your videos are very helpful, I’m here to show my appreciation for you
With personal people it triggers a panic attack because I have anxiety about what people will react to it I try not to message unless necessary to reduce stress
Some of the most dope social anxiety advice I’ve heard put together. Three more things I’ll add that help tremendously with anxiety, and indeed with everything: optimize your daily eating, moving, and sleeping, to the best of your ability, within reason.
I have diagnosed social anxiety and I work at a hotel. My fear usually transmit into anger or irritation then I’m crying later wondering if I’m being talked about… it’s strange, but I will try to use these tipes
I love you ,and I adore everything you say 💙 .. It's like you read people like an open book and give them advice in their time of need .. you're so so so awesome keep going 😘
What if I do not want to know anything about the other ppl in the room? Most of my anxiety stems from not being interested in other ppl most of the time but feeling the need to having to fake it so I do not seem weird or arrogant bc I'd rather be quite. Ppl told me that they perceived me as such bc I was quiet and did not ask questions back etc. What I am supposed to do with that information? I like ppl in general but I am just not interested in getting to know everyone. And ppl take it so personally. My bf is sour bc I am not interested in his friend group. Why should I? Those are YOUR friends not mine. Me not wanting to spend time with them bc I am not interested in them does not mean I do not like them. That sucks and stresses me out to no end.
You can be content and entertained by yourself. Some people are just introverted, loner types. There are plenty of _real_ rude jerks in the world to be mad at instead of getting mad at the people who simply keep to themselves.
It kinda depends on the day. I’m usually fine if it’s my friends, but some days I feel like even they are judging me, my hair, my lack of style, my lack of makeup, my shifting mood (I don’t share my feelings, I haven’t for a year, so I can be more quiet and hunched over at lunch, then I join in the conversation and start smiling because I force myself to stop thinking about it. One day I think I’m going to explode, everything might just spill out. I’m like a cup always overflowing, each time I “overflow” it’s like I tip a little out, but only enough to keep me for one or two more days, then I overflow again. I overflow by myself or I choke it down, no one knows how I’ve really been feeling, for more than a year now.)
My problem for no.1 is that I just can't get myself to care about other people in the room. I don't want to know about anyone at all. No.2 is hard because for years I have grown with random people literally talking outloud about me thinking no one can hear it (like when I was half-asleep in a bus or they're sitting a bit away from me). Seems like I have good hearings. No.3....instead of getting rewards, because I often ended up saying the wrong things or what I said being perceived negatively by people, oftentimes I ended up getting scolded everytime I interact with people. All these makes me even less wanting to have anything to do with other people.
i had been bullied for nearly my whole life. due to my autism, i was never able to live a normal life like everyone else my age. me going to college is the first time i was going to go somewhere with people my age. even though it’s all over, i still feel nervous about people around me. every time i get told off by a teacher, i would freeze or even get a slight anxiety attack about it. i tried explaining it to my parents, but they never listen to me. all they would say is “it’s all over, just get over it.”
Omg thank u, I just came home from socialising, I was quiet mostly and got anxious about it both when I was there and now afterwards... its like God and the Universe knew I needed this message right now !!! Thank u so much for spreading this and helping me/us ❤❤❤❤
I talked to a girl I'm interested in, I approached her and while we were talking I shook like a leaf in the wind but I'm glad I did it, I don't even care if we end up together
Thats a great choice! I have done it in the past and i got rejected a few times. And i was like: Rejected? Who? Me!? And with that mindset i improved myself mentally and physically and it really gave me motivation to show who she rejected. And if she says yes thats of course even more awesome!
Hello, I'm from Germany and understand not every word but with the undertitles I understand the Kontext. Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I love you Dr. Julie
Whenever i try to talk to people i don't know why my heart just beats faster and my face gets red like a tomato (but not with every person) .... So even if i can hide my social anxiety my face and my eyes can't🤷♀️
The fact I’m having to watch this many times over to understand just because the statement “how other people perceive you” made my brain rewind to everything ever is just so overwhelming ;-; Social anxiety can be really, really tough. Stay strong everyone🤍 Thank you Dr. Julie.
Bookmarked because I know I’m gonna need this message more than once 🤣 moving in with my partner and his family in two weeks. All the anxiety for this.
Dr Julie, I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your book and your Videos. I am 57 years and suffered decades of emotional abuse by covert narcissists without knowing it. I nearly died of this. After years of selfwork, trauma releasing I slowly become better. Your book and Videos are so,so helpful.Really : no one told me this before and I was searching many years in the wrong aeras for seeking help.A german Version of your book would would be great. Thank you and wish your the best.
Last point is spot on! The only way to overcome social anxiety is to interact with people. Having said that, modern society can make interacting and connecting with people difficult. We have an overall breakdown of vibrant and supportive communities compared to in the past.
right. its like when the "sweetsy quiet" girl finally starts talking. i feel like everybody pulls the zoolander neck move. ok not really but i do notice when ppl quiet down around me. or lol when they start zoning out... maybe cuz of their own anxiety, lack of sleep, we er... or when ppl dont listen fr fr. bc of how disruptive they & jow unwilling they r to follow a basic convo
What helped me so much years ago my husband said to me emily nobody cares about you no one from the bus will rememeber you everyone is too busy worrying about themselves. This helped me so so much he was right and after lots of practice i no longer have social anxiety i feel so free i now love meating new people starting conversations and going out.
These shorts are really helping. Im slowly picking apart whats been going on, and putting some pieces together. I work too much to make it to therapy, and make too little to pay for it. These have helped more than most anything else. Most of all, I've concluded that I'm not going crazy. Which was a much bigger relief then I expected. I have actually stopped speaking my thoughts out loud quite as much, and I've been able to recognize when im making up scenarios and stop it. Thank you, its a little progress. But it's more than I have made in awhile.
Damn. She just hit everything spot on. I basically feel the first one every day and every time I go out, especially when going to church. Even decided to grow out my hair to block out my vision on the side so I don't see other people's heads when walking pass them.
Thank you for that! I am unable to smalltalk with people, i focus so much on myself, that it feels like a black out in my mind. Everything is black! No words, no pictures! Just anxiety..😢
Hi I'm Dr. Julie | Clinical Psychologist subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health and psychology.
For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?
👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith
Hello! Can you please make a video about how to tell if you have social anxiety?
Why am i feeling scared/bad suddenly when i was determined to finally apply ppo against my abusive family last night?...
It's so fascinating how quickly my outbreaks stopped and I got cured permanently from HSV 1&2. All thanks to @Draloha1 th-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 💙
What is called when you truly dont care what others think about you. It dosent matter what they think they cant know what you gone tru
What's your opinion on anxiety tablets??
I kinda hate and love how this woman describes me on the internet!
Same
Fr 💀
Same, it feels like most of her videos are calling me out
Me too and people around me thinks that I'm exaggerating.
Same, kinda feel attacked 😂😂
Not only are they not thinking about us, they are thinking mostly about themselves TOO.
💯
I went to the gym, and my anxiety was really bad, but then I just told myself I'm not the main character in anyone's story, and they're not looking at me it really helped
Yes yes! I was terrified of going to the gym, but the gym is the place where people are in the zone focused on themselves!
Narcissists watch you intently from across the room. Gyms are full of Narcissists 😆
ooooo. I love that. Gonna remember that
I'm surprised you even made it to the gym tbh, I want to go but my mind won't let me 😔
@@HUYI1 YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!
My social anxiety takes the form of “I do not want anyone to even remember/notice that I was there” any attention is bad attention when I’m alone in public. Unfortunately that’s why I can’t wear the clothes I want to ✌🏻 too much attention
I do this subconsciously, I wear average clothes maybe it's for the same reason?
I use to joke, I want to be a bush.
I wish I was invisible. I try to my hardest to go unnoticed and I feel like it always backfires. How am i the weirdo for minding my own business
Yessss!!! I feel the same
I actually felt the same way so I only wore the most average clothes possible.
In the past few months and through after school activities and working on my anxiety I became more comfortable and finally started to wear a few clothes that weren’t too average but also not too outstanding.
This made me feel a lot more comfortable and I’ve been starting to shift my clothes in public from generic to my style little by little.
Just realizing that especially in a room with many different people there aren’t many if any looks on you was a big step for me.
Also seeing other people who had a similar style to mine who are wearing clothes I so desperately wanted to wear in public as well helped me as well.
Maybe it’s not much but I would never go back to only wearing my old clothes because I just felt more comfortable in the others as well. It also doesn’t require you to completely change your appearance from one day to the other. You just have to try changing one piece and see how you like it.
I can recommend this to anyone who might feel the same way I did and I know it won’t resolve everything but every little positive change is a start
I have crippling social anxiety to a point where I refuse almost any outdoor activity. It's just exhausting at this point
Bro I can relate too I am in the same boat I don't know how to get rid of it
Me too. And the fact that i'm already 26 just adds up shame in me
@@stay-chan omg no way im also 26
@@sheelasajikumar2186 you from India
I didn't even know it was anxiety, I thought it was just me being anti-social, I avoid any conversation, it's just keep getting worst . I feel as if even my text are being judge sometime. It's like I can't communicate probably.
Hi Apple Eyes. Please talk with your doctor (if you have one) and they can get you help, whether that is medication or therapy. Your anxiety is getting worse because you are becoming anxious over that anxiety. I was placed on medication in July of this past year after suffering from a major panic attack at a store and I couldn't leave my bed for weeks afterwards. I'm 31. It just got worse and worse because I was obsessed over having another attack. I'm not 100% but the medication helped tremendously (or maybe the placebo effect?) Anyway, I was able to go to my first NFL game in a stadium and crowd of 50,000 and a couple days ago I was at the mall and did a hot sauce tasting where I had to have a full blown conversation with a complete stranger. These things sound so stupid to people who don't understand, but I'm doing so much better than I was and I know you can too. I know a lot of people are against medication so therapy is a tremendous thing as well. Please, please seek help. My social anxiety is classified as severe, but even at that, I've never been worried about texting people. I promise it can get better.
No my guy you all good you need understand how much money people can make with the overall people thinking everything is sickness and illness and on top its a perfect excuse to make our whole society weak with them knowing and being okay with it because its such a good excuse to not get grip or jump over his own shadow. We humans are capable of so much but if we all would know it and do it, we would be able to not just do what 1 person wanr we basicslly would do what is right and what is right mostly not make money in most cases it cost money.
Me too
I am the same way. Luckily the older you get, the more confidence you get but only because you don't see most as superior than you anymore.
same...
"In reality, people are less concern with us then we think "
So, don't be over concern 😊
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
You put this on every post seems like a bit
@brucemars296unfortunately Big Pharma will have a say on this since their pill profits will take a halt
Congratulations!! That’s a really big deal❤ There are more and more Drs willing to help others with this kind of treatment. Continued self care and love will take you places you never dreamed of. Best..
That's great! All the best x
I think anxiety and awkwardness always just effects me, and everyone else is confident and smart! Ugh 😣
old reply but SAME
Yup, me too.
no, they aren't confident and smart...they are usually narcissistic and pridefilled. Keep working at it. Most people are just addicted to their devices and posting which is....narc
I'm from India I have both social anxiety disorder and schizophrenia 😭😭
I really needed this. Whenever I go out, I feel as if that I'm the centre of attention for that moment. Thank you so much. 😄❤
No worries!
Ooh same. 😑
Banned user name. Please restart, kiddo.
Same here
@@Bro1up you are not a KETLER star.
You know, your voice just feels so calm it feels as if you are directing me the advice personally. Thank You
A little quote that helps me is “your not the main character in someone else’s story” it helps me a lot when I feel socially anxious or awkward.
Unfortunately sometimes we are though. Especially if being bullied. But likely we are just pass-through characters. We might be the focus for a moment but then everyone goes back to being focused on themselves again. They might have a good laugh about you while together in private but that’s none of your business. Their pettiness always catches up to them. You just live your life in freedom from someone else’s private poisonous thoughts.
@awissink08 This is how it is exactly!!! They become a passing thought. The number of times I thought my life was over because of a rumour or drama, but this weeks business is next weeks past.
I love the idea of rewarding ourselves whether the interaction went well or not. That's powerful
Here’s a tip that helps me in a social environment as someone with social anxiety.
Just remember that others are worried about themselves and are most likely experiencing the spotlight effect as well.
Lol i don’t give af what other people think about me yet people still trigger my anxiety
somexs when i feel like im a focus ppl wanna try me more. but eventually when ppl warm up, i think ppl do see the douchebags for who they r... bc somexs if u kill ppl w/ kindness, maybe it does come back 10 fold... & i dont even hafta do anything. even if i dont always expect it. i prefer 1 on 1 convos, so i guess if i gotta do that in a room full of ppl, i try to pretend thats what it is. well, especially if those ppl make me feel a little more comfortable ..but somexs ppl really do try their hardest to be all up in it..& its like i didnt ask? but ppl in general, everyone all talks ish about each other & low key hate/ annoys everyone else, so, at least that makes me feel a little bit better about myself :/ 🤗
Not really, since other people are neurotypical adults with working relationships.
what does neruodivergency have to do with a anxiety disorder? @@after_midnight9592
I was really socially awkward and then I got a dog and then even when I wasn't with her I had a confidence......personally nature makes me calm so I just try to be outside and with animals as much as I can
Me trying to ppl: yeah... So... I mean... Did u get laid last night? Bc I think u should. Or something. Phew did my duty. Enough of that. Moving along. U should've saw me when I was younger. I had way less filter, & cared less about hiding my "weird." Clearly, I thought most ppl just gave me a pass anyways..
I love how you put things so simply, this really helped
Really glad this video helped!
I hate it if I walk on the street and no one else is there. I feel like every car that's passing is judging me. But you're right! I'm not in the spotlight. If I am in the spotlight, it's because I want to think I am. I want to go outside today and I'm going to. I give you all and myself strength to do something you're scared to do today! ❤️ Life is really not worth living if you avoid the things you're scared of. I love you! 💕 To everyone who's reading this
Thank you. I went out tonight and have already been grilling myself....did I talk too much? Did I talk about myself too much? Did the other person have a good time? Etc, etc..... Ugh! It's one of the reasons I do so many things alone.
Did I say something stupid? Did I unintentionally hurt someone's feelings?
Me not fitting in, is my best quality! Thank you for the diagnosis. 💙
I can't express how much I needed to hear this. Thank you so much
Her book " why has nobody told me this before" is the best gift i ever did to myself!
No worries!
You rock!!!
I love the intelligence with which you simplifying how understand the actual dynamics at work within our own perception, and ease of implementing an effective counterbalance for overthinkers 👌🏻The shift in perception and focus you’ve suggested are so simple yet invaluable
This is truly amazing advice. My life completely changed when I realized that what other people think of me is none of my business.
I just want to seriously thank you, my entire life has been a train wreck when it comes to human interactions. I have never heard this explained so well.
I have really bad social anxiety but I've started to make an effort, particularly at work. I've set up breaks where we can socialise and have cake, I'm signing up for social events even if I don't know anyone there. I would have never done it in the past, and to be honest, I'm still scared about it but after I've done it, I don't feel that it was as bad as I thought. I also have some backup questions ready before I meet someone new so that I don't focus so much on my anxiety.
I just went out last night meeting new people and my anxiety was really bad because I was so tired (not the best time to meet new people lol) but at least I went and joined in with the conversation when I could and although it could of gone better at least I went so I should be proud of me for just going on the first place 😊 xx
Whenever I think that everyone is staring at me, I’ll just say, “Whatever” then I start talking me to my friends or I’ll think of something different, it actually works really well for me.
it just makes me feel vulnerable. id get deep like its some psychological crap.. but in short, if u act too predatorial i have no clue how ppl dont pick up on my dirty looks. im nice, i care when it counts, just im not full of myself. im not in my head. legit, i dont just think ure a creep. i know u r .. ok well otherwise, still have no clue how ppl r that oblivious... im not that female. i dont get easily flattered by stares. im more plz move. i think ur pointless. i just dont always say these things out loud be i dont want to seem rude even if i think u r
I just giggled with delight. I am SO delighted in how well im doing with my social ineptness. Good for me!!!
Wow! I needed this today because I caught myself beating myself up for saying the wrong thing. Thank you!
No worries!
@@DrJuliehey Julie can you please help me and my female best friend are having some problems in life we are working together and we have been trying to deal with this in the best possible way as we can
The environment we live in today is very quick to criticize, even ostracize for having the wrong opinion. I can 100% understand why you would fear saying the wrong thing. Political correctness has been very destructive to the give and take of relationships.
Im proud of myself I sat at a table with people I hardly knew .. I was proud of myself!!!! 🙆🙆🙆😘😘😘🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I recognise all of those symptoms, a good reminder of how to address them.
thank you !! i was 95% sure already, but after this i’m 100% sure i have severe social anxiety 😊
Yess..me too
The problem is on the rare occasions which I push myself to start the conversation, half the time it doesn't go well because I get sarcastic or irritated replies. And when a convo doesn't go well, it spirals me down into anxiety for the rest of the day, and that makes me regret immensely. Those convos are made only because I wanted to tackle my anxiety so once it fails, I'll not make another attempt for months.
I had crippling social anxiety in my teens and twenties. People probably had no idea. I think they often thought I was just moody or unfriendly. I felt judged constantly and everyone seemed to have a social freedom that i didn't have. I was very lonely and it was kind of awful to be honest. I would often self medicate with booze. Anyway, once I recognised this about myself I focussed more out than in. I'm in my thirties now and have never been happier or more comfortable socialising. I think back to me 10 years ago and honestly don't know what I was so worked up about. Look after your mind, folks.
This was actually great solid advice thank you. I never realized this is how I should handle it, and that constantly looking inward is not normal.
Curiosity voyage begin!
Trying to do more things to get out of my shell n tackle this anxiety issues. Went to get my brows done at the mall today and was talking to my sister about how high my anxiety was before I even got in the parking lot. She reminded me people are not worried about me or judging me I'm not that important lol but seriously it's more me judging myself to stop worrying and just get them done. I'm glad I went in and got them done they look great and I even walked thru the mall after to the food court and felt much better when I left.
This is a banned username
Self-love inwardly, and then you no longer care what people outside of yourself think of you. Eventually, your anxiety fades into oblivion because you give yourself the love and acceptance you need.
That’s a great idea to more so focus on being curious about what I want to know about other people, thank you! Introspection is so real.
I love these videos in that they help ME, help MYSELF. Other psychologists on TH-cam point out OTHER PEOPLE'S difficulties and how to recognize them. I don't want to diagnose anyone but me. Isn't that the true pursuit of self-help?
When I listen to you, I learn and grow through recognition of my own struggles.
Thank you
❤
I will try to remember this for next time I am in a social situation.
My therapist person is making me do an ‘experiment’ and I have to talk to people in groups of more than 2. I can talk to one or two people ok, but more than that I will stay silent. I think this might be useful to help me out with it without becoming extremely overwhelmed.
Thank you for helping me
My dad makes fun at me for being "socially awkward" and not wanting to interact with people to like go change my drink if they got it wrong or to order and he doesn't understand that it's docial anxiety and that it is a really thing but thank you for this video
Ughhhh! I was like this and still as an adult but it helps to keep watching these types of videos, that “awkward” feeling will probably never go away but tell people let you go about things in your own way and time. You don’t have to do the things the way other people do them, find your own way.Over time you learn how to function and the anxiety does get smaller and more manageable. Bless💜🙏🏾🤗✌🏾
You probably don’t under how your dad doesn’t get the whole “social anxiety” thing either? This is coming from someone who sees it both ways.
I think you should write your dad a letter to explain how his behaviour makes you feel.
It means he will have to read it without interrupting you or turning it into a joke.
Just explain how his behaviour when you're struggling makes you feel. Try not to say 'YOU make me feel bad," say how your condition affects you and how sometimes his reactions to this make you feel bad.
Good luck!
@@kimwexler9393 Honestly not a bad idea. I'm gonna try that thank you
@@WillowTree-iy2vr you're welcome. The reason I say this is bc this is what I did to finally get through to my dad when he had a drinking problem. I didn't place any blame or call him names in the letter, just explained how for my own mental health I couldn't be around him anymore. It was the first step in him admitting he needed help and he's been sober for a decade now. ❤
That was... actually incredibly helpful. I've struggled with this my whole life and took years only to realize half of what you said in this video. Thank you.
I dont think I have anxiety but I always feel like others are judging me and sometimes i dont like being around others. But other times I feel fine around people, it feels like I switch between the two.
I've never been to a psychologist, but i've learned to meditate and reflect on situations. These tips have helped me tremendously with my anxious thoughts when i'm around people. Im not so hard on myself anymore and it feels great
My mother used to make me feel like everyone was judging me because of how harshly she was judging me herself and telling me that other people agreed with her.
SAME would bring up how other people are going to look at me as a slut for what I’m wearing and how Im walking. I’m really sorry:/ and I hope everything is going well after all that with your mom
@@brennagarrett6111 thank you and I hope the same for you
I never realized how much I needed to hear this woman. You have given me more confidence and helped me with issues I was suppressing inside myself for so long that I didn't realize I had them or that they were the real issues. What a blessing you are to so many around the world, and what a gift you have to help more people around the world than you know!!!! ❤️❤❤
I used to have severe social anxiety, sometimes even leaving a comment like now triggers my anxiety
But I’d like to say your videos are very helpful, I’m here to show my appreciation for you
With personal people it triggers a panic attack because I have anxiety about what people will react to it I try not to message unless necessary to reduce stress
😭 samee idk if ill still be a normal person
Some of the most dope social anxiety advice I’ve heard put together. Three more things I’ll add that help tremendously with anxiety, and indeed with everything: optimize your daily eating, moving, and sleeping, to the best of your ability, within reason.
You’re an angel for doing this 🙏🏻♥️
anxiety can take over ones life so it helps alot with your advice thank you!
I'm definitely gonna try this tomorrow at school. Thank you ❤️
Soo Good!
I tell myself that it isn’t what they think of me , it’s what I think of them.
Your channel helps me a lot. Whenever I feel down, I open your channel and watch random videos/shorts like a therapist under my hand anytime I want 😍🥰
I have diagnosed social anxiety and I work at a hotel. My fear usually transmit into anger or irritation then I’m crying later wondering if I’m being talked about… it’s strange, but I will try to use these tipes
I got the same diagnose ❤❤❤ sending a lot of healing and love your way ❤❤
Yess i do that. I praise and reward myself after these kinda social interactions.. whether it went well or not. Its okay!! We are growing and learning
I love you ,and I adore everything you say 💙 .. It's like you read people like an open book and give them advice in their time of need .. you're so so so awesome keep going 😘
This is so spot on. Thank you for the advise Dr. Julie.
What if I do not want to know anything about the other ppl in the room? Most of my anxiety stems from not being interested in other ppl most of the time but feeling the need to having to fake it so I do not seem weird or arrogant bc I'd rather be quite. Ppl told me that they perceived me as such bc I was quiet and did not ask questions back etc. What I am supposed to do with that information? I like ppl in general but I am just not interested in getting to know everyone. And ppl take it so personally. My bf is sour bc I am not interested in his friend group. Why should I? Those are YOUR friends not mine. Me not wanting to spend time with them bc I am not interested in them does not mean I do not like them. That sucks and stresses me out to no end.
You can be content and entertained by yourself. Some people are just introverted, loner types. There are plenty of _real_ rude jerks in the world to be mad at instead of getting mad at the people who simply keep to themselves.
Same here. I was looking for this kind of comment.
She's exposing me to the whole world again!
It kinda depends on the day. I’m usually fine if it’s my friends, but some days I feel like even they are judging me, my hair, my lack of style, my lack of makeup, my shifting mood (I don’t share my feelings, I haven’t for a year, so I can be more quiet and hunched over at lunch, then I join in the conversation and start smiling because I force myself to stop thinking about it. One day I think I’m going to explode, everything might just spill out. I’m like a cup always overflowing, each time I “overflow” it’s like I tip a little out, but only enough to keep me for one or two more days, then I overflow again. I overflow by myself or I choke it down, no one knows how I’ve really been feeling, for more than a year now.)
Great tips! ❤
Camouflaged Narcissists make normal, healthy n confident ppl self anxious.
And it take distance and time to get back or improve.
My problem for no.1 is that I just can't get myself to care about other people in the room. I don't want to know about anyone at all.
No.2 is hard because for years I have grown with random people literally talking outloud about me thinking no one can hear it (like when I was half-asleep in a bus or they're sitting a bit away from me). Seems like I have good hearings.
No.3....instead of getting rewards, because I often ended up saying the wrong things or what I said being perceived negatively by people, oftentimes I ended up getting scolded everytime I interact with people.
All these makes me even less wanting to have anything to do with other people.
Well said, " attack the anxiety" ❤
This is your daily reminder that people usually don’t have time to judge you as they’re busy in worrying about what others think of themselves 🙂
Thank you for number 2 advice, it was that I do to myself a lot.. still working on me
i had been bullied for nearly my whole life. due to my autism, i was never able to live a normal life like everyone else my age.
me going to college is the first time i was going to go somewhere with people my age. even though it’s all over, i still feel nervous about people around me. every time i get told off by a teacher, i would freeze or even get a slight anxiety attack about it. i tried explaining it to my parents, but they never listen to me. all they would say is “it’s all over, just get over it.”
Omg thank u, I just came home from socialising, I was quiet mostly and got anxious about it both when I was there and now afterwards... its like God and the Universe knew I needed this message right now !!! Thank u so much for spreading this and helping me/us ❤❤❤❤
My jaw literally dropped when I realized that she just described me to a T
Oh man, you really described me 😢 thanks for telling me how not to beat myself up inwardly after each interaction with people
Me after social events: I want to get ice cream, I deserve it!
Me: but it’s the middle of winter.
I do all of these things😢😢😢it’s really upsetting actually because I’ve been really anxious around people a lot for most of my life😢😢😢
I talked to a girl I'm interested in, I approached her and while we were talking I shook like a leaf in the wind but I'm glad I did it, I don't even care if we end up together
Thats a great choice! I have done it in the past and i got rejected a few times. And i was like: Rejected? Who? Me!? And with that mindset i improved myself mentally and physically and it really gave me motivation to show who she rejected. And if she says yes thats of course even more awesome!
Hello, I'm from Germany and understand not every word but with the undertitles I understand the Kontext. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
I love you Dr. Julie
Whenever i try to talk to people i don't know why my heart just beats faster and my face gets red like a tomato (but not with every person) .... So even if i can hide my social anxiety my face and my eyes can't🤷♀️
😂😂😂It's me
Thank you for sharing. I suffer from acute anxiety
Be curious! Reward myself for a social interaction...I love that. Others are not too concerned with me. Great reminder.
The fact I’m having to watch this many times over to understand just because the statement “how other people perceive you” made my brain rewind to everything ever is just so overwhelming ;-; Social anxiety can be really, really tough. Stay strong everyone🤍 Thank you Dr. Julie.
That video pinpoint my currently situation. You are a sweet and true soul to me. Thank you for being that. It means a lot to me.
Bookmarked because I know I’m gonna need this message more than once 🤣 moving in with my partner and his family in two weeks. All the anxiety for this.
Thank you❤ I just finished a phone call that didn’t went really well and this really helped me getting off my phone
Dr. Julie I want to thank you for what you are doing your videos are something that many people in this world need to see. Keep up the good work.
Thank you ❤️
The inward focus part is spot on!!
Thank you. I didn't even realize what my feelings were thinking during them times.
I mean this is just easily the best diagnosis/solution i have ever seen
…and then I found you 😊. All I needed for my son. 🎉 this will be his first step to he start having self confidence 🎉
Yes. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It’s helpful to know this.
Dr Julie, I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your book and your Videos. I am 57 years and suffered decades of emotional abuse by covert narcissists without knowing it. I nearly died of this. After years of selfwork, trauma releasing I slowly become better. Your book and Videos are so,so helpful.Really : no one told me this before and I was searching many years in the wrong aeras for seeking help.A german Version of your book would would be great. Thank you and wish your the best.
Okay you didnt need to call me out word for word like that (you totally did, I needed that)
Last point is spot on! The only way to overcome social anxiety is to interact with people. Having said that, modern society can make interacting and connecting with people difficult. We have an overall breakdown of vibrant and supportive communities compared to in the past.
Dr Julie Dr Julie Dr Julie...you always get it right!
I just love how you make me understand..and what you say is always relatable to me..thank you
You explained me totally! Love socializing and mingling but if it's a public speech....I cannot
right. its like when the "sweetsy quiet" girl finally starts talking. i feel like everybody pulls the zoolander neck move. ok not really but i do notice when ppl quiet down around me. or lol when they start zoning out... maybe cuz of their own anxiety, lack of sleep, we er... or when ppl dont listen fr fr. bc of how disruptive they & jow unwilling they r to follow a basic convo
What helped me so much years ago my husband said to me emily nobody cares about you no one from the bus will rememeber you everyone is too busy worrying about themselves. This helped me so so much he was right and after lots of practice i no longer have social anxiety i feel so free i now love meating new people starting conversations and going out.
These shorts are really helping. Im slowly picking apart whats been going on, and putting some pieces together. I work too much to make it to therapy, and make too little to pay for it. These have helped more than most anything else. Most of all, I've concluded that I'm not going crazy. Which was a much bigger relief then I expected. I have actually stopped speaking my thoughts out loud quite as much, and I've been able to recognize when im making up scenarios and stop it. Thank you, its a little progress. But it's more than I have made in awhile.
Thank you for talking about this. Reminding myself about those things really helps
Damn. She just hit everything spot on. I basically feel the first one every day and every time I go out, especially when going to church. Even decided to grow out my hair to block out my vision on the side so I don't see other people's heads when walking pass them.
Thank you for that! I am unable to smalltalk with people, i focus so much on myself, that it feels like a black out in my mind. Everything is black! No words, no pictures! Just anxiety..😢