Narcs deal with a lot of depression, anxiety, vices, and addictions... Most of them, if not all, have something they use to cope with stress, life, and past trauma
@sharongomes7219 They are very conscious and aware of what they do and how it affects others,, and they know what they are doing to themselves isn't healthy, they don't deal with trauma, hurt and pain like everyone else
Yup. My ex narcissists would only be a "good time " when he was drinking, tipsy or drunk. Even the children would be confused when he was actually "happy"
😢💔😩 the alcoholic narcissist is so much harder to deal with. The evil spirits fuel the narcissistic behavior… the narcissism fuels the disease… it’s a never ending and no win battle. I thought giving up made me look weak. Now idc how weak I look. Y’all can HAVE HIM.
I keep reading comments from those who have sympathy for narcissists. They assume that their behavior is caused by some type of trauma. *You're exactly where they want you!* Hell, we've all been through something. We don't feel the desire to entrap and destroy those who sincerely care for and about us as we play victim. I don't feel sorry for them. I learned that emotion is wasted on them. If anything, your compassion opens the door for them to abuse you in worse ways. A very cunning and manipulative evil resides in them. The only change you'll ever see in them is that become more proficient in their craft. Pay attention, you'll catch them practicing their dialogical deliveries. *Narcissists aren't bothered by the damages they inflict, they're elated when they are the architect of your misery. They're megalomaniacs. Don't let that fact slip your mind.*
Well said , They give themselves the RIGHT TO BELITTLE , in all topics ,no matter wat anyone's argument is , The more you try to Stick up for yourself the Dirtier their mouth shouts out venom 🐍🦬🐉 The Dragon comes out to play !!!!
Son/Brother you are telling the truth this is so true my friend is so full of SHAME and drinks more SHAME. Do shameful stuff when in blackout and once sober does not want to discuss anything he shamefully did while drunk I so pray for him because he is RUNNING...........
When he drank all, he talked about with his past his past relationships he would tell me things I shouldn’t of even been told he started going in to intimate details with other women describing their flaws in their bodies. It was terrible. I know way too much about many many women that I never needed to know.
They drink also to avoid responsibility and accountability..They usually have other addictions along with the drinking. Sex , attention to validation, cosmetic surgery, work, addictions to name a few...
So glad I found this guy. I have learned so much. My husband of 10 yrs. is a narc. I didn't even know what a narc was! My daughter enlightened me. Been separated since Jan. He drinks like a fish! When he got drunk (daily), he was worse! I'm not going to put ALL my business on here but lets just say this Guy has helped me so much!
My ex is crossing some lines w/ his more frequent and increased drinking. Not a mean drunk, or wasn't anyway. His darker side does come out more. He defends the drinking a lot, has lots of denial and rationalization, yet occasionally admits that he likes it too much. I know he knows.
Thank you for this video🎯 I think my narcissistic sister drink a lot because😢 my mother projecting a lot of heard Shame💀 on her she had never deal with, the trauma she experienced ,as a young girl🙏🏽
Alcohol is a very handy excuse for their awful behavior. “Why are you bringing up those hateful names I called you last night? You know I was drunk!!!” Note: Ppl with borderline traits or Borderline PD diagnoses tend to do the exact same thing.
Exactly 💯 my sister would do that and it would really piss me off that she just expected me to ignore that she tried to hit on my husband all because she was drunk..like she could do anything she wanted to me and I just had to take it and forgive her and move on because she did it drunk 🙄
My ex narc was an alcoholic. Come to find out, he also does coke, and who knows what else. Discarded me to continue his affair with his friends drug addict wife. Yeah, not a good person, and grateful to have him out of my life. To all of you that are suffering, hang in there. It does get better!❤
Sounds just like my ex! Unfortunately I can't go no contact because we have a child together, but I can make sure our child sees healthy attachment and unconditional love from one parent..
He would also get nasty and get into fights BUT the NARCS life is MISERABLE and they will never ever b happy...It's sad but I DON'T have 2 worry bout him cuz I LEFT!!!
Finally got the courage up to go no contact and FINALLY CHANGE MY NUMBER AND BLOCK THEM ON EVERYTHING. I'm moving to Florida next month for my dream job and almost took them with me. What a shitshow that would have been. She lost custody of her child bc she beat me and went to jail numerous of times and even though I dropped the charges she never quit drinking. Not even for her kid. She is out using whatever supply she can to go on trips and has no money, no car, no job, and relies on her mom to pay her rent while her mom has custody of her 8 year old. Her mom is enabling her to drink. She doesnt even have a working phone, she can only use it on wifi. I got into a car accident 5/26/24 and we did see eachother but when she would pass put drunk bc she drank every single day, every minute of every day, I found her cheating messages and her supply. I finally got enough courage to block and change my number. It's been a week on Saturday since we've has no communication and almost a month since we hace seen eachother. Now I'm moving forward without her and my therapist is a miracle. Can't wait to work my dream job. I was broke, physically broken, and mentally drained so she discared me because I had nothing to offer aside from boosting her ego. Now I got back pay, am healing, and moving next month FL to pursue my dream job and she gets NOTHING. Jokes on her and she is someone else's problem now. She uses her male friend who want to be with her sexually (I'm sure they already have) to pay for it all. So her friend Paul got 25k in back pay from disability so they went to Vegas after she got back from Orlando for a week. He is in LOVE with her but she will bleed that poor man dry and discard him like she did to me. It's crazy how people can just use other people and future fake. She used me for far too long. She should be focused on getting a job, getting her kid back (which requires getting sober) but instead she's out living like a teenager instead of a 38 year old single mother. She won the battle and I won the war. She can have her booze and catch her STDs and have her child grow up and not even know her. He hates her and yes he is therapy but grandma takes him because she is too busy drinking and using and abusing people. I hope he grows up and doesn’t give her a dime from what grandma will leave behind for him. They had the audacity to call me the predator. Like how? He just wanted mom's attention and she was too busy getting drunk and high. Well he karma will come. @MentalHealness
My ex narc would drink at least 3-4 times a week prior to me and with me. He started to drink 6-7 days a week once I was catching onto his evil ways. Lies, cheating and manipulating he couldn’t handle it.
I work in a detox program and see narcissistic people everyday. If you struggle with narcissistic traits, please stay away from all substances. Once you get to needing our program, you likelihood of dying from alcoholism is pretty good. It’s a slow, horrible death. Trust me, facing your issues with shame is a lot less terrible. Plus most healthcare people won’t want to deal with your narcissism…their too burned out on it because narcissism is everywhere. The best thing you can do is the hard work of addressing you shame issues.
I think this is for people who love the narc and who are carrying codependent and pass too because that's how I feel when you talk about the shame most the time we beat ourselves up for loving a situation that we can't understand that becomes jekyll-hyde thanks Lee for being there for all
I've been a patient in a detox center. 😱 The whole darned thing was a total shock to me! For 2 or 3 days you're treated with care. After that it's a Big Pharma/Medicaid scam nightmare! And they don't give one hoot nor hollar bout you 😢 so you better take whatever drugs they tell you to and keep quiet!! Those places are filled with narc employees 😮😢
Addiction, narcissism, and codependency are a toxic thruple... sometimes, not all the time, it is the chicken or the egg- addiction will create a narcissist or a toxic person who depends on narcissistic behaviors to survive. Recovery is possible, from narcissism, from codependency, from addiction. Sending love to anyone caught in any part of this dynamic. But only through the INDIVIDUAL- you cannot save anyone, but yourself.
There are NOT enough videos on alcohol /substance abuse and narcissism. PLEASE make more. Mine had a black out episode last week (started an argument to use as an excuse), he walked in the next day like everything was ok and couldn’t understand why I was upset. He gets the luxury of forgetting but I get to remember the horrible things I was called etc…I started to cry while trying to fix my broken iPhone and he mocked me by saying “boohoo” and boy did that trigger me. One thing led to another and cops were called… Its been depressing being here alone and wondering if the past 7 years was a lie. Haven’t heard from him… but I know he blames me. A monster and I mean monster comes out when there’s liquor involved. The rage demon.
Why would you want to hear from him he has not brought you anything but pain I been there and done that they are led by a evil spirit there is nothing like peace I am healing from physical and mental abuse with the help of Jesus Christ I now love myself and I don't make my self a victim because I chose to keep it moving sign Cynthia Smith
Boy I hear you. My alcoholic narcissistic sister would crack onto my husband be inappropriate with my 14yo son! Vomit in my hallway and physically assault me and wake up the next morning like nothing happened! Then when I'd obviously confront her about what she did she would get defensive and start a fight with me! Instead of apologising for her out of control behaviour and nasty words she would start a fight over being told about what she did..it was exhausting 😩 I kicked her out of my home because this kind of thing was happening every day, and I have my son to protect! Nun of us drink so we also didn't want this influence around him any longer. I took her and her daughter in when she enviably drove her husband away with the same shit. She was homeless and I let her stay till she found another home..problem was! Once we let her in she went out of control and refused to leave! She continued to force us to deal with her drunken nasty behaviour by refusing to leave! She began to not flush her toilet and clogged it up with feices , urine and toilet paper! Then once that was unusable she began urinating in the shower! (We had 2 bathrooms 1 was hers to use and maintain) When I saw the mess I lost it! she swung at me and clocked me in the mouth so I finally said enough! And rang the police 🚔 She was taken away and I looked my house up. I haven't seen her since that day and it's been 3months..its hard sometimes but mostly it's a relief..I'm glad she's gone but I'm devastated I've lost my sister 💔 it's like she's dead..😔
The ex narc i dealt with drank 2 much and when i would tell him 2 get help he would say he is ok...but i don't have 2 worry bout that now cuz I LEFT NEVER 2 RETURN AGAIN!!! Let someone else deal with his addiction(s)!
The crazy part is that a drunk narc might drink to numb the shame thinking its gone BUT it amplifies (thats what they dont see) and shows exactly their pain on full display. It brings it all out cuz their mask is off.
My narc. drinks as much as possible every weekend, not in weekdays (unless holidaytime, then he is drinking from breakfast until evening too). Every Sunday is hell-day, and he gets back to his dark/raging mood, and everything I do/don't do, say/don't say, is wrong. Nothing is right, until Friday afternoon when alcohol is again consumed.
That's a weekend warrior for ya. Your choice to have that in your life. When you know better you will do better. You can start today learning to be better for yourself only
I have meet a person who is a narcissist that drinks every day. He uses the alcohol to mask his pain as much as the shame. You want to feel bad for him but I hesitate because of how toxic of a person he is. He doesn't recognize how his actions affect people and definitely lacks a moral compass. Such a sad situation to have seen and know that he isn't happy from the inside.
My narc ex husband is addicted to sex, porn, alcohol, working out excessively with chemicals to help build muscles, opioids, coke, heroine, weed, energy drinks, cigarettes, smokeless tobacco, etc. Not only was all of this a tremendous strain on our finances, but he was NEVER ever sober. Best inpatient rehabs money could by, great support system, access to literally any and all types of help he could possibly need since preteen years. Hear me when I say, YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WILLING TO GET BETTER. Save yourself and get out now. Don't wait until you're a senior citizen, they walk out on you, and leave you to your golden years completely alone after everyone else in your life walked away years ago.
I once asked him “if drinking makes you happy, then go do that. If smoking weed makes you happy, then go do that. If having all these women and being lustful makes you happy, then go do that” …he never responded to what I said, but hopefully he understood my message 😐😐😐
@JacobPang: what do you mean??? He did WAAAYYYYY tooo much hence burning the bridge between him and I💯💯💯 I wish him well though… #rejectionisGodsprotection #selfloveonly #iloveme
He was and still do that no arguing or response needed they play deaf because they delusional to thinking they slick and Shame for it but you saying go do it let's him know you still going to be around .I repeat leave me alone geesh the narc I tolerate be mad because I call him out and laugh at him because it's hilarious to watch him convince his self while stupidity be at all time high /,he a victim and Everybody is dumb unless you negative minded like him then he get mad at them too😅😂
My husband is a narcissist and I didn't know it. He is addicted to alcohol and drugs, it's really sad. And it's really sad I dealt with his actions for 20 years. What a waste my life has been.
My heart aches for you. Our lives seem to mirror each other. May I ask which type of drugs he used? I had to walk away. But, I am afraid. He appears to have some hold on my sister. They speak behind no back on the phone. I have begged her to cease communication. She has disappointed me so much. Please hand in there.
@@a.wilson6694 alcohol and dope. I am currently doing no contact and those who are still associating with him I have dropped them moved and changed my number. You might have to do that with your sister unfortunately 😕 I'm looking into moving to a different state.
Lord, this was my ex to a tee. He would get blackout drunk and when he sobered up he wouldn’t remember anything. When you informed him he would deny it or laugh… it was so strange and crazy!
My ex was a alcoholic narcissist he was very mean & started fights with me. He would treat me bad, I'm glad I got away from him my life is peaceful now 🙏
My girlfriend was a alcoholic narcissist,, She would get blackout drunk and abuse the crap out of me for stuff I had no idea about, Then tell me to leave the house as she wanted to go interstate and sleep with all of her ex boy friends,, So glad I ran away from her as she is just a mess now
My ex bff was a covert narc and an alcoholic. She would use it as an excuse to do and say whatever she'd like to, claiming to not "remember" what she did the next day. Yeah, no thanks to a friendship like that.
My second husband was an alcholic and, sad to say, a narcissist. I caught him in plenty of lies, but he wouldn't (couldn't?) stop. I believe that his drinking was a way of anesthestizing him to his self-knowledge. If he just could have faced himself, he might have seen the potential that he did have. I told him after nearly 3 years that I could not love a lie and left him. Some time later, he died of liver cancer.
Tried to help with my narcassist ex taking him to get help, he refused and accussed me of needing the help. I've left him and let him carry on with his life he chose to live.
To avoid shame... WoW!. My ex-husband drank a lot. One time I saw him pour and drink three 16 oz glasses of Courvoisier (straight) in one hour! This was after his mask started slipping off. After that, I checked our liquor cabinet ...... 90% of the alcohol bottles were empty. 🤯🤯🤯
But if that narcissist can truly feel shame deep down, to me they're not so much a narcissist after all. Because this is SUCH an important step for the person in possibly growing even a teeny bit.
Even if he does remember the bad things he did while he was drunk he claims he doesn't and just blames everything on being drunk. He's turning 60 this month and sitting in prison for a parole violation due to a domestic situation with his son. Lifelong alcholic and career criminal that committed all of his crimes while drunk. He admits he's an alcoholic but doesn't find it within himself to stop. 😢🙏🏼
My Narc was a blazing alcoholic. 11 years I never saw him go without drinking. He hated going out, so he would hang out in the living room and drink and drink. If he ran out, then he would go into a rage until I gave him more money. I would give in because he wasn't going to leave me alone. He drank cases of beer, and he was able to appear sober. If he drank hard alcohol he would either be really funny or a raging obnoxious pig.
I believe my husband drinks to quell his demons from his childhood. From what he tells me his father never gave him any encouragement and always downed anything he did. He also publicly cheated on their mother. After years of drinking, he finally got a DUI this spring. That should have slowed him down, but it didn't. He gets mad at me because I don't want to drink with him. I swear, I don't need another drop of alcohol for the rest of my life.
You’re right. My ex drank to get away from his shame about his behaviors and secrets. Silly me thought he was taking evening naps. He was sometimes passed out.
My soon to be x husband use to smoke weed all of the time but with his new job he can't. He drinks and he knows he isn't a drinker. I hear things since we aren't together of what he has said or done while drinking. True "liquid courage" So glad I don't have to deal with that
Same exact situation with my ex narc only difference he's trying to get his CDL license to drive trucks and the sad Truth most addicts just replace or swap one addiction for another ...!!!
My ex drank a lot, I started drinking a lot to cope with the relationship. Honestly, it wasn’t a shame factor, it was masking that he was lying about marriage and children and slowly watching me rot and become nothing I was masking.
They made it seem like they didn't have a problem, but tugged on my heart strings saying they thought they had a problem, but only drank that much alone at home (1 or 2 in public if we went out), I was lead to believe it was 3 to maybe 6 beers a night and learned later it was 4 times as much. Coupled with another addiction involving screens also later found out. Which, this explained why we only spent time together on their terms. Listining to this, it's sad really.
@liveandletlive9333 oh yes I agree 100% but, I don't mean sad for me, I am free thankfully. I mean sad for them, like I almost feel sorry for them in a way.
I believe you but it is hard to believe my ex had shame about anything. 25 years and I never saw it. No emotion but anger. Never seen him laugh either. Rarely smiled except when talking about himself.
@jeanetteedwards3129 Yep!! My ex drank a lot too!! I mean a lot! We had so many crown royal bags in our house that we could've sold them! Should've taken an investment in stock with all the crown he drank! At least I would've gotten something out of it!
Is this an example of creating new shame to forget the last shame instead of owning up to it? It’s like just piling up unhealed shame. I’m sorry you go through that.
My sister is a Covert, she drinks and uses drugs to cope, while labeling others and trying to shame others..i find her funny now that i see what she is😅
I’m 2017 I dated a narcissist and he drank every day . The only time he didn’t drink was when he was at work. After a couple of months I dumped him ! He stalked me and mother until he died !
I am so happy to see a video on this topic. When my ex relapsed, his narcissism fully appeared. When he was clean and sober, i saw very little of his narcissistic traits. I often wondered if there was a link between narcissism and alcoholism. This video confirmed it for me. A spotlight needs to shine on this topic. Thanks.
Same with my narsisist. He also became like a demon when he was drinking! And he also blamed why he was like he was because he was drinking alkohol. I think theese narsisists have trained themselves along time on a lot of people!😳
My narc barely had any alcohol at least in my presence during the 3 years we were together,,,,,he cheats and leaves me for her (and he stalks me for the next 3 uears) and a year later I run into a coworker of his who tells me my ex turned into a full blown alcoholic, coming into work drunk, drinking lunch, and was sleeping in his truck...he is no longer with the woman he left me for but is now on wife number 6, and got a DUI a year ago
My narc dad went in the opposite direction; he never drinks & he shames people for drinking more than half a beer. Instead, he’s addicted to exercise. His family has a history of narcissism and alcohol abuse, so his anti-drinking stance is probably an overcompensating reaction to that. Unfortunately, living with him during the Covid lockdown stressed me out so bad 24/7 that I became an alcoholic myself. Still haven’t kicked that habit :(
My eldest daughter came to visit me this weekend. Initially things were going ok, then suddenly this morning I was subjected to her put downs and severe gaslighting. Telling me I said or did things I did not do and that I am delusional. She actually was blaming me for things her father said. Her two daughters have been brainwashed to hate me and I've only been good to her and those childen. I know she only comes here because she needs a place to stay in the summer close to the beach. My younger daughter and her fiance live with me four years now, no arguments, we all get along and discuss issues and possible solutions without any fighting. It's only when my eldest daughter comes here that she purposely starts put downs and trying to push my buttons to get me to come back at her in front of the kids, so that she can say see, I told you how she is. It is very hurtful to me, but I understand she wants to hurt me, and won't engage, which gets her even more angry. I only let her come here so I can see the kids. There is always that part of me that wants to believe she wiil realize and will change, but my intellect tells me it will never happen. Everytime she leaves after a visit my anxiety level goes up, and I can't focus on doing anything and can't sleep. She tells the kids I don't go to their house to visit them, but when I go she treats me horrible. So i started staying in a hotel when I go so I dont have to stay at her house. and I dont always have the funds to do that, plus spend money taking the kids out. So I don't go. I would just stay away from her if not for the kids. Her dad was highly narcissistic and beat me and her up, that is why I left him. Yet she stands up for him and puts me down, and says I made her father leave. I had to get us away from him. I will not allow anyone to abuse me or my children. I know I cannot do anything to help her as far as her abusive personality, she has to do that for herself. Her eldest daughter told me that a psychologicalist she went to see because her husband died told her he believes she is a boarderline, so my daughter got mad and walked out. Yelling that he doesn't know what the F--k he is talking about. She is in denial. I can't stand talking to her or having her come here, and why would I want to go to their house and be treated like dirt? She has not been able to get to my grandson, he tells her he doesn't care what she says, he loves me. At least I have that. He's a good kid and she tells him he is f--ken annoying little a--hole among other derogatory names. He only just turned 13. She is a recovering addict who is now an alcoholic and the doctor told her she has to stop drinking but she does nothing. Children services were called by some of her neighbors & have gone to her house numerous times but do nothing at all. Sometimes I think I should sell my house and move out of the country so she can't find me. But, then I wouldn't see my grandson and the two girls they wouldn't care, bit she would tell them what a terrible person I am for leaving. My younger daughter wants me to move away with her and her soon to be husband. So what as a concerned parent or simply a human being can I do? absolutely nothing. Ok, there is my vent for the month.
Sounds like you are taking all that shame on yourself. Deep down inside letting it get to you. Have you tried Alanon? Free yourself and find serenity and love instead of wanting to run / hide and live in denial of what you are letting someone elses behavior do to you.
It sounds like she could lose the kids, and you might be the first in line to get custody? Which sounds like it could be the best thing for the kids. I wish you all luck.
My husband did the same thing. He’d drink a certain amount that would make him not be trashed. But he became so vile, evil and violent after even one beer.
My ex drank so much beer that he hardly ever ate anything. He always had problems with his stomach and he had diarrhea all of the time. He was antisocial and he spent most of his time alone and drunk
Omg ! My nex also drinks daily and goes overboard over the weekends . He has been diarrhoeaing for the past 23 years !! That is " normal" to him . . . Thank God I left him because dealing with his drunkenness took its toll on me n my sons . . .
@@Blessed591 I left him after 3 months and he stalked me until he died in 2019 . His body was found by his apartment complex manager. He didn’t show up for work and his manager was looking for him . I truly believe that he hated himself and everything and everyone .
@@tmichele8922 my ex was a selfish drunk his mother needed surgery and he refused to get off work to support his mother during her surgery. Two months later his mother died. I didn’t attend the funeral because I didn’t want him to think that I still wanted him. He was a sadistic narcissistic drunk and he died the way he lived . Drunk and alone
My ex narc fireman is a hardcore drinker although he always denied. He would operate vehicles and his boat while being hammered. The older he gets, the worse it gets. So dysfunctional. I tried to help but was being stone walled. He doesn’t seem to slow down abusing people. He lies even more.
My narc ex has been passing out drunk every single night for the four years I dated him. And was able to get up for work the next day somehow. Would call me and say horrible things but say it didn't happen because he didn't remember it. He would pass out on the phone and I could hear him breathing but he wouldn't wake up. So glad I got away. 💔
Yea…the narc I used to care about drinks a lot but said he would get sick afterwards because he’s a lightweight. Make it make sense!!! He smokes weed too AND lustful!!!Too many addictions for me🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️ #not4me
I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were he was going to kill himself if I didn't do what was asked, he would punch pillows or sofa, stand up against me and yell at my face, stand behind the car and not let me leave, sometimes we would be driving and he would threaten to swerve and hit any truck, hold my arms and shake me, push me aside to a wall, and much more. My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me. I wasn’t allowed to visit my family or friends. If I did or wanted to, I had to be ready for an argument. Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their son. Recently, I found out he was cheating on me and had a girlfriend. After seeing the texts and pictures, I became numb. I've been a good wife, I listened to every insult and fight. I never gave up what I knew, thanks to this hacker who's helped me to extract enough information from his device. Someone on here shared a link to the hacker who helped cloned his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to him and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and his long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him On Instagram on instagram.com/mark_clinton2424/
@maydavis7589: thank you for your suggestion but I don’t care to know what he’s up to, who he doing, etc…I’m free and I’m not getting back on that hamster wheel 💯💯💯 I tried on numerous occasions to make him see the light and be of encouragement to him but he refused to connect the dots sooooooo…his life=his problem 😐😐😐
This makes sense. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and also indulged in other substances. He was also addicted to Adderall. He said he didn’t like being sober. He used to drink too much a lot of times. Many times he drank on an empty stomach! One time, I hid alcohol from him because I felt like he was overdoing it. Sometimes, he would go into rants while drinking. It was scary and I don’t miss it.
Most narcs never see themselves in the mirror. I have actually been made to believe that it is impossible for them.I am that person that believes in people, and the fact that you are standing here saying Hi it's ME IM the problem its ME! just makes me feel so much hope for others
100%, spent 5 years with one and he drank everyday to mask everything, but of course he forgot about the depression, jitters, etc. so there were no answers in the bottom of the beer glass, he never figured it out.
And then we drink to avoid the shame they put on us! Seriously Wow! I have never heard anyone else talk on this subject I genuinely appreciate your voice and perspective You are a gift Thank tou for being vulnerable, honest and genuine
My ex is both an alcoholic and a narcissist but i love and care for her but finished January this year after 8 years relationship, the quickly got someone else, which hurt me alot 😢
They hate being alone with themselves, or worst, with their families which are the only people that can make them look in the mirror and get away with it. Be well, brother... let it go and make room for something better in your life.
I feel like this is a daily cycle between my ex-husband and I. Things start out ok early in the day. Once the work day is over and the drinking has begun, things get worse as the evening goes on and usually ends up with him talking mean to me and really speaking his mind. We end up not speaking at bedtime because I choose to ignore him, then the cycle starts over again the next morning with nice words from him and apologies. I’m not sure why I continue to participate in this cycle. I know each day how it will end. I realize he drinks because he regrets things he’s done and it’s an escape from reality for him. He is an alcoholic and at one point before we divorced he was drinking before going to work in the mornings. I feel he may be doing that again but I can’t be sure. I really don’t care, but then again I know I do. 😩
You make a lot of sense. An ex of mine used alcohol to get very nasty. I guess that muted his shame until he didn’t need alcohol to humiliate and berate me. I couldn’t go out in public with him because at the end of the evening, I would have to wrestle and babysit an incoherent drunk.
He is completely on point here 💯 correct To start with people we all are spiritual beings inside meat bodies Shame is an unclean spirit, as many others with narcissism
According to both my father and my husband (both addicts and abusive narcissists) the drinking shuts the malevolent voices up. It also helps the victim voice be heard better.
Thank you i been watching your videos our neighbor stole property wont let us do anything but he is a narcissist. Watching you help me learn i struggle from many mental illnesses. So i cominde you
Omg ! My nex also drinks daily and goes overboard over the weekends . He has been diarrhoeaing for the past 23 years !! That is " normal" to him . . . Thank God I left him because dealing with his drunkenness took its toll on me n my sons . . .
Year-by-year fight after fight, he slowly chipped away at me he took my self-esteem away. I started, become jealous because you showed other women more attention than me when we were ours. He did everything in his power to take me away from me. Thank God for therapy.
Studies have found that there's a direct correlation between grandiose narcissism and alcoholism, as well as vulnerable narcissism and stimulant abuse.
Sadly you described my soon ex husband. 12 years I stuck by him. He backslid into over consumption of alcohol and God knows what else. He discarded me in May, he's shacked up with another drinker
I'm so happy for you!! I always say that but you make so much sense to me. This is hard for me to understand bc I don't feel this way. My mom is hurting so bad and I have no idea what happend to her to make her this way. My dad did cheat on her with a lady in our church and she sat behind us every Sunday and my mom never knew it. Her sister and her husband and kids went to church with us and my uncles gf sat behind us as well. Both my mother and aunt were cheated on by other woman in the church. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ moma doesn't drink she mean enough with out alcohol. My ex husband was an alcoholic and it did ruin us.. I need to get a shirt that says I'm free. ❤ happy 4th have a great day Lee!!
Yo guys plz listen to that faithful guy who fight for us not for him, guys think about it everything he say for ya to win and let me tell yall I won with my cover narc a$$ thank you Lee I thank you everyday not even enough. How much you helped...
Yup my ex narc drinks every single day he can’t go without a drink
Narcs deal with a lot of depression, anxiety, vices, and addictions... Most of them, if not all, have something they use to cope with stress, life, and past trauma
Everyone does.
Yup. The secret life thing is real. Especially covert narcs. They always have some kind of secret life
@@brittneysperspective8433
Always! They thrive off of knowing something you don't
But NONE see anything wrong and refuse therapy!
@sharongomes7219
They are very conscious and aware of what they do and how it affects others,, and they know what they are doing to themselves isn't healthy, they don't deal with trauma, hurt and pain like everyone else
It fills their emptiness and gives them liquid courage!
THIS! 💯
Definitely can happen
Yep
EXACTLY!!!!
Yup. My ex narcissists would only be a "good time " when he was drinking, tipsy or drunk. Even the children would be confused when he was actually "happy"
😢💔😩 the alcoholic narcissist is so much harder to deal with. The evil spirits fuel the narcissistic behavior… the narcissism fuels the disease… it’s a never ending and no win battle. I thought giving up made me look weak. Now idc how weak I look. Y’all can HAVE HIM.
😩😞
It's gut wrenching once you realize the crap you tolerated
Yes! My sentiments exactly.
@@mammadingo9165 Yea you feel like a total fool
@@mammadingo9165 I get so upset with myself for staying as long as I did
I keep reading comments from those who have sympathy for narcissists. They assume that their behavior is caused by some type of trauma. *You're exactly where they want you!*
Hell, we've all been through something.
We don't feel the desire to entrap and destroy those who sincerely care for and about us as we play victim.
I don't feel sorry for them. I learned that emotion is wasted on them. If anything, your compassion opens the door for them to abuse you in worse ways.
A very cunning and manipulative evil resides in them. The only change you'll ever see in them is that become more proficient in their craft. Pay attention, you'll catch them practicing their dialogical deliveries.
*Narcissists aren't bothered by the damages they inflict, they're elated when they are the architect of your misery. They're megalomaniacs. Don't let that fact slip your mind.*
Yeah.
I thought so too.
Then I found out I AM one.
Mercy
Amen!
Well said , They give themselves the RIGHT TO BELITTLE , in all topics ,no matter wat anyone's argument is , The more you try to Stick up for yourself the Dirtier their mouth shouts out venom 🐍🦬🐉 The Dragon comes out to play !!!!
The only way to help them is to stop enabling them so they change. Enabling even includes giving them supply.
Exactly don’t feel sorry for them, because they don’t have mercy when they punish you. Love yourself and run.
Son/Brother you are telling the truth this is so true my friend is so full of SHAME and drinks more SHAME. Do shameful stuff when in blackout and once sober does not want to discuss anything he shamefully did while drunk I so pray for him because he is RUNNING...........
When he drank all, he talked about with his past his past relationships he would tell me things I shouldn’t of even been told he started going in to intimate details with other women describing their flaws in their bodies. It was terrible. I know way too much about many many women that I never needed to know.
😔
Sadly, you are not alone! I deal with this everyday
I had someone call me drunk te tell me that they ate dog and will do it again. He even described the taste. 🤢
I think we dated the same man, promiscuous AF, thanks God I got rid of him.
They drink also to avoid responsibility and accountability..They usually have other addictions along with the drinking. Sex , attention to validation, cosmetic surgery, work, addictions to name a few...
So glad I found this guy. I have learned so much. My husband of 10 yrs. is a narc. I didn't even know what a narc was! My daughter enlightened me. Been separated since Jan. He drinks like a fish! When he got drunk (daily), he was worse! I'm not going to put ALL my business on here but lets just say this Guy has helped me so much!
My ex is crossing some lines w/ his more frequent and increased drinking. Not a mean drunk, or wasn't anyway. His darker side does come out more. He defends the drinking a lot, has lots of denial and rationalization, yet occasionally admits that he likes it too much. I know he knows.
Same situation with my soon to be ex husband. He stopped drinking for years, when he backslid it got way worse
Thank you for this video🎯 I think my narcissistic sister drink a lot because😢 my mother projecting a lot of heard Shame💀 on her she had never deal with, the trauma she experienced ,as a young girl🙏🏽
Good luck
Same sis! Same…
It's sad. The self-destruction is depressing.
Alcohol is a very handy excuse for their awful behavior.
“Why are you bringing up those hateful names I called you last night? You know I was drunk!!!”
Note: Ppl with borderline traits or Borderline PD diagnoses tend to do the exact same thing.
Exactly 💯 my sister would do that and it would really piss me off that she just expected me to ignore that she tried to hit on my husband all because she was drunk..like she could do anything she wanted to me and I just had to take it and forgive her and move on because she did it drunk 🙄
My husband does that, I'm done, after 4 nights of pure hell
My ex narc was an alcoholic. Come to find out, he also does coke, and who knows what else. Discarded me to continue his affair with his friends drug addict wife. Yeah, not a good person, and grateful to have him out of my life. To all of you that are suffering, hang in there. It does get better!❤
It does get better is true. Once you see them for what they are you can detach.
Did you have children with him?
Sorry to hear what a horrible situation that was thankfully your free 🙏
Sounds just like my ex! Unfortunately I can't go no contact because we have a child together, but I can make sure our child sees healthy attachment and unconditional love from one parent..
@@ta89fr no, thankfully. 🙏
He would also get nasty and get into fights BUT the NARCS life is MISERABLE and they will never ever b happy...It's sad but I DON'T have 2 worry bout him cuz I LEFT!!!
🙏
Finally got the courage up to go no contact and FINALLY CHANGE MY NUMBER AND BLOCK THEM ON EVERYTHING. I'm moving to Florida next month for my dream job and almost took them with me. What a shitshow that would have been. She lost custody of her child bc she beat me and went to jail numerous of times and even though I dropped the charges she never quit drinking. Not even for her kid. She is out using whatever supply she can to go on trips and has no money, no car, no job, and relies on her mom to pay her rent while her mom has custody of her 8 year old. Her mom is enabling her to drink. She doesnt even have a working phone, she can only use it on wifi. I got into a car accident 5/26/24 and we did see eachother but when she would pass put drunk bc she drank every single day, every minute of every day, I found her cheating messages and her supply. I finally got enough courage to block and change my number. It's been a week on Saturday since we've has no communication and almost a month since we hace seen eachother. Now I'm moving forward without her and my therapist is a miracle. Can't wait to work my dream job. I was broke, physically broken, and mentally drained so she discared me because I had nothing to offer aside from boosting her ego. Now I got back pay, am healing, and moving next month FL to pursue my dream job and she gets NOTHING. Jokes on her and she is someone else's problem now. She uses her male friend who want to be with her sexually (I'm sure they already have) to pay for it all. So her friend Paul got 25k in back pay from disability so they went to Vegas after she got back from Orlando for a week. He is in LOVE with her but she will bleed that poor man dry and discard him like she did to me. It's crazy how people can just use other people and future fake. She used me for far too long. She should be focused on getting a job, getting her kid back (which requires getting sober) but instead she's out living like a teenager instead of a 38 year old single mother. She won the battle and I won the war. She can have her booze and catch her STDs and have her child grow up and not even know her. He hates her and yes he is therapy but grandma takes him because she is too busy drinking and using and abusing people. I hope he grows up and doesn’t give her a dime from what grandma will leave behind for him. They had the audacity to call me the predator. Like how? He just wanted mom's attention and she was too busy getting drunk and high. Well he karma will come.
@MentalHealness
My ex narc would drink at least 3-4 times a week prior to me and with me. He started to drink 6-7 days a week once I was catching onto his evil ways. Lies, cheating and manipulating he couldn’t handle it.
I work in a detox program and see narcissistic people everyday. If you struggle with narcissistic traits, please stay away from all substances. Once you get to needing our program, you likelihood of dying from alcoholism is pretty good. It’s a slow, horrible death. Trust me, facing your issues with shame is a lot less terrible. Plus most healthcare people won’t want to deal with your narcissism…their too burned out on it because narcissism is everywhere. The best thing you can do is the hard work of addressing you shame issues.
I think this is for people who love the narc and who are carrying codependent and pass too because that's how I feel when you talk about the shame most the time we beat ourselves up for loving a situation that we can't understand that becomes jekyll-hyde thanks Lee for being there for all
For empathy too
I've been a patient in a detox center. 😱 The whole darned thing was a total shock to me! For 2 or 3 days you're treated with care. After that it's a Big Pharma/Medicaid scam nightmare! And they don't give one hoot nor hollar bout you 😢 so you better take whatever drugs they tell you to and keep quiet!! Those places are filled with narc employees 😮😢
AA always indicated the two were integral or integrated. Narc and substance.
Alcohol coke and weed that is what most use to block that and guilt of bad things they do......
😞
Addiction, narcissism, and codependency are a toxic thruple... sometimes, not all the time, it is the chicken or the egg- addiction will create a narcissist or a toxic person who depends on narcissistic behaviors to survive.
Recovery is possible, from narcissism, from codependency, from addiction.
Sending love to anyone caught in any part of this dynamic.
But only through the INDIVIDUAL- you cannot save anyone, but yourself.
No sending love to the victims of the narcs 😂
It's not just alcohol...many have addiction to drugs as well. My ex does both.
And Please don't forget Sex Addictions...!!!
@@tanyabrooks542 they screw around to have a supply that they can use
I have reason to believe that my ex-husband was doing drugs (in addition to alcohol) also.
Also, a Covert Narcissist and bi-polar. Of course I was not aware of this when I married him many years ago.
@@AwesomeMe47 😩😞 Hopefully you got away and are on a journey to healing, self care, and growth...!
There are NOT enough videos on alcohol /substance abuse and narcissism. PLEASE make more.
Mine had a black out episode last week (started an argument to use as an excuse), he walked in the next day like everything was ok and couldn’t understand why I was upset. He gets the luxury of forgetting but I get to remember the horrible things I was called etc…I started to cry while trying to fix my broken iPhone and he mocked me by saying “boohoo” and boy did that trigger me. One thing led to another and cops were called…
Its been depressing being here alone and wondering if the past 7 years was a lie. Haven’t heard from him… but I know he blames me.
A monster and I mean monster comes out when there’s liquor involved. The rage demon.
Why would you want to hear from him he has not brought you anything but pain I been there and done that they are led by a evil spirit there is nothing like peace I am healing from physical and mental abuse with the help of Jesus Christ I now love myself and I don't make my self a victim because I chose to keep it moving sign Cynthia Smith
Boy I hear you. My alcoholic narcissistic sister would crack onto my husband be inappropriate with my 14yo son! Vomit in my hallway and physically assault me and wake up the next morning like nothing happened!
Then when I'd obviously confront her about what she did she would get defensive and start a fight with me! Instead of apologising for her out of control behaviour and nasty words she would start a fight over being told about what she did..it was exhausting 😩
I kicked her out of my home because this kind of thing was happening every day, and I have my son to protect! Nun of us drink so we also didn't want this influence around him any longer. I took her and her daughter in when she enviably drove her husband away with the same shit.
She was homeless and I let her stay till she found another home..problem was! Once we let her in she went out of control and refused to leave! She continued to force us to deal with her drunken nasty behaviour by refusing to leave!
She began to not flush her toilet and clogged it up with feices , urine and toilet paper! Then once that was unusable she began urinating in the shower! (We had 2 bathrooms 1 was hers to use and maintain) When I saw the mess I lost it! she swung at me and clocked me in the mouth so I finally said enough! And rang the police 🚔
She was taken away and I looked my house up. I haven't seen her since that day and it's been 3months..its hard sometimes but mostly it's a relief..I'm glad she's gone but I'm devastated I've lost my sister 💔 it's like she's dead..😔
Yup my husband put his hands on my neck last Christmas Eve after 2 beers. He said it was because I was tooooo happy! I mean seriously!
The ex narc i dealt with drank 2 much and when i would tell him 2 get help he would say he is ok...but i don't have 2 worry bout that now cuz I LEFT NEVER 2 RETURN AGAIN!!! Let someone else deal with his addiction(s)!
you should take him to the doctor.. see if he's physically okay..
@juliehwang8482 not her problem
@juliehwang8482 NO I don't think so...I left him and that's it...I don't hate him but he is not my problem anymore!!!
@@misspollysdolly U r soooo right...he is no longer my problem anymore..
Take care of yourself, my husband is narc and a horrible alcoholic, after 4 days of sher hell I'm done too
The crazy part is that a drunk narc might drink to numb the shame thinking its gone BUT it amplifies (thats what they dont see) and shows exactly their pain on full display. It brings it all out cuz their mask is off.
Doesn't it just truth revealed 😢
PREACH...
My narc. drinks as much as possible every weekend, not in weekdays (unless holidaytime, then he is drinking from breakfast until evening too). Every Sunday is hell-day, and he gets back to his dark/raging mood, and everything I do/don't do, say/don't say, is wrong. Nothing is right, until Friday afternoon when alcohol is again consumed.
Why are you still in that? It sounds like Sunday isn't the only hell day. Sounds more like a build of dread all week.
That's a weekend warrior for ya. Your choice to have that in your life. When you know better you will do better. You can start today learning to be better for yourself only
If they feel shame, then they know they did something wrong.
Exactly they do
Sooooo true!
I have meet a person who is a narcissist that drinks every day. He uses the alcohol to mask his pain as much as the shame. You want to feel bad for him but I hesitate because of how toxic of a person he is. He doesn't recognize how his actions affect people and definitely lacks a moral compass. Such a sad situation to have seen and know that he isn't happy from the inside.
😫
@@MentalHealness exactly what I feel
Oh well it’s not your problem
Wow my husband has alcohol issues too I will be watching
🙏🏽
@@MentalHealness Thank you it's hard my kids has anxiety. I just pray everyday
My narc ex husband is addicted to sex, porn, alcohol, working out excessively with chemicals to help build muscles, opioids, coke, heroine, weed, energy drinks, cigarettes, smokeless tobacco, etc. Not only was all of this a tremendous strain on our finances, but he was NEVER ever sober. Best inpatient rehabs money could by, great support system, access to literally any and all types of help he could possibly need since preteen years. Hear me when I say, YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WILLING TO GET BETTER. Save yourself and get out now. Don't wait until you're a senior citizen, they walk out on you, and leave you to your golden years completely alone after everyone else in your life walked away years ago.
I once asked him “if drinking makes you happy, then go do that. If smoking weed makes you happy, then go do that. If having all these women and being lustful makes you happy, then go do that” …he never responded to what I said, but hopefully he understood my message 😐😐😐
😯
What did he do?
@JacobPang: what do you mean??? He did WAAAYYYYY tooo much hence burning the bridge between him and I💯💯💯 I wish him well though…
#rejectionisGodsprotection
#selfloveonly
#iloveme
That's so right. Let someone else go live their live how they choose to find happiness and you go live yours!
He was and still do that no arguing or response needed they play deaf because they delusional to thinking they slick and Shame for it but you saying go do it let's him know you still going to be around .I repeat leave me alone geesh the narc I tolerate be mad because I call him out and laugh at him because it's hilarious to watch him convince his self while stupidity be at all time high /,he a victim and Everybody is dumb unless you negative minded like him then he get mad at them too😅😂
So true is like drinking soothes them in a form of way. And no matter how they try to stop they can't mine also smokes
💯
My husband is a narcissist and I didn't know it. He is addicted to alcohol and drugs, it's really sad. And it's really sad I dealt with his actions for 20 years. What a waste my life has been.
My heart aches for you. Our lives seem to mirror each other. May I ask which type of drugs he used? I had to walk away. But, I am afraid. He appears to have some hold on my sister. They speak behind no back on the phone. I have begged her to cease communication. She has disappointed me so much. Please hand in there.
@@a.wilson6694 alcohol and dope. I am currently doing no contact and those who are still associating with him I have dropped them moved and changed my number. You might have to do that with your sister unfortunately 😕 I'm looking into moving to a different state.
Lord, this was my ex to a tee. He would get blackout drunk and when he sobered up he wouldn’t remember anything. When you informed him he would deny it or laugh… it was so strange and crazy!
My ex was a alcoholic narcissist he was very mean & started fights with me. He would treat me bad, I'm glad I got away from him my life is peaceful now 🙏
🙏🏽
Same here sis 🙌🏾🤍
My covert ex-narc had the alcoholic stomach.
4 engagements & 3 marriages. He was always the victim.
Smear campaign & flying monkeys.
Liar & a thief.
My girlfriend was a alcoholic narcissist,,
She would get blackout drunk and abuse the crap out of me for stuff I had no idea about,
Then tell me to leave the house as she wanted to go interstate and sleep with all of her ex boy friends,,
So glad I ran away from her as she is just a mess now
My ex bff was a covert narc and an alcoholic. She would use it as an excuse to do and say whatever she'd like to, claiming to not "remember" what she did the next day. Yeah, no thanks to a friendship like that.
My second husband was an alcholic and, sad to say, a narcissist. I caught him in plenty of lies, but he wouldn't (couldn't?) stop. I believe that his drinking was a way of anesthestizing him to his self-knowledge. If he just could have faced himself, he might have seen the potential that he did have. I told him after nearly 3 years that I could not love a lie and left him. Some time later, he died of liver cancer.
He drank way more than i was aware of. Thanks for the clarity about the Narc trying to escape shame. Makes so much same.
💯🙏🏽
Tried to help with my narcassist ex taking him to get help, he refused and accussed me of needing the help. I've left him and let him carry on with his life he chose to live.
To avoid shame... WoW!. My ex-husband drank a lot. One time I saw him pour and drink three 16 oz glasses of Courvoisier (straight) in one hour! This was after his mask started slipping off.
After that, I checked our liquor cabinet
...... 90% of the alcohol bottles were empty. 🤯🤯🤯
But if that narcissist can truly feel shame deep down, to me they're not so much a narcissist after all. Because this is SUCH an important step for the person in possibly growing even a teeny bit.
Even if he does remember the bad things he did while he was drunk he claims he doesn't and just blames everything on being drunk. He's turning 60 this month and sitting in prison for a parole violation due to a domestic situation with his son. Lifelong alcholic and career criminal that committed all of his crimes while drunk. He admits he's an alcoholic but doesn't find it within himself to stop. 😢🙏🏼
I don’t know what I would do without these videos to know I’m not crazy I watch 5 videos a day to keep my strength up
stay strong
My Narc was a blazing alcoholic. 11 years I never saw him go without drinking. He hated going out, so he would hang out in the living room and drink and drink. If he ran out, then he would go into a rage until I gave him more money. I would give in because he wasn't going to leave me alone. He drank cases of beer, and he was able to appear sober. If he drank hard alcohol he would either be really funny or a raging obnoxious pig.
😩😩
😢
I asked why do you drink so much.. They said so many thoughts flying through my head.
I believe my husband drinks to quell his demons from his childhood. From what he tells me his father never gave him any encouragement and always downed anything he did. He also publicly cheated on their mother. After years of drinking, he finally got a DUI this spring. That should have slowed him down, but it didn't. He gets mad at me because I don't want to drink with him. I swear, I don't need another drop of alcohol for the rest of my life.
You’re right. My ex drank to get away from his shame about his behaviors and secrets. Silly me thought he was taking evening naps. He was sometimes passed out.
My soon to be x husband use to smoke weed all of the time but with his new job he can't. He drinks and he knows he isn't a drinker. I hear things since we aren't together of what he has said or done while drinking. True "liquid courage"
So glad I don't have to deal with that
Same exact situation with my ex narc only difference he's trying to get his CDL license to drive trucks and the sad Truth most addicts just replace or swap one addiction for another ...!!!
My ex drank a lot, I started drinking a lot to cope with the relationship. Honestly, it wasn’t a shame factor, it was masking that he was lying about marriage and children and slowly watching me rot and become nothing I was masking.
It is a demons so seeing it as a separate being is spot on.
They made it seem like they didn't have a problem, but tugged on my heart strings saying they thought they had a problem, but only drank that much alone at home (1 or 2 in public if we went out), I was lead to believe it was 3 to maybe 6 beers a night and learned later it was 4 times as much. Coupled with another addiction involving screens also later found out. Which, this explained why we only spent time together on their terms. Listining to this, it's sad really.
It's not sad if you are away from this addictive person and are taking care of yourself. It's called happiness and FREEDOM
@liveandletlive9333 oh yes I agree 100% but, I don't mean sad for me, I am free thankfully. I mean sad for them, like I almost feel sorry for them in a way.
I will be watching this! My husband has had issues with alcohol his entire adult life.
🙏🏽🙌🏾
@@MentalHealness 💞
Sounds just like my person
I believe you but it is hard to believe my ex had shame about anything. 25 years and I never saw it. No emotion but anger. Never seen him laugh either. Rarely smiled except when talking about himself.
He told me once when he looks at himself in the mirror he dont see a real man. Like he dont see what others say they see.
Mine said the same.. he didn’t like what he seen.. drinks a lot too! Feel bad for him but gotta stay away!
@jeanetteedwards3129 Yep!! My ex drank a lot too!! I mean a lot! We had so many crown royal bags in our house that we could've sold them! Should've taken an investment in stock with all the crown he drank! At least I would've gotten something out of it!
Is this an example of creating new shame to forget the last shame instead of owning up to it? It’s like just piling up unhealed shame. I’m sorry you go through that.
My sister is a Covert, she drinks and uses drugs to cope, while labeling others and trying to shame others..i find her funny now that i see what she is😅
I’m 2017 I dated a narcissist and he drank every day . The only time he didn’t drink was when he was at work. After a couple of months I dumped him ! He stalked me and mother until he died !
😞 stay strong
Noise, TV, videos all night long ALSO act to distance the narcissist from self
I am so happy to see a video on this topic. When my ex relapsed, his narcissism fully appeared. When he was clean and sober, i saw very little of his narcissistic traits. I often wondered if there was a link between narcissism and alcoholism. This video confirmed it for me. A spotlight needs to shine on this topic. Thanks.
Same with my narsisist. He also became like a demon when he was drinking! And he also blamed why he was like he was because he was drinking alkohol. I think theese narsisists have trained themselves along time on a lot of people!😳
My narc barely had any alcohol at least in my presence during the 3 years we were together,,,,,he cheats and leaves me for her (and he stalks me for the next 3 uears) and a year later I run into a coworker of his who tells me my ex turned into a full blown alcoholic, coming into work drunk, drinking lunch, and was sleeping in his truck...he is no longer with the woman he left me for but is now on wife number 6, and got a DUI a year ago
God set me free today.
Love your videos and I agree. I think a lot of narcissist drink to escape negative feelings.
My narc dad went in the opposite direction; he never drinks & he shames people for drinking more than half a beer. Instead, he’s addicted to exercise. His family has a history of narcissism and alcohol abuse, so his anti-drinking stance is probably an overcompensating reaction to that.
Unfortunately, living with him during the Covid lockdown stressed me out so bad 24/7 that I became an alcoholic myself. Still haven’t kicked that habit :(
My ex is the same way. Except nobody was alcoholic in his family he just does whatever he thinks gives him moral high ground over others.
Wow 🙏fir your delivernice and mine
My eldest daughter came to visit me this weekend. Initially things were going ok, then suddenly this morning I was subjected to her put downs and severe gaslighting. Telling me I said or did things I did not do and that I am delusional. She actually was blaming me for things her father said. Her two daughters have been brainwashed to hate me and I've only been good to her and those childen. I know she only comes here because she needs a place to stay in the summer close to the beach.
My younger daughter and her fiance live with me four years now, no arguments, we all get along and discuss issues and possible solutions without any fighting.
It's only when my eldest daughter comes here that she purposely starts put downs and trying to push my buttons to get me to come back at her in front of the kids, so that she can say see, I told you how she is. It is very hurtful to me, but I understand she wants to hurt me, and won't engage, which gets her even more angry.
I only let her come here so I can see the kids. There is always that part of me that wants to believe she wiil realize and will change, but my intellect tells me it will never happen. Everytime she leaves after a visit my anxiety level goes up, and I can't focus on doing anything and can't sleep. She tells the kids I don't go to their house to visit them, but when I go she treats me horrible. So i started staying in a hotel when I go so I dont have to stay at her house. and I dont always have the funds to do that, plus spend money taking the kids out. So I don't go.
I would just stay away from her if not for the kids.
Her dad was highly narcissistic and beat me and her up, that is why I left him. Yet she stands up for him and puts me down, and says I made her father leave. I had to get us away from him. I will not allow anyone to abuse me or my children.
I know I cannot do anything to help her as far as her abusive personality, she has to do that for herself. Her eldest daughter told me that a psychologicalist she went to see because her husband died told her he believes she is a boarderline, so my daughter got mad and walked out. Yelling that he doesn't know what the F--k he is talking about. She is in denial.
I can't stand talking to her or having her come here, and why would I want to go to their house and be treated like dirt?
She has not been able to get to my grandson, he tells her he doesn't care what she says, he loves me. At least I have that. He's a good kid and she tells him he is f--ken annoying little a--hole among other derogatory names. He only just turned 13.
She is a recovering addict who is now an alcoholic and the doctor told her she has to stop drinking but she does nothing.
Children services were called by some of her neighbors & have gone to her house numerous times but do nothing at all.
Sometimes I think I should sell my house and move out of the country so she can't find me. But, then I wouldn't see my grandson and the two girls they wouldn't care, bit she would tell them what a terrible person I am for leaving.
My younger daughter wants me to move away with her and her soon to be husband.
So what as a concerned parent or simply a human being can I do? absolutely nothing.
Ok, there is my vent for the month.
Sounds like you are taking all that shame on yourself. Deep down inside letting it get to you. Have you tried Alanon? Free yourself and find serenity and love instead of wanting to run / hide and live in denial of what you are letting someone elses behavior do to you.
🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
It sounds like she could lose the kids, and you might be the first in line to get custody? Which sounds like it could be the best thing for the kids. I wish you all luck.
My husband did the same thing. He’d drink a certain amount that would make him not be trashed. But he became so vile, evil and violent after even one beer.
My ex drank so much beer that he hardly ever ate anything. He always had problems with his stomach and he had diarrhea all of the time. He was antisocial and he spent most of his time alone and drunk
That’s a lot of beer
Omg ! My nex also drinks daily and goes overboard over the weekends . He has been diarrhoeaing for the past 23 years !! That is " normal" to him . . . Thank God I left him because dealing with his drunkenness took its toll on me n my sons . . .
Same here, he would get a beer after work, drink a case on his days off,
@@Blessed591 I left him after 3 months and he stalked me until he died in 2019 . His body was found by his apartment complex manager. He didn’t show up for work and his manager was looking for him . I truly believe that he hated himself and everything and everyone .
@@tmichele8922 my ex was a selfish drunk his mother needed surgery and he refused to get off work to support his mother during her surgery. Two months later his mother died. I didn’t attend the funeral because I didn’t want him to think that I still wanted him. He was a sadistic narcissistic drunk and he died the way he lived . Drunk and alone
Yes also it in my experience with narcissists...it makes them have more "empathy" but wait when that buzz wears off ugh
💯
My ex narc fireman is a hardcore drinker although he always denied. He would operate vehicles and his boat while being hammered. The older he gets, the worse it gets. So dysfunctional. I tried to help but was being stone walled. He doesn’t seem to slow down abusing people. He lies even more.
I APPRECIATE YOU AND ALL OF YOUR CONTENT 💜
5:32 my ex would also drink and not eat. He even believed he needed to drink to fall asleep. 😅
My narc ex has been passing out drunk every single night for the four years I dated him. And was able to get up for work the next day somehow. Would call me and say horrible things but say it didn't happen because he didn't remember it. He would pass out on the phone and I could hear him breathing but he wouldn't wake up. So glad I got away. 💔
The wider the gap between their false self and reality, the more alcohol the narcissist requires to bridge that mental gap
Yea…the narc I used to care about drinks a lot but said he would get sick afterwards because he’s a lightweight. Make it make sense!!! He smokes weed too AND lustful!!!Too many addictions for me🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️
#not4me
I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were he was going to kill himself if I didn't do what was asked, he would punch pillows or sofa, stand up against me and yell at my face, stand behind the car and not let me leave, sometimes we would be driving and he would threaten to swerve and hit any truck, hold my arms and shake me, push me aside to a wall, and much more. My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me. I wasn’t allowed to visit my family or friends. If I did or wanted to, I had to be ready for an argument. Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their son. Recently, I found out he was cheating on me and had a girlfriend. After seeing the texts and pictures, I became numb. I've been a good wife, I listened to every insult and fight. I never gave up what I knew, thanks to this hacker who's helped me to extract enough information from his device. Someone on here shared a link to the hacker who helped cloned his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to him and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and his long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him
On Instagram on
instagram.com/mark_clinton2424/
@maydavis7589: did you get my response from the last video you commented on my post?!?
@maydavis7589: thank you for your suggestion but I don’t care to know what he’s up to, who he doing, etc…I’m free and I’m not getting back on that hamster wheel 💯💯💯 I tried on numerous occasions to make him see the light and be of encouragement to him but he refused to connect the dots sooooooo…his life=his problem 😐😐😐
That is so true, the narcissist i Was with drink so much I was like what is wrong why you drink so much but now I know thank you😊
This makes sense. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and also indulged in other substances. He was also addicted to Adderall. He said he didn’t like being sober. He used to drink too much a lot of times. Many times he drank on an empty stomach! One time, I hid alcohol from him because I felt like he was overdoing it. Sometimes, he would go into rants while drinking. It was scary and I don’t miss it.
Most narcs never see themselves in the mirror. I have actually been made to believe that it is impossible for them.I am that person that believes in people, and the fact that you are standing here saying Hi it's ME IM the problem its ME! just makes me feel so much hope for others
My ex loves drinking alcohol. Also she did like shaming me a lot.
😩
@MentalHealness you know the sad thing? I still miss her and care about her, even though she doesn't truly feel the same about me!
100%, spent 5 years with one and he drank everyday to mask everything, but of course he forgot about the depression, jitters, etc. so there were no answers in the bottom of the beer glass, he never figured it out.
It’s Escapism!
And then we drink to avoid the shame they put on us! Seriously
Wow! I have never heard anyone else talk on this subject
I genuinely appreciate your voice and perspective
You are a gift
Thank tou for being vulnerable, honest and genuine
you’re welcome
How did you know this is exactly what I needed to hear right now?! ❤
Thank you so much for this video. Both my parents were alcoholic narcissists. I'm going to watch it again.
you’re welcome
My ex is both an alcoholic and a narcissist but i love and care for her but finished January this year after 8 years relationship, the quickly got someone else, which hurt me alot 😢
😔
They hate being alone with themselves, or worst, with their families which are the only people that can make them look in the mirror and get away with it. Be well, brother... let it go and make room for something better in your life.
So proud of you for choosing to love and respect yourself. It does get better, I promise.
I’ve been waiting on this since lastnight.
To me anyone who drinks DAILY the brown drink and also drinks beers have a MAJOR PROBLEM...but it's not my issue ANYMORE...THANK GOD!!!!!
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I feel like this is a daily cycle between my ex-husband and I. Things start out ok early in the day. Once the work day is over and the drinking has begun, things get worse as the evening goes on and usually ends up with him talking mean to me and really speaking his mind. We end up not speaking at bedtime because I choose to ignore him, then the cycle starts over again the next morning with nice words from him and apologies. I’m not sure why I continue to participate in this cycle. I know each day how it will end. I realize he drinks because he regrets things he’s done and it’s an escape from reality for him. He is an alcoholic and at one point before we divorced he was drinking before going to work in the mornings. I feel he may be doing that again but I can’t be sure. I really don’t care, but then again I know I do. 😩
You make a lot of sense. An ex of mine used alcohol to get very nasty. I guess that muted his shame until he didn’t need alcohol to humiliate and berate me. I couldn’t go out in public with him because at the end of the evening, I would have to wrestle and babysit an incoherent drunk.
I love the honesty and wisdom here.
appreciate it
He is completely on point here
💯 correct
To start with people we all are spiritual beings inside meat bodies
Shame is an unclean spirit, as many others with narcissism
According to both my father and my husband (both addicts and abusive narcissists) the drinking shuts the malevolent voices up. It also helps the victim voice be heard better.
My narc is the opposite they are more calmer when they drink
Thank you i been watching your videos our neighbor stole property wont let us do anything but he is a narcissist. Watching you help me learn i struggle from many mental illnesses. So i cominde you
Omg ! My nex also drinks daily and goes overboard over the weekends . He has been diarrhoeaing for the past 23 years !! That is " normal" to him . . . Thank God I left him because dealing with his drunkenness took its toll on me n my sons . . .
Year-by-year fight after fight, he slowly chipped away at me he took my self-esteem away. I started, become jealous because you showed other women more attention than me when we were ours. He did everything in his power to take me away from me. Thank God for therapy.
Studies have found that there's a direct correlation between grandiose narcissism and alcoholism, as well as vulnerable narcissism and stimulant abuse.
My ex is addicted to the green plant it was horrible
Thanks for info. He stated he stopped drinking liquor and only drink beer,he would drink a case of beer like it was nothing.
You are awesome! This was very helpful for me. Shame is a powerful thing.
Sadly you described my soon ex husband. 12 years I stuck by him. He backslid into over consumption of alcohol and God knows what else. He discarded me in May, he's shacked up with another drinker
I'm so happy for you!! I always say that but you make so much sense to me. This is hard for me to understand bc I don't feel this way. My mom is hurting so bad and I have no idea what happend to her to make her this way.
My dad did cheat on her with a lady in our church and she sat behind us every Sunday and my mom never knew it. Her sister and her husband and kids went to church with us and my uncles gf sat behind us as well. Both my mother and aunt were cheated on by other woman in the church. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ moma doesn't drink she mean enough with out alcohol. My ex husband was an alcoholic and it did ruin us..
I need to get a shirt that says I'm free. ❤ happy 4th have a great day Lee!!
Yo guys plz listen to that faithful guy who fight for us not for him, guys think about it everything he say for ya to win and let me tell yall I won with my cover narc a$$ thank you Lee I thank you everyday not even enough. How much you helped...
I learned so much form you you can’t even image thank for keeping it real we need that THANK YOU 🙏
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