I think there is a possibility that a guy could feel the chemistry but not want it - either because he is ashamed or you’re not like anyone he would typically date, or because his heart is elsewhere, regardless of what spark he feels with you. This has at least been the story of my life.
"Story of my life"... you are a beautiful and amazing woman! Ironically all the pain of this confused relationship helped me to learn the same! He is a good person, but so am I! I'm worthy of someone ready and able to love me now! SO ARE YOU!
I had to break up... he was too cool and detached that it turned me off ...even though I am sure he was interested in me... that’s a balance to find between hot and cold !
I'm male. there are good decent emotionally & hormonally balanced men still around. ur decision to break up was not a mistake. ditch the bum. good job. way to go !! it's unfortunate some men think its macho to portray indifference toward a girlfriend, and they give the entire male gender a bad rap... that's the tragedy. Some decent humane lucky guy will benefit from your decision to leave your previous unappreciative potential parther behind. Good Riddance.
I know this an old video but... high school NEVER ends! 😂 The games, the butterflies when you like someone, the love of gossip and general idiocy brought on by our hormones continues throughout life! Sorry to tell younger people this but its true. 🤷♀️
There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who is forthright about their feelings. If they like me, they’re not afraid to show it. They’re not going to play games on me like a child. Games are an immediate turn off and I will not play them anymore. I only go for men now who know what they want and have the confidence to go and get it and I’m the same. If I want it, I’ll go for it. If it ends up causing things to burn out, who cares? I know now that that person isn’t meant for me and I’m not wasting my damn time.
so, I'm experiencing this! and it makes me so crazy with this hot/cold behaviour! then I was telling a friend all about it and she pointed out that I'm doing it, as well! SHOCKER! I truly didn't realize that I was playing games! I can't figure him out, I cannot get him out of my mind, yet when I see him, I just walk away! help!
So realize what is your part. People like us tend to go for unavailable or deep down inside believe that's all we're worth! To be fair they are just as broken but we can't control that. Make it your priority to build self-confidence and self-esteem! We can do this!!
Ikr?! It's Motherly Wisdom. Plus, it validates many of the choices that I made and that I wasn't wrong for actually acting that way @ the time throughout my Life.
In my experience, everything you say correctly, plus they then want you to chase or initiate interaction so that they don’t have that responsibility if it goes south/sour. It’s immature. Men are not ‘Men’. I don’t initiate or chase when dating so it goes stale/south .. it’s sad.. their fears become their reality lol it’s all negative lol I have expressed my needs politely with no resolution except for that underlying fear on his part and I still suffer. Some guys are just too much of a headache no matter how much chemistry because their insecurity is so deep-rooted & it’s not healthy to get involved.
Thank you for sharing this i had the same exact thing as you and even though i m sure as hell he likes me a lot i will never ever give it another go because i know that his insecurities will always keep him from opening up and getting off his game board it is never going to be a healthy a relationship as you said
I hold stubborn traditional beliefs of the man pursuing the woman. In the end, what else will they refuse to do for the benefit of the relationship. I don’t want to ‘control’ to feel trust. 😔
@scott sanger Don't bother. Can't use logic and reason with women. They only hear what they want to hear if they even bother listening to you. No wife, happier life. No woman, no cry. Have a good day.
You are so right, that "chemistry" is buried under a rock so big I don't have time left in this life to move it out of the way. We can only control ourselves and none of this is healthy or long term unfortuantely. Time to heal, learn and move on. WE ARE WORTHY OF MORE!
Oh boy, you are so right, me down to a 'T'. I like this guy and there is chemistry but I try to dissuade myself from thinking he likes me because how could he possibly like ME! So I try to show I like him then close off, then regret it, then try again when I get a chance and close off again. What I want is for him to tell me he likes me, then I can safely say I 'like you'. What a coward, anyway I have run away from ever exposing my emotions to this guy by never ever again going to where I could bump into him. I am very sad because I could be missing out on a great relationship and great guy all because I fear rejection. So sad.
Susan I absolutely treasure how you consistently emphasize being both honest with yourself and straightforward in expressing your feelings to the other person and therefore gaining some resolution (even if it's not the resolution you desired). Thank you. You strengthen me.
Susan, I am actually watching your videos with pen and paper, carefully taking notes and pondering on all that I perceive like a student. I really want to be successful in my life and I believe that your insight is going to help me step up and to mature further. I want to walk in integrity and I want to maintain a pure heart. I want to be honest, without fear, bold, and I always want to walk in truth, without blemish. Please continue the good work and God bless you.
I think a lot of men who have dealt with younger women that are also immature (i.e, not all younger women are immature), have been 'burned' by opening up too soon, showing too much interest, etc. Hence the need for 'game'...it's not that a lot of men enjoy playing these games, but that it seems necessary in order to have the options we want. In a perfect world, we would all be open and straightforward 100% of the time, but that tends to scare a lot of people off. It seems easy to just blame anyone who plays games, but we all do it to some extent...it's not necessarily fear-based all the time...
Great advice....as ALWAYS!! Asking a man to have a cup of coffee ☕️ is the PERFECT line to say to a man since it’s not a dinner that one would be expected to engage further. GO FOR IT GIRL.....and if he says NO; which I know he won’t.....you will get a sense if your feelings were spot on. Great way to break the ice and have him reveal his true self!! GOOD LUCK to whoever is reading this!! ♥️😊♥️
I wish I came across your channel many years ago because I would have saved myself from so much heartache. I always leave your videos remembering my worth. Thank you ❤.
Omg! Allll your videos apply to me and are so very helpful in my times of need! Thanku for being such a relevant current Love guru online for all of us who need your advice! ❤
always feeling real empowered and super positive to listen and even relisten your videos year after !! Susan I can't say this to u enough - YOU ARE AWESOME !!! THE BEST KIND EVER !
Girl, u are SPOT ON! I finally came to the same conclusion and said exactly what you suggested. He evaporated the next day! That was 3 years ago. Saw him recently and the connection is exactly the same.
Excellent as always, Susan! Once again, you said things that I needed to hear. It's always better to have clarity. Btw your dog is adorable, what a cutie. 😊❤🐱
This is really good here and describers me, but like the guy's perspective. I got scared, he thought, wha? like I hated him or something, but it was the opposite. What she says at the end it is, just needed like an invitation to have a 'real conversation'.
How can you communicate your preference /standard when it comes to communication frequency/delays in responses to texts? Despite the guy liking you and reaching out sporadically. Note; it is a long distance in the very initial stages. Work also keeps him busy and traveling.
What if you've done all this then you approach the person and offered to go out for coffee or just talk instead of texting through messenger.... He texted me and says hey I've had a lot going on blah blah blah and he wanted me to promise that I would understand.... Then I told him I can't promise anything. Then I haven't heard from him in a week. But every week I see him and he sees me and then we turn our heads and walk away so I guess it's a hint to let this go.
I was watching another female relationship expert on TH-cam who says women should never ask men out or make the first move in fact they shouldn’t even initiate a conversation even once dating that this isn’t feminine and men get turned off on a subconscious level because they are taking charge and being masculine. Please address this in a video
ben bieber as a guy, I totally agree that when a woman acts very forward and direct in making advances, especially getting directly sexual (before anything sexual has happened), for some reason it makes my attraction go away sometimes. BUT i DEFINITELY don't agree that women should not initiate conversations or suggest meeting up. My ex started a convo with me waiting in line AND she asked for my number and I thought it was great
@@RG-hf4et I think it goes both ways though. Pretty sure that's how it is to women as well. But there will always be exceptions, like one of my friends.
Hi Susan, thanks for uploading quality content, can you do a video about Twin Flames? I met mine this summer, he acts like a counterfeit Twin Flame, anyway I've given up on him I'd just like your take on the whole concept, as well as what you've experienced/observed. Thanks again!
Games are for kids, games are for kids! I did this kind of stuff in my teens and twenties when I didn't know how to show my feelings. And the guys I knew also did it. But now that I'm 60, I have no time for the B.S. I don't like the hot and cold nonsense. Either show me you're interested or not. I never obsess about anyone anymore, thank God. I was hurt too many times when I thought some guy was attracted to me but was faking it. Never again.
So Susan, how to tell the difference between a gamer and that who is attracted but plays cool because he is unsure of his feelings? I am totally in a confusion zone with my co worker right now, yes I am obsessed, like him a lot, I am older and I told him I liked him just like this, he eventually asked me out and after I texted him my schedule, he was silent for 4 days, until we met at work again, and then he acted weird answering to my why you did not text me back question, saying oh I was resting (he is a night shift) and so what was the text about? I was so excited about going out with him, so excited, but I had to cancel b/c of that texting shit, because I am not a 16 years old, I am 60. I need your help.
Susan I have a co worker that texted me saying can he share something with me between him and I. I said sure. He texted me back saying he likes me more than he should. I told him i didnt know what to say to that. I have to admit I was attracted to him when he first started working there. We have been intimate by kissing in our office with the door locked. He tells me how serious he is about me. But when it comes to meeting outside of work he never shows and he wont respond to my texts. I really don't think he's interested anymore. Plus here's the kicker. I an 18 years older than him and he always says the age doesn't matter but then he avoids me outside of work. What is your insight on this.
Some guys may play it cool because that's what they are told to do by male advisors. Also sometimes I played it cool because girls are like squirrels sometimes if you make any sudden movements you'll scare them away.
I was in this situation not too long ago. There was definate chemistry on both sides the night we met. My sister happened to be there, also saw it, so I know so I wasn't deaming or projecting. Didn't hear from him. One week later, I invited him to a concert that I knew he would like. He said he had to work that night but didn't offer to get together either. Maybe I should have just suggested getting together for coffee like Susan suggested, something simple. I knew he had a bad surprise divorce about 2 years earlier and he said before we met that he was unsure about dating at this time. This was really disappointing.
Dated a girl for 9 months. One day she just acted like she didn't know me. She was the non-communicative, emotionally, obviously avoidant type. I left. My thought was, if she can do that once I can't ever trust her again. Didn't see her or hear of her for two years. When I did bump into her she acted like she didn't remember anything, I mean anything about me. I remember every detail of our relationship. I thought what an idiot, so disrespectful. So she was playing cool? What an idiot. She cost us the relationship. Wasted my time and money. I could have been dating a normal person but then it's my fault, I should have been a better person and attracted a higher quality girl. I still don't know what I saw in her. Talk about self sabotage.
There is a man at work does this to me but hes a lot younger than me. I just go with flow and im not bothered if nothing comes of it. While ago i would have obessed about it 😊
@yash choudhary Thanks. Yea if he asked me out i would but don't think that will happen 😀 your right i get a lot of interest of younger guys but not men my own age.
Susan you are the best. The exact same thing happened to me and I had no time or the heart go play these games so i got the bottom if it head on then moved on right after. Why play hide and and seek.
What if that person sends you choosing signals and when I reached out she told me she has a boyfriend, I see this person pretty often. She seems cool but can be cold at times.
we do it because everytime we don't do it, and show you that we're interested, you instantly lose any interest or attraction you had for us. that's why
I am not a teenager, and though I love this man...I don't remember all we have talked about because we know each other for 32 years....and I wish I never came back to talk to him.....
I have a fwb who am beginning to get feelings for n i told him he acted positively yet ...Recently i hurt his feeling i guess by flirting with another guy..He said he want to give me space to continue with the guy...Please what does his reaction shows? he decided to pull back hardly text hardly call and i decided to do same after some much apologies. It is okay as i learn back to? i need advice
Do you have a video how to approach women? I often find myself in the Position that women are looking at me in interest (as observed by me or friends/family) but i just cant approach. It would really help if you would have a video on a litte help guide
Simon Muhr hey I know you asked Susan, but I just happened to know of a you tuber I really like, named dan bacon, that specifically answers your question and he directs all his advice to men. Keep watching susan, too, though! She’s amazing! ;) Hope that is helpful to you!
Its depenss how to start this convo. If it starts by showing your standards og meaning that I, woman, is open to try and see where it is going on, then why not? If woman starts with demand for relationships then its sounds not feminine. Woman doesnot need to demand. She just need to show that she is right here and then bye, dear man. You can think whatever you want, but I have other things to do. Power of clarity. Guys, what do you think?
One of your commenters asked me to email him after joking/dialog with me for a bit. I said "no thanks, lonely ranger." And, then he told me that he's a nice guy, and that he tried. I asked him what he meant by saying he's a "nice guy" and he hasn't responded about what he meant by that. He might've not expected me to ask that. I've asked who this person is, but they don't say. They just tell me to email. I don't know who it is so I don't even know who is asking me to email them. What is usually meant when a guy describes himself as "nice guy?"
yash cho. 🤔 Hmmm...I suppose a nice guy is usually a friendly peacemaker type. He might be the type to avoid conflict. He may be quite loving and giving of his time and his affections to his family and spouse or friends. He might offer to be around for someone he cares about, like a friend or relative. I don't know if that's what other people think it means though. That's what the person said. He said he's a "nice guy." (Shrugs) He didn't say he'd specifically be nice to me, or something like that. He just said he's "nice."
yash cho. "...your kind of nice guy." I didn't say it was my kind of nice guy. I didn't even say if I like "nice guys." I just said that the person was referring to themselves (saying to me) that he says he is a "nice guy."
Great video. I never get a positive response when I show my hand. Guys who told me they were into me run when they find out I like them back. lol. I'm getting used to it, though. I just think I'm cursed, that or 80% of gay men are narcissists.
That or in 2020 we still can't face the reality of who we are - the double dip is that we're men, we don't have feelings, right! What a "happy" mess. Same happened to me, but it sounds like straight people are right there with us! LOL
A guy likes a girl and thinks that she deserves his good sides. She deserves to be taken out to a date and etc. He can't give it to her for many reasons, but the main reason is that he is not ready to take the responsibility. He wants to walk free and don't be obliged with anything
Hi Susan! Q: I have met someone new and he treats me very well. However, he has no car, no licence, no ID (obviously has a criminal background of some sort) he is bad with money, sleeps on a couch and is always disorganised. He is a single father of two, and I worry his children (whom I have not met yet) are of poor nutrition due to his habits. What is a woman to do? I feel like getting serious with him would hold me back in life. I do not want to be shallow and not date someone who is lovely and kind at heart because they are poor.
Hi everyone, i was recently chasing too much after a girl and this has made her lose some interest in me. What should i do to gain back her interest?? No contact or something else? And also we are on holiday and since the last day of college she has been chatting and talking less and less with me.. and arriving at some point she even dont repond sometime.. please help me what to do???😓😓
I love your videos, but I think this one was kind of condescending. I agree that we must have courage to express our feelings and deal with the outcome. But I think lots of times there is no chemistry from both sides and there is no interest as well. There must be a daydreamer in love with some very friendly person (or a narcisistic one)... and thats just it. Thats why they dont remember all the aspects of their conversations... because it just doesnt matter enough for them. Anyway, I agree we should express our feelings as directly as we can, and find out in wich scenario we stand.
@@PeaceFan1 maybe you're right... oh maybe, the projection is to naively believe that if we feel something, the other person "gotta be feeling" the same way.
P I agree with you, but I think she's addressing a situation where there is attraction from both people. My guy does this kind of stuff, but I know he really does care & want me, but he has his own issues to deal with. Until he does, things won't change much.
“Anyone who is frightened will play games”
golden!
I think there is a possibility that a guy could feel the chemistry but not want it - either because he is ashamed or you’re not like anyone he would typically date, or because his heart is elsewhere, regardless of what spark he feels with you. This has at least been the story of my life.
"Story of my life"... you are a beautiful and amazing woman! Ironically all the pain of this confused relationship helped me to learn the same! He is a good person, but so am I! I'm worthy of someone ready and able to love me now! SO ARE YOU!
Just because someone doesn't appreciate your value doesn't mean someone else won't. But you have to appreciate your own value.
They are sometimes married and can’t !!!!!
Just for you guys peace of mind, as a guy I can assure you this is spot on, this is exactly what we do, I did just yesterday and regret it.
I had to break up... he was too cool and detached that it turned me off ...even though I am sure he was interested in me... that’s a balance to find between hot and cold !
I'm male. there are good decent emotionally & hormonally balanced men still around. ur decision to break up was not a mistake. ditch the bum. good job. way to go !! it's unfortunate some men think its macho to portray indifference toward a girlfriend, and they give the entire male gender a bad rap... that's the tragedy. Some decent humane lucky guy will benefit from your decision to leave your previous unappreciative potential parther behind. Good Riddance.
“They display Opposite of Truth”. So true!
I know this an old video but... high school NEVER ends! 😂 The games, the butterflies when you like someone, the love of gossip and general idiocy brought on by our hormones continues throughout life! Sorry to tell younger people this but its true. 🤷♀️
There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who is forthright about their feelings. If they like me, they’re not afraid to show it. They’re not going to play games on me like a child. Games are an immediate turn off and I will not play them anymore. I only go for men now who know what they want and have the confidence to go and get it and I’m the same. If I want it, I’ll go for it. If it ends up causing things to burn out, who cares? I know now that that person isn’t meant for me and I’m not wasting my damn time.
so, I'm experiencing this! and it makes me so crazy with this hot/cold behaviour! then I was telling a friend all about it and she pointed out that I'm doing it, as well! SHOCKER! I truly didn't realize that I was playing games! I can't figure him out, I cannot get him out of my mind, yet when I see him, I just walk away! help!
So realize what is your part. People like us tend to go for unavailable or deep down inside believe that's all we're worth! To be fair they are just as broken but we can't control that. Make it your priority to build self-confidence and self-esteem! We can do this!!
Susan you rule!!!! You make me feel like everything is going to be okay! Haha! Thanks for your wise words.
Ikr?! It's Motherly Wisdom. Plus, it validates many of the choices that I made and that I wasn't wrong for actually acting that way @ the time throughout my Life.
In my experience, everything you say correctly, plus they then want you to chase or initiate interaction so that they don’t have that responsibility if it goes south/sour. It’s immature. Men are not ‘Men’.
I don’t initiate or chase when dating so it goes stale/south .. it’s sad.. their fears become their reality lol it’s all negative lol I have expressed my needs politely with no resolution except for that underlying fear on his part and I still suffer. Some guys are just too much of a headache no matter how much chemistry because their insecurity is so deep-rooted & it’s not healthy to get involved.
Thank you for sharing this i had the same exact thing as you and even though i m sure as hell he likes me a lot i will never ever give it another go because i know that his insecurities will always keep him from opening up and getting off his game board it is never going to be a healthy a relationship as you said
I hold stubborn traditional beliefs of the man pursuing the woman. In the end, what else will they refuse to do for the benefit of the relationship. I don’t want to ‘control’ to feel trust. 😔
@scott sanger Don't bother. Can't use logic and reason with women. They only hear what they want to hear if they even bother listening to you. No wife, happier life. No woman, no cry. Have a good day.
Herd animals deserve to be where they are shepherded.
You are so right, that "chemistry" is buried under a rock so big I don't have time left in this life to move it out of the way. We can only control ourselves and none of this is healthy or long term unfortuantely. Time to heal, learn and move on. WE ARE WORTHY OF MORE!
Oh boy, you are so right, me down to a 'T'. I like this guy and there is chemistry but I try to dissuade myself from thinking he likes me because how could he possibly like ME! So I try to show I like him then close off, then regret it, then try again when I get a chance and close off again. What I want is for him to tell me he likes me, then I can safely say I 'like you'. What a coward, anyway I have run away from ever exposing my emotions to this guy by never ever again going to where I could bump into him. I am very sad because I could be missing out on a great relationship and great guy all because I fear rejection. So sad.
Susan I absolutely treasure how you consistently emphasize being both honest with yourself and straightforward in expressing your feelings to the other person and therefore gaining some resolution (even if it's not the resolution you desired). Thank you. You strengthen me.
HI Bryan. Thanks for this note!
That is a nice line: "You strengthen me." Somehow very powerful! I will write it down.
@@SusanWinter Hello Susan, I love watching your videos. If I need to send a question, where should I send it? Thank you so much :)
A unique relationship coach. Great video as always. Thank you for being there for us.
Thaks Pov
Susan, I am actually watching your videos with pen and paper, carefully taking notes and pondering on all that I perceive like a student. I really want to be successful in my life and I believe that your insight is going to help me step up and to mature further. I want to walk in integrity and I want to maintain a pure heart. I want to be honest, without fear, bold, and I always want to walk in truth, without blemish. Please continue the good work and God bless you.
Jannie Schlüter i take notes as well🌚
Cool! What an attitude to this!!!
Just a quick note. You rock..
Wish I could be as confident as you are. I do listen and will keep moving forward with your help. Keep up the positive.
Sending Love ❤️…Carol…Are you single?
I think a lot of men who have dealt with younger women that are also immature (i.e, not all younger women are immature), have been 'burned' by opening up too soon, showing too much interest, etc. Hence the need for 'game'...it's not that a lot of men enjoy playing these games, but that it seems necessary in order to have the options we want. In a perfect world, we would all be open and straightforward 100% of the time, but that tends to scare a lot of people off. It seems easy to just blame anyone who plays games, but we all do it to some extent...it's not necessarily fear-based all the time...
your vids are helping me get through a really, really rough time. thank you so much. you have no idea how much listening to you calms me.
Same here.. ❤️
Great advice....as ALWAYS!! Asking a man to have a cup of coffee ☕️ is the PERFECT line to say to a man since it’s not a dinner that one would be expected to engage further. GO FOR IT GIRL.....and if he says NO; which I know he won’t.....you will get a sense if your feelings were spot on. Great way to break the ice and have him reveal his true self!!
GOOD LUCK to whoever is reading this!! ♥️😊♥️
Thank you!
The only slight pause I would put on it is to indicate this isn't just friendly or a business meeting.
We love Nikka!💗 she can be your little love expert sidekick😄
Love it: my sidekick!
I love all your videos... always very helpful and to the point. Thank you so much ❤
Great! Would appreciate your answer to the question "Why do *they* tend to hurt even though *they* love?".
I wish I came across your channel many years ago because I would have saved myself from so much heartache. I always leave your videos remembering my worth. Thank you ❤.
Omg! Allll your videos apply to me and are so very helpful in my times of need! Thanku for being such a relevant current Love guru online for all of us who need your advice! ❤
Sending Love ❤️…Cindy…Are you single?
Excellent video. Right to the point.
always feeling real empowered and super positive to listen and even relisten your videos year after !! Susan I can't say this to u enough - YOU ARE AWESOME !!! THE BEST KIND EVER !
Girl, u are SPOT ON! I finally came to the same conclusion and said exactly what you suggested. He evaporated the next day! That was 3 years ago. Saw him recently and the connection is exactly the same.
Excellent as always, Susan! Once again, you said things that I needed to hear. It's always better to have clarity. Btw your dog is adorable, what a cutie. 😊❤🐱
This is really good here and describers me, but like the guy's perspective. I got scared, he thought, wha? like I hated him or something, but it was the opposite. What she says at the end it is, just needed like an invitation to have a 'real conversation'.
How can you communicate your preference /standard when it comes to communication frequency/delays in responses to texts? Despite the guy liking you and reaching out sporadically. Note; it is a long distance in the very initial stages. Work also keeps him busy and traveling.
Love how you said what you said about working your truth from inside out or from outside to within 😇
Thanx Susan.. needed to hear this. Love from South Africa
I love your little dog.. she is adorable.
Truly! Happy Face too.
Susan would you please do a video on no contact after a breakup?? Thanks😘
What if you've done all this then you approach the person and offered to go out for coffee or just talk instead of texting through messenger....
He texted me and says hey I've had a lot going on blah blah blah and he wanted me to promise that I would understand.... Then I told him I can't promise anything. Then I haven't heard from him in a week. But every week I see him and he sees me and then we turn our heads and walk away so I guess it's a hint to let this go.
I was watching another female relationship expert on TH-cam who says women should never ask men out or make the first move in fact they shouldn’t even initiate a conversation even once dating that this isn’t feminine and men get turned off on a subconscious level because they are taking charge and being masculine. Please address this in a video
good suggestion. Thanks
ben bieber as a guy, I totally agree that when a woman acts very forward and direct in making advances, especially getting directly sexual (before anything sexual has happened), for some reason it makes my attraction go away sometimes. BUT i DEFINITELY don't agree that women should not initiate conversations or suggest meeting up. My ex started a convo with me waiting in line AND she asked for my number and I thought it was great
I think it only turns men off if they're not really into you
@@rebelpoxy It's great if they like you. It's a turnoff if they don't like you.
@@RG-hf4et I think it goes both ways though. Pretty sure that's how it is to women as well. But there will always be exceptions, like one of my friends.
I love this question as
Much as I love love love your answer, Susan.
Thank you Susan.
Hi Susan, thanks for uploading quality content, can you do a video about Twin Flames? I met mine this summer, he acts like a counterfeit Twin Flame, anyway I've given up on him I'd just like your take on the whole concept, as well as what you've experienced/observed. Thanks again!
Games are for kids, games are for kids! I did this kind of stuff in my teens and twenties when I didn't know how to show my feelings. And the guys I knew also did it. But now that I'm 60, I have no time for the B.S. I don't like the hot and cold nonsense. Either show me you're interested or not. I never obsess about anyone anymore, thank God. I was hurt too many times when I thought some guy was attracted to me but was faking it. Never again.
Sending Love ❤️….Lisa…Are you single?
I so appreciate your help.i have a time listening to my lovly momasitas.thank here's my hug baby
Words of wisdom as always Susan. Right on the money 👌🏻
What would be a good "invitation" for Conversation?
So Susan, how to tell the difference between a gamer and that who is attracted but plays cool because he is unsure of his feelings? I am totally in a confusion zone with my co worker right now, yes I am obsessed, like him a lot, I am older and I told him I liked him just like this, he eventually asked me out and after I texted him my schedule, he was silent for 4 days, until we met at work again, and then he acted weird answering to my why you did not text me back question, saying oh I was resting (he is a night shift) and so what was the text about? I was so excited about going out with him, so excited, but I had to cancel b/c of that texting shit, because I am not a 16 years old, I am 60. I need your help.
Susan I have a co worker that texted me saying can he share something with me between him and I. I said sure. He texted me back saying he likes me more than he should. I told him i didnt know what to say to that. I have to admit I was attracted to him when he first started working there. We have been intimate by kissing in our office with the door locked. He tells me how serious he is about me. But when it comes to meeting outside of work he never shows and he wont respond to my texts. I really don't think he's interested anymore. Plus here's the kicker. I an 18 years older than him and he always says the age doesn't matter but then he avoids me outside of work. What is your insight on this.
Sending Love ❤️…..Are you single?
Expert analysis. Thanks for these videos.
Some guys may play it cool because that's what they are told to do by male advisors. Also sometimes I played it cool because girls are like squirrels sometimes if you make any sudden movements you'll scare them away.
I was in this situation not too long ago. There was definate chemistry on both sides the night we met. My sister happened to be there, also saw it, so I know so I wasn't deaming or projecting. Didn't hear from him. One week later, I invited him to a concert that I knew he would like. He said he had to work that night but didn't offer to get together either. Maybe I should have just suggested getting together for coffee like Susan suggested, something simple. I knew he had a bad surprise divorce about 2 years earlier and he said before we met that he was unsure about dating at this time. This was really disappointing.
I think he wasn't interested enough...
Keep up the great work Susan!! :)
Your right.😔
Your videos are always amazing!
You give excellent advice it would be an honor to have a conversation with you
Susan! I love your videos so much!! Thank you for your insight
I just wondering why the person who wish to have the other person don’t call direct and tell him or him that they want to see each other
Afraid of rejection and making a fool outta oneself. Bc in the end most of us are not 100% sure if we read the cues right.
Dated a girl for 9 months. One day she just acted like she didn't know me. She was the non-communicative, emotionally, obviously avoidant type. I left. My thought was, if she can do that once I can't ever trust her again. Didn't see her or hear of her for two years. When I did bump into her she acted like she didn't remember anything, I mean anything about me. I remember every detail of our relationship. I thought what an idiot, so disrespectful. So she was playing cool? What an idiot. She cost us the relationship. Wasted my time and money. I could have been dating a normal person but then it's my fault, I should have been a better person and attracted a higher quality girl. I still don't know what I saw in her. Talk about self sabotage.
Much love from Bosnia and Herzegovina, you are indeed amazing person 😇😙🍀👑💐🌹
Thanx Susan u r fantastic - Greetings from Greece
There is a man at work does this to me but hes a lot younger than me. I just go with flow and im not bothered if nothing comes of it. While ago i would have obessed about it 😊
@yash choudhary Thanks. Yea if he asked me out i would but don't think that will happen 😀 your right i get a lot of interest of younger guys but not men my own age.
You are so pleasant to watch 😊
Susan you are the best. The exact same thing happened to me and I had no time or the heart go play these games so i got the bottom if it head on then moved on right after. Why play hide and and seek.
What if that person sends you choosing signals and when I reached out she told me she has a boyfriend, I see this person pretty often. She seems cool but can be cold at times.
You are adorable! OMG You are soooo right 🤣🤣🤣
Awww gorgeous Nikka! I love dogs like her 😍
how come the explanation of a player here is put in such a positive light whereas in others, its not
we do it because everytime we don't do it, and show you that we're interested, you instantly lose any interest or attraction you had for us. that's why
I am not a teenager, and though I love this man...I don't remember all we have talked about because we know each other for 32 years....and I wish I never came back to talk to him.....
And NO I thought after I had gotten married to my second husband all that was over...but NO he passed and I fell for his friend
What is the name of video where you explain that some men act as cold but they care for one.
Love your videos and your cute dog!
I have a fwb who am beginning to get feelings for n i told him he acted positively yet ...Recently i hurt his feeling i guess by flirting with another guy..He said he want to give me space to continue with the guy...Please what does his reaction shows? he decided to pull back hardly text hardly call and i decided to do same after some much apologies. It is okay as i learn back to? i need advice
Thanks Susan
Can you do a video on ghosting after you've been in a relationship for nearly 4 months?
Omg, dont look back. What a horrible person.
kelpiegirl that's what I thought too. I deleted him, no answers.
@@blondeegirl00Sending Love ❤️…Are you single?
What if the girl is lying to herself about how she really feels?
Walk away from kind games as doon as you feel it. Their loss
Amazing channel x
Do you have a video how to approach women? I often find myself in the Position that women are looking at me in interest (as observed by me or friends/family) but i just cant approach. It would really help if you would have a video on a litte help guide
Simon Muhr hey I know you asked Susan, but I just happened to know of a you tuber I really like, named dan bacon, that specifically answers your question and he directs all his advice to men. Keep watching susan, too, though! She’s amazing! ;) Hope that is helpful to you!
Thanks
Susan, do you do one on ones? Do you have a link?
The little Scottie dog stole the show
To borrow your phrase, don't blow up the bridge. It worked for me even in a friendship.
You are very helpful..❤
OMG your puppy is so gorgeous.
Its depenss how to start this convo. If it starts by showing your standards og meaning that I, woman, is open to try and see where it is going on, then why not? If woman starts with demand for relationships then its sounds not feminine. Woman doesnot need to demand. She just need to show that she is right here and then bye, dear man. You can think whatever you want, but I have other things to do. Power of clarity. Guys, what do you think?
One of your commenters asked me to email him after joking/dialog with me for a bit. I said "no thanks, lonely ranger." And, then he told me that he's a nice guy, and that he tried. I asked him what he meant by saying he's a "nice guy" and he hasn't responded about what he meant by that. He might've not expected me to ask that. I've asked who this person is, but they don't say. They just tell me to email. I don't know who it is so I don't even know who is asking me to email them. What is usually meant when a guy describes himself as "nice guy?"
yash chou. What about you is the reason that you think of yourself as a "nice guy?" What does "nice" mean to you?
yash cho. 🤔 Hmmm...I suppose a nice guy is usually a friendly peacemaker type. He might be the type to avoid conflict. He may be quite loving and giving of his time and his affections to his family and spouse or friends. He might offer to be around for someone he cares about, like a friend or relative. I don't know if that's what other people think it means though.
That's what the person said. He said he's a "nice guy." (Shrugs)
He didn't say he'd specifically be nice to me, or something like that. He just said he's "nice."
yash cho. "...your kind of nice guy." I didn't say it was my kind of nice guy. I didn't even say if I like "nice guys." I just said that the person was referring to themselves (saying to me) that he says he is a "nice guy."
yash cho. I don't have an Instagram account.
Thank you susan ... Nikka is soòooo beautiful.
I love you SUSAN! 💕🦋
Awesome
Great video. I never get a positive response when I show my hand. Guys who told me they were into me run when they find out I like them back. lol. I'm getting used to it, though. I just think I'm cursed, that or 80% of gay men are narcissists.
That or in 2020 we still can't face the reality of who we are - the double dip is that we're men, we don't have feelings, right! What a "happy" mess. Same happened to me, but it sounds like straight people are right there with us! LOL
Nikka is a scene stealer!
A guy likes a girl and thinks that she deserves his good sides. She deserves to be taken out to a date and etc. He can't give it to her for many reasons, but the main reason is that he is not ready to take the responsibility. He wants to walk free and don't be obliged with anything
"Welcome to the modern period of dating" :D
Nikita is gorgeous love her already.🙂
I have this with a man. but it is against the rules of my apt government building to ask me out.
''welcome to our time period of dating'' well, crap
Hi Susan! Q: I have met someone new and he treats me very well. However, he has no car, no licence, no ID (obviously has a criminal background of some sort) he is bad with money, sleeps on a couch and is always disorganised. He is a single father of two, and I worry his children (whom I have not met yet) are of poor nutrition due to his habits. What is a woman to do? I feel like getting serious with him would hold me back in life. I do not want to be shallow and not date someone who is lovely and kind at heart because they are poor.
But your advice would be more complicated when the spark is between exes?
Oops sorry, I hit the cat icon instead of the dog, my bad
🐶💖
Oh, it's mos def not a Sex based issue. I've been there many times.
Susan can you please make a video about dating single mothers?
Hi everyone, i was recently chasing too much after a girl and this has made her lose some interest in me. What should i do to gain back her interest?? No contact or something else? And also we are on holiday and since the last day of college she has been chatting and talking less and less with me.. and arriving at some point she even dont repond sometime..
please help me what to do???😓😓
Get busy with your own life.
@@kelpiegirl she will come back then?
Maybe, maybe not but you win either way.
@@kelpiegirl thanks for the advice
Nikka is sooo cute. What breed is she?
I love your videos, but I think this one was kind of condescending. I agree that we must have courage to express our feelings and deal with the outcome. But I think lots of times there is no chemistry from both sides and there is no interest as well. There must be a daydreamer in love with some very friendly person (or a narcisistic one)... and thats just it.
Thats why they dont remember all the aspects of their conversations... because it just doesnt matter enough for them.
Anyway, I agree we should express our feelings as directly as we can, and find out in wich scenario we stand.
Susan ISN'T Condescending at ALL in this Video!!! That is YOU Projecting!!!
@@PeaceFan1 maybe you're right...
oh maybe, the projection is to naively believe that if we feel something, the other person "gotta be feeling" the same way.
P I agree with you, but I think she's addressing a situation where there is attraction from both people.
My guy does this kind of stuff, but I know he really does care & want me, but he has his own issues to deal with. Until he does, things won't change much.