Force yourself to talk to them, this is called courage. Courage is not the absence of fear it is the management of fear. Just do it means jump into the situation, do not wait to be "motivated." No one will come to your house to do it for you. And don't expect to be perfect, no one else is. :) The bad "what if" voice in my head thinking of all the things that could go wrong was my biggest problem, so I got rid of it. I changed my thinking to SEE all the things I enjoy, and did not worry about the rest.
It is always better to act than regretting not acting later. :) When it comes to relationships and other people, what is the worst thing that can happen? You might get rejected, but you won't have lost anything. Best case scenario? You will get a wonderful opportunity to engage with another human being. Don't overstay your welcome though - engage, connect and then withdraw. Then re-engage at a later point in time, if you sense there is a connection, but never be needy.
i do agree totally .. for us "ladies" we always think that men have to do every single step from A to Z. n we understand the concept in a wrong way .. giving the green light .. smiling .. or even talking what we want and feel obviously .. is strength .. and .. its always better to act than regretting not acting later .. :)
Omg, the timing on this vid is perfect. It just popped up! I have to gather the courage to contact someone that I used to work with and ask him if he's seeing someone and maybe go out on a date if he's single. I've never done this before but there is a first time for everything. Oh boy. This is gonna be tricky but I can't stop thinking about him...lol
I did just that in church one day presenting myself to her with a fun Halloween card. An ice breaker for someone who was like a ship passing at sea. It worked, slow but we're friends interacting with limited talk and nonverbal.
I may have done it right to my crush who is sadly already taken, and as I observe the relationship is stable and his girlfriend is a sort of a sensible person. If ever he was free and available, things may have progressed between us two after that simple confession that I like him. Nonetheless, I'm glad that we're still good friends and we tend to have a civil and cordial interaction whenever we talk. I just don't contact him too often, especially when it is nothing important, all for boundaries' sake.
What do you say (as a man approaching a women) to someone who you won’t meet again ? It’s not repetitive ? I know asking for contacts maybe heavy on that person ...
Hi Susan , may i ask you a question? My ex and i work together in the same office, i am not over him yet and seeing him everyday makes it difficult for me to move on. I still feel anger and sadness towards him for breaking up with me. It happened about a month ago. We are both invited to a b-day party on saturday, should i go? :( i am afraid i will go there with expectations that he will pay attention to me, even cuddle with me or etc. please what can i do? :(
If you would normally go to this birthday party, then go. Go LATE and leave EARLY. Just make an appearance. Tell the host you have to be somewhere else but will stop by so it gives them a realistic idea about food. With your ex: As you pass by, say hello, small smile, AND KEEP MOVING. Others may be watching on how you two react. DO Not start talking and do NOT get into ANY conversation, even if it's about the weather. You should be doing this at work, too. Always keep your chin up, be polite if there must be an interaction, and KEEP MOVING. Pretend if you have to that he has the flu and how would you act then? You are hoping for a re-connection. He broke up with you. He is no longer interested. He may even bring a date. As much as it still hurts, if you can't keep moving or keep watching him that night or feel the need to interact with him, then my suggestion is don't go. This happened to me. I was at a friends picnic. He broke things off & I was very hurt. He came later & went around to everyone to say hello. When he said hello to me, I just nodded with no response. Later on, I found out that he got upset bc he thought I was ok with our breakup and that's why he was invited & that's why he came. I stayed for about 40 minutes and left. It was too painful to be there and I was watching every move he made behind my sunglasses. I felt better after I left.
G R thank you for your attention and reply :) today i said in the office that i cant come to the party as i am also invited to a wedding and i have to go there and he told me “stop acting like you are not coming, i am sure you will still come” . I hate these comments )) so i thought the following: 1. Since he”s so sure that i will arrive at the party (even late, after wedding) this make me more eager not to go and make him say “yeah i knew she’d come” 2. Go to the party early just to show up and maybe help the host with arrangements, show up all dressed up and then leave as if i am going to a wedding.
@@ОРХИДЕЯ4 I don't know but it sounds like this guy is cocky & is sending mixed messages to you. He's expecting/wants you to show up one way or the other. If you used the wedding excuse already, I personally wouldn't go - you should be too busy to even make an appearance. If someone goes to a wedding & reception, it usually takes up most of the day. Plus, he will wonder who you went with. If he asks if you have a date, don't answer, it's none of his business at this point. ......If you show up alone "after the wedding", he will know you went alone because most people would bring their date & you won't have a date...... I don't think I would go after hearing all of this. Why play into his mixed messages? It's like he's putting a carrot out in front of you and he is hoping you will nibble on it. He either wants to be with you or he doesn't. He told you he doesn't. BELIEVE HIM. He just hasn't found a replacement yet.
Hi Susan, I finally found a dating coach who makes me feel much more confident of myself in terms of dating! Thanks for all your insightful contents 😘 I always have this question, and see this happening a lot: can guys pretend to have strong interest and back off completely? FYI, through being painfully ghosted a few times, I can recognise the masked and the genuine interest. But still, the genuine guy stops talking after that first date 🤷🏻♀️
Im jn love with a person, we are completely different and we have different cultures. Hes a youtuber and id never reach for him, hes 23 and im underage Hes in another country Hes hacinf a completely different life Im the opposite It hurts so much
You talk online and get to know them. Talk about casual things like their favorite tv shows, movies, or a hobby they mentioned in their profile. Look at their profile for topics to talk about. If you talk for, say, 30 minutes, you can move on. Then tomorrow show more interest in them or they will assume you are not interested. Showing interest and continuing the conversation the next day is NOT being desperate. Next, this is what I do, keep talking for about a week to get to know them more. If you like, talk on the phone. After 4-7 conversations on different days, determine if you want to ask them out. Then ask them out.
@@crawfish069 I'm not one for small chit chat. If I like someone, an email or 2 or 3, then decide to meet sooner rather than later. I'd like to meet someone in person if I got a spark from their profile. And I am very selective, so this rarely happens. I have had several guys do the small chit chatting with me (they started the conversations and I reluctantly went along) and all just vanished into thin air. Two asked me specifically to meet them which I would have liked to have done, but after I said yes, they disappeared. I think a lot of these on line guys are talking to a ton of women at the same time for entertainment, an ego boost or because they are lonely.
If someone thinks you look pathetic for making a move you don't want them in your life. You don't want that negativity!
Does anyone else want to just sit down and have a talk with Susan about your love life crisis? 😂 Because Same
Same
Whats a way to respond back to some person online calling you a thot, etc.?
@@aa-jm7js block them
Force yourself to talk to them, this is called courage. Courage is not the absence of fear it is the management of fear. Just do it means jump into the situation, do not wait to be "motivated." No one will come to your house to do it for you. And don't expect to be perfect, no one else is. :) The bad "what if" voice in my head thinking of all the things that could go wrong was my biggest problem, so I got rid of it. I changed my thinking to SEE all the things I enjoy, and did not worry about the rest.
It is always better to act than regretting not acting later. :)
When it comes to relationships and other people, what is the worst thing that can happen?
You might get rejected, but you won't have lost anything.
Best case scenario? You will get a wonderful opportunity to engage with another human being.
Don't overstay your welcome though - engage, connect and then withdraw.
Then re-engage at a later point in time, if you sense there is a connection, but never be needy.
i do agree totally ..
for us "ladies" we always think that men have to do every single step from A to Z.
n we understand the concept in a wrong way ..
giving the green light .. smiling .. or even talking what we want and feel obviously .. is strength ..
and .. its always better to act than regretting not acting later ..
:)
Nice summary!
I agree. But what if he’s your best friend (who you’re in love with) and you’re scared to lose the friendship?
Brillant question, brillant answer and brillant timing. Thanks to both.
Omg, the timing on this vid is perfect. It just popped up! I have to gather the courage to contact someone that I used to work with and ask him if he's seeing someone and maybe go out on a date if he's single. I've never done this before but there is a first time for everything. Oh boy. This is gonna be tricky but I can't stop thinking about him...lol
How'd it go? :-)
Being clever and unique in your first message or approach will be remembered.
Oh my goodness where did you purchase that gorgeous dress? So my style. You look great! Love it
you look gorgeous in your dress! also thank you for your helpful videos!
You are so helpful! Thank you for making these videos.
Susan, thanks for sharing.
I'd love to just talk to him but we work at the same place so I don't want it to be awkward if he doesn't like me back.
I did just that in church one day presenting myself to her with a fun Halloween card. An ice breaker for someone who was like a ship passing at sea. It worked, slow but we're friends interacting with limited talk and nonverbal.
I may have done it right to my crush who is sadly already taken, and as I observe the relationship is stable and his girlfriend is a sort of a sensible person. If ever he was free and available, things may have progressed between us two after that simple confession that I like him. Nonetheless, I'm glad that we're still good friends and we tend to have a civil and cordial interaction whenever we talk. I just don't contact him too often, especially when it is nothing important, all for boundaries' sake.
Another great one. Thanks Susan.😘
Action speak louder than words
thank you. you help me explore myself.
I love watching your videos your very helpful 👍
Thank you Susan for the,
Beautiful Heart, And liking
My Comment,
What do you say (as a man approaching a women) to someone who you won’t meet again ? It’s not repetitive ? I know asking for contacts maybe heavy on that person ...
Hi Susan , may i ask you a question? My ex and i work together in the same office, i am not over him yet and seeing him everyday makes it difficult for me to move on. I still feel anger and sadness towards him for breaking up with me. It happened about a month ago. We are both invited to a b-day party on saturday, should i go? :( i am afraid i will go there with expectations that he will pay attention to me, even cuddle with me or etc. please what can i do? :(
If you would normally go to this birthday party, then go. Go LATE and leave EARLY. Just make an appearance. Tell the host you have to be somewhere else but will stop by so it gives them a realistic idea about food. With your ex: As you pass by, say hello, small smile, AND KEEP MOVING. Others may be watching on how you two react. DO Not start talking and do NOT get into ANY conversation, even if it's about the weather. You should be doing this at work, too. Always keep your chin up, be polite if there must be an interaction, and KEEP MOVING. Pretend if you have to that he has the flu and how would you act then? You are hoping for a re-connection. He broke up with you. He is no longer interested. He may even bring a date. As much as it still hurts, if you can't keep moving or keep watching him that night or feel the need to interact with him, then my suggestion is don't go. This happened to me. I was at a friends picnic. He broke things off & I was very hurt. He came later & went around to everyone to say hello. When he said hello to me, I just nodded with no response. Later on, I found out that he got upset bc he thought I was ok with our breakup and that's why he was invited & that's why he came. I stayed for about 40 minutes and left. It was too painful to be there and I was watching every move he made behind my sunglasses. I felt better after I left.
G R thank you for your attention and reply :) today i said in the office that i cant come to the party as i am also invited to a wedding and i have to go there and he told me “stop acting like you are not coming, i am sure you will still come” . I hate these comments )) so i thought the following: 1. Since he”s so sure that i will arrive at the party (even late, after wedding) this make me more eager not to go and make him say “yeah i knew she’d come” 2. Go to the party early just to show up and maybe help the host with arrangements, show up all dressed up and then leave as if i am going to a wedding.
@@ОРХИДЕЯ4 I don't know but it sounds like this guy is cocky & is sending mixed messages to you. He's expecting/wants you to show up one way or the other. If you used the wedding excuse already, I personally wouldn't go - you should be too busy to even make an appearance. If someone goes to a wedding & reception, it usually takes up most of the day. Plus, he will wonder who you went with. If he asks if you have a date, don't answer, it's none of his business at this point. ......If you show up alone "after the wedding", he will know you went alone because most people would bring their date & you won't have a date...... I don't think I would go after hearing all of this. Why play into his mixed messages? It's like he's putting a carrot out in front of you and he is hoping you will nibble on it. He either wants to be with you or he doesn't. He told you he doesn't. BELIEVE HIM. He just hasn't found a replacement yet.
yeay!! you are backk!!! ;)
Hi Susan. Here's my question; Do older women like to be pursued? And how does the gentleman go about doing the pursuing?
Loving your dress !:)
Hi Susan, I finally found a dating coach who makes me feel much more confident of myself in terms of dating! Thanks for all your insightful contents 😘 I always have this question, and see this happening a lot: can guys pretend to have strong interest and back off completely? FYI, through being painfully ghosted a few times, I can recognise the masked and the genuine interest. But still, the genuine guy stops talking after that first date 🤷🏻♀️
Im jn love with a person, we are completely different and we have different cultures. Hes a youtuber and id never reach for him, hes 23 and im underage
Hes in another country
Hes hacinf a completely different life
Im the opposite
It hurts so much
So, how would you apply this to a dating website? You want to act interested but not too much........
You talk online and get to know them. Talk about casual things like their favorite tv shows, movies, or a hobby they mentioned in their profile. Look at their profile for topics to talk about. If you talk for, say, 30 minutes, you can move on. Then tomorrow show more interest in them or they will assume you are not interested. Showing interest and continuing the conversation the next day is NOT being desperate.
Next, this is what I do, keep talking for about a week to get to know them more. If you like, talk on the phone. After 4-7 conversations on different days, determine if you want to ask them out. Then ask them out.
@@crawfish069 I'm not one for small chit chat. If I like someone, an email or 2 or 3, then decide to meet sooner rather than later. I'd like to meet someone in person if I got a spark from their profile. And I am very selective, so this rarely happens. I have had several guys do the small chit chatting with me (they started the conversations and I reluctantly went along) and all just vanished into thin air. Two asked me specifically to meet them which I would have liked to have done, but after I said yes, they disappeared. I think a lot of these on line guys are talking to a ton of women at the same time for entertainment, an ego boost or because they are lonely.
Omg you're soooooo goood!!!!,🤩🤩🙌🙌🙌❤❤❤😍😍😍
You are beautiful! xxx
Good afternoon coach!
nice dress....=)
Conner you’re not! Haha