I agree. I’m the adoptive mother of two children. Every human has an innate right to know their birth story and NOBODY has the right to keep that information from them. This type of lie DOES NOT protect the child.
I know it’s heartbreaking for the adoptive people, but this happened a lot in a lot of families, both my grandmothers were not raised by their birth mothers ( one born in 1898 ish and the other 1901) they were raised within the greater family group. This was done to protect the mother who was obviously classed as a loose woman having a child outside of marriage but also to protect the child, illegitimate children were second class citizens for a very long time probably into 60s. It was society’s fault that these births were hushed up and dealt with secretively not the parents. It must have had an impact on my grandma as when she became pregnant in 1921 her fiancé left her in the lurch, she took him to court for child maintenance and kept the baby, she got a shilling a week (5pence) awarded by the courts, as everyone knew they were engaged prior to the conception. I’m so proud of her for doing this it must have been horrific at the time, I think her own unclear birth drove her on. Happily she went on to marry my grandad who treated the baby as his own and despite the poverty they went on to have eight more children together. I am blessed with a large loving family and my grandparents are the source of my privilege ❤❤❤
"It was society’s fault that these births were hushed up". That's one viewpoint. On the other hand, for the most part women didn't run around having multiple sex partners and getting knocked up without thought of the consequences at that time. Women who DID get pregnant were expected to get married, which was certainly better for the unborn child. Men were expected to accept responsibility for their acts, instead of getting a free ride. We need to stop applauding people for irresponsible and selfish acts, and thnk of what's best for the new lives being created.
Was even more heartbreaking for those young girls put in mental asylums for the "sin" of pregnancy. My grandmother's friend had been sectioned for decades and her baby raised as her sister.
I met my full sister when I was 68 and she was 67 through an Ancestry DNA match and some detective work done by one of her daughters. My sister and I have become very close!!!!!
So lovely. Mine doesn't want to meet. I don't blame her and I honor her choice but its very sad for me. I always wanted a sister. Turned out I had 3. The oldest 2 also not interested but I'd known that for years. When this one popped up as an illegitimate like me I'd hoped we'd meet.
I had an unusual childhood. I was the youngest of 6 kids spread out over nearly 16 years and born to a southern family who belonged to an ultra religious, conservative, faith healing cult. My brothers are 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 years older than me and my sisters were almost 16 years older and almost 15 years older than me. My other sister was 9 years older than me, but died 7 years before I was born. Despite being the youngest, I was not favored or catered to. In fact, it was the opposite. I was always left out of everything. My brothers got rabbits, dogs, horses, toys, etc, but I was left out unless I cried enough, then I was given something lesser than to shut me up. All of my siblings were always treated completely different than me. I was a homebirth and my family moved into their other home in another town for about a month before I was born before returning to the home they were living in after I was born. My oldest sister got married when I was 4 to a sadistic psychopath who beat her daily for fun. My other sister married a nice guy when I was 6. Starting when I was about 5, my mom kept sending me to stay with my oldest sister. If I ever protested, she would guilt me by saying that my sister needed my help and my nephews and neices would want to see me. My oldest nephew was 5 years younger than me and my sister had 8 kids in 9 years, 2 days, so they were really more like younger siblings to me than nephews and neices. If I wasnt in school, I was usually at my sister's house. It was weird that my mom didnt ever send me to my other sister's house. I stayed with her twice: once for about a week when I was 11 and once for about a month when I was 13, but only because I begged to go both times. I never could understand why I was sent to my oldest sisters house all the time, and guilted when I didnt want to go, especially with all the severe abuse there. My mother acted like she resented me my whole life. I spent my entire childhood trying to figure out why I was treated so differently. One day when I was 12, an idea popped into my head. I knew my oldest sister was kind of wild as a teen (it was the early 1970s) and I started to wonder if maybe she was my birthmother. So I did some digging and found my birth certificate and on it was the question: Was this birth an adoption? (Its basically what it said, I dont remember the exact words) and the answer checked was "no". After that, I decided that it was all my imagination and that she was really my sister after all. But it has always nagged me in the back of my mind. After I was well into adulthood, I thought about it and started to wonder about it again but this time when I thought about my birth certificate, I wondered if they lied to cover a potenial sin of my sister. I also have EDS and none of my other siblings do even though it is autosomal dominant. I know I can take a DNA test and get the answers, but I dont know if im ready for the answers either way. If my sister is my mother, then who is my dad? If my sister is my sister, then why was I treated so differently and always sent to stay with her in that dysfunctional hellhole? Both of my parents are deceased and even if it were true, my sister wouldnt tell me. I'm still tormented by all this in my 50s. Does it sound like an overactive imagination or does it sound plausable?
Sounds plausible to me - I know of three people in real life who have odd origin stories, and only one was hidden until DNA testing became so accessible. A DNA test could help you get answers but you could also try asking your sister. Why did they move before you were born and then return to their same home?
@username00009 They just went to stay at their other house. Mom said it was so they could be closer to the church midwife, but usually in their church the midwife stays with the expectant parents close to the end of the pregnancy. It's possible she couldn't for some reason but idk. My sister wouldn't tell me the truth if I asked. I keep telling myself it's just my imagination going wild, but it still keeps bugging me.
@@SandAngels73 Growing up with a sense of not belonging, of being treated differently, can be so painful and confusing, especially in a family setting as complex as yours. With so many layers-from your family's faith and unique dynamics to the early and intense exposure to difficult situations at your sister’s house-it's understandable why these questions have lingered and even grown over the years. The fact that you were always sent to your oldest sister, rather than anyone else in the family, stands out. Coupled with the differences in how you were treated and your childhood suspicions, it’s no wonder you feel this unresolved tension. The question on your birth certificate may have momentarily quelled your doubts when you were younger, but as an adult, it makes sense that you’re considering whether it could have been part of a cover-up. Exploring these questions further could bring peace, though I know it’s daunting to face the possibility of unexpected truths. Taking a DNA test could confirm or dispel your suspicions, and with modern genetic genealogy, it could even help identify your paternal lineage if it turns out your sister is indeed your mother. It’s a big decision, and there’s no right or wrong answer-you can take the time you need. This isn’t just about the biology but also about reconciling with your history and finding a sense of closure on your own terms. Whether you decide to take that step now or later, I hope you find a path that gives you clarity and peace. If you ever want support in making this decision, there are people who can guide you gently through the process, including genetic counselors and search angels, if that feels right for you. No matter what you choose, your questions are valid, and you deserve answers that honor your experiences and your journey.
Not knowing is painful. The truth may be painful if your sister is indeed your mother, but it will quiet the voice inside that keeps popping up. My father was adopted in the 1930s and not told until his 40s. We didn't have the DNA technology nor the change of laws allowing adoptees to obtain their records back then. He has been gone 30 years, and I found out who his birth parents were through DNA. It doesn't tell me the story of his conception, but it has quieted some of my internal questions.
My mom was abandoned in a NYC church in 1929. She was adopted 2 yrs later, by a very nice family. They've all passed now. But I've always wanted to know why mom was left. In '29 it was the Wall St / stockmarket disaster. Maybe that had something to do with leaving her. The person who left her, pinned a piece of paper to mom, with just her name. I love to find her true family.
You probably answered most of your own question, it was the 'great depression' (didn't sound terribly great). People were starving, so I guess they had other mouths to feed, and could not feed another. Sad though.
I read an article about the shocking frequency of DNA tests showing 1 in 7000 prevalence of incest. So in a lot of families a kid was raised with a sister who was actually their parent or given away but their DNA indicates a brother, father, uncle or cousin as the parent. Paints a very different picture of all those young girls who had pregnancies back in the day. All of that abuse and all those abused girls, the good ‘ole days sucked.
Since abortion is so prevalent nowadays the incest rapist can just get the victim “ fixed” through forced abortions. Convenient coverup for their crimes and horrible abuse to victims.
My best friend told me she was “sort of “ adopted. Obviously I said - explain the sort of part. Her mom couldn’t carry to term so her mom’s best friend got pregnant by the husband and then went to the hospital under the name of her best friend.The baby was born and named and the mother was listed as the best friends name so on the birth certificate it appears my friends mom delivered the baby- she didn’t. 1973 in Illinois USA. Somehow it was easy enough to pull off and at 50 years old nobody knows even today except anyone who was told. All sorts of craziness went on with babies.
I know a bunch of sisters who did almost the same thing three of them couldnt have kids so one of them met this 15 yr old pregnant no insurance or anything back in the 60s she gave the girl her insurance and ID and when she went into the hospital she had the baby under my friends aunts name then just offer to take the baby and give it a good home and off the girl would go then her two sisters did the same thing none of them knew but my friend her mom told her and nobody ever told them I couldnt believe what she was telling me
My son-in-law's father was stolen and adopted through this ladies agency. Beulah George "Georgia" Tann (July 18, 1891 - September 15, 1950) was an American social worker and child trafficker who operated the Tennessee Children's Home Society, an unlicensed adoption agency in Memphis, Tennessee. Tann used the home as a front for her black market baby adoption scheme from the 1920s to 1950. Young children were kidnapped and then sold to wealthy families, abused, or-in some instances-murdered. A state investigation into numerous cases of adoption fraud led to the institution's closure in 1950. Tann died of cancer before the investigation made its findings public.
Surprisingly and sadly, this is not the first instance I have heard of this. We recently had a guest on our Lost and Found: No More Secrets TH-cam show with a very similar story.
This took place in Memphis TN. It’s horrific what she did. Read “The Baby Thief.” The Historic Elmwood Cemetery in Memphis is the final resting place for several of her victims. Elmwood has a memorial to Tann’s victims there.
@Duckster183 Stolen Babies is a television film based on this. Wrestler Ric Flair was one of the babies she stole, and Joan Crawford allegedly adopted one of her children from there.
Was connected with, what I thought was an unknown half sister, which was instead an unknown niece. (there’s a lot more to that story) My brother nor family seem interested in getting to know her. Wish we lived closer because she is a blessing in my life. Hoping to help her pay to fly out for a holiday so she can meet this side of her family. And hopefully my siblings come to love and appreciate her, as well.
She wasn't really adopted though. Nothing legal about it which is why the "adoptive" mom won't admit to what happened. I'm sure the statute of limitations is up for whatever crimes were committed. I'm glad that Alex found her real family while the bio mom was still alive. Sounds like a happy ending.
I had an aunt, who as a small child, was taken in by my grandparents during the depression. She was abandoned. They lived in "BFE" in Brownsville TX at the time. Not sure what/how they dealt with the paperwork, she was never formerly adopted, but had the family name.
My mother swears she was always treated as 'less than' the other 3 children in her family. When her mom had dementia in her later life, they were sitting at the table when grandma suddenly, after staring at mom for what seemed a long time (the only child who would take her in, instead of putting her in a nursing home), blurted out, "... You know, you were just a little papoose, wrapped in a blanket, when I first got you ..." .... Startled, Mom asked her what she meant ... of course Grandma looked off and said, "I don't know what you're talking about". Mom finally did a dna test but none of her siblings would .... Mom passed and I am trying to get her dna results because the brother who paid for it (now passed also - no children) had locked up the info from the family - a power tripping thing, knowing him. Although mom was born in 1933, she had a delayed birth certificate which caused us to think there might be something to the 'adoption' thing.
You could still find out answers if you did a DNA test. We can find grandparents using your DNA with Ancestry. Although, it is a shame that your moms DNA was withheld from you.
A friend of mine was told in her 40s that she was illegally adopted. It was devastating. What she found out about the birth mother was good, about her birth father not so good, but it was his mother who was the criminal, getting rid of her son’s “problem” -handing the child to a childless couple and telling them to leave town.
I had a friend in high school who didnt know a secret her Dad had who was raising her. She was a face on a milk carton growing up & didnt know it until her dad told her the truth when she turned 18. She went & met her mom & that side of the family, left early & flat told her Dad Thank You. Sometimes there are good reasons. My opinion.
I empathize where you are coming from. I really do. But, we all have an inherent right to know our biological truth and have an accurate medical history. Don't you agree?
I always wondered if I was a stolen baby. My birth certificate wasn't filed for three years after I was born. When I ordered my birth certificate, it hardly had any information on it which was also odd. I ended up ordering it a second time- thinking maybe I was adopted, talked to the clerk, and was sent a full brrth certificate that was more complete than the first one. I have never figured out any of this.
before birth control became widespread (and legal, and available by 1965) the story of "Gone to an Aunts' was very common. Canada had "work farms" in Ontario and in Quebec for unadoptable babies. I know a number of men that were raised on those farms: what they got was a strong work ethic, but the lack of love was apparent. They carry that with them for life.
@@SasquatchPJs because sex outside marriage was the worst thing you could do as a woman. Women were expected to be maidens (virgins) when they married even in poor society. It wasn’t the adoption that was kept a secret in particular but the fact there had been a birth in the first place. No one would marry a fallen woman, and in those days that meant a very hard life and being treated as a 3rd rate citizen, worse than being a spinster!! ( you might note at this point that these problems only applied to women). Illegitimate children were also 3 rd rate citizens worthy of no regard, I was born in the 60s so I was probably about 10 or 11 when this stuff was still going on despite the women’s liberation movement in the early 1970s it’s really not that long ago unless your under 25 and them it might seem a very long time ago 🤣🤣 I’ve not had any personal experience with adoption but I remember it was a big thing if you were adopted when I was a kid, everyone knew which kids were adopted too. I’m glad things have changed, such discrimination was so unfair 😔
I have a crazy story in my family that will probably never get solved, because not all the people involved would give their dna to be tested, or maybe there's no way to solve it, since most of this people are gone now. My grandmother had a big sister, they shared their mom side (different fathers). When big sister reached 16 years old, my grandmother's father abused her, and she got pregnant. That happened around 1930, he decided she should give the baby to the nuns to be taken care of by the church. He dragged her to a train and made her give the baby away in another town, and when they were on their way back, she jumped off the train to try and get her baby back. Here's where the story got complicated, some of her sisters (they are seven) say she couldn't get back to her baby and that was it. But others say she did get her baby back and brought him home. It's important to mention that my great-grandmother was very ill when all this happened, she had colon cancer. My grandmother was like 4 years old, and she says she recall her mom giving birth to one last child, a baby boy BUT her sisters say their mom never gave birth while sick, she took her grandson as her son so that her older daughter could take care of him instead of giving him to the church. No one knows which one is true.
There was a huge scandal about a Tennessee Children's home that was supposed to be taking care of children temporarily for impoverished mothers. This was in the first half of the 1900s. They were actually adopting them out. I know of a woman who lost all five of her chidren that way.
Oh my lord, what an amazing story. As I am writing this, your likes are at 888 and something inside me doesn't want to click 😅 888, full circle, so I will comment instead ! All of these stories are so interesting to me, from an outsider without a clue of how it might feel. It is now only relevant to me because I hope my children have the gumption to find me. I never abandoned them, their father just decided I was unworthy as a mother and cut me, and my mum (my boys' Mamó) out of their lives. Our personal quest to know our ancestry is Primal, it is necessary for all of us. I know where I came from, I know my parents and my family. So do my children. Every one of these stories gives me hope that my boys will fight to find me. Again, I never left them , it was their father who cut me away. This was an amazing story, and I am glad youtube decided to put it into my feed, thank you ❤
Wow crazy story! So glad it all worked out in time! I believe I’m the daughter of my aunt and a donor but not sure who that man is. I had an uncle who was an obgyn doctor. Myself and two adopted siblings were all born at the same hospital in Des Moines, Iowa that the uncle practiced at and had an office at. There may be a religious reason or personal family history reason that I and my siblings were never told who our biological parents were. I do not believe that my siblings and I are biologically related to each other. The uncle had nine children and loved helping families. Looking at photographs of the aunt, I realized at age 45 that half of my face looked like hers. The other side of my face looks to be similar to the man I called ‘father’. Everyone is long deceased and I’m 61. Just another weird adoption story🤔
@ …and compare it to who? Everybody is deceased and my aunt did not have any biological children before or after I was born😉 I commented because I believe odd stories of adoption or deceit by biological parents is probably pretty common. I was born in 1963 before in vitro fertilization became popular. That’s how I believe I was conceived.
@@kathrynmoon8793 Your online Ancestry results show a list of your DNA matches (other people in their database). You can view your paternal and maternal lines separately. You click on the matches with the highest cM number and start grouping them and building a tree.
@@kathrynmoon8793 “invitro” was being performed in the 50s. It was discussed at great length in one of the adoption books I read. If you truly want to know take the Ancestry DNA test. There are many fb group with free search angles who can help you if you need it. It changed my world.
Wouldn't her bio mother now be able to tell her who her bio dad was? Which one of the two brothers? Who was also the father of her full brother with the bio mom.
@@susangallagher986 He's already passed away. He wasn't listed on the original birth certificate -- the man listed on the birth certificate was somebody whose information was used (with his knowledge) so that his insurance would cover the costs related to a hospital birth.
i was adopted at six months in the mid-60s, and it's occurred to me that i could have been a stolen baby (a lot of babies were back then.) Until fairly recently, one goal was to make adopted children look as un-adopted as possible, so what happened to Alex probably happened to a lot of kids. i'm glad Alex was able to get her information, but she shouldn't have had to jump through so many hoops.
My mother's story was somewhat similar. During the search for her mother, she located some of her siblings. I had a chance to meet my uncle once and there are others, though I may never get to meet them.
Im hoping to get a dna test done for my husband as soon as i can get the funds so that maybe we can find his brother who was put up for adoption. His mom doesn't want us to look for him as she says it was supposed to be an open adoption (1980 😂) and he could find her if he wanted. I think she is scared to have to explain to him why ahe gave him up and kept my husband. She also keeps telling us she brought my husband home from the hospital in a snow storm in march of 79 in Columbus Ohio but i can't find any weather evidence that we had snow then so that makes me think he was a year older not younger or my husband is a year older than she says
These stories have become very numerous! I think blood tests need to come back before marriage, just to be on the safe side of things! Life just keeps getting weirder!
The dna tests are revealing things that break families apart. Some knew some didn’t. The moral of this story. Honesty matters. Chastity matters. Do not lie and do not cheat on your spouse because it affects a lot more people than just you.
That mom doesn’t know how to lie ‼️😳 EVERY CHILD DESERVES TO KNOW WHERE AND WHO THEY CAME FROM AND THEN MAKE UP THEIR MIND ABOUT IF THEY WANT TO BE IN THEIR LIFE OR IF THEY WANT TO BE IN THAT CHILD’S LIFE‼️‼️
quick question: I want to get a DNA test, but I'm really worried about privacy. Are there any companies that have stronger privacy policies and protections?
When considering DNA testing services with a focus on privacy, it’s essential to understand each company’s policies and user base. Here’s an overview of AncestryDNA, 23andMe, and MyHeritage: AncestryDNA: • User Base: AncestryDNA has a substantial user base, with over 25 million customers. • Privacy Measures: • Data Protection: AncestryDNA processes your DNA sample in a secure, third-party laboratory in the United States. Your identity is separated from your sample, which is tracked using a unique activation code. • Encrypted Storage: Your DNA results are encrypted and stored in a secured database with multiple security measures to prevent unauthorized access. • Control Over Data: You have control over who can view your DNA results and matches. You can adjust these settings to share as much or as little information as you prefer. • Data Deletion: If you choose, you can permanently delete your DNA test results. Once deleted, your data cannot be recovered, and your information will no longer be visible to your DNA matches. • Law Enforcement Requests: AncestryDNA does not allow law enforcement to use its services to investigate crimes or to identify human remains without a valid legal process, such as a court order or warrant. 23andMe: • User Base: 23andMe has over 15 million customers. • Privacy Measures: • Data Protection: 23andMe uses a range of physical, technical, and administrative measures to safeguard your personal information, in accordance with current technological and industry standards.  • Control Over Data: You decide how your information is used and with whom it is shared.  • Data Deletion: You can delete your data at any time.  • Law Enforcement Requests: Since 2008, your individual data has never been released to law enforcement and will only be shared if required by a valid legal process.  MyHeritage: • User Base: MyHeritage has over 6 million customers. • Privacy Measures: • Data Protection: MyHeritage commits never to sell or license users’ data to third parties.  • Control Over Data: You have control over your data and can manage your privacy settings.  • Data Deletion: You can delete your data at any time.  • Law Enforcement Requests: MyHeritage does not share personal data with law enforcement agencies.  Considerations: • Data Ownership: Ensure the company allows you to retain ownership of your genetic data and provides options to delete it upon request. • Consent for Data Sharing: Look for companies that require explicit consent before sharing your data with third parties. • Security Measures: Check that the company uses robust security protocols to protect your data. By choosing a company that aligns with these privacy-focused practices, you can gain valuable genetic insights while maintaining control over your personal information.
As long as you dont make a video and show your test on youtube (like everyone else is doing) and also do not put your results or your matches anywhere online, you should be pretty safe. Your results should stay private to only you and the DNA company. I personally do not trust Ancestry and 23 and me. I used Family Tree DNA and My Heritage for my family's DNA tests. Also if you really want to stay safe, do NOT upload your DNA to GEDmatch - which matches your DNA to other peoples DNA from other companies. Because some companies do not allow you to upload your DNA if it is from a competing business. I did upload my DNA to GEDmatch and so far have not had any trouble. Not a lot of matches either.
My mother never knew her biological father as she was the product of a date rape by a friend of her mothers brother. He never found out about my mother being conceived. My grandmother married a man while she was pregnant with my mom and he was the one my mother knew as her father. Since I have a genetic illness, I wish I knew who he was. There is a lot I would like to know.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I can understand how important it is to know your biological roots, especially given your health circumstances.
My girlfriends mom was adopted, and long after her six over-achieving girls were grown she had LEGAL entitlement to find her mother. It turns out her mother was only 100 kilometres away, but no, did NOT want to meet up. Too bad, the sisters are the foundation of their entire town, all well educated and contributing to the community. But you never know the story: women were often on the bad receiving end of a pregancy not wanted durning/after the war and on into the early sixties, before birth control and it's LEGAL availability changed women's lives forever.
Just this year, at 51 years old I found out my biological father was raised by a man that wasn't his bio father. I only found out because my daughter had done a dna test and found a relative in Florida that nobody in my family knew who she was but her last name triggered my favorite cousin into telling me that she must be related to my dads real father.....I was dumb struck. Found out my bio grandfather just died 15 years ago. I never got a chance to meet him because of family secrets! Now, my father had found out about his real father back in the 70s but I was a baby and since my dad died when I was barely 17 I wasn't told about his father and still didn't know any of this up until this year. It makes me quite angry that my family just assumed I wouldn't care that I had a real life grandfather I COULD have went to meet before he died but they never told me. Anyway, don't lie or keep secrets from your kids, they WILL find out one way or another. I never met any of my assumed grandparents, they were all dead long before I was born except this one.
Wow, what an emotional journey. It’s heartbreaking to think of the connections and moments you missed out on due to family secrets. I completely agree-secrets have a way of coming to light, and withholding the truth often causes more harm in the long run. Thank you for sharing your story; it’s a powerful reminder of why openness is so important in families.
The adoptive mom has herself believing the lie. She will probably never be convinced of the truth. So, I’m happy for Alex she gets a relationship with bio family. Don’t be too hard on adopted mom. The mind is a mystery sometimes.
My father never knew that he was adopted. He died before I made the discovery using Ancestry DNA. He was born in the late 1930s when the stigma of being born outside of wedlock was pretty severe so it’s understandable, but why his adoptive parents never said a word in the 1990s while still alive, I’ll never really know
We are Genetic Genealogists we follow the DNA, not a paper trail. I don't know of anyone in Canada that does those type of searches. I recommend you put your DNA on all platforms in case one of your brothers or his descendants test. Best of luck to you!
She was legally adopted, but not until her teens. The adoptive mom was the biological mother to the older brother (who it turns out she has no DNA connection to)
I want a story like this. My grandfather was sold to another family. His brothers.... 2 Holmes boys. All up to no good. Would love to know both sides of the story. ❤❤
Would anyone be willing to research my dad’s parentage? There is weird too short timeline stuff with my grandma and being out of country and when my dad is born… my uncle comes in dna as a half uncle on ancestry… my dad took a dna test before he died but his wife said they did it wrong and it didn’t turn out… (they did hers and it was fine)… idk… also he had three kids by a first wife and I have never met them either… idk… I know you guys only work with adoptees… my dad also really looks like my grandma but not so much of my grandpa… specially comparing him to his siblings which are very distinct father’s children
@ I mean, I know they have mother side father side, but my mom recognizes some names but not hardly any and my dad is first generation American. His parents came from Sweden. I will look at color coding..
WE CAN HELP! Take an Ancestry DNA test (they are on sale right now for the lowest you can get them $39). Once you have received your results you can request a Search Angel at www.dnangels.org
I've never heard of a driver's license being denied for lack of a Social Security Account Number. I didn't get my SSAN until a year after I had my driver's license. Of course, it may be different for an immigrant.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO MY BIRTH MOM IS I KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS .BUT DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS TILL I WAS 74YRS.OLD IWAS STOLEN BY GRANDPARENTS .I WILL NEVER KNOW. WHO SHE WAS ITS FAR TO LATE NOW
What does a person do when the DNA falsifies the birth certificate? Does one try to get the official records corrected? Or does one just live with it, adding footnotes?
That's a great question! When DNA results show a different biological parent than what's listed on the birth certificate, it can be a tough situation. Some people do choose to update official records, especially if it affects inheritance, health information, or personal identification needs. However, updating a birth certificate usually requires legal steps, which can vary widely by location and may involve presenting DNA results as evidence in court. Others prefer to keep their birth certificate as it is and treat the DNA findings as a personal addition to their family history-essentially like adding "footnotes" that clarify the biological truth without altering the official record. Each approach has its own implications and emotional weight, so it really depends on what feels right for the individual and their family context
Have been a genealogist for a very long time. On Ancestry I was contacted by a gal who claimed her mother or grandmother was an illegitimate daughter of my great uncle...the uncle was no blood relation to me (married to my blood gr aunt) but I knew him very well and he had no children that I knew of. I did include him in my tree which was how the lady found me. Initially I was skeptical...had know him my whole live and never heard anything about having a daughter. But when the other person provided the birth certificate it was 100% true... I asked a cousin of my dad (one of the last of that generation living) if he had ever heard about my uncle "Clelan" having an illegitimate daughter. After a deep breath he said "well I did kind of hear about that" ha ha. I sent her a package of a lot of cool old things from my uncles family...I had kept a lot of things from his family as he had no living kin except up. Family had questioned why I kept those things since I was not related to the family but I guess that was the reason! Not the only story I have of my dads family keeping the family secrets on the down low ha.
"Just for fun they take a DNA test." Yeah, right. Sometimes the circumstances of a child's birth are so awful that you wish she would never learn it. Didn't her "mother" love her and raise her right? Alex owes that woman for 40 years of caring, so don't twist the knife in the wound. In my town a man shot his wife to death and then himself. Their newborn died of thirst in her crib. The toddler survived by eating potato chips and drinking water from the toilet. When she asks where her mother and father are, what are we going to say?
Thank you for sharing your perspective. DNA testing can uncover painful truths, but everyone has the right to explore their identity. Honoring the love and care of a parent who raised someone doesn’t diminish their role while seeking biological answers. Ultimately, understanding one’s origins is deeply human and, when handled thoughtfully, can lead to healing and deeper appreciation for family in all its forms.
When client came to us she was looking for her biological truth. She did not know whether she was stolen or adopted. She did not get legally adopted until she was in her teens. Thanks for watching!
Bio mom did consent for baby to be placed with adopted mom. She was not legally adopted until she was a teen. Adopted mom kept the biological truth from her and planned to take the secret to her grave.
@@toscatattertail9813 only the ones that have also tested using that same company. So it’s not like you always get very many matches, or any close matches. EX: I’ve done ancestry. On my mom’s side I’ve had an Uncle, Aunt and a half Uncle test plus 5 first cousins and then about 10 children of first cousins. Then a ton of my mom’s first cousins and their kids. On my dad’s side I’ve had 1 child of a first cousin test and then the others that show up for that side are so far removed from any of my close relatives - we share great great grandparents or great great great grandparents. And that side of my family is HUGE, my dad is one of 9, but no one is doing their dna lol
You are right. At DNAngels we have made it our mission to help those in need of help of a DNA discovery. Regardless of the amount of money in their bank account. Everyone has an inherent right to know their biological truth.
@@dnangelsorg2544 don't feel bad. I'm a kinetic person too, I'm always rocking, tapping my feet, or moving non-stop. I don't have much control over it. To be honest, I never noticed you were rocking, I was too involved in your story to even notice 😊
It’s heartbreaking how lies and secrets can leave such deep scars, affecting so many lives. You’re absolutely right-the world can be full of dishonesty, and it’s deeply unfair when people have to suffer because of it. Hugs
I was supposed to be the kid of my dad's best buddy a Cherokee man. Since I was born looking very Native. I did DNA tests to try and find living members of his family for medical questions. I several chronic issues. Turns out I was early and not his kid, but he is a cousin of my mother's. They at least passed out in the same bed drunk when Dad was out of town and assumed they did the deed. I was supposedly conceived at that time according to the doctor. Not possible. I am Dad's kid. He looked very white and so did my mom and when questioned for a school project the only had European and Irish, Scottish and English. The European was German and French. Dad has a few and so does mom several ancestors of every race. Let's see Melungeon, Creole from Barbados, various Virginia tribes and others not documented as my percentage is higher than the Natives documented. At least one free person of color. The family from Barbados kept it in the family. We only went to the Irish family reunion. Did hit a wall in that lineage as it only goes back to my great grandfather who was born in Dublin and immigrated from Limerick. The Noonan family. Irish by country, but not as Irish as my mom was told. LOL.
Wow, talk about a family reunion that could make a soap opera plot twist! Who knew a few drinks could lead to such a genealogical mystery? Just remember, every family has its quirks-yours just comes with a side of DNA drama!
You do not understand, she NEEDS to know, the daughter deserves the truth . I felt the same way , no intention of apportioning blame , we just need to know who we are .
As the father of two adopted daughters this is why you do NOT lie to your children about where they came from.
Absolutely!
I agree. I’m the adoptive mother of two children. Every human has an innate right to know their birth story and NOBODY has the right to keep that information from them. This type of lie DOES NOT protect the child.
I know it’s heartbreaking for the adoptive people, but this happened a lot in a lot of families, both my grandmothers were not raised by their birth mothers ( one born in 1898 ish and the other 1901) they were raised within the greater family group. This was done to protect the mother who was obviously classed as a loose woman having a child outside of marriage but also to protect the child, illegitimate children were second class citizens for a very long time probably into 60s. It was society’s fault that these births were hushed up and dealt with secretively not the parents. It must have had an impact on my grandma as when she became pregnant in 1921 her fiancé left her in the lurch, she took him to court for child maintenance and kept the baby, she got a shilling a week (5pence) awarded by the courts, as everyone knew they were engaged prior to the conception. I’m so proud of her for doing this it must have been horrific at the time, I think her own unclear birth drove her on. Happily she went on to marry my grandad who treated the baby as his own and despite the poverty they went on to have eight more children together. I am blessed with a large loving family and my grandparents are the source of my privilege ❤❤❤
Bless you and your courageous grandmother!
What a wonderful tribute to your family's courage and resourcefulness!
"It was society’s fault that these births were hushed up". That's one viewpoint. On the other hand, for the most part women didn't run around having multiple sex partners and getting knocked up without thought of the consequences at that time. Women who DID get pregnant were expected to get married, which was certainly better for the unborn child. Men were expected to accept responsibility for their acts, instead of getting a free ride. We need to stop applauding people for irresponsible and selfish acts, and thnk of what's best for the new lives being created.
Was even more heartbreaking for those young girls put in mental asylums for the "sin" of pregnancy. My grandmother's friend had been sectioned for decades and her baby raised as her sister.
@ oh my goodness that’s awful 😢
I met my full sister when I was 68 and she was 67 through an Ancestry DNA match and some detective work done by one of her daughters. My sister and I have become very close!!!!!
THIS is what we love to hear
So lovely. Mine doesn't want to meet. I don't blame her and I honor her choice but its very sad for me. I always wanted a sister. Turned out I had 3. The oldest 2 also not interested but I'd known that for years. When this one popped up as an illegitimate like me I'd hoped we'd meet.
@@ScarlettO323 🙏🏻💙💔💙🙏🏻
@@ScarlettO323it doesn’t always go well when you do meet. I feel for you ❤
@@ScarlettO323
They may come around, in time
I had an unusual childhood. I was the youngest of 6 kids spread out over nearly 16 years and born to a southern family who belonged to an ultra religious, conservative, faith healing cult. My brothers are 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 years older than me and my sisters were almost 16 years older and almost 15 years older than me. My other sister was 9 years older than me, but died 7 years before I was born. Despite being the youngest, I was not favored or catered to. In fact, it was the opposite. I was always left out of everything. My brothers got rabbits, dogs, horses, toys, etc, but I was left out unless I cried enough, then I was given something lesser than to shut me up. All of my siblings were always treated completely different than me. I was a homebirth and my family moved into their other home in another town for about a month before I was born before returning to the home they were living in after I was born. My oldest sister got married when I was 4 to a sadistic psychopath who beat her daily for fun. My other sister married a nice guy when I was 6. Starting when I was about 5, my mom kept sending me to stay with my oldest sister. If I ever protested, she would guilt me by saying that my sister needed my help and my nephews and neices would want to see me. My oldest nephew was 5 years younger than me and my sister had 8 kids in 9 years, 2 days, so they were really more like younger siblings to me than nephews and neices. If I wasnt in school, I was usually at my sister's house. It was weird that my mom didnt ever send me to my other sister's house. I stayed with her twice: once for about a week when I was 11 and once for about a month when I was 13, but only because I begged to go both times. I never could understand why I was sent to my oldest sisters house all the time, and guilted when I didnt want to go, especially with all the severe abuse there. My mother acted like she resented me my whole life. I spent my entire childhood trying to figure out why I was treated so differently. One day when I was 12, an idea popped into my head. I knew my oldest sister was kind of wild as a teen (it was the early 1970s) and I started to wonder if maybe she was my birthmother. So I did some digging and found my birth certificate and on it was the question: Was this birth an adoption? (Its basically what it said, I dont remember the exact words) and the answer checked was "no". After that, I decided that it was all my imagination and that she was really my sister after all. But it has always nagged me in the back of my mind. After I was well into adulthood, I thought about it and started to wonder about it again but this time when I thought about my birth certificate, I wondered if they lied to cover a potenial sin of my sister. I also have EDS and none of my other siblings do even though it is autosomal dominant. I know I can take a DNA test and get the answers, but I dont know if im ready for the answers either way. If my sister is my mother, then who is my dad? If my sister is my sister, then why was I treated so differently and always sent to stay with her in that dysfunctional hellhole? Both of my parents are deceased and even if it were true, my sister wouldnt tell me. I'm still tormented by all this in my 50s. Does it sound like an overactive imagination or does it sound plausable?
Sounds plausible to me - I know of three people in real life who have odd origin stories, and only one was hidden until DNA testing became so accessible. A DNA test could help you get answers but you could also try asking your sister. Why did they move before you were born and then return to their same home?
@username00009
They just went to stay at their other house. Mom said it was so they could be closer to the church midwife, but usually in their church the midwife stays with the expectant parents close to the end of the pregnancy. It's possible she couldn't for some reason but idk. My sister wouldn't tell me the truth if I asked. I keep telling myself it's just my imagination going wild, but it still keeps bugging me.
@@SandAngels73 Growing up with a sense of not belonging, of being treated differently, can be so painful and confusing, especially in a family setting as complex as yours. With so many layers-from your family's faith and unique dynamics to the early and intense exposure to difficult situations at your sister’s house-it's understandable why these questions have lingered and even grown over the years.
The fact that you were always sent to your oldest sister, rather than anyone else in the family, stands out. Coupled with the differences in how you were treated and your childhood suspicions, it’s no wonder you feel this unresolved tension. The question on your birth certificate may have momentarily quelled your doubts when you were younger, but as an adult, it makes sense that you’re considering whether it could have been part of a cover-up.
Exploring these questions further could bring peace, though I know it’s daunting to face the possibility of unexpected truths. Taking a DNA test could confirm or dispel your suspicions, and with modern genetic genealogy, it could even help identify your paternal lineage if it turns out your sister is indeed your mother. It’s a big decision, and there’s no right or wrong answer-you can take the time you need. This isn’t just about the biology but also about reconciling with your history and finding a sense of closure on your own terms.
Whether you decide to take that step now or later, I hope you find a path that gives you clarity and peace. If you ever want support in making this decision, there are people who can guide you gently through the process, including genetic counselors and search angels, if that feels right for you. No matter what you choose, your questions are valid, and you deserve answers that honor your experiences and your journey.
@dnangelsorg2544
Thank you!
Not knowing is painful. The truth may be painful if your sister is indeed your mother, but it will quiet the voice inside that keeps popping up.
My father was adopted in the 1930s and not told until his 40s. We didn't have the DNA technology nor the change of laws allowing adoptees to obtain their records back then. He has been gone 30 years, and I found out who his birth parents were through DNA. It doesn't tell me the story of his conception, but it has quieted some of my internal questions.
My mom was abandoned in a NYC church in 1929. She was adopted 2 yrs later, by a very nice family. They've all passed now. But I've always wanted to know why mom was left. In '29 it was the Wall St / stockmarket disaster. Maybe that had something to do with leaving her. The person who left her, pinned a piece of paper to mom, with just her name. I love to find her true family.
We'd love to help. Take an AncestryDNA test and request a Search Angel at www.dnangels.org.
You know her true family. They raised her and loved her.
You probably answered most of your own question, it was the 'great depression' (didn't sound terribly great). People were starving, so I guess they had other mouths to feed, and could not feed another. Sad though.
I read an article about the shocking frequency of DNA tests showing 1 in 7000 prevalence of incest. So in a lot of families a kid was raised with a sister who was actually their parent or given away but their DNA indicates a brother, father, uncle or cousin as the parent. Paints a very different picture of all those young girls who had pregnancies back in the day. All of that abuse and all those abused girls, the good ‘ole days sucked.
Even today, people are far more likely to be abused by someone they know or are related to.
This is true, sadly.
Since abortion is so prevalent nowadays the incest rapist can just get the victim “ fixed” through forced abortions. Convenient coverup for their crimes and horrible abuse to victims.
@@tfox285 now they kill the baby to cover up the crime
So do these days. Nothing has changed.
My best friend told me she was “sort of “ adopted. Obviously I said - explain the sort of part.
Her mom couldn’t carry to term so her mom’s best friend got pregnant by the husband and then went to the hospital under the name of her best friend.The baby was born and named and the mother was listed as the best friends name so on the birth certificate it appears my friends mom delivered the baby- she didn’t. 1973 in Illinois USA.
Somehow it was easy enough to pull off and at 50 years old nobody knows even today except anyone who was told.
All sorts of craziness went on with babies.
WOW!!!! Now that's a story!
I know a bunch of sisters who did almost the same thing three of them couldnt have kids so one of them met this 15 yr old pregnant no insurance or anything back in the 60s she gave the girl her insurance and ID and when she went into the hospital she had the baby under my friends aunts name then just offer to take the baby and give it a good home and off the girl would go then her two sisters did the same thing none of them knew but my friend her mom told her and nobody ever told them I couldnt believe what she was telling me
My son-in-law's father was stolen and adopted through this ladies agency.
Beulah George "Georgia" Tann (July 18, 1891 - September 15, 1950) was an American social worker and child trafficker who operated the Tennessee Children's Home Society, an unlicensed adoption agency in Memphis, Tennessee. Tann used the home as a front for her black market baby adoption scheme from the 1920s to 1950. Young children were kidnapped and then sold to wealthy families, abused, or-in some instances-murdered. A state investigation into numerous cases of adoption fraud led to the institution's closure in 1950. Tann died of cancer before the investigation made its findings public.
Surprisingly and sadly, this is not the first instance I have heard of this. We recently had a guest on our Lost and Found: No More Secrets TH-cam show with a very similar story.
There is a book and maybe a movie out about this.
This is still happening.
This took place in Memphis TN. It’s horrific what she did. Read “The Baby Thief.” The Historic Elmwood Cemetery in Memphis is the final resting place for several of her victims. Elmwood has a memorial to Tann’s victims there.
@Duckster183
Stolen Babies is a television film based on this.
Wrestler Ric Flair was one of the babies she stole, and Joan Crawford allegedly adopted one of her children from there.
I'm so glad her biological mother is still alive.
Such a blessing!
Was connected with, what I thought was an unknown half sister, which was instead an unknown niece. (there’s a lot more to that story) My brother nor family seem interested in getting to know her. Wish we lived closer because she is a blessing in my life. Hoping to help her pay to fly out for a holiday so she can meet this side of her family. And hopefully my siblings come to love and appreciate her, as well.
I am so sorry to hear that your family is not welcoming, but I'm glad you've found a special connection with her!
She wasn't really adopted though. Nothing legal about it which is why the "adoptive" mom won't admit to what happened. I'm sure the statute of limitations is up for whatever crimes were committed. I'm glad that Alex found her real family while the bio mom was still alive. Sounds like a happy ending.
I had an aunt, who as a small child, was taken in by my grandparents during the depression. She was abandoned. They lived in "BFE" in Brownsville TX at the time. Not sure what/how they dealt with the paperwork, she was never formerly adopted, but had the family name.
I would assume "back in the day" it was much easier to not legalize those situations. Fellow Texan here, thanks for commenting!
My mother swears she was always treated as 'less than' the other 3 children in her family. When her mom had dementia in her later life, they were sitting at the table when grandma suddenly, after staring at mom for what seemed a long time (the only child who would take her in, instead of putting her in a nursing home), blurted out, "... You know, you were just a little papoose, wrapped in a blanket, when I first got you ..." .... Startled, Mom asked her what she meant ... of course Grandma looked off and said, "I don't know what you're talking about". Mom finally did a dna test but none of her siblings would .... Mom passed and I am trying to get her dna results because the brother who paid for it (now passed also - no children) had locked up the info from the family - a power tripping thing, knowing him. Although mom was born in 1933, she had a delayed birth certificate which caused us to think there might be something to the 'adoption' thing.
You could still find out answers if you did a DNA test. We can find grandparents using your DNA with Ancestry. Although, it is a shame that your moms DNA was withheld from you.
A friend of mine was told in her 40s that she was illegally adopted. It was devastating. What she found out about the birth mother was good, about her birth father not so good, but it was his mother who was the criminal, getting rid of her son’s “problem” -handing the child to a childless couple and telling them to leave town.
So incredibly sad!
😮
@@sw6118 at least the baby wasn't aborted.
I had a friend in high school who didnt know a secret her Dad had who was raising her. She was a face on a milk carton growing up & didnt know it until her dad told her the truth when she turned 18. She went & met her mom & that side of the family, left early & flat told her Dad Thank You. Sometimes there are good reasons. My opinion.
I empathize where you are coming from. I really do. But, we all have an inherent right to know our biological truth and have an accurate medical history. Don't you agree?
@@dnangelsorg2544. Of course, but that does not mean that you have to embrace other people simply because you are biologically connected
Correct. We always tell our clients that although you are entitled to know your biological truth, you are not entitled to a relationship.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer.
~Adoptive mom of four.
~two bio kids
What you do in the dark always comes to light
Love this!
@@dnangelsorg2544lt's a quote from The Bible... 🙂👍
I always wondered if I was a stolen baby. My birth certificate wasn't filed for three years after I was born. When I ordered my birth certificate, it hardly had any information on it which was also odd. I ended up ordering it a second time- thinking maybe I was adopted, talked to the clerk, and was sent a full brrth certificate that was more complete than the first one. I have never figured out any of this.
Wow, that's so strange! It sounds like you've got a real mystery on your hands.
I've never understood the secrecy and shame around adoption. It's a wonderful thing to do for someone who needs a family.
before birth control became widespread (and legal, and available by 1965) the story of "Gone to an Aunts' was very common. Canada had "work farms" in Ontario and in Quebec for unadoptable babies. I know a number of men that were raised on those farms: what they got was a strong work ethic, but the lack of love was apparent. They carry that with them for life.
@@SasquatchPJs because sex outside marriage was the worst thing you could do as a woman. Women were expected to be maidens (virgins) when they married even in poor society. It wasn’t the adoption that was kept a secret in particular but the fact there had been a birth in the first place. No one would marry a fallen woman, and in those days that meant a very hard life and being treated as a 3rd rate citizen, worse than being a spinster!! ( you might note at this point that these problems only applied to women). Illegitimate children were also 3 rd rate citizens worthy of no regard, I was born in the 60s so I was probably about 10 or 11 when this stuff was still going on despite the women’s liberation movement in the early 1970s it’s really not that long ago unless your under 25 and them it might seem a very long time ago 🤣🤣 I’ve not had any personal experience with adoption but I remember it was a big thing if you were adopted when I was a kid, everyone knew which kids were adopted too. I’m glad things have changed, such discrimination was so unfair 😔
Appreciate your perspective.
Unless…there is physical danger awaiting with the bio parents.
@@juliehilton1701I remember being shunned in the 60s for being adopted. My life was rather disturbing as a kid....
Oh wow, so in a way she was a stolen baby. I am happy for the birth mom that she got to see her daughter again, even if it took some time.
I have a crazy story in my family that will probably never get solved, because not all the people involved would give their dna to be tested, or maybe there's no way to solve it, since most of this people are gone now. My grandmother had a big sister, they shared their mom side (different fathers). When big sister reached 16 years old, my grandmother's father abused her, and she got pregnant. That happened around 1930, he decided she should give the baby to the nuns to be taken care of by the church. He dragged her to a train and made her give the baby away in another town, and when they were on their way back, she jumped off the train to try and get her baby back. Here's where the story got complicated, some of her sisters (they are seven) say she couldn't get back to her baby and that was it. But others say she did get her baby back and brought him home. It's important to mention that my great-grandmother was very ill when all this happened, she had colon cancer. My grandmother was like 4 years old, and she says she recall her mom giving birth to one last child, a baby boy BUT her sisters say their mom never gave birth while sick, she took her grandson as her son so that her older daughter could take care of him instead of giving him to the church. No one knows which one is true.
What a story! So many twists and turns. Thanks for sharing.
My cousin was a stolen baby. Taken from my aunt in Tennessee. They told her it had died. She located us in 1992. Her mother had passed away in 1978.
Such a sad situation. Brings me solace that you were reunited.
There was a huge scandal about a Tennessee Children's home that was supposed to be taking care of children temporarily for impoverished mothers. This was in the first half of the 1900s. They were actually adopting them out. I know of a woman who lost all five of her chidren that way.
@NYEmma That was the place. I think it was called Tan's.
Yes, Georgia Tann and the Tennessee Children’s Home in Memphis. Historic Elmwood Cemetery in Memphis is the resting place for several of her victims.
Oh my lord, what an amazing story. As I am writing this, your likes are at 888 and something inside me doesn't want to click 😅
888, full circle, so I will comment instead ! All of these stories are so interesting to me, from an outsider without a clue of how it might feel.
It is now only relevant to me because I hope my children have the gumption to find me. I never abandoned them, their father just decided I was unworthy as a mother and cut me, and my mum (my boys' Mamó) out of their lives.
Our personal quest to know our ancestry is Primal, it is necessary for all of us. I know where I came from, I know my parents and my family. So do my children.
Every one of these stories gives me hope that my boys will fight to find me. Again, I never left them , it was their father who cut me away.
This was an amazing story, and I am glad youtube decided to put it into my feed, thank you ❤
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are reunited with your boys.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Blessings to you 💗
I wonder why the adoptive mom is still lying to " Alex " despite the DNA. If that was me I would never trust her.
I can only speculate she has started to believe in her own lie.
Because she told the birth mother she would stay in touch, but then skipped town with the baby.
Excellent work that you are doing! Amazing ❤
Thanks for watching!
Wow crazy story! So glad it all worked out in time!
I believe I’m the daughter of my aunt and a donor but not sure who that man is. I had an uncle who was an obgyn doctor. Myself and two adopted siblings were all born at the same hospital in Des Moines, Iowa that the uncle practiced at and had an office at. There may be a religious reason or personal family history reason that I and my siblings were never told who our biological parents were. I do not believe that my siblings and I are biologically related to each other. The uncle had nine children and loved helping families. Looking at photographs of the aunt, I realized at age 45 that half of my face looked like hers. The other side of my face looks to be similar to the man I called ‘father’. Everyone is long deceased and I’m 61. Just another weird adoption story🤔
If you have taken an Ancestry DNA test would love to help you sort out everything out and help you find answers!! www.dnangels.org
Test your DNA ...
@ …and compare it to who? Everybody is deceased and my aunt did not have any biological children before or after I was born😉
I commented because I believe odd stories of adoption or deceit by biological parents is probably pretty common. I was born in 1963 before in vitro fertilization became popular. That’s how I believe I was conceived.
@@kathrynmoon8793
Your online Ancestry results show a list of your DNA matches (other people in their database). You can view your paternal and maternal lines separately. You click on the matches with the highest cM number and start grouping them and building a tree.
@@kathrynmoon8793 “invitro” was being performed in the 50s. It was discussed at great length in one of the adoption books I read. If you truly want to know take the Ancestry DNA test. There are many fb group with free search angles who can help you if you need it. It changed my world.
Wouldn't her bio mother now be able to tell her who her bio dad was? Which one of the two brothers? Who was also the father of her full brother with the bio mom.
That is exactly what happened. She was able to confirm the name.
What? I still don’t understand who the bio father is, and where is he?
@@susangallagher986
He's already passed away. He wasn't listed on the original birth certificate -- the man listed on the birth certificate was somebody whose information was used (with his knowledge) so that his insurance would cover the costs related to a hospital birth.
WoW 😳 what an absolutely
fascinating bittersweet life
story!!🙌🏼🤯🧩🧩🧩🙏🏻🫂
i was adopted at six months in the mid-60s, and it's occurred to me that i could have been a stolen baby (a lot of babies were back then.) Until fairly recently, one goal was to make adopted children look as un-adopted as possible, so what happened to Alex probably happened to a lot of kids. i'm glad Alex was able to get her information, but she shouldn't have had to jump through so many hoops.
Well said!
So did Alex's full brother from the birth mom (Rebecca) know which of the brothers was bio dad?
Great question
Yes. Rebecca confirmed the man Kim had suspected, is bio father.
patience, perserverence and hard work. That's what it takes to get results.
My mother's story was somewhat similar. During the search for her mother, she located some of her siblings. I had a chance to meet my uncle once and there are others, though I may never get to meet them.
Im hoping to get a dna test done for my husband as soon as i can get the funds so that maybe we can find his brother who was put up for adoption. His mom doesn't want us to look for him as she says it was supposed to be an open adoption (1980 😂) and he could find her if he wanted. I think she is scared to have to explain to him why ahe gave him up and kept my husband. She also keeps telling us she brought my husband home from the hospital in a snow storm in march of 79 in Columbus Ohio but i can't find any weather evidence that we had snow then so that makes me think he was a year older not younger or my husband is a year older than she says
Ancestry DNA kits are currently on sale for $39.00 The lowest cost I have seen them. Best of luck!
These stories have become very numerous! I think blood tests need to come back before marriage, just to be on the safe side of things! Life just keeps getting weirder!
Life is a strange journey, isn’t it?
What difference would a blood test make?
@@Kristenm28to make sure you aren’t accidentally marrying a sibling, cousin, aunt/uncle…
The dna tests are revealing things that break families apart. Some knew some didn’t. The moral of this story. Honesty matters. Chastity matters. Do not lie and do not cheat on your spouse because it affects a lot more people than just you.
Truth!!
Don't get raped by someone inside or outside your family - more likely.
That mom doesn’t know how to lie ‼️😳 EVERY CHILD DESERVES TO KNOW WHERE AND WHO THEY CAME FROM AND THEN MAKE UP THEIR MIND ABOUT IF THEY WANT TO BE IN THEIR LIFE OR IF THEY WANT TO BE IN THAT CHILD’S LIFE‼️‼️
That is incredible!
Super fascinating thanks
You're welcome! I'm glad you found it interesting.
quick question: I want to get a DNA test, but I'm really worried about privacy. Are there any companies that have stronger privacy policies and protections?
When considering DNA testing services with a focus on privacy, it’s essential to understand each company’s policies and user base. Here’s an overview of AncestryDNA, 23andMe, and MyHeritage:
AncestryDNA:
• User Base: AncestryDNA has a substantial user base, with over 25 million customers.
• Privacy Measures:
• Data Protection: AncestryDNA processes your DNA sample in a secure, third-party laboratory in the United States. Your identity is separated from your sample, which is tracked using a unique activation code.
• Encrypted Storage: Your DNA results are encrypted and stored in a secured database with multiple security measures to prevent unauthorized access.
• Control Over Data: You have control over who can view your DNA results and matches. You can adjust these settings to share as much or as little information as you prefer.
• Data Deletion: If you choose, you can permanently delete your DNA test results. Once deleted, your data cannot be recovered, and your information will no longer be visible to your DNA matches.
• Law Enforcement Requests: AncestryDNA does not allow law enforcement to use its services to investigate crimes or to identify human remains without a valid legal process, such as a court order or warrant.
23andMe:
• User Base: 23andMe has over 15 million customers.
• Privacy Measures:
• Data Protection: 23andMe uses a range of physical, technical, and administrative measures to safeguard your personal information, in accordance with current technological and industry standards. 
• Control Over Data: You decide how your information is used and with whom it is shared. 
• Data Deletion: You can delete your data at any time. 
• Law Enforcement Requests: Since 2008, your individual data has never been released to law enforcement and will only be shared if required by a valid legal process. 
MyHeritage:
• User Base: MyHeritage has over 6 million customers.
• Privacy Measures:
• Data Protection: MyHeritage commits never to sell or license users’ data to third parties. 
• Control Over Data: You have control over your data and can manage your privacy settings. 
• Data Deletion: You can delete your data at any time. 
• Law Enforcement Requests: MyHeritage does not share personal data with law enforcement agencies. 
Considerations:
• Data Ownership: Ensure the company allows you to retain ownership of your genetic data and provides options to delete it upon request.
• Consent for Data Sharing: Look for companies that require explicit consent before sharing your data with third parties.
• Security Measures: Check that the company uses robust security protocols to protect your data.
By choosing a company that aligns with these privacy-focused practices, you can gain valuable genetic insights while maintaining control over your personal information.
As long as you dont make a video and show your test on youtube (like everyone else is doing) and also do not put your results or your matches anywhere online, you should be pretty safe. Your results should stay private to only you and the DNA company. I personally do not trust Ancestry and 23 and me. I used Family Tree DNA and My Heritage for my family's DNA tests.
Also if you really want to stay safe, do NOT upload your DNA to GEDmatch - which matches your DNA to other peoples DNA from other companies. Because some companies do not allow you to upload your DNA if it is from a competing business. I did upload my DNA to GEDmatch and so far have not had any trouble. Not a lot of matches either.
23andMe is struggling and will likely go under soon. I would look elsewhere for a DNA research company. 11/17/2024
Lies are so much worse than bad truth.
Agree so much!
My mother never knew her biological father as she was the product of a date rape by a friend of her mothers brother. He never found out about my mother being conceived. My grandmother married a man while she was pregnant with my mom and he was the one my
mother knew as her father. Since I have a genetic illness, I wish I knew who he was. There is a lot I would like to know.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I can understand how important it is to know your biological roots, especially given your health circumstances.
My girlfriends mom was adopted, and long after her six over-achieving girls were grown she had LEGAL entitlement to find her mother. It turns out her mother was only 100 kilometres away, but no, did NOT want to meet up. Too bad, the sisters are the foundation of their entire town, all well educated and contributing to the community. But you never know the story: women were often on the bad receiving end of a pregancy not wanted durning/after the war and on into the early sixties, before birth control and it's LEGAL availability changed women's lives forever.
Thank you for sharing. So many complexities indeed!
I love the happy ending! Thank God.
I love the kind comment! Have a blessed day!
Just this year, at 51 years old I found out my biological father was raised by a man that wasn't his bio father. I only found out because my daughter had done a dna test and found a relative in Florida that nobody in my family knew who she was but her last name triggered my favorite cousin into telling me that she must be related to my dads real father.....I was dumb struck. Found out my bio grandfather just died 15 years ago. I never got a chance to meet him because of family secrets! Now, my father had found out about his real father back in the 70s but I was a baby and since my dad died when I was barely 17 I wasn't told about his father and still didn't know any of this up until this year. It makes me quite angry that my family just assumed I wouldn't care that I had a real life grandfather I COULD have went to meet before he died but they never told me. Anyway, don't lie or keep secrets from your kids, they WILL find out one way or another. I never met any of my assumed grandparents, they were all dead long before I was born except this one.
Wow, what an emotional journey. It’s heartbreaking to think of the connections and moments you missed out on due to family secrets. I completely agree-secrets have a way of coming to light, and withholding the truth often causes more harm in the long run. Thank you for sharing your story; it’s a powerful reminder of why openness is so important in families.
So very tired of humans lying about every thing! Really prefer other animals--they don't lie!
it is so sad.
The adoptive mom has herself believing the lie. She will probably never be convinced of the truth. So, I’m happy for Alex she gets a relationship with bio family. Don’t be too hard on adopted mom. The mind is a mystery sometimes.
My father never knew that he was adopted. He died before I made the discovery using Ancestry DNA. He was born in the late 1930s when the stigma of being born outside of wedlock was pretty severe so it’s understandable, but why his adoptive parents never said a word in the 1990s while still alive, I’ll never really know
@@clairemoniz4341 hugs
How do i contact you. I've been trying to find my dad.
www.dnangels.org. Click the "request a search angel" link. We do require that you have taken an Ancestry DNA test. Would love to help you!
is there any way you know of anyone in Canada that can help me find my two older brothers?
We are Genetic Genealogists we follow the DNA, not a paper trail. I don't know of anyone in Canada that does those type of searches. I recommend you put your DNA on all platforms in case one of your brothers or his descendants test. Best of luck to you!
Was she legally adopted or just raised by the family? And was Adoptive mom the mom to the “brother”
She was legally adopted, but not until her teens. The adoptive mom was the biological mother to the older brother (who it turns out she has no DNA connection to)
@@KimReicheltif she was legally adopted in her teens, then she must have known then, right? Not when she was 40?
@@capers72424it sounds like she was only legally adopted when she wanted to get her driver license
I need help how do I get in touch with you all?
www.dnangels.org
I want a story like this. My grandfather was sold to another family. His brothers.... 2 Holmes boys. All up to no good. Would love to know both sides of the story. ❤❤
Completely understand! Hugs.
What a journey!
There is more to the story but was limited on time. I'll have to ask this client to be on our Lost and Found: No More Secrets show ( ;
Cool story!
Hi! Appreciate you watching ; )
Would anyone be willing to research my dad’s parentage? There is weird too short timeline stuff with my grandma and being out of country and when my dad is born… my uncle comes in dna as a half uncle on ancestry… my dad took a dna test before he died but his wife said they did it wrong and it didn’t turn out… (they did hers and it was fine)… idk… also he had three kids by a first wife and I have never met them either… idk… I know you guys only work with adoptees… my dad also really looks like my grandma but not so much of my grandpa… specially comparing him to his siblings which are very distinct father’s children
Would love to help! Head over to www.dnangels.org and click "request a search angel"
If you're using Ancestry it allows you to colour code your DNA matches into groups. Start with the closest matches and add them into your tree.
@ how do I know where they go in my tree?
@ I mean, I know they have mother side father side, but my mom recognizes some names but not hardly any and my dad is first generation American. His parents came from Sweden. I will look at color coding..
So, was the client actually adopted or not?
Not legally.
She was legally adopted in her teens.
Certainly not a legal adoption. I'm glad she got her answers and closure.
Thank you, us too.
I have questions I will never get answers for. Adopted "privatly". No info. Can't get info because VA is a closed state.
WE CAN HELP! Take an Ancestry DNA test (they are on sale right now for the lowest you can get them $39). Once you have received your results you can request a Search Angel at www.dnangels.org
I've never heard of a driver's license being denied for lack of a Social Security Account Number. I didn't get my SSAN until a year after I had my driver's license. Of course, it may be different for an immigrant.
She didn't say it was bcs the numbers were wrong, she said the SSN didn't match her name...
So which of the two brothers who had passed was "Alex's" biological father? The elder one or the younger one?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO MY BIRTH MOM IS I KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS .BUT DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS TILL I WAS 74YRS.OLD IWAS STOLEN BY GRANDPARENTS
.I WILL NEVER KNOW. WHO SHE WAS ITS FAR TO LATE NOW
DNA testing is the answer, we are more than happy to help if you have tested with ancestry.
What does a person do when the DNA falsifies the birth certificate? Does one try to get the official records corrected? Or does one just live with it, adding footnotes?
That's a great question! When DNA results show a different biological parent than what's listed on the birth certificate, it can be a tough situation. Some people do choose to update official records, especially if it affects inheritance, health information, or personal identification needs. However, updating a birth certificate usually requires legal steps, which can vary widely by location and may involve presenting DNA results as evidence in court. Others prefer to keep their birth certificate as it is and treat the DNA findings as a personal addition to their family history-essentially like adding "footnotes" that clarify the biological truth without altering the official record. Each approach has its own implications and emotional weight, so it really depends on what feels right for the individual and their family context
@@dnangelsorg2544 Thank you.
Have been a genealogist for a very long time. On Ancestry I was contacted by a gal who claimed her mother or grandmother was an illegitimate daughter of my great uncle...the uncle was no blood relation to me (married to my blood gr aunt) but I knew him very well and he had no children that I knew of. I did include him in my tree which was how the lady found me. Initially I was skeptical...had know him my whole live and never heard anything about having a daughter. But when the other person provided the birth certificate it was 100% true... I asked a cousin of my dad (one of the last of that generation living) if he had ever heard about my uncle "Clelan" having an illegitimate daughter. After a deep breath he said "well I did kind of hear about that" ha ha. I sent her a package of a lot of cool old things from my uncles family...I had kept a lot of things from his family as he had no living kin except up. Family had questioned why I kept those things since I was not related to the family but I guess that was the reason! Not the only story I have of my dads family keeping the family secrets on the down low ha.
Family secrets can be fascinating to uncover.
It could be she was swapped at birth in the hospital. They were not all that precise in hospital and there are more stories like that
True. This story is not that situation.
"Just for fun they take a DNA test." Yeah, right. Sometimes the circumstances of a child's birth are so awful that you wish she would never learn it. Didn't her "mother" love her and raise her right? Alex owes that woman for 40 years of caring, so don't twist the knife in the wound. In my town a man shot his wife to death and then himself. Their newborn died of thirst in her crib. The toddler survived by eating potato chips and drinking water from the toilet. When she asks where her mother and father are, what are we going to say?
Thank you for sharing your perspective. DNA testing can uncover painful truths, but everyone has the right to explore their identity. Honoring the love and care of a parent who raised someone doesn’t diminish their role while seeking biological answers. Ultimately, understanding one’s origins is deeply human and, when handled thoughtfully, can lead to healing and deeper appreciation for family in all its forms.
Wow
Perfectly summed up in one word!
If the biological mom willingly gave the child up for adoption, how is the baby "stolen"?
When client came to us she was looking for her biological truth. She did not know whether she was stolen or adopted. She did not get legally adopted until she was in her teens. Thanks for watching!
Are we talking about baby stealing ? Why is this not under investigation?
Bio mom did consent for baby to be placed with adopted mom. She was not legally adopted until she was a teen. Adopted mom kept the biological truth from her and planned to take the secret to her grave.
@@dnangelsorg2544 I stand corrected. Thank you .
I know this story. It has happened a lot.
Thankfully, our understanding of genetics, parenting, and personal identity has evolved.
At least she wasn't a stolen baby
Right?! However, she should've known the truth as soon as she was mature enough to understand it.
Isn't there one of the Familial DNA tests that gives a list of biological relatives?
They do give you a list of DNA matches.
@@toscatattertail9813 only the ones that have also tested using that same company. So it’s not like you always get very many matches, or any close matches. EX: I’ve done ancestry. On my mom’s side I’ve had an Uncle, Aunt and a half Uncle test plus 5 first cousins and then about 10 children of first cousins. Then a ton of my mom’s first cousins and their kids.
On my dad’s side I’ve had 1 child of a first cousin test and then the others that show up for that side are so far removed from any of my close relatives - we share great great grandparents or great great great grandparents. And that side of my family is HUGE, my dad is one of 9, but no one is doing their dna lol
And her real dad?
One of two brothers.
How is this adoption? There’s no legality in any of this.
Client was legally adopted in her teens after the drivers license incident.
So does the bio mom name the father….?
She did, and it was the man we had identified via her DNA
@@KimReicheltone of the two brothers..and there is a full bio brother?
Get a dna test done.
They did, thats how they found us.
Please can somebody edit the AI generated text so that it makes sense?!
thanks for the advice, we just acquired a new closed captioning application that should help this situation.
Its only going to get worse
You are right. At DNAngels we have made it our mission to help those in need of help of a DNA discovery. Regardless of the amount of money in their bank account. Everyone has an inherent right to know their biological truth.
All my friends cousins are stolen babies it wasnt hard and they dont even know but she knows her mom told her
Heart breaking
Please don’t rock the chair
Noted
Rocking while telling your story makes me feel sea sick.
I know! I am sorry! I need to make a mental note of that.
@@dnangelsorg2544 don't feel bad. I'm a kinetic person too, I'm always rocking, tapping my feet, or moving non-stop. I don't have much control over it. To be honest, I never noticed you were rocking, I was too involved in your story to even notice 😊
Good to know. 😏
reading this story bought painful memories to me. The world is full of liars
It’s heartbreaking how lies and secrets can leave such deep scars, affecting so many lives. You’re absolutely right-the world can be full of dishonesty, and it’s deeply unfair when people have to suffer because of it. Hugs
I was supposed to be the kid of my dad's best buddy a Cherokee man. Since I was born looking very Native. I did DNA tests to try and find living members of his family for medical questions. I several chronic issues. Turns out I was early and not his kid, but he is a cousin of my mother's. They at least passed out in the same bed drunk when Dad was out of town and assumed they did the deed. I was supposedly conceived at that time according to the doctor. Not possible. I am Dad's kid. He looked very white and so did my mom and when questioned for a school project the only had European and Irish, Scottish and English. The European was German and French. Dad has a few and so does mom several ancestors of every race. Let's see Melungeon, Creole from Barbados, various Virginia tribes and others not documented as my percentage is higher than the Natives documented. At least one free person of color. The family from Barbados kept it in the family. We only went to the Irish family reunion. Did hit a wall in that lineage as it only goes back to my great grandfather who was born in Dublin and immigrated from Limerick. The Noonan family. Irish by country, but not as Irish as my mom was told. LOL.
Wow, talk about a family reunion that could make a soap opera plot twist! Who knew a few drinks could lead to such a genealogical mystery? Just remember, every family has its quirks-yours just comes with a side of DNA drama!
Dont turture adoptive mum, she complitly identifies as her mum, leave it like that ❤❤❤
The daughter asking her for information is not torture. Good grief just be honest 🤦♀️
And things weren’t done legally in the beginning
The daughter deserves her truth. Got nothing to do with adopted mum, she lied & lied.
Daughter deserves to know her family health history if nothing else.
You do not understand, she NEEDS to know, the daughter deserves the truth . I felt the same way , no intention of apportioning blame , we just need to know who we are .