Just found this video and it was so helpful. My wife and I have two children and now we are expecting twins 😅. I believe that in the long run the reward and love from my children will beat any anxiety of having 4 children.
Why would anyone judge someone for having kids? Fertility rates worldwide are cratering. Unless one buys hard into the "anti-natalist" idea that humans need to stop reproducing to save Mother Earth, we should be encouraging people to have more kids, since more and more people are refusing to do so.
I know this is an old video but these are the exact same feelings and conversations my husband and I are currently having with the decision for baby number 4. I'm glad it's not just us.
This video was SO enormously helpful. Thank you for putting this discussion out there. You’ve settled my heart so much on the daily spin cycle I feel my emotions have been going through for the past several months. Because we’re the same - it’s the fear of the first 2 years postpartum that’s got us caught up on the decision. But newborn/baby/toddler is such a short window of time; the big picture is what we’re aiming for, and this really helped me to set my mind on that long game ❤️
My third baby is now 9 months old and the stress of feeling like I need a plan for the future is killing me. I only planned for 3 and simply didnt plan this far. I am already experiencing family criticism not to have a 4th because they actually claim to regret having as many as they did. I think i would definitely wait until my 3rd is 3 to try to get pregnant again but i am actually terrified of contraceptive failure because i am freakishly fertile. Your video is so soothing to hear because it reassures me that whether or not i choose to have another baby, i will never feel ready and shouldn’t live to please people
I always wanted a brother i liked playing with boys as a kid i liked that they were more open with jokes they had cool toys with a lot of moving parts to them
This was helpful hearing your story. I'm currently praying about whether we shouldn't have a fourth. I definitely want a fourth, but I've been recently feeling like I should open my hands to God about this, instead of just trying to make it happen, simply because I want it. It's hard though. I've been praying for a clear answer. I know if it's a no, I'm going to be really sad though.
I'm glad to hear that this was helpful. I found myself in a very similar position to what you're describing as we were trying to make our decision. Every time I would think that I made up my mind to have a fourth, I would start second guessing myself and wonder if I was really meant to have a fourth or if I was just being selfish. There truly are so many factors to consider and it can be overwhelming. Praying that you will find clarity soon and that you will be at peace with whatever the answer is...
I don't think it's selfish to want to have another child, unless you manifestly don't have the ability to support it. The "overpopulation" thing is a myth. Just go for it!
Well, I'm due in October with #4! And, man, it's been my first high risk pregnancy. starting at 10 weeks I had hemorrhaging and developed a chronic placental abruption. We thought we would likely lose the baby. The doctors were giving me 50/50 odds of survival for months. I was placed on strict bedrest and pelvic rest for 3.5 months and we had to hire a nanny since my older kids were still so young (oldest is 4 years, youngest was 1yr) I could not care for them with the restrictions. Our whole church and our friends were praying for us like crazy, and God kept caring for us through the whole experience. Last month, at 23 weeks, miraculously we found out that the very large hemorrhage and placenta had quite suddenly and completely healed in just 2 weeks (Up to week 19 it had just continued to grow, and only started to shrink at 21 weeks). Now I'm 28 weeks and baby is perfect. What a journey. I'm so glad I struggled through the decision to have a fourth child until I had peace to move forward. When we decided to have another, we were confident it was the right decision. And, man, this pregnancy has been such a growing experience in our faith. God has taught us so much about depending on Him and others. We had to let go of control, because even the best doctors couldn't fix what was happening. Only God had any control over the outcome. I also feel very confident this is our LAST now. Something I did not feel after our third. No more pregnancy for me! Can't wait to meet this miracle baby boy!
It’s like you were reading my mind. I keep flip flopping wanting a 4th baby and my husband and I are talking about it. He says we definitely can’t start trying right away but we also have no time set. I’m always the one that wants more babies and I really want to make sure my husband is really wanting to have a 4th. I just don’t want him to say yes to make me happy. We definitely have more talking to do but this definitely helped me and my thought process. also your kids age difference is almost exactly the same as mine…we just went girl, girl, boy. Lol they are all so close in age which is exhausting sometimes but I do love seeing how close they are and each others best friends. ❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. We are also on the fence for a 4th baby. Our dilemma is having no help. Already have a 7 yr , 2.5 yr and 7 mo old with the latter 2 being home with us. At least 7 yr old has school. What makes me worried is my mental health having to handle 2 toddlers and a new born at home if we were to hv the 4th one. At the same time both of us have always wanted 4 children. Do I suck it up and hv the 4th or stop? It is so hard to decide.
I know this is a old video but it’s crazy how you are hitting the nail with all of your emotions I thought I was feeling that way alone about baby number four my kids are a little closer in age though my daughter she turns four in April my son just turned two in January and I just gave birth to my third baby in December something in my heart keeps telling me I’m supposed to be a mom of four there are days when I am so for and then there are days where I don’t think I can do it but the fill-in just won’t go away so in time I will find out if I will be a mom of four or not I just can’t believe there’s somebody else out there that is conflicted with the filling just like me although you do have your fourth baby by now congratulations
@Jesse Q honestly I’m waiting to decide when my soon to be 7 month old is 18 months I have the copper iud as of now so I don’t get tempted to add cause I need time for me and maybe that could be a chance for u as well
Need advice I have 3 kids 12.11 and nearly 1. My partner would like the idea of having a slibling for the youngest but i think its a high risk and it luck if everything goes well. Since her 3rd hecwas premature with c.p which is a reality to what can happen. Also im worried incase it didnt go well and my partners health and i wouldnt want to gamble and take that risk when our youngest was perfect and my partner was healing fast and good. She is 37 but the stress of rising two babies at close ages with no extra family help and myself at work is alot for my partner remember theres another 2 to think of. Any suggestions??????? Thanks
Just found this video and it was so helpful. My wife and I have two children and now we are expecting twins 😅. I believe that in the long run the reward and love from my children will beat any anxiety of having 4 children.
wow 4th im struggling to decide to have a 2nd i want to because ive never had a sister or a brother , but my husband only wants the one child
Holy cow. This is word for word what my husband and I are going through right now!!! Insane. Helping me soooo much!
Why would anyone judge someone for having kids? Fertility rates worldwide are cratering. Unless one buys hard into the "anti-natalist" idea that humans need to stop reproducing to save Mother Earth, we should be encouraging people to have more kids, since more and more people are refusing to do so.
I know this is an old video but these are the exact same feelings and conversations my husband and I are currently having with the decision for baby number 4. I'm glad it's not just us.
Same, we have 3 little ones. My husband wants 4 but I don't know if I can do 4
I love that you added those worries in there. What do you do for NFP during the postpartum period?
That's so helpful. Exactly where my husband and I are at with number 4.
This video was SO enormously helpful. Thank you for putting this discussion out there. You’ve settled my heart so much on the daily spin cycle I feel my emotions have been going through for the past several months. Because we’re the same - it’s the fear of the first 2 years postpartum that’s got us caught up on the decision. But newborn/baby/toddler is such a short window of time; the big picture is what we’re aiming for, and this really helped me to set my mind on that long game ❤️
My third baby is now 9 months old and the stress of feeling like I need a plan for the future is killing me. I only planned for 3 and simply didnt plan this far. I am already experiencing family criticism not to have a 4th because they actually claim to regret having as many as they did. I think i would definitely wait until my 3rd is 3 to try to get pregnant again but i am actually terrified of contraceptive failure because i am freakishly fertile. Your video is so soothing to hear because it reassures me that whether or not i choose to have another baby, i will never feel ready and shouldn’t live to please people
I always wanted a brother i liked playing with boys as a kid i liked that they were more open with jokes they had cool toys with a lot of moving parts to them
This was helpful hearing your story. I'm currently praying about whether we shouldn't have a fourth. I definitely want a fourth, but I've been recently feeling like I should open my hands to God about this, instead of just trying to make it happen, simply because I want it. It's hard though. I've been praying for a clear answer. I know if it's a no, I'm going to be really sad though.
I'm glad to hear that this was helpful. I found myself in a very similar position to what you're describing as we were trying to make our decision. Every time I would think that I made up my mind to have a fourth, I would start second guessing myself and wonder if I was really meant to have a fourth or if I was just being selfish. There truly are so many factors to consider and it can be overwhelming. Praying that you will find clarity soon and that you will be at peace with whatever the answer is...
I have been praying on the same things lately
I don't think it's selfish to want to have another child, unless you manifestly don't have the ability to support it. The "overpopulation" thing is a myth. Just go for it!
Well, I'm due in October with #4! And, man, it's been my first high risk pregnancy. starting at 10 weeks I had hemorrhaging and developed a chronic placental abruption. We thought we would likely lose the baby. The doctors were giving me 50/50 odds of survival for months. I was placed on strict bedrest and pelvic rest for 3.5 months and we had to hire a nanny since my older kids were still so young (oldest is 4 years, youngest was 1yr) I could not care for them with the restrictions. Our whole church and our friends were praying for us like crazy, and God kept caring for us through the whole experience. Last month, at 23 weeks, miraculously we found out that the very large hemorrhage and placenta had quite suddenly and completely healed in just 2 weeks (Up to week 19 it had just continued to grow, and only started to shrink at 21 weeks). Now I'm 28 weeks and baby is perfect. What a journey. I'm so glad I struggled through the decision to have a fourth child until I had peace to move forward. When we decided to have another, we were confident it was the right decision. And, man, this pregnancy has been such a growing experience in our faith. God has taught us so much about depending on Him and others. We had to let go of control, because even the best doctors couldn't fix what was happening. Only God had any control over the outcome. I also feel very confident this is our LAST now. Something I did not feel after our third. No more pregnancy for me! Can't wait to meet this miracle baby boy!
@@chrystiannarobinson5613 I'm glad everything seems to be going well. God bless.
This answer all the questions I had 😂.
Thank you very much.
I hope you’re enjoying your family of 6 .
It’s like you were reading my mind. I keep flip flopping wanting a 4th baby and my husband and I are talking about it. He says we definitely can’t start trying right away but we also have no time set. I’m always the one that wants more babies and I really want to make sure my husband is really wanting to have a 4th. I just don’t want him to say yes to make me happy. We definitely have more talking to do but this definitely helped me and my thought process.
also your kids age difference is almost exactly the same as mine…we just went girl, girl, boy. Lol they are all so close in age which is exhausting sometimes but I do love seeing how close they are and each others best friends. ❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. We are also on the fence for a 4th baby. Our dilemma is having no help. Already have a 7 yr , 2.5 yr and 7 mo old with the latter 2 being home with us. At least 7 yr old has school. What makes me worried is my mental health having to handle 2 toddlers and a new born at home if we were to hv the 4th one. At the same time both of us have always wanted 4 children. Do I suck it up and hv the 4th or stop? It is so hard to decide.
I feel like big families are coming back. I know several couples who have 4 kids or are planning to have more than 2 kids.
I know this is a old video but it’s crazy how you are hitting the nail with all of your emotions I thought I was feeling that way alone about baby number four my kids are a little closer in age though my daughter she turns four in April my son just turned two in January and I just gave birth to my third baby in December something in my heart keeps telling me I’m supposed to be a mom of four there are days when I am so for and then there are days where I don’t think I can do it but the fill-in just won’t go away so in time I will find out if I will be a mom of four or not I just can’t believe there’s somebody else out there that is conflicted with the filling just like me although you do have your fourth baby by now congratulations
@Jesse Q honestly I’m waiting to decide when my soon to be 7 month old is 18 months I have the copper iud as of now so I don’t get tempted to add cause I need time for me and maybe that could be a chance for u as well
@Jesse Q if my youngest was that age I’d go for it no doubt, I hear u on stopping the bc that’s why I switched to the iud good luck
Great video! Thank you for this!
Thank you for this video.
Need advice
I have 3 kids 12.11 and nearly 1. My partner would like the idea of having a slibling for the youngest but i think its a high risk and it luck if everything goes well. Since her 3rd hecwas premature with c.p which is a reality to what can happen. Also im worried incase it didnt go well and my partners health and i wouldnt want to gamble and take that risk when our youngest was perfect and my partner was healing fast and good. She is 37 but the stress of rising two babies at close ages with no extra family help and myself at work is alot for my partner remember theres another 2 to think of. Any suggestions??????? Thanks
And here’s us unable to get a sibling for our first after 4 MC’s and ran out of time 😢
The majority of this video seems to be her full story, not the decision to have a 4th. I still am not sure what swayed her.
What gender was your fourth baby?