30 Essential Ideas you should know about ADHD, 8B You are a Shepherd not an Engineer

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2014
  • More similar videos available at my blog
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    You are a shepherd not an engineer. You do not get to design your child. Most of the things that will affect your child and help him turn into the person he will be are out of your control, so stop trying to control them for you will only fail. Instead recognize the amazing power you do have and focus only on that. You get to choose the environment your child gets to live in and experience life. You are a shepherd not an engineer.
    You can not make a sheep into a sheep dog, no matter of wanting it, or throwing stuff at it will make an animal change species. Given proper motivation and the right environment though and that sheep can grow up and be a ram, and still protect the rest of the herd.
    For more videos and info from ADHD Experts check out my blog at
    adhdvideosandinfo.blogspot.com/

ความคิดเห็น • 78

  • @bartonwoodside3356
    @bartonwoodside3356 8 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    Wish MORE Parents Would LISTEN to this GUY! He advises the GOOD SHEPHERD!

    • @ApacheMagic
      @ApacheMagic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It’s very adhd (and autistic- I’m both) to take things literally. Metaphor is our friend, but we have to work on the relationship.

    • @JonathanGrandt
      @JonathanGrandt ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jesus is the Good Shepherd.

    • @whyfor
      @whyfor ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@JonathanGrandt Jesus is a false prophet.
      There's no such thing as immaculate conception.....god didn't fuck Mary and impregnate her through some sort of spooky mystic spiritual telepathy sex!
      The bullshit book states Mary and Joseph were married yet she didn't carry Joe's baby?
      That's because she's an adulterous slut who fell preggers from fucking randoms behind Joe's back.
      Now given the stoning she'd receive if found out, she concocted a wonderful story about god fucking her, feeding her his seed and gifting her with his child..... badda bing badda boom!!!
      There's no god's, no masters and no divine plan......you think a man in a frock who's not allowed to use his cock is going to tell you what's what????
      Get off your knees and do something for yourself, you think you can pray to save the day? You don't know who you are....crack open your cranium and let awareness begin.
      Religious cancer, it's disgusting insidious cancer!!!

  • @juanjohnson1082
    @juanjohnson1082 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I am going to listen to this EVERYDAY for a year!!! My wife & I adopted 7 children (international) and I struggle daily with guilt. What did I do wrong? What was I supposed to do more of? How much more can I do now, even though they are adults? Just hearing this once has lessened some of the weight of feeling like an utter failure.

  • @anniearnette4658
    @anniearnette4658 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have one child with severe disabilities and two children who do not. Experiencing all the typical milestones with my typically developing two regardless of my input, vs. experiencing years of therapy at my disabled child's side to try to accomplish milestones he'd never reach, really taught me what he is so eloquently stating here. The majority of the credit, and the guilt, does not actually belong to me.

    • @hautecouture2228
      @hautecouture2228 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes it belongs to God rather than ‘nature’ or ‘evolution’ to which this freemason attributes it too

  • @CannabisCatog
    @CannabisCatog ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Besides his unbelievable knowledge of Dr. Barkley mixed with his awesome sense of humor is fantastic!

  • @ABC-jq7ve
    @ABC-jq7ve ปีที่แล้ว +7

    People in a higher socioeconomic group tend to naturally like classical music, so they naturally listen to it out of free choice. They will actively choose to listen to it for fun. And the child will end up reading earlier and scoring better at school because of the early childhood environment afforded by the wealthy and highly educated parents.

  • @einsteinzvice4737
    @einsteinzvice4737 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This guy is so on point & relatable! There are so many good Steven Pinker titles!📖 😁

  • @oxytocinated
    @oxytocinated 7 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The video is really interesting, only the subtitles are partly pretty messed up.
    Any possibility to make changes to correct the mistakes?

    • @221b-Maker-Street
      @221b-Maker-Street ปีที่แล้ว

      They're auto-generated live in response to the audio, Charly! 😂
      No-one is going to be able to adjust them because it's the audio that generates the text.

    • @oxytocinated
      @oxytocinated ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@221b-Maker-Street Why shouldn't it be possible to download the auto generated subtitles, correct them and reupload them?

  • @wqwegjrtge8384
    @wqwegjrtge8384 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    oh god i thought first after i read the title he meant that adhs people are better shepherd and bad in engineer things xDDDD

    • @vividhkothari1
      @vividhkothari1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I thought that too lol

    • @sgarciagsg
      @sgarciagsg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So did I 🤣...I was like “but I’m an engineer”

    • @armorsmith43
      @armorsmith43 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@sgarciagsg "but systematizing things to solve people's pain is my love language to society...."

  • @mrsrabbit2712
    @mrsrabbit2712 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Quality not quantity, with regard to stimulation, but yeah i get it and out make sense.
    I've raised 4 children, one adhd. Some things work great, some less, but to an extent there is only so much you can do.

  • @TagNbagUM
    @TagNbagUM ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Every person is a product of Genetics, Environment and Conditioning.

  • @polarpalmwv4427
    @polarpalmwv4427 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    So, as a 48 year old who was just diagnosed with severe ADHD/combined, I have to say - I did NOT need to be treated like I was 1/3 of my actual age growing up. That alone would have made me feel like a complete loser and like I had a significant handicap. I have never had problems with driving. I certainly do not need it to be a law, as he suggests, that I should be medicated in order to be allowed to drive. I graduated high school with decent grades. I got 2 college degrees and worked as a professional for 23 years before my ADHD, and the difficulties it causes, finally caught up with me. I was LOVING this video series until he began speaking about people with ADHD as if they cannot be trusted. Not to take away from all of the great information that he presents - but some of this is highly misleading. I realize that ADHD presents differently in everyone - yet he does not make this clear at all. He makes it sound like ALL ADHD children are outwardly hyperactive - which is NOT true. That idea, alone, is why so many females are overlooked.

    • @aligolightly7359
      @aligolightly7359 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I’m not sure he meant it that way, since he himself has ADHD. But he also had a twin brother who went a different route and died from the problems caused. He encourages caution and concern, but not control.

    • @BarkRuffalo
      @BarkRuffalo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Well the target audience of this talk is for parents of children with ADHD, not us who have it. I interpreted it more like “be cautious and evaluate your child’s case before letting them drive/babysit/go off to college”. Misleading? I don’t think so. Alarmist? Sure

    • @hautecouture2228
      @hautecouture2228 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think he is a freemason ( judging by the symbolism he flashes). They are puppets of the ruling elites and their job is to get everyone medicated. The healthcare system is so corrupt. People should not trust blindly any of these so called experts. Even when they have no bad intentions they are just promoting stuff which is decided by people above them. Most medical doctors are drug reps for the pharmaceutical companies. They do not look to prevent disease or cure anyone. Just to get everyone on life long drugs to treat symptoms . This is the case for 99% of medical conditions

    • @nathantekle6925
      @nathantekle6925 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I agree with this comment

    • @helleeno
      @helleeno 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He is raising awareness, hence the focus on extreme scenarios. Remember this is 9 years old and most people are still clueless about adhd. Depression went a long way. Let’s hope adhd awareness won’t take as long.

  • @ecllipsedeloach65
    @ecllipsedeloach65 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Where can I listen to the entire lecture 🤔

    • @everydy
      @everydy ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Search "Essential ideas for parents" Jason Salotti has it on his YT. It's nearly 3 hrs long

  • @vbond585
    @vbond585 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Asian and Indian parents, hold my bear!!!

  • @kileychamberlain468
    @kileychamberlain468 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What if you homeschool?

  • @jesseskellington9427
    @jesseskellington9427 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    5:12 isolation is so important when raising children. Removing outside influence to ensure your Shepherd goal oriented direction as a parent is achieved when they become adults. G
    You are growing a 401k plan that cares.... That is if you don't want it free thinking child but in obedient child. And an obedient child is an abused child... Just read the book by the American Bar Association ABA published in 2020

  • @sinanolkun
    @sinanolkun 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The same aoutomobile factory can make a Cherry or a Mercedes. I guess instead of saying there is nothig to do it is better to say there is always something to do.

  • @ABC-jq7ve
    @ABC-jq7ve ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The child’s IQ is in most cases the average of the biological parents. If you and your spouse are both average, then most likely your child will be average too. However if it’s extremely low or extremely high, there may be regression to the mean. Meaning, if both you and your spouse have a 140 IQ, the kid may end up 130. If you and your spouse both have 80 IQ, the kid may end up 90. Regression to the mean (100).

  • @mindygough8632
    @mindygough8632 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Who is this speaker, please?

    • @kt4600
      @kt4600 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      dr russell barkley

  • @Whiteowl116
    @Whiteowl116 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ

    • @bobbyd0656
      @bobbyd0656 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂😂😂just one more little one

  • @IbrahimDarwis
    @IbrahimDarwis 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    With CRiSPR we can design a baby like Lulu and Nana as in China. Ethic prevent it, not evolution 😊

  • @richardsaupe
    @richardsaupe ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Really good if paired with adhd and where is research (white paper) that led to this conclusion... useful but not necessarily true!

  • @DavidL-wd5pu
    @DavidL-wd5pu ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You can increase the success of your children by teaching conscientious. Asian parents do it all the time.

  • @commonempowerment
    @commonempowerment ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this, but the advice does seem a little dated. Research is finding that things like ADHD is a combination of nature and nurture. The genes need to be activated by the environment, do they not?

    • @hyrum_abiff4325
      @hyrum_abiff4325 ปีที่แล้ว

      They can be activated by the environment = epigenetics..
      However, in another part of the series of this actual presentation he advisees that a medication can cause ADHD... It was someone like an antibiotic during the ages of 9months to 2 years...
      So yeah he does believe both nurture and nature have an all round effect

  • @IsleNaK
    @IsleNaK 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Not blaming yourself for the ADHD of your child makes sense, however the rest is a pretty pessimistic point of you. It kinda means, that you watch your child ruining their life and you can't do anything about it.
    And isn't there a lot of research on how bad parenting affects the mental health of a child? So I'm not sure it's that uncontrollable. Maybe personality traits are determined by gens but it's parenting that either makes those traits flourish or wither. Just laying back and not reflecting on what you are doing with your child, seems a little bit to simple for my liking.
    But maybe I'm misunderstanding something and he doesn't mean it as extreme as I ended up thinking he does.
    This kinda reminds me of Rousseau. And it shouldn't be interpreted in the direction of laissez-faire but aside from choosing the meadow it actually looks like that's what a shepard is doing with his sheep: laissez-faire.

    • @RogerLuedecke
      @RogerLuedecke 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      He did talk about bad/abusive parenting and it's detrimental effects. However, assuming such gross dysfunction isn't present, he rightly advocates for allowing the individual to emerge and just being a gentle guide.

    • @MysticCystim
      @MysticCystim ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "Abusive parenting" is a misnomer, it is abuse and abuse alone. Imagine seeing a parent verbally and physically abusing a child ... ask your self this ... what am I witnessing? I'll bet the answer isn't "abusive parenting"

    • @muerashoko2210
      @muerashoko2210 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Recommend you listen to the full video : m.th-cam.com/video/SCAGc-rkIfo/w-d-xo.html. This summary does not give the full context. Hope you will appreciate his views better from the full presentation.

    • @MissMarissa415
      @MissMarissa415 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I know you typed this response for years ago, but this video is just now again circulating.
      The shepherd perspective means that , if taken seriously, good parenting = equals ensuring their environment is safe from harm, ensuring the child is well nourished. Etc
      in the case of Rousseau and the theory of laissez-faire parenting , I did not get that notion at all from what he is saying here. What I did grasp however, is that our children are born with a temperament that was determined in utero, which he explains emerges as they grow and develop. Your role as the shepherd essentially is to ensure that as they grow and develop, we give them access to the tools in which they need to thrive as best they can. This gives new meaning to accepting the child for who they are.

    • @lizericsonn9367
      @lizericsonn9367 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      no, it means there are some things your child is going to be genetically influenced by that are out of your control, including many things like personality disorders ambition iq interests and even moral responses are out of your control. You can influence their environment to help how that all comes together, but like the shepherd, you can't change the sheep, only guide them in the best ways to adulthood and hope they learn enough to be functional adults, you teach things like social boundaries, social manners, social expectations for that purpose but you do not design or influence their base drives.

  • @DesSiba
    @DesSiba ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank God! I found one educated person who is against Darwin's Evolution Theory!!! Thank you!

    • @arnewiddingnielsen6483
      @arnewiddingnielsen6483 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He is not.

    • @vojtechvaligura7054
      @vojtechvaligura7054 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      What? Did you listen to what is he saying?

    • @peterchung2262
      @peterchung2262 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This is literally indirectly supporting Darwin's theory? Saying that life experiences (parenting) do not influence evolution.

    • @ABC-jq7ve
      @ABC-jq7ve ปีที่แล้ว

      Let the idiot think what she/he wants.

    • @billythekid8333
      @billythekid8333 ปีที่แล้ว

      Your 400 traits weren't in your favour. Stupidity took first place

  • @rednarok
    @rednarok ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i completly disagree with this man! on the contrary the majority of trauma and mental disabilities come from bad parenting! hello where did all the narcisists and co dependants come from? and how about addiction???? sorry this video is either taken so out of contex because on its own its conpletly wrong!

    • @Plasmafox
      @Plasmafox 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right at the start of that segment he used a quote with a disclaimer excluding abuse and neglect. So, trauma

    • @IsThereBacon1
      @IsThereBacon1 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That's not what he is saying, infact far from it. A narcissus will always be a narcissus, you can't parent these children to not be a narcissus. That's like saying you can make yourself schizophrenic, no you are born predisposed.

  • @rednarok
    @rednarok ปีที่แล้ว +1

    HE FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE PARENTS ARE 100% THE ONLY ONES RESPONSIBLE FOR A CHILD'S DISCIPLINE!!! AND THE AVERAGE AGE ITS TOO LATE TO TEACH IS 4 YEAR'S OLD!!!

    • @Plasmafox
      @Plasmafox 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Too many Americans think discipline means getting their way over the child in the present moment using threats. They think it's about their authority rather than what it's really about- the child's sense of safety and "home"

  • @andymoose1118
    @andymoose1118 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    steve carrell?!?@