General Brasch embarrassingly met up with a squad on Malevelon Creek once. When asked why he was embarrassed he said he was half way to the planet when he realized he forgot his drop pod!
A bug looked General Brasch in the eye once! It willed itself back into E710 encampment. General Brasch doesn't dive into battle. The battle rises to his feet. General Brasch never fought on the creek. Not from fear of the planet, but to let his fellow divers get an experience of combat. General Brasch's personal Super Destroyer doesn't use E710 warp technology. He instead goes out on EVA to throw the ship because the FTL jump is too slow. General Brasch was taken into Super Court once. He had to declare himself guilty because the judge was too scared to come out of bed. General Brasch always participates in the annual General Brasch look alike contest. He always has to win 3rd place because he keeps crushing the 2nd and 1st podiums under his sheer democratic pride.
I give you new ones. --- “When General Brasch enters a battle, the mission changes to 'Survive General Brasch.'” “Enemies don’t have a plan against General Brasch. They have last words.” “General Brasch doesn’t wear armor for protection; it wears him for inspiration.” “When General Brasch steps on a landmine, the landmine apologizes.” “General Brasch doesn’t see obstacles-he sees future craters.” “When General Brasch raises his weapon, gravity takes the day off.” --- And one more: “General Brasch doesn’t just set the bar-he’s the reason there’s a bar.”
Only reason why the bots moved fronts was because General Brasch head dived onto Malevalon creek. They are yet to approach the front in fear of waking him up.
once, i played with general brasch on super helldive. he plugged every bug breach, cleared out all objectives and extracted with us, all before initiating our hellpod launch.
One time, took a leak in a portashitter out on the front. Whilst urinating, I looked up, and written across the top of the inner kaibo wall were the words **←look left**. So, mid stream, I turned and looked left, and found at the top of the wall, above the door on the inside were written the words **←look left**. So, still emptying my reservoir into the inside walls of the field toilet, I turned and saw once more, written on the top of the inside wall the words **←look left**. Upon having made a nearly 360° turn inside this portapotty, I look at the top of the fourth and final wall to see written at the top the words **THIS IS WHAT YOU SEE AFTER A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE FROM GENERAL BRASCH**
General Brasch doesn't use Hellpods to deploy because the impact of him landing is as powerful as 20 Hellbombs. This claim however is his own as he chose to limit that to 20 to let other Helldivers have some fun when they land.
General Brasch was the result of a super soldier experiment that cost the lives of billions of soldiers. It was worth it. John Helldiver is General Brasch’s one attempt to replicate the process on someone else. It took two days, and was 99% successful.
You sir have earned a subscription. However, I cannot bring myself to disrupt the current sub count, it is too perfect. Should it ever change, I'll do my part.
Bold of you to assume you are separate people, we all know chuck Norris is immortal, he just decides to change his name and fight for super earth thousand years later
General Brasch has a Bile Titan carpet in his super destroyer. The Titan isn’t dead, just to scared to move. The General doesn’t need to use weapons, his body is far deadlier than any instrument of war. He uses a gun to challenge himself and give his foes a fighting chance. General Brasch once gave a Hulk a heart attack. General Brasch’s blood will kill any bug or bot instantly on contact however the General has yet to be wounded. General Brasch can squeeze coal into diamond. Once a traitorous Helldiver called in a 500kg bomb in General Brasch’s head. The bomb never landed, being too afraid of what Brasch might do to it if it did.
I don’t know who this General Brasch is but it sounds like I can easily take him on
Your funeral
Your funeral
Your funeral
sounds like treason
Your funeral
Before contact with humans,
The Illuminates didn't have a word for fear in their language;
Now their word for fear is "Brasch".
As a human may a Illuminate confirm this for me?
@@Zilla9990-pn9lq Nah we could take him
Chuck Norris memes never died… they were just missing in action!
Halo Reach was really good though
@@Grape7676Was? It's still awesome 😆
Nothing could kill Chuck Norris... then General Brasch walked in
General Brasch's pelican got shot down over Malevelon Creek once. After three days of marching, he made it to his new extraction point on Fori Prime.
Good one!
You're not leaving the mission area, just entering General Brasch's line of sight.
General Brasch once threw a grenade and killed 30 hulks.
And then the grenade expoded.
General Brasch can open bunkers alone
Holy shit
Wow, God damn!
General Brasch is so crazy he once killed 3 factory striders. Then he took out his gun
General brasch doesn't need to fill a form to get a pet fish, the pet fish needs to fill out a form to get adopted by him
The Illuminate wont be back until general brasch goes back to sleep
General Brasch was the first soldier to land on Hellmire before he landed it was just Mire...
Lmao nice
General Brasch is so humble, he let Chuck Norris take a selfie with him
When General Brasch was young he used to make paper airplanes in school, this is how the Super Destroyers came to be
General Bracsh once raced time, legend has it time is still running
They say that bots walk back into fabricators and let themselves be disassembled when they learn general Brasch is nearby
General Brasch once liberated a planet by broadcasting his arrival in orbit
Y’all know those 9999999 scores on Stratagem Hero? That’s just Brasch on different accounts.
General Brasch didn't dial the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.
The last one would have been perfect with “Too bad he never sleeps”
General Brasch once stared down at a bile titan, the titan was so scared it devolved into a bile spitter.
General Brasch embarrassingly met up with a squad on Malevelon Creek once.
When asked why he was embarrassed he said he was half way to the planet when he realized he forgot his drop pod!
Lmao amazing
A bug looked General Brasch in the eye once! It willed itself back into E710 encampment.
General Brasch doesn't dive into battle. The battle rises to his feet.
General Brasch never fought on the creek. Not from fear of the planet, but to let his fellow divers get an experience of combat.
General Brasch's personal Super Destroyer doesn't use E710 warp technology. He instead goes out on EVA to throw the ship because the FTL jump is too slow.
General Brasch was taken into Super Court once. He had to declare himself guilty because the judge was too scared to come out of bed.
General Brasch always participates in the annual General Brasch look alike contest. He always has to win 3rd place because he keeps crushing the 2nd and 1st podiums under his sheer democratic pride.
These are good, and I liked the last two especially.
General Brash has termanide eggs with bile titan spit for breakfast
The stalker's ability to turn invisible was because they feared General Brasch would find them.
Lmao damn thats good
General Brasch once talked tactics in his sleep. This became the basis of all SEAF military doctrine.
“Huh… So that’s why it isn’t an exact step by step guide… Interesting…”
Me learning this as a Helldiver…
General Brasch is the reason the illuminate fled the galaxy
3:15 Too bad general Brasch never sleeps
General Brasch got boared one day, thats the day Joel created the factory strider in an attempt to keep him occupied
It didnt work.
I once saw General Brasch liberate an entire planet with only a Senator. Only once he was back on the super destroyer did he finally reload
I give you new ones.
---
“When General Brasch enters a battle, the mission changes to 'Survive General Brasch.'”
“Enemies don’t have a plan against General Brasch. They have last words.”
“General Brasch doesn’t wear armor for protection; it wears him for inspiration.”
“When General Brasch steps on a landmine, the landmine apologizes.”
“General Brasch doesn’t see obstacles-he sees future craters.”
“When General Brasch raises his weapon, gravity takes the day off.”
---
And one more:
“General Brasch doesn’t just set the bar-he’s the reason there’s a bar.”
General Brasch once threw an impact grenade,
it killed 3 Scout Striders
4 Tanks
And 2 fabricators
Then it exploded
Only reason why the bots moved fronts was because General Brasch head dived onto Malevalon creek. They are yet to approach the front in fear of waking him up.
The bile spewer puke on General Brasch, after many tiring hours the bile spewers population decreased by 50%
General Brash stopped a charger with his bare hands once; the charger died from the sudden stop.
General Brash once took down a squadron of gunships, five factory striders, fourteen tanks, and nine hulks...
With a toothpick.
General Brasch was only talked back once,that same person can now only scream in fear every time he speaks,his name is Sly Marbo
OH DAMN… YOU’RE PULLING OUT SOME OLD MATERIAL WITH THAT!
When General Brasch exits his hellpod it doesn't push him up to the surface, it pushes the planet down.
"General Brasch was born on a Super Destroyer he built himself" is amazing LMAO
once, i played with general brasch on super helldive. he plugged every bug breach, cleared out all objectives and extracted with us, all before initiating our hellpod launch.
General Brasch can't actually drown, because the water is too afraid to touch him.
General brasch lights cigars with the fire tornados of hellmire.
General Brasch starts his day by eating a bowl of nails for breakfast
without any milk.
General Brasch is a guy who would fight an army of Automaton scum with only two sticks and a rock.
When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-schmancy tanks.
yup, and he had to share them with his squadmates
Orbital Laser is General Brasch's piss
General Brasch once pissed on the moon. From Super Earth.
General brasch once met the illuminate, that's why they haven't attacked.
Detector towers were only built to spot general Brasch, so the automatons know to run.
One time, took a leak in a portashitter out on the front.
Whilst urinating, I looked up, and written across the top of the inner kaibo wall were the words **←look left**.
So, mid stream, I turned and looked left, and found at the top of the wall, above the door on the inside were written the words **←look left**.
So, still emptying my reservoir into the inside walls of the field toilet, I turned and saw once more, written on the top of the inside wall the words **←look left**.
Upon having made a nearly 360° turn inside this portapotty, I look at the top of the fourth and final wall to see written at the top the words
**THIS IS WHAT YOU SEE AFTER A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE FROM GENERAL BRASCH**
Bro cooked a whole ass story
General Brasch once killed 20 Automaton Hulks with 1 impact grenade. The impact grenade then exploded 5 seconds after.
Chuck Noris
Sly Marbo
General Brasch
General Brasch doesn't use Hellpods to deploy because the impact of him landing is as powerful as 20 Hellbombs. This claim however is his own as he chose to limit that to 20 to let other Helldivers have some fun when they land.
John Helldiver was trained by General Brasch
General Brasch was the result of a super soldier experiment that cost the lives of billions of soldiers. It was worth it.
John Helldiver is General Brasch’s one attempt to replicate the process on someone else. It took two days, and was 99% successful.
The Illuminates delayed their invasion because General Brasch took a fishing trip at the bottom sector. (aquatic aliens)
Walking barrages start running when General Brasch gets too close
This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen lol
legends say that the orbital laser is just General Brasch missing the super urinal. too bad he never misses.
It's speculated that Stalkers developed camouflage after nesting in General Braschs back garden
Whatever battle Brasch is deployed to, super earth marks it as a victory as preparation.
40K has Sly Marbo, and Helldivers has General Brasch. Noticing a pattern?
Ah yes. Sly Marbo! Of the Catachan Jungle Fighters!
You sir have earned a subscription. However, I cannot bring myself to disrupt the current sub count, it is too perfect. Should it ever change, I'll do my part.
Honourable sacrifice
it changed, you can sub
I heard that a Stalker bit General Brasch one time. After 5 agonizing days the Stalker exploded and took out a nest.
Bold of you to assume you are separate people, we all know chuck Norris is immortal, he just decides to change his name and fight for super earth thousand years later
General Brasch has a Bile Titan carpet in his super destroyer. The Titan isn’t dead, just to scared to move.
The General doesn’t need to use weapons, his body is far deadlier than any instrument of war. He uses a gun to challenge himself and give his foes a fighting chance.
General Brasch once gave a Hulk a heart attack.
General Brasch’s blood will kill any bug or bot instantly on contact however the General has yet to be wounded.
General Brasch can squeeze coal into diamond.
Once a traitorous Helldiver called in a 500kg bomb in General Brasch’s head. The bomb never landed, being too afraid of what Brasch might do to it if it did.
Now... General Brasch or John Helldiver. Who would win in a fight?
His full name is John "Helldiver" Brasch.
unstoppable force meets an immovable object
I don't know why he would fight his child.
General Brash can extract himself by using the Jump-Pack
The gas warbond was heavily inspired by Brasch's sleep farts
General Brascch approves Joel’s MOs before he publishes them.
For all I know, THIS IS CANNON. He's THAT skilled
On General Brasch's ship he can select to deploy on difficulty level 11 (trivial)
The orbital laser is just general Brasch taking a piss
General Brasch uses the Polar Patriots warbond weapons on Helldive missions.
General Brasch founded Super Earth.
General brasch are having his morning routine on meridia
Everytime I hear about General Brasch my chest hair count quintuples and my voice gets deeper.
Made so much better that General Brasch sounds just like Drifter from Destiny 2
Who would win?
John Helldiver
General Brasch
Karl
Rock and Stone! (For democracy)
They all win, as they are all unstoppable. We just need a 4th individual to complete the squad.
What if general brasch is just chuck norris in helldiver armor
Much better than Norris, he hasnt done fuckall in 25 years and was never as great as the propaganda said.
This is more accurate.
Norris walked, so Brasch could liberate
General brasch doesn't helldive he's the hell bringer
General Brush is the best
General 🪥
Sly marbo be like
I, for one, am looking forward to the Jarismic videos on Deep Rock Galactic season 5
Col.100 vibes
Replace Chuck Norris? Don’t be so Brasch.
erm what the sigma‼🗣🔥
Sigma balls
24 views in 10 hours? Jarismic fell off
Yeah yeah
Lmao
Get on
Ew reddit stinky stinky
shut up nobody cares about what you think