Thanks for sharing this Paulien! I actually understood every word you said in this video. I have struggled with anxiety, and for the past year or two, I have been able to manage it better and learned that my brain likes to cough out bad thoughts. I had to consistently remind myself that they were not true and were just ways to get me to not enjoy the moment. I find myself in a better state, but my fear brain has also popped up in my love life. My fear brain has always done this while I was dating, and it would instantly tell me stuff like "Is she the one?” or look at some flaw in the person to reason why I should leave. Currently I am in a relationship, and I am grateful for it because we share a great connection, compatibility, and healthy communication. But I do struggle with those thoughts to this day. So I really appreciate this video because you really explained what I go through. Sometimes it gets the best of me and numbs me. My aim is to heal from my FA attachment and be able to really enjoy life! Your vids have gotten me through the worst, and I appreciate your content because it's helping me grow! ♥
My intrusive thoughts usually kick in the worse when I was in a toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. After we broke up it was the worst. I just could not get my brain to stop thinking about him and the relationship and what went wrong. It doesn’t matter what went wrong to a point it’s just important to acknowledge that it did and move on.
This is so sad to hear. Im not fearful avoidant and I have intrusive thoughts all the time as does everyone i know. I cant imagine taking them seriously or thinking they mean something is bad about you when its just so totally normal
I had/have two types: - the ones where I was doing something wrong that, as far as I remember, I've never taken seriously - the ones where something bad happens to the person I care the most and these freak me out and trigger a panick attack if I am really tired or in burnout
That's really interesting regarding the panic attacks! I was dating an FA who had panic attacks when her 'loved' ones were around in her bad times. I thought it was alcohol related, and it might be (alcohol addiction) but now I've seen your comment, that's intrigued me
@@DobermanDanK9 I still haven't figured it out why I have them, I don't remember losing someone for a sudden death in childhood but still I have these thoughts. It's not about death for old age or illness, only sudden death like an incident or heart attack or similar things. And, as far as I remember, I started having them after the sudden death of a guy I knew but this was at University and I was 23 years old
@@DobermanDanK9 it could be. I have these thoughts that come out if there are certain circumstances and my brain starts to link all the things together, for example one evening I was coming home from work, I saw ambulances coming towards my direction, heading somewhere but in the same direction of a specific place and I saw the time. When home I texted my bf and saw when he was online last time and that was 20 mins before the ambulances. After an hour there were no replay and no activity, after 2 hours the same...my brain started to make connections (all the single details were falling perfectly in place) and I started to freak out, I had been in burnout for 3 days so I couldn't stop those thoughts...I managed to hear from him after 3 hours, he had left the phone in the car. If I wasn't in burnout, I could have handled the thoughts
I have intrusive thoughts all the time. Especially driving. I have a fear of slamming in the back of someone’s car out of nowhere, which is healthy fear. I understand it’s my fear brain telling me to pay attention & not slip so I embrace it
Hey Pauline, I love your content. I am in the crash state of my attachment and have been in it for yearssss. i keep relasping over a lot of issues and the healing feels too slow. i sabotaged my life so much that after college, i ended up living at my parents house again- somewhere i had dreamed of running away from always. I wanted your guidance on EFT- would you suggest to do tapping on everything that comes up or would you suggest to stick to one topic and focus on healing a particular issue? and if you have any other tips related to fear of shining or self sabotage of relationships, career because recently i have come to realise that the ONLY time i feel safe is when i am hidden and isolated. would you have any tips on healing this and did you ever experience similar feelings?
Thanks for sharing this Paulien! I actually understood every word you said in this video. I have struggled with anxiety, and for the past year or two, I have been able to manage it better and learned that my brain likes to cough out bad thoughts. I had to consistently remind myself that they were not true and were just ways to get me to not enjoy the moment. I find myself in a better state, but my fear brain has also popped up in my love life. My fear brain has always done this while I was dating, and it would instantly tell me stuff like "Is she the one?” or look at some flaw in the person to reason why I should leave. Currently I am in a relationship, and I am grateful for it because we share a great connection, compatibility, and healthy communication. But I do struggle with those thoughts to this day. So I really appreciate this video because you really explained what I go through. Sometimes it gets the best of me and numbs me. My aim is to heal from my FA attachment and be able to really enjoy life! Your vids have gotten me through the worst, and I appreciate your content because it's helping me grow! ♥
My intrusive thoughts usually kick in the worse when I was in a toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. After we broke up it was the worst. I just could not get my brain to stop thinking about him and the relationship and what went wrong. It doesn’t matter what went wrong to a point it’s just important to acknowledge that it did and move on.
This is so sad to hear. Im not fearful avoidant and I have intrusive thoughts all the time as does everyone i know. I cant imagine taking them seriously or thinking they mean something is bad about you when its just so totally normal
I had/have two types:
- the ones where I was doing something wrong that, as far as I remember, I've never taken seriously
- the ones where something bad happens to the person I care the most and these freak me out and trigger a panick attack if I am really tired or in burnout
That's really interesting regarding the panic attacks!
I was dating an FA who had panic attacks when her 'loved' ones were around in her bad times.
I thought it was alcohol related, and it might be (alcohol addiction) but now I've seen your comment, that's intrigued me
@@DobermanDanK9 I still haven't figured it out why I have them, I don't remember losing someone for a sudden death in childhood but still I have these thoughts. It's not about death for old age or illness, only sudden death like an incident or heart attack or similar things. And, as far as I remember, I started having them after the sudden death of a guy I knew but this was at University and I was 23 years old
@koala01111986 Interesting! So could it be a retrigger of loss?
The woman I was dating lost her partner to cancer so it's in a similar ilk
@@DobermanDanK9 it could be. I have these thoughts that come out if there are certain circumstances and my brain starts to link all the things together, for example one evening I was coming home from work, I saw ambulances coming towards my direction, heading somewhere but in the same direction of a specific place and I saw the time. When home I texted my bf and saw when he was online last time and that was 20 mins before the ambulances. After an hour there were no replay and no activity, after 2 hours the same...my brain started to make connections (all the single details were falling perfectly in place) and I started to freak out, I had been in burnout for 3 days so I couldn't stop those thoughts...I managed to hear from him after 3 hours, he had left the phone in the car. If I wasn't in burnout, I could have handled the thoughts
I have intrusive thoughts all the time. Especially driving. I have a fear of slamming in the back of someone’s car out of nowhere, which is healthy fear. I understand it’s my fear brain telling me to pay attention & not slip so I embrace it
Hey, when are you going to do another live?
Hey Pauline, I love your content. I am in the crash state of my attachment and have been in it for yearssss. i keep relasping over a lot of issues and the healing feels too slow. i sabotaged my life so much that after college, i ended up living at my parents house again- somewhere i had dreamed of running away from always. I wanted your guidance on EFT- would you suggest to do tapping on everything that comes up or would you suggest to stick to one topic and focus on healing a particular issue? and if you have any other tips related to fear of shining or self sabotage of relationships, career because recently i have come to realise that the ONLY time i feel safe is when i am hidden and isolated. would you have any tips on healing this and did you ever experience similar feelings?
Hey, when are you going to do another live?