I was having this conversation with my friend recently, how do you know when you’re ready? I’m 32 and although I used to pressure myself into “perfection” in my 20s, God showed me His plans and I am so glad he did!! Although my parents married one another young and my younger sister Is married, I think I’m just coming into the point in my life where I truly know myself and I am thankful for the journey!! I know when it’s time God will bless me with the person meant for me, but I know until then He is preparing me to show up as the best version of myself in that union. I’m learning compassion, understanding, compromise, abandoning my pride, etc. in my everyday life. Whenever I do date again I hope to bring these things to the table.
When you see both the couples, you definetly can see how mature Grant & Tamia look in their way of listening and responding to the other two arguing, and i believe this is one of their secrets for their long and happy relationship together.... I admire them
Grant made some HUGE points about how "men and their SO CALLED homeies" try to talk them out of getting married or really settling down! This is what goes on in these "so called" friendships with these guys and their "homies" 💯. They don't genuinely care about them, they just don't want to see you happy because their not happy/ they don't want to lose their hoeing partner to run the streets laying it low and spreading it wide💯💯💯 Grant did right by sticking to what HE wants and finding real love and happiness in staying with and marrying Tamia, and did great by changing the dynamic within his so called hoe-mies, because they obviously weren't his REAL homeies👀 💯👏🏾👍🏾✌🏾🤎🤎
There is a promotion of singularity and married is frowned upon. Men who are not raised to promote family will not encourage marriage. Men are the first to frown upon a woman's single friends, but they omit the men in their circle as the biggest haters, disguised.
Thankfully Grant had family values he treasured. As he said, his Grandma said MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING YOU ONLY DO ONCE. So he had a VISION of commitment being a GOOD thing! INTERESTINGLY: 1. Grant was RAISED in a stable, TWO PARENT MARRIED COUPLE household. That makes a difference. 2. It's important for us to surround ourselves with friends with THE SIMILAR VALUES as well as MENTORS who've accomplished what we're hoping to do. Those friends [notice Grant says they're no longer friends...] didn't even say get engaged but marry a little LATER.... They said WHY are you going to get married. Smh.
I love seeing positive, beautiful black couples. I believe each person and marriage is different. I do disagree with either be happy or right though. I believe if you're constantly growing and maturing; being right all the time shouldn't be a issue.
I was thinking the same thing when it comes to being right or happy. Is my (or any person’s) ego that fragile to where I can’t be proven wrong by my/your spouse? If they genuinely are correct and share their thoughts in a respective manner, your collective happiness should not be at a detriment because “you’re wrong”
@Henry Brown Re @6:16 onwards, I agree with your comment except for the words "right all the time."😂 NO-ONE is RIGHT ALL the time.😁 My take on this is: I think that when MEN PASSIVELY YIELD to a woman with "Yes Dear" or " You're RIGHT Dear" just to be happy, that leads to RESENTMENT.... Couples HAVE to learn HOW to communicate effectively & resolve issues. 🔹There's a NUANCE to this. A GOOD way to do this is being CONFIDENT in being RIGHT, to the point where you LET GO of asserting it over your spouse. 🔹You can HUMBLY GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO BE RIGHT and let the other person find out the truth in their own time. Then when they do, you still HUMBLY REFRAIN from saying "I TOLD YOU SO." 🔹This requires PRAYER though. Prayer to have the RIGHT HEART & FOCUS on YOUR OWN GROWTH, while not being fearful that your spouse is not doing THEIR part. That takes TRUST IN GOD'S TRANSFORMING POWER BEING RELEASED into your spouse's HEART. 🔹 *Usually someone who has to LORD it over someone when they're right OR someone who's AFRAID to ADMIT THEY'RE WRONG have TRUST & CONTROL ISSUES.* Love means you just want what's BEST for the *TEAM.* 🔹If every married couple chose to *MEMORIZE 1Corinthians13 & used it as a REFERENCE GUIDE, [both PRE & DURING MARRIAGE,] there would be far less divorce because INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER CHANGE would eliminate many marital issues.* God Bless!💙
It's not about coffee. Its about looking out for the other person. To be selfless is Selfcare, when the two of you have become One, Amen!!!👏👏👏Thank me later for explaining that to a tea, Glory!! #DISCERNMENT
People always say the right one comes along when you're not looking. So for all my single people including myself, be patient and focus on you. The one for you will come 😊.
They definitely do come along then. Couple of inconvenient, but SUUUCH helpful tips- Be open to meeting someone online, or via Meetup, social club etc Be open to a different race or culture Be open to going to different neighborhoods for your daily duties. Grocery store, coffee shop, etc. Especially in the nicer neighborhoods. Go during the day when other single, yet responsible people shop! 😘😘
That’s the nugget! You HAVE to have other married people to turn to to counsel couples/married folks last❣️OMG! I’m neither of the two, sadly, but I no longer will take ANY advice from anyone single lbvs ❤️
Listening and Watching these snippets of gems are priceless. My wife and I just got married, during this pandemic and it only reassured our decision to make this journey of commitment, worth every step. I cried so many tears I didn't know I was a capable of, and It was a sign that this was the right choice from God. all that to say I love hearing the wealth of information they are speaking through just simple dialogue. as a young black man I didn't have many examples to show what marriage would look like, so its more reason to commit to every day to my wife. Shoutout to Black Love and the information they relay with these videos. Much Love, Peace!
Women learn to be quiet too. Learning our husbands as a result of listening. Being right is not so important as being understood and getting an understanding that its about the love and companionship that the two even cares. Treat each other how we each would treat ourselves. Our spouse is an extension of our heart and body. So self-esteem is extremely important. If someone doesn't like themselves, or sees themselves as useless, disposable or red solo cup frame of mind, the other spouse will have work to do to build that one up, it maybe that spouse can not handle the sad unloving treatment I. The process of helping the other build self worth and be secure in their own skin. When it works that couplenis stronger for it. When the one with low self-esteem refuses to overcome their character flaws and the other begins to have low self-esteem in reaction or response, that is gonna take outside help, counseling and support community. Such supports every couple thrives in. Look, marriages take a village too because good and lasting strong marriages have ups and downs. Marriage is not a passive relationship. It takes work.
It’s funny how black people talk about how young they were (in their 20s) when getting married like it’s not a natural thing to do. Whites and other cultures get married in their early 20s and there’s not a “taboo” conversation around this fact. I love them together though.
Exactly...and I bet the guys who tried to talk him out of it were all Black men and all players...They probably now have children by multiple women and are nearly broke paying child support
@Sharene D Those same "fears" don't apply when they're dating non-black women...They want to "snatch them up before another ngga can"...They place higher value on them and don't typically postpone marriage with them
You are absolutely right and I always wondered about this. I honestly think it's cultural. I feel like in the black community we put so much focus on allowing a man to "sow his oats" before marriage. I don't think marriage is viewed as a "goal"..."something to be proud of" as much in the black community compared to other cultures. We don't take as much pride in building legacies and creating foundations like other cultures. Even in many African countries they still take pride in legacies and building foundations for their families...so I don't know. I don't know if the breakdown started because of US slavery or not.
GOD is love. GOD created marriage, so ONLY GOD knows who "go together" and how to make their love grow. When GOD puts a MAN + a WOMAN together in marriage, He prepares them for each other first. If you want a loving marriage, then start your marriage preparation season by praying and reading the BIBLE (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth). See Genesis 1-3; Isaiah 54; Song of Songs/Solomon; Ephesians 5; Revelation 19, 21. Peace!
I don’t know if it’s just me but I’m 21 about to be 22 and I don’t want to date around I know what I want. I can’t with my generation and this situationship and hooking up . I wanted to be married 💯and I don’t feel like I’ll be missing out on anything just by getting married young .
I commend you for being young but knowing both what you want and don't want. I also commend you for not allowing the craziness of today's distorted reality interfere with what you want!
Def disagree with the be right or be happy idea. It’s called communication. They talk about what they’ve learned from these couples and that’s the number 1 lesson I’ve taken from every couple
I love Black Love...I have gotten a lot of advice. I am in a relationship known him since 2003. 1 child. Relationship since September 2019...marriage is not something I see because I feel he is a little selfish and other signs I see not bad stuff🤔. But all in all he is an amazing guy. Maybe not for me ? 🤷🏽♀️
I've watch Grant Hill for so long he was supposed to be my husband in head until I learned of him & Tamia dating then married. Though my heart was shredded in pieces I absolutely was obsessed with her music that I was willing to tolerate her marrying my boo. Seriously though I love these 2 ppl together. Very lowkey low profile especially since both had high profile careers during that time it really beautiful to still see them going strong. Never recall seeing them in a negative or risky situation publicly. Just really good ppl protecting their privacy
Some of the phrases associated with marriage don’t seem appealing to men or they need to be updated in my opinion. I hate the phrase happy wife happy life it sounds as though the mans happiness is not important in the marriage. I also cringed when he said as a man you can be right or you can be happy.
The sickest thing THAT EVERYONE FINDS IT PROPER TO AGREE TOO! As a man in a marriage, I EITHER want to be right! Or be happy! THAT'S so much about EGO! Truly (EDGING GOD OUT) for everyone to agree with that reason is bothersome FOR MY SOUL.
Point blank if you are selfish narcissistic type of person don't ever waste someone's time getting married. It's also more to it than that expensive ceremony ladies that you spent months planning to make all your girlfriends jealous as well...
Marriage is God plan and if one follow God. Then you will not have a problem. And marriage isn't work we have to hold God at the head. I have yet to meet a woman of God.
“Committed to being committed “. That’s it, brother!
💣💣💣
I am happy to see Grant and Tamia ..... beautiful couple .💞💕💞💕💞
Man, I love to see my people doing good...real black love man!!!!
I was having this conversation with my friend recently, how do you know when you’re ready? I’m 32 and although I used to pressure myself into “perfection” in my 20s, God showed me His plans and I am so glad he did!! Although my parents married one another young and my younger sister Is married, I think I’m just coming into the point in my life where I truly know myself and I am thankful for the journey!! I know when it’s time God will bless me with the person meant for me, but I know until then He is preparing me to show up as the best version of myself in that union. I’m learning compassion, understanding, compromise, abandoning my pride, etc. in my everyday life. Whenever I do date again I hope to bring these things to the table.
Amen love your comment
Omg I feel just like you! I am 31 and just feeling ready too lol!
Same here
There is a reward in the wait. Believe it and you will receive.
Beautifully said!
When you see both the couples, you definetly can see how mature Grant & Tamia look in their way of listening and responding to the other two arguing, and i believe this is one of their secrets for their long and happy relationship together.... I admire them
When love makes you look and feel good
Grant made some HUGE points about how "men and their SO CALLED homeies" try to talk them out of getting married or really settling down! This is what goes on in these "so called" friendships with these guys and their "homies" 💯. They don't genuinely care about them, they just don't want to see you happy because their not happy/ they don't want to lose their hoeing partner to run the streets laying it low and spreading it wide💯💯💯 Grant did right by sticking to what HE wants and finding real love and happiness in staying with and marrying Tamia, and did great by changing the dynamic within his so called hoe-mies, because they obviously weren't his REAL homeies👀 💯👏🏾👍🏾✌🏾🤎🤎
There is a promotion of singularity and married is frowned upon. Men who are not raised to promote family will not encourage marriage. Men are the first to frown upon a woman's single friends, but they omit the men in their circle as the biggest haters, disguised.
Depends on the circle. Real friends become family and want you to do well. Ego and jealousy to the side.
Thankfully Grant had family values he treasured. As he said, his Grandma said MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING YOU ONLY DO ONCE.
So he had a VISION of commitment being a GOOD thing!
INTERESTINGLY:
1. Grant was RAISED in a stable, TWO PARENT MARRIED COUPLE household. That makes a difference.
2. It's important for us to surround ourselves with friends with THE SIMILAR VALUES as well as MENTORS who've accomplished what we're hoping to do.
Those friends [notice Grant says they're no longer friends...] didn't even say get engaged but marry a little LATER.... They said WHY are you going to get married. Smh.
Preach and back then Men were promoting hoe-ing like water
Grant and Tamia are too chill I love it!
I love seeing positive, beautiful black couples. I believe each person and marriage is different. I do disagree with either be happy or right though. I believe if you're constantly growing and maturing; being right all the time shouldn't be a issue.
True. With innate personality traits like ego n pride will make your last statement a thin line to impossible . I respect your intelligence.
I was thinking the same thing when it comes to being right or happy. Is my (or any person’s) ego that fragile to where I can’t be proven wrong by my/your spouse? If they genuinely are correct and share their thoughts in a respective manner, your collective happiness should not be at a detriment because “you’re wrong”
@Henry Brown Re @6:16 onwards, I agree with your comment except for the words "right all the time."😂 NO-ONE is RIGHT ALL the time.😁
My take on this is: I think that when MEN PASSIVELY YIELD to a woman with "Yes Dear" or " You're RIGHT Dear" just to be happy, that leads to RESENTMENT.... Couples HAVE to learn HOW to communicate effectively & resolve issues.
🔹There's a NUANCE to this. A GOOD way to do this is being CONFIDENT in being RIGHT, to the point where you LET GO of asserting it over your spouse.
🔹You can HUMBLY GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO BE RIGHT and let the other person find out the truth in their own time. Then when they do, you still HUMBLY REFRAIN from saying "I TOLD YOU SO."
🔹This requires PRAYER though. Prayer to have the RIGHT HEART & FOCUS on YOUR OWN GROWTH, while not being fearful that your spouse is not doing THEIR part. That takes TRUST IN GOD'S TRANSFORMING POWER BEING RELEASED into your spouse's HEART.
🔹 *Usually someone who has to LORD it over someone when they're right OR someone who's AFRAID to ADMIT THEY'RE WRONG have TRUST & CONTROL ISSUES.*
Love means you just want what's BEST for the *TEAM.*
🔹If every married couple chose to *MEMORIZE 1Corinthians13 & used it as a REFERENCE GUIDE, [both PRE & DURING MARRIAGE,] there would be far less divorce because INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER CHANGE would eliminate many marital issues.* God Bless!💙
@@estherstrategicadvisor749 well said
Yes i honestly stay away of this behaviour as much as possible
I have always loved them separately and together. Grant and Tamia❤❤❤❤❤❤
Marriage is a living and breathing thing
As a man in the marriage..you can either be right or be Happy. Word!!!
It's not about coffee. Its about looking out for the other person. To be selfless is Selfcare, when the two of you have become One, Amen!!!👏👏👏Thank me later for explaining that to a tea, Glory!! #DISCERNMENT
People always say the right one comes along when you're not looking. So for all my single people including myself, be patient and focus on you. The one for you will come 😊.
They definitely do come along then. Couple of inconvenient, but SUUUCH helpful tips-
Be open to meeting someone online, or via Meetup, social club etc
Be open to a different race or culture
Be open to going to different neighborhoods for your daily duties. Grocery store, coffee shop, etc. Especially in the nicer neighborhoods. Go during the day when other single, yet responsible people shop! 😘😘
@@VivianWynter thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it
That’s the nugget! You HAVE to have other married people to turn to to counsel couples/married folks last❣️OMG! I’m neither of the two, sadly, but I no longer will take ANY advice from anyone single lbvs ❤️
Listening and Watching these snippets of gems are priceless. My wife and I just got married, during this pandemic and it only reassured our decision to make this journey of commitment, worth every step. I cried so many tears I didn't know I was a capable of, and It was a sign that this was the right choice from God. all that to say I love hearing the wealth of information they are speaking through just simple dialogue. as a young black man I didn't have many examples to show what marriage would look like, so its more reason to commit to every day to my wife. Shoutout to Black Love and the information they relay with these videos. Much Love, Peace!
Why has Grant Hill not AGED ONE DAY???
That's what I'm trying to find out. Point us to the fountain ⛲ of youth.
Marriage choice: to be Right or righteous
Women learn to be quiet too. Learning our husbands as a result of listening. Being right is not so important as being understood and getting an understanding that its about the love and companionship that the two even cares. Treat each other how we each would treat ourselves. Our spouse is an extension of our heart and body. So self-esteem is extremely important. If someone doesn't like themselves, or sees themselves as useless, disposable or red solo cup frame of mind, the other spouse will have work to do to build that one up, it maybe that spouse can not handle the sad unloving treatment I. The process of helping the other build self worth and be secure in their own skin. When it works that couplenis stronger for it. When the one with low self-esteem refuses to overcome their character flaws and the other begins to have low self-esteem in reaction or response, that is gonna take outside help, counseling and support community. Such supports every couple thrives in. Look, marriages take a village too because good and lasting strong marriages have ups and downs. Marriage is not a passive relationship. It takes work.
It’s funny how black people talk about how young they were (in their 20s) when getting married like it’s not a natural thing to do. Whites and other cultures get married in their early 20s and there’s not a “taboo” conversation around this fact. I love them together though.
Successful people actually do typically postpone marriage for their career, particularly across racial groups. That's what they're alluding to.
Exactly...and I bet the guys who tried to talk him out of it were all Black men and all players...They probably now have children by multiple women and are nearly broke paying child support
@Sharene D Those same "fears" don't apply when they're dating non-black women...They want to "snatch them up before another ngga can"...They place higher value on them and don't typically postpone marriage with them
You are absolutely right and I always wondered about this. I honestly think it's cultural. I feel like in the black community we put so much focus on allowing a man to "sow his oats" before marriage. I don't think marriage is viewed as a "goal"..."something to be proud of" as much in the black community compared to other cultures. We don't take as much pride in building legacies and creating foundations like other cultures. Even in many African countries they still take pride in legacies and building foundations for their families...so I don't know. I don't know if the breakdown started because of US slavery or not.
most black men cant provide for women when they are in their early 20s.........
Normal. Beautiful couple. Wholesome. Not foul and perverted. Just a clean, great example of love and commitment.
Yes😊
@@jenniferharden2258 ☺☺
GOD is love. GOD created marriage, so ONLY GOD knows who "go together" and how to make their love grow. When GOD puts a MAN + a WOMAN together in marriage, He prepares them for each other first. If you want a loving marriage, then start your marriage preparation season by praying and reading the BIBLE (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth). See Genesis 1-3; Isaiah 54; Song of Songs/Solomon; Ephesians 5; Revelation 19, 21. Peace!
Thanks for your thought provoking response.
Thank you 💙
Amen 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I'm just in awe
This is a wonderful show..Lot of things to learn here
Aww❤ her laughter is everything
I don’t know if it’s just me but I’m 21 about to be 22 and I don’t want to date around I know what I want. I can’t with my generation and this situationship and hooking up . I wanted to be married 💯and I don’t feel like I’ll be missing out on anything just by getting married young .
I commend you for being young but knowing both what you want and don't want. I also commend you for not allowing the craziness of today's distorted reality interfere with what you want!
I would have Tamia & Grant's their feedback on those last two statements lol
Right?! Me too.
Def disagree with the be right or be happy idea. It’s called communication. They talk about what they’ve learned from these couples and that’s the number 1 lesson I’ve taken from every couple
I definitely feel that too. Having those strong communication skills are important in any relationship but especially marriage.
I like being right but I also like being married......awwwe 🖤
Coming from good family with strong background it was the best time.
Tamia and Grant!!🤗 Love them!!❤️
Muscle memory!!!! 👏🏾
Good stuff, I was smiling the whole time. 😃
I love her laugh, it makes me smile 😃
I love black love
I love Black Love...I have gotten a lot of advice. I am in a relationship known him since 2003. 1 child. Relationship since September 2019...marriage is not something I see because I feel he is a little selfish and other signs I see not bad stuff🤔. But all in all he is an amazing guy. Maybe not for me ? 🤷🏽♀️
Hmmmm
That watch that Grant has on is FRESH!
I've watch Grant Hill for so long he was supposed to be my husband in head until I learned of him & Tamia dating then married. Though my heart was shredded in pieces I absolutely was obsessed with her music that I was willing to tolerate her marrying my boo. Seriously though I love these 2 ppl together. Very lowkey low profile especially since both had high profile careers during that time it really beautiful to still see them going strong. Never recall seeing them in a negative or risky situation publicly. Just really good ppl protecting their privacy
GIVE THIS SOME THOUGHT, I KNOW THEY ARE OLDER..BUT LARRY HOLMES AND HIS WIFE DIANE ARE ONE OF (OUR) GREATEST COUPLES.
I absolutely love this series!!!
My husband likes to be right for sure!
They need a podcast! ❤
Love this
Man I swear Grant looks the same from Living Single wow
That wasn't Grant Hill!!
Nakia Jones 😭😭😭 I was like huh
@@nakiajones5385 he was a guest star on living single
@@jadataylor5880 truth!! I just googled it and he actually does look the same!!!😁😁😁
Some of the phrases associated with marriage don’t seem appealing to men or they need to be updated in my opinion. I hate the phrase happy wife happy life it sounds as though the mans happiness is not important in the marriage. I also cringed when he said as a man you can be right or you can be happy.
Yes... that made me cringe as well. And everyone seemed to agree with it.
Being right vs happy is actually a huge lesson to learn in life. We make those decisions constantly, married or not.
Love them!
BEAUTIFUL COUPLE 🙏💜❤
ok the couple on the right kind weird grant and tamia was like OK awkward
Grant Hill and Tamia is damn aging backwards. Omg!!!!
The sickest thing THAT EVERYONE FINDS IT PROPER TO AGREE TOO! As a man in a marriage, I EITHER want to be right! Or be happy! THAT'S so much about EGO! Truly (EDGING GOD OUT) for everyone to agree with that reason is bothersome FOR MY SOUL.
I love this show!
Point blank if you are selfish narcissistic type of person don't ever waste someone's time getting married. It's also more to it than that expensive ceremony ladies that you spent months planning to make all your girlfriends jealous as well...
❤️❤️❤️ love these videos
I love this!
Sweet
I love them
How comes more black ppl not commenting
this is foriegn shit...we cant relate..lolo..its a learning moment...lots of us dont have those kinds of conversations and examples
@Emcstea 😂😂😂
It's actually kind of sad that we as black people are so desensitized from loving caring relationships between black men and women.
Emcstea Yep!
Because the TH-cam algorithm is finally showing us these videos. I don't understand what everyone else is talking about...
Yessssss
😍😍😍😘
I'm confused. The couple is on Black Love...taking jabs at each other.
Thank you for noticing this.
Yeah......
💕💕💕
The hosts seem tense and bicker a lot...I was cringing... Great series though
where the intelligent men at in my city?
Marriage is God plan and if one follow God. Then you will not have a problem. And marriage isn't work we have to hold God at the head. I have yet to meet a woman of God.
Tamia & Grant are a beautiful couple! 💞 Although, their body language is off putting.
Nobody care what you're doing
I just want her to take care of me, he sounds like a man child.
Love this