"IS THIS THING ON?" by Michael R. Clem © 2024

Performed at The Local 18Mar24, Charlottesville VA
video by Jehu Martin (JEHU-TV)
Lyrics
Weather man Dan, a celebrity
the most beloved anchor on local TV
During a commercial, he said to Camera Three
“Florida looks pretty phallic to me”
It then occurred to Dan, much to his dread
He realized his boo-boo and this is what he said
Is This Thing On?
Did the viewers hear?
I guess I’ll type my resume
and find a new career
Town Mayor Green of Tennessee
Spoke to kids at Sanders Elementary
She stood there at the podium and whispered quietly
“These are the stupidest children that I ever did see”
It dawned on Mayor Green, much to her dread
She realized her screw up, and this is what she said
Is This Thing On?
did the students hear?
So much for re-election
I think I need a beer
So here’s to the loquacious
with foot in mouth disease
Saying every thought out loud and doing as they please
but try avoiding trouble
just take a couple tips
no one hears your words if they don’t pass your lips
A man called his wife, their dinner plan discussed
He said I hope her ugly besty won’t be joining us
He then said, “please tell me that you are alone”
She said “no, and let me take you off the speaker phone”
(He said) Is that thing on?
Why she can come OF COURSE
she said she’ll have over
right after their divorce
Oh dear, that thing was on.

[@GeorgeRPope]

""no one hears your words if they don’t pass your lips" :)