What the hell this girl got it on the money! My father was a weakling, and I definitely hit the textbook for the monster aspect. Thank you so much for this.
Elise, you've gone and done it again. You've shown the very fabric of what people (men) need to hear all while showing how you care at the same time. I got the pleasure of the MONSTER (F) and CHILD (M) mixture. What I loved the most about your video is what you said at the end, how you looked at the camera to connect to people and said that "You may not feel witnessed by me, by just watching the video and need someone to help you through it." (paraphrasing of course) and that is so absolutely very true and people (not just men) don't realize just how much they needed that counselor/therapist (or a "true friend who is like a therapist in every right (perhaps...)") until they have gone to enough sessions and been open and vulnerable enough to notice how much it can and is helping. My family grew up teaching us that if someone goes to therapy, then they are immediately crazy. LOL - I have learned soooooooo much about how that is SOOOOOOO far from the truth and quite the opposite it is just mind blowing. The qualities/traits you spoke of, that a male child likely becomes, exhibits or grows into stemming from 1 of your 4 Archetypes, I found was pretty amazing and extremely insightful. Yes, it very much spoke to me and not just about myself, but of other men that I know of as well. What occurs to me as I write this is that it's too bad that boys of "impressionable ages" can't segway over to a different train track before "the mold is cast" to alleviate going the routes that will likely occur after being raised by 1 of your 4 Archetypes. I enjoyed every minute of this video, because of how your passion spills through the screen. I follow you on facebook and instagram (supermanvan3000) as well and I look forward to every post and video you share because I know that it will be worthwhile, meaningful and stemming from a place of love and care that is hard to come by in this world. I laugh with you and sometimes "at you" (lol) because you so genuine and are so genuinely living your dream while helping thousands of people. :) The help you have provided me (you will never know) over the past 13 months has been immeasurable to keep me on track from where I left off. I have another topic to ask about that I don't see covered "anywhere" really. Chronic underlying medical conditions that are the spawn of anxiety, depression, brain fog and the spiraling down keeps on going as long as the underlying medical condition is not resolved, because the person doesn't know it's there or doesn't know how to resolve it despite their best efforts with doctors. 3 wonderful examples of this are people with Food Allergies/Intolerances, people with histamine-intolerance or people with tyramine-intolerance. These medical conditions have the capability to WRECK an otherwise healthy and truly happy person's life and sometimes are not realized until 30's or 40's because of how segmented the medical society is from each other in different fields of practice, thus people constantly get the wrong diagnosis and try all these medications (even antidepressants) they would not otherwise need if they got their digestive medical issues resolved. Speaking for myself, I'm on the verge of trying to prove that I have histamine-intolerance and the migraines it has caused my entire life have eventually finally peaked to "Severe status" and looking back now I can see where it has negatively affected my entire life. I'm about to go see a neurologist and/or test myself with diet and enzymes to get better, but overall I am curious why mental-health professionals do not crossover much into how true medical problems are causing such stress, anxiety and depression. These migraines truly can "WRECK LIVES" and for me render me unable to process hearing correctly, disable my ability to listen to others, unable to say words correctly, cause scary vision problems (not to mention disable me from being able to read), wreck my sense of smell, dampens my sense of taste etc... I could go on and on, but it also ends up robbing people of dopamine/serotonin (at least the histamine-intolerance does eventually) and as you well know I'm sure that leads to a very bad place. I guess what I'm getting at is, people go to therapy thinking there are mental issues in their life that are caused by their behavior or choices or learned personality traits whereas it is also very possible that one of these unchecked underlying sneaky medical conditions (food allergies or other digestive based intolerances) could be the root of their issues. I'm certainly not saying that food-born issues are the only basis to everyone's mental health issues, but I am saying it's very possible and I don't see it addressed much by mental health professionals. I dunno how you'd incorporate that into what you do (that you do so very well), but I thought it worth "FOOD" (ha ha) for thought. :)
I saved this video. Now I understood my problems. You give me the answer on my problem. My father was mix of monster and child. This is why I have ths infinity shame to myself and wish to control that came from internal fear of losses. I do not know why not so many reviews and likes. This is really core personality video that helps to broke bad legacy. Appreciate Elise. I respect Your knowledge and experience.
Started to tear up a little bit watching this. Didn't realize I had a monster dad as well as a ghost dad, who my mom characterized as a child father... I'm afraid of becoming a weakling father... Thank you, I needed to hear this. Looking forward to the mother wound video 🥲
Thanks Elise 🙏🤩 great video, extremely thought provoking. I liked how you also brought up the cycle 🔃 gives the dads something to think about also. And great how you finished off with truth about men looking into a mentor. Most guys like myself are still grasping the concept for a need for a mentor at all. Probably watching videos of Jordan B P . But you kinda make it make sense especially with people dealing with “ghost” father-wounds. ❤🙏
Yep, when we don't know the value of what we don't have we also suffer. Kindof like if you're used to eating only one meal because you grew up poor, you don't see the value in eating three meals organic. It's the ability to push our normal that makes us grow.
Thank you so much for your video. I just stumbled on it and it was a real eyeopener for me. It is so helpful what you explained and helped me to so my core issues resulting from a „ghost father“. Thank you for your encouragement! You are doing an excellent and amazing work! Greetings from Germany Johannes
Great video Elise. Like @higuysrealtalkwithtracy4543 my dad was mostly Monster and a bit Ghost. Maybe it's important to recognize that these traits are not mutually exclusive. I think you nailed the outcome of the child from a Monster though. I swore I would never physically abuse my children, the way I was. He also fit that perfectionist subtype. If he gave a complement, which was rare, it was always followed by "you can do better" or "I expected better"... or something to that effect. I lived an entire childhood and part of my adult life trying to earn his approval and respect, never getting it. Then the funny thing that happens when we are ignorant to these things is that I attracted and married a woman who treated me the exact same way. It took decades of mental abuse, never measuring up and the goals ever increasing... running on that perpetual treadmill, hopping I could prove myself to her and never getting the respect I hoped to earn. My hope would be that more men come to understand that this is common and find their way out of that cycle, quicker than I did.
My father was a combination of these. I see some of the issues with me. I've been on and off in therapy. It started when I went through my 1st divorce. I've been working on some inner child and survivors sex abuse. I'm in my 3rd marriage but I think a lot of other things that have happened to me that shaped the way I view things. Like being sexually molested from 3yrs old until high school from family friends and other teens that were a few yrs older than me. I definitely suffer from low self esteem. Im physically large, 6ft 230 lbs and I exercise to stay healthy so I don't come off looking like I have some mental health issues. But my wife, who is a BCBA sees the results of the abuse I've faced.
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. SA shapes the way we are forever and it takes time but healing is possible. Proud of you for the work you've done.
This video hit bullseye with me. My pops was the monster father, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I became the weakling. My biggest Hangul is def shame. This vid was tough to watch. Thanks for putting this video together
Spot on with the monster. The only thing that i see different is when it comes to the hung ups that each one struggles with. I find i deal all 4 and i. Guessing a lot has to deal with mother wound aswell.
I’ve got a Monster-Ghost-Child (likely BPD or NPD). I’ve never had any male role models. I legitimately don’t really look up to anyone I know - even at work. I’m a father myself and I’ve done really great breaking generational trauma in that relationship. But I haven’t healed my own father wound yet which has attracted only toxic anxious-avoidant relationships. If I don’t know any older male role models, what do you suggests?
If you don't know any personally I would look online. This isn't always the most accurate or desirable, but it can help build momentum for us to be surrounded by people in real life who are more like that. For example, I was really drawn to Grant Cardone. Being in his conferences and energy helped me meet men in real life who had the same ideas, ambitions, goals, and values as him.
Thank you again for what you do! I would like to hear a deep dive on the monster father wound! I am a weakling dad and do not know how to get myself out of it! And would love a deep dive on mother wounds as well!
I know you are a men’s coach but I wonder if you could categorize the father wound in a woman. I’d like to try and understand the women I date better. Maybe I could use it to cold read them, relate, or build an emotional connection.
Hey Tom! I will make a video on archetypes for mothers and how they impact men, and then I will make a video on how these two impact the relationships men get in and the women they attract. Thank you for suggesting!
This would be fantastic info to receive. I hope you will make these videos. Thanks for this incredibly articulate and insightful video on the Father Wound. Wow. @@EliseMicheals
This was really interesting. I definitely had a monster - I can see how i have been a weakling dad in a lot of ways. I've corrected a lot of that. I am interested on how these traits will typically affect my daughters? Is it similar for girls or different? Whats the impact of me being a weakling dad on my female children?
Ghost father, very little conversation. My children are grown, so I see my mistakes. Combo of ghost and later weak because abuse by X. I was made invisible and voiceless, literally. I have connected in church,, moving on for a better life.
This framework is biased. That part where the child takes it out on women because his dad is weak. That's completely taking all the accountability of the woman away. If the father made himself vulnerable and the mother took advantage of that. That's a mother wound not a father wound. It doesn't make him weak it makes her a monster.
This framework centers everything around a father wound specifically which means taking accountability for the males role. Of course there will always be other factors, but we don't talk about them in this video because it's not about the mother wound here.
Thank you very much Elise.
I look forward to look to a similar video regarding the mother wound.
What the hell this girl got it on the money! My father was a weakling, and I definitely hit the textbook for the monster aspect. Thank you so much for this.
Elise, you've gone and done it again. You've shown the very fabric of what people (men) need to hear all while showing how you care at the same time. I got the pleasure of the MONSTER (F) and CHILD (M) mixture. What I loved the most about your video is what you said at the end, how you looked at the camera to connect to people and said that "You may not feel witnessed by me, by just watching the video and need someone to help you through it." (paraphrasing of course) and that is so absolutely very true and people (not just men) don't realize just how much they needed that counselor/therapist (or a "true friend who is like a therapist in every right (perhaps...)") until they have gone to enough sessions and been open and vulnerable enough to notice how much it can and is helping. My family grew up teaching us that if someone goes to therapy, then they are immediately crazy. LOL - I have learned soooooooo much about how that is SOOOOOOO far from the truth and quite the opposite it is just mind blowing.
The qualities/traits you spoke of, that a male child likely becomes, exhibits or grows into stemming from 1 of your 4 Archetypes, I found was pretty amazing and extremely insightful. Yes, it very much spoke to me and not just about myself, but of other men that I know of as well. What occurs to me as I write this is that it's too bad that boys of "impressionable ages" can't segway over to a different train track before "the mold is cast" to alleviate going the routes that will likely occur after being raised by 1 of your 4 Archetypes.
I enjoyed every minute of this video, because of how your passion spills through the screen. I follow you on facebook and instagram (supermanvan3000) as well and I look forward to every post and video you share because I know that it will be worthwhile, meaningful and stemming from a place of love and care that is hard to come by in this world. I laugh with you and sometimes "at you" (lol) because you so genuine and are so genuinely living your dream while helping thousands of people. :) The help you have provided me (you will never know) over the past 13 months has been immeasurable to keep me on track from where I left off.
I have another topic to ask about that I don't see covered "anywhere" really. Chronic underlying medical conditions that are the spawn of anxiety, depression, brain fog and the spiraling down keeps on going as long as the underlying medical condition is not resolved, because the person doesn't know it's there or doesn't know how to resolve it despite their best efforts with doctors. 3 wonderful examples of this are people with Food Allergies/Intolerances, people with histamine-intolerance or people with tyramine-intolerance. These medical conditions have the capability to WRECK an otherwise healthy and truly happy person's life and sometimes are not realized until 30's or 40's because of how segmented the medical society is from each other in different fields of practice, thus people constantly get the wrong diagnosis and try all these medications (even antidepressants) they would not otherwise need if they got their digestive medical issues resolved.
Speaking for myself, I'm on the verge of trying to prove that I have histamine-intolerance and the migraines it has caused my entire life have eventually finally peaked to "Severe status" and looking back now I can see where it has negatively affected my entire life. I'm about to go see a neurologist and/or test myself with diet and enzymes to get better, but overall I am curious why mental-health professionals do not crossover much into how true medical problems are causing such stress, anxiety and depression. These migraines truly can "WRECK LIVES" and for me render me unable to process hearing correctly, disable my ability to listen to others, unable to say words correctly, cause scary vision problems (not to mention disable me from being able to read), wreck my sense of smell, dampens my sense of taste etc... I could go on and on, but it also ends up robbing people of dopamine/serotonin (at least the histamine-intolerance does eventually) and as you well know I'm sure that leads to a very bad place.
I guess what I'm getting at is, people go to therapy thinking there are mental issues in their life that are caused by their behavior or choices or learned personality traits whereas it is also very possible that one of these unchecked underlying sneaky medical conditions (food allergies or other digestive based intolerances) could be the root of their issues. I'm certainly not saying that food-born issues are the only basis to everyone's mental health issues, but I am saying it's very possible and I don't see it addressed much by mental health professionals. I dunno how you'd incorporate that into what you do (that you do so very well), but I thought it worth "FOOD" (ha ha) for thought. :)
Ghost father is my case
It seems to be the same for me, although I thought he was more of a monster.
Do you have a video on mother wound? You are a great explainer
Insanely accurate. I have a feeling I'm about to binge your videos
I saved this video. Now I understood my problems. You give me the answer on my problem. My father was mix of monster and child. This is why I have ths infinity shame to myself and wish to control that came from internal fear of losses. I do not know why not so many reviews and likes. This is really core personality video that helps to broke bad legacy. Appreciate Elise. I respect Your knowledge and experience.
I'm glad the video benefitted you Andrii. All the views will come with time! I appreciate you :)
Started to tear up a little bit watching this. Didn't realize I had a monster dad as well as a ghost dad, who my mom characterized as a child father... I'm afraid of becoming a weakling father... Thank you, I needed to hear this.
Looking forward to the mother wound video 🥲
This is a really good framework. Thanks for putting it out there!
Glad you enjoyed!
Thanks Elise 🙏🤩 great video, extremely thought provoking. I liked how you also brought up the cycle 🔃 gives the dads something to think about also.
And great how you finished off with truth about men looking into a mentor. Most guys like myself are still grasping the concept for a need for a mentor at all. Probably watching videos of Jordan B P . But you kinda make it make sense especially with people dealing with “ghost” father-wounds. ❤🙏
Yep, when we don't know the value of what we don't have we also suffer. Kindof like if you're used to eating only one meal because you grew up poor, you don't see the value in eating three meals organic. It's the ability to push our normal that makes us grow.
Great Father Wound video. Looking forward to the Mother Wound video!
Amazing video. Thank you.
This is very interesting.
Thank you so much for your video. I just stumbled on it and it was a real eyeopener for me. It is so helpful what you explained and helped me to so my core issues resulting from a „ghost father“.
Thank you for your encouragement! You are doing an excellent and amazing work!
Greetings from Germany
Johannes
I'm so happy that this video found you and helped you gain clarity and insight!
Great video Elise. Like @higuysrealtalkwithtracy4543 my dad was mostly Monster and a bit Ghost. Maybe it's important to recognize that these traits are not mutually exclusive. I think you nailed the outcome of the child from a Monster though. I swore I would never physically abuse my children, the way I was. He also fit that perfectionist subtype. If he gave a complement, which was rare, it was always followed by "you can do better" or "I expected better"... or something to that effect. I lived an entire childhood and part of my adult life trying to earn his approval and respect, never getting it. Then the funny thing that happens when we are ignorant to these things is that I attracted and married a woman who treated me the exact same way. It took decades of mental abuse, never measuring up and the goals ever increasing... running on that perpetual treadmill, hopping I could prove myself to her and never getting the respect I hoped to earn. My hope would be that more men come to understand that this is common and find their way out of that cycle, quicker than I did.
I had the monster Ghost
How are you working on healing from that?
Somehow all of them
I'm sorry to hear that. How are you healing?
My father was a combination of these. I see some of the issues with me. I've been on and off in therapy. It started when I went through my 1st divorce. I've been working on some inner child and survivors sex abuse.
I'm in my 3rd marriage but I think a lot of other things that have happened to me that shaped the way I view things. Like being sexually molested from 3yrs old until high school from family friends and other teens that were a few yrs older than me. I definitely suffer from low self esteem. Im physically large, 6ft 230 lbs and I exercise to stay healthy so I don't come off looking like I have some mental health issues. But my wife, who is a BCBA sees the results of the abuse I've faced.
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. SA shapes the way we are forever and it takes time but healing is possible. Proud of you for the work you've done.
Elise 🙏🏻
This video hit bullseye with me. My pops was the monster father, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I became the weakling. My biggest Hangul is def shame. This vid was tough to watch. Thanks for putting this video together
I'd love to see some deep dives in all 4 of the archetypes please 🙏 thankyou
Spot on with the monster.
The only thing that i see different is when it comes to the hung ups that each one struggles with. I find i deal all 4 and i. Guessing a lot has to deal with mother wound aswell.
I’ve got a Monster-Ghost-Child (likely BPD or NPD). I’ve never had any male role models. I legitimately don’t really look up to anyone I know - even at work. I’m a father myself and I’ve done really great breaking generational trauma in that relationship. But I haven’t healed my own father wound yet which has attracted only toxic anxious-avoidant relationships.
If I don’t know any older male role models, what do you suggests?
If you don't know any personally I would look online. This isn't always the most accurate or desirable, but it can help build momentum for us to be surrounded by people in real life who are more like that. For example, I was really drawn to Grant Cardone. Being in his conferences and energy helped me meet men in real life who had the same ideas, ambitions, goals, and values as him.
Thank you again for what you do! I would like to hear a deep dive on the monster father wound! I am a weakling dad and do not know how to get myself out of it! And would love a deep dive on mother wounds as well!
If you feel you're a "weakling" dad, I would suggest reading No More Mr. Nice Guy and studying how to set boundaries.
@@EliseMicheals thank you. Do you know the author?
I know you are a men’s coach but I wonder if you could categorize the father wound in a woman. I’d like to try and understand the women I date better. Maybe I could use it to cold read them, relate, or build an emotional connection.
Hey Tom! I will make a video on archetypes for mothers and how they impact men, and then I will make a video on how these two impact the relationships men get in and the women they attract. Thank you for suggesting!
This would be fantastic info to receive. I hope you will make these videos. Thanks for this incredibly articulate and insightful video on the Father Wound. Wow. @@EliseMicheals
This was really interesting. I definitely had a monster - I can see how i have been a weakling dad in a lot of ways. I've corrected a lot of that. I am interested on how these traits will typically affect my daughters? Is it similar for girls or different? Whats the impact of me being a weakling dad on my female children?
Ghost father, very little conversation. My children are grown, so I see my mistakes. Combo of ghost and later weak because abuse by X. I was made invisible and voiceless, literally. I have connected in church,, moving on for a better life.
nice 3 out of 4 😂😂
Excellent video. Thank you for all of your content on YT and IG, I hope this will reach an even larger audience.
What if you feel like you have a piece of all of them
💖💖💖
This framework is biased. That part where the child takes it out on women because his dad is weak. That's completely taking all the accountability of the woman away. If the father made himself vulnerable and the mother took advantage of that. That's a mother wound not a father wound. It doesn't make him weak it makes her a monster.
This framework centers everything around a father wound specifically which means taking accountability for the males role. Of course there will always be other factors, but we don't talk about them in this video because it's not about the mother wound here.