it doesn't matter when the cheating happened. To the person who was cheated on, it happens when they find out. To OP, the betrayal happened not all those years ago, but when he found out that his wife had slept around with other people.
YES, this. This. To him it happened the minute he learned about it, not 20+ years ago, so it's absurd when people (OP's friends and family) tell him that it doesn't matter and that he shouldn't throw 20 years away over a "mistake". As if HE is the one who is throwing anything away. Had she told him about it right after it happened it would still have hurt but he would at least have been given the opportunity make his own decision and be in charge of his own life and future, but she didn't because she couldn't care less about his right to agency.
It's f*cking wild that there are people (luckily a small minority) who think it's ok to cheat when in a long distance relationship. Like, what? Is there some sort of geographical distance cutoff where suddenly cheating is ok? Is it at 100 miles? It's cheating up to 99 miles but not cheating if it ticks over to 100 miles? Or is it dependent on how often you are able to see each other? Like if you only get to see each other once a month cheating is ok, but if you get to see each other once every three weeks cheating is forbidden? Absolutely bizarre mentality. If you want to sleep around while in a relationship then you end the relationship. You're obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship anyway.
So let me get this straight: -She defended her actions by saying "everyone cheats long distance" -Despite this, she made it clear prior to going away to college that he shouldn't sleep around -Their 'long distance' was a 3 hour drive with multiple visits a month. -AFTER she HAD been sleeping around, she got upset when he wanted to go to his prom with a platonic friend, stopping him from doing so. -She also went on a date with some WELL after they were married. -Trying to 'spice up' the bedroom got her fantasizing about her prior sexual experiences in college (not her words, but accurate based on her descriptions) Classic cheater hypocrisy. The best thing the sexual revolution did was make it clear just how sex motivated a lot of women really are.
Wife was already out of the relationship and took op for granted all these years. Luckily, his kids didn't take any BS from her mom and all of them knows what a AH she is.
Yup. Reading between the lines, and given how little she obviously cares about fidelity and given how she even tried to gaslight OP when called out on it, I am 100% sure she has cheated on OP even after her "crazy college years", probably several times. A person who is willing to tell herself that sleeping with at least ten different men while in a relationship is ok doesn't suddenly grow super strong morals and a sense of loyalty just because the long distance relationship abruptly ends. Given how fast she started dating her work colleague after the divorce you can almost bet your a** that they were already hooking up.
Mad coping with "it's normal to cheat during a long distance relationship" It's one thing to make the young and dumb excuse it's another to straight rationalize the cheating. This broad is professional liar. She was cheating the whole time probably
If she didnt think it was such a big deal, than ehy hide it for 20 years? Clearly she feels a level of guilt and was willing to take this to the grave. Shes for the strees
Lol, "a handful of folk said its normal to sleep aound during a long distance relationship", thats totally BS! Only a minority thinks that way and imo they are totally nuts. Higher bodycounts brings more baggage and more trauma, therefor most of the guys prefer women with less bobycounts. The audacity to hide it from the man of her love is beyound my imagination.
Honestly for me, it'd go both ways. I wouldn't want to be with a man with a high body count, and if I ever fell for one, would not want a woman with a high body count. I don't think it's good on either side.
IMO if i feel secure in a relationship and would be having few years of long distance, i would be open of discussing sleeping around with consent, with a strict set of rules to follow. i guess the people who said that meant with consent. or maybe they're crappy cheater i don't know
@@heartmint7364 The OP in the story did not give any consent at all, he had no clue. Therefore it was blatant cheating but the OPs ex-wife didn't seem to care. She clearly didn't at the end of the relationship, sadly. Glad he got out of there.
bro she's 43 she's got nothing to offer but a ran through fish hole ,she's lost her partner and kids ,the respect of her family ,friends ,i hope her urges were worth the sacrifice
She seemed to move on almost instantly after the divorce, didn't even wait before getting into a relationship with the work colleague she had already gone on a date with. But once the novelty wears off and she realizes that this work colleague was just a cheap thrill and once she learns that men only want her for cheap one night stands, and only low-value men to boot, reality will start to set in. That's when she will start reaching out to OP and try to love bomb him and offer herself up to manipulate him into getting back together.
That 17 year is pretty mature to be honest I would have said something way worse but I agree with him you either give me a break and let me breath in this reality and look at this situation from open eyes then when im ready I'll go and talk... Trust me forcing your kid into living with you when your relationship is on the rocks is bad and trying to force that relationship to get better quickly will ruin it even more...
Honestly, you can expect cheating with long distance, but if its no longer long distance, atleast be upfront about it. Or breakup Also her preventing op from going to prom etc is wild hahaha
The cheating in college was bad enough, but 20 years of a good marriage would have made me think twice about divorce, but the recent date and flirting with with the co-workers would have ended it for me.
It should’ve been update 1 and update 1.1 but I wrote 1.1 and 1.2, but anyway, it’s in proper order in case anyone was wondering.
it doesn't matter when the cheating happened. To the person who was cheated on, it happens when they find out. To OP, the betrayal happened not all those years ago, but when he found out that his wife had slept around with other people.
YES, this. This. To him it happened the minute he learned about it, not 20+ years ago, so it's absurd when people (OP's friends and family) tell him that it doesn't matter and that he shouldn't throw 20 years away over a "mistake". As if HE is the one who is throwing anything away. Had she told him about it right after it happened it would still have hurt but he would at least have been given the opportunity make his own decision and be in charge of his own life and future, but she didn't because she couldn't care less about his right to agency.
It's f*cking wild that there are people (luckily a small minority) who think it's ok to cheat when in a long distance relationship. Like, what? Is there some sort of geographical distance cutoff where suddenly cheating is ok? Is it at 100 miles? It's cheating up to 99 miles but not cheating if it ticks over to 100 miles? Or is it dependent on how often you are able to see each other? Like if you only get to see each other once a month cheating is ok, but if you get to see each other once every three weeks cheating is forbidden? Absolutely bizarre mentality. If you want to sleep around while in a relationship then you end the relationship. You're obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship anyway.
So let me get this straight:
-She defended her actions by saying "everyone cheats long distance"
-Despite this, she made it clear prior to going away to college that he shouldn't sleep around
-Their 'long distance' was a 3 hour drive with multiple visits a month.
-AFTER she HAD been sleeping around, she got upset when he wanted to go to his prom with a platonic friend, stopping him from doing so.
-She also went on a date with some WELL after they were married.
-Trying to 'spice up' the bedroom got her fantasizing about her prior sexual experiences in college (not her words, but accurate based on her descriptions)
Classic cheater hypocrisy.
The best thing the sexual revolution did was make it clear just how sex motivated a lot of women really are.
Wife was already out of the relationship and took op for granted all these years.
Luckily, his kids didn't take any BS from her mom and all of them knows what a AH she is.
Yup. Reading between the lines, and given how little she obviously cares about fidelity and given how she even tried to gaslight OP when called out on it, I am 100% sure she has cheated on OP even after her "crazy college years", probably several times. A person who is willing to tell herself that sleeping with at least ten different men while in a relationship is ok doesn't suddenly grow super strong morals and a sense of loyalty just because the long distance relationship abruptly ends. Given how fast she started dating her work colleague after the divorce you can almost bet your a** that they were already hooking up.
Mad coping with "it's normal to cheat during a long distance relationship"
It's one thing to make the young and dumb excuse it's another to straight rationalize the cheating.
This broad is professional liar. She was cheating the whole time probably
Anyone who thinks it's okay to cheat because it's long distance needs therapy and where on earth is this man's anger and rage
If she didnt think it was such a big deal, than ehy hide it for 20 years? Clearly she feels a level of guilt and was willing to take this to the grave.
Shes for the strees
Lol, "a handful of folk said its normal to sleep aound during a long distance relationship", thats totally BS! Only a minority thinks that way and imo they are totally nuts. Higher bodycounts brings more baggage and more trauma, therefor most of the guys prefer women with less bobycounts. The audacity to hide it from the man of her love is beyound my imagination.
Honestly for me, it'd go both ways. I wouldn't want to be with a man with a high body count, and if I ever fell for one, would not want a woman with a high body count. I don't think it's good on either side.
@@Bluewolf09 agreed
IMO if i feel secure in a relationship and would be having few years of long distance, i would be open of discussing sleeping around with consent, with a strict set of rules to follow. i guess the people who said that meant with consent. or maybe they're crappy cheater i don't know
@@heartmint7364 The OP in the story did not give any consent at all, he had no clue. Therefore it was blatant cheating but the OPs ex-wife didn't seem to care. She clearly didn't at the end of the relationship, sadly. Glad he got out of there.
@@Bluewolf09 never said otherwise, only stating my opinion on the ldr
Never marry the college bike
i think he wouldnt have if he had known
You mean bop
She “didn’t think they were romantic relationships so it didn’t count”. 😂😂
bro she's 43 she's got nothing to offer but a ran through fish hole ,she's lost her partner and kids ,the respect of her family ,friends ,i hope her urges were worth the sacrifice
She seemed to move on almost instantly after the divorce, didn't even wait before getting into a relationship with the work colleague she had already gone on a date with. But once the novelty wears off and she realizes that this work colleague was just a cheap thrill and once she learns that men only want her for cheap one night stands, and only low-value men to boot, reality will start to set in. That's when she will start reaching out to OP and try to love bomb him and offer herself up to manipulate him into getting back together.
That 17 year is pretty mature to be honest I would have said something way worse but I agree with him you either give me a break and let me breath in this reality and look at this situation from open eyes then when im ready I'll go and talk... Trust me forcing your kid into living with you when your relationship is on the rocks is bad and trying to force that relationship to get better quickly will ruin it even more...
It sucks to lock down the community box.
Honestly, you can expect cheating with long distance, but if its no longer long distance, atleast be upfront about it. Or breakup
Also her preventing op from going to prom etc is wild hahaha
People really think "it was so long ago" and ignore how the lying lasted until it was found out. There was nothing old about the non stop lie
The cheating in college was bad enough, but 20 years of a good marriage would have made me think twice about divorce, but the recent date and flirting with with the co-workers would have ended it for me.
Whats the background music behind?
hi 🥰
First pin pls ❤❤