+Joana Ramos I hope you don't mind me saying this but you will always be worthy in this life as you are unique and one of a kind just like me and everyone else. Each one of us is special and unique in our own way and no matter who puts us down we will always be worthy in this life. No matter how bad our insecurities get we need to remind ourselves that in the scheme of things it's nonsense as everyone has some kind of flaw or imperfection no matter how plastic or perfect or happy they may seem there is always something they are unhappy with under the surface but the key to helping ourselves is to stop putting ourselves down and judging ourselves based on the idea of what is perfect and what anyone else says and just accept that we may have flaws but we use these flaws as just one piece of our overall character and uniqueness and it just makes us all the more special. Anyway keep going and you will make it as you are worth it and never forget that and I hope you make your future whatever you want to be and I wish you all the very best !! :)
Aww well thank you kirstin Waugh that is very nice of you to say and I'm very grateful for your very kind words so thank you but can I just ask why do you love me ? :)
You can overcome loneliness by really experiencing it to the full without fighting it or attempting to resist it in any way. Loneliness is like quicksand, if you struggle against it, you sink deeper and faster, but if you relax, let it completely take you, you find that you can float on it, then it changes to a sense of total freedom and liberation.
im literally crying myself to sleep every night the feeling of loneliness is too much for me and i can never seem to have a meaningfull friendship or get a girlfriend or anything. i've only got acquaintances and my social anxiety keeps me away from having those meaningful relationships with people. What is the point in living if you have nobody to share your life with? I would literally go on facebook and see people having fun and taking photos at the beach with all their friends and being happy and thats all i ever wanted in my life, it tears me up inside when i see that. Girls don't notice me and i feel like a complete and utter loser. This life is to painful and i know i can't live like this much longer. I'm just a nice guy with good intentions for everything and for people that i meet so what have i done to deserve all this pain and loneliness? I'm asking for somebody to reach out to me before i do something really stupid
+Mr. Johnson I know the feeling bro. The girl of my dreams just told me i was just a friend for her last week. And this is not the first time it happens to me. The truth is no one will pay attention to someone who's too nice to people. Sad but true. I'm always too nice with girls I like and here's what I got : friendzone. So start thinking about your own good and do something for you. No one will take care of you if don't start taking care of yourself first. So grab a beer, watch a stupid movie, and try to meet new people and don't give them more than what they give you
+Mr. Johnson Hi Mr Johnson I just want to say that I know how you feel I really do as I have been in the same dark place myself but with all of my honesty you can come back from this and you can make your life so much better. What you need to do is first accept who you are as you are a special and unique individual and you need to accept all your flaws as everyone has flaws and I'm not afraid to say that I have flaws but that is not what makes me who I am it is just a small part of what makes me a unique individual just like your flaws are what make a small part of what makes you a unique individual.When I started to accept myself and realise I'm me and proud of it that is when I started to find happiness and when I started to find happiness then that is when I made friends because I did not need friends or a girlfriend to make me complete they were just a bonus in life and whether my friends or girlfriend would stay in my life or if they go I will always have that inner peace knowing that I'm me and proud of it. Now you need to remember that you are special and unique and that you don't need friends or a girlfriend to be happy. You need to accept yourself as the special person you are and once you are happy within yourself you will make friends because you will not need to rely on someone else to make you happy as you will be happy within yourself and be proud to be you which is what you and everyone should be I wish you all the very best of luck and I hope you find that happiness in the future but never give up because then you will never be happy.
QuentinDannaud I made some progress. But in general what happened to you happened to me.. and again this this past weekend. Yeah it sucks i got so angry i started kicking in cars in the parking lot at the club and security was calling the cops. Almost got arrested. My mate showed me a book which i am reading now and he said he found nothing but success with women. Reading it now so i'll see how i progress through the upcoming months. I plan to go out a lot and put what i learn from the book to use and see how i go.
I'm single with no kids, a good job and I also live alone, most time I feel very lonely & wish that there where people in my life to make these feelings go away but I realize that genuine people are very hard to find these days
I’ve made many “friends” where I live now, but all just turn out the be self-absorbed users. Genuine friends I’ve known since I was young, live far away.
reading some comments makes me a little happy to know that im not the only one feeling lonley, sorry not to say that people should feel that way. but it helps knowing there are others who are feeling the same way as me, i believe life is too beautifull to put to waste for anyone. im single and i do feel lonley even when i ws in a relationship i was trully never happy and allwas felt alone i didnt understand why, whats wrong with me. but after failed relationships i have learned to embrace life even being single and loving myself. we are all precious and no can hurt you unless you allow yourself to be hurt. thank you Noah
Omg yes this is all I do and its depressing plus ending a relationship/situationship. No answers jus left to go back home 10 hrs away and im here lonely wit no appetite or sleep. I been up for 3 days 💔😭
I need someone to cuddle, to fall asleep with. I just need someone to be there for me. its been so long and i feel alone in this bed. i feel im in pain
My thought is that God allowed lonliness in a person to crave a deep connection to him and to spend time in fellowship with people that have the same heart towards God
Christina Cha The only issue with that theory is that plenty of people who surround themselves with others who have "the same heart towards God" still struggle with loneliness.
Christina Bunch that's very good and very true! It's best in every situation to give it to God, because He knows exactly what we want(whether that be a soulmate/partner or something else) and wanta to give us the desires of our heart in due time, we must do our part and like Adam did he worshiped and praised God always until God noticed man cant do it alone and created a provider, so that's when we will find what it is our hearts truly desire, is when we take all our focus off that one thing and give it to God He knows you and has the perfect plan for you and His timing is THE PERFECT TIMING
Back when I was still in a relationship, we used to do lots of thing together, and have fun. We travelled, went to downhill skiing, or just watched DVDs home. That was the best time of my life. Now that we have broke up, there is not much meaning to do anything anymore. If I went traveling, seeing some castles or surfing alone... nah there would be no one to share those moments and adventures anymore. Thats what is the worst thing about loneliness, there is not much meaning in life anymore, nothing to look forward to. This lonely life is futile!
I advise people to spend just 3 months of their life by themselves. By that I mean do your on thing, go to places by yourself, enjoy the things that you want to do, the hobbies which you like. Don't care about whether or not you're with anyone. Don't make expectations on yourself or other people. Not even friends. Enjoy your own company. . I did this a few year ago and this was the most amazing experience. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. This will be the time where you really get to know who you really are and as surprisingly as you may believe, the happiest you can ever be. The key is to not have expectations of anyone, most of all yourself. It honestly is about experiencing...everything.
Yes this is all true..i spent years doing me..but for me the there is no escaping love. Wanting to love someone and be loved back..Its a good feeling. Ultimately we all want that...why not we are born with the desire naturally Loneliness is real
I realized that all of us who comment here have something in common, we wanna respect, wanna the sensation of comfort and we wanna be accepted the way we are. I think if we could meet we'd build a really strong relationship.
You might also find these videos helpful: 1) How To Stop Feeling Lacking and Worried About Being Single (Stop Feeling Lonely) 2) How To Be Happy Single 3) How To Stop Thinking About Someone 4) How To Deal With A Break Up - WHY They Broke Up With You 5) How To Deal With Depression - Tactics That Work Immediately
love the video, helpful and logical. however, what if you feel you love somone. the loneliness is from wanting this person so bad but living with knowing you wont be with that person. is this a fantasy or thought that can be dispelled. you cover searching for love to rid of loneliness or feeling under loved in a relatinship but what about my premise of having love for someone you cant have? thanks, keep up the good work
Ramiro Ramos you live in the city? I'm from the mountains in Tennessee.... Freedom can make you happy even if you don't have a lot of money.... Just having enough to eat & being healthy & free to walk through the woods feeling the peace & calmness of it.... I had a booboo so I can't walk threw my woods no more, I miss it so bad.... I don't feel free any more....
I have always felt like an alien since I was a teenager. I am surrounded by people in my social life but I am lonely. I deliberately avoid falling in love too because I am an alien and my personality has nothing that can attract a woman. I have always tried to find ways to deal with it. I talk to myself a lot. This video is helpful.
I learnt to enjoy my loneliness by spending time on myself, my hobbies, shopping alone, keeping myself engaged, taking my own decisions and following what I love. I feel happy inside. Thanks Noah, your videos played a major role throughout this journey. Stay blessed :)
I been single for eight years and I feel lonely every day I am 28 and everyone I used to be friends with are married and got there own lives, so therefore I have no one else, I still got my parents but that is different than being loved by a woman it sucks I have learned to deal with the feeling better than I used toit hits me hard some nights and days
Hi TheJess1984, one of the major tricks of mind is that it creates a feeling, and then says that the feeling is proof that something is wrong with your life. For example, your might tells you that you need to have a boyfriend, and then you feel lacking.... then mind says that your feeling of lack is created by not having a boyfriend. But, this is the same thing as your mind telling you "I am going to get fired from my job next week", then you feel anxiety... and then your mind says that you are experiencing anxiety because you are going to get fired. NO. Your feeling is created by believing a thought to be true, so your feeling does not indicate that your thought is true.
Besides my own mind doing this to me like you say Noah; I got plenty of people that I came across in my life that rejected me and made me feel lacking or that something was (is) wrong with me.
Mike Yen1971 Friend, look on the bright side and realize many people are out there are in miserable relationahips and also that love relationships take allot of work. On the other hand, being alone is difficult to. I know how you feel. One way to look at it is that you got more time to do things you like to do. It has to be fine, you just have to make it fine. It's hard but you just have to find ways to cope. That's what I do.
Lisa Sc Yes that's true but god doesn't attend on use being alone for ever he has plans and he's working on putting together the perfect match for me.Just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm going to be for the rest of my life I no I'm a really good guy and I have a good heart this is not forever it's temporary I well find true love again God has a plan for me and he well direct me the right way ?When he thanks it's the right time he well bring true love to me.
Your voice is very hypnotic. I've tried 3 times to listen all the way through and I'm instead comforted into deep sleep. I think your message is comforting as well and that's also a reason I drift off:)
When you say "what creates our loneliness is the belief that a relationship can make us happy" So true. Or, another way I look at it, is that we need to acknowledge that we are fundamentally alone...as Orson Wells states: "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."
Hi Noah, you are a very kind person. Your video was very informative! I always thought the feelings came before the thoughts... You are a wise soul. Thank You!
My whole 'remedy' is distraction. Underlying is always the lonely/depressed feelings. What makes me feel lonely, is knowing myself very well, seeing the recent past and based on that, seeing no hope for any connection to anyone any time soon... seems bleak.
+Gregory May Whatever has happened to you in your recent past, it's perhaps that you are just trying to work it out? perhaps it has affected you more than you realise, i hope your distractions are healthy anyway. I wish you all the best, you are not alone.
+Gregory May I feel ya man. My past haunts me everyday. I was a seriously disgusting person. What helps me is knowing im not that same guy and will eventually be where I want. Hope it gets better for ya brotha! God bless!
I watched your video on loneliness about a month ago. I am a person that has been clinically depressed all my life. Your video helped me to understand what I was doing to myself, and how I could be in control of my own emotions. Your talk was so clear and so compassionate that it immediately made sense to me on all levels. For the last month I have been freed from thinking that I just wasn't going to be a happy person. Noah, I have no idea how I can thank you enough for giving me one of the most important presents I've ever received, the gift of happiness.
It's not even about being in a relationship or being single. I'm lonely at times because I don't really have that many friends. The friends I do have that are close are busy with their own lives and aren't always around which i don't blame them for. It is just really hard to find people who I can gel up with easily.
Situation➡️Thought➡️Emotion➡️Behavior Love Noel. Used to listen to him years ago and still sometimes do. Thanks for helping your fellow man and making the world a little bit better.
I'm alone (romantically) because I'm too scared of being hurt again to let anyone get close to me. I also hate myself. my appearance, my shyness, my paranoia. it's all my fault that I'm alone. I don't deserve love. it hurts me to say that, but sometimes the truth hurts :(
+SKYDORMER Hi SKYDORMER I hope you don't mind me saying this but I have felt exactly how you feel as I was engaged to my ex for over 4 and a half years and I was with her for 5 and a half years.I thought she was the love of my life when she left me for a younger man who had better prospects than me such as a car and he lived near her and better job etc. I was so devastated and destroyed and I felt that I could not trust anyone or let anyone back in as I was so afraid to get hurt but the truth is when I stood back and I thought about things did she make me happy and the truth is no she didn't!!. I mean she took some of the crap I felt about myself away but then gave me so much more as she was so insecure she controlled my life and made me feel like crap and when she left me she made me feel even lower about myself. The point is that no one should ever control you in that way and that is life you have your ups and downs but you never give up. The thing is that even though you may hate yourself it is not actually you who hates yourself and has all these other issues it's the thoughts that are created by your mind that are the problem because if you took all of these negative thoughts away you would see yourself in a different and positive light as you want the truth and that is you are worthy of love and it's not your fault that you are alone you just need to realise a few things before you can reach that level of happiness that you desire. The thing that you need to realise is that you don't need to have a girlfriend to fill that emptiness of being alone but that you need to accept you as you for all your insecurities and issues that you have.You will start to find peace and that even though you think you are not perfect who is as everyone has some type of flaw whether looks wise or personality wise it is a part of what makes everyone a unique and special individual. All you need to do is start to accept yourself and realise your you and proud of it and that is when you will start to find happiness and when you start to find happiness then that is when you will find someone because even though you were hurt by someone does not mean you are not worthy of love of course you are it's just that person did not see you for your unique and special qualities that you have and did not see the unique and special individual you are. you do not need someone to make you complete they are just a bonus in life and whether you do meet someone and they stay in your life or if they go. You will always have that inner peace knowing that your you and you are proud of it. Now you need to remember that once you are happy within yourself you will find someone because you will not need to rely on someone else to make you happy so do hobbies you enjoy or things that you like to do most and by doing that you will slowly replace these negative thoughts you have with positive ones and you will slowly but surely start to have that inner peace and that happiness that you want. So please remember that and if you would ever like to have someone to talk to I'm here to listen. So please take care and I wish you all the best in finding your happiness.
+Exidous100 Nice post but it seems your end goal there is to find someone. What if that doesnt happen? What worries me is being like 80 years old with no one, no one to help me or care if I live or die. I think thats what loneliness is to me, being as irrelavent as a dead bug. No one cares nor will they ever, if that is reality for me how do I deal with it?
literally. this video touched my heart. i have family and good friends to spend time with. but still i feel lonely. from now on i will let go all the thoughts that were making me feel lonely. thank you so much for the video.
I've been thinking about this alot recently, I feel lonely for no apperant reason. But it makes sense, when I'm not thinking about my loneliness - I don't feel lonely. This video helped me out quite a bit in understanding why I feel the things I do. And now when I know the cause I can fix the problem. Big thanks for making this free for everyone to watch!
how about a video about loneliness when you are literally always alone, when everyone is so caught up in their own lives to include you inside, hmmmm?! it is not good to always be alone.
Omg, that's the case scenario of my life right now. I thought that I was the only one feeling this way but reading the comments I now know that a lot of people are feeling lonely. I'm now going to meetup groups like meetup.com so I can meet new and like minded people. If we want change we have to make a change even if that means to go and find some new real friends. Take care :)
Thank you for this video. I struggle with depression largely based around loneliness. I resent the forsaking of the present when I can logically recognize the amount of things in my life I should be grateful and happy about, but let my emotions get the better of me and indulge in negativity centered around being lonely. I'm recently divorced but don't want that to be an excuse. I've known the key lies inside. It helps to hear someone articulate that key and remind me it is achievable to not entertain the emotional wedges that try and drag me down. Your positivity and logic are refreshing, and appreciated.
You're welcome Andrew. As long as you believe thoughts, they will create emotions and take your attention. No amount of discipline or will-power can get you to stop giving attention to them. However, when you stop believing a thought, there becomes no reason to give attention to the thoughts that create suffering. Then, we are free!
My situation is strange I dont really know what I feel, I just kinda feel sad. I dont like anyone. I somehow managed to convince myself to just stop caring about people. I dont see attraction. I dont get the point. I just feel like its a waste of time. But I feel like thats a huge chunk taken out of my life and I feel like I cant get that back
ludum deus Whata? Are you thinking on suicide? Get over that state, I recommend you to start doing exercise where you feel like nothing, that works on me, grab your favourite music and heavy weights or hard pulls ups. i´m in 15 days outside the PMO. Or i don´t know for example bring back those good memories when you played Halo 3 online, we all were happy, so let´s keep on that state
If feeling lonely was factually and directly created by "not having anybody to tell how I'm feeling", then in every moment that you didn't tell someone how you're feeling, you would feel lonely. But, that's not that case. In any moment that you are distracted from your thoughts, you don't feel lonely. In addition, if loneliness was factually and directly created by "not having anybody to tell how I'm feeling", then everybody who had someone to tell how they're feeling would not feel lonely. But is that true? No, of course not. Many people who can share how they feel in romantic relationships, with friends, with family, or with a therapist still feel lonely. You can't stop feeling lonely until you first understand what is creating loneliness.
Noah, you are AWESOME. You can't imagine how much you are helping me to not feel that there's something or someone missing in my life that keeps me from really being happy. My gratefulness and best wishes for you. Love lots.
I'm lonley because i have literally no friends..i just feel like nobody likes me, i sit at home all day doing nothing and that makes me feel lonley and unwanted. How do i deal with that? :(
Before watching this video I felt terrible alone cause my boyfriend broke up with me and we're not more than just friends now. But after watching I felt really relieved and I realized all the loneliness and pain was just based on feeling like he didn't care for me anymore. But him being still friends with me shows he still cares. And even if tonight he's going out with some friends, that doesn't mean he forgot me or he doesn't care for me anymore. You made me see this and I'm so thankful for this video, you've helped me a lot! Oh, and your voice was very relaxing, just saying.
Amazing video and i agree. I have lived alone for 10 years & i have loved every minute of it, cos i don't think about "what if I were in a relationship" No. Just embrace & love yourself, then you'll never feel loneliness.
Everyone always tells me that I can still be just as happy and fulfilled without being in a relationship, but I can't. I've tried everything. It makes me angry even, because they are the people who have somebody who loves them, or wants to be around them. No matter what I do, nothing changes. It hurts so much being this lonely, and no one seems to notice, and no one wants to help, even if I beg for it. When I am in a relationship, I do not feel like this. I feel happy. I just want that back, but nothing I do ever changes it. And seeing everyone around me experiencing that happiness, while I'm stuck feeling this hopeless, hurts so much. I don't know what to do.
I feel the exact same , I'm up crying right now , and I can't help it , people are always saying its gonna be ok but they dont understand at all .. Because they have some one .. I hate depending on people for my happiness 😪
Hi. I have been feeling lonely since I moved to my husband's country 8 years ago. I felt this way since I don't have any friends or family here. I realized your video makes so much sense. I am actually going to write down not just the judgements I have about my husband, but about myself as well. Thanks a lot for your video :)
I'm 22 I've never had a girlfriend or met a girl that liked me, it sucks but I'd rather have a friend, just 1 friend you know, why can't I have just 1 friend :(
Completely agree I have severe depression and I've heard things like this from other people extremely helpful. Just know that you effect people more than you know.
You don't have to be smart to talk to people, friendships may seem fun, but they are not important as much in life than a job is, a job keeps you busy and moving, more is said about jobs in the media than friendships. You could goto work and meet people that way..or watch a film in the cinema or visit a restaurant...just be careful...friends are not whom you could always trust..
Well good luck, hope you do find some friends that you can trust, be very alert that way you can tell if your dealing with a honest, polite, trustworthy person, You can choose to be on your own or isolated, but it's not advisable due to the fact that there are lots of insane druggies, everywhere and being on your own all the time could make you vulnerable or unsafe, you just don't know when you maybe approached by one, to be safe in today's world you do need friends to look after you and keep you safe, being on your own wherever you go, is never safe, so I am advising you should kill off time, and go and make friends that you can trust or rely, you don't want to make friends with backstabbers, as they may just ignore you, or not look after you well..well good luck and I hope you do meet your expectations..
Going through a very difficult time in life right now and I just wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU. Thank you for wanting to help others. Thank you for being YOU. I am truly grateful for your words. I feel like this video was made specifically for my situation. Again, thank you.
His voice and calm tone calms me and helps me not think of my ex and my real gf that i miss i was crying hard and now i feel like i can go for a hike thx Noah
facing the computer all day at work due to my job type ... then going back to home sitting in my room till I fall asleep ... our city closes at 7 pm except bars which is the only social life here and I dont go to.... and when the weekend comes i keep wondering what to do ... I would be lucky if i spoke to someone face to face for more than 10 mins in a day...
I know how you feel I've just moved to a new city after living abroad , I don't know anyone and am not close with family all I see is families and couples and groups of friends around me whilst I walk about alone, but I'm getting used to it now, things will change but we have to be brave and make an effort to meet people by our own interests
What advise would you give too someone who hasn't had a single friend for over two years because the small city you live in is full of people who dislike you?
It dont matter how small a city you live in or how large....we all experience loneliness. So Listen again to what this guy is saying about loneliness. You and I are creating our loneliness because we dont feel good enough about ourselves. If You live in a small town that does not like you and you have no way of getting out of that town, You will have to begin to accept yourself. And that is a difficult thing to do. Dont think this will happen overnight for you. You will have to PUSH to love yourself because everybody else is telling you that you are "not right"....You are unlovable. And you are accepting those thoughts from other people.
Thoughts are responsible for unhappiness/ loneliness ...... long term isolation is a chronic breeding ground for this ...... Too much time to think and dwell on things ..... it's a vicious circle, or spiral.
True a lot of this thinking and loneliness comes to me at bed time I can't fall asleep that fast so I always end up thinking about crap like this I fucking hate being alone :(
dmitri cochrane i do too :( im scared to sleep because the loneliness almost feel tangible and gripping, its a scary thought to know even when youre with people you feel like your trillions of light years away from all of them in another unknown lonely planet, where the population is 1: You.. I even have had dreams where Im running around trying to find at least one person in the entire planet....
Noah, for the most part, I understand what you are conveying in this video. My situation is that I do not desire relationship for the purpose of needing happiness or the need to feel complete. I'm mature enough to know that those feelings come from within. My desire for relationship is simply to experience that feeling of intimate connection, I'm not speaking simply from a physical standpoint, though that is certainly a part of it. I've had to deal with way too many "soft-handed" rejections. Those that say, "You're a great guy, but I'm not the one for you." Or, "I'm not ready for what you want, but you're going to make someone really happy." The list goes on and on. This is not just a once in a while happening, rather this occurs REGULARLY. After a while, one tends to wonder what it is that's wrong with him/her that they cannot attain pure, loving companionship. What would you say about that?
Hi Brent, the 2 things you mentioned in your comment are very different. Wanting an intimate connection with someone is completely fine. But, that in and of itself, doesn't create loneliness. Loneliness is created by believing the experience of being with someone is "better" than not being with someone. And since the only thing we care about is our own happiness, "better" means "I would be happier if I had it". This thought is very subtle, but if there is loneliness, then this thought is there. As for the comments people say to you when they break up with you, I address those issues in my video about "how to heal a broken heart". Good luck Brent!
Thank you this really helped me put things into the right perspective. Our minds are very powerful sometime we all need coaching on how to change our thought patterns
I feel ya there. I'm in my mid 30's and lost everything in the last couple years of my 20's due to wasting my life on sex, drugs, and rock and roll. At this point I'm just trying to do enough with my 30's to make my 40's enjoyable.
Jon Watts I wish you all the best on your journey.. I hope you get to where you want to be in life.. It's always good when we hear of other people who have struggled in life make it to where they are happy.. Take care.. :)
Bravo Noah! Excellent video, excellent counseling insights! I applaud you for the time and effort you have put into providing these "free" videos which help people who are suffering and in pain due to hurt emotions and faulty inner thoughts. God bless you!
I struggle with anxiety, trauma, & depression & I do go to therapy. But...i do feel kinda lonely at times cause everyone on my family is quite busy with there lives, I just wish they'd make time for me.
What I have found is that I must make time for MYSELF. I must learn to be selfish. Sometimes I go over board on selfishness. But it is necessary for me to be so selfish. Then later I learn to balance that thing out. O belive me when you begin to be selfish, there will be a lot of pushback. For Me I gotta get real mad at my situation to go that far. So Anger in some ways become a tool for me to ignore the push back. Afterwards I learn to balance that anger. But at least the anger and the power that comes from it PUSHES me to be more confident in myself. I make sure my anger does not hurt other people, I just make sure my anger is used to overcome powerlessness, defeat and all the other negative words I have previously used on myself. I use that anger to become powerful in a good way.
I wrote the exact comment about my families being busy with their own lives and they just forget about me, not knowing that I live anymore. They just straight up forgets that I need food, I need education and care. I feel insecure about myself too. That people would judge me that I don't know my hobby, my own family, etc. I don't know how to feel about this situation.
I'm not sure you have really underlined the feeling of loneliness...it's not about other people being around you at all......it's more about feeling disconnected from everything.......the loneliness you are describing is a selfish and superficial one.......and is light years away from what people who feel real loneliness feel.....
Mehmet Sinan Hi Mehmet, I'm sorry if my video wasn't clear for you, but I am talking about feeling disconnected and empty regardless of whether you are with people or not.
I understand. However the term "loneliness" in the clinical sense is a much broader condition that many people suffer from regardless of their social success. Robin Williams was one of these people I believe. If people have issues not being able to connect with others socially it should be dealt with under a different subject. Wouldn't you agree....
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come across as condescending. But the video seemed superficial in comparison to the topic name. Being diagnosed myself with depression as a result of suffering from loneliness (in the actual sense) it is quite close to the heart....so to speak. Thank you for taking time to discuss this. And I appreciate your intent and interest. I wish you all the best in your endeavours.
I agree..look up pathological loneliness..Its an unbearable pain that comes from a relationship ending and the reason why we jump from one relationship to the next..
Thank you, thank you so much to encourage me, encourage us to keep going. Your enshrinement speech made me not to be lonely, from bottom of my heart, I genuinely appreciate it.
When I was single I was usually happy, I talked with my friends allot and we had fun, we'd do things together and my life was just happy, I never had a depression. Then I met a girl, me and that girl ended up having a 4 month relationship and, it was all happy in the first months. I felt loved and without any doubts she felt loved aswell, I tried to be the best boyfriend I could be but yet, after some months, I started feeling depressed. I grew bored of everything, my friends, my activities and even my own girlfriend. She grew bored of me aswell which just caused the depression to get worse by a large scale. I felt lonely so much because she didn't show any love torwards me at all. We had frequent discussions and I'd just isolate myself from everyone. Eventually I found out she was cheating on me with a friend of mine, yet I just continued dating her because I was scared of being single, because it would make me feel even more lonely than I am right now. 1 month after discovering this I decided it was time to break up with her, and she didn't seem sad at all. How do I deal with this..?
You are Amazing! I was feeling pretty lonely this evening... Trying to figure out how to deal with it. So I looked up TH-cam Videos on Loneliness. I am very analytical and the way you verbalized the thought pattern was fantastic. I am single... Thinking "It would be so nice if I just had someone". You video made me look back on my life... And you are right. There were many many times I was in a lonely or toxic relationship that I felt even lonelier. I have so many people around me that love me and I would rather be alone (not lonely) than be in a relationship and be lonely. I believe (similar to what you said)... An idle mind can produce unrealistic thoughts that are not realistic and even make you act on those thoughts. I'm going to finish my evening with gratitude, uplifting music... Oh and the next episode of Walking Dead LOL! Thanks again so much. I'm watching all your videos
How do I deal with having friends that are involved and that show interest in certain topics that I dislike? How do I deal with the extreme desire of having a girlfriend? So to speak... P.S. both of the statements do contribute to my depression/loneliness
BRO. I know all the causes of my loneliness, one major is that being the only child is hella boring, and the list goes on. I understand all whats happening but its the fact that Im always alone everyday after school, I go up in my room and most of the time I act lazy just because I have no one to play with, talk with, etc and I think its just pointless sometimes playing video games by myself
Hi Jom, that loneliness is created by something different than I am talking about in this video. I will try to make a video about that in the future. In the meantime, you might want to look to join school clubs or something like that.
Oh my god thank you so much for posting these videos. I recently went through a terrible break up and your videos make me feel a LOT better, so thank you!
"You're not missing out on anything." If I were to die in my room right now, nobody would notice for weeks, maybe months. I have no friends. Of course I am missing out on something. I appreciate your help but really, I feel that this video will not help people who are genuinely lonely.
I know what you mean. I understand (and appreciate) the message in this video, but genuine loneliness is a little bit more complicated than this, and is more of a serious issue. What he doesn't talk about is the anxiety that comes from the difficulty with making connections, the isolation of feeling unappreciated or misunderstood. The problems with self confidence and self esteem that come from being alone all the time - all of these things can make loneliness feel like we're trapped in a deep, dark hole under the ground, while life is continuing without us on the surface.
Just want to say, you're a great person :) It's awesome also that you actually answer people's questions and stuff in the comments. Keep up the good work!!!
I was crying I saw the whole video and I felt better wiped my tears and not sad anymore thank you so much Im going to come back to this video when I feel lonely again so please dont delete it ❤️ thanks again
I listed to the single portion of your video about 2 weeks ago, and I realized, I wasn't thinking about being alone, and I realized I didn't feel alone whatsoever, this worked so well for me! Thank you so mush
I met 3 women this year. All of them I dated for max 4 weeks. I held hands with them, kissed and cuddled them, but after a while they just cut me loose. I didn't get it. I'm 18, they were the same age. After each, "dumping" I felt worse and worse. Just a few days ago, the latest dumping happened and I'm devastated again. I feel really lonely and unwanted. I feel like I have no character and I can't attract other people. At school, I just have casual friends that I chat with only there. Not outside school. But I have 3-5 really good friends that I am almost every weekend with and can talk with. I also play football(soccer) in a highly competitive team(My name is on the newspaper almost every week when I score a goal etc.) but the team mates aren't my friends outside the pitch either. I just want to be charismatic and loved. But I can't seem to do it. I'm a bit socially awkward and shy. I feel uncomfortable being myself with other people(especially new people) and I'm sometimes paranoid that people are talking trash about me behind my back. I'm so sad and not content. I want help but I don't know what's exactly going on and how should I seek it. I feel like these bad feelings grew exponentially when those 3 girls rejected me... I felt so good with them
mrroo96 Hey mrroo, I'm sorry that you've been struggling. Try watching my broken heart video, and my social anxiety video. They will help you to make some sense of it.Its not that you're not charismatic, it's that you just believe thoughts that make you feel worried about their opinions, which make you nervous and not free to be yourself.
Thanks Noah. This video helped me a lot and made me evaluate my judgement, i cry about this thoughts and now that i have taken a new perspective on my life, which made me realized you're right . its the thought that made me lonely. Now i'm able to see happiness in every situation.
Loneliness is something bad that people create under bad circumstances and they feel weak and searching for another person to share their pain that is bothering.:) The best way to overcome this is to find happiness in different activities. My cure is going for fishing and being in nature. I love to see couples in the park with smiles , that makes me happy. World is too negative to create more negative waves. Just see or try seeing positive in everything around you. Make the world a better place! Love you all and have a nice day!
We were taught by our parents, our teachers, and society that you should be in a relationship and that a relationship is the key to happiness. So of course we are going to believe them. It does not make you a fool. But, you are right in that you have been looking for someone to improve your opinion of yourself. But no matter how much anyone loves you, they can't make you love yourself. To love yourself, directly address the thoughts that keep you from loving yourself.
![ลองสุ่มไอโฟน 990 โกงมั้ย? [ โกงมั้ยครับ ep.101 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfsWe0j492k/mqdefault.jpg)
The true meaning of being lonely, when you have a lot of friends, but they have no problem living without you
Hit hard:|
My problem is i have no one to talk to and nobody i can trust or feel comfortable talking to. This is why loneliness is my main problem
i feel your pain
Try to choose a new picture, what the hell is that?
who me?
someone you don't know No, idon't know you.
chase patton try the video I have just made. seems quite suited to your problem
i don't have parents, even friends... I've always felt alone, insecurities, unworthy but still fighting for this miserable life..
+Joana Ramos mhm shure.
U R doing good Job. All The Best for Future. U will do it..
+Joana Ramos I hope you don't mind me saying this but you will always be worthy in this life as you are unique and one of a kind just like me and everyone else. Each one of us is special and unique in our own way and no matter who puts us down we will always be worthy in this life. No matter how bad our insecurities get we need to remind ourselves that in the scheme of things it's nonsense as everyone has some kind of flaw or imperfection no matter how plastic or perfect or happy they may seem there is always something they are unhappy with under the surface but the key to helping ourselves is to stop putting ourselves down and judging ourselves based on the idea of what is perfect and what anyone else says and just accept that we may have flaws but we use these flaws as just one piece of our overall character and uniqueness and it just makes us all the more special. Anyway keep going and you will make it as you are worth it and never forget that and I hope you make your future whatever you want to be and I wish you all the very best !! :)
+Exidous100 i straight up love you :-)
Aww well thank you kirstin Waugh that is very nice of you to say and I'm very grateful for your very kind words so thank you but can I just ask why do you love me ? :)
You can overcome loneliness by really experiencing it to the full without fighting it or attempting to resist it in any way. Loneliness is like quicksand, if you struggle against it, you sink deeper and faster, but if you relax, let it completely take you, you find that you can float on it, then it changes to a sense of total freedom and liberation.
I grabbed a potato and drawed a face on it, he's now my best friend.
Good for you :)
I might have to do that... i have depretion and im verry loneley..
DutchGhost maybe you have a hidden ability to make friends, you just didn t use and try it out yet. I feel like you right now..:(
DutchGhostRider i'll be your friend *give you a hug* i'll be the potato
DutchGhostRider This made me laugh thank you 😊
im literally crying myself to sleep every night the feeling of loneliness is too much for me and i can never seem to have a meaningfull friendship or get a girlfriend or anything. i've only got acquaintances and my social anxiety keeps me away from having those meaningful relationships with people. What is the point in living if you have nobody to share your life with? I would literally go on facebook and see people having fun and taking photos at the beach with all their friends and being happy and thats all i ever wanted in my life, it tears me up inside when i see that. Girls don't notice me and i feel like a complete and utter loser. This life is to painful and i know i can't live like this much longer. I'm just a nice guy with good intentions for everything and for people that i meet so what have i done to deserve all this pain and loneliness? I'm asking for somebody to reach out to me before i do something really stupid
+Mr. Johnson I know the feeling bro. The girl of my dreams just told me i was just a friend for her last week. And this is not the first time it happens to me. The truth is no one will pay attention to someone who's too nice to people. Sad but true. I'm always too nice with girls I like and here's what I got : friendzone. So start thinking about your own good and do something for you. No one will take care of you if don't start taking care of yourself first. So grab a beer, watch a stupid movie, and try to meet new people and don't give them more than what they give you
+Mr. Johnson Hi Mr Johnson I just want to say that I know how you feel I really do as I have been in the same dark place myself but with all of my honesty you can come back from this and you can make your life so much better. What you need to do is first accept who you are as you are a special and unique individual and you need to accept all your flaws as everyone has flaws and I'm not afraid to say that I have flaws but that is not what makes me who I am it is just a small part of what makes me a unique individual just like your flaws are what make a small part of what makes you a unique individual.When I started to accept myself and realise I'm me and proud of it that is when I started to find happiness and when I started to find happiness then that is when I made friends because I did not need friends or a girlfriend to make me complete they were just a bonus in life and whether my friends or girlfriend would stay in my life or if they go I will always have that inner peace knowing that I'm me and proud of it. Now you need to remember that you are special and unique and that you don't need friends or a girlfriend to be happy. You need to accept yourself as the special person you are and once you are happy within yourself you will make friends because you will not need to rely on someone else to make you happy as you will be happy within yourself and be proud to be you which is what you and everyone should be I wish you all the very best of luck and I hope you find that happiness in the future but never give up because then you will never be happy.
+QuentinDannaud wow man same. so true.
QuentinDannaud I made some progress. But in general what happened to you happened to me.. and again this this past weekend. Yeah it sucks i got so angry i started kicking in cars in the parking lot at the club and security was calling the cops. Almost got arrested. My mate showed me a book which i am reading now and he said he found nothing but success with women. Reading it now so i'll see how i progress through the upcoming months. I plan to go out a lot and put what i learn from the book to use and see how i go.
Mr. Johnson I know it's been a while, but did that book help? What was the title/author? Sounds good.....
I'm single with no kids, a good job and I also live alone, most time I feel very lonely & wish that there where people in my life to make these feelings go away but I realize that genuine people are very hard to find these days
I am alone and like my company. I don't like neighbors barging in on men because they are lonely too. I put a sign on my door.{Please do not disturb}
I’ve made many “friends” where I live now, but all just turn out the be self-absorbed users. Genuine friends I’ve known since I was young, live far away.
reading some comments makes me a little happy to know that im not the only one feeling lonley, sorry not to say that people should feel that way. but it helps knowing there are others who are feeling the same way as me, i believe life is too beautifull to put to waste for anyone. im single and i do feel lonley even when i ws in a relationship i was trully never happy and allwas felt alone i didnt understand why, whats wrong with me. but after failed relationships i have learned to embrace life even being single and loving myself. we are all precious and no can hurt you unless you allow yourself to be hurt. thank you Noah
Very true, i was married for 7 years and I felt very lonely. Most people are in relationships because they fear loneliness and to me that’s wrong
I don't have any friends now ,no real hobbies .I go to work but spend most of my time alone.
Me too ITS MISERABLE
Omg yes this is all I do and its depressing plus ending a relationship/situationship. No answers jus left to go back home 10 hrs away and im here lonely wit no appetite or sleep. I been up for 3 days 💔😭
Man you are helping a lot of people including me...thanx a lot buddy....
+Anurag Dhall You're welcome Anurag
I need someone to cuddle, to fall asleep with. I just need someone to be there for me. its been so long and i feel alone in this bed. i feel im in pain
i feel exactly like you!
Me too!!!!
Thanks for putting things in to perspective. "Happiness is what remains when we lose the thoughts that makes us feel lonely."
Thumbs up.
Drew R. Glad it was clear for you Drew
My thought is that God allowed lonliness in a person to crave a deep connection to him and to spend time in fellowship with people that have the same heart towards God
Christina Cha The only issue with that theory is that plenty of people who surround themselves with others who have "the same heart towards God" still struggle with loneliness.
Christina Bunch that's very good and very true! It's best in every situation to give it to God, because He knows exactly what we want(whether that be a soulmate/partner or something else) and wanta to give us the desires of our heart in due time, we must do our part and like Adam did he worshiped and praised God always until God noticed man cant do it alone and created a provider, so that's when we will find what it is our hearts truly desire, is when we take all our focus off that one thing and give it to God He knows you and has the perfect plan for you and His timing is THE PERFECT TIMING
Back when I was still in a relationship, we used to do lots of thing together, and have fun. We travelled, went to downhill skiing, or just watched DVDs home. That was the best time of my life. Now that we have broke up, there is not much meaning to do anything anymore. If I went traveling, seeing some castles or surfing alone... nah there would be no one to share those moments and adventures anymore.
Thats what is the worst thing about loneliness, there is not much meaning in life anymore, nothing to look forward to. This lonely life is futile!
I advise people to spend just 3 months of their life by themselves. By that I mean do your on thing, go to places by yourself, enjoy the things that you want to do, the hobbies which you like. Don't care about whether or not you're with anyone. Don't make expectations on yourself or other people. Not even friends. Enjoy your own company. . I did this a few year ago and this was the most amazing experience. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. This will be the time where you really get to know who you really are and as surprisingly as you may believe, the happiest you can ever be.
The key is to not have expectations of anyone, most of all yourself. It honestly is about experiencing...everything.
Yes this is all true..i spent years doing me..but for me the there is no escaping love. Wanting to love someone and be loved back..Its a good feeling. Ultimately we all want that...why not we are born with the desire naturally
Loneliness is real
When you buy 1 ticket to see batman v superman because nobody wanted to go with you except your parents..
+Angel you're not alone
hahaha ...sad but true.
I feel you...
Angel
Probably because it was a shit movie
Angel I bought one ticket to see Wonder woman because no one wanted to go with me.
I realized that all of us who comment here have something in common, we wanna respect, wanna the sensation of comfort and we wanna be accepted the way we are. I think if we could meet we'd build a really strong relationship.
Матеус Лима indeed we may
You might also find these videos helpful:
1) How To Stop Feeling Lacking and Worried About Being Single (Stop Feeling Lonely)
2) How To Be Happy Single
3) How To Stop Thinking About Someone
4) How To Deal With A Break Up - WHY They Broke Up With You
5) How To Deal With Depression - Tactics That Work Immediately
love the video, helpful and logical. however, what if you feel you love somone. the loneliness is from wanting this person so bad but living with knowing you wont be with that person. is this a fantasy or thought that can be dispelled. you cover searching for love to rid of loneliness or feeling under loved in a relatinship but what about my premise of having love for someone you cant have? thanks, keep up the good work
blicky2blacky I feel you, this is me!
I need a reply from this question
Ramiro Ramos you live in the city? I'm from the mountains in Tennessee.... Freedom can make you happy even if you don't have a lot of money.... Just having enough to eat & being healthy & free to walk through the woods feeling the peace & calmness of it.... I had a booboo so I can't walk threw my woods no more, I miss it so bad.... I don't feel free any more....
Thumbs Up! 👍
I have always felt like an alien since I was a teenager. I am surrounded by people in my social life but I am lonely. I deliberately avoid falling in love too because I am an alien and my personality has nothing that can attract a woman. I have always tried to find ways to deal with it. I talk to myself a lot. This video is helpful.
crazy silly Literally like me.I actually have autism. I'm treated as if I'm a different species.
I learnt to enjoy my loneliness by spending time on myself, my hobbies, shopping alone, keeping myself engaged, taking my own decisions and following what I love. I feel happy inside. Thanks Noah, your videos played a major role throughout this journey. Stay blessed :)
I been single for eight years and I feel lonely every day I am 28 and everyone I used to be friends with are married and got there own lives, so therefore I have no one else, I still got my parents but that is different than being loved by a woman it sucks I have learned to deal with the feeling better than I used toit hits me hard some nights and days
I've been single forever.....
I know this is pretty late, but same here.
I admire how you're so positive and support all these people.
Hi TheJess1984, one of the major tricks of mind is that it creates a feeling, and then says that the feeling is proof that something is wrong with your life. For example, your might tells you that you need to have a boyfriend, and then you feel lacking.... then mind says that your feeling of lack is created by not having a boyfriend. But, this is the same thing as your mind telling you "I am going to get fired from my job next week", then you feel anxiety... and then your mind says that you are experiencing anxiety because you are going to get fired. NO. Your feeling is created by believing a thought to be true, so your feeling does not indicate that your thought is true.
Besides my own mind doing this to me like you say Noah; I got plenty of people that I came across in my life that rejected me and made me feel lacking or that something was (is) wrong with me.
How is it fine when everyone else has someone and I'm single and lonely how's is that fine ?
Mike Yen1971 Friend, look on the bright side and realize many people are out there are in miserable relationahips and also that love relationships take allot of work. On the other hand, being alone is difficult to. I know how you feel. One way to look at it is that you got more time to do things you like to do. It has to be fine, you just have to make it fine. It's hard but you just have to find ways to cope. That's what I do.
Lisa Sc Yes that's true but god doesn't attend on use being alone for ever he has plans and he's working on putting together the perfect match for me.Just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm going to be for the rest of my life I no I'm a really good guy and I have a good heart this is not forever it's temporary I well find true love again God has a plan for me and he well direct me the right way ?When he thanks it's the right time he well bring true love to me.
Lisa Sc that's so true
Your voice is very hypnotic. I've tried 3 times to listen all the way through and I'm instead comforted into deep sleep. I think your message is comforting as well and that's also a reason I drift off:)
When you say "what creates our loneliness is the belief that a relationship can make us happy" So true.
Or, another way I look at it, is that we need to acknowledge that we are fundamentally alone...as Orson Wells states:
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."
Hi Noah, you are a very kind person. Your video was very informative! I always thought the feelings came before the thoughts... You are a wise soul. Thank You!
My whole 'remedy' is distraction. Underlying is always the lonely/depressed feelings. What makes me feel lonely, is knowing myself very well, seeing the recent past and based on that, seeing no hope for any connection to anyone any time soon... seems bleak.
+Gregory May Whatever has happened to you in your recent past, it's perhaps that you are just trying to work it out? perhaps it has affected you more than you realise, i hope your distractions are healthy anyway. I wish you all the best, you are not alone.
+kirstin waugh Thanks for the niceness! ;)
+Gregory May I feel ya man. My past haunts me everyday. I was a seriously disgusting person. What helps me is knowing im not that same guy and will eventually be where I want. Hope it gets better for ya brotha! God bless!
I watched your video on loneliness about a month ago. I am a person that has been clinically depressed all my life.
Your video helped me to understand what I was doing to myself, and how I could be in control of my own emotions. Your talk was so clear and so compassionate that it immediately made sense to me on all levels. For the last month I have been freed from thinking that I just wasn't going to be a happy person. Noah, I have no idea how I can thank you enough for giving me one of the most important presents I've ever received, the gift of happiness.
It's not even about being in a relationship or being single. I'm lonely at times because I don't really have that many friends. The friends I do have that are close are busy with their own lives and aren't always around which i don't blame them for. It is just really hard to find people who I can gel up with easily.
Situation➡️Thought➡️Emotion➡️Behavior
Love Noel. Used to listen to him years ago and still sometimes do. Thanks for helping your fellow man and making the world a little bit better.
I'm alone (romantically) because I'm too scared of being hurt again to let anyone get close to me. I also hate myself. my appearance, my shyness, my paranoia. it's all my fault that I'm alone. I don't deserve love. it hurts me to say that, but sometimes the truth hurts :(
+SKYDORMER I feel the same way, but get yourself to being productive so that you don't think too much, that's what im doing and oh watch movies too.
+SKYDORMER please dont be so depressed... we all deserve love
still dont find one too, but i just believe. not easy, but we have no option
+SKYDORMER Same..
+SKYDORMER Hi SKYDORMER I hope you don't mind me saying this but I have felt exactly how you feel as I was engaged to my ex for over 4 and a half years and I was with her for 5 and a half years.I thought she was the love of my life when she left me for a younger man who had better prospects than me such as a car and he lived near her and better job etc. I was so devastated and destroyed and I felt that I could not trust anyone or let anyone back in as I was so afraid to get hurt but the truth is when I stood back and I thought about things did she make me happy and the truth is no she didn't!!. I mean she took some of the crap I felt about myself away but then gave me so much more as she was so insecure she controlled my life and made me feel like crap and when she left me she made me feel even lower about myself. The point is that no one should ever control you in that way and that is life you have your ups and downs but you never give up. The thing is that even though you may hate yourself it is not actually you who hates yourself and has all these other issues it's the thoughts that are created by your mind that are the problem because if you took all of these negative thoughts away you would see yourself in a different and positive light as you want the truth and that is you are worthy of love and it's not your fault that you are alone you just need to realise a few things before you can reach that level of happiness that you desire. The thing that you need to realise is that you don't need to have a girlfriend to fill that emptiness of being alone but that you need to accept you as you for all your insecurities and issues that you have.You will start to find peace and that even though you think you are not perfect who is as everyone has some type of flaw whether looks wise or personality wise it is a part of what makes everyone a unique and special individual. All you need to do is start to accept yourself and realise your you and proud of it and that is when you will start to find happiness and when you start to find happiness then that is when you will find someone because even though you were hurt by someone does not mean you are not worthy of love of course you are it's just that person did not see you for your unique and special qualities that you have and did not see the unique and special individual you are. you do not need someone to make you complete they are just a bonus in life and whether you do meet someone and they stay in your life or if they go. You will always have that inner peace knowing that your you and you are proud of it. Now you need to remember that once you are happy within yourself you will find someone because you will not need to rely on someone else to make you happy so do hobbies you enjoy or things that you like to do most and by doing that you will slowly replace these negative thoughts you have with positive ones and you will slowly but surely start to have that inner peace and that happiness that you want. So please remember that and if you would ever like to have someone to talk to I'm here to listen. So please take care and I wish you all the best in finding your happiness.
+Exidous100 Nice post but it seems your end goal there is to find someone. What if that doesnt happen? What worries me is being like 80 years old with no one, no one to help me or care if I live or die. I think thats what loneliness is to me, being as irrelavent as a dead bug. No one cares nor will they ever, if that is reality for me how do I deal with it?
It ALL comes down to love, thats the answer to all questions really. I was glad to see you speak about that.
literally. this video touched my heart. i have family and good friends to spend time with. but still i feel lonely. from now on i will let go all the thoughts that were making me feel lonely.
thank you so much for the video.
I've been thinking about this alot recently, I feel lonely for no apperant reason. But it makes sense, when I'm not thinking about my loneliness - I don't feel lonely. This video helped me out quite a bit in understanding why I feel the things I do. And now when I know the cause I can fix the problem. Big thanks for making this free for everyone to watch!
I wish these things would be teached in every school..
Amphior I'm working on it :)
i know this might sound crazy...but you are my best friend when im feeling sad.
Thanks bro.
how about a video about loneliness when you are literally always alone, when everyone is so caught up in their own lives to include you inside, hmmmm?! it is not good to always be alone.
Exactly.
omg yes hais
+Lazarus I'm in a similar situation right now.
Omg, that's the case scenario of my life right now. I thought that I was the only one feeling this way but reading the comments I now know that a lot of people are feeling lonely. I'm now going to meetup groups like meetup.com so I can meet new and like minded people.
If we want change we have to make a change even if that means to go and find some new real friends.
Take care :)
nice name !! where u from? my last name is Lazar
Thank you for this video. I struggle with depression largely based around loneliness. I resent the forsaking of the present when I can logically recognize the amount of things in my life I should be grateful and happy about, but let my emotions get the better of me and indulge in negativity centered around being lonely. I'm recently divorced but don't want that to be an excuse. I've known the key lies inside. It helps to hear someone articulate that key and remind me it is achievable to not entertain the emotional wedges that try and drag me down. Your positivity and logic are refreshing, and appreciated.
You're welcome Andrew. As long as you believe thoughts, they will create emotions and take your attention. No amount of discipline or will-power can get you to stop giving attention to them. However, when you stop believing a thought, there becomes no reason to give attention to the thoughts that create suffering. Then, we are free!
My situation is strange I dont really know what I feel, I just kinda feel sad. I dont like anyone. I somehow managed to convince myself to just stop caring about people. I dont see attraction. I dont get the point. I just feel like its a waste of time. But I feel like thats a huge chunk taken out of my life and I feel like I cant get that back
Diego Alejandro Rojas Prieto I geuss its worth a shot
ludum deus Whata? Are you thinking on suicide? Get over that state, I recommend you to start doing exercise where you feel like nothing, that works on me, grab your favourite music and heavy weights or hard pulls ups. i´m in 15 days outside the PMO. Or i don´t know for example bring back those good memories when you played Halo 3 online, we all were happy, so let´s keep on that state
This is brilliant, thank you for sharing. It brought a lot of peace to my heart.
What makes me feel lonely is not having anybody to tell how im feeling.
If feeling lonely was factually and directly created by "not having anybody to tell how I'm feeling", then in every moment that you didn't tell someone how you're feeling, you would feel lonely. But, that's not that case. In any moment that you are distracted from your thoughts, you don't feel lonely.
In addition, if loneliness was factually and directly created by "not having anybody to tell how I'm feeling", then everybody who had someone to tell how they're feeling would not feel lonely. But is that true? No, of course not. Many people who can share how they feel in romantic relationships, with friends, with family, or with a therapist still feel lonely.
You can't stop feeling lonely until you first understand what is creating loneliness.
Noah, you are AWESOME. You can't imagine how much you are helping me to not feel that there's something or someone missing in my life that keeps me from really being happy. My gratefulness and best wishes for you. Love lots.
I'm lonley because i have literally no friends..i just feel like nobody likes me, i sit at home all day doing nothing and that makes me feel lonley and unwanted.
How do i deal with that? :(
מיתר אוקנין I will put out a video about that next Saturday
I also don't have any friends.
I don't know if it's sad (sorry if I made it sound like that), but it has been my reality for most of my life, so I'm used to it.
you are not the only one im lonley too maybe that makes you feel better and maybe you want to be friends
מיתר אוקנין first of all: youre israeli youre awesome, i am too!
Mr. Elkrief, I just love the way you talk. It's so soothing, and makes me WANT to listen to you.
Before watching this video I felt terrible alone cause my boyfriend broke up with me and we're not more than just friends now. But after watching I felt really relieved and I realized all the loneliness and pain was just based on feeling like he didn't care for me anymore. But him being still friends with me shows he still cares. And even if tonight he's going out with some friends, that doesn't mean he forgot me or he doesn't care for me anymore.
You made me see this and I'm so thankful for this video, you've helped me a lot!
Oh, and your voice was very relaxing, just saying.
Cloe Screams. add my fb facebook.com/trang.hit.14
Amazing video and i agree. I have lived alone for 10 years & i have loved every minute of it, cos i don't think about "what if I were in a relationship" No. Just embrace & love yourself, then you'll never feel loneliness.
Thank you for sharing with everyone Brian
Everyone always tells me that I can still be just as happy and fulfilled without being in a relationship, but I can't. I've tried everything. It makes me angry even, because they are the people who have somebody who loves them, or wants to be around them. No matter what I do, nothing changes. It hurts so much being this lonely, and no one seems to notice, and no one wants to help, even if I beg for it. When I am in a relationship, I do not feel like this. I feel happy. I just want that back, but nothing I do ever changes it. And seeing everyone around me experiencing that happiness, while I'm stuck feeling this hopeless, hurts so much. I don't know what to do.
I feel the exact same , I'm up crying right now , and I can't help it , people are always saying its gonna be ok but they dont understand at all .. Because they have some one .. I hate depending on people for my happiness 😪
Hi. I have been feeling lonely since I moved to my husband's country 8 years ago. I felt this way since I don't have any friends or family here. I realized your video makes so much sense. I am actually going to write down not just the judgements I have about my husband, but about myself as well. Thanks a lot for your video :)
I'm 22 I've never had a girlfriend or met a girl that liked me, it sucks but I'd rather have a friend, just 1 friend you know, why can't I have just 1 friend :(
Completely agree I have severe depression and I've heard things like this from other people extremely helpful. Just know that you effect people more than you know.
Ty C Glad you found it helpful Ty, thanks for sharing
im single and im probably never going to have a partner again.my friends just insult me everyday and i just feel like no one has my back
RangelGaming you are not alone :)
RangelArts If they insult you everyday they are not your frienss. Real Friends would not do that.
Throughout my years, I keep coming back when I feel lost, and you always have a video that is perfect for my problem.
i'm lonely but i have social anxiety disorder! i want friends but i can't talk to people :(
You don't have to be smart to talk to people, friendships may seem fun, but they are not important as much in life than a job is, a job keeps you busy and moving, more is said about jobs in the media than friendships. You could goto work and meet people that way..or watch a film in the cinema or visit a restaurant...just be careful...friends are not whom you could always trust..
Shaan Awaz
Thanks for the advice
Well good luck, hope you do find some friends that you can trust, be very alert that way you can tell if your dealing with a honest, polite, trustworthy person, You can choose to be on your own or isolated, but it's not advisable due to the fact that there are lots of insane druggies, everywhere and being on your own all the time could make you vulnerable or unsafe, you just don't know when you maybe approached by one, to be safe in today's world you do need friends to look after you and keep you safe, being on your own wherever you go, is never safe, so I am advising you should kill off time, and go and make friends that you can trust or rely, you don't want to make friends with backstabbers, as they may just ignore you, or not look after you well..well good luck and I hope you do meet your expectations..
I suffer with that too, sometimes I use marijuana to cope socially
*****
friends are better than drugs. maybe you should talk to someone and be done with the drugs?
Going through a very difficult time in life right now and I just wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU. Thank you for wanting to help others. Thank you for being YOU. I am truly grateful for your words. I feel like this video was made specifically for my situation. Again, thank you.
Dsjmnz You're very welcome
what is love? the absence of judgment. Dalhi Lama
His voice and calm tone calms me and helps me not think of my ex and my real gf that i miss i was crying hard and now i feel like i can go for a hike thx Noah
facing the computer all day at work due to my job type ... then going back to home sitting in my room till I fall asleep ... our city closes at 7 pm except bars which is the only social life here and I dont go to.... and when the weekend comes i keep wondering what to do ... I would be lucky if i spoke to someone face to face for more than 10 mins in a day...
I know how you feel I've just moved to a new city after living abroad , I don't know anyone and am not close with family all I see is families and couples and groups of friends around me whilst I walk about alone, but I'm getting used to it now, things will change but we have to be brave and make an effort to meet people by our own interests
Have been trying to cope with feelings of loneliness and emptiness my entire life. This video really helps, thanks Noah :)
What advise would you give too someone who hasn't had a single friend for over two years because the small city you live in is full of people who dislike you?
It's like a muslim in a jewish town
Love to relate but I don't hate Muslims, see where your coming from though, although Muslims have each other. Big families an all of that
+Dpk9t5 hey, can you tell me how old you are?
It dont matter how small a city you live in or how large....we all experience loneliness. So Listen again to what this guy is saying about loneliness. You and I are creating our loneliness because we dont feel good enough about ourselves. If You live in a small town that does not like you and you have no way of getting out of that town, You will have to begin to accept yourself. And that is a difficult thing to do. Dont think this will happen overnight for you. You will have to PUSH to love yourself because everybody else is telling you that you are "not right"....You are unlovable. And you are accepting those thoughts from other people.
This is the best advice ever, for anyone, anywhere. Life-changing. Thank you, Noah.
Thoughts are responsible for unhappiness/ loneliness ...... long term isolation is a chronic breeding ground for this ...... Too much time to think and dwell on things ..... it's a vicious circle, or spiral.
True a lot of this thinking and loneliness comes to me at bed time I can't fall asleep that fast so I always end up thinking about crap like this I fucking hate being alone :(
dmitri cochrane i do too :( im scared to sleep because the loneliness almost feel tangible and gripping, its a scary thought to know even when youre with people you feel like your trillions of light years away from all of them in another unknown lonely planet, where the population is 1: You.. I even have had dreams where Im running around trying to find at least one person in the entire planet....
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond That's why drink and do drugs. I just want to stop thinking.
You're welcome Milos! I'm glad that it helped you to see that your thoughts create feelings.
I'm always lonely and that's how it gonna be like forever...
When you say "always" it exacerbates the feeling. But is that true?
Noah, for the most part, I understand what you are conveying in this video. My situation is that I do not desire relationship for the purpose of needing happiness or the need to feel complete. I'm mature enough to know that those feelings come from within. My desire for relationship is simply to experience that feeling of intimate connection, I'm not speaking simply from a physical standpoint, though that is certainly a part of it.
I've had to deal with way too many "soft-handed" rejections. Those that say,
"You're a great guy, but I'm not the one for you."
Or,
"I'm not ready for what you want, but you're going to make someone really happy."
The list goes on and on. This is not just a once in a while happening, rather this occurs REGULARLY. After a while, one tends to wonder what it is that's wrong with him/her that they cannot attain pure, loving companionship.
What would you say about that?
Hi Brent, the 2 things you mentioned in your comment are very different. Wanting an intimate connection with someone is completely fine. But, that in and of itself, doesn't create loneliness. Loneliness is created by believing the experience of being with someone is "better" than not being with someone. And since the only thing we care about is our own happiness, "better" means "I would be happier if I had it". This thought is very subtle, but if there is loneliness, then this thought is there.
As for the comments people say to you when they break up with you, I address those issues in my video about "how to heal a broken heart".
Good luck Brent!
"In my incompleteness of being lonely, feeling depressed , wanting. to be loved , I am truly complete" :)
Fadi Daban :)
Thank you this really helped me put things into the right perspective. Our minds are very powerful sometime we all need coaching on how to change our thought patterns
Thank you for this.. I feel like a loser because I am struggling with life at the moment.. Trying to get my shit together so my 30's are not a waste.
At least you made it to your 30s I'm 15 and feel like giving up already
dmitri cochrane I may have made it to my 30's but I have been very unhappy with life and within.. I have wasted my life hating life.
I feel ya there. I'm in my mid 30's and lost everything in the last couple years of my 20's due to wasting my life on sex, drugs, and rock and roll. At this point I'm just trying to do enough with my 30's to make my 40's enjoyable.
Jon Watts I wish you all the best on your journey.. I hope you get to where you want to be in life.. It's always good when we hear of other people who have struggled in life make it to where they are happy.. Take care.. :)
Thanks Betty. Best of luck to you as well.
Bravo Noah! Excellent video, excellent counseling insights! I applaud you for the time and effort you have put into providing these "free" videos which help people who are suffering and in pain due to hurt emotions and faulty inner thoughts. God bless you!
You're very welcome Justine. I'm happy to be of service
I think that the main problem is that we "the loners" have great expectations about other people. Sadly, expectations are in our minds only.
Big Facts!!! We will overcome and obtain happiness
The tone of your voice is enough to make me feel better. You're great. Keep it up.
I struggle with anxiety, trauma, & depression & I do go to therapy. But...i do feel kinda lonely at times cause everyone on my family is quite busy with there lives, I just wish they'd make time for me.
What I have found is that I must make time for MYSELF. I must learn to be selfish. Sometimes I go over board on selfishness. But it is necessary for me to be so selfish. Then later I learn to balance that thing out. O belive me when you begin to be selfish, there will be a lot of pushback. For Me I gotta get real mad at my situation to go that far. So Anger in some ways become a tool for me to ignore the push back. Afterwards I learn to balance that anger. But at least the anger and the power that comes from it PUSHES me to be more confident in myself. I make sure my anger does not hurt other people, I just make sure my anger is used to overcome powerlessness, defeat and all the other negative words I have previously used on myself. I use that anger to become powerful in a good way.
I hear ya, I know what you mean
I wrote the exact comment about my families being busy with their own lives and they just forget about me, not knowing that I live anymore. They just straight up forgets that I need food, I need education and care. I feel insecure about myself too. That people would judge me that I don't know my hobby, my own family, etc. I don't know how to feel about this situation.
Hi bloodlosswithasmile, thank you for sharing. I'm glad to hear that this video made things more clear for you.
I'm not sure you have really underlined the feeling of loneliness...it's not about other people being around you at all......it's more about feeling disconnected from everything.......the loneliness you are describing is a selfish and superficial one.......and is light years away from what people who feel real loneliness feel.....
Mehmet Sinan Hi Mehmet, I'm sorry if my video wasn't clear for you, but I am talking about feeling disconnected and empty regardless of whether you are with people or not.
I understand. However the term "loneliness" in the clinical sense is a much broader condition that many people suffer from regardless of their social success. Robin Williams was one of these people I believe.
If people have issues not being able to connect with others socially it should be dealt with under a different subject. Wouldn't you agree....
Mehmet Sinan I agree. Good idea. I will make a video about that.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come across as condescending. But the video seemed superficial in comparison to the topic name. Being diagnosed myself with depression as a result of suffering from loneliness (in the actual sense) it is quite close to the heart....so to speak.
Thank you for taking time to discuss this. And I appreciate your intent and interest. I wish you all the best in your endeavours.
I agree..look up pathological loneliness..Its an unbearable pain that comes from a relationship ending and the reason why we jump from one relationship to the next..
Thank you, thank you so much to encourage me, encourage us to keep going. Your enshrinement speech made me not to be lonely, from bottom of my heart, I genuinely appreciate it.
Missing people you care about very much creates loneliness. Especially when there is nothing you can do to see them again. ;~;
Amanda Russell "Missing" only exists as a thought
Not really
Amanda Russell read his disclaimer.
I legitimately felt myself feeling less lonely as this video progressed. you're wonderful, thanks for this! (:
When I was single I was usually happy, I talked with my friends allot and we had fun, we'd do things together and my life was just happy, I never had a depression.
Then I met a girl, me and that girl ended up having a 4 month relationship and, it was all happy in the first months. I felt loved and without any doubts she felt loved aswell, I tried to be the best boyfriend I could be but yet, after some months, I started feeling depressed. I grew bored of everything, my friends, my activities and even my own girlfriend. She grew bored of me aswell which just caused the depression to get worse by a large scale. I felt lonely so much because she didn't show any love torwards me at all. We had frequent discussions and I'd just isolate myself from everyone. Eventually I found out she was cheating on me with a friend of mine, yet I just continued dating her because I was scared of being single, because it would make me feel even more lonely than I am right now. 1 month after discovering this I decided it was time to break up with her, and she didn't seem sad at all. How do I deal with this..?
ThePurpleguy123 Try watching my how to deal with a break-up playlist.
Acceptance is the key. Let her go. Work on yourself. Someone better is coming.
You are Amazing! I was feeling pretty lonely this evening... Trying to figure out how to deal with it. So I looked up TH-cam Videos on Loneliness. I am very analytical and the way you verbalized the thought pattern was fantastic. I am single... Thinking "It would be so nice if I just had someone". You video made me look back on my life... And you are right. There were many many times I was in a lonely or toxic relationship that I felt even lonelier. I have so many people around me that love me and I would rather be alone (not lonely) than be in a relationship and be lonely. I believe (similar to what you said)... An idle mind can produce unrealistic thoughts that are not realistic and even make you act on those thoughts. I'm going to finish my evening with gratitude, uplifting music... Oh and the next episode of Walking Dead LOL! Thanks again so much. I'm watching all your videos
How do I deal with having friends that are involved and that show interest in certain topics that I dislike?
How do I deal with the extreme desire of having a girlfriend? So to speak...
P.S. both of the statements do contribute to my depression/loneliness
This is how it is for me... I wish I knew
Me too bro...
I can absolutely realste to that bro... I am going though the same desire..
I just want to cry because this is so beautiful, your voice is so soothing thank you so much.
I'm lonely because my best friend died ten years ago and I have nothing in common with the people in my environment.
Change your environment.
Senait Ashenafi i m very sorry for your loss.
"Happiness is what remains when we lose the thoughts that make us unhappy"
Thank you. Ive been so depressed, this was the only thing I needed to hear.
Jeric Gambon I'm glad to hear that Jeric. You're welcome
BRO. I know all the causes of my loneliness, one major is that being the only child is hella boring, and the list goes on. I understand all whats happening but its the fact that Im always alone everyday after school, I go up in my room and most of the time I act lazy just because I have no one to play with, talk with, etc and I think its just pointless sometimes playing video games by myself
Hi Jom, that loneliness is created by something different than I am talking about in this video. I will try to make a video about that in the future.
In the meantime, you might want to look to join school clubs or something like that.
"Happiness remains when you lose the thoughts that make you unhappy" - When you said that I felt relief!
I have social anxiety & I feel lonely at the same time! :(
Oh my god thank you so much for posting these videos. I recently went through a terrible break up and your videos make me feel a LOT better, so thank you!
I feel bad for you hope you recover
"You're not missing out on anything."
If I were to die in my room right now, nobody would notice for weeks, maybe months. I have no friends. Of course I am missing out on something. I appreciate your help but really, I feel that this video will not help people who are genuinely lonely.
I will be your friend...so your not lonely.
I know what you mean. I understand (and appreciate) the message in this video, but genuine loneliness is a little bit more complicated than this, and is more of a serious issue. What he doesn't talk about is the anxiety that comes from the difficulty with making connections, the isolation of feeling unappreciated or misunderstood. The problems with self confidence and self esteem that come from being alone all the time - all of these things can make loneliness feel like we're trapped in a deep, dark hole under the ground, while life is continuing without us on the surface.
Just want to say, you're a great person :) It's awesome also that you actually answer people's questions and stuff in the comments. Keep up the good work!!!
It's my pleasure Zachary
Best vid ever
MRminecraft455 Thanks
Noah Elkrief you were blessed with the looks most men wish they had so im sure you don't even know what the hell loneliness even is.
Alas, why is this video about relationships ? What about just aloneness in itself (being alone).
I was crying I saw the whole video and I felt better wiped my tears and not sad anymore thank you so much Im going to come back to this video when I feel lonely again so please dont delete it ❤️ thanks again
well its not that i want to feel loved i want someone to just kiss me on my forehead
+Alyssa Hawk mwah :-x right on your forehead :-)
I listed to the single portion of your video about 2 weeks ago, and I realized, I wasn't thinking about being alone, and I realized I didn't feel alone whatsoever, this worked so well for me! Thank you so mush
Awesome John!
I met 3 women this year. All of them I dated for max 4 weeks. I held hands with them, kissed and cuddled them, but after a while they just cut me loose. I didn't get it. I'm 18, they were the same age. After each, "dumping" I felt worse and worse. Just a few days ago, the latest dumping happened and I'm devastated again. I feel really lonely and unwanted. I feel like I have no character and I can't attract other people. At school, I just have casual friends that I chat with only there. Not outside school. But I have 3-5 really good friends that I am almost every weekend with and can talk with. I also play football(soccer) in a highly competitive team(My name is on the newspaper almost every week when I score a goal etc.) but the team mates aren't my friends outside the pitch either. I just want to be charismatic and loved. But I can't seem to do it. I'm a bit socially awkward and shy. I feel uncomfortable being myself with other people(especially new people) and I'm sometimes paranoid that people are talking trash about me behind my back. I'm so sad and not content. I want help but I don't know what's exactly going on and how should I seek it. I feel like these bad feelings grew exponentially when those 3 girls rejected me... I felt so good with them
mrroo96 Hey mrroo, I'm sorry that you've been struggling. Try watching my broken heart video, and my social anxiety video. They will help you to make some sense of it.Its not that you're not charismatic, it's that you just believe thoughts that make you feel worried about their opinions, which make you nervous and not free to be yourself.
Thanks Noah. This video helped me a lot and made me evaluate my judgement, i cry about this thoughts and now that i have taken a new perspective on my life, which made me realized you're right . its the thought that made me lonely. Now i'm able to see happiness in every situation.
I feel lonely because I only have 1 friend but she's at another school
+Dark W Omg je bent nederlands eindelijk iemand die me zal begrijpen. Ik heb echt een vriend/vriendin nodig...
Same that's what I'm going through
Loneliness is something bad that people create under bad circumstances and they feel weak and searching for another person to share their pain that is bothering.:)
The best way to overcome this is to find happiness in different activities.
My cure is going for fishing and being in nature.
I love to see couples in the park with smiles , that makes me happy.
World is too negative to create more negative waves.
Just see or try seeing positive in everything around you.
Make the world a better place!
Love you all and have a nice day!
I hate my life nobody love me
We were taught by our parents, our teachers, and society that you should be in a relationship and that a relationship is the key to happiness. So of course we are going to believe them. It does not make you a fool. But, you are right in that you have been looking for someone to improve your opinion of yourself. But no matter how much anyone loves you, they can't make you love yourself. To love yourself, directly address the thoughts that keep you from loving yourself.