“just because your smiling on the outside, doesn’t mean you feel the same way on the inside” that’s literally what all daughters go through at least once in a lifetime. You can never truly tell who is happy or sad
And the bully at school too...i get bullied when i was in grade school and it was no hurtful but sometimes their words is just hurt me i'm fine by physical pain but mentally no i Don't know how or why but i love the pain when they punch My face or kick My neck and it just hurt little then My mind is it weird? Cause i Wanna cry but i cant but then when they Said One most the word that i Don't want to hear and thats make me burst out crying infront of them and they laugh at me i'm Still laughing but not the same
Thank you for this I am going through something like this video and I am happy that this video is giving the chance for people to see all the things most girls need to go through
exactly bro like me and my mom had a huge fight once and i said “ this is why i dont feel loved” and then shes always like “ you dont feel loved? yeah right i pay for everything and i do so muxh for you” and im just over here silent after that just thinking about how she treats me like im her servant and expects me to be this perfect skinny lady like girl and be smart and like her when all i do is treat her well and do what im supposed to and never receive amytjing in return Edit:Omg thank you for all of the likes💗💗💗
It's harder when you eventually give up and do it.. then you feel lost and think "it can't be any worse... right..?" Even tho you already know it can, and most likely will now that the first step has been taken.
From the moment I got a younger sibling to the moment I die. Your telling me that I have to babysit a brother that’s only three years younger than me till the day I die.😐 Just for some context I’m 19 and he’s 16.
damn. I cried harder than I wanted to. I had a younger brother at 11, and he was left to sleep as a baby in my room (although several others were free) so that I would get up at night and calm him down. I didn't sleep at night, getting up to him, in the afternoon in the fourth grade of school, crying in the middle of the day because I was tired. When there were holidays, they threw all the household chores at me, and blamed me when I didn't do them. I was raised to be the perfect housewife. Now I'm 20, I don't want anything. I still love my younger brothers, but I am full of indifference and anger towards my parents. Do not weigh parental responsibilities on older children. They are still YOUR children, not someone else's free labor. p.s: so okay, this comment has attracted a lot of attention! Many people have shared a similar situation, and I sincerely feel sorry for them. And, I would like to explain a couple of points: I love my brothers, they are very funny, and full of childish love, for this I adore them; I understand the position of parents, and the possible method of education "so that it will be easier for you with your children later!", I can understand it. BUT, instead of meetings with friends, I was never left with my brothers, and they did not ask for an opinion whether I could \ want to live like this. This has been happening for 10 years, under the pressure of moments, I came to terms with it, but this video woke me up. I made it clear that I was just convenient for them. They can go to work, go about their business, and I perform the role of a servant. I am very angry with myself that I have allowed myself to live like this too much, and it is difficult to break out of this circle without pain. In general, I love my brothers, respect my parents, but I want my life back. That's it, I don't know how soon I'll break out, but I just shared my pain, like others here
What the fuck???? You were 11...... They were the adults.... They should not have dump that responsibility on you. Like the hell. I am delayed in maturity as an adult and even I know not to dump responsibility on the older kid.
@ShymmyShimmyAyShimmyAyShimmyAh unwanted touch is sa. Sa isn't just about 🍇 it's about being assaulted it touched in ways you didn't want or forced. If someone touched you in a sexual manner without your consent, then yes.
I’m a oldest too and I always get blamed for everything and always have lots of responsibilities and have to do house chores and a lot more it’s like I’m not a daughter anymore it’s like I’m a maid and I literally hate it in my religions girls have to be raised to be good housewife’s but yea I have to suck it up.
My mother did this to me. This brings back so many horrible memories. She seemed to forget I was a human too. I was just a servant for my precious sister.
I have a four year old, and I am so glad I saw this video. I will make sure she enjoys her childhood and we don't put unnecessary restrictions on her. thank you for sharing this!!!
This made me cry. I’m the oldest kid and only daughter of a Korean pastor, and in Korean churches, the expectation for the pastor and his wife to be constantly working is high, so I got to take care of my brother starting from age 9 or 10. I was also offered as a babysitter for church members by my parents and was forced to, even when I had plans.
Thats absolutely horrific! Its telling how your parents didnt even care how you felt. Most of the people in the comments have been absolutely neglected..
omg same, even though my family weren't pastors. But this happened to me, too. And on top of it all, I wasn't even allowed to charge a fair rate for the babysitting jobs my mom got me. She'd tell me how rude it was to charge more than $1.50/hr when all the other girls were getting $5/hr. To this day, I still can't fathom how anyone would let an 11 year old babysit. You're literally letting a child watch your children. I'm a mom now and I just can't comprehend how this was ok when I was a kid. I was barely legal to even stay home by myself at that age.
As the daughter that matured way too early (at the age of 11) I can relate to this alot. I always had so many responsibilities and was the therapist and the one who took care of everyones problems. I get judged for being moody and I'm scared to say no so I stress 24/7.
See this is why our age really needs to stop tearing each other down. Look around we all grew up with similar situations. This girl posted my exact life and that is initially why we are the way we are. We all need to recognize it in ourselves and each other. We are all beautiful beings with endless struggles. Let's build each other and not feel alone because of things that happened to us out of our control.
I don't know but for me it's a normal things in my whole big family to do so or they'll never acknowledge you, they are ELDERS. "You have to bow down your head to the ground in order to respect them. They know the best." That was what they say to me from the very first time. But nah, i'll keep quiet for now and who knows for later 🥰
This made me tear up. I pretty much raised my little brother until I was kicked out of the house (I was 13) I did everything, dishes, laundry, sweep/mop, take care of animals and sibling, pick up after my parents, cooked meals for me and my brother. I worked my ass off in school to get straight a’s so I wouldn’t get screamed at or hurt by my mom. I wasn’t allowed to hangout with friends or have social media. I’m now living with my dad and I’m 16, I’ve been suffering with anxiety, depression, and PTSD since I was 10. Not to mention all the others forms of abuse I endured. Im stronger and happier now but I still struggle. Im proud of where I am now.
@@D_vona I send so much love to you to heal and not let that affect you ❤️, I do understand I’ve been sexually assaulted 5 times and most were my neighbors people I thought I could trust
I was told that I would never be respected until I had kids. I'm pregnant now and I have let my voice be heard and no one can stop me. I was a mother for a long time to a family who only saw me as less than. Now I'm going to raise a family who will see me as worthy of love
Congrats but like having kids to get respect!? Imagine if you got graped and got pregnant I am damn sure they will disown you but congrats and no hate 😢
Sometimes it feels like I do more things than my mom. She always tells me to do the laundry, cook dinner, take care of the dogs, and do everything around the house and all she needs to do is work, and then she gets to relax.. even when I’m injured I don’t get to relax.. im always told “its just growing pains” or “it’s just shin splints”. I sprained my ankle last year in a soccer tournament and she said “walk it off” I don’t get 2 minutes of relaxing. thanks for making this girl❤
Boys do this same exact thing, this happens to everyone, unless their mom isn't too lazy to actually pay attention to their children and actually help with some stuff then those people don't go through it, but that's rare
My mother was a single mother, meaning single provider. She was exhausted, overworked, and had to come home to care for us. Yes, as the oldest, I was made to do all these things but I understood that my mother was shouldering on one a job for two. And I truly understand it more now that I am a mother.
I had a similar experience, but once the step-dad was in the picture I shouldn't have had to continue. Not to mention after step-dad was in the picture I would get screamed at for parenting, then for not parenting them and repeat. it was horrid.
I try to stay in my room as much as possible, because every single time i go out my dad starts talking that anything i do isn't enough and no man will want me. Guess who is gay
This makes me appreciate my parents ,they give me support,love,education everything Ofc sometimes they annoy me and say be a good and perfect house wife otherwise no one would want me ,but they love me for who I am and don’t force me to change for who I am
I can definitely relate to this. My kids, both boys, had chores… but it was their dad and my responsibility to maintain the household. I didn’t want treat my kids that way. By the 8th grade, I did most of the cooking, the cleaning, was expected to get good grades (I knew that school was my way out), constantly got told I wasn’t doing anything good enough, etc etc. I would verbalize my frustration, and then get in more trouble and would have to sit through yet another lecture about how horrible of a person I was…..
This sounds just like me. My mom tells me I do to little around the house. I been told that I am the most disrespectful person in the world to her because a graduation card I received from a relative got knocked down by my cat behind furniture and she kept blaming me and my memory. I snapped and told her I knew where I put it and to pull everything out. She yelled that at me and proceeded for 20 mins before I ran to my room. It was behind the furniture. My cat had knocked it down. I was on medication that messed with my brain and flipped my personality completely. I am always cherry and look for the positive even with a bunch of health problems. I started it and my mood was awful one thing and my day was ruin. I told my mom on the way to violin lessons and she said that I had not changed at all. I was balling to her in the car. She then flipped it into something about my sister. (My sister is the middle child and the favorite i am the youngest) I had some what calmed down but my violin teacher read my face since I tune red when I get upset. I balles to her the whole lessons. I am glad i was at the age I could contact my doctor la without my mom knowing. They took me off the medication and a week later I was normal again. Two weeks later and my mom goes “oh I guess it was messing with you”. Being the youngest for me ment growing up faster. You have two older siblings so you should know better is what my mom thought. I over heard a fight between my mom and dad one day a few years ago. My mom going on about how my dad is not proud of my sister. He said “he is and then said what about me. She does every activity they we pay for her to do and she excelle at it. She works hard to get better. She put my whole heart into it while her sister just goes to socialize never puts in the work to get better yet her sister gets more attention and money put twirls things. At least she (me) makes it more then worth the money she shows us how much she appreciates it by working hard and not asking us to buy her stuff often.” (My activities and not cheap at this time I was playing violin and golf, I still play violin but I had to give up on golf because of health problems so I can not be outside in the heat for long anymore without horrible repercussions and potentially needing to get IV fluids) I never cried more in my life. I was happy that someone saw all the effort I put into doing what I love and that I do appreciate that they pay for it. My sister gets stuff handed to her. My dad also addressed that some lessons if life come with age and not looking at your siblings failures because she was going on about how I have been “acting up”. My mom gave her around $3,000 dollars and another $1,000 in gifts for graduating college. I asked her why she was doing that and she said graduation from college is a big thing. I asked why she did not go that big when my brother graduated from a trade school because that was a big thing to and she just shrugged her shoulders. I lost a lot of respect for my mom. If I try to address anything it is I am attacking her. We where watching The Parent Test together and at one point talk about the word hate came up and my mom said she raised us to not really use the word because it is so strong and it should be a last resort word. I said she should of corrected us about the word love to because people throw that around to easily to and don’t mean it most of the time. She yelled at me for how dare you attack my parenting style. She did not talk to me for the rest of the night. I just learn I can not share stuff with her like she thinks I can. She told my dad that none of us kids share stuff with him because we are scared of his reaction but I am more scared of hers. I have a hard time figuring out what I want to do with my life because for the longest time I was told that this career does not make much/is to competitive for you by my mom and now she is all so what you want. It has already played it’s seed in my head and grew. I play mental gymnastics every time with it. She jumps the band wagon when I mention one thing and goes and tells everyone before I even make up my mind. The looks when people see I changed my mind is so awful to see every time now every time my mom mentions something every one is just do it. I can’t commit because I am to scared if it is the wrong choice because it’s not a “safe enough” of a job.
I used to be like this until I asserted my boundaries at home, I might be seen as selfish but there's only so much of me to go around. To everyone else experiencing this, I hope you find yourself in a better place someday..if this is the type of love you get, you deserve better
I cant do that unfortunately.. My brother (hes 30, im 20) starts screaming at me if i dont do what he says (most of the time "bring me food, bring me snacks, clean the kitchen, mop the floor" stuff like that) and when we get into a fight i get shamed for talking back to my brother and get labeled as disrespectful. At the end i have to shut my mouth and my brother keeps screaming at me. And even if i dont do what he says anyway, my mother does it. Yes. For her 30 YEAR OLD son. She heats up the food that she made and brings it to him. Then she blames me for making her do that as an old lady. It all comes back to me, im everyones punching bag and everybody guilt trips me. It doesn't help that im already a really emotinal and selfless person and too much of a people pleaser that i feel bad for stuff thats not even my fault to the point i cant sleep. Im becoming more bitter everyday and im just full of rage but it gets bottled because i know better than to take my anger out on my family and make them feel like shit like how they do to me. Tho, i will definetely cut contact once im out of here.
I wish i could do this but i cant each time i try to talk back to my mother she calls me disrespectful and sometimes threatens me w raising a hand on me or taking my belongings away i barely have time to sit down and do what i want or enjoy because i keep getting interrupted every 5 or 10 mins it often gets to the point of breakdowns and self harm i have no privacy cuz i have no room even tho im 18 she calls me useless and stupid, an idiot, a pig and a lot more even if i do what she asks me to i swipe and mop the floors, do the dishes, help her babysit everyday, she literally interrupts my sleep every morning to watch or hold the kid then gets mad at me and blames me if the kid get whiny and hes only 3 months old, she's constantly taking her stress out on me and then when she talks to my relatives for example my grandmother (who raised me cuz she was barely around while i was growing up) she talks shit abt me saying how i get annoyed and make faces when im doing chores or babysitting and she never mentions shit i do then if i try to talk to my relatives abt how im struggling they think im trying to make things up to appear right and take her side, and worst thing is she only acts like this w me, if she has problem w the guy she married she cant get by w this behaviour cuz he shuts her down cuz she has no authority over him i was never able to keep a friend around because of her cuz she kept constantly moving and each time id make a friend shed tell me they're a bad person cuz of their grades or how chaotic they were etc. now shes asking me why i dont make any friends shes constantly comparing me to others my age (my cousin for example who is literally on her way to become a doctor, who also has a stable family life lmao) as if i grew up like them i literally get so nervous abt everything cuz of her i constantly feel like crying and getting the urges to sh and sometimes go even further i dont really know what to do anymore im planning on getting a job but idk if ill even be able to handle it i want to save up and move out sm lmao not to mention how in the past hed raise a hand on me even if i made a slight tiny mistake when i was like 10 cuz she was stressed out and was depressed i even remember she was throwing me out the house around that time once cuz i didn't feel like doing my schoolwork she never apologised for things shed done to me then expects an apology from me if i actually disrespect her a little bit and says she doesn't want a child like me anymore
@@bobrice5159 this was clearly made by a parent because I do my chores I do what I have to do but my own mother had hurt me more than anyone else (not physically)
@@bobrice5159Stop spewing this hatred to children. Sometimes your wants don't matter as an adult, but your NEEDS- actual needs, should always take precedence.
With me its the opposite lol. My younger brother would tell people im a suck up when im forced to do anything my parents tell me to. And he also ignores the fact that i get blamed for whatever trouble he causes no matter what it is. 🙃
I'm not even the eldest yet I've gone through all of this which has turned me into a perfectionist and a huge people pleaser .I always felt I was never enough.
I definitely felt this. I was horribly neglected as a kid because my mom was always gone and my dad was abusive and a pedophile so I’m sure you can guess what happened to us little kids. To try to save my siblings from similar neglect and further harm I tried to fill that mom role for them and protect them like my siblings never did.
I don’t know what happened to you but I almost had something like that. I have a younger brother and my mom and dad were never around and my sister was always out with her friends because she was a teenager and I had to watch my little brother. When my mom moved in with her boyfriend and my siblings I was left with my dad and he was super abusive. He would lock me out in the winter for many days while i had to attend school and we hardly had any food and I started working as a babysitter and I bought food for myself because I was getting sick of eating the same food everyday but when I would make homemade food the next day my dad would eat all of it and he would always comment things like “I like your boobs let’s switch” (btw he was trans gender. From male to female) or like he would come and just smack my butt and from that I got haphephobia which means I don’t like being touched even by family members and I would tell him not to touch me but he would just say “I just want to hug you” and one time he even hugged me so thight that my breath was cut of for a good minute. I almost passed out. He would also use his money on trips and beer and he would come home super drunk and would curse me to himself and one particular day I was sleeping and he came home in the middle of the night and was yelling and then the yelling stopped. It was weird and then I heard footsteps coming to my room. I was so scared and the first thing that came to my mind was ‘is he going to kill me?’. He just went to the bathroom that was next to my room but I couldn’t sleep that night and after that night I couldn’t fall asleep before my dad and couldn’t wake up after my dad because I was scared that something could happen to me.
I’m so sorry for you too❤ I hope when y’all grow up y’all start living life the way it’s supposed to be.🥺 Are you both still experiencing this trauma though?
@@jiwookim4567 god i cant even imagine how that mustve been for u. i know that its probably been hard and even after all that harder to keep going now and deal with all that but im glad that ur still here. i dont know what ur little brother would have done without u there. u probably saved his life or protected him from so much. i know that doesnt make it okay, and it doesnt justify anything that happened but ur so strong for going through what u went through and i admire u so much and relate to a lot of what u said. i hope youre doing better now and are living a better life now. just know that no matter what happened to u u can get through it and i hope that that person who did that to u suffers greatly. because nobody deserves to be that horrible to someone and get away with it. my heart goes out to u
The period one really hits home. If im moody or just mad because of something my family did, they will make it a joke and not taken seriously. It really gives me the message that im only supposed to feel moody or angry when i have my period, and that i have to be the happy, caring patient person when im not in my period. It just sucks that you cant express your emotions freely without being mocked or made fun of :(
Exactly because if they were bleeding from down there, had cramps, headaches, or just felt like crap for a week they wouldn't be happy, caring, or patient especially if they were mocked about it.
At 5 years old, my parents had my little brother. It was my job to take care of him. I fed him and bathed him. I was up all night taking care of him. I was raised to be a housewife and at 13 years old right now, my brother is turning 8, it's free labor is what my parents did to me. I never had a chance to experywhat real childhood was like. And even now, I'm still taking care of him. Im in middle school now and I'm normally at my house doing work. People always believe I'm the happy little rich girl with the perfect family. Perfect looks, perfect family, perfect grades. Look through the black and white people.
Thank you grandparents for taking care of me and teaching me all the things I needed to survive and live without questioning myself. Because you taught me how to think and do for me.
For all the struggling young ladies in school rn, or whoever needs this, you got this, I love you, I’m proud of you, you deserve the world, and everything and everyone you desire, you DO NOT need anyone’s approval on how you look, what you eat, how you talk, or how you be you! YOU GOT THIS GIRLLIEEEEE❤❤❤
Ty! I have lots of things to do with my friendship cuz they need help with things and stuff so it's hard to get good grades, I study alot and try my best but still get told to try harder by my dad, my mum says my grades are fine just concentrate on the important things in life, but my dad tells me to do harder
My father has always treated me and mu sister like this. My sister moved out now, thankfully. I'm still in the house though, and I've basically made it my mission to make sure my two older brothers aren't like my dad. My brothers know and normalize periods, cramps, and anything else that happens to a girl, and I'm really glad that I taught them these things and how to support any girl with it if they need to.
I matured really early as an eldest daughter - I would have to look after my younger brothers when parents went out, pressured to be the best and set a lead example, overworked with house work all when I was 11. I felt this video, thank you so much for making others aware ❤
I was in 5th grade being bullied, babysitting my little brother and niece. I stayed up so many nights, but I still tried to get good grades, but I started to fail behind. I had all honors classes, and now I'm in high school getting C's and B's getting yelled at that "I'm lazy". I'm doing rotc and all honors classes because I know that's my escape out of this. I HAVE BEEN DOING SO MUCH LABOR SINCE THE 2ND GRADE. I HAD TO HELP MY FAMILY WITH ANYTHING I COULD. I'm crying so much right now writing this. I'm currently looking for a job and am still in school and busy with Rotc cus I need to save money and finish school to escape all of this labor.
I gotta wash the dishes, give my parents juice and remotes, cleaning the bathroom, babysit, and more just at 12. And when I show the tiniest bit of annoyance from doing this all, they call me an ungrateful brat and then say how “this will help you become a woman I did this too”. Finally I know I’m not alone on this
@@GoofyAhhBoxy wow, I can't believe you go through all that...I kinda go through somewhat similar things. Especially with my step-mom. My step-brother never gets in any trouble...even when he does the wrong thing and its not fair. When I do something wrong though, she gives me such a hard time and what not while my brother gets to get away with everything. He was even allowed to have a girlfriend and with me, I'm not even allowed to talk to a boy, doesnt matter who it is...she won't let me. And If She does see me, then she tells my dad. But yeah, that kind of life for me. I feel very sorry for what tour going through. Sorry its a long message 😅😅😅
I remember just being 9 and having to cook and clean (my dad was the one who forced me) while my mother was at work. All while my father is just in bed sleeping, laying there watching videos, or smoking outside. And when my mother gets back home, my dad just lies about doing everything in the house when I was the one taking care of my 6 year old brother.
@@LittleNugget143 wow, thats so sad. Im sorry you have to go through that. When I used to live with my biological mother, the was always gone at work too. So I was 7 or 8 years old having to fend for myself. Feed myself, do the chores, and take care of my pets until she got home at around 5 or 6. Not to mention, I would sometime have to walk to school too
We all have been there. And I am very grateful and happy that I have realized how much damage it has caused and now I am healing. Cheers to us who are healing our inner child.
I can relate to this, as I have an older sister with Down syndrome which meant I had to mature a lot faster, as I didn't get the attention I needed. This gave me constant remarks from others wondering why I was so mature at age 9. 😭😭
It feels weird dear like , why ? I, too, have an older brother with schizophrenia with a toxic family. So i have too much burden of being the best and take responsibility of everything at younger age.
No, you aren’t the parent and don’t go around saying that, your parents still do significantly more than you just by providing a house and the technology needed to write this comment.
@@m3lt731Just because they have the technology to write this comment doesn’t mean they don’t care for their siblings more then their parents do. Their parents may buy the food and other things, but if the older sibling who has to act as the parent isn’t there, and the parents bought electricity and food, but didn’t cook for the child, help the child clean, teach the child, or just be a parent in general then the younger siblings who aren’t able to cook, and aren’t responsible would live an unhealthy, messy life. Its not the child’s fault for not being responsible. Just because their parents pay for those things doesn’t mean they aren’t neglecting their kids. When people go to jail because their child is starving, but they have food and the parents don’t feed them, does this mean the parents shouldn’t go to jail? If you picture a family, with an older sibling, then picture the same family without the older sibling, but the parents are still doing the same amount, would the other siblings still be cared for properly? You don’t know everyone’s living conditions, or how they’re treated.
Being a tomboy, I never particularly liked wearing makeup or wearing cold shoulder shirts, but I was told “sit like a lady” a few times in the past or have my mom tease me about guys bullying me because they “liked me” or tease about “romantic interests now, I know this isn’t NEARLY as bad as most girls have it if they aren’t a tomboy like me, so sending hugs to all the pressured daughters out there, and just know your efforts are always enough 🫶
@@volcanicowlsong7322 Same, for her things are different becz her parents/mother/ father must be good towards her and treat her nicely And things will not change if you are tomboy or girly girl ( for example - washing dishes , helping in household work , being servent for family , taking care of your siblings *these things/work doesn't matter towards your style like If I am tomboy I don't have to these thing but if I am a girly type girl I have to do these things* ) I am likely to wear mix of both but in mine my parents don't treat me like labour yah everyday I help my mother in her household work but i am not labour In my family I am oldest I have two younger brother but still i am the one who gets what i want , it also me who gets money when I wanted but not my brother, they also get sometime but not everytime like me , I have my own phone they don't * So its my parents who are not making me labour not my dressing style 😅 *
Too relatable. I’m the middle child in the family and the first female as well. I deal with that 24-7 however I don’t even care anymore. I know dang well if I try to be the person my parents want me to be it will lead me to be even more stressed out then ever.
I am so glad there is content like this and young women are learning to assert themselves. I am an old lady who was the mother to a younger sibling and household servant who was kept so busy and was afraid of whatever abuse would be received if anything I did was less than perfect. I recognize now that my own mother had mental health issues but that doesn’t mitigate the damage done.
Extrenely grateful that I have parents who understand me. Never demanded anything from me. Now, I like to take care of my family just out of pure love, not demands. If I had been forced to act as a parent, I might have turned out differently. Though as the eldest daughter I do somwtimes get thrown some responsibilities, I dont really care cuz I get appreciation.
“It’s not an act of love if you make her” My father used to have me say “thanks dad you’re the best dad ever nobodies better than you” I don’t think I ever said it unprompted
Fuck, yk a small story time So my parents are divorced and I have a step dad (which I call dad) because he is AMAZING, he has been more than a father to me than my actual father, because of the ways he treats me, my mum and my bro. And one day my bio father discovered my step dad and I going to the store and my bio father said that we couldn’t love my step dad as much as we love our bio father because he doesn’t pay school 💀?! Like tf bro? Not everything is about money And I do love my bio dad, of course since I’m raised and obligated to love him, I appreciate him, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my step that as my father figure yk?
Omg this actually made me cry because I went through all of this it was so bad.People need to know just because your smiling on the outside doesn’t mean you’re smiling on the inside
Bro I relate most to the bra thing.. it is really sad because I have trauma from when I was younger and my mom AND DAD would have to CHECK if I was wearing a bra. It was terrible. I relate to almost everything you post too much and it is heartwarming to see it isn’t just me. Thank you❤
Bro how is that trauma? They are checking if you have clothes on maybe they don't trust you and think that you would send some disgusting stuff to other boys. That's not trauma that's just checking up on you or maybe trust issues which could've been easily solved. Stop being a attention seeker.
wow that really upsetting im so sorry u had to go through that 😢😢. in my house i always wear a bra bcus my mom and dad will make comments abt me if i dont, so i dont want that so i’ll just be uncomfortable 🤷♀️
"Just because you see a smile, doesn't mean you know what's going on underneath. A smile is a valurable tool my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing and no matter what you do, you're the one in control" Yeah, I saw the comment who posted something similar but I really wanted to share this. And well, I have to help at home but not that much all the time. I'm sorry for all the poor girls here who had a terriboe childhood and were treated as servants and such 💔 I really hope all this suffering will soon end for you
This is why women get their own month because that month is to represent women’s freedom and calibrating the things that women got that they never have and the fact that guys say they have it tough
Its really annoying when men say its not fair if they dont have their own month too, when womens sufferage hasnt even ended yet. Plus the thing you just said.
Men also have to go through a lot, like : Not being able to cry/express emotion due to fear of being called a crybaby or not masculine, expected to hold the door and pay the check, being called a predator though doing nothing. And we cant forget the woman that decided to try out being a man for a year to see what it was like and ended up KILLING HERSELF after.
While men have it hard too - taking away from what women have worked for isnt going to help your or our problems. I remember making a post trying to help women with their sexual confidence and how to not let the negative things men say about their sexuality affct them and then I had one guy whine saying "why wasnt I doing one for men" ....because im not a fucking man. I had another one try to invalidate my point saying that women are actually not valuable because they are always wanted. I see a lot of men trying to either invalide the effort women are putting in to make the world better for us, or putting more weight onto us by trying to do what we're doing but for men too. That's your guys job. You need to put in the effort to make it safe for your guys to express your feelings. There are women out here who are perfectly okay with splitting checks - im one of them. Just like how I had to accept that there are men who wont respect or understand me, but there are those who do despite being in the minority atm and I just have to find them...its not much different for yall. I care about mens health, but its hard to advocate for them when they dont put in the effort to understand how hard women have it as well and instead wanna paint us a "priviledged". Many women have attempted suicide, the suicide attempts in women are three times more than men. Both sexes mental health are valid, but it dissapoints me seeing men constantly bring up "male suicide rates" when not only women but, LGBT members, neurodivergent, and other groups have been strugging with suicide so much longer but they dont seem to care much about that.
@luciferia.1313 Thank you for clearing that up. I am so sick and tired of men twisting facts to appear as the victim..... May she rest in peace...but see? Men only care because it had something that benefited them in some way. Many women attempt suicide for things like abuse and slut shaming but when its that they go "they should have known better"....
@@pandawithachainsaw9482men use to it was June because June used to be men's mental health month but then they changed it for the lgbtq community which is dumb I'm sorry they should've picked a different month
I remember being yelled at because I fell asleep after my dad woke me up at 5:30 am to watch my 1yr old sister because my mom had to go to work and he didn't want to wake up. So he set me in the room with her, me being 7, and told me to not let her fall off the bed. Not only that, but I had to make sure my other siblings didn't wake up as well. Then I was up in the middle of the night when they had nightmares because both my dad and mom would just yell at them to shut up instead of trying to find out what's wrong. And my baby sister had vivid nightmares so until she was 8, she'd wake up completely scared and unable to talk sometimes. So I could only shush her to sleep and try not to fall asleep while she slept just in case she slips into another nightmare Then still had to get up every single day to go to school and I couldn't miss a day no matter how sick or tired I was, reminding you my dad constantly let my other siblings stay home, til this day. And don't forget I started dropping off and picking up my siblings on the bus in 3rd grade. Now this wouldn't be bad except I had to get their kids up And dressed while I could barely button my shirt correctly. And lie to the bus driver about loosing my money when they didn't have any money because they were using most of it for drinking, which my dad still does today. Not to also mention: My mom is bipolar and has been diagnosed but refuses to take medicine. My dad is also bipolar but he's also all around manipulative and has been gaslighting me since six that this was all normal. They don't make the actual oldest, my half sister who now only comes around when she needs something, do any of this because "she was going through a death" Her father died when she was 2. She's 6yrs older then me. Remember that part. Anyway, yeah. I will never make my kids grow up as fast I did.
@@FluffyEclairs I want to but they'll still have my siblings years after I leave. I'm gonna have to be around them sometimes but other than that, I definitely will
As the youngest brother with an older sister, just know that all you guys are awesome! Edit:Guys its not that deep, I hate my sister sometimes. Edit 2: Can you guys stop saying this like 'as' or 'your so sweet' its kinda creeping me out
I really appreciate you did this to raise awareness because as the oldest girl of 8 full siblings I can relate a lot and having my dad work full time and my mom always pressuring me to do a lot because “I’m the oldest and I should have to do everything sense I’m in a big family” and when I do complain I’m “lazy” “back talking” “rude” “selfish” or they ignore me etc. This really touched me and helped me realize I’m not the only one and others know what I’m going through
I had to get my little sister off the steps going down stares and she was standing there crying so hard she was as red as a cherry. Thank you for spreading awareness for people like us who now have to suffer with the trauma.
As an 11 year old, I can say I’m great fully blessed to have a calm, fun household where my few chores are to bring things to them and let the dog in/ out throughout the day and feed him in the morning; I also have to put my washing away. I am extremely grateful for my iPad, 3rd iPhone, computer, tv, switch and PlayStation 3.
This is my whole life summarised. I've never progressed in life because of selfish family members. My peers have such different speech and lifestyle compared to me, my whole life.
I’m the middle child in my family and I can fully agree because whenever my family needs me it’s always to tell me to do something and/or they’re saying that I didn’t do anything in my house even though I folded blankets, cleaned the toilet, took the dog for a walk, made MYSELF food, ran around the house getting people what they needed. My parents are the main people who do this to me.
My friend isn't the oldest sibling but the oldest girl and she is treated like a second mum. She babysits, cooks and her real parents don't care for her like the other siblings ❤ they treat her like another adult
She literally explained my life as the eldest one. I hope all are loved and kudos the person who made the song and girl, you are amazing!!!! ❤ I wish we all break free from these, doing these out of love is different and I'll be ready to do!
The expectations they have for us are out of this world. As the oldest kid in our house, I was a mom to basically everyone. My mom used to come home and cry to me about her day and how stressful it was, my dad always came to me for advice and thoughts on his problems at work, I did my lil sister's hw till 8th grade cuz she was the spoiled kid and my parents would ALWAYS take her side and also I did and still do all the chores in the house. In the end, when I wanted time for myself, I was called "lazy" and "good for nothing". Also the high expectations they had for me at school, to always be a topper and never get a bad grade was cherry on top. That really made me have depression and anxiety for a long time but I'm happy that my household has changed now due to the fact that they understood I couldn't bare all that and that I was only a kid (11-12 years old) so now everyone is more responsible, which makes me pretty happy and proud cuz this took a really long time.
This video is so true.. Like I stayed with other family this summer because we moved away and I can't see my family as much and the whole time I was there I kept getting yelled at for little things like not smiling or staying in the room I was staying in too much.. I also had to clean the kitchen at night and I had a list of chores to do... My uncle showed so much favoritism to my cousin which is his niece by marriage. But my aunt had seen this and made me feel welcome at their home and I love her so much even if she is my aunt by marriage❤
"This is what my older sister goes through, so I decided to help her with cooking, babysitting, cleaning, being her therapist, helping her with boy problems, caregiving, and serving our parents, along with encouraging her with her work and fo chase her dreams. I will always be there to help through thin and thick."
This literally explains my aunt except the makeup part she takes more care of the kids than our moms do she cooks takes care of kids and my aunt literally is the best I love her so mich
I’m glad she is speaking out!! If you go through labor do not be scared to reach out. You don’t deserve that and there are tons or people that can help you ❤
As a middle child who's 12 I can agree a lot like its like I'm not a kid anymore 😢😢 like taking care of everyone My mom only tells me to do everything whenever I tell my mom to ask my brother's she's like "no your a girl your place is in a kitchen "
I feel for you. Since you are only 12 let me give you some advice as I have gained more experience with the same shit. FIRST know your place is not in kitchen. Actually no one belongs in kitchen. Everyone will have to spent time in kitchen since it helps us to meet our needs. And yeah this constant comparing you to other gender will never stop after sometime it will be too much. Remember your life is your to decide. Be what you want and dont try to prove your worth to others. They wont stop degrading you using gender stereotypes but just remember no one decides your worth other than yourself and dont waste your time talking to idiots
What the frick. Girl no, family doesnt give rights to say stuff like that. GIRLS DONT BELONG IN THE KITCHEN. They belong as CEO. Dont let you family break down on your dreams. Imagine one day your husband can say "My wife owns several properties", "My wife is a multibillionare". Keep striving girl. No kitchen can keep you in
My situation is a bit different but I do understand. When I was 6 my parents divorced because my mom was cheating on my dad. I decided to stay with my dad along with my 1 year old brother, we still visited my mom but because we didn’t have a woman in the house anymore I had to grow up quickly and take on a lot more responsibilities. My mom ended up dating my step dad and I got half sibling I now take care of all of them aswell. The sad part is I am currently 14 and my mom just now started to realize my struggles and try to “make up” for them but I don’t want to forgive her. Also while taking care of my little brother he thought everything was my fault so he blamed me and would constantly hit me and stuff. Now I have gone from an out going people pleaser to a anti social person with a lot of mental issues. So PLEASE always be kind and care for one another ❤
I've had a similar experience but I live with my mum not my dad and I don't have siblings at home. I now refuse to see my dad and his wife, it does mean I can't see my half-siblings though. I'm also 14
Your brother should not be hitting you at all even if he is a kid, his parent's really need to teach him about respect or he's going to grow up thinking violence is okay and not incredibly disrespectful.
As the youngest of my family somehow I still feel this. It’s far too hard especially since I have a huge age gap. Sometimes I find myself breaking down once I’m alone.
tbh, in my family, I have to say my dad is more respectful than my mom. My mom literally vented to my older sibling which came to the word “dying” and basically my mom after that vented in the bathroom (at 6am morning the next day) and she came back to the room with a migraine. She also doesn’t support lgbtq+ like why? And then dad does. Once he acted gay with his uncle for idk what reason I forgot😂. But anyways my dad also loves us alot and actually made tricks with us when we were younger (like having a coin in your hand then it disappears when you open your hands) he also helps when my sibling is on her period, or when we have a headache he helps us. I love my dad🥰
Why is this so true? If not as mom, then atleast as women/female my mother should understand me better, but the reality is, that my father understands me wayyy more than my mother. Infact, I'm not even able to have a normal convo with my mum, cuz we always end up arguing in the last of it. So i always remember to not start a conversation with her, i always keep my distance cuz it wouldn't be good if we start arguing again.
“just because your smiling on the outside, doesn’t mean you feel the same way on the inside”
that’s literally what all daughters go through at least once in a lifetime. You can never truly tell who is happy or sad
Yes for real
Yah 👍
And the bully at school too...i get bullied when i was in grade school and it was no hurtful but sometimes their words is just hurt me i'm fine by physical pain but mentally no i Don't know how or why but i love the pain when they punch My face or kick My neck and it just hurt little then My mind is it weird? Cause i Wanna cry but i cant but then when they Said One most the word that i Don't want to hear and thats make me burst out crying infront of them and they laugh at me i'm Still laughing but not the same
Thank you for this I am going through something like this video and I am happy that this video is giving the chance for people to see all the things most girls need to go through
@@JustAGnomeWith_1000Bookshope you are ok ❤️🩹
I think the thing that makes it the hardest is you never received that type of love and care but are expected to give it.
exactly bro like me and my mom had a huge fight once and i said “ this is why i dont feel loved” and then shes always like “ you dont feel loved? yeah right i pay for everything and i do so muxh for you” and im just over here silent after that just thinking about how she treats me like im her servant and expects me to be this perfect skinny lady like girl and be smart and like her when all i do is treat her well and do what im supposed to and never receive amytjing in return
Edit:Omg thank you for all of the likes💗💗💗
😢😢😢
It's harder when you eventually give up and do it.. then you feel lost and think "it can't be any worse... right..?" Even tho you already know it can, and most likely will now that the first step has been taken.
Yes
From the moment I got a younger sibling to the moment I die. Your telling me that I have to babysit a brother that’s only three years younger than me till the day I die.😐 Just for some context I’m 19 and he’s 16.
damn. I cried harder than I wanted to. I had a younger brother at 11, and he was left to sleep as a baby in my room (although several others were free) so that I would get up at night and calm him down. I didn't sleep at night, getting up to him, in the afternoon in the fourth grade of school, crying in the middle of the day because I was tired. When there were holidays, they threw all the household chores at me, and blamed me when I didn't do them. I was raised to be the perfect housewife. Now I'm 20, I don't want anything. I still love my younger brothers, but I am full of indifference and anger towards my parents. Do not weigh parental responsibilities on older children. They are still YOUR children, not someone else's free labor.
p.s:
so okay, this comment has attracted a lot of attention! Many people have shared a similar situation, and I sincerely feel sorry for them. And, I would like to explain a couple of points: I love my brothers, they are very funny, and full of childish love, for this I adore them; I understand the position of parents, and the possible method of education "so that it will be easier for you with your children later!", I can understand it. BUT, instead of meetings with friends, I was never left with my brothers, and they did not ask for an opinion whether I could \ want to live like this. This has been happening for 10 years, under the pressure of moments, I came to terms with it, but this video woke me up. I made it clear that I was just convenient for them. They can go to work, go about their business, and I perform the role of a servant. I am very angry with myself that I have allowed myself to live like this too much, and it is difficult to break out of this circle without pain. In general, I love my brothers, respect my parents, but I want my life back. That's it, I don't know how soon I'll break out, but I just shared my pain, like others here
What the fuck???? You were 11...... They were the adults.... They should not have dump that responsibility on you. Like the hell. I am delayed in maturity as an adult and even I know not to dump responsibility on the older kid.
Bro im the one that had to do all that but when I was around 6 or 7 years old because my sister was born when I was 5
@@Kim._.xp1 well it was not my mom it was my cousins they were mean and made me play the fool And i was 6
@@Kim._.xp1 same 🤚
@@Sturnzaee my older cousin some times also made me the fool but she is 4 years older that me
“It’s not an act of love if you make her” this line hits hard has someone who experienced SA both as a child and a young adult.
Sorry to hear that, I’ll be praying for you also no one should have to go through that ever
Is it still SA if it was just you lap?
@@ShymmyShimmyAyShimmyAyShimmyAh yes, what kind of question is that
@@Mia-tj4igis it still murder if it was an accident?
@ShymmyShimmyAyShimmyAyShimmyAh unwanted touch is sa. Sa isn't just about 🍇 it's about being assaulted it touched in ways you didn't want or forced. If someone touched you in a sexual manner without your consent, then yes.
As the oldest sister, everyone expects more from us than the other siblings. We get pressured to have to do so much responsibilities.
I'm the oldest to. And I have 6 younger siblings
I’m a oldest too and I always get blamed for everything and always have lots of responsibilities and have to do house chores and a lot more it’s like I’m not a daughter anymore it’s like I’m a maid and I literally hate it in my religions girls have to be raised to be good housewife’s but yea I have to suck it up.
And the younger sibling get to do everything we had to wait a long time to do such as dating
I feel you. I myself am the older sister.
Mhm :( I’m sorry guys, we’re all in this together ❤
My mother did this to me. This brings back so many horrible memories. She seemed to forget I was a human too. I was just a servant for my precious sister.
Oh no! I hope things have gotten better!
@@Ivy-t5z They have, thankfully. I confronted her about it and we worked out a system to stop it.
I have a four year old, and I am so glad I saw this video. I will make sure she enjoys her childhood and we don't put unnecessary restrictions on her. thank you for sharing this!!!
I wish I could be the child 😅
Also don't put your kids on the Internet it's worse than tattooing their face
I'll be praying for anyone who is going through this 🙏❤
This made me cry. I’m the oldest kid and only daughter of a Korean pastor, and in Korean churches, the expectation for the pastor and his wife to be constantly working is high, so I got to take care of my brother starting from age 9 or 10. I was also offered as a babysitter for church members by my parents and was forced to, even when I had plans.
Thats absolutely horrific! Its telling how your parents didnt even care how you felt. Most of the people in the comments have been absolutely neglected..
omg same, even though my family weren't pastors. But this happened to me, too. And on top of it all, I wasn't even allowed to charge a fair rate for the babysitting jobs my mom got me. She'd tell me how rude it was to charge more than $1.50/hr when all the other girls were getting $5/hr. To this day, I still can't fathom how anyone would let an 11 year old babysit. You're literally letting a child watch your children. I'm a mom now and I just can't comprehend how this was ok when I was a kid. I was barely legal to even stay home by myself at that age.
Oh well we have similar lives
What… does a pastor and wife DO all day? Very curious.
As the daughter that matured way too early (at the age of 11) I can relate to this alot. I always had so many responsibilities and was the therapist and the one who took care of everyones problems. I get judged for being moody and I'm scared to say no so I stress 24/7.
I feel u girl I matured at around 7-8
At…11 years old…?🥺 having all those responsibilities at that age isnt right omg :((
That's early?? I got mine at that time and my parents told me that was completely normal. Your supposed to get yours in like middle school
@@simpforchoijisu.3234 It's alright! Hopefully my life will get back together soon, even tho I'ts looking like it will in 4 years minimum
My parents gave me that responsibility at 10. They told me it’s normal but I’ve been realizing that it’s not
See this is why our age really needs to stop tearing each other down. Look around we all grew up with similar situations. This girl posted my exact life and that is initially why we are the way we are. We all need to recognize it in ourselves and each other. We are all beautiful beings with endless struggles. Let's build each other and not feel alone because of things that happened to us out of our control.
that's very true
What we should really do is stop making children into mini-parents so no one has to go through this at all
I don't know but for me it's a normal things in my whole big family to do so or they'll never acknowledge you, they are ELDERS. "You have to bow down your head to the ground in order to respect them. They know the best." That was what they say to me from the very first time.
But nah, i'll keep quiet for now and who knows for later 🥰
That's so relatable
Finally someone that understands us girls we go through a lot
Fr! And sometimes men don’t even do anything WE have to go through pain giving birth cooking working taking care pushing and what about THEM!
This made me tear up. I pretty much raised my little brother until I was kicked out of the house (I was 13) I did everything, dishes, laundry, sweep/mop, take care of animals and sibling, pick up after my parents, cooked meals for me and my brother. I worked my ass off in school to get straight a’s so I wouldn’t get screamed at or hurt by my mom. I wasn’t allowed to hangout with friends or have social media.
I’m now living with my dad and I’m 16, I’ve been suffering with anxiety, depression, and PTSD since I was 10. Not to mention all the others forms of abuse I endured. Im stronger and happier now but I still struggle. Im proud of where I am now.
I know we dont know each other but I'm proud of you for managing to get through it all❤
Same for me too.. but I got s3xually abused
@@D_vona I send so much love to you to heal and not let that affect you ❤️, I do understand I’ve been sexually assaulted 5 times and most were my neighbors people I thought I could trust
@@em-glow13 your neighbor?!
ik it prolly not much but I'm proud of u too! 💗
I was told that I would never be respected until I had kids. I'm pregnant now and I have let my voice be heard and no one can stop me. I was a mother for a long time to a family who only saw me as less than. Now I'm going to raise a family who will see me as worthy of love
Congratulations for raising a family like this. No hate ❤
Amen to this
Congratulations!!
Congrats but like having kids to get respect!? Imagine if you got graped and got pregnant I am damn sure they will disown you but congrats and no hate 😢
Congratulations! I know your kids will love ya! 😊
this hit hard. she explained my entire life.
Yes my life in a nutshell
Ikm so sorry for u :(
Same. My life is a horrible one.😞
Same
She explained my life in a better version
Sometimes it feels like I do more things than my mom. She always tells me to do the laundry, cook dinner, take care of the dogs, and do everything around the house and all she needs to do is work, and then she gets to relax.. even when I’m injured I don’t get to relax.. im always told “its just growing pains” or “it’s just shin splints”. I sprained my ankle last year in a soccer tournament and she said “walk it off” I don’t get 2 minutes of relaxing. thanks for making this girl❤
Boys do this same exact thing, this happens to everyone, unless their mom isn't too lazy to actually pay attention to their children and actually help with some stuff then those people don't go through it, but that's rare
It's all on us ..... Finally someone who truly understands our feelings...... keep going girl .... ❤
I’m sorry it’s all on you, and I hope someday that it lessens and you experience more relief.
I'm an only child I like not having siblings
Fr
I’m really sorry that you are facing pressure like that. I am here for you, and I am so sorry.
Thank you for saying that!
My mother was a single mother, meaning single provider. She was exhausted, overworked, and had to come home to care for us. Yes, as the oldest, I was made to do all these things but I understood that my mother was shouldering on one a job for two. And I truly understand it more now that I am a mother.
I had a similar experience, but once the step-dad was in the picture I shouldn't have had to continue. Not to mention after step-dad was in the picture I would get screamed at for parenting, then for not parenting them and repeat. it was horrid.
This..THIS. Is exactly what i have been going through.
You are an angel❤️❤️
Fr❤
Me to 😢
Same here
I try to stay in my room as much as possible, because every single time i go out my dad starts talking that anything i do isn't enough and no man will want me. Guess who is gay
@@EbagsAdvocateAvokadoWho’s gay is it your father?😅 or I totally understand and it’s you.
This makes me appreciate my parents ,they give me support,love,education everything Ofc sometimes they annoy me and say be a good and perfect house wife otherwise no one would want me ,but they love me for who I am and don’t force me to change for who I am
I wish we could swap places
But no one deserves to be treated like me
I mean like I am
I can definitely relate to this. My kids, both boys, had chores… but it was their dad and my responsibility to maintain the household. I didn’t want treat my kids that way. By the 8th grade, I did most of the cooking, the cleaning, was expected to get good grades (I knew that school was my way out), constantly got told I wasn’t doing anything good enough, etc etc. I would verbalize my frustration, and then get in more trouble and would have to sit through yet another lecture about how horrible of a person I was…..
This sounds just like me. My mom tells me I do to little around the house. I been told that I am the most disrespectful person in the world to her because a graduation card I received from a relative got knocked down by my cat behind furniture and she kept blaming me and my memory. I snapped and told her I knew where I put it and to pull everything out. She yelled that at me and proceeded for 20 mins before I ran to my room. It was behind the furniture. My cat had knocked it down. I was on medication that messed with my brain and flipped my personality completely. I am always cherry and look for the positive even with a bunch of health problems. I started it and my mood was awful one thing and my day was ruin. I told my mom on the way to violin lessons and she said that I had not changed at all. I was balling to her in the car. She then flipped it into something about my sister. (My sister is the middle child and the favorite i am the youngest) I had some what calmed down but my violin teacher read my face since I tune red when I get upset. I balles to her the whole lessons. I am glad i was at the age I could contact my doctor la without my mom knowing. They took me off the medication and a week later I was normal again. Two weeks later and my mom goes “oh I guess it was messing with you”. Being the youngest for me ment growing up faster. You have two older siblings so you should know better is what my mom thought. I over heard a fight between my mom and dad one day a few years ago. My mom going on about how my dad is not proud of my sister. He said “he is and then said what about me. She does every activity they we pay for her to do and she excelle at it. She works hard to get better. She put my whole heart into it while her sister just goes to socialize never puts in the work to get better yet her sister gets more attention and money put twirls things. At least she (me) makes it more then worth the money she shows us how much she appreciates it by working hard and not asking us to buy her stuff often.” (My activities and not cheap at this time I was playing violin and golf, I still play violin but I had to give up on golf because of health problems so I can not be outside in the heat for long anymore without horrible repercussions and potentially needing to get IV fluids) I never cried more in my life. I was happy that someone saw all the effort I put into doing what I love and that I do appreciate that they pay for it. My sister gets stuff handed to her. My dad also addressed that some lessons if life come with age and not looking at your siblings failures because she was going on about how I have been “acting up”. My mom gave her around $3,000 dollars and another $1,000 in gifts for graduating college. I asked her why she was doing that and she said graduation from college is a big thing. I asked why she did not go that big when my brother graduated from a trade school because that was a big thing to and she just shrugged her shoulders. I lost a lot of respect for my mom. If I try to address anything it is I am attacking her. We where watching The Parent Test together and at one point talk about the word hate came up and my mom said she raised us to not really use the word because it is so strong and it should be a last resort word. I said she should of corrected us about the word love to because people throw that around to easily to and don’t mean it most of the time. She yelled at me for how dare you attack my parenting style. She did not talk to me for the rest of the night. I just learn I can not share stuff with her like she thinks I can. She told my dad that none of us kids share stuff with him because we are scared of his reaction but I am more scared of hers. I have a hard time figuring out what I want to do with my life because for the longest time I was told that this career does not make much/is to competitive for you by my mom and now she is all so what you want. It has already played it’s seed in my head and grew. I play mental gymnastics every time with it. She jumps the band wagon when I mention one thing and goes and tells everyone before I even make up my mind. The looks when people see I changed my mind is so awful to see every time now every time my mom mentions something every one is just do it. I can’t commit because I am to scared if it is the wrong choice because it’s not a “safe enough” of a job.
@@HUZZAH-4Lifeholy crap- I’m sorry ❤
I’m currently 13 and this has been happening to me since I was about 8. It’s nice to know I’m not alone❤
Try focusing on studies it's a way out, I didn't get exceptional grades but I got decent one's so I was able to move away to go study.
Same but it had been happening to me since i was about 6
Same except for chores I somehow got outta that one.
yea same since i was about 7, but not just like little, help me do this help me do that…. full laundry, dishes, cleaning, caretaking ect
@@LeLe-ce8sf yeah, same ❤️
I used to be like this until I asserted my boundaries at home, I might be seen as selfish but there's only so much of me to go around. To everyone else experiencing this, I hope you find yourself in a better place someday..if this is the type of love you get, you deserve better
Good for you! You're very lucky to be able to assert yourself, but you grasped onto that ability and improved your own life.
Don't really care about what you think ppl talk about you, your mental health is waaay more worth than "selfishness"
Take care of yourself 👍
That's amazing! Great job, your not selfish at all just wanting others the respect your boundaries and needs
I cant do that unfortunately.. My brother (hes 30, im 20) starts screaming at me if i dont do what he says (most of the time "bring me food, bring me snacks, clean the kitchen, mop the floor" stuff like that) and when we get into a fight i get shamed for talking back to my brother and get labeled as disrespectful. At the end i have to shut my mouth and my brother keeps screaming at me. And even if i dont do what he says anyway, my mother does it. Yes. For her 30 YEAR OLD son. She heats up the food that she made and brings it to him. Then she blames me for making her do that as an old lady. It all comes back to me, im everyones punching bag and everybody guilt trips me. It doesn't help that im already a really emotinal and selfless person and too much of a people pleaser that i feel bad for stuff thats not even my fault to the point i cant sleep. Im becoming more bitter everyday and im just full of rage but it gets bottled because i know better than to take my anger out on my family and make them feel like shit like how they do to me. Tho, i will definetely cut contact once im out of here.
I wish i could do this but i cant
each time i try to talk back to my mother she calls me disrespectful and sometimes threatens me w raising a hand on me or taking my belongings away
i barely have time to sit down and do what i want or enjoy because i keep getting interrupted every 5 or 10 mins
it often gets to the point of breakdowns and self harm
i have no privacy cuz i have no room even tho im 18
she calls me useless and stupid, an idiot, a pig and a lot more even if i do what she asks me to
i swipe and mop the floors, do the dishes, help her babysit everyday, she literally interrupts my sleep every morning to watch or hold the kid then gets mad at me and blames me if the kid get whiny and hes only 3 months old, she's constantly taking her stress out on me and then when she talks to my relatives for example my grandmother (who raised me cuz she was barely around while i was growing up) she talks shit abt me saying how i get annoyed and make faces when im doing chores or babysitting and she never mentions shit i do
then if i try to talk to my relatives abt how im struggling they think im trying to make things up to appear right and take her side, and worst thing is she only acts like this w me, if she has problem w the guy she married she cant get by w this behaviour cuz he shuts her down cuz she has no authority over him
i was never able to keep a friend around because of her cuz she kept constantly moving and each time id make a friend shed tell me they're a bad person cuz of their grades or how chaotic they were etc.
now shes asking me why i dont make any friends
shes constantly comparing me to others my age (my cousin for example who is literally on her way to become a doctor, who also has a stable family life lmao) as if i grew up like them
i literally get so nervous abt everything cuz of her i constantly feel like crying and getting the urges to sh and sometimes go even further
i dont really know what to do anymore
im planning on getting a job but idk if ill even be able to handle it
i want to save up and move out sm
lmao not to mention how in the past hed raise a hand on me even if i made a slight tiny mistake when i was like 10 cuz she was stressed out and was depressed
i even remember she was throwing me out the house around that time once cuz i didn't feel like doing my schoolwork
she never apologised for things shed done to me
then expects an apology from me if i actually disrespect her a little bit and says she doesn't want a child like me anymore
I want to cry... Ppl finally understand what we go through.
I think parents forget we are sentient things with feelings and proper needs that need to be met
To a disordered parent, children are just tiny adults making decisions at their expense. 😞
I think children forget a parents job is to prepare you for adult life. Sometimes your feelings don’t matter and neither do your needs.
@@bobrice5159 this was clearly made by a parent because I do my chores I do what I have to do but my own mother had hurt me more than anyone else (not physically)
@@bobrice5159well guess what another part of their job as a parent is to be a good parent and take care of them as well
@@bobrice5159Stop spewing this hatred to children. Sometimes your wants don't matter as an adult, but your NEEDS- actual needs, should always take precedence.
This is why the oldest sister is always the favourite sibling to everyone
With me its the opposite lol. My younger brother would tell people im a suck up when im forced to do anything my parents tell me to. And he also ignores the fact that i get blamed for whatever trouble he causes no matter what it is. 🙃
@@Ramen_678 same thing for me but I have two brothers who do this cause they are twins so I got double trouble 🤦♀️
Girl how are you expressing all my struggles so perfectly . I hope you feel loved .
This is so accurate! I am literally just so lucky to have my Aunts with me. They treat me better.
I'm not even the eldest yet I've gone through all of this which has turned me into a perfectionist and a huge people pleaser .I always felt I was never enough.
Same but we are all good enough okay
same i litteraly used to be the youngest for a long time until my mom decided to have a baby when i was 8
I definitely felt this. I was horribly neglected as a kid because my mom was always gone and my dad was abusive and a pedophile so I’m sure you can guess what happened to us little kids. To try to save my siblings from similar neglect and further harm I tried to fill that mom role for them and protect them like my siblings never did.
I don’t know what happened to you but I almost had something like that. I have a younger brother and my mom and dad were never around and my sister was always out with her friends because she was a teenager and I had to watch my little brother. When my mom moved in with her boyfriend and my siblings I was left with my dad and he was super abusive. He would lock me out in the winter for many days while i had to attend school and we hardly had any food and I started working as a babysitter and I bought food for myself because I was getting sick of eating the same food everyday but when I would make homemade food the next day my dad would eat all of it and he would always comment things like “I like your boobs let’s switch” (btw he was trans gender. From male to female) or like he would come and just smack my butt and from that I got haphephobia which means I don’t like being touched even by family members and I would tell him not to touch me but he would just say “I just want to hug you” and one time he even hugged me so thight that my breath was cut of for a good minute. I almost passed out. He would also use his money on trips and beer and he would come home super drunk and would curse me to himself and one particular day I was sleeping and he came home in the middle of the night and was yelling and then the yelling stopped. It was weird and then I heard footsteps coming to my room. I was so scared and the first thing that came to my mind was ‘is he going to kill me?’. He just went to the bathroom that was next to my room but I couldn’t sleep that night and after that night I couldn’t fall asleep before my dad and couldn’t wake up after my dad because I was scared that something could happen to me.
I’m so sorry for you too❤
I hope when y’all grow up y’all start living life the way it’s supposed to be.🥺
Are you both still experiencing this trauma though?
@@That.swiftie.girl10 I only a bit but it’s better
Hey, i dont know you. But i hope that man is locked up for ages, i hope your doing better now too.
@@jiwookim4567 god i cant even imagine how that mustve been for u. i know that its probably been hard and even after all that harder to keep going now and deal with all that but im glad that ur still here. i dont know what ur little brother would have done without u there. u probably saved his life or protected him from so much. i know that doesnt make it okay, and it doesnt justify anything that happened but ur so strong for going through what u went through and i admire u so much and relate to a lot of what u said. i hope youre doing better now and are living a better life now. just know that no matter what happened to u u can get through it and i hope that that person who did that to u suffers greatly. because nobody deserves to be that horrible to someone and get away with it. my heart goes out to u
The period one really hits home. If im moody or just mad because of something my family did, they will make it a joke and not taken seriously. It really gives me the message that im only supposed to feel moody or angry when i have my period, and that i have to be the happy, caring patient person when im not in my period. It just sucks that you cant express your emotions freely without being mocked or made fun of :(
Exactly because if they were bleeding from down there, had cramps, headaches, or just felt like crap for a week they wouldn't be happy, caring, or patient especially if they were mocked about it.
throw away your family
At 5 years old, my parents had my little brother. It was my job to take care of him. I fed him and bathed him. I was up all night taking care of him. I was raised to be a housewife and at 13 years old right now, my brother is turning 8, it's free labor is what my parents did to me. I never had a chance to experywhat real childhood was like. And even now, I'm still taking care of him. Im in middle school now and I'm normally at my house doing work. People always believe I'm the happy little rich girl with the perfect family. Perfect looks, perfect family, perfect grades. Look through the black and white people.
My mom underwent through this agony and never put me in the same position ever. I love her for always supporting me.
Thank you grandparents for taking care of me and teaching me all the things I needed to survive and live without questioning myself. Because you taught me how to think and do for me.
Why did this make me cry? This hits deep-
Same
This just explained my whole life with my parents😭😭😭I’m glad someone understands
bro no one in my family EVER understood me and i started to think that THIS IS NORMAL but after watching this video, im literally crying rn
Boo hoo, is youw mommy making you do chowes?🥺🥺
@@Hayondrolinhix9999what is your problem man
@@Hayondrolinhix9999username checks out
@@moiaussi7722 u right
@@moiaussi7722 shut up you two, there is a differnce between an abuse and being spoiled.
PS, thanks for complimenting my username mr. "Moilaussi"
For all the struggling young ladies in school rn, or whoever needs this, you got this, I love you, I’m proud of you, you deserve the world, and everything and everyone you desire, you DO NOT need anyone’s approval on how you look, what you eat, how you talk, or how you be you! YOU GOT THIS GIRLLIEEEEE❤❤❤
Ty! I have lots of things to do with my friendship cuz they need help with things and stuff so it's hard to get good grades, I study alot and try my best but still get told to try harder by my dad, my mum says my grades are fine just concentrate on the important things in life, but my dad tells me to do harder
Thanks i am in strict girl only school(more like ruke breaking,drunk,crazy smart,gays school)so i am fine tho
@@diputston same! I'm in an all girls school aswell
Weak
I’ve never been more grateful I grew up in such a loving house
I’m so sorry to those that didn’t ❤
Same
Thank you for supporting the other people❤️ im 11 and this is true for me, im happy for you though. Have a good life :)
I didn't
Its nice to see people supporting others that didn't have great backgrounds
I packed my brothers luggage until he was 13 in 3 years younger 😅
My father has always treated me and mu sister like this. My sister moved out now, thankfully. I'm still in the house though, and I've basically made it my mission to make sure my two older brothers aren't like my dad. My brothers know and normalize periods, cramps, and anything else that happens to a girl, and I'm really glad that I taught them these things and how to support any girl with it if they need to.
I matured really early as an eldest daughter - I would have to look after my younger brothers when parents went out, pressured to be the best and set a lead example, overworked with house work all when I was 11. I felt this video, thank you so much for making others aware ❤
Same
Me too❤
Hey @someone, you are heard and i know hiw you feel. I went through the same because noone had told me for me
Mega too :(
@@pallavisaini3209 it's nice to see so many people that have been through this and managed to get over it and have a healthy life-style again :)
I was in 5th grade being bullied, babysitting my little brother and niece. I stayed up so many nights, but I still tried to get good grades, but I started to fail behind. I had all honors classes, and now I'm in high school getting C's and B's getting yelled at that "I'm lazy". I'm doing rotc and all honors classes because I know that's my escape out of this. I HAVE BEEN DOING SO MUCH LABOR SINCE THE 2ND GRADE. I HAD TO HELP MY FAMILY WITH ANYTHING I COULD. I'm crying so much right now writing this. I'm currently looking for a job and am still in school and busy with Rotc cus I need to save money and finish school to escape all of this labor.
Omg I feel so bad for u
Cs and Bs are good wtf were they thinking
OMG! SOMEONE FINALLY UNDERSTANDS HOW IT FEELS! THIS IS EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR ME BACK HOME!!!
I gotta wash the dishes, give my parents juice and remotes, cleaning the bathroom, babysit, and more just at 12. And when I show the tiniest bit of annoyance from doing this all, they call me an ungrateful brat and then say how “this will help you become a woman I did this too”. Finally I know I’m not alone on this
@@GoofyAhhBoxy wow, I can't believe you go through all that...I kinda go through somewhat similar things. Especially with my step-mom. My step-brother never gets in any trouble...even when he does the wrong thing and its not fair. When I do something wrong though, she gives me such a hard time and what not while my brother gets to get away with everything. He was even allowed to have a girlfriend and with me, I'm not even allowed to talk to a boy, doesnt matter who it is...she won't let me. And If She does see me, then she tells my dad. But yeah, that kind of life for me. I feel very sorry for what tour going through. Sorry its a long message 😅😅😅
I remember just being 9 and having to cook and clean (my dad was the one who forced me) while my mother was at work. All while my father is just in bed sleeping, laying there watching videos, or smoking outside. And when my mother gets back home, my dad just lies about doing everything in the house when I was the one taking care of my 6 year old brother.
@@LittleNugget143 wow, thats so sad. Im sorry you have to go through that. When I used to live with my biological mother, the was always gone at work too. So I was 7 or 8 years old having to fend for myself. Feed myself, do the chores, and take care of my pets until she got home at around 5 or 6. Not to mention, I would sometime have to walk to school too
Ive listen to this song so many times that i have memorised every single word in it ❤❤😢
We all have been there. And I am very grateful and happy that I have realized how much damage it has caused and now I am healing.
Cheers to us who are healing our inner child.
Finally someone that understands 😢
You have made all the amazing woman like myself feel noticed for what they endured in childhood ❤️❤️ I truly thank you and respect you
This brings the song so much more meaning, thank you for sharing this with us! It is very relatable, I hope your channel grows!
This hit hard. But those skills are what make me a great nanny today. Don’t be afraid to cash out on the trauma yall, trust me, it heals🙌🏽❤️
I can relate to this, as I have an older sister with Down syndrome which meant I had to mature a lot faster, as I didn't get the attention I needed. This gave me constant remarks from others wondering why I was so mature at age 9. 😭😭
It feels weird dear like , why ? I, too, have an older brother with schizophrenia with a toxic family. So i have too much burden of being the best and take responsibility of everything at younger age.
my older brother is autistic so i always had to treat him like my baby brother and i got blamed for EVERYTHING growing up
I am so sorry how are you?
“You’re so mature for your age” yeah, you would be too if you had to live in these circumstances. Much love to you and your family members🩷🩷🩷
@@Ikoia15 real also yk the question mark is that you or a special character
Thank you so much for showing people the struggles of being the daughter.
we can all relate I cries when I saw you tell us and made me realise what I'm actually made for
This is to relatable. As the oldest daughter I can just say that I'm basically the parent in our home. I always do everything and yet I'm "lazy"
exactly
We’re not lazy, we just had enough 😔
No, you aren’t the parent and don’t go around saying that, your parents still do significantly more than you just by providing a house and the technology needed to write this comment.
@@m3lt731💀
@@m3lt731Just because they have the technology to write this comment doesn’t mean they don’t care for their siblings more then their parents do. Their parents may buy the food and other things, but if the older sibling who has to act as the parent isn’t there, and the parents bought electricity and food, but didn’t cook for the child, help the child clean, teach the child, or just be a parent in general then the younger siblings who aren’t able to cook, and aren’t responsible would live an unhealthy, messy life. Its not the child’s fault for not being responsible. Just because their parents pay for those things doesn’t mean they aren’t neglecting their kids. When people go to jail because their child is starving, but they have food and the parents don’t feed them, does this mean the parents shouldn’t go to jail? If you picture a family, with an older sibling, then picture the same family without the older sibling, but the parents are still doing the same amount, would the other siblings still be cared for properly? You don’t know everyone’s living conditions, or how they’re treated.
Being a tomboy, I never particularly liked wearing makeup or wearing cold shoulder shirts, but I was told “sit like a lady” a few times in the past or have my mom tease me about guys bullying me because they “liked me” or tease about “romantic interests now, I know this isn’t NEARLY as bad as most girls have it if they aren’t a tomboy like me, so sending hugs to all the pressured daughters out there, and just know your efforts are always enough 🫶
Same thing with me too
Sounds stupid but I don't see how being a tomboy changes anything relating to the subject 😂
@@volcanicowlsong7322 Same, for her things are different becz her parents/mother/ father must be good towards her and treat her nicely And things will not change if you are tomboy or girly girl ( for example - washing dishes , helping in household work , being servent for family , taking care of your siblings *these things/work doesn't matter towards your style like If I am tomboy I don't have to these thing but if I am a girly type girl I have to do these things* )
I am likely to wear mix of both but in mine my parents don't treat me like labour yah everyday I help my mother in her household work but i am not labour In my family I am oldest I have two younger brother but still i am the one who gets what i want , it also me who gets money when I wanted but not my brother, they also get sometime but not everytime like me , I have my own phone they don't * So its my parents who are not making me labour not my dressing style 😅 *
Omg semmmm😭😭
Nah y’all weak
Too relatable. I’m the middle child in the family and the first female as well. I deal with that 24-7 however I don’t even care anymore. I know dang well if I try to be the person my parents want me to be it will lead me to be even more stressed out then ever.
Hope you get out of there soon or they stop giving you so many responsibilities
Yeah my parents also have expectations, and I’m tired of being someone I’m not
@@eanna8604 same but we can't really do anything
@@DontExpectAReplyFromMe thanks!
@@eanna8604 sorry you can relate
I felt emotional watching this really. It hits hard for those who can relate
I am so glad there is content like this and young women are learning to assert themselves. I am an old lady who was the mother to a younger sibling and household servant who was kept so busy and was afraid of whatever abuse would be received if anything I did was less than perfect. I recognize now that my own mother had mental health issues but that doesn’t mitigate the damage done.
Extrenely grateful that I have parents who understand me. Never demanded anything from me. Now, I like to take care of my family just out of pure love, not demands. If I had been forced to act as a parent, I might have turned out differently.
Though as the eldest daughter I do somwtimes get thrown some responsibilities, I dont really care cuz I get appreciation.
“It’s not an act of love if you make her”
My father used to have me say “thanks dad you’re the best dad ever nobodies better than you”
I don’t think I ever said it unprompted
That was what my mom would do with me.
Where y’all getting your parents from I would say those things out of my own will
Yeah then my mom would baby my younger siblings who are boys it's just not fair..
Fuck, yk a small story time
So my parents are divorced and I have a step dad (which I call dad) because he is AMAZING, he has been more than a father to me than my actual father, because of the ways he treats me, my mum and my bro.
And one day my bio father discovered my step dad and I going to the store and my bio father said that we couldn’t love my step dad as much as we love our bio father because he doesn’t pay school 💀?! Like tf bro? Not everything is about money
And I do love my bio dad, of course since I’m raised and obligated to love him, I appreciate him, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my step that as my father figure yk?
Omg this actually made me cry because I went through all of this it was so bad.People need to know just because your smiling on the outside doesn’t mean you’re smiling on the inside
As the only daughter in my family. This hits really hard.
I finally feel SO represented now……
Bro I relate most to the bra thing.. it is really sad because I have trauma from when I was younger and my mom AND DAD would have to CHECK if I was wearing a bra. It was terrible. I relate to almost everything you post too much and it is heartwarming to see it isn’t just me. Thank you❤
Bro how is that trauma? They are checking if you have clothes on maybe they don't trust you and think that you would send some disgusting stuff to other boys. That's not trauma that's just checking up on you or maybe trust issues which could've been easily solved. Stop being a attention seeker.
wow that really upsetting im so sorry u had to go through that 😢😢. in my house i always wear a bra bcus my mom and dad will make comments abt me if i dont, so i dont want that so i’ll just be uncomfortable 🤷♀️
Girl just explained life at my dads in less than 2 minutes
As the oldest child in my house, I felt this
This is a girl issue boys never have chores it’s a huge issue whites created
as the middle child in the house who does more work then their older sister I can confirm this
This is why I’m so good at living alone. I was Cinderella my whole life living with my mom.
Oh my gosh thank you... So many people dont even see what we go through.
"Just because you see a smile, doesn't mean you know what's going on underneath. A smile is a valurable tool my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing and no matter what you do, you're the one in control"
Yeah, I saw the comment who posted something similar but I really wanted to share this. And well, I have to help at home but not that much all the time. I'm sorry for all the poor girls here who had a terriboe childhood and were treated as servants and such 💔 I really hope all this suffering will soon end for you
This is why women get their own month because that month is to represent women’s freedom and calibrating the things that women got that they never have and the fact that guys say they have it tough
Its really annoying when men say its not fair if they dont have their own month too, when womens sufferage hasnt even ended yet.
Plus the thing you just said.
Men also have to go through a lot, like : Not being able to cry/express emotion due to fear of being called a crybaby or not masculine, expected to hold the door and pay the check, being called a predator though doing nothing. And we cant forget the woman that decided to try out being a man for a year to see what it was like and ended up KILLING HERSELF after.
While men have it hard too - taking away from what women have worked for isnt going to help your or our problems.
I remember making a post trying to help women with their sexual confidence and how to not let the negative things men say about their sexuality affct them and then I had one guy whine saying "why wasnt I doing one for men" ....because im not a fucking man.
I had another one try to invalidate my point saying that women are actually not valuable because they are always wanted.
I see a lot of men trying to either invalide the effort women are putting in to make the world better for us, or putting more weight onto us by trying to do what we're doing but for men too.
That's your guys job. You need to put in the effort to make it safe for your guys to express your feelings. There are women out here who are perfectly okay with splitting checks - im one of them. Just like how I had to accept that there are men who wont respect or understand me, but there are those who do despite being in the minority atm and I just have to find them...its not much different for yall.
I care about mens health, but its hard to advocate for them when they dont put in the effort to understand how hard women have it as well and instead wanna paint us a "priviledged".
Many women have attempted suicide, the suicide attempts in women are three times more than men. Both sexes mental health are valid, but it dissapoints me seeing men constantly bring up "male suicide rates" when not only women but, LGBT members, neurodivergent, and other groups have been strugging with suicide so much longer but they dont seem to care much about that.
@luciferia.1313 Thank you for clearing that up. I am so sick and tired of men twisting facts to appear as the victim.....
May she rest in peace...but see? Men only care because it had something that benefited them in some way.
Many women attempt suicide for things like abuse and slut shaming but when its that they go "they should have known better"....
@@pandawithachainsaw9482men use to it was June because June used to be men's mental health month but then they changed it for the lgbtq community which is dumb I'm sorry they should've picked a different month
every child deserves the parents but not every parents deserve the child
I remember being yelled at because I fell asleep after my dad woke me up at 5:30 am to watch my 1yr old sister because my mom had to go to work and he didn't want to wake up. So he set me in the room with her, me being 7, and told me to not let her fall off the bed.
Not only that, but I had to make sure my other siblings didn't wake up as well. Then I was up in the middle of the night when they had nightmares because both my dad and mom would just yell at them to shut up instead of trying to find out what's wrong.
And my baby sister had vivid nightmares so until she was 8, she'd wake up completely scared and unable to talk sometimes. So I could only shush her to sleep and try not to fall asleep while she slept just in case she slips into another nightmare
Then still had to get up every single day to go to school and I couldn't miss a day no matter how sick or tired I was, reminding you my dad constantly let my other siblings stay home, til this day.
And don't forget I started dropping off and picking up my siblings on the bus in 3rd grade. Now this wouldn't be bad except I had to get their kids up And dressed while I could barely button my shirt correctly. And lie to the bus driver about loosing my money when they didn't have any money because they were using most of it for drinking, which my dad still does today.
Not to also mention:
My mom is bipolar and has been diagnosed but refuses to take medicine.
My dad is also bipolar but he's also all around manipulative and has been gaslighting me since six that this was all normal.
They don't make the actual oldest, my half sister who now only comes around when she needs something, do any of this because "she was going through a death"
Her father died when she was 2. She's 6yrs older then me. Remember that part.
Anyway, yeah. I will never make my kids grow up as fast I did.
Your an amazing person
You are indeed an amazing person
Cut all contact with parents.
@@FluffyEclairs I want to but they'll still have my siblings years after I leave. I'm gonna have to be around them sometimes but other than that, I definitely will
Thank you for giving me what I never knew I needed❤❤❤
As the youngest brother with an older sister, just know that all you guys are awesome!
Edit:Guys its not that deep, I hate my sister sometimes.
Edit 2: Can you guys stop saying this like 'as' or 'your so sweet' its kinda creeping me out
❤
You are pretty nice lol
aww you are so sweet
Thx man❤
@@sheidakayn698 Wtf
I really appreciate you did this to raise awareness because as the oldest girl of 8 full siblings I can relate a lot and having my dad work full time and my mom always pressuring me to do a lot because “I’m the oldest and I should have to do everything sense I’m in a big family” and when I do complain I’m “lazy” “back talking” “rude” “selfish” or they ignore me etc.
This really touched me and helped me realize I’m not the only one and others know what I’m going through
I had to get my little sister off the steps going down stares and she was standing there crying so hard she was as red as a cherry. Thank you for spreading awareness for people like us who now have to suffer with the trauma.
As an 11 year old, I can say I’m great fully blessed to have a calm, fun household where my few chores are to bring things to them and let the dog in/ out throughout the day and feed him in the morning; I also have to put my washing away. I am extremely grateful for my iPad, 3rd iPhone, computer, tv, switch and PlayStation 3.
This is my whole life summarised. I've never progressed in life because of selfish family members. My peers have such different speech and lifestyle compared to me, my whole life.
I’m the middle child in my family and I can fully agree because whenever my family needs me it’s always to tell me to do something and/or they’re saying that I didn’t do anything in my house even though I folded blankets, cleaned the toilet, took the dog for a walk, made MYSELF food, ran around the house getting people what they needed. My parents are the main people who do this to me.
Thank you for this. This is what my parents expect of me 😢.
My friend isn't the oldest sibling but the oldest girl and she is treated like a second mum. She babysits, cooks and her real parents don't care for her like the other siblings ❤ they treat her like another adult
We need more ppl like you who make ppl aware about the struggles of everyone.....❤
As the only daughter in my family I feel this to an extent. It’s so hard and I feel so sorry for anyone else who goes through this
You just described me in less than a minute ❤
As the eldest daughter this is so relatable. I'm so grateful for my older brother fighting for me and helping me I love him so much
as the only girl with three older brothers, this is too relatable 😭
She literally explained my life as the eldest one. I hope all are loved and kudos the person who made the song and girl, you are amazing!!!! ❤ I wish we all break free from these, doing these out of love is different and I'll be ready to do!
The expectations they have for us are out of this world. As the oldest kid in our house, I was a mom to basically everyone. My mom used to come home and cry to me about her day and how stressful it was, my dad always came to me for advice and thoughts on his problems at work, I did my lil sister's hw till 8th grade cuz she was the spoiled kid and my parents would ALWAYS take her side and also I did and still do all the chores in the house. In the end, when I wanted time for myself, I was called "lazy" and "good for nothing". Also the high expectations they had for me at school, to always be a topper and never get a bad grade was cherry on top. That really made me have depression and anxiety for a long time but I'm happy that my household has changed now due to the fact that they understood I couldn't bare all that and that I was only a kid (11-12 years old) so now everyone is more responsible, which makes me pretty happy and proud cuz this took a really long time.
This video is so true.. Like I stayed with other family this summer because we moved away and I can't see my family as much and the whole time I was there I kept getting yelled at for little things like not smiling or staying in the room I was staying in too much.. I also had to clean the kitchen at night and I had a list of chores to do... My uncle showed so much favoritism to my cousin which is his niece by marriage. But my aunt had seen this and made me feel welcome at their home and I love her so much even if she is my aunt by marriage❤
"This is what my older sister goes through, so I decided to help her with cooking, babysitting, cleaning, being her therapist, helping her with boy problems, caregiving, and serving our parents, along with encouraging her with her work and fo chase her dreams. I will always be there to help through thin and thick."
As the only daughter in my family I feel this video a lot!
Thank you so much ❤❤😭😭😭. Girls don’t deserve to go through this
They don’t at all 😞
yea we don’t
Thank you so much my brother doesn’t see how good he has it
This literally explains my aunt except the makeup part she takes more care of the kids than our moms do she cooks takes care of kids and my aunt literally is the best I love her so mich
I’m glad she is speaking out!! If you go through labor do not be scared to reach out. You don’t deserve that and there are tons or people that can help you ❤
As a middle child who's 12 I can agree a lot like its like I'm not a kid anymore 😢😢 like taking care of everyone
My mom only tells me to do everything whenever I tell my mom to ask my brother's she's like "no your a girl your place is in a kitchen "
I feel for you. Since you are only 12 let me give you some advice as I have gained more experience with the same shit. FIRST know your place is not in kitchen. Actually no one belongs in kitchen. Everyone will have to spent time in kitchen since it helps us to meet our needs. And yeah this constant comparing you to other gender will never stop after sometime it will be too much. Remember your life is your to decide. Be what you want and dont try to prove your worth to others. They wont stop degrading you using gender stereotypes but just remember no one decides your worth other than yourself and dont waste your time talking to idiots
@@amanaismayil yeah
What the frick. Girl no, family doesnt give rights to say stuff like that. GIRLS DONT BELONG IN THE KITCHEN. They belong as CEO. Dont let you family break down on your dreams. Imagine one day your husband can say "My wife owns several properties", "My wife is a multibillionare". Keep striving girl. No kitchen can keep you in
@@amanaismayiltysm!
SH!T. I ACCIDENTELY SENT THIS TO MY MOM AND SHE SAW IT. I'LL PRAY 😭
My situation is a bit different but I do understand. When I was 6 my parents divorced because my mom was cheating on my dad. I decided to stay with my dad along with my 1 year old brother, we still visited my mom but because we didn’t have a woman in the house anymore I had to grow up quickly and take on a lot more responsibilities. My mom ended up dating my step dad and I got half sibling I now take care of all of them aswell. The sad part is I am currently 14 and my mom just now started to realize my struggles and try to “make up” for them but I don’t want to forgive her. Also while taking care of my little brother he thought everything was my fault so he blamed me and would constantly hit me and stuff. Now I have gone from an out going people pleaser to a anti social person with a lot of mental issues.
So PLEASE always be kind and care for one another ❤
I've had a similar experience but I live with my mum not my dad and I don't have siblings at home. I now refuse to see my dad and his wife, it does mean I can't see my half-siblings though. I'm also 14
@@jasmineva3128 oh well I hope that you have a nice day ❤️
Your brother should not be hitting you at all even if he is a kid, his parent's really need to teach him about respect or he's going to grow up thinking violence is okay and not incredibly disrespectful.
@@TinSoldier7 yea we are currently trying to fix that issue
As the youngest of my family somehow I still feel this. It’s far too hard especially since I have a huge age gap. Sometimes I find myself breaking down once I’m alone.
Fax
For real. My dad understood me more than my mom🙁🫤🫤.
(Edit) Ty go all the likes❤
Same! what’s up with that?
Same…
tbh, in my family, I have to say my dad is more respectful than my mom. My mom literally vented to my older sibling which came to the word “dying” and basically my mom after that vented in the bathroom (at 6am morning the next day) and she came back to the room with a migraine. She also doesn’t support lgbtq+ like why? And then dad does. Once he acted gay with his uncle for idk what reason I forgot😂. But anyways my dad also loves us alot and actually made tricks with us when we were younger (like having a coin in your hand then it disappears when you open your hands) he also helps when my sibling is on her period, or when we have a headache he helps us. I love my dad🥰
Why is this so true? If not as mom, then atleast as women/female my mother should understand me better, but the reality is, that my father understands me wayyy more than my mother. Infact, I'm not even able to have a normal convo with my mum, cuz we always end up arguing in the last of it. So i always remember to not start a conversation with her, i always keep my distance cuz it wouldn't be good if we start arguing again.
Omg same and i dont care if someone had to ask me which parents do you want to raise your kids if you die i would say without a doubt my dad😊
Wow thank you for this this really helped because I went through a lot at a VERY young age and I really was overwhelmed and this just made my night