Asking about scars, injuries, and disabilities can be harmful if the person asking doesn't actually care and doesn't want to engage in a beneficial conversation. It can also be considered intrusive if the questioner is unable to read body language that sends a clear message of "leave me alone." For someone with disabilities, it may be considered insensitive if they are being asked to provide proof of their disability, which many have encountered many times. Some have been harassed and bullied and may have developed trauma around their disabilities. This is something to consider when choosing to begin a conversation with someone about their disability. Preaching the avoidance of these conversations is how ignorance is fed. It needs to be done intentionally. It may also seem insenstive to assume anyone living with a disability is incapable of doing things themselves. Again, learning to read a person's energy and body language is important if a truly curious and inclusive person wants to better understand someone's life experience and needs. Self education is also greatly helpful. I have spent years working in customer service. People sometimes come in with injuries, and i do inquire. Most are happy to share. Now, because some injuries are caused by acts of violence, the person may not want to talk about it. Or maybe does and the asker isn't prepared because we are taught to engage the world in a superficial way. Three years ago, an ex tried to kill me and i sustained broken ribs, among other things. People asked what happened. When i was still with him, i claimed to have fallen on ice because i was terrified of what he would do if i spoke the truth. After he was in jail, i spoke quite openly to anyone who asked. This is something i want to normalize, but it requires people to be curious, caring, and receptive. I have spent a lifetime learning how to read people, and i'm still learning. Avoiding this skill is how we keep people isolated, including ourselves.
For decades intentional communities have had trouble getting along. Now with the victim mindset of people its almost impossible. The ONLY option is to form groups of similar mindsets and attitudes.
Speaking as someone who has lived in a lot of places around the US, and having met people from other areas of the country and world, asking someone where they're from is an act of curiosity and inclusion. Meeting people from non-English speaking countries who speak Eglish quite well, wometimes better than native speakers, is impressive, particulalry when you consider how difficult it is to learn the language. It shows a level of committment, intelligence, and inclusion that many native English speakers do not return when visiting non-English speaking communities. I am not sure why these are listed as overall aggressors when it seems more like a personal trigger being projected onto others. I have noticed a lot of trigger happy people, particularly younger people, who demand others to walk on eggshells in an effort to avoid appearing insensitive or ignorant. I have especially noticed this in the social media realm where most anything is taken as an insult resulting in cancelation. Taking care of onesslf should include emotional intelligence and self knowledge. Almost everyone is marginalized in some way. Using those experiences to embrace victimhood is how we make aggressors out of everyone who is not exactly like us. Which, in turn, makes us the aggressors. Very few people are addressing this growing problem.
I can't help but wonder about your world view. It is full of perceived aggression and victimhood, which is unfortunate. I am not saying it doesn't exist in the world, but your lesson turns everyone into an aggressor. That is more annoying and off base than insightful. You claim not to expect perfection while demanding perfection in regards to things outside our scope of experience. Grace goes a long ways. Furthermore, making other people responsible for our feelings and responses shows a lack of maturity and personal accountability. People who come here with cultural names outside of our exposure and pronunciation will encounter those unable to say their names correctly. I have encountered this with non-native english speakers and have never taken offense to someone mispronouncing my name. When we hear unfamiliar names enough, they become normalized. There is a period of expected awkwardness. It goes both ways and should be given a lot of patience and kindness. It's not a personal attack and shouldn't be treated as such. Marginalization is the new popular word and some people feel more entitled to use it to their advantage while denying the existence of marginalization of many other people who encounter bigotry and injustice in one form or another. It divides people into us and them. Most people using this term today to describe themselves often go so far as to compete over who suffers the most and unnecessarily create enemies. This sort of mentality within a small community is a recipe for disaster. The list of marginalized groups is exhaustive. There is nothing special about being marginalized. The list includes everyone who is not Christian, wealthy, white, male, straight, and beautiful. I am not a fan of this trend at all. There is a tendency to feel special and privileged in victimhood, which is entirely toxic in the way it discourages self knowing, healing, and accountability. Not to mention, true diversity. I would never choose to live in a community where people are encouraged to blame their emotions and responses on everyone but themselves. This doesn't cancel out courtesy and respect, but it does mean that no one should be forced to walk on eggshells for fear of being accused of aggression and harmful intent where it does not exist. Some people just need a friendly nudge if they are unaware of their behavior and attitudes, especially if they want to be part of an inclusive and intentional community. A lot of unlearning has to take place, and that doesn't mean we need to create monsters out of ourselves and others. There needs to be a certain level of self awareness and interpersonal skills for anyone considering a small intentional community. Let's normalize being mature enough to speak for ourselves when there is a perceived offense without the need for an extensive list of "microaggressions." Misteps and intentional harming can be more honestly addressed. Being able to manage conflict is an important skill to develop. I was looking forward to this video, but it does more to alienate people than to create an environment of togetherness. Truly disappointing.
Because the variety of pronouns is fairly new and large, and because many of those using them are sensitive about it, conversations are avoided or demonized. Intentionally using the wrong pronoun as an act of intollerance is an act of aggression. Obviously. However, canceling and name calling people who make an effort to better understand the ever expanding pool of pronouns is vicious. There is an expectation that everyone should just know instinctively. When this started to become a big thing in the last several years, i was accused of being ignorant and hateful for asking about all the new terms and was often referred to Wikipedia for answers, kf all places, which i found to be bizarre. For a topic that is so important and deeply felt by many, few allow space for open and honest conversations. This has created a massive rift, even in places where division didn't exist. When people get pronouns wrong, which will continue to happen in the current social environment of refusing to talk about things that need to be discussed with intention and care on all sides, getting angry and offended will never be a viable or intelligent solution.
The majority of the people in any group or society, including FIC, reject the idea of microaggressions, and see the idea as childish and an embarrassment to our species. I share the sentiment of that majority.
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Asking about scars, injuries, and disabilities can be harmful if the person asking doesn't actually care and doesn't want to engage in a beneficial conversation. It can also be considered intrusive if the questioner is unable to read body language that sends a clear message of "leave me alone." For someone with disabilities, it may be considered insensitive if they are being asked to provide proof of their disability, which many have encountered many times. Some have been harassed and bullied and may have developed trauma around their disabilities. This is something to consider when choosing to begin a conversation with someone about their disability. Preaching the avoidance of these conversations is how ignorance is fed. It needs to be done intentionally.
It may also seem insenstive to assume anyone living with a disability is incapable of doing things themselves. Again, learning to read a person's energy and body language is important if a truly curious and inclusive person wants to better understand someone's life experience and needs. Self education is also greatly helpful.
I have spent years working in customer service. People sometimes come in with injuries, and i do inquire. Most are happy to share. Now, because some injuries are caused by acts of violence, the person may not want to talk about it. Or maybe does and the asker isn't prepared because we are taught to engage the world in a superficial way.
Three years ago, an ex tried to kill me and i sustained broken ribs, among other things. People asked what happened. When i was still with him, i claimed to have fallen on ice because i was terrified of what he would do if i spoke the truth. After he was in jail, i spoke quite openly to anyone who asked. This is something i want to normalize, but it requires people to be curious, caring, and receptive.
I have spent a lifetime learning how to read people, and i'm still learning. Avoiding this skill is how we keep people isolated, including ourselves.
For decades intentional communities have had trouble getting along. Now with the victim mindset of people its almost impossible.
The ONLY option is to form groups of similar mindsets and attitudes.
Speaking as someone who has lived in a lot of places around the US, and having met people from other areas of the country and world, asking someone where they're from is an act of curiosity and inclusion. Meeting people from non-English speaking countries who speak Eglish quite well, wometimes better than native speakers, is impressive, particulalry when you consider how difficult it is to learn the language. It shows a level of committment, intelligence, and inclusion that many native English speakers do not return when visiting non-English speaking communities. I am not sure why these are listed as overall aggressors when it seems more like a personal trigger being projected onto others. I have noticed a lot of trigger happy people, particularly younger people, who demand others to walk on eggshells in an effort to avoid appearing insensitive or ignorant. I have especially noticed this in the social media realm where most anything is taken as an insult resulting in cancelation. Taking care of onesslf should include emotional intelligence and self knowledge.
Almost everyone is marginalized in some way. Using those experiences to embrace victimhood is how we make aggressors out of everyone who is not exactly like us. Which, in turn, makes us the aggressors. Very few people are addressing this growing problem.
I can't help but wonder about your world view. It is full of perceived aggression and victimhood, which is unfortunate. I am not saying it doesn't exist in the world, but your lesson turns everyone into an aggressor. That is more annoying and off base than insightful. You claim not to expect perfection while demanding perfection in regards to things outside our scope of experience. Grace goes a long ways. Furthermore, making other people responsible for our feelings and responses shows a lack of maturity and personal accountability.
People who come here with cultural names outside of our exposure and pronunciation will encounter those unable to say their names correctly. I have encountered this with non-native english speakers and have never taken offense to someone mispronouncing my name. When we hear unfamiliar names enough, they become normalized. There is a period of expected awkwardness. It goes both ways and should be given a lot of patience and kindness. It's not a personal attack and shouldn't be treated as such.
Marginalization is the new popular word and some people feel more entitled to use it to their advantage while denying the existence of marginalization of many other people who encounter bigotry and injustice in one form or another. It divides people into us and them. Most people using this term today to describe themselves often go so far as to compete over who suffers the most and unnecessarily create enemies. This sort of mentality within a small community is a recipe for disaster. The list of marginalized groups is exhaustive. There is nothing special about being marginalized. The list includes everyone who is not Christian, wealthy, white, male, straight, and beautiful. I am not a fan of this trend at all. There is a tendency to feel special and privileged in victimhood, which is entirely toxic in the way it discourages self knowing, healing, and accountability. Not to mention, true diversity. I would never choose to live in a community where people are encouraged to blame their emotions and responses on everyone but themselves. This doesn't cancel out courtesy and respect, but it does mean that no one should be forced to walk on eggshells for fear of being accused of aggression and harmful intent where it does not exist. Some people just need a friendly nudge if they are unaware of their behavior and attitudes, especially if they want to be part of an inclusive and intentional community. A lot of unlearning has to take place, and that doesn't mean we need to create monsters out of ourselves and others. There needs to be a certain level of self awareness and interpersonal skills for anyone considering a small intentional community.
Let's normalize being mature enough to speak for ourselves when there is a perceived offense without the need for an extensive list of "microaggressions." Misteps and intentional harming can be more honestly addressed.
Being able to manage conflict is an important skill to develop. I was looking forward to this video, but it does more to alienate people than to create an environment of togetherness. Truly disappointing.
Because the variety of pronouns is fairly new and large, and because many of those using them are sensitive about it, conversations are avoided or demonized. Intentionally using the wrong pronoun as an act of intollerance is an act of aggression. Obviously. However, canceling and name calling people who make an effort to better understand the ever expanding pool of pronouns is vicious. There is an expectation that everyone should just know instinctively. When this started to become a big thing in the last several years, i was accused of being ignorant and hateful for asking about all the new terms and was often referred to Wikipedia for answers, kf all places, which i found to be bizarre. For a topic that is so important and deeply felt by many, few allow space for open and honest conversations. This has created a massive rift, even in places where division didn't exist. When people get pronouns wrong, which will continue to happen in the current social environment of refusing to talk about things that need to be discussed with intention and care on all sides, getting angry and offended will never be a viable or intelligent solution.
The majority of the people in any group or society, including FIC, reject the idea of microaggressions, and see the idea as childish and an embarrassment to our species. I share the sentiment of that majority.