Couples' Finances, Budgeting and Muslim Marriages - the right approach? | Money in Marriage EP1
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 พ.ค. 2024
- Money is the biggest cause of divorce between couples, so in this episode, we got together four people from three different relationships to talk about how they manage money.
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TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intros
00:32 - How Khizar and Nusaybah manage finances
03:55 - How Jennifer and her husband do finances
05:48 - Parents' role in shaping how couples do their finances
07:27 - How Ibrahim and his wife do finances
09:24 - Couples' financial goals
13:30 - Dealing with different financial goals?
15:27 - Friction between couples regarding money
20:24 - Who owns the house?
26:05 - Can your wife take your business in the event of a divorce?
28:17 - Top tips on marital finances
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Very interesting conversation. Thank you. Jennifer's input on security was really insightful. I agree completely with Nusaybah re: woman's sacrifice and unpaid labour. I don't think her husband or many husbands absorb that until she said it (sadly).
Great video mash Allah!! I think this topic of finances in a marriage is so important, and one episode is not enough, so please make more videos or even a whole series dedicated to this topic.
Masha Allah! Timely discussion
Great informative session! Well done! I agree with Nusayba it is a joint effort between husband and wife that justifies both to have ownership over a house even if as tenants in common because of the need of an Islamic will.
A fantastic video, I would really recommend bringing sister Jennifer on to delve into that need of owning property and why it exists in many brothers and sisters.
Amazing video! Love these sit down discussion videos. Such great perspectives! Keep up the good work MashaAllah TabarakAllah
Glad you enjoyed it!
Naveed Hussain does an important talk on constructing a prenup in line with the the Quran and Sunnah in the west. Knowledge of finances is critical. Don’t be burned
It's good you clarified that she's your wife😃
Great video MashaAllah these conversations are much needed in our community.
May Allah Accept your works, and make it a means of acceptance and Guidance for the Ummah!
Its an amazing discussion, a really vital one i fact, because in sometimes these matters arent taught by parents to both potential spouses, either its a man or a women to be in marriage
The key as 30:24 communication calmly.
Very interesting topics and educating discussions. You mentioned several times about 'Islamic mortgages', isn't the term 'mortgage' based on 'interest/ Ribaa'? And lastly, can you make a video about the difference of 'Islamic mortgages and non-Islamic mortgages'. As always, JazakAllâh kheiyr.
Ibrahim has already done lots of videos on mortgages. Please check them out
جزاک اللہ خیرا
In traditional family units, where the woman is not able to go out and earn money, it would be unfair for her not to receive a share of the matrimonial assets on separation, especially when she has contributed to marriage in other ways ie taking care of the house, raising children. If the woman didn't stay at home to raise the children, the couple would need to pay someone to do it.
If both parties are making their own earnings, it's easier to keep finances separate. I don't think it is fair to portray a woman negatively if she wants or needs a share of the matrimonial assets which the husband has accumulated on a separation.
Allahumdullah in the UK the courts understand this.
So Islamic Shariah law is "unfair" and Kafir courts are "alhumdulilah" because of your love of wealth? Feminism is surely the biggest source of disbelief in Muslim women.
Hizr 😂 got into hot water after the call about his “i own the house comment”
Allahumma barik feek.
The mahr is there in the case of divorce for women. Us muslims need to formalise marriage contracts/nikah and have serious discussions EARLY on to protect each other. Too many muslim couples getting married without these types of dicussions. Dont leave these discussions until after marriage! Good point at the end from the sister about keeping your financial hygiene clean I.e dont go into marriage with debts. Keep up the good vids IFG! IA may Allah swt make it easy for all married couples
Woman only keeps mahr if husband divorces her, if she requests khula then she gives the mahr back to her husband which he may use to marry again. The mahr is a safety feature for both man and woman if the woman request divorce she has to return it and if he divorces her then she keeps it.
@@max20817 exactly, protection for both the husband and wife
Mahr is there because it's there, don't see how it protects anyone to pass a few grand either way
@مرحبا بك this is why discussions are needed to decide upon a mahr that can provide financial assistance upon the divorce happening. All dependant upon people's situations and income. Possibly even monthly payments after the divorce which is a last resort anyway.
Don't go into marriage with debts... So a person in debt should never marry? Student debts? Wait 20 years to marry?
IFG help Muslim men protect their homes from getting robbed by their ex wives
Any tips?
The amount of westernised mentality being thrown in this video is shocking.
27:50 the first proper none western point made here. They don't address the Islamic point of view properly till here. Shocking. May Allah guide us all. Aameen
My husband never tells me what's going on with finance , I had no job before and all he dœs is give me a small amount in my hands to spend on myself , and if an emergency happens then I'll be stuck having no income , whereas I do more than my duties for him
This made me hate our relationship truly and I'm thinking of going from this toxic place tbh
Discussing finance is so important in a couple ,whoever is reading this don't fall into the same mistake , ull regret it
Sister, yes he should give you insight into the budget & finances, however he most likely wants to free you from that burden. It is a burden especially after bringing the money home. It is a privilege to be able to receive income and not have to deal with nitty gritty finances. Whenever he is free and in a good mood - probe don’t nag to see and to be given a breakdown I’d suggest. Also, remember the Hadith about woman being ungrateful is in her nature and that is why women will make up the majority of Hellfire, it isn’t to say your a bad wife but to inform you that ingratitude is a horrible trap that Shaytan wants you to fall into. Remember all your husband does for you, Prophet SAW said: Whoever doesn’t thank the people hasn’t thanked Allah.
@@redman6790
Jazk Allah khaif for the beautiful advice , I really benefited , its true my hubby is a great man however keeping me away from this really bothers me , I want to deal with that and help him budget , this will make the couple closer , I spoke before but nothing changed,
I wrote my comment to other ppl to read and benefit that in a couple they should always speak and do things together .
May Allah bless you for the beautiful reminder and grant you jannah
@@redman6790 she isn't being unreasonable...how does taking a interest in the household equate to being ungrateful?....no one knows who is going to live more than the other...atleast she should have som basic sense of where it is coming rom and how much incase one day it is her all by herself.
Salam sister. I would respectfully challenge that and suggest that some people view finances as private. If I earn money through my own efforts, I am entitled to share the details of my earnings or keep it to myself - it is up to me and a judgment for me to make alone. I appreciate that sharing is part of marriage, but I do believe that you don’t need to share everything and this is especially the case in finance. I think if a man is fulfilling the rights his dependents have over him, he is fair to decide not to share details if he deems it unnecessary or inappropriate. Having said all of that, I have no idea what your dynamics and circumstances are, so not making any judgment about your particular situation, these views are general. Personally, I’m certainly someone who prefers to keep finances private as I have seen what happens when you don’t, and I wouldn’t expect my wife to share details of her financial standing and frankly I’m not interested in it as this is her business and what she does with that information is up to her.
if you are independent before marriage you will get struggle because you earn by your self and spend is much you want so now tell him and get job that good for you thank you for your advice I'm very smart when it come to this I'm saving money and build house and if I get married I will continue working period that is my boundaries
The black sister seems very conflicted. On one hand she has some great views and on the other she seems like she's insecure about her marriage. She keeps talking about security as if she lives in a country that doesn't favour women in the event of divorce. Even if her husband left her she would likely get half of his assets in British law, even more so if she has custody of the children. It's the men that should be protected from such things. Especially since we are Muslim and the woman also has Mahr which she's entitled to if she was divorced by her husband. Muslim women in the west have BOTH the Mahr and half her husband's assets under western law and the majority of women take BOTH. How is that fair? Nobody is talking about that though are they?
Personally I wouldn't marry a woman who keeps talking like this as it feels like she's always be looking out for herself rather than the family as a whole. I can't keep trying to pull the family forward when my wife is actively and constantly trying to plant her own roots at every other step. Maybe that's also why I'm not married.. I tend not to leave these sorts of conversations to after marriage and it might scare women off early who knows.
Prenuptial agreements when doing a registered marriage can provide protection. Plus discussing and stating these things before the nikah can help avoid these types of marriages
@@Z901Z yeah good luck with getting that done and the woman being okay with it. It should definitely be discussed in these types of conversations though.
I don't think I am conflicted at all, although I can see why you would say that. If I only looked out for myself then my marriage would not he on its 20th year, I talk about security as I mentioned in another video that is part of my trauma from being homeless at the age of 16, its what I saw growing up and trying to undo that is very difficult. I also mentioned in another video that I know I am in a country that will not leave a woman yo be vulnerable. Alhamdulilah I am not insecure about my marriage but I am also very realistic that marriages do break down and how do you move on with children and finances is something that is something that I have seen go very wrong also.
I completely understand your views and respect that marrying someone like me is definitely not the faint hearted - May Allah bless my husband. 😂
@@JenniferOgunyemi indeed
@@JenniferOgunyemi Assalamualaykum Jennifer, so sorry to hear about your past. You've done incredibly well despite your circumstances. May Allah bless you and your family even further
Most Muslim women choose man made law over Allah's law in the west.
Bit of a general statement if ever I saw one 🙄
You are correct . Divorce statistics overwhelmingly prove that
@@keepitreelcatfishing5883but honestly too many cheat nowadays this is a very big factor many are onyl religious from the outside but not the heart and inside
Well no one forced the person man or woman to marry under US laws, you can't have it both ways.
Refuted then since you asked for it 😅😅😅😂😂😂