I've thought about stuff in this area for years. Although I'm aro-ace, I still want quality time with people, and this confused me a lot while I was understanding my aceness, and moreso my aromanticness. Finding the cutoff between a deep platonic connection, and where it could turn romantic, was my biggest challenge, and I'm still not completely clear on it to this day. That's why I've accepted a potential future in a exclusive platonic partnership, might be the way to go. Although as a introvert too, I've not really been challenged on this opportunity, so I'm not sure if I could actually accept that situation in real life. The idea of it is probably better than reality, and that's how I cope with things when my imagination gets away with itself. I'm not sure if my experience helps at all with your situation, but that's all I've got.
Thank you so much for the insight into your personal feelings Rob. It's interesting to hear about this and it sounds like there are definitely similarities between our situations in this instance. I can imagine it's even trickier when you're an introvert too.
I found your masturbation video & laughed, thinking "How Odd that this guy hasn't masturbated". But after watching a few of your videos about asexuality I and not having those same desires, I completely get it & can now imagine how someone would or rather, would not have those feelings and how someone can have completely different motivations & desires in life that don't revolve around sex. Very eye opening thankyou.
Thank you sharing your insight. As a demisexual/asexual woman, what I basically look for is the closeness of a relationship (company, reciprocity, trust), minus the more sexual component of it. I was in a relationship with an allosexual man, and it was quite challenging for both of us, because of our opposite needs. I wish there was more visibility and acceptance. I also prefer sleeping by myself, but that doesn't mean I don't crave emotional connection. It's a difficult situation to be in.
Thanks for the kind words. I relate to practically everything you've mentioned here. I completely understand the challenges and also crave the emotional connection but yet desire to sleep by myself. Hope you're keeping well.
I’m so glad you are enjoying Poland both solo and with her! Responding to your question about what I want a relationship and if there have been problems, I don’t envision myself in a romantic relationship, but I do want friends, and I also appreciate snuggles. Where I have run into problems in the past is when I mix snuggling and friends. It has blown up into too big of an issue before, even when I thought we were all good. So that is making me gun-shy about mixing those two things going forward (friends and snuggling). Luckily, my family of origin is still a place I can get snuggles, but that requires traveling back to see them, and it’s not very often…
Very interesting Paula, thanks for sharing. I understand your point regarding the complications of mixing snuggles and friendships, I know this from experience and sometimes these snuggles can be perceived as wanting something more by the other party.
Being homoromantic ace, I've always desired that non-sexual intimacy. Sensual but not sexual. There's holes in your heart only shaped for another person to fill, no matter how much you love yourself and are independent, at the end of the day you can't exactly hold yourself when you're crying, or moments of fun that you wish to share with another. I guess I have a very close attachment style. It's like wanting every element of a relationship minus the sex, which ends up making things complicated and at times risky/dangerous. I'll never force something that isn't there, so I stay single. But as far as time separates from one another, there definitely needs to be healthy time away, like with friends or family, or general alone time otherwise you could be looking at codependency or worst case scenario, abusive isolation. I never want someone to feel entirely dependent on me or that I'm suffocating them. They can leave anytime and they aren't stifled due to something like loss of financial independence. If that makes sense.
Asexuality is not aromanticism. Both are spectrums. Attitudes towards the acts are also a spectrum. Feeling differently in what sounds like a one off situation does not come anywhere near invalidating anything. You just found the mythical one they keep telling us about. So... congrats i guess? Hope it goes well. Your aceness is still valid!
Hey, just saw you on Reddit, nice channel and looking forward to future content!
I've thought about stuff in this area for years. Although I'm aro-ace, I still want quality time with people, and this confused me a lot while I was understanding my aceness, and moreso my aromanticness.
Finding the cutoff between a deep platonic connection, and where it could turn romantic, was my biggest challenge, and I'm still not completely clear on it to this day.
That's why I've accepted a potential future in a exclusive platonic partnership, might be the way to go. Although as a introvert too, I've not really been challenged on this opportunity, so I'm not sure if I could actually accept that situation in real life. The idea of it is probably better than reality, and that's how I cope with things when my imagination gets away with itself.
I'm not sure if my experience helps at all with your situation, but that's all I've got.
Thank you so much for the insight into your personal feelings Rob. It's interesting to hear about this and it sounds like there are definitely similarities between our situations in this instance. I can imagine it's even trickier when you're an introvert too.
I found your masturbation video & laughed, thinking "How Odd that this guy hasn't masturbated". But after watching a few of your videos about asexuality I and not having those same desires, I completely get it & can now imagine how someone would or rather, would not have those feelings and how someone can have completely different motivations & desires in life that don't revolve around sex. Very eye opening thankyou.
Thank you sharing your insight.
As a demisexual/asexual woman, what I basically look for is the closeness of a relationship (company, reciprocity, trust), minus the more sexual component of it. I was in a relationship with an allosexual man, and it was quite challenging for both of us, because of our opposite needs. I wish there was more visibility and acceptance.
I also prefer sleeping by myself, but that doesn't mean I don't crave emotional connection. It's a difficult situation to be in.
Thanks for the kind words. I relate to practically everything you've mentioned here. I completely understand the challenges and also crave the emotional connection but yet desire to sleep by myself. Hope you're keeping well.
Love my own space. I don’t like having roommates lol but it would be nice to have a relationship but maybe not live with the person.
I’m so glad you are enjoying Poland both solo and with her! Responding to your question about what I want a relationship and if there have been problems, I don’t envision myself in a romantic relationship, but I do want friends, and I also appreciate snuggles. Where I have run into problems in the past is when I mix snuggling and friends. It has blown up into too big of an issue before, even when I thought we were all good. So that is making me gun-shy about mixing those two things going forward (friends and snuggling). Luckily, my family of origin is still a place I can get snuggles, but that requires traveling back to see them, and it’s not very often…
Very interesting Paula, thanks for sharing. I understand your point regarding the complications of mixing snuggles and friendships, I know this from experience and sometimes these snuggles can be perceived as wanting something more by the other party.
Being homoromantic ace, I've always desired that non-sexual intimacy. Sensual but not sexual. There's holes in your heart only shaped for another person to fill, no matter how much you love yourself and are independent, at the end of the day you can't exactly hold yourself when you're crying, or moments of fun that you wish to share with another. I guess I have a very close attachment style. It's like wanting every element of a relationship minus the sex, which ends up making things complicated and at times risky/dangerous. I'll never force something that isn't there, so I stay single. But as far as time separates from one another, there definitely needs to be healthy time away, like with friends or family, or general alone time otherwise you could be looking at codependency or worst case scenario, abusive isolation. I never want someone to feel entirely dependent on me or that I'm suffocating them. They can leave anytime and they aren't stifled due to something like loss of financial independence. If that makes sense.
on my case like all quality of heath relationship ,have someone to call a partner even husband ,only remove s@x in the equation
Thanks for sharing Julie
Asexuality is not aromanticism. Both are spectrums.
Attitudes towards the acts are also a spectrum.
Feeling differently in what sounds like a one off situation does not come anywhere near invalidating anything. You just found the mythical one they keep telling us about. So... congrats i guess? Hope it goes well. Your aceness is still valid!
My only advice: don't be so sure your asexual.