Currently coaching is in 1-month subscriptions. Can I ask what kind of information you hope to get from trying it out? Perhaps I can help (this is french from HG, hi)
Damn, I just realized I am terrified of putting my self out there. I kept just blaming it on being introverted, and needing less social interactions than most but in reality I am just terrified if I do put myself out there I won't be good enough for the people around me. I won't be someone worth being around or loving. I am so yikes lmao
Same, the crippling fear of failure/rejection weighing heavy down on me and I end up paralyzed not being able to do anything, even though the only way to get through it is actually putting myself out there and face those rejections.
1:10 seconds in and i feel personally attacked. I'm a software engineer and have always felt that I'm decently intelligent but am terrified of applying for new jobs cuz I'm afraid they'll reject me and then it'll mean i'm actually stupid, which is so stupid and i'm working on it (obviously only one person can get the job), but to hear someone else put it into words so concisely hits home and helps me think about it logically. Really appreciate the the work you put in doc, i know it helps me and lots of others.
I really appreciate these summaries after the end of the videos. I've been meaning to rewatch past streams and take notes during it, so this is a great help. Thanks for your work!
@@Tocinos I just keep re-watching some of his videos that make most sense to me. I've no need to take notes, I have a video shortlist of all his most helpful videos. Honestly, so many things he says are so helpful. What he is doing with the coaching is also a great thing. I'm 100% sure that in the next few years I'm gonna try the coaches out for like a month and see how they are.
To the homie at Summit Climbing Gym in Denton who saw and complimented my HealthyGamerGG shirt yesterday - sorry I didn't stop to chat for longer. I had friends waiting for me outside. I hope you see this and I'm glad you enjoy Dr. K as much as I have :D Can't believe someone recognized it the very firs time I wore my shirt!
Insecurity You try to reassure that it's false But the insecurity is on the inside so you can't fix it from the outside Stop feed it from the outside Because youll become more and more dependent on the outside signals So you end up feeling good one day and shitty the next day, depending on how the outside world happens You feel powerless Just sit with it and tolerate the hunger Waiting game- it will feed thoughts in your head Mirror and candle Look at candle and the thoughts will go Then look at yourself and the thoughts come back
Dr K has been helping me so much. I’ve been downloading his videos and interviews in mp3 and listening to them on the way to school every morning and even sometimes during lunch. I’ve actually started feeling better about myself and.. started feeling more hopeful? Like I actually can overcome my insecurities and anxiety and actually move forward in life. I hope this feeling lasts :)
My guy You know what hope is?? Hope has two components: pathway and agency. To feel hope, you need to identify an actionable path and feel able to accomplish it Basically you’ve started to find a way forward. Good for you Don’t look for hope to last forever ( it won’t), it’s something that you can create again and again
If you look in the mirror for long enough I'm pure darkness your mind will eventually start seeing things and ur face will come off weird because...it's dark and some people actually have really bad PTSD from that cuz they start thinking they saw something in themselves lol
My favorite thing about you Dr. K is that you tell your patients to observe themselves, to bask in a new experience, to breathe and be self aware of every action that brought you to that state. You are making people aware of themselves, showing them that there is a road to take rather than walk through the weeds. Really appreciate your existence.
I'm not a gamer. I found the channel because of Reckful's therapy sessions with Dr K. When I found out that Byron passed, I promised myself that I would carry on living in his honor. I was at the lowest point in my life and i wanted to die too. I have to say that watching these videos is super helpful. I journal now and try to apply to myself what I learn from this channel
I’m not a gamer, either :) i don’t think you are required to have a video game addiction just to watch him. It’s great that you are finding comfort in these videos!
Dr K, I want to sincerely thank you. I've struggled with addiction in one form or another for as long as I can remember, and because of my work schedule and money issues rehab has never been an option. These videos, especially the meditation ones, and the community you created (i used to be very active in your discord) have been extremely helpful in learning to live with myself sober.
So thats why when i was a young teenager i texted strangers online all day and then one day i randomly stopped cuz no matter how many compliments i got i still felt like shit and talking to ppl became draining cuz i started to think they were liars and i still think they r liars. Now i just let myself get worse and worse and don't bother doing anything abt it.
This is golden, He managed to sum up simple concepts that are changing my life and that can be life changing for every human being. Having self-worth and faith in yourself is one of the fundamentals of a good life. I love this guy. I will share with people who need this.
At the a young age, I experienced emotional bullying and manipulation by others. In ten years of age, I begin to hate those people who manipulated me and the others around me, as a result I become alone. I become more insecure and jealous of others, hoping to get attention and also seek revenge. I hated the world just because society had hated me. Then one time, my sister annoyed me by putting more burden in my back and showing off my insecurities, I got so enrage that I got the knife in the kitchen and went to her with killing intent. I liked her expression experiencing fear , but I stopped and thought of the consequences so I stopped running towards her. I question myself "Why did I not do it?" "Its so easy to kill, are you dumb?" All of the questions appeared in my mind. That moment is just a major stepping stone for my character development for who I am today. I am still 15 yrs old, but my personality makes me mistaken as a life coach. We just differ in the way we see ourselves and the world. Reality beating us until we hit rock bottom makes us learn new things. Note: Sorry for my bad grammar. As long as you guys understand it's fine right?!
don''t worry about grammar remember the nazis lost. If you still care about what others think of you think to yourself "should i care about what these specific people say?" also just because someone has an opinion about you doesn't mean they are right.
I feel like today I have a problem about worry for people too much. They call me annoying for being concerned about others. Sometimes I thought of finding a way to communicate to them as a different person and hide my emotions. I still have trouble analyzing people's different thought process which is my problem from the start. Hopefully, things will be solved. Thanks for reading my comment.
This is so counter-intuitive, i literally clicked with the mindset of "hmm i don't rlly think im insecure, wait, no maybe i'am huuh.....?" lmao great one
Thanks Dr. K. It’s like you read my mind. I got on academic probation in medical school this morning and I got close to crying when my academic advisor was explaining the severity of the situation. Wondered why I was so emotional when I already knew the situation. At this moment, I think it’s because I’ve always been insecure about not being smart enough so I’m sensitive to external opinions on my performance/intelligence. Anyways I’ll be sure to try that candle meditation and try to be confident from within.
@@aryan7767 Good luck with what you're going through and thanks for asking. Currently I finished 2nd year and am preparing to take STEP. So it's very possible to get out of probation. I did it by changing the way I studied, testing myself with questions, staying consistent, and asking classmates or professors if I didn't understand a concept. Stay strong, you'll get past this even though it's stressful right now. Keep me updated and I hope everything works out :)
I remember used to hate the way i look but i found the answer. I dont think i deserve love, but i improve everyday. Thanks dr k. I almost died long ago and felt stuck since then. But i learn alot from ur content. Its not my fault anymore love u drk
I tried this for the first time today (the mirror candle thing) and I have to say that there were so many insecurities bottled up inside me that came out, I almost made myself cry. I just want to thank you, Dr. K because I know that over time, this will change me
It's hard to convince yourself, let alone others that they need to self reflect in order to acknowlege their insecurities, but I like that you frame it like a necessity, like water etc. School often doesn't teach inner harmony, self acceptance and improvement. I wish it had taught me these things.
Hey Dr. K, I’m currently working on my Associate’s in Psychology, and hoping to work up to a Master’s. Your vids have helped me make many connections with concepts I’ve learned in class, and I really appreciate you bringing awareness to mental health, especially in the gaming community.
This is incredible advice! I used to be very insecure about my apearance, years ago. I basically did what you explained, and it went away after a few months of daily man to mirror therapy :D You are saving lives Dr.K. what a blessing. Keep up the amazing work!
I'm a certified psychiatrist, with PHD on demonic rituals. Try reversing the process by burning the entirity of the residence and claiming Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. If this doesn't work, be sure to NOT feed your soul to the hellspawn. Good luck.
How does the demonic dog make you feel? Sit with that feeling, let it come up, then turn your attention to the candle and let the demonic dog wash away. Repeat this process until you can sit comfortably with the demonic dog and it doesn't have power over you.
Since I "tried to figure myself out" it only got worse. Even just taking a shower is scary because I'm only with my thoughts there (and they're leveled up by now, more advanced enemies). Distracting myself (with work, games, whatever, keeping busy) is the only thing which seems to be working. Don't know if this tip is a good idea to do...
You probably have to see the difference between getting busy with important stuff, about work or studies then that's a healthy escape from your thoughts. Everyone has these dark thoughts. Knowledge is a curse but also a way to the cure. Love yourself and take things easy, sometimes i laugh to how stupid, ugly and mean some of my thoughts are about myself
People fail to mention about being mindful that... Sometimes it gets a lot worse before it gets better. You're dealing with repressed emotions/thoughts, so it's only natural when you face them that you will have to deal with some extreme feelings. But if you power through and don't go back to repressing, find healthy habits that replace screen time, working out, etc., you will come out the other side MUCH MUCH better for it. But I'm not a therapist, just a guy who has been there lol. Stay strong brother.
I can completely relate with running away from myself and distracting myself with TH-cam , games , whatnot .But I guess at some point I felt so meaningless and like a half dead person just observing others(still do)that I became desparate to figure my truth out. Somehow the idea "truth will set you free" planted itself firmly in my mind. So now I'm desparate to figure myself out.
@@zrav2918 *TL:DR - Also for all of the others I haven't replied to, thank you for the kind words. Recently I started (again) checking out the stuff of the Dalai Lama - I admire the guy - and somehow connected dots between "ego" and most of my problems. Reading books daily and reminding myself of his teachings daily acts as a "meditation" for me every morning nowadays.* This is going to be a bit of a stretch so bare with me. Since my initial comment, I've once randomly went to a book store with a friend just to look around, and I've found a book called "The Dalai Lama's Cat and The Four Paws of Spiritual Success". After a couple of days of reading that I found myself I'm listening to lectures from the DL almost daily. I have to state I'm really NOT a spiritual guy by any means, but his thoughts/teachings always interested me. Here comes the weird part: the key thing I got out the videos and the book (for myself) is that I think I'm starting to understand how "ego" is affecting almost every part of our lives, or at least mine. This was the only thing I had to reflect on that how much ego influences most of my thoughts daily. I've only started to implement (parts of) some of his teachings into my daily routines, but I'm experiencing an enormous change in how I view everything - including myself. For a quick-silly example, for the morning poop I'm not bringing my phone to look at depressing news or dumb memes or drama or whatever, but bring a book. It's sort of my version of "meditation", where I simply calm my mind and not thinking about the rushing issues of the everydays. So now I also start to understand what Dr. K. means when he talks about how OP meditation can be. By no means I got optimistic, but a bit more peaceful with myself for sure.
i stopped looking at myself on the mirror and stopped taking pictures for like a whole year, and after like the first few months i realized it wasnt so bad, i was so focused on what was wrong/what i looked like and wanting it to stop that i became obsessed, it was taking a huge toll on me, so yeah, i just sat with it, id be like "well i didnt see myself on the mirror so i dont know if i look good nor do i know if i look bad" and just accepted it, and now i can look at myself and whatever i know i can "fix" (like losing weight, cuz i gained a few kg) i just do it, but the rest i just came to accept it, also seeing other people that look like us, like im insecure about my chin, and i saw other people with the same chin who made jokes about it and just didnt care about theirs, and that helped me become okay with it, even if nobody's reassuring me, just knowing im not the only one and seeing those other people be happy even with that same chin motivates me and reassures me, i dont ask for validation, but also i realized that the person who cares the most about how i look is myself. everytime i noticed something, people hadnt even noticed nor did they care, like id have the tiniest stain on my shirt and complain about it and feel terrible thinking i ruined my shirt and that i look like shit and that everyone will notice the stain, and when i say it others are like i didnt even notice it its so tiny. ofc if youre obsessed with your appearance your world will start to revolve around that, and youre gonna think everyone thats around you is too, that they also think like you, but no, youre so focused that you cant see things from an outside perspective and even if people tell you its okay you think theyre lying or just trying to make you feel better when in reality most people just dont give a shit lmao, and those who make shitty comments are always the ones who are ALSO focused way too much on their own appearance
but again, instead of forcing myself to look at myself and correct my posture or hold in my stomach or fix my hair or whatever once i stopped looking i slowly stopped doing those things, stopped caring, and ended up accepting that yeah sometimes i look like shit and its okay, and literally nobody fuckin cares lmao
Great video! The only thing I would like to add, from my limited experience, is that it takes a lot of time to untangle the insecurities inside. I've found that finding the 'switch' as Dr. K portrays it is a lot harder than it sounds...
Thanks for this video. I've been struggling a lot with insecurity, especially recently in quarantine, but watching these videos is like getting really solid advice from a good friend. Looking forward to trying the candle/mirror exercise.
Thank you Dr.K! Your real talk really helped me to start thinking about my insecurities and to face it in the most realistic way. As a recent graduate in this pandemic, find meaningful works was nearly impossible for me. Having no stable income, being independent of my parents and peers found their stable jobs made me question my worth and capabilities, whether I was wasting my time in university instead of finding a job before. I have started looking for other jobs, more labour/casual type of employments to earn some income for now. I need to survive through this pandemic first, build up my interpersonal skills and be more confident in myself; Then I can start looking for the industry-related jobs that I desired. I know you may not read this, but again thank you for the talk.
This is literally me. I always feel like I need to be talking to some attractive girl who's interested in me to prove to myself that I'm still desirable.
Thank you for consistently putting these videos out. They have helped me a lot with anxiety and insecurity issues in my day to day life. Keep healing K, your doing great work!
I must say, not related to the subject itself (which is interesting btw), your videos got easier to watch over time. I mean, the new partially relaxed tone of the voice is really an improvement over the older videos. I tried watching some of those, but no matter how much I turned down the volume, and no matter how interesting the subject was, most of the times I couldn't just minimize the video and listen to the discussion in the background because it required 100% of my focus. Congrats on improving this aspect of the stream!
Honestly - its very reassuring to hear this. Its great to know I don't have to go out chasing happiness with things that are like holding sand. It always feels like i have to achieve X,Y,Z to be happy; and sometimes i achieve these things and it never really solves anything in the long run.
These videos are extremely helpful and brilliantly presented in an entertaining way. Keep up the good work, you're a huge inspiration to me from Denmark
Thanks for this, Dr. K! I spend a lot of time in thought about myself and my motivations, but the idea of actually looking into my own eyes is something I've never considered. Appreciate the advice!
I just came out of a relationship with my crush of 4 years. I reflected on everything I did wrong and realised I was hugely secure and needed her to keep reminding me she loved me and that she liked me. She's gone now. I will never get her back. I want to be happy with myself but I have issues with self image. I also have issues talking to anyone about my problems and I always hesitate to get help. Edit: I wanted to know if this coaching would be at all appropriate for insecurity and issues with empathy?
@Growtopia Mods You are right, but 4 years is over 20% of my life. I have hurt myself before over things out of my hands and I have to learn how to be happy within myself and be more empathetic but I'm not fully sure how.
this just appeared out of nowhere on my recommendation homepage. well well well, did TH-cam check on my diary or something. the thing is, I know I'm insecure about myself, but then, when I unintentionally asking for reassurance, and get it, I immediately felt wrong and 'uh, i dont want this, that's wrong, I know that's not true, that's a lie, you just wanted to comfort me blabla'. I'll practice more and try to not feeding from external approval and tolerate my shitty self. Thank you.
Just the thought of staring at my face in the mirror and allowing myself to tolerate and sit with the emotions that I have been ignoring and avoiding for a very long time scares me so much but I think that's the reason I'm so dependant on the outside world. I'm scared but for the first time, I feel like I'm getting help and it's helping me.
How, this actually explains a LOT about me the more I think about it... -Some days I feel like absolute crap and others I feel great -I've spent by far most of my life on the internet -I try too hard to fight yesterday's battles Damn thanks Dr. K :)
I remember there is a ritual where you take a candle and stand in front of mirror during midnight, and then say “Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary” I forgot what’s next, the people say it will summon Bloody Mary who tears your face off. I remember been traumatized and dare not go to toilet during midnight, even at clock that has a number representing bad luck and death I am not going to the toilet.
What's the difference between insecurities in a relationship, values for a relationships if the values are there to see that both love each other and that both should follow?
An insecurity is something that makes you feel like the relationship isn’t right and a value is something that both of you share, an idea that you agree on. (That’s how I see in, idk if u get what I mean). So a value is like an idea or a belief that yes I love you and I know what that means to love you and we both understand that same idea. An insecurity is like you feeling that you don’t love the person anymore or you are starting to lose interest and/or if you feel as though your partner is losing interest and love for you. If that doesn’t make sense I can try to explain it better just lmk but that’s how I see it.
ideals, same pageness, feeling reciprocation unnecessary (sum wise sage said the highest type of love is that of loving someone without feeling the need to have that love reciprocated/ given back, the type of love perhaps that faithfuls feel for God, or parents feel for theirs children); ---- insecurity makes you feel unvaluable, that one person is a whole book, while you're just a page. That you have nothing to give other than what's on the page, while others have everything, despite everyone of us being pages aspiring for completion, but mostly running out of ink. (its okay, blank pages are valuable too, as alternative endings and insertions) This is true in a social group sense, where you indeed are a page that gets read & turned easily, while the group is the full book, but a book with few or no pages is useless, is just a cover. The page itself contain the information, and each page adds its own detail than make the book/group/relation have meaning.
Thanks Dr K. ♥️, this is exactly what ruined my last relationship. I have wanting to get over my insecurities and stop looking for reassurance in others.
Dr.K: Reckful killed himself because someone in his chat wrote: kys, and he felt that. Y ppl be bad? Im write a paper on this. Reckful: be smaller brother which ensues inferiority complex and constantly trying to prove himself, having two older brothers, which also means he got treated diff.; lose bigger brother when 7, leaving byron in a love/hate relationship with himself (regarding his brother -prove/if's) be insecure due to parents spoiling to compensate for their own shortcomings&continual wallow in sadness, not seeing that much meaning in life due to being affected with its repercussions from a very young age. Struggling to find a lasting relation.Reminisce and live in nostalgia about a video game that made him prove him his FIRE & add to his temperament (time passes, Asherons servers close, then Wow, which stopped being a thing). Unable to quench his temperament and his childhood's constant crave of prove himself over or to his sibs/peers., not able to find lasting meaning when you already lost something very close, multiple times in a row (brother, hobby, sum girl, place). Be of the opinion that life is unfair , that you can count on your hand the things you can find to do in life, that don't require a life's time investment. ... .... but no, it's that one guy in his chat that convinced him to lose it.
@Staeker JP That "long ass comment" is a summation of Reckful's life. You're basically saying "Do you think that people really care about Reckful? they just do it for social recognition, and use his death to promote themselves" Sorry for being boring, but Im quite sure you're only hating it because it appears edited. The formatting on that comment does suck thou, but I already did 3 comments today and in no mood to text format. It was shorter BEFORE I edited, ALSO no one is FORCING you to click Read more .... ... the first part conveys the idea enough ... so what's your actual problem with it?
Me too! Starving myself. I’m doubting if I take it to too much of an extreme though. It feels like developping an avoidant attachment. You have this too?
This is really interesting. It made me realize that there are insecurities that I learned to tolerate about myself and that’s how I overcame them. I guess in that sense it validates that and encourages me to continue with this approach of not seeking satisfaction of that desire/insecurity? At the same time it also made me realize that yes, I’m very targeted by this video. I may have improved a little bit in the past years but the fact is I’m someone who avoids myself with video games and uses approval on the internet to feel better. In fact, that’s part of why I’m writing this comment right now, I’d be lying if I wasn’t hoping this gets likes and I get the dopamine rush. But hopefully it’s also somewhat cathartic for me to express how this video made me reflect on my own situation.
i do not mean to personally attack
Also like, comment, and subscribe it helps us not be insecure
I feel reassured..... more please.
I want to try coaching. Is there a way to pay for one or two sessions just to try it out?
Currently coaching is in 1-month subscriptions. Can I ask what kind of information you hope to get from trying it out? Perhaps I can help (this is french from HG, hi)
It's so true, I would rather get a C than try my best and get a B cuz I don't want reassurance that I'm not good enough to get an A.
:)
I feel personally targeted. But I'm too insecure to complain about it.
you've come to the right place
Bruh momentum
Someone put this on a tshirt so i can buy it and never wear it in public.
90 people were!
😮 same
I cant believe my LoL teammates were right all along when they kept telling me to STOP FEEDING ... thanks Dr. K
cant believe these fools were right
Lmao
Actually got a chuckle out of me haha
Love how fitting your profile pic is to your comment
@@I_am_oLii lol youre right. good catch :D
This kind of professional sounding advice with TWITCH CHAT on the side is surreal.
We’ve come a long way from the e-thot era lol
@@B3Smooth that’s still here and it’s NOT going away
@@thewiseowl8804 I think it did go away
Damn, I just realized I am terrified of putting my self out there. I kept just blaming it on being introverted, and needing less social interactions than most but in reality I am just terrified if I do put myself out there I won't be good enough for the people around me. I won't be someone worth being around or loving.
I am so yikes lmao
damn bruh i feel the same way :
Same, the crippling fear of failure/rejection weighing heavy down on me and I end up paralyzed not being able to do anything, even though the only way to get through it is actually putting myself out there and face those rejections.
You're preaching to the quire! This is exactly how I feel.
It's awesome that there's like minded people out there. We should start a discord or something, maybe play among us together.
@@JuanMartinez-ye8ug I have discord and I play among us too :D
"Stop fighting yesterdays battles today"
Love that advice.
Great video, very helpful
Time stamp?
@ been awhile since I’ve seen this video but still helpful .. 6:54
Thanks Man ! ❤️
1:10 seconds in and i feel personally attacked. I'm a software engineer and have always felt that I'm decently intelligent but am terrified of applying for new jobs cuz I'm afraid they'll reject me and then it'll mean i'm actually stupid, which is so stupid and i'm working on it (obviously only one person can get the job), but to hear someone else put it into words so concisely hits home and helps me think about it logically. Really appreciate the the work you put in doc, i know it helps me and lots of others.
hope you feel better dude gl
Bro same ... if I got rejected means I was right I don't belong in the field
I really appreciate these summaries after the end of the videos. I've been meaning to rewatch past streams and take notes during it, so this is a great help. Thanks for your work!
@@Tocinos I just keep re-watching some of his videos that make most sense to me. I've no need to take notes, I have a video shortlist of all his most helpful videos.
Honestly, so many things he says are so helpful. What he is doing with the coaching is also a great thing. I'm 100% sure that in the next few years I'm gonna try the coaches out for like a month and see how they are.
Same! Summarizing after streams was a great idea
8:27 dr. k is more burst healing and his coaches are more healing over time.
Dr. Ks critical hits with combo multiplier
Wait until the new update, Dr K will be able to res
@@brainer5457 hope it doesnt get nerfed
Solid regen
To the homie at Summit Climbing Gym in Denton who saw and complimented my HealthyGamerGG shirt yesterday - sorry I didn't stop to chat for longer. I had friends waiting for me outside. I hope you see this and I'm glad you enjoy Dr. K as much as I have :D Can't believe someone recognized it the very firs time I wore my shirt!
this sounds like a wholesome story :)
Denton TX?
Andrew Luong yep! :)
@@TheMrMunch Dallas, but I might show up one day.
cringe
Insecurity
You try to reassure that it's false
But the insecurity is on the inside so you can't fix it from the outside
Stop feed it from the outside
Because youll become more and more dependent on the outside signals
So you end up feeling good one day and shitty the next day, depending on how the outside world happens
You feel powerless
Just sit with it and tolerate the hunger
Waiting game- it will feed thoughts in your head
Mirror and candle
Look at candle and the thoughts will go
Then look at yourself and the thoughts come back
Dr K has been helping me so much. I’ve been downloading his videos and interviews in mp3 and listening to them on the way to school every morning and even sometimes during lunch. I’ve actually started feeling better about myself and.. started feeling more hopeful? Like I actually can overcome my insecurities and anxiety and actually move forward in life. I hope this feeling lasts :)
Shiiit same here ☠☠
My guy
You know what hope is??
Hope has two components: pathway and agency. To feel hope, you need to identify an actionable path and feel able to accomplish it
Basically you’ve started to find a way forward.
Good for you
Don’t look for hope to last forever ( it won’t), it’s something that you can create again and again
I listen to them while playing League haha
same here man, same here
That's awesome!
I sat in front of my mirror with a candle in the dark and started seeing shit behind me. Not doing that anymore
lol you got caught in the phenomenon that sucks
bro what
You don't need to be in dark lmao
My name is Zak Bagans and these are our Candle adventures.
If you look in the mirror for long enough I'm pure darkness your mind will eventually start seeing things and ur face will come off weird because...it's dark and some people actually have really bad PTSD from that cuz they start thinking they saw something in themselves lol
My favorite thing about you Dr. K is that you tell your patients to observe themselves, to bask in a new experience, to breathe and be self aware of every action that brought you to that state. You are making people aware of themselves, showing them that there is a road to take rather than walk through the weeds. Really appreciate your existence.
I'm not a gamer. I found the channel because of Reckful's therapy sessions with Dr K. When I found out that Byron passed, I promised myself that I would carry on living in his honor. I was at the lowest point in my life and i wanted to die too. I have to say that watching these videos is super helpful. I journal now and try to apply to myself what I learn from this channel
I wish you all the strength to carry on! For byron and more importantly for yourself
I’m not a gamer, either :) i don’t think you are required to have a video game addiction just to watch him. It’s great that you are finding comfort in these videos!
we all support your journey!!
Your channel looks really good.
this is the best channel on youtube
Dr K, I want to sincerely thank you. I've struggled with addiction in one form or another for as long as I can remember, and because of my work schedule and money issues rehab has never been an option. These videos, especially the meditation ones, and the community you created (i used to be very active in your discord) have been extremely helpful in learning to live with myself sober.
So the key to overcoming my insecurities is playing Bloody Mary, thank you Dr K!
So thats why when i was a young teenager i texted strangers online all day and then one day i randomly stopped cuz no matter how many compliments i got i still felt like shit and talking to ppl became draining cuz i started to think they were liars and i still think they r liars. Now i just let myself get worse and worse and don't bother doing anything abt it.
me: reads title
also me: oh ho ho! a video about me!
Everytime
Video: ho HO! you're approaching me ? Instead of running away you're coming right to me ?
This is golden, He managed to sum up simple concepts that are changing my life and that can be life changing for every human being.
Having self-worth and faith in yourself is one of the fundamentals of a good life.
I love this guy. I will share with people who need this.
At the a young age, I experienced emotional bullying and manipulation by others. In ten years of age, I begin to hate those people who manipulated me and the others around me, as a result I become alone. I become more insecure and jealous of others, hoping to get attention and also seek revenge. I hated the world just because society had hated me. Then one time, my sister annoyed me by putting more burden in my back and showing off my insecurities, I got so enrage that I got the knife in the kitchen and went to her with killing intent. I liked her expression experiencing fear , but I stopped and thought of the consequences so I stopped running towards her. I question myself "Why did I not do it?" "Its so easy to kill, are you dumb?" All of the questions appeared in my mind.
That moment is just a major stepping stone for my character development for who I am today.
I am still 15 yrs old, but my personality makes me mistaken as a life coach.
We just differ in the way we see ourselves and the world. Reality beating us until we hit rock bottom makes us learn new things.
Note: Sorry for my bad grammar. As long as you guys understand it's fine right?!
don''t worry about grammar remember the nazis lost.
If you still care about what others think of you think to yourself "should i care about what these specific people say?"
also just because someone has an opinion about you doesn't mean they are right.
I feel like today I have a problem about worry for people too much. They call me annoying for being concerned about others. Sometimes I thought of finding a way to communicate to them as a different person and hide my emotions. I still have trouble analyzing people's different thought process which is my problem from the start. Hopefully, things will be solved. Thanks for reading my comment.
Went trough the same shit but without the sister and knife
This is so counter-intuitive, i literally clicked with the mindset of "hmm i don't rlly think im insecure, wait, no maybe i'am huuh.....?" lmao great one
It is an insecurity, it has to be dealt with from the inside, it is not an outsecurity
Outsecurities are stuff like food and shelter 💪
"I'm gonna stomp these noobs. I'm gonna show everyone."
Dr K. For President!
Wish.
Thanks Dr. K. It’s like you read my mind.
I got on academic probation in medical school this morning and I got close to crying when my academic advisor was explaining the severity of the situation. Wondered why I was so emotional when I already knew the situation. At this moment, I think it’s because I’ve always been insecure about not being smart enough so I’m sensitive to external opinions on my performance/intelligence. Anyways I’ll be sure to try that candle meditation and try to be confident from within.
I’m headed to that same direction. What’s your situation now
@@aryan7767 Good luck with what you're going through and thanks for asking. Currently I finished 2nd year and am preparing to take STEP. So it's very possible to get out of probation. I did it by changing the way I studied, testing myself with questions, staying consistent, and asking classmates or professors if I didn't understand a concept. Stay strong, you'll get past this even though it's stressful right now. Keep me updated and I hope everything works out :)
I remember used to hate the way i look but i found the answer. I dont think i deserve love, but i improve everyday. Thanks dr k. I almost died long ago and felt stuck since then. But i learn alot from ur content. Its not my fault anymore love u drk
I tried this for the first time today (the mirror candle thing) and I have to say that there were so many insecurities bottled up inside me that came out, I almost made myself cry. I just want to thank you, Dr. K because I know that over time, this will change me
It's hard to convince yourself, let alone others that they need to self reflect in order to acknowlege their insecurities, but I like that you frame it like a necessity, like water etc. School often doesn't teach inner harmony, self acceptance and improvement. I wish it had taught me these things.
Absolutely crazy how much I relate to what he is saying... don't know where I would be without Dr K's videos.
Hey Dr. K, I’m currently working on my Associate’s in Psychology, and hoping to work up to a Master’s. Your vids have helped me make many connections with concepts I’ve learned in class, and I really appreciate you bringing awareness to mental health, especially in the gaming community.
This is incredible advice! I used to be very insecure about my apearance, years ago. I basically did what you explained, and it went away after a few months of daily man to mirror therapy :D
You are saving lives Dr.K. what a blessing.
Keep up the amazing work!
Uhhhh Unclear instruction. Accidently summoned a demonic dog while doing the candle and mirror practice. What do I do next Dr. K
I'm a certified psychiatrist, with PHD on demonic rituals. Try reversing the process by burning the entirity of the residence and claiming Jesus Christ as your lord and savior.
If this doesn't work, be sure to NOT feed your soul to the hellspawn. Good luck.
Simple, just dont feed the demon.
How does the demonic dog make you feel? Sit with that feeling, let it come up, then turn your attention to the candle and let the demonic dog wash away. Repeat this process until you can sit comfortably with the demonic dog and it doesn't have power over you.
Prepare the sacrifice. It prefers virgins
Focus your attention on the demonic dog, then back to the mirror. Repeat. Hope that demonic dog does not try to eat you.
I tried the mirror exercise, but now I feel like I"m slowly melting and I find my candle ugly.
Lmao
It’s really hard to focus on this candle. Too many thoughts of judgment and insecurity after posting a photo of myself on isntagram
Since I "tried to figure myself out" it only got worse. Even just taking a shower is scary because I'm only with my thoughts there (and they're leveled up by now, more advanced enemies). Distracting myself (with work, games, whatever, keeping busy) is the only thing which seems to be working. Don't know if this tip is a good idea to do...
You probably have to see the difference between getting busy with important stuff, about work or studies then that's a healthy escape from your thoughts. Everyone has these dark thoughts. Knowledge is a curse but also a way to the cure. Love yourself and take things easy, sometimes i laugh to how stupid, ugly and mean some of my thoughts are about myself
yeah, this is pretty much the reason why i spend every hour of the day out of work watching youtube
People fail to mention about being mindful that... Sometimes it gets a lot worse before it gets better. You're dealing with repressed emotions/thoughts, so it's only natural when you face them that you will have to deal with some extreme feelings. But if you power through and don't go back to repressing, find healthy habits that replace screen time, working out, etc., you will come out the other side MUCH MUCH better for it. But I'm not a therapist, just a guy who has been there lol. Stay strong brother.
I can completely relate with running away from myself and distracting myself with TH-cam , games , whatnot .But I guess at some point I felt so meaningless and like a half dead person just observing others(still do)that I became desparate to figure my truth out. Somehow the idea "truth will set you free" planted itself firmly in my mind. So now I'm desparate to figure myself out.
@@zrav2918 *TL:DR - Also for all of the others I haven't replied to, thank you for the kind words. Recently I started (again) checking out the stuff of the Dalai Lama - I admire the guy - and somehow connected dots between "ego" and most of my problems. Reading books daily and reminding myself of his teachings daily acts as a "meditation" for me every morning nowadays.*
This is going to be a bit of a stretch so bare with me. Since my initial comment, I've once randomly went to a book store with a friend just to look around, and I've found a book called "The Dalai Lama's Cat and The Four Paws of Spiritual Success". After a couple of days of reading that I found myself I'm listening to lectures from the DL almost daily. I have to state I'm really NOT a spiritual guy by any means, but his thoughts/teachings always interested me.
Here comes the weird part: the key thing I got out the videos and the book (for myself) is that I think I'm starting to understand how "ego" is affecting almost every part of our lives, or at least mine. This was the only thing I had to reflect on that how much ego influences most of my thoughts daily. I've only started to implement (parts of) some of his teachings into my daily routines, but I'm experiencing an enormous change in how I view everything - including myself. For a quick-silly example, for the morning poop I'm not bringing my phone to look at depressing news or dumb memes or drama or whatever, but bring a book. It's sort of my version of "meditation", where I simply calm my mind and not thinking about the rushing issues of the everydays. So now I also start to understand what Dr. K. means when he talks about how OP meditation can be. By no means I got optimistic, but a bit more peaceful with myself for sure.
i stopped looking at myself on the mirror and stopped taking pictures for like a whole year, and after like the first few months i realized it wasnt so bad, i was so focused on what was wrong/what i looked like and wanting it to stop that i became obsessed, it was taking a huge toll on me, so yeah, i just sat with it, id be like "well i didnt see myself on the mirror so i dont know if i look good nor do i know if i look bad" and just accepted it, and now i can look at myself and whatever i know i can "fix" (like losing weight, cuz i gained a few kg) i just do it, but the rest i just came to accept it, also seeing other people that look like us, like im insecure about my chin, and i saw other people with the same chin who made jokes about it and just didnt care about theirs, and that helped me become okay with it, even if nobody's reassuring me, just knowing im not the only one and seeing those other people be happy even with that same chin motivates me and reassures me, i dont ask for validation, but also i realized that the person who cares the most about how i look is myself. everytime i noticed something, people hadnt even noticed nor did they care, like id have the tiniest stain on my shirt and complain about it and feel terrible thinking i ruined my shirt and that i look like shit and that everyone will notice the stain, and when i say it others are like i didnt even notice it its so tiny. ofc if youre obsessed with your appearance your world will start to revolve around that, and youre gonna think everyone thats around you is too, that they also think like you, but no, youre so focused that you cant see things from an outside perspective and even if people tell you its okay you think theyre lying or just trying to make you feel better when in reality most people just dont give a shit lmao, and those who make shitty comments are always the ones who are ALSO focused way too much on their own appearance
but again, instead of forcing myself to look at myself and correct my posture or hold in my stomach or fix my hair or whatever once i stopped looking i slowly stopped doing those things, stopped caring, and ended up accepting that yeah sometimes i look like shit and its okay, and literally nobody fuckin cares lmao
Absolutely spot on. We’re always our own worst critics :)
Great video! The only thing I would like to add, from my limited experience, is that it takes a lot of time to untangle the insecurities inside. I've found that finding the 'switch' as Dr. K portrays it is a lot harder than it sounds...
"Flex on these guys"
I was laughing at that. Would have been better if he said "Flex on these fools"
Thanks for this video. I've been struggling a lot with insecurity, especially recently in quarantine, but watching these videos is like getting really solid advice from a good friend. Looking forward to trying the candle/mirror exercise.
❤
i find this intriguing because i just had that sad powerless feeling and idk why but now listening to this, everything makes sense. thank you Dr.
Thank you for this! I needed this to jump right back to my life 🙏 God bless you!
"No one is more youer than you." -Dr. Seuss
Hearing Dr.K in this video and the loneliness video makes feel how my life has just been so dull for the last 2-3 years.
if you were happy for the last 2-3 years,then it's certainly not dull man.
Dr k you are an amazing person you literally speak out well and helpful
I’m too smart to do this assignment right now, I’ll just attempt it right before the due date... feels
Thats just laziness and procrastination, an entirely different problem that a lot of us deal with.
@@razatiger22 You should probably check out what Dr K has to say about laziness and procrastination.
@@razatiger22 as im am sitting here right now, i have 5 hours to deliver an assignment, and i'm only halfway through
You have no idea how much i needed this
Insecurity is the last seal that horrible childhood places on your mind to make sure your life will be always a misery, no matter what you achieve.
I feel like i am so poor i can't afford to be insecure ...
Damn, I got it for free
Hah
the bullet points of things like this were scattered in my mind, but you connected them perfectly, Dr. K, And made it much easier to understand
5:23 I did this late at night. And my mother thought I was summoning demons.
Thank you Dr.K! Your real talk really helped me to start thinking about my insecurities and to face it in the most realistic way. As a recent graduate in this pandemic, find meaningful works was nearly impossible for me. Having no stable income, being independent of my parents and peers found their stable jobs made me question my worth and capabilities, whether I was wasting my time in university instead of finding a job before. I have started looking for other jobs, more labour/casual type of employments to earn some income for now. I need to survive through this pandemic first, build up my interpersonal skills and be more confident in myself; Then I can start looking for the industry-related jobs that I desired. I know you may not read this, but again thank you for the talk.
You've helped me a lot to understand myself, thank you.
This is literally me. I always feel like I need to be talking to some attractive girl who's interested in me to prove to myself that I'm still desirable.
Ikr relying on others to prove something to you is horrible.
Thank you for consistently putting these videos out. They have helped me a lot with anxiety and insecurity issues in my day to day life. Keep healing K, your doing great work!
I must say, not related to the subject itself (which is interesting btw), your videos got easier to watch over time. I mean, the new partially relaxed tone of the voice is really an improvement over the older videos. I tried watching some of those, but no matter how much I turned down the volume, and no matter how interesting the subject was, most of the times I couldn't just minimize the video and listen to the discussion in the background because it required 100% of my focus. Congrats on improving this aspect of the stream!
Lost my dad to suicide last week you’re videos always help thanks.
Honestly - its very reassuring to hear this. Its great to know I don't have to go out chasing happiness with things that are like holding sand. It always feels like i have to achieve X,Y,Z to be happy; and sometimes i achieve these things and it never really solves anything in the long run.
Actual advice to fight insecurities. Very impressed
Pretty cool that this guy takes his time to do this for free. Good stuff.
Thank you Dr.K I really needed this.
These videos are extremely helpful and brilliantly presented in an entertaining way. Keep up the good work, you're a huge inspiration to me from Denmark
thank you Dr.K and the coaches for your help
This is literally what I was like in high school.
I'm glad I was fortunate enough to grow out of these habits.
This is something I needed right now. Thanks Dr. K.
Actually insane how well timed this video is. Definitely something I needed to hear. Now to only apply it as well lmao
I had a emotional catharsis my first session. The program is great by the way!
This is actually very helpful man , thank you so much.
The most ironic thing about this video is that he’s live-streaming this on Twitch
Beautiful! Thank you very much :)
Thanks for this, Dr. K! I spend a lot of time in thought about myself and my motivations, but the idea of actually looking into my own eyes is something I've never considered. Appreciate the advice!
this is mind blowing. i have made so many realisations. very self awareness inducing
this is amazing, i love how all these people come together to help others in need
Your channel needs to boom!
I just came out of a relationship with my crush of 4 years. I reflected on everything I did wrong and realised I was hugely secure and needed her to keep reminding me she loved me and that she liked me. She's gone now. I will never get her back. I want to be happy with myself but I have issues with self image. I also have issues talking to anyone about my problems and I always hesitate to get help.
Edit: I wanted to know if this coaching would be at all appropriate for insecurity and issues with empathy?
@Growtopia Mods You are right, but 4 years is over 20% of my life. I have hurt myself before over things out of my hands and I have to learn how to be happy within myself and be more empathetic but I'm not fully sure how.
this just appeared out of nowhere on my recommendation homepage. well well well, did TH-cam check on my diary or something.
the thing is, I know I'm insecure about myself, but then, when I unintentionally asking for reassurance, and get it, I immediately felt wrong and 'uh, i dont want this, that's wrong, I know that's not true, that's a lie, you just wanted to comfort me blabla'.
I'll practice more and try to not feeding from external approval and tolerate my shitty self. Thank you.
Just the thought of staring at my face in the mirror and allowing myself to tolerate and sit with the emotions that I have been ignoring and avoiding for a very long time scares me so much but I think that's the reason I'm so dependant on the outside world. I'm scared but for the first time, I feel like I'm getting help and it's helping me.
This was great. Thank you as always
How, this actually explains a LOT about me the more I think about it...
-Some days I feel like absolute crap and others I feel great
-I've spent by far most of my life on the internet
-I try too hard to fight yesterday's battles
Damn thanks Dr. K :)
Dr K, thank you. For everything.
I remember there is a ritual where you take a candle and stand in front of mirror during midnight, and then say “Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary” I forgot what’s next, the people say it will summon Bloody Mary who tears your face off. I remember been traumatized and dare not go to toilet during midnight, even at clock that has a number representing bad luck and death I am not going to the toilet.
ty i needed this pretty badly
So right, thank you Dr. K
i fucking love you bro. this was a good introduction to your content. ❤️
What's the difference between insecurities in a relationship, values for a relationships if the values are there to see that both love each other and that both should follow?
An insecurity is something that makes you feel like the relationship isn’t right and a value is something that both of you share, an idea that you agree on. (That’s how I see in, idk if u get what I mean). So a value is like an idea or a belief that yes I love you and I know what that means to love you and we both understand that same idea. An insecurity is like you feeling that you don’t love the person anymore or you are starting to lose interest and/or if you feel as though your partner is losing interest and love for you. If that doesn’t make sense I can try to explain it better just lmk but that’s how I see it.
ideals, same pageness, feeling reciprocation unnecessary (sum wise sage said the highest type of love is that of loving someone without feeling the need to have that love reciprocated/ given back, the type of love perhaps that faithfuls feel for God, or parents feel for theirs children); ---- insecurity makes you feel unvaluable, that one person is a whole book, while you're just a page. That you have nothing to give other than what's on the page, while others have everything, despite everyone of us being pages aspiring for completion, but mostly running out of ink. (its okay, blank pages are valuable too, as alternative endings and insertions) This is true in a social group sense, where you indeed are a page that gets read & turned easily, while the group is the full book, but a book with few or no pages is useless, is just a cover. The page itself contain the information, and each page adds its own detail than make the book/group/relation have meaning.
Khajiit Hadwares yes what you said. U definitely explained it better than me, thx.
Wow this is true bliss, I love how this channel is here to truelly help others 😊👍
Thanks Dr K. ♥️, this is exactly what ruined my last relationship. I have wanting to get over my insecurities and stop looking for reassurance in others.
Dr. K: FLEXING = BAD
Also Dr K: My coaches aren't as good as me
Lol I was thinking that
Well, the hardest part about giving advice is living by it yourself.
Its that built in humor that we all have! Its relatable
Dr.K: Reckful killed himself because someone in his chat wrote: kys, and he felt that. Y ppl be bad? Im write a paper on this.
Reckful: be smaller brother which ensues inferiority complex and constantly trying to prove himself, having two older brothers, which also means he got treated diff.; lose bigger brother when 7, leaving byron in a love/hate relationship with himself (regarding his brother -prove/if's)
be insecure due to parents spoiling to compensate for their own shortcomings&continual wallow in sadness, not seeing that much meaning in life due to being affected with its repercussions from a very young age.
Struggling to find a lasting relation.Reminisce and live in nostalgia about a video game that made him prove him his FIRE & add to his temperament (time passes, Asherons servers close, then Wow, which stopped being a thing).
Unable to quench his temperament and his childhood's constant crave of prove himself over or to his sibs/peers., not able to find lasting meaning when you already lost something very close, multiple times in a row (brother, hobby, sum girl, place).
Be of the opinion that life is unfair , that you can count on your hand the things you can find to do in life, that don't require a life's time investment. ... .... but no, it's that one guy in his chat that convinced him to lose it.
@Staeker JP That "long ass comment" is a summation of Reckful's life. You're basically saying "Do you think that people really care about Reckful? they just do it for social recognition, and use his death to promote themselves" Sorry for being boring, but Im quite sure you're only hating it because it appears edited. The formatting on that comment does suck thou, but I already did 3 comments today and in no mood to text format. It was shorter BEFORE I edited, ALSO no one is FORCING you to click Read more .... ... the first part conveys the idea enough ... so what's your actual problem with it?
I feel like that's exactly what I needed to hear, this problem is so true in my life. Thanks, Dr. K, I'll work on it
A very nice and informative video. Thank you
What the actual fuck! This makes so sense and so doable to make some improvement on. I appreciate u
Needed this one Dr. K thank you!
Man .. I love you .. pls keep up the awesome work you are doing
Thank you Dr. K!
Thank you, spent alot of time processing alot, really appreciate this video
Thank your for making such a clear, helpful explanation!
i'm extremely insecure, but i do the opposite - i rather *starve* myself then seeking out being *fed*. how does that work?
Me too! Starving myself. I’m doubting if I take it to too much of an extreme though. It feels like developping an avoidant attachment. You have this too?
This was actually really insightful for me. Thanks
This is really interesting. It made me realize that there are insecurities that I learned to tolerate about myself and that’s how I overcame them. I guess in that sense it validates that and encourages me to continue with this approach of not seeking satisfaction of that desire/insecurity? At the same time it also made me realize that yes, I’m very targeted by this video. I may have improved a little bit in the past years but the fact is I’m someone who avoids myself with video games and uses approval on the internet to feel better. In fact, that’s part of why I’m writing this comment right now, I’d be lying if I wasn’t hoping this gets likes and I get the dopamine rush. But hopefully it’s also somewhat cathartic for me to express how this video made me reflect on my own situation.
"The things you need to show everyone are the things you don't believe about yourself"
Subscribed. Great video man