BPD Symptoms Nobody Mentions | Borderline Personality Disorder
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024
- Hello everyone, thank you for clicking on this video! I want to express that everything discussed in this video is from my own experience, thoughts, and opinions - everyone is unique and experiences different circumstances.
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I'm ALWAYS imagining worst case scenarios. Absolutely exhausting, dark and sad. Non stop thoughts about things going wrong...pretty much every day...most of the time.
Me too!
@rjebus2382 I know this is what everyone always says BUT I've been consistently excercising for about 6 months now and this has DRASTICALLY reduced these compulsive worries and thoughts...I always thought it was silly when people said to "excercise it'll make things better" but turns out after 25 years of NOT...once I started..life changing. Highly recommend.
It's so tiring I just wna die
@plaster.art.ho3, IKR?
Me too. I thought I had ocd
OMG, I don't remember most of my childhood either. and the whole "put the trauma in the box and stick it somewhere in the back of my head": YES. YES. YES. I do it. And in some cases, this was combined with dissociative amnesia so I could only deal with things years and years later. Thank you for this video, because I have some of these symptoms you are describing and I had no idea it was a BPD thing (or maybe it isn't, don't know). Thank you so much.
That's exactly what I do! I even explained it to my therapist that way. I put trauma in a box, close it up tight and shove it into this warehouse in my head. I don't go into the warehouse. I don't poke the boxes. I'm not qualified to be mucking around in there.
That "box" is your Subconscience
I had a really bad mental breakdown today enough for my parents to try and send me to the hospital. I tried to communicate how I was feeling mutilple times calmy and clearly. I increasingly got more upset and eventually I was told I was overreacting. I told my father to stop because I was becoming overwhelmed. He basically said I couldn't handle the truth while practically yelling at me. I left and went psycho. It got worse once they said they were taking me away. I begged them to stop and no one would look at me or listen to me. I felt so helpless.. I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified of getting therapy and not being understood. I don't know why I'm sharing this much but I don't think it's ever been this bad before. I'm desperate to be understood..I feel so isolated and alone
Oh dearest one. I am so sorry. Sending warm hugs
I am a male Borderline, but everything you have spoken about, I have experienced it. I have suffered nothing but invalidation and sexual abuse most of my early life from members of my family, yet somehow borderlines are stigmatized as bad people, yet we are the victims of other people's abuse. This is one of the reasons why DBT doesn't work for me
It's because you're a narcissist. Bpd is just an aware Narcissist. Most don't want help or use it as an excuse for bad behaviour.
@@annwethenorth Could you elaborate a bit more? I saw you comment on another video. I do get the impression that narcisism are bdp are two forms of the same thing
@@annwethenorth Interesting. I am new to trying to understand this subject due to a sick friend. If what you are saying is true, it’s very important to know.
Frankly, no one should think of themselves as a good person nor judge others as bad people. Humility should be the goal if you want peace, love, and mental health.
@@annwethenorth You’ve clearly had a bad experience to demonise this mental illness, huh?
Hey ive never seen your videos before but today I had a really bad episode, I moved in with my boyfriend last year and got away from my mother and stepdad who gave me this trauma. However my bf has autism and adhd, both of us are untreated so fights can be very explosive. I got in the bath to relax a few minutes ago and this video popped up. Thank you for validating the way I feel, im sick of being told im just having a 'temper tantrum' when im genuinely suffering most of the time and just want people to help me. Subscribing now, because you described everything I struggle too describe
I feel the not being able to relax thing x And hyperawareness, like feeling like you're so aware of people's tones or wording or of your surroundings >< The BPD rage this is so rough, because when i'm in that state i'm usually aware that i'm in it and it's still hard to be kind to myself and try and pull myself out of it.
I have never related with anyone more in my life. I've like tried to write something profound... I'm at a loss for words. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I'm 30 and got diagnosed at 29. Just trying to live life. I'm excited to share your videos with my partner to gain a little more perspective. Thanks a bunch. I look forward to someone's videos now!!! Much love from the US.
about starting fights you just clarified it to me, thanks. my mom is adorable and she tries to start conversations but we always end up in discussion because I get so easily irritated , like ANYTHING can just make me blow up... I feel so guilty 😞
I am a man with BPD and a former police officer. I am really uncomfortable with other people being imperfect but am even more uncomfortable with my own imperfections. Also in recovery from PTSD and drug/alcohol abuse. Paxil seems to help me with the OCD/intrusive thoughts. I have never known a time when my mind wasn’t moving.
You are very brave to put forth this channel. It is interesting to hear from someone that has BPD. I think it should be called Borderline Personality Spectrum Disorder because everyone is different. Thank you for taking the time, and honesty, to reach out to others this way.
I agree with you on the racing thoughts. Did I say hello properly to some stranger 2 years ago? The hunger is the same, one day really hungry, the other have to force myself. I can tell when someone is sad or needs help, just by looking at them. I have always been a perfectionist, which is horrible because I can't function in teams projects, because I think no one is going to be able to do it right. I sometimes want to give in, I feel like I'm, sinking. My kids keep me hanging on. I say I have my trauma is in a closet in the back of my brain, I've been opening it quickly and throwing in the trauma, Now it's bursting, and I'm afraid it's going to explode open and I will not be able to pick up all the crap, and not get buried beneath it.
It’s difficult to not be allowed to fail as a child
Thanks dad
Thank you!! what you said about not being able to relax and especially having vivid dreams!! thank you for choosing to share your lived experience, are there more vids you could link me too about how you worked with those aspects of bpd in terms of self care, social life, productivity, family, job, hobbies, study etc?
Oh my god I feel that. I don’t want to die but sometimes I’m so ready for silence! And the being perfect part and not trying anything because I don’t want to fail and feel like shit. I always have been perceptive to people, surroundings etc… girl you feel me!! Especially the not dealing with problems- they get ugly and come out
Yeah. We can sense vibes and we knw when someone doesn't like us
Thank you so much for this video!! I am recently tentatively diagnosed and have started DBT and attachment work. This is so relatable.
When you mentioned racing thoughts, it made me think of how my emotions determine my dreams. Airport, hospital - anxious, grammas house, in nature/outside - calm/happiness, old house - fear, on the road - nervous/worrisome, lake - stressed out...
Am I the only one???!!
Ive just been diagnosed... the first three rang all the bells! So annoying with these guys hunger swings... I think you were able to put in words how I feel and I was never able to phrase like this.. specially about the racing and suicidal thoughts! It’s exactly like that!!!!
I’m also super observant and vigilant 😅
These resources have been incredibly helpful! I'm planning to share them with my wife because I see many similarities, and I think she'll be able to relate to them. She really needs someone to talk to who doesn't have an ulterior motive. Someone who understands and isn't just trying to get into her pants (like her new bestie). He claims to be gay and transgender, but I see right through the facade. I mean, think about it for a second - if he's truly a transgender man who identifies as gay, then wouldn't he be interested in women? Exactly! He proudly displays a pride flag and says it's because he likes men, but he identifies as a transgender woman. It just doesn't make sense! Sorry for going off on a tangent, but I feel powerless to protect my wife from this creep who's sleeping at her place. She really needs someone who understands to talk to. I'm so thankful I came across your page!
The arguent facts you speak about are a nightmare alot of the time. We start arguments for no reason and can stop them on an instant. And those we argued with are like what the fk. We Gona finish this. And we don’t want to know anymore. Causes alot of unsolved stress
I have bpd, but i don't necessarily want to die. But since my early teens i constantly think about death and i vividly imagine my death, and what would happen if i died
I totally get this, I’ve come to my own conclusion that it’s because when parts of your body are sick your brain sends signals to kill the things making you sick. Since our brain is making us sick it’s sending signals to itself to kill itself. We don’t want to die we just want the pain to stop :(
@@GLOsLife yeah, but for me it's more in a "i'm terrified of dying, so it would be better to not have been born at all"
Omg!! That eyeshadow is so cute!! 😊 I was diagnosed at 14 then my daughter was diagnosed at 12 and our relationship whew, whole different story. We are together every day and she is 21 now with her own daughters. I been self isolating for a while and ughhh. I dont have any friends but her and my husband. I have friends from middle school but they live far and I been isolating lost my job and so much.
And my brother killed him self in jail in august. But ya anyway great video.
Being perceptive is super clutch.
Wow. Thank GOD for your video. I think I may start to make TH-cams on my journey since I was just diagnosed at 35 with BPD and Bipolar 1. I also started DBT and met one person that has BPD and just hearing you and her, it is probably the first time in my life where someone can relate to my core inner self. It makes me sad I've gone my whole life not really knowing what is it that makes me so different and I'm really grateful you were vulnerable to share. Can you tell me how you spell the medication you're on and how long you've been taking it? I'm considering taking it should DBT not help me.
Thank you for this video, and for mentioning Quetiapine. I hadn't heard of it before, and it's good to know about.
Now that I've completed the video, I have a couplefew more things to say:
There is a med called Prazosin which is used to blunt the neurochemical effects of traumatic dreams, and that may help you!
It's also worth looking into Lithium Orotate, which is kinda the much safer OTC supplement cousin to the stuff used for folks with Bipolar, and is also showing some recent uses in Borderline as well!
Finally, there is a fairly new form of therapy, different from things like EMDR or CBT, which is starting to build traction in America right now: The group is called 22Zero; they have a TH-cam channel which is... vague, frankly, but they show interviews with various people who are routinely exposed to traumatic events in the line of their work duties, and they are confidently endorsing the method. If you wanted to talk about it more, I gladly will, but right now I'm just hitting the important points. Since this video is a year old, you may have already moved on to other treatments entirely by now!
I really relate, I struggle with BPD too. The perfect thing
OMC!!! I resonate so much with all of this! I did know a lot of it, but I didn't even realize the whole food and eating thing was actually a part of it. That explains so much about my eating habits..lol thank you for this video!
I also feel like I can relate to all you are saying. Thank you for your videos 💖 you're such a beautiful person.
I can relate to so much of all you have said, including memory loss. mine is a bit more extreme. I don't remember bit chunks of my life in general.
i have bpd and i grew up being a pathological liar and having oppositional defiance disorder
Thanks for being so honest.
That's the problem people wanted me to take my meds so I can calm down right ok I do finally last year started taking them regularly what do you know it's hits them im normal calm.😮 now there fixated on me changing for the better now feel bad for feeling some relief.
im like wait i thought everyone was always runnning in their minds thinking, and doing....i cannot imagine just not thinking about something i never even discussed this with my therapist.psychiatrist. thank you
Black and white thinking is very common as well as catastrophy situation or not reframing the experience. Hence leads to impulse behavior?
The little “byeeeee” at the end man am melting 😭
You make me feel so understood I could cry.
I was watching this going 'i wonder if shes found out that shes autistic yet' and then i went to your latest videos and yes indeed you do!
Glad you got more clarity in the end, BPD treatment alone or at all, doesnt work unless we are treating the whole autistic person.
Lmao it’s so funny how we can spot each other!! 😂 after I discovered I’m autistic I met my wife and was like… have you ever considered you might be autistic? 😂
@@GLOsLife It's a 6th sense 🤣 The autistic community have better diagnostic tools than the whole of psychiatry or neurology lol!
"Thats where I found out my dad neglected and abused me" THAT PART.
When you’re angry it’s like you have it pent up that needs release. I resort to internet arguments in this case.
Lmfaoooo same!! I’ve been holding myself back and deleting my TikTok account to help me to stop arguing with idiots online but it’s like therapy isn’t it!
yep, on track.. yep, these are not usually covered and if so, not nearly as accurate
I'm so sensitive to rejection and cannot take criticism too. I struggle a lot with my emotions and i have sm passive suicidal ideation n im just soso tired of everything because they're just too much. I just wanna be done n over with life. I'm tired.
Around 841 you mentioned picking up on faces and body language, I read Borderlines can misread facial expression!
We can read body language and facial expressions well, pick up tone of voice when it changes, etc. what most ppl with bpd have difficulty interpreting neutral facial expressions and have a bias to perceive it as anger.
@@adriannamcmillan2521oh shit. Is that what's happening w my colleagues n boss rn. I have a feeling & evidence to support that my boss doesn't like me.
I feel like you're just describing me. Did you steal my diaries?
I had selective mutism as a child this went on up to me being ten years old, also I don’t remember any of my childhood.
When I was six years old my stepmother left me in a doorway with a note saying not wanted
You are wanted. We need you in this community ❤
I'm so sorry man
I love Sophie and Minnie in the background as well, they’ll be co hosts soon 😂
Yep I can identify with you darling especially the eating x
I've never felt so heard in my life
Gosh! You have the most darling smile EVER!! ☺️🥰✨
Wait, thinking all the time isn't normal?
Jeeze... You made a great video! Thank you!
Appreciate this thank you
I have BPD as well.
WHATTT some people dont think about anything?? wtf
Yeah sometimes ignorance is bliss. It's a superpower methinks Hahaga
Thankyou x
Is it possible to have bpd in middle school? Like in 7th grade? I know it’s a dumb question but I need to know. Because honestly I feel like I’m overreacting a bit 😅
Because I’m checking out every single box your covering and passed all the online tests, but if I ever asked my parents if I could go to therapy they’d
Say “ your overreacting and it costs to much, now go to sleep boy”. So now idk what to do 😕
I feel seen. 💜✨
You are really beautiful, and I don't care if you are going to hurt me,hey here's my heart,feel free to take it.
i gained 60kgs in 6 months on quetiapine its a good drug but man did i get fat fast.
60kg? How tf?
Omg wtf. I gained 11kg on mirtrazapine fr 1.7 years after lexapro 11 years
I gained this weight while being treated in the psych ward. They just let me eat what I wanted because getting my mental health back on track was more important than what I was going to put my body through. I agree to some extent but it's a life long battle to get the weight back off. It's also a consequence I radically accept.
what do you take.. q10p??
When I filmed this I believe i was taking quetiapine & sertraline but I’m currently prescribed Escitalopram which is fantastic and works so much better for me!
@@GLOsLifehey there glo! How do you find the differences and why do you like escitalopram more? Thank you for your videos, love u lots!
I have all of these patterns in my personality but I don't have bpd 🤔 that's weird , that's suspicious
Your makeup tho 👏👏👌
your so pretty
I should of skipped ahead DAMN IT😅😅😢
I thought there were 9 traits?
Nine main traits doctors look for to diagnose the patients but there are so many ways it affects people it's impossible to narrow it down to nine. Those Nine traits are just the most symptoms that overlap.
FR i cant relax at all lmao
I'm always so stressed n on high alert, guarded af n i get migraines. It's so tiring tbh
@@plaster.art.ho3 Righttt being always anxious and guarded sucks!
i cut my arms very deeply and wish that in some ways i hit a major artery , borderline will one day win 😪
You're a narcissist. You're welcome. Bpd is just another variety of Narcissism. I lost count of how many times you said "I" "me" "we". No you shouldn't give advice. At all.
Yet you think you should be advising her and giving her a diagnosis. You’re the one that sounds like a narcissist. You shouldn’t be on youtube diagnosing people you don’t know. You’re not a therapist.