Meltzer is the Skip Bayless of wrestling coverage. Only the lowest common denominator actually sees him as anything other than a caricature at this point.
“Jaguars placed 3rd in the key demo. They also have a higher field goal percentage than the Packers. Great day for them”. - Dave reporting on a 27-30 Jaguars loss to the Packers
@@yusufgazi7Meltzer is the biggest clown. He will find any excuse, as to why the are rating have went from 700,000-800,000 to now being lucky to get 600,00+ viewers
Some quotes here from Jim 🍿 "Oh come on!" "WTF is he on?!" "uh oh" after BL counted how many stars in the Ospreay/Fletcher match "oh good lord" "how does he justify this?"
Just a reminder that Sasha vs Bayley at NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn was also 4.5 stars. Dave thought Sasha vs Statlander was just as good... you can't tell me the bias isn't real.
meltzers said "Full Gear's PPV buys were up 4.1%, but no numbers have been reported yet." 2 things, if its not reported yet, how do you know the numbers? Secondly, how in the unholy fuckness, did buys go up 4.1%? what storyline drove sales?
Only Tony Khan has these numbers so you know exactly where Meltzer is getting his figures from. That psychic link mysteriously vanishes whenever the media might want to hold him accountable for anything, like say for example a bunch of talented wrestlers whose contracts AEW is holding hostage.
Welcome to another episode of Asylum Elite Wrestling. On this episode, Dave Meltzer at it again, dropping 5 stars like he's Rob Van Dam. Unfortunately, the Frog Splash hurts RVD.
The moment we’ve all been waiting for 🎉🎉 Also, it’s pretty telling how Dave gave that main event exactly 4 stars. Shows how Mox and Pockets are not it.
“An absolute classic! I cried! I cried! I clapped so hard that my hands were bleeding and my wrists snapped as well. Better than anything from Wrestle Kingdom since whenever” - Dave Meltzer after the opening match.
Mone is cringe. On Instagram a video popped up on storie tab where she is teaching the boom kids how to dance the ceo dance. The most cringe thing I've ever seen
The fact that AEW matches continue, even when they've hit multiple finishers, is EXACTLY why they look like videogame matches. Just move, after move, after move, with no rhyme or reason, no real selling, and no point to it whatsoever. They wrestle their matches the exact same way they play their wrestling videogames. They just want to have fun, common sense be damned!🤣
The real ratings for Meltzer star ratings is deducted 1 to 1.5 stars from the actual match. Unless it's a Bucks, Jericho, Manure Moans, or Pockets match then you deduct 2 stars. OceanSpreay matches you deduct 3 stars but you also have to wipe off all the semen.
Mercedes Mone and Kris Statlander are better than Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. I didn't know that. Thank goodness that Dave exists to enlighten me. Edit: so are Orange Cassidy and Neo-Moxley 2024. Very interesting new discoveries.
This may be an unanswerable question but I have to ask it because it’s what my brain wants to know, does Dave Meltzer feel nothing at going from respected to having zero credibility with anyone? even the Internet wrestling community? !!! I mean think about that for a second the community that celebrates a grown man parading around in a furry robe going Woooo 🤣🤣🤣 has decided that You have no credibility…. does uncle Dave not realize how low you have to sink to lose credibility with the Internet wrestling community? 😫😭
He still believes the Bucks and Omega are the shit in wrestling and they like him so that makes him think he is credible. To him it's everyone else that's the problem for not seeing their greatness. As Brian said awhile back, Dave's in a mid life crisis in a wrestling bubble.
“ Dave spends all day blowing bubbles….eventually bubbles will get tired of it” omg how does jim come up with these, he’s still a master at promos after all this time semi retired. 😂
Mercedes Monee vs Kris Statlander was BETTER than any Kurt Angle match? What else would you expect from Uncle Dave? 😂😂🤣🤣 Edit: And if anyone thinks this was based on "today's star ratings" well then, this was just half a star below CM Punk vs Drew McIntyre? Still, what the actual F? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Meltzer himself said crowd reaction to the match is one of the factors he uses to rate the matches yet even with little to no reaction to matches still most AEW matches get high ratings
10:30 When they did the media scrum after Full Gear, MVP total Wrestling Observer Radio "We don't answer questions from that nerd!" LOL!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that's why Uncle Dave gave Bobby Lashley like 3 stars or whatever. lol!!!!!!!!!! It WAS SO GREAT!!!!
“Christ on a cracker” is a new one. Never heard that before, and certainly didn’t think I would learn something like that here. Pleasantly surprised on all accounts.
I think Meltzer rates pro wrestling matches similar to figure skating and gymnastics. He "objectively" rates the difficulty and number of individual moves performed, and the rest doesn't matter. Ignoring stuff like psychology and selling actually helps, as that gives the wrestlers more time to perform both more moves as well as create spots that are in their moment more dynamic.
Survivor Series this past Saturday was a simple Show with simple Stories being told and the Fans in Vancouver didn't get burned out. Here it was just constant Moves and Kick Outs with Dave handing out 5 Stars like Candy but the New Jersey Crowd being burned out betore the end.
Meltzer's brain is like a web browser, 19 tabs are open, 17 are frozen, & he has no idea where the music is coming from.
😆😆😆😆
Lol!!!
Now I want an Opera GX Dave Meltzer browser where it stammers every time you open a tab. Maybe a "Brriiiaaannn!" When you close one
19 tabs is generous. More like 25-30 lol
Let me guess, he's using Google Chrome.
Travis has updated his Meltzer lol
Gotta add the old man wrinkles. He's earned them
Uncle Dave is catching up to Vince in terms of his face melting
Looks like joey diaz lol
Meltzer is slowly but surely becoming the Cryptkeeper.
He’s missing the hair dye.
That tombstone spot was the most ridiculous BS ever. That is why I hate AEW.
Meltzer is an idiot.
Travis has truly outdone himself with the artwork this time🤣🤣🤣
Meltzer is the Skip Bayless of wrestling coverage. Only the lowest common denominator actually sees him as anything other than a caricature at this point.
So does that make Bryan Alvarez Shannon Sharpe?
Wow is skip that bad (brain fried on meth)
@@gullreefclubNah, more like Nick Wright
I stated in the past that Dave Meltzer is the CNN of wrestling.
@@karikarisworld2693 he's the worst
"Mone's best match in the promotion" is a hell of a compliment to Statlander, she deserves it
And yet their ratings plummeted to 536k. Ice cold doesn't do them justice. Meltzer cant book shit
In an alternate universe, Meltzer is rating Jags games where they lost 0-50 a full 5.5* out of 5* as the most prominent NFL journalist.
With the referees errr ummm well, plans changed!
The fact that their opponents successfully completed a 2 point conversion at some point 😂😂😂😂😂😂
“Jaguars placed 3rd in the key demo. They also have a higher field goal percentage than the Packers. Great day for them”. - Dave reporting on a 27-30 Jaguars loss to the Packers
He's basically the Howard Cosell of professional combat sports!
Yes. In the Meltzerverse. 😂
He gives 4 1/4 to hangman and Jay White and I watched the whole ppv and don’t remember a thing from that match
Meltzer is a 🤡
Yet, people keep on listening to him & Keep on b!tching. Crazy people stick together
So is Brian Last
Always has been
@@yusufgazi7Meltzer is the biggest clown. He will find any excuse, as to why the are rating have went from 700,000-800,000 to now being lucky to get 600,00+ viewers
Dave is so simple. Just do a bunch of moves and kick out of them. 5 stars! ⭐️
Some quotes here from Jim 🍿
"Oh come on!"
"WTF is he on?!"
"uh oh" after BL counted how many stars in the Ospreay/Fletcher match
"oh good lord"
"how does he justify this?"
You forgot "Christ on a cracker". You can't forget that one.
I said the same words at the same time!
You forgot the best one: "Laaaazy Booking"
@@kalpeshrawat418 Not really. He didn't say it here
Just a reminder that Sasha vs Bayley at NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn was also 4.5 stars.
Dave thought Sasha vs Statlander was just as good... you can't tell me the bias isn't real.
This is the highest form of entertainment for me in 2024.
You’ve gotta love the fact that Brian runs a show that reviews wrestling programs, yet he’s not sure if he watched them and doesn’t even care.
Would have been 7 stars if it was in the Toyko Dome ✅️
Uncle Dave will always be Tony's number one fan. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2
I'm guessing Dave is doing coke with Tony. That's the only real explanation.
Would’ve been 7 if it was in the Tokyo Dome.
Travis has been so on point with Dave’s drip lately 😅
🥱
Modern weird uncle drip
I wish Dave fought with people on twitter. He blocks people that call him out.
Meltzer is as off the pulse as McMahon is at this point. He’s definitely catering to very small base of fans
At least with VKM, he still would make a ton money.
Every Osprey match is exactly the same as the last Osprey match.
That's why they all get the same star rating. He knows what moves tickle Dave's tism.
*Meltzer's favourite celestial object is the **_Pleiades cluster._*
*_It's 7 stars._*
I heard Dave now drives a Subaru after his Mitsubishi Starion gave up the ghost.
meltzers said "Full Gear's PPV buys were up 4.1%, but no numbers have been reported yet." 2 things, if its not reported yet, how do you know the numbers? Secondly, how in the unholy fuckness, did buys go up 4.1%? what storyline drove sales?
This would be hilarious…if it weren’t so sad
Only Tony Khan has these numbers so you know exactly where Meltzer is getting his figures from. That psychic link mysteriously vanishes whenever the media might want to hold him accountable for anything, like say for example a bunch of talented wrestlers whose contracts AEW is holding hostage.
Honestly, I feel like Tony buys a bunch himself and that he also has Nielson houses with unlimited dvr space in parts of Florida.
Storylines? *insert Chadwick Boseman “We don’t do that here” meme
3* for MJF vs. Roddy is too much. I've seen corpses with more heat
Uncle Dave seems like the type of guy that has a ranking of flavours of white glue
😂
More like mint flavored children’s school paste
@@gullreefclub that one is only for subscribers of his news board
You should read his pamphlet: How many hundreds of papers is right for your home floor: a comprehensive study
His favorite type of glue is Japanese glue.
Welcome to another episode of Asylum Elite Wrestling. On this episode, Dave Meltzer at it again, dropping 5 stars like he's Rob Van Dam. Unfortunately, the Frog Splash hurts RVD.
Norm Dooley should sue Dave for stealing his star system and ruining it
I bet that 2024 Wrestler of the Year on WON will be Will Ospreay and probably will not end in 2024
The moment we’ve all been waiting for 🎉🎉
Also, it’s pretty telling how Dave gave that main event exactly 4 stars. Shows how Mox and Pockets are not it.
“An absolute classic! I cried! I cried! I clapped so hard that my hands were bleeding and my wrists snapped as well. Better than anything from Wrestle Kingdom since whenever” - Dave Meltzer after the opening match.
He done something with his hands that made them bleed but it wasn't clapping 😉
Meltzer in the thumbnail for this video holy shit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Looks accurate tho lol
Meltzer's glazing of Osprey is getting comical.
That Mone/Statlander rating is one of his worst ever.
Mone is cringe. On Instagram a video popped up on storie tab where she is teaching the boom kids how to dance the ceo dance. The most cringe thing I've ever seen
The fact that AEW matches continue, even when they've hit multiple finishers, is EXACTLY why they look like videogame matches. Just move, after move, after move, with no rhyme or reason, no real selling, and no point to it whatsoever. They wrestle their matches the exact same way they play their wrestling videogames. They just want to have fun, common sense be damned!🤣
LMAO dave meltzer's star ratings are so overrated but hearing jim and brian talk about it always makes my day thanks Guys.
The real ratings for Meltzer star ratings is deducted 1 to 1.5 stars from the actual match. Unless it's a Bucks, Jericho, Manure Moans, or Pockets match then you deduct 2 stars. OceanSpreay matches you deduct 3 stars but you also have to wipe off all the semen.
@@matthewhostetter8974LMFAO
Did I miss the memo saying MJF was a star on this show?
Dave Meltzer: The Eddie Trunk of wrestling journalism
I'm not sure how many will actually get this reference....but it's spot on , mate. 👍
Does that make Kiss the bullet club of rock and roll lol?
Where does UFO fit in?
What's wrong with Eddie Trunk??
Eddie Trunk is absolutely terrible.@@jay92400
I need for the Beast Mortos to keep his current ring gear, but change his wrestling name to Frank the Lawyer.
Good god the thumbnail of Meltzer is jarring.....i love it 😂
6:42 I thought Jim died for a second lmao
Thanks guys everything is great
Best Tony Khan impression Ive ever read 💯😂
*Ding!*
You know it's serious, When the segment starts with Jim and his 5 star keyboard 😂
Meltzer's website is on it's knees. They have never had fewer subscribers. People are more and more turned off by Dave's antics.
Mercedes Mone and Kris Statlander are better than Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. I didn't know that. Thank goodness that Dave exists to enlighten me.
Edit: so are Orange Cassidy and Neo-Moxley 2024. Very interesting new discoveries.
This picture is AMAZING!! 7 STARS
AEW Mole basically confirmed that Uncle Dave’s star ratings are inflated to please the fearless leader.
Meltzer is on TK jock
How is opinion is so still well regarded is beyond me.
At this point there are probably North Korean reporters and journalists who would tell Dave that he’s too biased.
OceanSpreay could take a shit in the ring and Meltzer will still give it 5 stars.
@@matthewhostetter8974 He would roll around in it like a dog.
Now im picturing dave meltzer chasing bubbles around the trailer park ....
Woo wee! Did Travis get a raise recently?? Outstanding!
Meltzer watching ANY AEW match: TO INFINITY AND BEYONDDDD!!! 😂
It is getting to the point that I am beginning to want Tony Khan in an octagon for what he has done to our industry.
Aew are the Jacksonville jaguars of the wrestling business
Meltzer as a journalist has as much credibility as Linda McMahon's education qualifications.
This may be an unanswerable question but I have to ask it because it’s what my brain wants to know, does Dave Meltzer feel nothing at going from respected to having zero credibility with anyone? even the Internet wrestling community? !!!
I mean think about that for a second the community that celebrates a grown man parading around in a furry robe going Woooo 🤣🤣🤣 has decided that You have no credibility…. does uncle Dave not realize how low you have to sink to lose credibility with the Internet wrestling community? 😫😭
He still believes the Bucks and Omega are the shit in wrestling and they like him so that makes him think he is credible. To him it's everyone else that's the problem for not seeing their greatness. As Brian said awhile back, Dave's in a mid life crisis in a wrestling bubble.
The ppv was great every match was great the crowd was great the snowman booking was great 5 star ppv lmfao ☠️
LOL at the bubbles the monkey joke at the end.😂
The fact that Kurt Angle never received a 5 star match makes Meltzer's rating invalid.
6:43 Jim's head hitting the desk is a lovely series of noises
Meltzer is about as popular as the AEW video game.
He should have his own character by now
I think Dave crescendo's every time the Dynamite intro starts..
They have 20 minute matches cause they wanted to get all their shit in…emphasis on shit.
I give this video 7 stars!
This thumbnail is crazy!🤣🤣🤣🤣
My favorite Jim reviews -- anything with Meltzer 😂😂😂😂w
Think it's not just matches and bubbles he's blowing ask Tony
Dave Meltzer is clearly Trolling people with these Shenanigans
No. He's just Dave.
So Lashley/Swerve was worse than Mone/Statlander. Dave should just quit. Quit rating matches, quit talking about wrestling and just go away.
Uncle Dave Diaz
“ Dave spends all day blowing bubbles….eventually bubbles will get tired of it” omg how does jim come up with these, he’s still a master at promos after all this time semi retired. 😂
Mercedes Monee vs Kris Statlander was BETTER than any Kurt Angle match?
What else would you expect from Uncle Dave? 😂😂🤣🤣
Edit: And if anyone thinks this was based on "today's star ratings" well then, this was just half a star below CM Punk vs Drew McIntyre?
Still, what the actual F? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Gee, I wonder if essentially every match will be higher ranked than Breakker v Sheamus v Kaiser from Survivor Series?
"how does he justify this" 12:26 "not acknowledge me but justify me" 12:40 Lmao
I think Melzter counts the ring entrance, music, pop, color of ring, trunks, sound of the bell, ref, lights, and fans in his ratings
Dave is a goof😂
The higher the rating, the worse the match.
I remember none of these matches 0 stars to all. 8 and half stars to Travis though 😂
Lol.. was not expecting that ending line to be that
Jesus christ.
MJF really has become Jim & Brian's Omega 😂
Riccochet being in a match given 4+ stars is peak Meltzer idiocy.
Meltzer himself said crowd reaction to the match is one of the factors he uses to rate the matches yet even with little to no reaction to matches still most AEW matches get high ratings
Tonight on AEW Dynamite
The Bad Asses vs The Video Game Characters vs The Kung Fu Movie Specialists
Ah yes..... This week in Dave Meltzer has lost his mind. I'm here for it.
Yeah because anyone you ask will agree that Ospreay v Fletcher was better than Taker v HBK 😂 What a joke
Dave’s faces getting more wrinkled is insanely cursed but accurate lol
He’s in his 60s isn’t he? What’s funny about wrinkles at that age?
@@analiysanchez9949 Dave has a tendency to constantly dye his hair and wear clothes to appear way younger than he actually is
I bet this thumbnail actually predicted how Dave rates the matches. I bet he eats some of the glue right before he starts his ratings.
Star ratings lmao. They mean just as much as the aew rankings used to.
Thank god for the Dynamic Dude Dave Meltzer hehe you can't make this shit up, he's the anti Cornette 😂
10:30 When they did the media scrum after Full Gear, MVP total Wrestling Observer Radio "We don't answer questions from that nerd!" LOL!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that's why Uncle Dave gave Bobby Lashley like 3 stars or whatever. lol!!!!!!!!!! It WAS SO GREAT!!!!
“Christ on a cracker” is a new one. Never heard that before, and certainly didn’t think I would learn something like that here. Pleasantly surprised on all accounts.
To quote the famous words of Stone Cold: "Jimmity H. Cricket on a popsicle stick"😂
I think Meltzer rates pro wrestling matches similar to figure skating and gymnastics. He "objectively" rates the difficulty and number of individual moves performed, and the rest doesn't matter. Ignoring stuff like psychology and selling actually helps, as that gives the wrestlers more time to perform both more moves as well as create spots that are in their moment more dynamic.
That ending line was killer from Cornette
6:28 At this point, Angle would have to sign with AEW and have a match with who knows to get a Meltzer rating of that magnitude.
I’ve gotten the feeling for months that Dave rates matches by length of time.
The ONLY time I care to hear about Dave Meltzer is when Jim Cornette is taking the piss out of him.
To the moon, Meltzer: Give 'em all 5 Stars!
Cornette❤
Survivor Series this past Saturday was a simple Show with simple Stories being told and the Fans in Vancouver didn't get burned out. Here it was just constant Moves and Kick Outs with Dave handing out 5 Stars like Candy but the New Jersey Crowd being burned out betore the end.
This thumbnail is better than any Kurt Angle match! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️