Biggest kick in the soul is being blocked out of nowhere and then a hearty "how's it going" when we run into each other on Sundays...LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!
I was blocked too ... After we had a very early discussion about inching blocking is very immature (unless in danger) You never know what the recipient feels ... might be very damaging to their mental wellbeing ... I've also heard it may be thier way of dealing with their loss and not reaching out ..
@@martinhebblewhite4659hahahahah saaaame, I also promised with my ex gf that we would not do that in any case (besides serious stuff) and speak until the other has no open questions. We promised it. She did it immediately to discard after minor out of nowhere confrontation about: NOTHING … went into 4 weeks no contact straight and then she came by and confirmed she just plays this pissed mood, we kissed and she said well practice now so it works better mext time. 2 weeks later with minimal contact she seemed to have forgotten she said that and other things cause she never responded on the question about why she even said it when she would now suddenly without anything happened tell me she doesn’t want to share her life with me as she was not 100% happy…so sad those avoidants live in dream world and don’t realize there is no fantasy partner with a relationship her / them being happy 100% of all times..
I really hope you don't answer and walk on by like they don't exist- exactly the way they treated you! They don't deserve any acknowledgement I'm afraid. Wish you love n light ❤❤❤
I was blocked too after a row 7 months ago,still blocked but I get fake accounts messaging me all the time? Love bombing me and saying they miss me,why?
@@marguskiis7711 I perhaps should have been clearer. They both are damaged people who repeatedly cause damage to people (especially those closest to them).
It doesn't matter whether she "misses" me or not. Everyone is different. But YOU have to do your own "work". And realizing that this person is incapable of real love is step one! Who wants that kind of toxicity in their life? You hold your head high, dedicate to improving yourself ie; work out, improve your wardrobe and learn how to dress better, work on your bucket list (I went skydiving!!), complete half finished projects, volunteer for a cause, be a better person. It been a little over 2 1/2 months for me, and during that crucial first 2 weeks or so, I COUNTED on her damaged dysfunctional self NOT to contact me. Thank goodness she was so predictable. Because I might have relented and tried again. But I actually used one of her major flaws to my benefit. Now I am free. She actually texted me about 2 weeks ago and asked if she could call me. Silence is what she received. Exactly what she gave me. Silence is all she deserves. And soon she'll be just a life lesson and a bad memory.
I appreciate you being honest about this experience. I met a soulmate that is an avoidant. It first it seemed romantic, and then it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide. He completely shut down and ran.
@@MaryWong-pn6zm My experience too. The DA I was getting to know came off as very romantic and emotionally available. However, 60 days in, the real person showed up. I was so confused, but I realized what it was later.
When mine came back ( he's an FA), it was obvious w/in 5 minutes he did zero work on himself or his issues. No thanks my man, im lightyears beyond you.
@d1ma894 4 mths after i walked away, he randomly ask a question & I only replied. Less than a month later came the best he had. Started with a pic he took of me...
In my experience, the second time hurt way less. I felt like I wasn’t completely blindsided, and the second go around was a much shorter stretch when he ultimately ghosted me. He was already entertaining someone new, so that made it easier for me to cut the ties for good. I deserve better.
Thank you so much for helping me understand what just happened to me and why I’ve been crying for 8 days and can’t sleep. I feel like now I can stop ruminating over it and get my sanity back. Damnit, I didn’t realize I attracted an avoidant again until he emotionally shut down and discarded me. 💔💔💔
This is the second time in 6 years that she's told me that she's not good enough for me -- I should have listened the first time -- she was right that time and she's right this time.
@@Bluepearl187 I’m sorry to hear that. Mine monkey branched from his narcissistic ex to me and then realized he didn’t want to be with me because I was wanting a future with him but then he told me he was having urges to be with men so I said ok bye I wish you well on your exploration
@@Bluepearl187 Yeah I was really shocked and hurt by a lot of things he did, but at the time we were dating I didn’t know about attachment styles and then after we broke up I saw Coach Ryan’s videos and started to read about it and it explained so much!
Thank you so much, Ryan. I have watched a lot of your videos. It helps me every time to let go...to understand and to find peace! Greetings from Germany from Berlin. Yvonne 😊
They have not healed. They can’t communicate They can’t address issues And they are selfish, because why discard someone you claim to love? I’m convinced they never change. Even with the conditions, they will pretend to be secure and then four months later, they discard.
I think just like addicts they can change but ONLY if THEY want to. So anyone can change but only IF and WHEN they decide to do so. We certainly don't have to wait for damaged people to change. I remember she told me once: "it's not my problem that you are damaged from your childhood. I don't have to wait til you change". Now I feel the same about her. I let her go. I won't be waiting for her to change because she goes out of her way to be as avoidant as possible, and I'm afraid it gives her some pleasure. For that reason I feel like she is sort of a maniac. Will a maniac change? I doubt it if they get pleasure out of torturing someone they will never stop unless they want to change
I came here because i was dumped by a fearful avoidant and now im realising that I am one too. But when im chasing the unavailable I don't have to worry about being close. We need to be reflecting on why we are wanting/chasing these people because I'm sure we subconsciously know they aren't really available for a serious loving relationship
I’ve typed up text messages to him. It’s been 8 weeks since he’s decided to leave me without any communication. I told him goodbye. This has happened to me before not once, not twice. To be betrayed like this by him is hurtful. I can’t even imagine to begin to meet other people. I loved this person more than I could ever imagine. He made me believe that I was the greatest love he’s ever received or have known. And he had no problem to discard me without any hesitation or communication.
My ex girl of 12 years who I have a daughter with broke up with me by a text message after 12 years together. The last few years were by far the worst times of my life. Every time I asked to talk about what was going on, she would avoid me, tell me she just felt depressed or had lots going on in their head but they were "ok." I gave this woman everything, never cheated or talked to other girls, cooked for her, made her coffee so it was ready as soon as she came downstairs in the morning, told her she was beautiful every single day, and was emotionally available. We had some great times, lots of inside jokes, and just had fun together but she slowly pushed me away. It's only been 3 weeks & I finally had a great night of sleep without waking up in an anxiety attack. lol They mess with your head for sure. I was a confident, secure guy when I met her and now deal with constant anxiety & panic attacks. We could have had something great but she needs help apparently
I left my girlfriend who is a DA six weeks ago after 10 years ..We do have an eight-year-old son together. same stuff ups and downs, roller coaster rides ,guessing games, trying to be a mind reader ,just bread crumbs… i’m going through the same stuff anxiety panic attacks can’t sleep at night. It’s a slow torture in the relationship and nothing but patience . We only communicate for my son to visit at the park. And she would still just give me very limited information. We don’t talk about how was your day, etc. there’s no hugging there’s nothing that is cordial… now all of a sudden on this day she opens up. It’s my son’s birthday now she wants to share a lot of stories about what they doing what they’re gonna do, etc.
@@jamie-r2034they actually do but it doesn’t have to be from you. Take care of yourself. You didn’t cause it neither will you love them enough to help them get out of it. Channel it towards yourself and you will be stronger and don’t change your good nature for them. They are faulty for not seeing how much you do for them and it has nothing to do with you. 🫂
I don't think avoidant ex misses me - I've been discarded for the second time. They know they've done wrong by doing that. I think they are happy to have discarded. I don't think there is any regret from them discarding. I do have regret - I regret letting them back into my life for a second discard. It hurts more the second time as I should have known better. Don't take them back unless they've really done the work - chances are they haven't bothered 99% of the time.
If we are not psychologists or psychiatrists, how would we know if the person is avoidant or high on the narcissistic spectrum and were just playing us and couldn't care less? I operate that no matter what the motive is, its best for my own mental health to have a zero tolerance policy for ghosters/discarders. In my mind, anyone who would do that out of nowhere is, as you have said, emotionally unhealthy and therefore, unfit to be a partner; regardless of reason.
Nope......it's been a year. Nothing. Been in no contact for that long. She never loved me. Apparently. It's the most pain I've ever felt in my life. She just ghosted me after 2 years.
Same. He discarded/ghosted me after 8 years and it’s been 8 months of perfect NC. I still feel so much pain and now anger. I was a kind and generous partner. This is awful.
My heart breaks for you brother.. Mine left after what I saw as the best 16 months of my life. We were planning our future together. She left with a note on my doorstep. Found out she was in a new relationship within weeks. Its been almost 8 months since, and the level of pain and devastation ive experienced is unimaginable. Family and friends just don't get it. These avoidants are dangerous.. I pray you find a healthy love in the future, one that understands the meaning of relationships and can comprehend the abuse you have had to go through.
Yes they do, they tell themselves that you just aren’t the “right one” and use your “flaws” to validate that feeling. They look for the “perfect” relationship and never work on the one they are in
@@ld921 That and they flaw find with good partners so it’s never their own fault. Or, they get in relationships that are low commitment (think LDR/situationships, even people they don’t really like or who are toxic) so they don’t ever have to feel the high-stakes pressure of being with someone they really want to be with.
@@ld921 they usually have the "perfect ex" who is usually a fantasy guy pretty much. My DA gf had the ex who she described like some romantic hero and writer but in real life he is just a heavily drinking builder who used her as a rebound and party chick when he missed his ex wife.
They don't come back and they don't miss you when they RESENTS YOU because of flaw finding and absurd, ridicolous reasons created in their sick heads just to justify their decision and avoid accountability and self reflection for discarding you. And no contact will not make them to change their mind and come back
Its not so simple. DAs will come back times more often than healthier ones. Bc healthy ones have made the certain, usually rational decision to break up. Healthy women plan the break up for months, even years before. DAs make the decision at some odd moment. They never plan it for a long time. And then, during NC they start to feel sorry and want back. Male DAs even forgive women if she found another man meanwhile, surprisingly easily. Healthy men never do that.
@@marguskiis7711 after all painfull and cruel words what she told me she is definetely not coming back. And im ok with that. I would be very surprised if she would reach out to me. I don't want her back anyway. Im done
@@1224polo DAs usually really say unfair things to their partner. They just try convince themselves and try to push you away. Actually, the words do not mean anything.
here's basic math: if your ex reaches out to you after no contact within the first year it is 100% sure they did not have time to heal their attachment wounds and even if they managed to start therapy it would have been months after discard/fade away so it's not enough time to make real progress. in other words if they reach out they will almost certainly repeat same vicious cycle
@@Baplopird i know, i miss my ex too, but it's a lot easier than going through hell again and getting discarded again as soon as you trigger their fears. hang in there and sending a virtual hug
Bro really just described verbatim my exact situation 💯 to the fucking T 😂.. it's only been a week since she adiós but the algorithm weirdly placed this before me.
My ex texted me some months after he discarded me with a breakup, he wanted to know how I felt and explained that he liked what we had. We met. Showed me sweetness. He explained that he loved me, but couldn’t be with me because we want different things in life. I couldn’t stand the turmoil I felt. So what was the point of him text me and meet me? I just sat a boundary, “Ok, then it is what it is” Haven’t heard from him in 6 months. He is still in my head.
It was for validation for him which is agsin selfish as he did not consider the impact on you. That’s what they do. Hang around for validation but not a relationship. That’s too much for them. You have to walk away. And know you were a great partner and they are avoidant. Not who they could be but who they are. Damaged and not working on it
As it happened I dumped her before she got a chance to discard me, I’m just way smarter than these people, I’ve been there before and saw it all unfolding. I would bet money that even though I dumped her that she will not come back. She will miss me and what we had like all hell but her pride and stubbornness will prevent her coming back. It may even make her physically ill and she won’t come back, I’ve seen this before with others. I may be pleasantly surprised and I am very strong with boundaries and no contact, but I’m pretty sure I won’t take her back regardless, not now after 5 weeks. There was a small window of opportunity for her, I left that door open, however, only a genuine taking of personal responsibility and willingness to ‘do the work’ would see me welcoming her back and something about hell freezing over comes to mind 🥶 I’m here to learn what I could have done differently and how to avoid the avoidant in future.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
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Because the better you treat an avoidant, the more their fears get triggered and the more they will avoid feeling those feelings of intimacy. Sad to say your commitment 100% triggered it, I've been right where you are where I am treated my avoidant ex so good. Once we got back from our first getaway together, she threw me away out of nowhere because those fears were triggered. It shouldn't be this way, but unfortunately it is and it's one of the hardest things to go through.
in no contact with an avoidant for over 2 months now...really working on myself, definitely feels like a long haul.. who knows if and when ill even hear from them or if ill even care by then...
They don’t. And I don’t just mean my avoidant ex, I mean everyone’s. If they are truly avoidant and not just secure with some avoidant tendencies, they don’t miss you because you were never a truly dimensional human being to them with strengths and flaws and human contradictions. You were at best an idea to them. And once that idea failed to live up to the fantasy you were discarded. Don’t ever reach out to a true avoidant.
I’m happy that I’m beginning to move on from the avoidant person I was seeing. It was a weird fever dream that left a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t think I’ll engage with avoidant going forward
I will say no thanks because if he does reach out, he probably hasn’t changed a bit in. The whole thing would start over again and I’m not getting hurt again.
Wow yes 🙌 I keep letting him back in but it’s not the right energy so now iv disappeared working on myself healing I can’t keep going back in this vicious cycle he needs to heal. I need to heal of his mental abuse it’s his loss
I don't know if she's an avoidant. I was a bad boyfriend. I clung to her and tried to message her too much because i was so in love with her. I wanted her to spend more time with me instead of giving her space to hang out with her friends. But the way she left sounds like an avoidant. She suddenly told me she doesn't know if she loves me anymore. I asked her to work with me so we could try to fix it and she agreed but then without actually trying just started avoiding me altogether for weeks while saying everything was fine until i had to demand she break up with me if she doesn't love me anymore. She moved out the next day. Then blocked me so i couldn't even ask what happened. Our relationship was short and very fast. I haven't heard from her in over a month now. I still miss her so much. I don't care if shes an avoidant. I just want to hear from her again.
They are not children.।। They should take responsibility for their actions. If They are broken, they should not enter into a relationship in the first place. They are selfish
I wish I found your channel a few months ago around June. I'd have known how to deal with the discard better. I'd not have asked what was wrong until I got blocked. I shouldn't have shown the lack of love. I'm still in pain. I miss The Avoidant. Now that said person blocked me, I don't think they miss me. It makes me sadder. I still wish The Avoidant was secure. I wish i had behaved better when i got discarded, that i didn’t keep reaching out hing tonly to have the door repeatedly slammed in my face. I feel humiliated. I feel like a stalker, a pervert, whatever it is that people run away from. I feel like a filthy, descpicable person.
The "filthy, despicable person" is the avoidant though. They have to humiliate you, so they can feel better about themself and look better. Its insane what they do - how inhumanely they treat us!
@@DZ-jz8bj It's true. This happened after I did much more for the avoidant than what the avoidant did for me. I listened to them vent about their work stress, I comforted them when they needed it, and I was there for them when no one else was. I don't expect anything in return, but to be shown more respect and not be treated cruelly would have been nice.
I just want to move to another state and disappear. I am not an avoidant. Just want to run from one… the rejection, room mate mentality, etc. is painful. Who do you tell, who would understand. Then you have mutual friends and connections that don’t have a clue … so it’s easier to go somewhere else and not have to explain
Why would want them to ? My ex did not listen to my boundaries when set them . He love bombing. . Then asked for me break rules . Tried guilt when I did not give money . Sad thing is. He was in military . Should have honor . Lies You do not get to know the person just tell you what want . That is unhealthy . Untrue to them self. This is sad .
My DA ex discarded me in January. I’ve been in no contact since then. Recently found out she was monkey branching and cheated on me and has been with the same guy. She seems happy, I wish her well. I doubt she thinks of or misses me.
Same here (February- including the rebound & travel) Suddenly a month ago she put herself back in my life, willing to do work, talking and acting differently. I am cautiously optimistic.
My ex discarded me in February worst break up ever. Then bread crumbed me for 5 months. Hung out with me for an evening making plans for future outings & then 4 days letter in a text tells me he seeing someone & they decided to be serious then blocks me!!! Why? What did I do wrong??? Oh maybe show my emotions? In 3 yrs I was nothing but good to him. One of his last texts to me before he blocked me was "we had amazing times together & I knew you always had my back but something was missing in our relationship that we never got back". What was missing? He never communicated anything to me. So here I am wondering what I did so wrong to be blocked??? Kind of heartless. We had so much fun together & had so much in common & actually had a great 3yrs together. But I don't understand why not try to fix or work on whatever was missing from the relationship?? I found out he is now dating someone 14yrs younger than him. Idk. I can say at 60 yrs old this has been the hardest 😢break up I have ever been through thee hardest
Please, can you talk about how avoidants push our buttons on purpose? Provoke us? It happened to me and also to my friend when she had avoidant. Avoidants would pull out something what they KNEW would hurt you, after the discard. I find that to be so malicious but I cannot find more about it. Why avoidants provoke like this? Why they feel good hurting us this way? There can be no coincidence or any chance of no evil will behind that.
@SunshineAndSnowflakes It is different from narcissists. Narcissists poke people for reaction. But the avoidant wanted to feel control over your emotions, that they still have hold on you. I didnt understand this either, it was a new information for me. I only lately got that information from fb group about avoidant attachment and now it makes a lot of sense to me why they do this. It cant be any coincidence that for example, this guy never even mentioned his fav woman in the group chat. And suddenly, after I cut him off, not only he praised her, and said she is his "fave lady" but he even acknowledged her emotions! Said "she was BIG sad". While he didnt do that with me, even when I before pointed at how he is not considering my feelings. When I expressed hurt- nothing, When I expressed being discouraged - nothing. When I was angry / upset - he never responded or acknowledged any of my feelings.
I'm in 7th week NC and I do nothing but think of her. I'm blocked on both snap, IG and Facebook. That happened after the 3rd day after breakup. I don't want to ruin NC. IF she reaches out, and we get to talk again, how would I suggest to her that she is an avoidant and that she needs to get help, if we are to get together again?
@@andersjensen2538 She is just not into you. These people come into a relationship for entertainment. When things start becoming serious, they back off suddenly. She has done it on purpose, and she doesn't care about her avoidant behavior. Stay away and enjoy ur life, things can never be sorted with these kinds of people.
@@tash14-s7e Before she started to pull away we had deep conversations about who we were and what we wanted. She often told me that she's self-sabotaging herself and relationships even if nothing is wrong. I suggested that she might have fear of commitment. And after things got tough I suggested that she should speak to someone to find out why she pulls away and why she doesn't want to fight for us, even though she says she wants it to be us. She told me that she doesn't need anyone to tell her what she feels. At that time she was really cold (I have never loved you, we can't work on the spark that's missing etc..)
@@andersjensen2538 sounds like they were triggered and unfortunately they need to work on themselves the right way in order to become more secure, but sounds like she really cared for you, I went through the same thing with my avoidant ex I could tell he really cared about me but his fears became so alive but he didn't want to lose me either so he tried pulling the friends card but that didn't work as we still had feelings so I went no contact so he could work on himself and feel life without me since he always said how he likes me and respects me but then when they're so triggered they'll say mean things to try to cover their true emotions and I didn't want to handle that anymore so I walked away and now I don't know what they're thinking
@@tash14-s7e I too was presented the friends card but I said that it's all or nothing. So it was nothing. Yesterday I drove past her home and her friends (whom she told me, at our last talk, she started dreaming of) car was in the driveway. Now I just really really wish she's just mending with him, as if not, all she's been telling me would've been lies.
Mine on dating apps looking for a serious relationship..but they need to lose 50 kg plus cut out the alcohol and gambling plus partying to find anyone serious like me .. and early nights to bed because it's all having a negative effect on her mental and physical appearance..🎉
I never thought I would hear from my avoidant ex, then he reached out and year and a half later. But still nothing had changed. He is the same. Goes silent for days. I am the one always reaching out. I can't go through this again, I wanted to take my life the last time. I just can't go out through that pain again.
Nope,his loss. Dude has trauma issues. 55 needs to get ur shit together. I was wonderful to him for 2.5 yrs,and he blew me out of the water. No contact for a month. Nope hes not coming back. Like i said his loss
@SunshineAndSnowflakes you make sense and yes I’m anxious and he’s avoidant but I feel so abandoned during those days even though I’m busy work full time etc he’s on my mind too much
I don't think there's any harm in reaching out if you've done the work. But you must understand that that person probably hasn't done any of the work. They might miss you what are they willing to do the heavier emotional lifting or turn tail?
@@Cornelius1212 DONT reach out. If you get rebuffed you will be totaly back to square one Undoing your healing I made that mistake... set me back a month
I wish you’d approach the fearful avoidant perspective too…almost all videos in your channel start with “ the DA left you ? Discarded you? Abandoned you?” Not the case with me I dumped him..and my core wound isn’t to be abandoned by him but to be betrayed…which is undefinable from their lack of transparency..which could look like lying…and it’s as withholding the truth is lying.. It’s a completely different dynamic that I wish would address
Biggest kick in the soul is being blocked out of nowhere and then a hearty "how's it going" when we run into each other on Sundays...LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!
I was blocked too ... After we had a very early discussion about inching blocking is very immature (unless in danger)
You never know what the recipient feels ... might be very damaging to their mental wellbeing ...
I've also heard it may be thier way of dealing with their loss and not reaching out ..
Yup, dealing with exactly this but on Saturdays lmao
@@martinhebblewhite4659hahahahah saaaame, I also promised with my ex gf that we would not do that in any case (besides serious stuff) and speak until the other has no open questions. We promised it. She did it immediately to discard after minor out of nowhere confrontation about: NOTHING … went into 4 weeks no contact straight and then she came by and confirmed she just plays this pissed mood, we kissed and she said well practice now so it works better mext time. 2 weeks later with minimal contact she seemed to have forgotten she said that and other things cause she never responded on the question about why she even said it when she would now suddenly without anything happened tell me she doesn’t want to share her life with me as she was not 100% happy…so sad those avoidants live in dream world and don’t realize there is no fantasy partner with a relationship her / them being happy 100% of all times..
I really hope you don't answer and walk on by like they don't exist- exactly the way they treated you! They don't deserve any acknowledgement I'm afraid. Wish you love n light ❤❤❤
I was blocked too after a row 7 months ago,still blocked but I get fake accounts messaging me all the time? Love bombing me and saying they miss me,why?
I can't tell the difference between an avoidant and a covert narcissist, certainly the pain and impact is the same.
Narcis are always narcis. DA appears only during the relationship.
@@marguskiis7711 I perhaps should have been clearer. They both are damaged people who repeatedly cause damage to people (especially those closest to them).
DA's are actually convert narcissists
Narcs are always avoidant- avoidant is an attachment style.
When they reach out, the only response on your end should be" who is this?" 👌🏼👍🏼 And never reply again no matter what they say!
It doesn't matter whether she "misses" me or not.
Everyone is different. But YOU have to do your own "work".
And realizing that this person is incapable of real love is step one!
Who wants that kind of toxicity in their life?
You hold your head high, dedicate to improving yourself ie; work out, improve your wardrobe and learn how to dress better, work on your bucket list (I went skydiving!!), complete half finished projects, volunteer for a cause, be a better person.
It been a little over 2 1/2 months for me, and during that crucial first 2 weeks or so, I COUNTED on her damaged dysfunctional self NOT to contact me. Thank goodness she was so predictable.
Because I might have relented and tried again.
But I actually used one of her major flaws to my benefit.
Now I am free.
She actually texted me about 2 weeks ago and asked if she could call me.
Silence is what she received. Exactly what she gave me.
Silence is all she deserves.
And soon she'll be just a life lesson and a bad memory.
I appreciate you being honest about this experience. I met a soulmate that is an avoidant. It first it seemed romantic, and then it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide. He completely shut down and ran.
@@MaryWong-pn6zm My experience too. The DA I was getting to know came off as very romantic and emotionally available. However, 60 days in, the real person showed up. I was so confused, but I realized what it was later.
Do you think they make that connection with everyone or it truly is special til they shut down?
I don't know. I do know that in the beginning, he was overcompensating. It felt clumsy and awkward. I knew something was off.
He’s not your soulmate if he runs from you
Breadcrumbed, belittled, lied, judged, third party, ignored… 😢
When mine came back ( he's an FA), it was obvious w/in 5 minutes he did zero work on himself or his issues. No thanks my man, im lightyears beyond you.
how long did it take?
@d1ma894 4 mths after i walked away, he randomly ask a question & I only replied. Less than a month later came the best he had. Started with a pic he took of me...
In my experience, the second time hurt way less. I felt like I wasn’t completely blindsided, and the second go around was a much shorter stretch when he ultimately ghosted me. He was already entertaining someone new, so that made it easier for me to cut the ties for good. I deserve better.
I just wish they were consistant. Be avoided at the very beginning. Don't wait for us to know and love you.
Thank you so much for helping me understand what just happened to me and why I’ve been crying for 8 days and can’t sleep. I feel like now I can stop ruminating over it and get my sanity back. Damnit, I didn’t realize I attracted an avoidant again until he emotionally shut down and discarded me. 💔💔💔
This is the second time in 6 years that she's told me that she's not good enough for me -- I should have listened the first time -- she was right that time and she's right this time.
But you know now she is DA and she will come back. Its just a pattern.
I realized they want a relationship but then they don’t want it if it’s actually a healthy one that has expectations.
That’s what happened with my ex. With me it was a healthy relationship, he got bored. He monkey branched to a coworker and they argue almost everyday.
@@Bluepearl187 I’m sorry to hear that. Mine monkey branched from his narcissistic ex to me and then realized he didn’t want to be with me because I was wanting a future with him but then he told me he was having urges to be with men so I said ok bye I wish you well on your exploration
@@ShopgirlNY182 Wow! That’s intense! My ex would joke around about men and I did question his sexual orientation a couple of times.
@@Bluepearl187 Yeah I was really shocked and hurt by a lot of things he did, but at the time we were dating I didn’t know about attachment styles and then after we broke up I saw Coach Ryan’s videos and started to read about it and it explained so much!
The avoidant men are useless ones and don't cry for them. A man has to be active and caring but DA men are like some little boys running around.
Thank you so much, Ryan. I have watched a lot of your videos. It helps me every time to let go...to understand and to find peace! Greetings from Germany from Berlin. Yvonne 😊
They have not healed.
They can’t communicate
They can’t address issues
And they are selfish, because why discard someone you claim to love?
I’m convinced they never change.
Even with the conditions, they will pretend to be secure and then four months later, they discard.
I think just like addicts they can change but ONLY if THEY want to. So anyone can change but only IF and WHEN they decide to do so. We certainly don't have to wait for damaged people to change. I remember she told me once: "it's not my problem that you are damaged from your childhood. I don't have to wait til you change". Now I feel the same about her. I let her go. I won't be waiting for her to change because she goes out of her way to be as avoidant as possible, and I'm afraid it gives her some pleasure. For that reason I feel like she is sort of a maniac. Will a maniac change? I doubt it if they get pleasure out of torturing someone they will never stop unless they want to change
@icecreamcone9490 Nah. They are damaged for life. They don't get better. A tiger doesn't change it's stripes.
@@AmandaHugenkiss97your avoidant ex still must have you hurt
I came here because i was dumped by a fearful avoidant and now im realising that I am one too. But when im chasing the unavailable I don't have to worry about being close. We need to be reflecting on why we are wanting/chasing these people because I'm sure we subconsciously know they aren't really available for a serious loving relationship
I am better without them ..ignored them when they reached out and I feel good about it
I’ve typed up text messages to him. It’s been 8 weeks since he’s decided to leave me without any communication. I told him goodbye. This has happened to me before not once, not twice. To be betrayed like this by him is hurtful. I can’t even imagine to begin to meet other people. I loved this person more than I could ever imagine. He made me believe that I was the greatest love he’s ever received or have known. And he had no problem to discard me without any hesitation or communication.
Hello I was in a similar situation.I'm sorry that you went through that
Sounds pretty similar to mine too! Stay strong 💪🏼
That's the worst part, isn't it? When you KNOW you were the best they've ever had and yet it was "too much" for them to handle,.
The same thing happened to me too 1 minute they're there next minute they're gone.. then they they to blame you to cover there conscience
The more I am alone the more I don’t want him back, I broke the NC of nearly 3 months to tell him he is the worse thing in my life!
My ex girl of 12 years who I have a daughter with broke up with me by a text message after 12 years together. The last few years were by far the worst times of my life. Every time I asked to talk about what was going on, she would avoid me, tell me she just felt depressed or had lots going on in their head but they were "ok." I gave this woman everything, never cheated or talked to other girls, cooked for her, made her coffee so it was ready as soon as she came downstairs in the morning, told her she was beautiful every single day, and was emotionally available. We had some great times, lots of inside jokes, and just had fun together but she slowly pushed me away. It's only been 3 weeks & I finally had a great night of sleep without waking up in an anxiety attack. lol They mess with your head for sure. I was a confident, secure guy when I met her and now deal with constant anxiety & panic attacks. We could have had something great but she needs help apparently
I left my girlfriend who is a DA six weeks ago after 10 years ..We do have an eight-year-old son together. same stuff ups and downs, roller coaster rides ,guessing games, trying to be a mind reader ,just bread crumbs… i’m going through the same stuff anxiety panic attacks can’t sleep at night. It’s a slow torture in the relationship and nothing but patience . We only communicate for my son to visit at the park. And she would still just give me very limited information. We don’t talk about how was your day, etc. there’s no hugging there’s nothing that is cordial… now all of a sudden on this day she opens up. It’s my son’s birthday now she wants to share a lot of stories about what they doing what they’re gonna do, etc.
@@jamie-r2034they actually do but it doesn’t have to be from you. Take care of yourself. You didn’t cause it neither will you love them enough to help them get out of it. Channel it towards yourself and you will be stronger and don’t change your good nature for them. They are faulty for not seeing how much you do for them and it has nothing to do with you. 🫂
Going on 5 months and it feels like eternity… the days get easier, but there hasn’t been a single day where she hasn’t crossed my mind :/
I'm right there too
When they leave ande come back, they shouldn't be accepted. If you accept, the cycle only begins again and again.
Your videos are incredible. Revelatory. Thank you!
I don't think avoidant ex misses me - I've been discarded for the second time. They know they've done wrong by doing that. I think they are happy to have discarded. I don't think there is any regret from them discarding. I do have regret - I regret letting them back into my life for a second discard. It hurts more the second time as I should have known better.
Don't take them back unless they've really done the work - chances are they haven't bothered 99% of the time.
@@petitcoeur-q6r truth.
@@petitcoeur-q6r Just know it wasn’t you. It’s them! You’re right, they don’t miss you. Often times they’ve moved on to the next victim.
After many many discards over 8 years she finally did it for real and seems to have the time of her life.
If we are not psychologists or psychiatrists, how would we know if the person is avoidant or high on the narcissistic spectrum and were just playing us and couldn't care less? I operate that no matter what the motive is, its best for my own mental health to have a zero tolerance policy for ghosters/discarders. In my mind, anyone who would do that out of nowhere is, as you have said, emotionally unhealthy and therefore, unfit to be a partner; regardless of reason.
Nope......it's been a year. Nothing. Been in no contact for that long. She never loved me. Apparently. It's the most pain I've ever felt in my life. She just ghosted me after 2 years.
She didn't, but it wasn't about you, believe me. They can't really love anyone including themselves
Same. He discarded/ghosted me after 8 years and it’s been 8 months of perfect NC. I still feel so much pain and now anger. I was a kind and generous partner. This is awful.
My heart breaks for you brother.. Mine left after what I saw as the best 16 months of my life. We were planning our future together. She left with a note on my doorstep. Found out she was in a new relationship within weeks. Its been almost 8 months since, and the level of pain and devastation ive experienced is unimaginable. Family and friends just don't get it. These avoidants are dangerous.. I pray you find a healthy love in the future, one that understands the meaning of relationships and can comprehend the abuse you have had to go through.
Im spinning after a 4 month nothing burger. I cant even imagine..
1.5 years later, never reached out.
If he ever does reach out all he’s going to feel is air because I blocked him. I don’t want a cowardly child in my life.
Nicely done. You have to get them completely out of your life!
Thank you, really needed to hear this today ❤
Do avoidants look for reasons to devalue and discard you? As in, elevate your flaws so that they can tell others that you're the issue?
Yes they do, they tell themselves that you just aren’t the “right one” and use your “flaws” to validate that feeling. They look for the “perfect” relationship and never work on the one they are in
@@saradavenport6128exactly that
@@saradavenport6128 that makes sense historically in the last relationship-everyone else was "the problem" according to them. Thank you.
Yes
They find the very stupid reasons for break up and talk about your minor flaws like some huge problem.
My question is, why do DA’s seek love and relationships if they’re going to discard you? Seems like it’s best to let them go and move on from them.
Looking for the one, the perfect partner that doesn’t trigger them.
@@ld921 That makes sense. Basically they’re a hamster on a wheel.
@@ld921 That and they flaw find with good partners so it’s never their own fault. Or, they get in relationships that are low commitment (think LDR/situationships, even people they don’t really like or who are toxic) so they don’t ever have to feel the high-stakes pressure of being with someone they really want to be with.
They like you a lot but then they get the closeness panic. And DA women and DA men are very diffrerent.
@@ld921 they usually have the "perfect ex" who is usually a fantasy guy pretty much. My DA gf had the ex who she described like some romantic hero and writer but in real life he is just a heavily drinking builder who used her as a rebound and party chick when he missed his ex wife.
They don't come back and they don't miss you when they RESENTS YOU because of flaw finding and absurd, ridicolous reasons created in their sick heads just to justify their decision and avoid accountability and self reflection for discarding you. And no contact will not make them to change their mind and come back
Yeah but on dating site at 5am is crazy like what my ex is doing
Its not so simple. DAs will come back times more often than healthier ones. Bc healthy ones have made the certain, usually rational decision to break up. Healthy women plan the break up for months, even years before. DAs make the decision at some odd moment. They never plan it for a long time. And then, during NC they start to feel sorry and want back. Male DAs even forgive women if she found another man meanwhile, surprisingly easily. Healthy men never do that.
@@marguskiis7711 after all painfull and cruel words what she told me she is definetely not coming back. And im ok with that. I would be very surprised if she would reach out to me. I don't want her back anyway. Im done
@@marguskiis7711 you are 100% right
@@1224polo DAs usually really say unfair things to their partner. They just try convince themselves and try to push you away. Actually, the words do not mean anything.
here's basic math: if your ex reaches out to you after no contact within the first year it is 100% sure they did not have time to heal their attachment wounds and even if they managed to start therapy it would have been months after discard/fade away so it's not enough time to make real progress. in other words if they reach out they will almost certainly repeat same vicious cycle
Quite difficult to withstand more than a year without a single word from him...
@@Baplopird i know, i miss my ex too, but it's a lot easier than going through hell again and getting discarded again as soon as you trigger their fears. hang in there and sending a virtual hug
@@spiritwanderer777 Damned if I do, damned if I don't, I fear.
@@spiritwanderer777 I do wish for him to heal, though...
@@Baplopird i'm glad, that's a sign of being a caring person, but your healing is more important now, otherwise just like me you wouldn't be here
Bro really just described verbatim my exact situation 💯 to the fucking T 😂.. it's only been a week since she adiós but the algorithm weirdly placed this before me.
My ex texted me some months after he discarded me with a breakup, he wanted to know how I felt and explained that he liked what we had. We met. Showed me sweetness.
He explained that he loved me, but couldn’t be with me because we want different things in life. I couldn’t stand the turmoil I felt.
So what was the point of him text me and meet me? I just sat a boundary, “Ok, then it is what it is”
Haven’t heard from him in 6 months. He is still in my head.
It was for validation for him which is agsin selfish as he did not consider the impact on you. That’s what they do. Hang around for validation but not a relationship. That’s too much for them. You have to walk away. And know you were a great partner and they are avoidant. Not who they could be but who they are. Damaged and not working on it
The avoidant men are useless ones and don't cry for them. A man has to be active and caring but DA men are like some little boys running around.
@@johndevivo8683 True.
That is the safest thing, that they are not working on themselves, I kind of felt “I am not worth working for”.
As it happened I dumped her before she got a chance to discard me, I’m just way smarter than these people, I’ve been there before and saw it all unfolding. I would bet money that even though I dumped her that she will not come back. She will miss me and what we had like all hell but her pride and stubbornness will prevent her coming back. It may even make her physically ill and she won’t come back, I’ve seen this before with others. I may be pleasantly surprised and I am very strong with boundaries and no contact, but I’m pretty sure I won’t take her back regardless, not now after 5 weeks. There was a small window of opportunity for her, I left that door open, however, only a genuine taking of personal responsibility and willingness to ‘do the work’ would see me welcoming her back and something about hell freezing over comes to mind 🥶 I’m here to learn what I could have done differently and how to avoid the avoidant in future.
Same in almost every way
You don't love her anyway, so what's the problem?
@@marguskiis7711 ....I didn't know avoidants read these threads.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Why were they not avoidant to anyone else? I was the first who didn’t cheat on them.. like my commitment triggered it.
Because the better you treat an avoidant, the more their fears get triggered and the more they will avoid feeling those feelings of intimacy. Sad to say your commitment 100% triggered it, I've been right where you are where I am treated my avoidant ex so good. Once we got back from our first getaway together, she threw me away out of nowhere because those fears were triggered. It shouldn't be this way, but unfortunately it is and it's one of the hardest things to go through.
in no contact with an avoidant for over 2 months now...really working on myself, definitely feels like a long haul.. who knows if and when ill even hear from them or if ill even care by then...
They don’t. And I don’t just mean my avoidant ex, I mean everyone’s. If they are truly avoidant and not just secure with some avoidant tendencies, they don’t miss you because you were never a truly dimensional human being to them with strengths and flaws and human contradictions. You were at best an idea to them. And once that idea failed to live up to the fantasy you were discarded. Don’t ever reach out to a true avoidant.
Agreed
I’m happy that I’m beginning to move on from the avoidant person I was seeing. It was a weird fever dream that left a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t think I’ll engage with avoidant going forward
lol great description of the relationship
This is so spot on
I will say no thanks because if he does reach out, he probably hasn’t changed a bit in. The whole thing would start over again and I’m not getting hurt again.
Wow yes 🙌 I keep letting him back in but it’s not the right energy so now iv disappeared working on myself healing I can’t keep going back in this vicious cycle he needs to heal. I need to heal of his mental abuse it’s his loss
I don't know if she's an avoidant. I was a bad boyfriend. I clung to her and tried to message her too much because i was so in love with her. I wanted her to spend more time with me instead of giving her space to hang out with her friends. But the way she left sounds like an avoidant. She suddenly told me she doesn't know if she loves me anymore. I asked her to work with me so we could try to fix it and she agreed but then without actually trying just started avoiding me altogether for weeks while saying everything was fine until i had to demand she break up with me if she doesn't love me anymore. She moved out the next day. Then blocked me so i couldn't even ask what happened. Our relationship was short and very fast. I haven't heard from her in over a month now. I still miss her so much. I don't care if shes an avoidant. I just want to hear from her again.
I have a question: do they make a special connection with everyone before they shut down or was that truly a unique connection?
They are not children.।। They should take responsibility for their actions.
If They are broken, they should not enter into a relationship in the first place.
They are selfish
I wish I found your channel a few months ago around June. I'd have known how to deal with the discard better. I'd not have asked what was wrong until I got blocked. I shouldn't have shown the lack of love. I'm still in pain. I miss The Avoidant. Now that said person blocked me, I don't think they miss me. It makes me sadder. I still wish The Avoidant was secure. I wish i had behaved better when i got discarded, that i didn’t keep reaching out hing tonly to have the door repeatedly slammed in my face. I feel humiliated. I feel like a stalker, a pervert, whatever it is that people run away from. I feel like a filthy, descpicable person.
The "filthy, despicable person" is the avoidant though. They have to humiliate you, so they can feel better about themself and look better. Its insane what they do - how inhumanely they treat us!
Don't feel that way. They will regret.
The avoidant men are useless ones and don't cry for them. A man has to be active and caring but DA men are like some little boys running around.
@vaishnavityagi4680 Thank you for the kind words. I hope they do realise what they've done and regret it. I hope they heal.
@@DZ-jz8bj It's true. This happened after I did much more for the avoidant than what the avoidant did for me. I listened to them vent about their work stress, I comforted them when they needed it, and I was there for them when no one else was. I don't expect anything in return, but to be shown more respect and not be treated cruelly would have been nice.
I just want to move to another state and disappear. I am not an avoidant. Just want to run from one… the rejection, room mate mentality, etc. is painful. Who do you tell, who would understand. Then you have mutual friends and connections that don’t have a clue … so it’s easier to go somewhere else and not have to explain
God bless you, sir❤
Why would want them to ? My ex did not listen to my boundaries when set them . He love bombing. . Then asked for me break rules . Tried guilt when I did not give money . Sad thing is. He was in military . Should have honor . Lies You do not get to know the person just tell you what want . That is unhealthy . Untrue to them self. This is sad .
My DA ex discarded me in January. I’ve been in no contact since then. Recently found out she was monkey branching and cheated on me and has been with the same guy. She seems happy, I wish her well. I doubt she thinks of or misses me.
Same here (February- including the rebound & travel) Suddenly a month ago she put herself back in my life, willing to do work, talking and acting differently. I am cautiously optimistic.
My ex discarded me in February worst break up ever. Then bread crumbed me for 5 months. Hung out with me for an evening making plans for future outings & then 4 days letter in a text tells me he seeing someone & they decided to be serious then blocks me!!! Why? What did I do wrong??? Oh maybe show my emotions? In 3 yrs I was nothing but good to him. One of his last texts to me before he blocked me was "we had amazing times together & I knew you always had my back but something was missing in our relationship that we never got back". What was missing? He never communicated anything to me. So here I am wondering what I did so wrong to be blocked???
Kind of heartless. We had so much fun together & had so much in common & actually had a great 3yrs together. But I don't understand why not try to fix or work on whatever was missing from the relationship?? I found out he is now dating someone 14yrs younger than him. Idk. I can say at 60 yrs old this has been the hardest 😢break up I have ever been through thee hardest
Soulless robots,throw the DA's in the trash,they don't even have the capability to miss you.
You date trash? Maybe you should seek help for that.
Please, can you talk about how avoidants push our buttons on purpose? Provoke us? It happened to me and also to my friend when she had avoidant. Avoidants would pull out something what they KNEW would hurt you, after the discard. I find that to be so malicious but I cannot find more about it. Why avoidants provoke like this? Why they feel good hurting us this way? There can be no coincidence or any chance of no evil will behind that.
Thats evil aspect of them.
@SunshineAndSnowflakes It is avoidant behavior = they want control, control over your feelings
@SunshineAndSnowflakes It is different from narcissists. Narcissists poke people for reaction. But the avoidant wanted to feel control over your emotions, that they still have hold on you. I didnt understand this either, it was a new information for me. I only lately got that information from fb group about avoidant attachment and now it makes a lot of sense to me why they do this. It cant be any coincidence that for example, this guy never even mentioned his fav woman in the group chat. And suddenly, after I cut him off, not only he praised her, and said she is his "fave lady" but he even acknowledged her emotions! Said "she was BIG sad". While he didnt do that with me, even when I before pointed at how he is not considering my feelings. When I expressed hurt- nothing, When I expressed being discouraged - nothing. When I was angry / upset - he never responded or acknowledged any of my feelings.
I'm in 7th week NC and I do nothing but think of her. I'm blocked on both snap, IG and Facebook. That happened after the 3rd day after breakup. I don't want to ruin NC.
IF she reaches out, and we get to talk again, how would I suggest to her that she is an avoidant and that she needs to get help, if we are to get together again?
@@andersjensen2538 She is just not into you. These people come into a relationship for entertainment.
When things start becoming serious, they back off suddenly.
She has done it on purpose, and she doesn't care about her avoidant behavior.
Stay away and enjoy ur life, things can never be sorted with these kinds of people.
did you develop a strong emotional connection or did it seem surface level?
@@tash14-s7e Before she started to pull away we had deep conversations about who we were and what we wanted. She often told me that she's self-sabotaging herself and relationships even if nothing is wrong. I suggested that she might have fear of commitment. And after things got tough I suggested that she should speak to someone to find out why she pulls away and why she doesn't want to fight for us, even though she says she wants it to be us. She told me that she doesn't need anyone to tell her what she feels. At that time she was really cold (I have never loved you, we can't work on the spark that's missing etc..)
@@andersjensen2538 sounds like they were triggered and unfortunately they need to work on themselves the right way in order to become more secure, but sounds like she really cared for you, I went through the same thing with my avoidant ex I could tell he really cared about me but his fears became so alive but he didn't want to lose me either so he tried pulling the friends card but that didn't work as we still had feelings so I went no contact so he could work on himself and feel life without me since he always said how he likes me and respects me but then when they're so triggered they'll say mean things to try to cover their true emotions and I didn't want to handle that anymore so I walked away and now I don't know what they're thinking
@@tash14-s7e I too was presented the friends card but I said that it's all or nothing. So it was nothing.
Yesterday I drove past her home and her friends (whom she told me, at our last talk, she started dreaming of) car was in the driveway. Now I just really really wish she's just mending with him, as if not, all she's been telling me would've been lies.
How do you know if they are not accessing their feelings vs they don't have feelings?
They usually don't have feelings or a conscience
Mine on dating apps looking for a serious relationship..but they need to lose 50 kg plus cut out the alcohol and gambling plus partying to find anyone serious like me .. and early nights to bed because it's all having a negative effect on her mental and physical appearance..🎉
MY, NOT MY, DA IS AT THIS MOMENT TROLLING A SOCIAL RECOVERY PHONE MEETING
Went no contact after being cheated on then gaslit. He isn't bothered so obviously he never cared and the 1.5 years was a lie?
Same. It’s brutal 😢
Your better off without ... you can't cheat by mistake. Its a conscious thing .
The avoidant men are useless ones and don't cry for them. A man has to be active and caring but DA men are like some little boys running around.
It’s been 6 months he didn’t any contact I am feeling emty
Don't worry sister , u will feel better , time is the best healer , later on u will feel he is a memory and just a memory
I never thought I would hear from my avoidant ex, then he reached out and year and a half later. But still nothing had changed. He is the same. Goes silent for days. I am the one always reaching out. I can't go through this again, I wanted to take my life the last time. I just can't go out through that pain again.
@@adoptioncorner1984 have to go through the grief
@@moguru7747 thanks 🙏🏼
Avoidant men always come back, unlike avoidant women.
She left me to start seeing other men
Nope,his loss. Dude has trauma issues. 55 needs to get ur shit together. I was wonderful to him for 2.5 yrs,and he blew me out of the water. No contact for a month.
Nope hes not coming back. Like i said his loss
mine came back after 2.5 months spent the month trying to make it up to me then went again.
Just stay away from them. They're all narcs anyway.
Just wait until our upcoming call Ryan. Stuff I have going on right now will probably leave you speechless. Like I am right now.
It happens every fucking month after we get close he disappears for 3-4 days wtffffff can you tell me what to do ? Makes me insane ? Do I let go?
If you value yourself you will let go.
You have to just let it go ... If it's meant to be , it will come back if not then God has something better
@@Kazzas73 so when he returns with a call ? Ignore?
@@tameckajones9901 it’s not ok to stop contact for days at a time after being intimate right? Do I ignore him when he returns? I’m in pain
@SunshineAndSnowflakes you make sense and yes I’m anxious and he’s avoidant but I feel so abandoned during those days even though I’m busy work full time etc he’s on my mind too much
My only question is, are all dismissive. Avoidance behaviors stemming from childhood experiences? I'm not sure f my ex was in this category....
After 1,5 years... i miss her. Whats about to reach out to her after this long period of time?
The same for me, 2 years. I think you should reach out. You have nothing to lose at this point.
You're just putting yourself back in the cycle. You know how it ends. You'll just get hurt even more.
I don't think there's any harm in reaching out if you've done the work. But you must understand that that person probably hasn't done any of the work. They might miss you what are they willing to do the heavier emotional lifting or turn tail?
@@Cornelius1212 DONT reach out. If you get rebuffed you will be totaly back to square one
Undoing your healing
I made that mistake... set me back a month
Let them go. There is nothing there.
Female DAs usually move on (or move back to some ex) and try to find some more loose, carefree partner who likes just some fun.
I have my eyes on this coach.. Is he straight, bi or gay ?
Ay yo chill
Haha just ask my man! You might have a shot!
I wish you’d approach the fearful avoidant perspective too…almost all videos in your channel start with “ the DA left you ? Discarded you? Abandoned you?” Not the case with me I dumped him..and my core wound isn’t to be abandoned by him but to be betrayed…which is undefinable from their lack of transparency..which could look like lying…and it’s as withholding the truth is lying..
It’s a completely different dynamic that I wish would address