I'm a bit drained myself, but I just wanted to give you internet HUGS! I can definitely relate to your family struggles. My mom constantly misgenders me to acquaintances, and is unapologetic about it. My dad refuses to: 1. hug me -and- 2. use my pronouns. I'm not the daughter he thought I was, and I'm not his son either. Lately, he's been kinda treating me like an untouchable at family gatherings. ugh... Fortunately, my dear sibling is very supportive.
+Skye ID hi Skye. thanks for commenting! lots of internet hugs your way as well. i'm sorry to hear that your parents are being shitty, but glad to hear that at least your siblings have your back. actually, now that you mention being misgendered to acquaintances, i'm sure my family's still doing that tons in my absence, intentionally or not....
I swore to myself I would never come out to my mom. We were always at odds and ends. My mom is a tough lover but it was in the sense that she thinks putting people down is love. We had a spat in the summer and I moved out. I'm still forced to communicate because the family wants me to. We're an extremely small family. I still won't, because it's just too much of a hassle. And trying to explain the issues I have with her is always deflected, because she believes up and down that it's not her fault, even after I moved out. Your bravery spans oceans and tides. Your honesty climbs the tallest trees. Your patience bests that of the saints. I may not have what you have, but you posting this video gives me hope. Not of coming out, but of being yourself even in the most dire of straits.
Hey. I have autistic sibling(s), too, and I feel you when you say it's hard to explain them "socially coded" things. I hate it the most that my mom kind of silently forces things down to 'em, starting from "blue is boys color, pink is for girls.." as I same time try to explain the things other way. Well, I haven't (so do speak) come out to anyone in my family about my gender (but I guess you can still see a lot of what's going on, 'cause I'm not hiding anything). Besides, I've asked my mum why she does it, but I guess it's just out of habit, and she's too lazy to change it "'cause things were like that in the 80's" or something. Blah. Anyways: This was awesome video once again! ^_^
+Carrie_db ahh, parents who can't be bothered to think critically, especially when it comes to their own parenting... on a random note: "cause things were like that in the 80s"....? your mom doesn't sound that much older than me? now i feel old lol.
+QueerAsCat My mom is ~45, thinks a lot about her childhood & teenage years. She started family really early. She's talkin' to me about getting children, 'cause she already had two at my age (I'm turning 20).. Takes it as a joke when I say I don't want any. But yeah, that's parents. (P.S. You definitely aren't old, you're awesome! ^_^)
Carrie_db ....she's in her 40s. ok, i feel better now lol. but having two kids at 20yo? sounds like it must have sucked to me, not like something she should be wishing on you regardless of your sexuality lol. (P.S. you're too kind! same to you.)
You've been through so much. I can only imagine how much anxiety you had to endure. It's very palpable in your words. I'm glad you were able to make progress with your mother and sibling, that couldn't have been easy. And it's really wonderful to see how you are also facilitating conversations surrounding your gender and orientation with films and books. I can only hope that it shows the importance for validation and respect the others should have for you. I am sorry to hear about your mother's condition. Like you said, you have a lot on your plate, but I believe in you. One at a time : )
+SexyVinnyT thanks for watching and commenting, Vinny. i hope you're well yourself. i know you've got your own stuff going on as well. but yeah, using media as resources to try and help educate and promote discussions has been invaluable to me personally. there's no way i'd have the patience or means to do all the educating that needs to be done with my family on my own.... sigh.
Sorry to hear about your mom Vesper, my sister was recently diagnosed with cancer so I understand to some extent. I'm really happy to hear how your family have turned around and begun to accept you though, I really hope that continues to only improve.
It takes so much to try to reconnect with family after feeling rejected. You're really my rolemodel. Your videos are very encouraging to me and I wish to thank you so much for providing myself and others with such support. I wish you all the best! :)
this video made me cry no joke. happy for you ! i haven't come out to my family yet but loved the books idea :) my mom doesn't speak english so i gotta get a little creative trying to find resources for her, and found a podcast a few months ago that i'm just now remembering again to share with her. You're so awesome and hope it continues to get better despite the health issues..
+TinskanixQT :) all the best coming out to your mom and family, whenever / if ever you do. i hope you can find more resources that work for you and your family.
Great video! I'm so sorry about your mom's health, I'm sure it brings up a whole lot of difficult emotions that might be too hard to start processing. But I'm very happy to hear that your family is learning to respect your identities and accept you as the person you are.
Hello there! Great to hear from you, and great to hear that your sister is handling things so great and that your mom is putting in more effort. Miracles happen! I am sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mom's health and the way all of this is hanging on you now. And thanks for all the resources. It's great to have actual books. It's often a comfort to see them after reading them too.
It brought tears to my eyes after you said your sister was using your name after you came out to her. I haven't visited your channel since I watched your video on picking names.. since then I've come out as agender and changed my name and my family and friends are still working hard on they/them/their pronouns but it is difficult for them.
+Robin Davis thank you for watching. :) the name change has been hard on my family as well. especially since i live overseas and rarely see them in person, they often default back to my old name when not in my presence, so there's no way for me to correct them..... i can only imagine that they/them/their pronouns would be twice as hard for family and friends to get used to, but i hope that your family comes through for you. wishing you and your family all the best.
+QueerAsCat thank you for replying to my comment :) I know you said you're not as active on TH-cam as you are on Twitter and such so I appreciate you taking the time to reply. another video of yours highlighted an important point too (I think it was the asexuality video) ; that it's perfectly alright to start identifying as something else if you feel it truly suits you without invalidating your previous identity whatsoever. You are one of the only people on TH-cam speaking about these more complex issues with gender so I hope to start making videos soon again to spread the word. enjoy your night :)
You gave me the idea to explain my sexuality and my gender to my family using books! :) I hope I can find books about bi/pan, ace and non binary identities in Spanish though :/
Thank you for your good wishes! :) I think the colors analogy for explaining gender identities is very interesting and honestly amazing! I'll definitely use it to explain my gender identity to my little brother (and maybe even my parents) :D
As an asexual , I want to understand gender identity when it's not aligned with how your born. But I feel my questions may be offensive out of ignorance ? Anyone willing to talk about it xD? Because I don't understand it
So this question has nothing to do with the video, but I wanted to know something. So I was born as a male, and I identity as neutrois/maverique, and I wanted to know how I would label me sexuality, since I was born male and I am attracted to other men sexually and romantically, and don't know how to label my sexuality...
+カー三ブランドン some people use the term androsexual (or androromantic) to describe being sexually (or romantically) attracted to males and/or masculinity. although in some ways this term can also be problematic, it's become pretty common among non-binary people to use andro- and gyno- to describe their own sexuality as these words circumnavigate the problem that exists for non-binary people with "lesbian", "gay" or "straight".
I'm a bit drained myself, but I just wanted to give you internet HUGS! I can definitely relate to your family struggles. My mom constantly misgenders me to acquaintances, and is unapologetic about it. My dad refuses to: 1. hug me -and- 2. use my pronouns. I'm not the daughter he thought I was, and I'm not his son either. Lately, he's been kinda treating me like an untouchable at family gatherings. ugh... Fortunately, my dear sibling is very supportive.
+Skye ID hi Skye. thanks for commenting! lots of internet hugs your way as well. i'm sorry to hear that your parents are being shitty, but glad to hear that at least your siblings have your back.
actually, now that you mention being misgendered to acquaintances, i'm sure my family's still doing that tons in my absence, intentionally or not....
I swore to myself I would never come out to my mom. We were always at odds and ends. My mom is a tough lover but it was in the sense that she thinks putting people down is love. We had a spat in the summer and I moved out. I'm still forced to communicate because the family wants me to. We're an extremely small family. I still won't, because it's just too much of a hassle. And trying to explain the issues I have with her is always deflected, because she believes up and down that it's not her fault, even after I moved out.
Your bravery spans oceans and tides. Your honesty climbs the tallest trees. Your patience bests that of the saints. I may not have what you have, but you posting this video gives me hope. Not of coming out, but of being yourself even in the most dire of straits.
+Zurgo Pussysmasher ...........that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. you're far too kind. thank you.
Hope you feel better soon!
having tough conversations with family can be very stressful for more than just a few days
+Ahmad Alshihabi thanks. :)
Hey.
I have autistic sibling(s), too, and I feel you when you say it's hard to explain them "socially coded" things. I hate it the most that my mom kind of silently forces things down to 'em, starting from "blue is boys color, pink is for girls.." as I same time try to explain the things other way. Well, I haven't (so do speak) come out to anyone in my family about my gender (but I guess you can still see a lot of what's going on, 'cause I'm not hiding anything). Besides, I've asked my mum why she does it, but I guess it's just out of habit, and she's too lazy to change it "'cause things were like that in the 80's" or something. Blah.
Anyways: This was awesome video once again! ^_^
+Carrie_db ahh, parents who can't be bothered to think critically, especially when it comes to their own parenting...
on a random note: "cause things were like that in the 80s"....? your mom doesn't sound that much older than me? now i feel old lol.
+QueerAsCat My mom is ~45, thinks a lot about her childhood & teenage years. She started family really early. She's talkin' to me about getting children, 'cause she already had two at my age (I'm turning 20).. Takes it as a joke when I say I don't want any. But yeah, that's parents. (P.S. You definitely aren't old, you're awesome! ^_^)
Carrie_db ....she's in her 40s. ok, i feel better now lol. but having two kids at 20yo? sounds like it must have sucked to me, not like something she should be wishing on you regardless of your sexuality lol.
(P.S. you're too kind! same to you.)
You've been through so much. I can only imagine how much anxiety you had to endure. It's very palpable in your words. I'm glad you were able to make progress with your mother and sibling, that couldn't have been easy. And it's really wonderful to see how you are also facilitating conversations surrounding your gender and orientation with films and books. I can only hope that it shows the importance for validation and respect the others should have for you.
I am sorry to hear about your mother's condition. Like you said, you have a lot on your plate, but I believe in you. One at a time : )
+SexyVinnyT thanks for watching and commenting, Vinny. i hope you're well yourself. i know you've got your own stuff going on as well.
but yeah, using media as resources to try and help educate and promote discussions has been invaluable to me personally. there's no way i'd have the patience or means to do all the educating that needs to be done with my family on my own.... sigh.
Sorry to hear about your mom Vesper, my sister was recently diagnosed with cancer so I understand to some extent. I'm really happy to hear how your family have turned around and begun to accept you though, I really hope that continues to only improve.
+Lucas Dennis thank you. :) i'm sorry to hear about your sister. wishing both of you and your family all the best.
It takes so much to try to reconnect with family after feeling rejected. You're really my rolemodel. Your videos are very encouraging to me and I wish to thank you so much for providing myself and others with such support. I wish you all the best! :)
+Jello Jello thanks! i'm totally not role model material, but it's an honor to know that my videos encourage you. wishing you all the best as well. :)
glad you made progress
this video made me cry no joke. happy for you !
i haven't come out to my family yet but loved the books idea :) my mom doesn't speak english so i gotta get a little creative trying to find resources for her, and found a podcast a few months ago that i'm just now remembering again to share with her. You're so awesome and hope it continues to get better despite the health issues..
+TinskanixQT :) all the best coming out to your mom and family, whenever / if ever you do. i hope you can find more resources that work for you and your family.
thank youu!
I'm so happy you've made such progression with your family and that your mum is getting there. That book is amazing, I'm gonna keep an eye out for it.
Great video! I'm so sorry about your mom's health, I'm sure it brings up a whole lot of difficult emotions that might be too hard to start processing. But I'm very happy to hear that your family is learning to respect your identities and accept you as the person you are.
+Erin Gray same. :) thanks for watching and commenting.
Hello there! Great to hear from you, and great to hear that your sister is handling things so great and that your mom is putting in more effort. Miracles happen! I am sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mom's health and the way all of this is hanging on you now. And thanks for all the resources. It's great to have actual books. It's often a comfort to see them after reading them too.
+Love is Vulnerability thanks for watching and commenting. :) and yeah, having physical resources really is comforting.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. *hugs*
I bought Red a couple of weeks ago, it's a really good explanation for children and adults alike. It's also surprisingly comforting.
+Charlotte De it really is. :)
It brought tears to my eyes after you said your sister was using your name after you came out to her. I haven't visited your channel since I watched your video on picking names.. since then I've come out as agender and changed my name and my family and friends are still working hard on they/them/their pronouns but it is difficult for them.
+Robin Davis thank you for watching. :)
the name change has been hard on my family as well. especially since i live overseas and rarely see them in person, they often default back to my old name when not in my presence, so there's no way for me to correct them..... i can only imagine that they/them/their pronouns would be twice as hard for family and friends to get used to, but i hope that your family comes through for you. wishing you and your family all the best.
+QueerAsCat thank you for replying to my comment :) I know you said you're not as active on TH-cam as you are on Twitter and such so I appreciate you taking the time to reply. another video of yours highlighted an important point too (I think it was the asexuality video) ; that it's perfectly alright to start identifying as something else if you feel it truly suits you without invalidating your previous identity whatsoever. You are one of the only people on TH-cam speaking about these more complex issues with gender so I hope to start making videos soon again to spread the word. enjoy your night :)
+QueerAsCat in fact, after watching your gender identity video on maverique I feel identify with that more than agender.
Robin Davis i'm beyond flattered that maverique resonates with you. :)
sorry that happened to you. i wish for better times for you. if nothing else, i accept you for who you are.
+chiefdancingostriche
She is opening the doors, that's what matters.
I am so happy for you :)
(for the progress with your sister and mom about your name :D)
+Ivana Vasileva thanks! :)
You gave me the idea to explain my sexuality and my gender to my family using books! :) I hope I can find books about bi/pan, ace and non binary identities in Spanish though :/
i hope you can find helpful books in Spanish, too. good luck! :)
Thank you for your good wishes! :) I think the colors analogy for explaining gender identities is very interesting and honestly amazing! I'll definitely use it to explain my gender identity to my little brother (and maybe even my parents) :D
I love that book
As an asexual , I want to understand gender identity when it's not aligned with how your born. But I feel my questions may be offensive out of ignorance ? Anyone willing to talk about it xD? Because I don't understand it
So this question has nothing to do with the video, but I wanted to know something. So I was born as a male, and I identity as neutrois/maverique, and I wanted to know how I would label me sexuality, since I was born male and I am attracted to other men sexually and romantically, and don't know how to label my sexuality...
+カー三ブランドン some people use the term androsexual (or androromantic) to describe being sexually (or romantically) attracted to males and/or masculinity. although in some ways this term can also be problematic, it's become pretty common among non-binary people to use andro- and gyno- to describe their own sexuality as these words circumnavigate the problem that exists for non-binary people with "lesbian", "gay" or "straight".
vesper is a cool name!
im sorry my moms the same
Your so cute
+marleytherebelable D: ....hi! nice to meet you? lol
*is forever awkward when someone says the C word*
❤ ❤ ❤