"I have PLENTY OF TIME": understanding women's timelines

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024

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  • @psychacks
    @psychacks  ปีที่แล้ว +58

    This phrase -- "I have plenty of time" -- is one I've heard from many, many women throughout my dating history. However, is that really true? In today's episode, I discuss some of the uncomfortable facts about female fertility, especially as they pertain to men's sexual selection priorities. In today's world, women can be anything -- but they can't be everything. Because no one can.
    Fertility facts: www.cnyfertility.com/fertility-stats-by-age/
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    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #psychology #dating #relationship

    • @WoziduranJahemter
      @WoziduranJahemter ปีที่แล้ว

      Their beauty fades as they indulge in more degrading activities of sin and thus they become sick, wicked and diseased.
      Watchout, near them usually some things manifest such as: confusion, lack of concentration, amnesia and memory afflictions as they are toxic pestilent and degenerative presences of sin. They degraded their energetical fields and they create smogs of leeching around them, they steal mental energy!!!!

    • @truecatholic1
      @truecatholic1 ปีที่แล้ว

      FYI IVF is wrong. It is unnatural.

    • @lapiedra7121
      @lapiedra7121 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      With all due respect, I also got news for you. I hate to break it down to you but here it goes: All men’s sperm also deteriorates with age. The older a man gets the worse quality of sperm he produces and his chances of producing healthy offspring decreases just as fast as a woman’s eggs as she ages. I’m talking from experience here. I married at age 20. Got pregnant when I had just turned 21 and gave birth to our first child before turning 22. My husband was nearly 40 when I became pregnant with this baby. Our baby was born with a genetic defect due to the poor quality of his sperm given his age at the time. A year after giving birth to our first baby, I became pregnant with our second child who was also born with a genetic defect. At that point we had to be tested and it turns out…it was all because of the poor quality of his aged defective sperm. All confirmed by not one, but 3 doctors. I’m now trapped in the sad reality of caring for my two disabled children, never being able to see them flourish and thrive, never being able to seeing them off to college, nor to see them getting married and having their own families too, and this will be the case for the rest of my life. My life as I had hoped is ruined forever and so is my children’s lives as they have to live that reality all because I decided to marry an older man. Had I known this, I would not want a 37+ year old man’s sperm anywhere near me. I now find the idea of older people procreating disturbing and repulsive just because of the high risk of birth defects and other health issues which is cruel to the babies that come from it. A man’s peak for healthy reproduction/fertility is also in his 20 and early 30s and after that it declines exponentially. If women should not reproduce in their late 30s and 40s, neither should men.

    • @WoziduranJahemter
      @WoziduranJahemter ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lapiedra7121 then those kids are more his than yours both together. Letting your kids live without available healing medication might be harsh on them too to continue living as tormented afflicted beings. Seek help for their health improvement I guess.....

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@lapiedra7121..a man's sperm is created a new every day.. ..a woman is born with all her eggs, thats why they're so damaged by the time she gets to her 30s, when she's already gone through about 80% of her eggs.. so, no, your hypothesis is disingenuous and your conclusion is wrong..

  • @jarrettgorin
    @jarrettgorin ปีที่แล้ว +771

    When I was 46, I met and briefly dated a really stunning 39 year old woman. On maybe our 3rd date she told me that it was "really important to her to have children." I was previously married and already have a son who at the time was 14. Having more children was not a priority for me. I actually wasn't 100% against having another child someday....with the right woman. Maybe a 30 year old who might be 32 or 33 when she became a mother. Not with a 39 year old I just met. And that right there is the problem. I had to stop dating her immediately. Not because of what she said, but because I felt like it would terrible for me to waste even a few months of her time when she essentially had no time left.

    • @christopherclyde7791
      @christopherclyde7791 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Brother... no man will pick her up t9 have kids with intentionally.. Maybe a man will accidentally impregnate her....

    • @alienkishorekumar
      @alienkishorekumar ปีที่แล้ว +77

      @@LisaCulton You sound like you didn't like what you heard.

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 ปีที่แล้ว

      A "really stunning 39-year-old woman who CLAIMS that it is "really important to her to have children" is LYING. This would be like a 39-year-old, out-of-shape MAN saying that it is really important for him to become an "Olympic athlete." If she really was "really stunning," she could have had those kids FIFTEEN YEARS ago!

    • @jarrettgorin
      @jarrettgorin ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@LisaCulton No one pays a fortune teller who tells them about things anyone can “predict”…

    • @Pssst.ByTheWay
      @Pssst.ByTheWay ปีที่แล้ว +36

      That was rather conscientious of you. Indeed every second counts

  • @peterg76yt
    @peterg76yt ปีที่แล้ว +217

    I suspect the biggest part of the problem is not that women don't understand the issues, but rather that few women are humble enough to accept that they likely are not the one in a million exception to the general trend.

    • @memesofproduction3
      @memesofproduction3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah I was just trying to explain this to @SmoothCode a few comments above

    • @CaptainVillanueva1
      @CaptainVillanueva1 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      They all believe their gods gift to earth and don't "settle" for any man

    • @jonathanpenduka7420
      @jonathanpenduka7420 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      They'll always be one in the comments who says they did it a 40 and nothing went wrong for them. the ones with problems will never come out and say it creating confirmational bias

    • @SmoothCode
      @SmoothCode ปีที่แล้ว

      And even if the woman that is indeed an exception to the general trend you guys would likewise put them down and make them out to the villain in all of this. I see how it actually is.

    • @SmoothCode
      @SmoothCode ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@beowulf_of_wall_st Why don't you be absolutely honest and just say you want them to settle? Isn't that what you and Orion are suggesting?
      When said average bloke cheats on the woman, it still ends up being her fault since she settled for less.

  • @Khan-rz8qi
    @Khan-rz8qi ปีที่แล้ว +250

    This is why you see many women shaming older men who are using their leverage in order to sleep with/court younger women. They want older guys to take on a raw deal while she’s in her decline, but wouldn’t even consider you when she was in her prime. Men who’ve worked hard to gain their leverage, should be able to enjoy it with no remorse. It’s not their job to save women who are on their decline, it’s women’s jobs to make better decisions.💯

    • @patnor7354
      @patnor7354 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Truth

    • @eQuariuz
      @eQuariuz ปีที่แล้ว +47

      "They want older guys to take on a raw deal while she’s in her decline"
      Just brutal. Brutal truth.

    • @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.
      @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. ปีที่แล้ว +2

      *_"Sounds like something a p3do would say!"_*
      Say the single "moms" who raise most 🍇ists, perverts, and sociopaths while taking on scumbag boyfriends who neglects and/or "use" their kids because they're not _their_ kids.

    • @SmoothCode
      @SmoothCode ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Men are all too keen to tell women to hold the bag - whether they be young or old. No thanks.

    • @annesmith9181
      @annesmith9181 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nah.
      I’d just shame young women for being willing to avail themselves to old wrecks with sacks that hang between their knees, puffy eye bags, turkey necks, grown children, high body count, ex wives, and casual attitudes towards intimacy.
      That’s just plain gross.
      Better off working the customer service desk at a department store and paying your own way than hoaring your way through the geriatric hoarmongers for measly payoff of a house and a yearly Caribbean vacation.

  • @dauphinviennois
    @dauphinviennois ปีที่แล้ว +68

    “But time, it is like charm. You never have as much as you think.”

  • @NYs9thwonder
    @NYs9thwonder ปีที่แล้ว +39

    No one has time. Everyday is a gift. The only time we have, is the time we spent in life.

  • @Diplomastronaut
    @Diplomastronaut ปีที่แล้ว +43

    It’s pretty clear in the social science data that the more highly educated and wealthy a country gets, the less fertile it becomes.

    • @bramposthumus9300
      @bramposthumus9300 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's also clear that the best contraceptive ever devised has a name: feminism.

    • @nicolem889
      @nicolem889 ปีที่แล้ว

      No. The US increased its population by 100,000,000 since the 90s. We already have a housing shortage and job shortage. We don’t need your kids sir. There’s enough.

  • @th4fl4sh4
    @th4fl4sh4 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    All I want is to love and take care of someone who will reciprocate. Too much to ask I guess... When I was in my 20s and 30s, I got rejected by all the women at my age. Now that I'm a handsome, rich doctor, I refuse to date anyone above 32. I'd rather stay single than compromise so much with an older woman. That's my choice just like women rejecting my younger self was theirs.

    • @kamelkani4051
      @kamelkani4051 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      My man 😂

    • @santafilipina9020
      @santafilipina9020 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      So why are you still single if I'm reading your comment correctly?

    • @Va1demar
      @Va1demar ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's right, you need to invest yourself in a good new building and not waste money on dilapidated old buildings in which all sorts of crooks lived and the pipes were all rotten

    • @JohnTheKahn
      @JohnTheKahn ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sure lol

    • @BossItUp911
      @BossItUp911 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@santafilipina9020 " I got rejected by all the women at my age." being a walking wallet for some aging woman who already had her fun isn't appealing.

  • @andremotivation6561
    @andremotivation6561 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Social media, globalized dating market and and a gynocentric society has alot of them in denial about simple biology. It shows alot specifically on dating apps when you see all the women approaching 30+ saying "I'm not looking for fun, I need a responsible provider" the most unattractive thing to say on a dating app.

    • @donkeysaurusrex7881
      @donkeysaurusrex7881 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not unattractive at all. Just know they’ll avoid men who say, “I’m not looking for fun, I’m a responsible provider” just as much when they’re 30+ as when they were 20 or 25.

  • @FrankM
    @FrankM ปีที่แล้ว +125

    That attitude of "I have years to figure it out" results in a bunch of 40-something year old women on dating apps saying they want kids. I've lost count the amount of 44+ year old women wanting their first child. But at least they make it easy for me to pass on them.

    • @clauaome25
      @clauaome25 ปีที่แล้ว

      oh wow!!! that's not ideal

    • @dpstrial
      @dpstrial ปีที่แล้ว

      Many women are totally deluded. They are best left to their own devices.

    • @TV-oc4ml
      @TV-oc4ml ปีที่แล้ว

      They smash the younger guy while making u wait

    • @kelleemerson9510
      @kelleemerson9510 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sounds like dating apps can get you a lot of laughs.

    • @pastelmoon9118
      @pastelmoon9118 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      its risky to have kids in that age in early 30s maybe but above +35 nope even then... if couple wish to have more than 1-2 kids then ideal would have been around 23-27y old trying their first kid

  • @BxBL85
    @BxBL85 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    The older I get the richer I become and least I care about women's problems.

    • @SmoothCode
      @SmoothCode ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Smart women were under no impression that you cared in the slightest in the first place.

    • @BxBL85
      @BxBL85 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      When you get shame language from them, that's where you know you're on the right track. Protect yourselves fella brothers!

    • @SmoothCode
      @SmoothCode 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@BxBL85 enjoy your money but stop acting like you care about anyone but yourself. 😂

    • @cosmo588
      @cosmo588 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Rich people don’t care much about anything except themselves

  • @mrdouche9172
    @mrdouche9172 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Here is my personal anecdotical example. My mother had 3 kids from 35 to 40. First at 35, second at 38, last at 40. Every pregnancy was not easy and had some complications. She had to get not one, not two, but three C-sections. Imagine the strain on the body and reproductive system being cut three times. And all of us had issues. I had lazy eye(had to get surgery when I was a baby). My other brother was born very premature, barely survived, and one of his balls didn't drop(Cryptorchidism) and my parents realized it way later when he was a small kid and he had to get surgery and now he has one smaller ball and very significantly increased chance of testicular cancer. My youngest brother was born fine, then way later when he was like 18, he had a full mental breakdown out of literally nowhere and multiple psychotic episodes and was admitted to a psychiatric ward for quite a few months. He thought he lost his dick(when he didn't obviously) and was hearing voices randomly from people he knew, seeing dogs around him, and other bizzare stuff. He got fine though, so all is well. Studies show that old eggs and old sperm increase chance of psychological issues in a kid, that's why I am mentioning the last one.
    What I am saying here is that it's far far more preferable to get pregnant and have kids earlier, if you want to avoid potentially deadly issues during pregnancy and to maximize the chances of your kids being healthy. Both my grandmother and aunt from my mother's side had kids early, gave birth normally and didn't have any issues.

    • @franknada8235
      @franknada8235 ปีที่แล้ว

      👍

    • @rf-uj5sc
      @rf-uj5sc 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      How old was your father? Asking because psychiatric disorders are correlated more strongly with the fathers age.

    • @mikesolns1364
      @mikesolns1364 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sounds like demons

  • @rajakghosh6602
    @rajakghosh6602 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    A 40 year old woman today thinks she's in her best phase of life all because she can get tons of matches on dating apps. But how be they so naive to jot to make the distinction between lust and relationship interest. So when they do see men their age dating girl in their 20s they have to immediately resort to shaming language.

    • @Pursuit4happiness
      @Pursuit4happiness ปีที่แล้ว

      In my prime guys that where immature I figure they where better off getting there stuff together then get a 20s would be with an older guy mostly traditional marrying a guy with finances basically cuz some guys still remain immature sadly .. but I was the girl in her 20s who could do that .. because just like a guy want a girl with eggs in her prime I would wand a man who makes there sperm in there prime older man don’t make optimal sperm at there older age neither hence it’s visual apparent in there looks immature man didn’t necessarily take care of there health or bad habits as they aged .. and haven’t seen ppl be honest about this what do you think the woman that marry these man cheat there not sexually attached because it’s not by natural selection sexually that there are with these guys it’s finically it’s social survival like dating a lighter person is due to racial survival because sadly it’s still a thing

    • @FrankM
      @FrankM ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Don't tell women that matches does not automatically mean quality. But 40-something year old women will learn the hard way when they approach 50 and are still single.

    • @rsmpride8267
      @rsmpride8267 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Pursuit4happiness leave open the possibility that in your prime you were immature as well.....

    • @n.8899
      @n.8899 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@Pursuit4happinessI couldn't read more than halfway got a headache. Its a shame spending so much time writing a long comment without any one able to read that cause of luck of punctuation points

    • @gibbletronic5139
      @gibbletronic5139 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      They resort to shaming language because they're competing with that 20-something young woman for the same group of men. Once they recognize that their ability to win the game is over, they become bitter, and this is what fuels the venom within their verbal attacks.
      Single childless women past thirty should add between fifteen and twenty years when looking for their prospective partners. Not only will they regain the advantage of being young, but if her man is also childless and he still wants kids, then they are both operating on the same biological clock.

  • @Ivftinianvs
    @Ivftinianvs ปีที่แล้ว +131

    A relevant footnote to this discussion is that taking care of children 0-18 is physically demanding and much easier for one’s body to handle the younger one is. And this goes for both mamas and daddies. Also remember that a parent has to stay up after children are in bed to accomplish anything after working/daycare/school hours, and that gets harder the older you are. Being an older parent is exhausting. ‘Marry right out of college and start having children a year later’ is the ideal. Don’t worry about the money - it will come with time. And a lot less necessary than most people think. (Over consumption of consumer goods is what makes life expensive- cut back to necessities like previous generations had to do and it’s manageable.)

    • @nkrumansantos1794
      @nkrumansantos1794 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      In fact, this is the most important part of reproduction.
      Thanks for expressing exactly what I was thinking.

    • @LisaCulton
      @LisaCulton ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yet, we all (men and women) somehow have the energy to work full-time until we reach retirement age of 65 and beyond.

    • @gregtaylor9806
      @gregtaylor9806 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @LisaCullen - yes, but the point made was, we may not have the energy to do that AND care for children.

    • @LisaCulton
      @LisaCulton ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@gregtaylor9806 What others have done before is possible for you and me. And plenty of parents (and grandparents) have the energy to take care of children and work full time, even if they had children in their late 30s to 50s.

    • @ladybug3380
      @ladybug3380 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Marrying right out of college and have a kid a year later? With what money?!

  • @praveenelumalai8074
    @praveenelumalai8074 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    This man is so articulate with his language. Really great stuff man. Highly thought provoking and reassuring for young guys who are worried about not being in a relationship before 30s. Little did they know they’re actual value begins right around that age.

  • @richardarmstrong6743
    @richardarmstrong6743 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    dude is trying to speak logically to modern women LOL

    • @cosmo588
      @cosmo588 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Modern woman here🙋🏽‍♀️ generalising seems a bit lazy.

  • @mavrk.d
    @mavrk.d ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Bro went full Kevin Samuels with the math. God bless you brother lol

    • @capmidnite
      @capmidnite ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Kevin Samuels, RIP.

  • @michaelzhao1844
    @michaelzhao1844 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    just ended a 5 year LTR at 29, excited to be in the prime of my life :)

    • @mikey92362
      @mikey92362 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      You're still 5 years from starting your prime. It keeps getting better.

    • @Robbielazar
      @Robbielazar ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Good for you! Keep working on yourself, keep working out and stack money. Your 30s will be the best time of your life

    • @MrTraczu
      @MrTraczu ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mikey92362 is 35 better than 30?

  • @valdius85
    @valdius85 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    We went through IVF. We lost many chances. These were tough times.
    People have no idea how hard it is.
    I still do not understand why these women do not speak up to tell their experience to warn the younger generation.

    • @lindseylim8921
      @lindseylim8921 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It goes both ways. Older men are also at higher risk of having offspring with autism and schizophrenia so men should be telling other men to have children by or freeze sperm at 35 and women should also freeze eggs (a sufficient number to offset those that won't survive the process) or have kids by mid thirties. Yet so much of the blame is placed on the women when infertility rates in the US is nearly evenly split between men and women at 9 percent and 11 percent respectively

    • @jasonBGI
      @jasonBGI ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Misery loves company.

    • @FergusHodgson
      @FergusHodgson ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The younger generation do not want to hear it. They prefer to live in a fantasy.

    • @GFD_VIDEOS
      @GFD_VIDEOS ปีที่แล้ว

      Jealousy

    • @jasonm7684
      @jasonm7684 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lindseylim8921 Stop, please just stop. Women like you keep doing this crap. It doesn't go both ways, this is the doctors point. Women have a totally different timeline than men. First of all, freezing eggs/sperm is no the solution to this problem, its expensive and most people cannot possibly afford day to day living, let alone the mini mortagage you take on for this mess you call a solution. Stop lying to yourself and others, or atleast just keep it to yourself.

  • @tiptopdadddy
    @tiptopdadddy ปีที่แล้ว +72

    I’m 53. I have 2 grown children. I was engaged to a woman who had a son in his 20s and another who was a tween. We met when I was 47 and she was 41. We got engaged after dating long distance 2 years, bought a house, car and planned for the future. She broke it off after almost 5 years together, 6 months before I was planning to move in. The pandemic played a role, but almost 2 years later I’m still asking myself, “What was she thinking?”. It’s water under the bridge now and I’ve moved on, but I’m trying to wrap my head around how to find realistic, pragmatic wisdom so I don’t make the same mistakes again. Simply put, in the realm of SMV as my stock goes up hers was going down. We got along well and shared a lot of the same sensibilities. At least in the 1st half of the relationship I genuinely felt like we were simpatico. Perhaps she got too big for her britches or had someone whispering in her ear, but what we did together in the relationship was all the things she could never do by herself before I came along, especially vis a vis financial/emotional stability. It’s incredibly daunting at this stage of life, but also liberating, to go back to the dating pool. Mid-40s is my ideal sweet spot. I don’t want more kids and I do want a financially stable partner. I don’t want to be an ATM with ears, nor do I want an emotional basket case. Until men & women can acknowledge SMV, finances, aging and humbly accepting these realities we will continue to flail around not understanding why it’s all so needlessly difficult.

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      >>She broke it off after almost 5 years together

    • @Philosific
      @Philosific ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Me and my neighbor was talking about this. hes 56.
      His wife left him a year and a half ago, tho he knew shed been cheating for 5 years and never said a word. He was just waiting for his last child to finish HS.
      But she got with some younger guy. Fast forward to the present, he has moved on, now has a 40 something girlfriend. He informed his ex-wife 2 weeks ago, so she didnt hear from anyone else and that they would have no problems since they are still coparenting their last child. She started crying, and even tho she left him why didnt he chase her (which he was never going to do), and sending him loads of text after of pictures of them and how much she hates him. He’s very stoic, and just never respond. Then a few days ago she came over and his gf was there, and she threw a fit, screaming expletives, trying to ram his gf car, and hes now considering getting a restraining order on her…
      Based on what his daughters say, her thinking was she could do better, and that just hasnt panned out the way she thought it would, and dating and life has been tough. She want to get back with him, but she didnt know that he knew she was cheating all that time

    • @georgeelder8415
      @georgeelder8415 ปีที่แล้ว

      Usually these things occur when the woman takes the lead...

    • @tiptopdadddy
      @tiptopdadddy ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@alexmuenster2102 She played herself. I have no idea what she’s doing now and tbh that’s not my concern. Monkey branching is highly probable, but self sabotage is also a way to emotionally regulate. I’m ok with not knowing, but trust me, my quality of life and financial prospects are exponentially better today.

    • @tiptopdadddy
      @tiptopdadddy ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Philosific Yeah, I found out some things she didn’t know I was aware of and that’s why I didn’t chase her. I was a govt contractor for 10 years working on defaulted contracts for DOE. She knew that I’m an excellent detective, not to mention highly intuitive. Sometimes people become reckless because failure is something they can control rather than the unknown of blind faith (despite a tried & true partner). Orion is right on here, unfortunately it’s something that’s become pervasive but impolitic to discuss in mixed company. Sounds like your friend dodged a bullet like I did.

  • @avalanche240
    @avalanche240 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Feminism encourages an abuse of leverage on the part of women. I've given this a lot of thought, given that lost time is the greatest regret one can experience. If a woman fails to convince a man of forgoing his time of leverage as you described, she risks falling into mental instability.

  • @josepsoler4124
    @josepsoler4124 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    And there is more: DIVORCES.
    For the present half the marriages fail and divorce.
    For a woman in her mid twenties or thirties, dating, choosing a man, getting adapted to him and finally marrying may take YEARS.
    If they finally divorce, which is a very likely possibility, she has to begin again. The years pass by and the countdown does not stop

    • @meliciaoliveira9895
      @meliciaoliveira9895 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly. This happened with me 😂 I’m happy that at least I married early.

  • @JohnSmith-lx1xe
    @JohnSmith-lx1xe 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I was on a first date with a psychologist. She was 36 and told me that in the passed she moved on purpose to a smaller village to not be „distracted“ from a relationship advancing her carrier. Now she is planing to get her own office for work. I asked her about having kids and she told me the same BS. „I have enough time.“ I barley kept it together to not laugh out loud. I told her that its already too late but she of course didn’t believed me. Can you imagine, she actively changed her life to reduce the chance to meet somebody because that would distract her from her carrier 🤦‍♂️ That level of mismanaging a life is next level. I‘m so curious how she is doing.

    • @Coastpsych_fi99
      @Coastpsych_fi99 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I’m doing that but I couldn’t care less about marriage or settling down or kids. I’m sure she’ll figure it out.

  • @avlifesavers
    @avlifesavers ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Truth telling is dangerous work. Best of luck to you.

  • @peripheralparadox4218
    @peripheralparadox4218 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    Young men need to know about baby rabies too. I was bitten by a 27yo when I was 20. I had no idea desperate women would steal sperm and force a guy they’ve just met to be a father.

    • @silverhetch3383
      @silverhetch3383 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      yeah, we gotta be careful

    • @merdog3190
      @merdog3190 ปีที่แล้ว

      Was it breaking and entering? Get a ring camera. Did you leave it unlocked? I have misplaced my sperm a few times but never had it stolen. Were you asleep? I kill myself sometimes lol. Jk sorry to hear that ...sports stars and celebrities are regularly told to flush their condoms was that the case?

    • @jackandblaze5956
      @jackandblaze5956 ปีที่แล้ว

      Young men, beware the leg lock. That's where the woman convinces you not to use a condom then locks her legs around you at the "right" moment. There should be a law against this - but there's not. No judge will feel sorry for you

    • @cihuacoatl1887
      @cihuacoatl1887 ปีที่แล้ว

      yeah don't trust someone with "shes taking the pill", the pills that crazy ladies take are not that effective.

    • @tacticalmobile1343
      @tacticalmobile1343 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Did you get a DNA test

  • @paolocosmo6310
    @paolocosmo6310 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You should be the US Surgeon General-a great dose of common sense each time! Thank you, sir!

  • @herbertvonsauerkrautunterh2513
    @herbertvonsauerkrautunterh2513 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I got married at just before 22 and my wife was 25. We squeezed out two kids by the time she was 30. I recommend you do it in your twenties. You can still work, travel, party without any problems. Now I'm 47 and the kids have moved out two years ago. It's great. Look after your health, don't get fat and then live in your forties and onwards. I made the right choice

    • @LisaCulton
      @LisaCulton ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I'm over 50 and downhill mountain biking in the Swiss Alps with my teenager. I think I made the right choice.

    • @herbertvonsauerkrautunterh2513
      @herbertvonsauerkrautunterh2513 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think so. My wife is 52 and she doesn't want to do anything other than acting like an 80 year old. I might move on

  • @MatthewGraham027
    @MatthewGraham027 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Your analogy was generous as you know. I would say that a woman wants to have her last kid by 35 for reproductive health reasons. Going by that, she probably wants to start down the road at 25. 5 years for starting dating, getting married, having some time in the marriage, not everything working out perfectly etc. Then another 5 years from start to finish in having a kid. I think 10 years is a decent rule of thumb to go by. Using that, we should probably tell women that they need to get started down the road at 25.

  • @bestintheworld4850
    @bestintheworld4850 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I once saw a foolish women in some podcast say "we can be great moms and have a great worklife, we can do everything"
    Unfortunetly you can't in real life, we don't have enough time.

  • @jasongravely7217
    @jasongravely7217 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I cannot get enough of these videos. Keep em coming!

  • @bsd1158
    @bsd1158 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I'm 32 and my pregnant girlfriend is 20. It's interesting to hear older childless people criticizing us for "being early". We both want a big family and have the resources to take care of them anyway. Why should we wait lol

    • @jgw9990
      @jgw9990 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Good for you both. How did you meet her out of interest?

    • @JocobsComments
      @JocobsComments 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Excellent

    • @maxk880
      @maxk880 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you're 32 she was 14 when you were 26. You'll have nothing in common to talk about and your marriage will suck

    • @danbaltic9678
      @danbaltic9678 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@maxk880cry me a river. Men find younger ones way more interesting lively and exciting than the ones with the baggage of failed relationships.

  • @cxa011500
    @cxa011500 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It's sad that society has lied to generations of women to think they have unlimited time.

  • @oladeleoyelakin882
    @oladeleoyelakin882 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This video is better titled: The Brutal Honesty!
    This dude was brutally honest! Telling the Truth as it is Bro! 😊

  • @charthers8903
    @charthers8903 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Usually the more arrogant women will stay childless.. It’s kinda sad to watch but they’re so annoying it’s hard to feel empathy

    • @yoshi314
      @yoshi314 ปีที่แล้ว

      makes sense - you don't want that kind of mother for your children.

  • @HofiAgilAghov
    @HofiAgilAghov ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Any young female in the western world should watch this video

  • @bayareaomg
    @bayareaomg ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Rise and shine brothers, may you all navigate the high seas of feminimity with poise

  • @ainke
    @ainke ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Even if you show the REALITY in their faces they will still think they are an exception. Is too far gone.

    • @mesalouis8976
      @mesalouis8976 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know, right? Men are so stubborn.

    • @GreatRetro
      @GreatRetro ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well, those women who think that will die out!!! Those who understand - will continue their lineage! ^_^

    • @mesalouis8976
      @mesalouis8976 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@GreatRetro Nope, women will never go back to being men’s properties. I think you’re forgetting that women were just allowed to own their own credit card/bank account in 1974. Literally, barely 50 years ago a woman needed her husband permission to have have a bank account.
      Your lineage will die out !

    • @vsstdtbs3705
      @vsstdtbs3705 ปีที่แล้ว

      Women dominate voting and laws are bias in their favor, such as custody, support, alimony and employment. A women in their 30's will find a way to get a mans money through the legal system anyway.

  • @JAdams-jx5ek
    @JAdams-jx5ek ปีที่แล้ว +12

    My mom gave birth to the youngest of 4 kids at 40, but she had started dating at 31, and married at 32.

  • @tdaye6978
    @tdaye6978 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    It's amazing that women don't already have this figured out. I've known this since high school, and I didn't exactly go searching for this information. It's just common sense, even to high school boys

    • @jwill9877
      @jwill9877 ปีที่แล้ว

      The majority of them know. What they don't know is the older they get, the less likely they will get a man they actually want. They confuse sleeping with high value men with locking them down.

    • @yoshi314
      @yoshi314 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      women and common sense. pick one.

    • @lorrilewis2178
      @lorrilewis2178 ปีที่แล้ว

      Most women DO know. smh Just because some dumb people exist, doesn't mean most women don't know.

    • @sandboy5880
      @sandboy5880 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Dude, we're talking about women here.
      Nothing makes sense about them.

  • @Pacifica74
    @Pacifica74 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The problem with all this wise advice is it doesn't matter to anyone.....until it does.....when it's too late.

  • @juandrevandermerwe388
    @juandrevandermerwe388 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I agree with most of what he says, except being a high value male when you meet a girl in her 20's and you are in your mid 30's you basically find nothing in common with her because of social media trends etc etc. Sex might be great but everything else won't fit together. Imagine sitting on the couch with your much younger gf and she is doing tiktok trends and dances and the only thing you can talk about is sex and what to get for dinner.

    • @enigmacanine
      @enigmacanine ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Having meaningful conversations is less important than having children

    • @nik11223
      @nik11223 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@enigmacaninewomen are not baby making machines. Obviously having conversations is much more important

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      >>much younger gf and she is doing tiktok trends and dances

    • @TheUnique69able
      @TheUnique69able ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nik11223and men aren’t wallets or your psychiatrists. It baffles me how entitled and stupid women are.

    • @tann_man
      @tann_man ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don't marry a woman who doesn't share your values. If she's on tiktok her brain is too far rotted. That should be an immediate disqualification

  • @valleytiller42
    @valleytiller42 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    We had the last of our six children when my wife was 41. Perfectly normal and healthy. He’s now a grown man that I’m immensely proud of. Raising our kids has 9:50 been an amazing adventure. In spite of the teen years, I’d do it all over again!

  • @leftrom9738
    @leftrom9738 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This Asian doctor lady, might said that not to scare you off. Most women say things they don't believe, or say things to hide their goals like 'oh, I don't really care about tall and rich guys; I just need a guy to make me laugh'

  • @pinchurelo
    @pinchurelo ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hi! Usualy I don't comment anything in the web, ever, but this time I decided to make an exeption. My experience has been diferent me and my wife had our first kid when she was 40 years old, and the second one when she was 42, both of our children are healthy and normal kids, si far, I think we were extremely lucky, I think we are an exeption. When we got married I think we were not going to have kids because our age but fortunately I was wrong. My advise for you is to have children sooner, If you wait, is harde to tale care of them.
    I agree with what you day in your video.

    • @LisaCulton
      @LisaCulton ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're not an exception, but many people will tell you that you are.

  • @robertjones7327
    @robertjones7327 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    A woman will hear all of this and still think they’re the exception

  • @alejmc
    @alejmc ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for arriving on this space with a different tone, it gives at least a different language style for others to listen and to see if people will actually listen…
    My hopes are low judging by some of the reactions during your visit to the FnF quarters, one of the best streams ever in my opinion, yet it was all about demonizing and criticizing, threatening and complaining without even listening to a single second of it.
    Anyways, thanks Doc, it’s one of the most concise time wise too which makes it all the more palatable. Passing it on forward.

  • @AV-xv3ln
    @AV-xv3ln ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Big thank you for you videos. Hands down one of the best psychology videos on YT. Regarding this particular topic, I think we men trying to appeal women with logic, which does not all the time gets along with the way they think. It's logical to us woman's SMV drops after age 30, but it doesn't look like they are capable of understanding.

  • @thenutrientwhisperer3700
    @thenutrientwhisperer3700 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Had baby number four at 40. No complications got pregnant when the husband breathed on me.
    First baby at 34
    Marriage at 30
    Dated six years starting at 24
    Your timetables pretty accurate

    • @WtfReal
      @WtfReal ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Correct me if I’m wrong but at age 35 isn’t that when it’s high risk pregnancy

    • @bustavonnutz
      @bustavonnutz ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@WtfReal Yes, geriatric pregnancy. You're also more likely to have complications if it's your first baby.

    • @lorrilewis2178
      @lorrilewis2178 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@WtfReal No, fertility begins a sharper drop off after 36.

    • @ainsleycrawford4221
      @ainsleycrawford4221 ปีที่แล้ว

      There's evidence that prior pregnancies increase fertility: 20% of women who resorted to IVF for their first child conceived naturally for their second. This may be because pregnancy reverses endometriosis or perhaps they are simply less stressed once they have one child. So, it is expected that a 40yo mother is more fertile than a childless 40yo.

    • @eatshityoutube3271
      @eatshityoutube3271 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lorrilewis2178 its already declining prior to that

  • @stephanie7572
    @stephanie7572 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    When I was in my early 50s and going through menopause a female ob/gyn asked what kind of birth control I was using. Shocked, I said none, I'm over 50. She said, pregnancy can still happen, not likely but it does happen. I'm not sure what she was smoking.

    • @rapamune
      @rapamune ปีที่แล้ว

      She was on the premium copium

    • @rapamune
      @rapamune ปีที่แล้ว

      @@LisaCulton Sure. Everyone can win the lottery by praying to RNGsus, but only a select few ever get a response. Also, have fun explaining to a child why it had to suffer accumulated genetic mutations.

    • @bfbrmm
      @bfbrmm ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's rare, but it does happen. Better safe than, uh, honey? Uh, don't freak out...

    • @rapamune
      @rapamune ปีที่แล้ว

      @@LisaCulton Was about to state the same

    • @dwwolf4636
      @dwwolf4636 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Actually happened to the wife ( 53 yr old ) of my wife's boss.
      The boss died 8 yrs later of cancer.

  • @COACHFSTATON
    @COACHFSTATON 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love how Doc is simply saying the same exact things that Mr. Kevin Samuels has stated over the years.

    • @pmcauslan
      @pmcauslan 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Godfather undefeated 🫡🎺

  • @jayrollo1352
    @jayrollo1352 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Wow this was tough to swallow. And I'm a guy. Makes me want to work harder to get myself to a level where I can find a quality woman who isn't suffering from these issues.

    • @bramposthumus9300
      @bramposthumus9300 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your focus is who YOU want to be. Not who you want to attract. So work hard, focus on you and what you want to achieve. Women are nice to have around but ultimately surplus to requirement in a man's life.

    • @jeffreycfmok
      @jeffreycfmok ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Any woman who has a drop of beauty will play the field. Even women right at the cusp of 30. They will cling onto their beauty like they earned it, and share it with guys who don't deserve it. But I wish you luck though

    • @jayrollo1352
      @jayrollo1352 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed. Gotta be careful. I just want to maximize my options. @@jeffreycfmok

  • @bestintheworld4850
    @bestintheworld4850 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    This is the sad truth that women don't like to hear, but we all men kind of learn to learn to listen to dark truths very early on when we are teenagers.

  • @_herzog_
    @_herzog_ ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Can be anything but can't be everything. That's the line. Nice one

  • @michaelbouwkamp6200
    @michaelbouwkamp6200 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I dated a 36 y.o. woman and broke up shortly after finding out she wanted to have more kids. It's just not ethical to burn up her time when she needs to be fast tracking re-production. And there's no way I'm jumping into fast tracked re-production without the opportunity to vet her, let some other schmuck attempt that.

  • @davebellamy4867
    @davebellamy4867 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    At 36, it's basically the last chance saloon.

  • @shaylagoogle3097
    @shaylagoogle3097 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I feel sorry for woman this day and age because there's alot of players these days. Not alot of commitment minded ppl. So I don't blame some woman to wait. I'd wait if I wanted a child because I rather be in a committed relationship verses being a single mother. Time flys ladies, you don't have all the time in the world like you think. I'm glad I'm over this stage. Good luck ladies in, love, in life and in dating 😘

    • @tigerbear3038
      @tigerbear3038 ปีที่แล้ว

      A lot of men turn into players are getting their hearts broken by women and they find it hard to trust them again

    • @danbaltic9678
      @danbaltic9678 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The problem with most women is that they are not being rational. Average or below women wanting top10% guys.

  • @Yung_Wicklove
    @Yung_Wicklove ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Awesome video! I wish I could go to sleep for 10 years and then wake up to see what this topic will be like in the future.

  • @edwardyoutube
    @edwardyoutube ปีที่แล้ว +7

    If I had a dollar for every time a 29-30+ years old woman told me that "she wasn't sure yet" or "she didn't need to worry about it yet" about having children, well, I'd have quite a few extra dollars to spare. Hopefully they'll listen to this message but somehow I doubt it.

    • @edwardyoutube
      @edwardyoutube ปีที่แล้ว

      @kaelank484 By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. That said, anyone is free to choose their own destiny.

  • @johannesdolch
    @johannesdolch หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The tragic is that women only face this hard reality when they have no time left to actually change. Men face the hard realities of life on the front end, when most of them are invisible to women. Granted, most men don't actually use that as a learning opportunity to become better, they just get by somehow, but at least they have the chance. All women can do is settle. And because they know they settled they are bitter and very bad company for the men they settled with.

  • @BrazilDan1
    @BrazilDan1 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The way it doesn't affect me as much in terms of partner selection (as a man) is that I don't want kids, now or ever. So, for me a partner is chosen more on the basis of compatiblity, personality and attraction, and age doesn't play much of a role. Of course, I can only be a partner with someone who also doesn't want kids. It considerably limits choices (which doesn't mean I've had any real shortage in real life), of course, but I really believe in being with compatible people.

  • @teok8855
    @teok8855 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Dr. Orion I am very curious to hear what you have to say od Sadia Khans take on this, which is the opposite that the game doesn’t change at all its just the age group thats interested in the woman shifts and of course the number of quality partners that are able to maintain a long term relationship is decreasing bc you guessed it, those who have the necessary skills and can communicate usually end up married by 30.
    Edit: I also think that younger women at 25 aren’t interested in the 35 year old man, they are more interested in 0-5 years older men, you can note by the average age gap in marriages.

    • @oops-iam708
      @oops-iam708 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It took me being 27 to date older because I thought it was gross and predatory. I would not date outside 4 years. Sounds petty retrospectively because it depends on the person, I know now.

    • @teok8855
      @teok8855 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@beowulf_of_wall_st absolutely

    • @rf-uj5sc
      @rf-uj5sc 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      The biological clock waits for no woman. But if you're talking about dating and companionship, yest, the game never changes for us women. We are not forever attracted to men at a specific point in time unlike mens attraction to women. Our attraction to men scales with our age. Some 50 year old dude finds a 35 year old woman "young". Some 70 year old dude finds a 50 year old woman "young". And by 60 - almost all of us have hit menopause. We also have a lower desire for male companionship as we age, unlike men who only need women in their lives more as their health declines.

    • @danbaltic9678
      @danbaltic9678 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It depends on a man. I am 31, but due to healthy lifestyle people say I look 22-24. My last gf was 19.

  • @khaledalhasan209
    @khaledalhasan209 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Can you please do a topic of what the things considered cheating in a relationship, not only sex affairs, but anything that considers to be cheating. Thanks you in advance.

    • @quincy189
      @quincy189 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yeah girls consider you watching porn or like texting a female friend cheating lol

    • @mikey92362
      @mikey92362 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      If it involves another person and you feel like you have to hide it from your partner, then it's cheating.

    • @mikey92362
      @mikey92362 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@quincy189if you are willing to let her see the text messages, all of them, then it's not cheating.
      What I can't understand is why you'd want a female as a friend. There's literally zero benefit for a man to have a female friend. You're being used.

    • @DNA350ppm
      @DNA350ppm ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Don't do anything if you wouldn't like it, if your spouse (partner) would do it. Normal decency.

    • @quincy189
      @quincy189 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DNA350ppm not just as a guy but things that girls do that are also considered cheating like does dressing up seeking attention before grocery shopping count

  • @fhdb478
    @fhdb478 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My wife always knew that. We had our first child at 27 and couldn't have another one afterwards, despite trying it all directly before turning 30.
    The pain of going through IVF several times, spending our limited money as young professionals and then not succeeding... It was hard. Even now, 8 years later, it is a burden on us and our marriage and we have to constantly work through it.
    Now imagine you have to add the guilt of being responsible for all of this pain because you thought you had all of the time in the world. Must be soul crushing.

  • @gtanists6350
    @gtanists6350 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Man you be breaking it down perfectly thanks 🙏🏾 for making me sound smart out here in these streets🙌🏾

  • @GandalftheWise
    @GandalftheWise 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Coming from BGS. Subscribed!

  • @marcoelhodev
    @marcoelhodev ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This felt like a sucker punch, even for a man, but the hard truth is, women need to have their lives figured out by their 30's - Who is going to be their long term partner and father of their child, when they are going to marry and have their first child, if they are going to live a career life, or if they are going to build a family. It sadly reminded me of past girlfriends, who remained unmarried and childless into their 40's. Women who would have made good mothers, still thinking they can achieve it. I kinda hope they do, but I don't expect it.

  • @sonicleaves
    @sonicleaves ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I see no problem with women choosing not to get married or have children. They want to be alone, let them be alone. Tell me what the issue is? Just curious why people keep talking about this?

    • @eshamilton2819
      @eshamilton2819 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Cause you keep clicking

    • @stranger7025
      @stranger7025 ปีที่แล้ว

      I also don’t understand it. As a man i am happy for women who are childless and happy. Evolution will just erase their genes. But who cares? It’s life let’s enjoy it🎉

  • @nina.cazimi
    @nina.cazimi ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Indeed I couldn't agree more. But when I was young, I remember back then (1994 - 2004) women in their 30's where shamed for their desire to start a family, it was considered as if they want to trap men for their own advantage and they were to be avoided. So I think there is an interaction not something that comes from women only.

    • @ayeshak6822
      @ayeshak6822 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lol. Correct. Men on here acting as if they don't contribute to this tragedy.

    • @bramposthumus9300
      @bramposthumus9300 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@ayeshak6822 Only to the extent that men generally determine who they will commit to. As is their right.

    • @nina.cazimi
      @nina.cazimi ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@bramposthumus9300A right? Women resort to abortions as babies can be undesirable not only to them but to their partners as well (a limitation to their freedom). It is the norm (shown in the data - increasing numbers) yet men won't pay any price for this instictual behaviour.

    • @bramposthumus9300
      @bramposthumus9300 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nina.cazimi I don't see the problem here. In a civilised nation, women decide what happens with and inside their bodies. They have bodily autonomy and integrity. As a consequence there are four possible scenarios: both he and she want the child - the child is born; he does not want the child and she wants it - the child is born; he wants the child and she does not, for instance because she has been raped, is the victim of incest or another crime - there will be no child; both do not want the child - there will be no child. And that's basically it.

    • @nina.cazimi
      @nina.cazimi ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@bramposthumus9300 An oversimplification. The willingness of a woman to have a child unwanted by the father doesn't mean she will impose it to him.

  • @jared3003
    @jared3003 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Please doc, stop being nice.
    They have been told but they refuse to listen.

  • @brandongray1059
    @brandongray1059 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I consider a lot of this situation to be a failure by modern women's parents who clearly failed to raise their daughters properly. You'd think their mothers would raise them to not run into these types of land mines that automatically come with being a woman.

    • @GreatRetro
      @GreatRetro ปีที่แล้ว

      Whole Western society is a result of NOT BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR KIDS WHEN THEY ABSOLUTLY DESERVE IT!!!

    • @merdog3190
      @merdog3190 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They may try but it really takes a father to instill those values. Single moms either let them run wild or try to control them believing that they will be abstinent.

    • @merdog3190
      @merdog3190 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      In fairness the right father

    • @savioblanc
      @savioblanc ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Many times it's their own mothers, angry with having to raise children and miss out on a career, that raise their girls to delay marriage as long as possible, demanding they study and have a career first and then marry and have children and then are shocked that their ageing daughters are depressed working long hours but have also lost their chance in marrying the kind of man they wanted and have no kids or try become single moms in desperation.

    • @lindseylim8921
      @lindseylim8921 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Did your father teach you that the chances of having a child with autism is 28 percent higher among fathers who are in their 40s, and 66 percent higher for men in their 50s, compared to fathers younger than 30?

  • @Dr.guydoingthings
    @Dr.guydoingthings 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My dad was 42 when he had me. Nuts to think about

    • @AnEmerald
      @AnEmerald 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's not. I think it's a lie that a 40 yr old is geriatric. I think a 40-49 woman can have a very healthy and strong child.

  • @willybobo8846
    @willybobo8846 ปีที่แล้ว

    well done sir... love the modern take on psych... and actually being truthful... so much crap out there...

  • @justinguerrera8322
    @justinguerrera8322 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love the math on that. Trued to explain that to woman so many times. They just dont get it or maybe want to admit it.

  • @Bluesmoke4200
    @Bluesmoke4200 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Some of what Dr. Orion is saying is true but the reason it gets so much pushback is that these "facts" are rarely shared from a place of love/wanting to help women. They are usually gleefully trumpeted by bitter red pill/incel type men who have issues with women because they have been rejected by them their entire lives and have revenge fantasies about "getting even" with the women who rejected them as they age.
    I think if the information were delivered in a disinterested, unbiased manner more women would be receptive to it. So I give Dr. Orion kudos for not being just another bitter woman-hating incel and presenting the information in a factual, emotionally neutral manner.

  • @mrpleasent6038
    @mrpleasent6038 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This happened to us - 5 rounds of ivf which didn’t work… my partner devastated- more needs to be done to alert women to the realities of biology which have existed for thousands of years…

  • @lesego5718
    @lesego5718 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m 28, an ex partner of mine wanted us to prepare for pregnancy this year. He is now 49, he kept on telling me how I’m “running out of time” when in reality he was the one running out of time. A man at that age is most likely to have a child with autism after the age of 50. Especially that he does not live a healthy lifestyle so the quality of his sperms are low. Also his biological age is a lot higher than his actual age. A lot of the time men do project their own fears onto women. A young woman in her early twenties who is overweight and is at high risk of diabetes and have other reproductive health issues like cystic fibrosis, etc will still have a difficult time conceiving. A young woman who is also experiencing hormonal imbalances will also experience difficulty conceiving. Putting pressure on a woman to marry at that age is fairly unrealistic since they are not mature enough and don’t have enough dating experience to figure out what kind of man they like.
    I don’t oppose the fact that time is a factor, but why marry young when your relationships are not successful?

  • @kingdingaling9756
    @kingdingaling9756 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    6:10 math breakdown needs to become a viral short or meme

  • @LittleMew133
    @LittleMew133 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My motto is more like "time is not the master of me", which completely negates the amount of time I have. Can't lose if you don't even play the game.

  • @JamesRogers233
    @JamesRogers233 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I mean, I understand what you're saying and don't doubt the science behind it. However, my mom was 38 when she had me, and I turned out fine with no physical defects, and a moderate degree of intelligence. Not the most amount of brains but enough to realize when I flunked out of college that I should probably join the Navy so I wouldn't be living with the parents, and I can support myself now.
    Point I'm trying to make is that while I think I may have gotten off incredibly lucky, it's not entirely impossible to have successful births in the high 30s.

    • @jgw9990
      @jgw9990 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You won the lottery and therefore everyone should try it - basically what you say

    • @JamesRogers233
      @JamesRogers233 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jgw9990 no I did not say I won the lottery. I'm saying that it's not the end of the world if a woman is in her mid 30s. I was still C Sectioned out. It wasn't perfect but I turned out healthy. I'm saying that if a woman realizes "hey I'm 35 and I don't have kids yet it must be too late for me" that there's still a chance she can have a healthy babe and I'm walking proof of that. I was born in 1990 and I imagine medicine must have improved a bit in the past 33 years. Yes, I acknowledge I'm lucky, but I'm also living proof that the dream isn't dead. It's called hope.

  • @tahirah6
    @tahirah6 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I just want to say I love what you do .

  • @ahsim84
    @ahsim84 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I had a serious illness in my early 30s, that lasted years! Then i dated a man that wasted my time. Now I'm nearing 40. I know my time has past for children and it saddens me

  • @moenibus
    @moenibus 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The Wall is undefeated

  • @BasementBerean
    @BasementBerean ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My experience is purely anecdotal, but I've noticed that thinking in a long-term strategic manner is less common among women than men. Thinking like "what will my current trajectory in life result in five, ten, etc. years from now" isn't something women seem as wired as men to do. Thoughts?

    • @memesofproduction3
      @memesofproduction3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Women are not cut out for the dreams they have been sold by feminism. Most women I have come across have barely any financial literacy or any kind of passion or drive for the work that they do.

    • @lorrilewis2178
      @lorrilewis2178 ปีที่แล้ว

      Disagree.

    • @lorrilewis2178
      @lorrilewis2178 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@memesofproduction3 You don't get out much. My main doctor is a woman. Plenty of female accountants, attorneys, surgeons, etc . . .

  • @LiberPater777
    @LiberPater777 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I don't know _any_ woman that would be even _partially_ receptive to any form of reality or truth, even when sugar coated.

  • @charlie-km1et
    @charlie-km1et ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Yup. I just got out of a relationship with a women who thinks she has all the time in the world. And without a doubt she doesn’t. At some point her best attributes just aren’t interesting or long lasting when her worst attributes come to the surface. Instead of being realistic about this the women thinks they can manipulate a man to want them through coercion. And any man worth their salt says have a nice life.

  • @SwatiLaPerre
    @SwatiLaPerre 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    There are already so many unwanted children that need a loving home. It's not a race. Shaming people for their life choices when the "American dream" turned out to be a mirage isn't very generous. It's not an easy time to be alive and I believe having sensitivity for ourselves and others are needed more than ever. ❤

  • @deshaunjackson8188
    @deshaunjackson8188 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The exception not the rule here my mom had me when she was 42

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You have older siblings? Having a FIRST child at 42 is quite different from having a 2nd or 3rd at that same age.

  • @carlosferreira5709
    @carlosferreira5709 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very clarifying. Thank you.

  • @albertvirgil4471
    @albertvirgil4471 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Pls do this for men too. I am a man and I want to know.

    • @LisaCulton
      @LisaCulton ปีที่แล้ว +4

      There is an increased risk for genetic abnormalities with advancing paternal age. I'm not sure why he left that out. But he's not medical doctor, so may he really isn't aware.

    • @Wen6543
      @Wen6543 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​​@@LisaCultonStill the odds of having healthy children are extremely high, cry all you want but thats that. We, men, are built to last and procreate practically until we die, and thats that.

    • @LisaCulton
      @LisaCulton ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Wen6543 Yes, I agree with what you said, "the odds of having healthy children are extremely high". Those are the odds for a pregnancy that goes to term. Nearly all babies are healthy, no matter the age of the parents. Think about it.

  • @elimeir8558
    @elimeir8558 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My dad put it this way, men age like fine wine, women, age like milk.

  • @MF_DOOMer
    @MF_DOOMer ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Becareful O.T. Too much truth will get you canceled.

  • @davebellamy4867
    @davebellamy4867 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's almost a definition of insanity to miss plentiful opportunity to do something as important as childbearing when it's physically the least risky and leave it until when it's most risky, especially to the child.

  • @MrBoxofplastic
    @MrBoxofplastic ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I got a vasectomy today. Now I have to find a woman in her 30s who doesn't want (more) kids. It's like a needle in a haystack.

    • @Dewane1511
      @Dewane1511 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      needles in the stack of needles…

    • @aygwm
      @aygwm ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The great Tom Leykis recommended never disclosing your vasectomy status to your partners

    • @donfabian1542
      @donfabian1542 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Congratulations, good decision! I got myself a vasectomy 5 years ago, never regretted it.
      From my experience (I am in my early 40ies), there will be a lot of women wanting to have children in their 30ies. Still there are those who don't want any children (or more children), and those will love that you have a vasectomy 😊.

    • @deanchur
      @deanchur ปีที่แล้ว

      @@aygwm Also get it notarised by 3 different doctors that state that reproduction for him is impossible.
      Can STILL remember a story I read over 10 years ago about a guy who had the snip (and got notarised in triplicate) who was dating a woman who "accidentally" got pregnant. She was all giddy about being able to trap him with "our baby", and would go nuts if he had doubts, so he left it until 8 months to drop the bomb.

    • @franknada8235
      @franknada8235 ปีที่แล้ว

      If she's already hit 27 and hasn't attempted long term fully serious partnership, instead had several men, then she has played herself out (and played out the men too) and you are in no moral obligation to disclose such "personal health issues". Even less so if she's already 30.
      I.o.w. it depends on her history (her actual character) what moral code will match her quality level.

  • @flemutter7211
    @flemutter7211 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don’t believe you need the disclaimer at the end Dr Orion, there isn’t anyone online that deals with these issues as non emotionally as you.
    You don’t inspire anger in men(party trick for inter-gender content)it always feels more like a scientific dissection.

  • @gamers_united558
    @gamers_united558 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is funny cause I always say to my wife and her friends, if a woman doesn’t get married or close to getting married by 30. The woman have problems.

    • @pastelmoon9118
      @pastelmoon9118 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      my father were pedofile, used and tortured his kids till our early adulthood. Had no choice but to cut ties in my mid 20s. I lived very isolated life because of the abuse.
      I never were allowed to date , never allowed to do things what normally kids could do. Have issues with communicating with people and intimacy.
      Im +30 now, starting to find peace in life likely too traumatized to have kids but would like to date someone who dont wish to have kids either.
      My priority now is to heal, not pass on generational trauma which I found out this continues 2 generation already. I will end it and take it down with me.
      but yk what makes me angry? the ignorant people like you who have no idea what people go through and they still expect them just party, hook up etc stupid route?
      I never hooked up, I never drink or smoke.. always had the mentality be with one person through lifetime or with nobody.
      More I meet people... more I value the time with my dog. 90% of the people in this world are gross...

    • @aquepaique
      @aquepaique 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@pastelmoon9118 I felt sympathy towards you and then the sympathy disappeared so abruptly after I continued reading.

    • @pastelmoon9118
      @pastelmoon9118 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@aquepaique
      I dont think I would want to know you either
      😂

  • @ianhorne9594
    @ianhorne9594 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Dam me and my brother must’ve been miracle children, cause my mother had my brother at 40, and me at 41. And we’re both perfectly healthy

  • @ironmonkey1512
    @ironmonkey1512 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It's true for men to. If you fritter away your 20s finding yourself instead of working on your future it costs you to the tune of millions of dollars or early retirement. Don't ask me how I know....

  • @someguyusa
    @someguyusa ปีที่แล้ว +50

    I recently broke up with a lovely 32 year old Cuban woman who was finishing up her dissertation for her RN program because she still wanted to travel and have fun adventures for another 5 years or so before considering having kids. I was baffled that she, as a trained RN, was ignoring the realities of fertility risks as a woman ages. She wasn't the promiscuous sort which was great, but she was stubbornly ignoring these other things as if she were going to be young forever.
    edit: To the idiots making baseless speculations about my ex-gf, you know nothing of me, her, or our relationship. Kindly go away with your redpill rage nonsense.

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      >>She wasn't the promiscuous sort

    • @flemutter7211
      @flemutter7211 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      She IS the promiscuous kind with the RIGHT man… why do you think she’s holding out?

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว

      I guess she had no GBD.

    • @tigerbear3038
      @tigerbear3038 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s why it’s off putting to see women rave about travelling in their dating profiles. I’m more attracted to women who sounds more intentional and serious. If they put they want to find a special someone or start a family, it may sound more boring but it’s more appealing to me. After all , most people only travel 0-2 times a year. I want someone that I can have fun with even in the most boring of times

    • @clauaome25
      @clauaome25 ปีที่แล้ว

      maybe she simply isn't considering children at all

  • @RupertMcGruber
    @RupertMcGruber 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Facts! Thank you, doctor.

  • @d.e.b.b5788
    @d.e.b.b5788 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You will never convince women who feel entitled to marry a prince, that they should rush or settle. This the type of woman who should look into animal husbandry; specifically, adopting a houseful of cats, because that's where they are going to wind up. My 70 y/o sister, 75 year old cousin, three ex girlfriends who all dumped ME, are all their neighborhood's 'crazy cat lady'. Meanwhile, I was married for ten years, got divorced, and have had plenty of younger women to choose from since then. Men's social options skyrocket as we get older, while women's options sink into the quicksand. Lucky me!