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The 3 lies that made these conservative Christians quit home-schooling
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มิ.ย. 2023
- Why did two Christian parents, both of whom were home-schooled, choose to send their four kids to public school?
Because they discovered three lies conservative Christians believe about public schools.
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Thank you to Yanely Del Rosario for providing captioning help!
As a former Jehovah’s Witness I missed out on a lot of opportunities growing up. My organization till this day dissuades their young followers from going to college. I decided it’s never too late for me to do the right thing. I’m 44 years old but I’m free and I can finally do what I always wanted. I will finish college. I can do it.
Hell yes you can. Good for you.
My mom's cousin was part of that cult for a long time too. My whole childhood and then some. She got out maybe five years ago and is now going through college too, she's leaving this week for Europe to take part of an exchange program. Incredibly proud of her.
And I have no doubt you'll do just as well. Go get 'em.
Absolutely! You got this!
You got this bud.
Congrats! I wish you luck with whichever path in college you take
My mum never went to university as a young person because women in her day from her social class generally didn’t. She went to university as a “mature student” with financial backing from my father. She went on to complete three degrees. It’s never too late to get an education.
With EDUCATION, a person is taught HOW to think.
With INDOCTRINATION, a person is told WHAT to think.
I like that! Your correct. Never made that simplistic obvious comparison. This is a great subject. I've posted many FB posts concerning the god of Christianity/Judaism commanding murder including many other criminal acts deemed that public society has deemed felonious criminal acts. Just one good example: public execution of women in front of their parents and friends by all their male neighbors. Why? Wait for it.....simply for not having her hymen in tact before marriage or before her husband has intercouse with her. This is not just bizarre. It's 100% Evil.
Approximately 90% of my FB friends identify as evangelical Christians. Only 1 or 2 ever care to comment. Most Christians that clearly know and understand the evil commands of their God , SIMPLY DON'T CARE WHAT IS IMMORAL/UNETHICAL IN THEIR BIBLE. THEY HAVE SEARED THEIR CONSCIENCE. ONE OF THE MANY REASONS CONTRIBUTING TO THEIR SILENCE AND/OR LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON HORRIBLE ACTIONS BY THEIR GOD IS ATTRIBUTED TO PERCEIVED UNBREAKABLE MENTAL PRISON OF BELIEF AND INDOCTRINATION. THEY ARE REMINDED TO NOT LEAN UPON THEIR UNDERSTANDING AND OF COURSE THREATS WITH THE PROMISE OF PHYSICAL TORTURE BY THE SAME DEMI-GOD REQUIRING EVERY HUMAN TO WORSHIP HIM AS THE ONE AND ONLY GOD OF THE UNIVERSE.
Dogma is the antithesis of critical thinking
So which of these is "public schooling"? You got it right, indoctrination.
The mixed messages I often got, growing up in a very conservative Christian environment, was to examine the evidence and the Bible for yourself, which I did. Then they paused and would say to wait and let the preacher talk about this in a sermon. To this day, I am accused of not listening to "both sides," even though I do try to examine many sides (often there is more than two), just because I come to a conclusion they don't like.
@@Enki1013 "I do try to examine many sides (often there is more than two)"
Salute! While I suspect more than a few people recognize the possibility of many choices, it is rare to encounter an expression of this possibility.
My family became fundamentalist Baptist when I was eleven. Fortunately my family was not ready to homeschool and my dad was a school board member. All of my sibling however did homeschool their children. It made for some very ignorant nieces and nephews. One of my nephews tested to become a sheriff's deputy in Orange county California only to be told that his home school diploma wasn't recognized and he would have to obtain his GED. I think that home schooling is awful. I am the black sheep liberal of the family who finally left religion altogether in my forties. I am 61 now.
Hello, my fellow black sheep 💚
I had a blacksheep friend who calculated the inertia of a wood his father used to hit him several times a day.
He knew how several velocities felt as impact and eventually went to work as an IMPACT SAFETY researcher with a car company.
I guess hitting kids really make successful people.
Attention sheep here a little secret. After u read u will experience a great power. But if I'm lying u won't feel a thing. The Illuminati aka fallen angels aliens NASA what ever you want to call them in there flying tin cans. Can't get out of lower orbit because of the vacuum. Universe is only 77 thousand SQ miles big breathable air through out space angels have to breath. Mars is only 250 miles away sun an moon are much closer an only a acre big. Heaven is on Mars moon that's what all the thrusters are for space x Star ship try to punch through the vacuum and destroy Mars moon heaven. I cleaned out hell left the light's on. I ripped the soul out the devil after he went dragon just to make it a fair fight. Now u can experience Jesus healing energy all old aches and pains will be washed away takes 30 minutes best to relax and shut yr eyes. Warning it is intense
@@clusterstagethat is horrifying, but good for him to no longer be in that situation. I hope he is able to heal from the abuse :(
I can relate to so much of your story.. except im 44 and have finally found the courage to be more open about my views and identity (over the past decade or so)..
It was having kids. They did save me from the internalized crap from my toxic family systems, and their religious beliefs.
My granndpa was raised methodist but converted to senventh day adventist when he met my grandma and her family...that side of my family has been adventist for at least 6 or 7 generations...
Super deep into the old testament, fundamentalist beliefs, purity culture and patriarchy... they are just more solemn about everything. And have to ignore anything uncomfortable, unseemly etc...
Sigh. Sorry i mustve gotten a bit triggered and rambling. Ill save the really deep stuff for when my phone isnt glitching.
Much love encouragement and solidarity to each of you ❤
I was raised by "spare the rod spoil the child" parents and was beaten for the smallest childish infraction. I was raised to never question authority figures and to "do as I'm told". I now have high functioning anxiety. I was never taught how or allowed to be skeptical and remained that way until I turned 40. It's a dangerous and abusive way to raise children. I am still deconstructing my religion and learning to question everything. Good on these parents
My heart goes out to you. I was raised the same way. I deconstructed in my mid-late twenties.
That thing about beating a child that's old enough to crawl was stomach-churning. I can only begin to imagine the damage to the limbic system of the brain.
Do they want to make their children ideal victims for pedos? 🤦🏼♀️
@@QueenB33-s3b the Pearls should be incarcerated for the harm they have done to kids.
Obedience is overrated. Also some parents confuse asking questions with willfulness or disobedience
I found this story interesting. I grew up homeschooled as an evangelical Christian influenced by the Pearls. I went to public school from 9th grade to high school graduation, and during that time I was able to get out of a cultish conspiratorial mindset and conservative politics, and not long after graduation I was able to deconstruct my faith, and well now I’m here. Going to public school is a good way to get out of an insular bubble and meet other people with differing experiences and views
I have to wonder how much of the fear mongering about public schools, is to keep kids away from exactly what helped you.
Congratulations for having the courage and honesty to make those difficult choices. I was raised by devout Atheists and can’t imagine what it must be like to scrutinise and evaluate my epistemological foundation and reject it. That is incredibly brave.
Victimhood mindset with conspiracy belief that the world is conspiring against them, Cult behavior and fear mongering and hatred towards others is the trademark of all Abrahamic religion.
It is how a certain section of Semites/Canaanites who created the Jewish identity who chose to worship only Yahweh and rejecting other Canaanite gods.
That's exactly why they fear it. I begged and pleaded with my parents to allow me to go to my public High School after I had gone to a Christian school for middle school. I was literally terrified of the quality of education I would receive in Christian High School. I already knew I was well behind my peers who had the benefit of advanced placement education. They gave in, and it is the one thing I credit them for doing exactly right for my well-being despite their religious reservations. As I did in fact turn out to be the one person in the family who is liberal with a highly developed sense of empathy, I'm sure they deeply, deeply regret it to this day.
That's exactly why public schools should be banned. Their indoctrination erases our own indoctrination.
The moment someone says "groomer" and my pet isn't involved, I assume everything after will be BS & simply ignore them. Which is a shame because groomers do exist. It's becoming senseless noise. I'm worried they're purposely making the word meaningless so actual pedophiles in the church can continue abusing children without interference. Just a thought, I hope I'm wrong.
Every conservative accusation is a projection
Maybe you should look into the actual specifics of the accusations. The term has certainly been misused at times, but it is referencing a real problem.
If you refuse to look, you will never see. So look, and make your own judgements.
Most churches have taken aggressive actions to prevent child molestation for decades. Many lessons were learned in the 1990's, both by religious organizations and by their insurance companies!
@@mamadragonful Then why do we still have religious leaders/members being accused and/or charged with abuse nearly every day? My point was it's being misused, making it easier for real perpetrators to get away with the crime & that may be WHY they misuse the term. When someone says "all dems/teachers/libs/etc. are groomers" they are full of sh** and you know it.
Well it's definitely the goal of the politicians spouting it, especially Epstein's friends
Grooming IS the purview of religions and people brainlessly carry it out. I grew up in an abusive family that used religion to control me and beat me. At one point I was beaten seven days a week and sometimes twice a day and you know why? Because I refused to believe that their abuse was right and dared to tell them so. It was evil what they did. I was forced into a marriage I did not want but had become too weak and mindless to fight. I have spent an entire lifetime trying to overcome the abuse and excuses religion allowed for them to get away with something so criminal. Don't you DARE suggest schools are grooming children for perverts when the real perverts are religions. You know what? My story is not the exception, but the rule in the USA because of religious figures deciding to interpret the Bible in the way they wish. The original texts the Bible is translated from are SO different from what is taught and how the present Bible translations are presented that I am appalled, to say the least.
My heart breaks knowing that someone wrote and published a playbook on child abuse. It took me 30 years to be able to admit that the "punishment" I received growing up was indeed physical and emotional abuse.
I'm sure there are many similar books out there.
I went to a private catholic school from k-8, talk about an indoctrination center. I'd had enough and flat out refused to go to a catholic highschool. As much as my mom tried to get me to go I refused. Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. A simple world cultures assignment lead me down the rabbit hole to atheism at 14yrs old.
Public schools get a bad wrap, some are bad but most are decent and some excel. My kids went to public school and they're engineers and scientists. So I applaud them I wish more people would put their kids first.
It's the premise of Ladybird where her non religious or Protestant parents scrimp to send her to a private Catholic school because there were stabbings at the local public high school her older brother attended. Her mother is a nurse while her father is temporarily unemployed.
At the school, they wear a uniform and are taught in single sex classes. In morning assembly, girls and boys sit separately. It reminds me of the state schools I went to in the UK, but they were more Church of England than Catholic.
I’m really sorry that was your experience. I attended public schools from kindergarten through university, but my kids attend a Catholic school. The focus is on God’s love rather than anger and punishment, and the academic experience is superior to most of our local public schools. It is great for them. Remember that insecure men project their insecurity onto God.
As an atheist, this may not mean much to you now, but just wanted to share my sympathy over your bad experience. All the best.
@@lemsip207
No it was nothing like that for me. My mom was the lead cook at the school and forced me to go, that's all it was free.
@@ericdaniel323
I gave up believing in fairy tales, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and mythical deity's long before I left catholic school. I just didn't tell my mom until I was 14yrs old. That assignment I mentioned, showed me that everything I was taught was a lie, stolen and plagiarized from cultures that predated catholicism and christianity by thousands of years. The deeper I went on my own after the assignment I saw how hypocritical religion was and is and refused to be a part of it. I've looked at religion as nothing more than a bunch of false promises an exaggerated claims ever since. No way I could subject my kids to that in good conscious.
the sad thing is those right wingers denying their kids education ... their whole world is built on people who did get that education. Doctors, scientist, engineers, nurses, even builders, plumbers, electricians etc ... they all got educations and they all built the world we live in.
I homeschooled for 5 years. We used an accredited program that allowed for a seamless return to school when our situation changed. These days most states partner with k-12 to provide an online, free public education. We used a paid, private, non religious program.
My daughter is 21, about to start her senior year of college. Shes in the honors program at her first choice university.
We homeschooled because my daughter couldn't write using a pen or pencil and the doctors couldn't figure out why. So, I brought her home and taught her to type. She returned to public school for HS, computer in hand.
She was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos as a senior in part because of a teacher who advocated for her to get an IEP so she could take the ACT and SAT with a computer accomodation.
You're one of the relatively few that did/do good wrt homeschooling. However, your anecdote doesn't mean homeschooling is always OK. Or even the route to go.
@@edgarmatzinger9742 Exceptional cases like hers prove the rule. When the large group can't accommodate medically indicated needs then supports need to be put into place. If they can't (or as is more often the case, won't) support those medically indicated needs then it's appropriate.
@@edgarmatzinger9742 - no it doesn't. There is absolutely no oversight. I was the only person in the social group for homeschoolers that used an accredited program.
The cost of the program we used was 7k a year. We had family assistance. We also only have 1 kid.
The big take away from our story is to use an accredited program. K-12 is now free in most states, and is accredited.
It makes a return to public education easy. My FIL came to live with us suddenly because his wife died and he had dementia. Situations change suddenly and a return to public school may need to happen at any point
@@edgarmatzinger9742 - Forgot to mention that lots of these kids don't get the chance to socialize much. We joined a group for homeschoolers, utilized our community center programs and our daughter chose to get involved in dog sports. She went to summer camps for a few weeks. Doing this right is expensive and time consuming. We gave up a lot to do this. It had a lot of benefits but it's a full time job
Also, it took a public school teacher to point us in the right direction for a diagnosis because he had seen it before.
There are a few understandable reasons. I use to tutor dyslexic kids. I had a client who was homeschooled (the schools imo are doing a better job with dyslexic kids but it wasn't always the case). In the case of this child he was very severe-- could barely read at 4th grade. Anyway, they were on an air force base so went from school to school. There was a local group that supported the families-- provided curriculum (not religious), clubs and activities, science classes, field trips, PE, etc. I think what they did was make a little school where some instruction was at home, but assisted. There was also a social group for mothers who didn't have much contact in the community. I believe it may be sort of the exception that proves the rule.
One thing I will say- while most people leave religion for reasons other than trauma, trauma is still a perfectly valid reason to leave.
If the organization that is supposed to be there to guide & support you fails -or worse, turns on you in a time of hardship -you are well within your rights to distance yourself from that environment & look for what you need elsewhere!
That's just what my wonderful conservative christian family did. Kicked me when I was down. I and my two young children could have used some love but no, we got hurt instead. Haven't spoken to my family and bonus: they did it because they "loved" me so I now hate the word "love", I think it's bullshit, which it usually is. If you love me, you're going to have to show it, not say it, and I am watching and I'm hard to fool.
@@grayisgood I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you & your children are doing alright now?
Please don’t write off love entirely. No doubt you know it for your children’s sakes, better than your family ever did
@@averycheesypotato Love exists but 99% of the time you hear someone talking about love, it's not love. It's self serving bullshit. Define "alright". It was a long time ago, that's all. Thanks for your nice words though, I don't get that a lot.
I wasn't home schooled, but my christian upbringing made things more difficult for me at school, and just learning things in general. It's one of the reasons I am anti-theist.
Yep, same on all counts.
@@faysaleladdouti8394 You forgot to mention the orange, it is full of vitamin C and the letter C is the first letter in Christ. Also, the orange itself encomposes the relationship between God and us. If you cut the orange in half you can see a white shape in the center which represents God because it is white and shiny. We are the seeds within and the skin of the orange represents sin because we know things that don't taste very good are sin. The seeds are directly between God and Sin but are spaced unevenly to represent everyone's unique jouney to become more like christ. The "OR" in ORange means you choose God or sin. Also, "range" in oRANGE is in reference to everone's differnt journey which is reflected in the seed position of the fruit. "RANG" in oRANGe refers to the ringing of a telephone and how God calls us and it is up to us to receive the call and accept Christ. Lastly, if you rearrange the letters and drop the e you get GROAN which represents human's reaction to God's wrath.
@@faysaleladdouti8394 fun thing: Allah was originally a moon-god before Mohammed Made It the main god of His movement
@@faysaleladdouti8394 "The lunar cycle takes about a month. This indicates order." What does it mean for something to indicate order? This sentence is meaningless. Why would the fact that the moon falls in circles around the Earth mean anything other than that it does? When you say that it 'indicates order', what do you think it proves? How do you think that it proves that someone designed it? And how doesn't the fact that it's just falling in circles because of gravity disprove that?
(There are other problems with your post of course, but I'm not expecting an answer, so I'm stopping at the first objection.)
@@faysaleladdouti8394do bananas help with Erectile Dysfuntion? Do peaches make a woman's Gooch moist?
Do eating shark make a person hungry for surfers and seals? Or maybe people who eat fish just become better swimmers?
Not for religious reasons, but we tried 3 different charter schools that seemed perfect for our 3 atypical kids. But all the kids ended up back in public school and that was much better, because the smaller charter schools didn’t really have the resources to provide every variety of specialized service to atypical kids, and when the schools were openly not conforming to regulations there was only a limited amount of higher-ups that we could appeal to. We ended up appealing to corporate boards that were more interested in lawyering their way out of liability instead of actually doing what our kids needed. Public schools turned out to have so many resources and specialized teachers and oversight that we got much better results
This makes me so happy to hear. I'm a high school public school teacher in a co-teach class and neurodivergent kids are the whole reason I got into education. I wish more people would understand that we want to work with parents for the same goal. If more parents would team up with teachers against admin we could get sooo much more for our kiddos!!
I'm Dutch and hitting your child is illegal here. I found out that the Dutch Amazon site sells the book. I contacted them and asked them to withdraw it, because Amazon has a policy of not selling books that advocate illegal activities. With any luck, it will disappear from their site soon.
I’m from Canada and sadly know some people hit their kids. I don’t believe in spanking.
It teaches the kid nothing in my opinion. I love children and if a child is misbehaving, I talk to them on their level.
Kids (just like adults) want respect like everyone else.
I have autism so I think being direct with a child is so important. I had wish someone did that with me (suck at reading body language/social cues). Wish I knew I had it as a kid.
@@heartroll8719 I agree completely. In my experience, it is pretty easy to explain to children why some of their behaviour is bad. Once they understand, they will not do it again, or at least try not to. And it's pretty obvious that they feel ashamed when you point out they're doing something they know is wrong. You can't expect a child to be perfect.
Also, the problem with hitting is that the child learns nothing. If you teach a child what's wrong and right, it will gradually learn to control it's own behaviour and more importantly, it will gradually learn to make its own moral jusgements. You don't want a child to become an obedient adult, you want it become a responsible citizen.
I also looked at what professionals think about this issue and they want a ban on hitting children. I don't this is an issue for debate, the debate has been settled, some people just don't know about it.
Corporal punishment is illegal here in Canada, as well. As it should be everywhere.
Love this story. But if basic knowledge is A threat to your beliefs, maybe you should reconsider the beliefs.
Wow, didn’t you understand any of what you heard?
Thank you. This is a much more succinct way of saying what I came to say.
I majored in mathematics and accounting. Lot of knowledge there. Didn't threaten my beliefs that right and wrong are inherent in nature and not socially constructed. Nor did it threaten my beliefs that ultimately justice will be served in a world beyond our own where it was unfulfilled here. Of course, knowledge in those fields certainly didn't PROVE those beliefs. It just didn't threaten them.
@@theboombodythen your beliefs have a chance of being acceptable. But in the case of the monsters this video talks about, they should be eradicated. Not out of "discrimination" like they oh so love to say, but out of actual penal charges for multiple types of abuse on minors
Knowledge (specifically scientific knowledge) is only a threat to faith when one doesn’t recognize that they are different domains. It’s a category error and/or a dysfunctional framework that doesn’t permit different categories. One can have faith in a God and be a scientist.
Tips for parents: If you are teaching WHAT to to think instead of HOW, YOU are the problem. Watching kids come across ideas that challenge their presuppositions is some of the best feelings. Another good tip is don't believe anyone who tries to scare you out of an action.
"If you are teaching WHAT to to think instead of HOW, YOU are the problem."
Oh? Who appointed you to be the judge of that?
A good education is BOTH of those things. You MUST believe that 2 plus 2 equals 4. Eventually you may learn WHY it does, and you might learn HOW it does, but to start, you just need to learn some facts.
"Another good tip is don't believe anyone who tries to scare you out of an action."
That would include your own scare tactics and judgment.
@@thomasmaughan4798 belief is irrelevant and always has been. This is my opinion and always has been. I don't need to believe something for it to be true. It either is or isn't. Why even bring up belief since the whole point is to show them that it is an insufficient path to truth? You wanna teach kids WHAT to think and end up with zombie drones that's on you. I want to equip them with reason and methods of determining truth and let them find their own. You say this is bad somehow? Yeah this will probably lead to a bunch of people believing different stuff but it will also lead to generations that are resistant to scare tactics and propaganda. I see no downside. Also probably less religion but that's kind of just a bonus. Less of that is always a plus.
The book of Proverbs teaches that wise people learn from a warning. And stupid people don't learn, even when they get burned by their stupidity. I guess that implies an average person doesn't learn from a warning but DOES learn when he gets burned. So unless you're actually wise, pain might be the only way you're able to learn what NOT to do. Unless you're so stupid that pain doesn't even work. Best to try to make your kid wise so they don't get burned by the world. But that might be out of your control. Kids have minds of their own too, especially when they turn 18. Some end up wise, and some end up stupid, no matter what you do. Joe Biden had at least one awesome kid and one total idiot kid. I doubt he parented them that much differently.
@@theboombodyyes, if you get burnt, you learn to avoid fire. If you run too fast and hut your head, you learn to go slow. If your parents hit you and abuse you for some undefined definition of "training"... Yep, that's right: you learn to fear your parents.
@@thomasmaughan4798 We were actually taught how to do simple addition ourselves back in first grade, were you not? This is about the worst example you could've given.
It's so disappointing that homeschooling has become somewhat synonymous with religious indoctrination. My parents chose to homeschool me through middle school not for ideological reasons but purely to be able to tailor an education to my strengths and weaknesses. In retrospect, I think it was definitely the right choice for me. I was a lot more introverted when I was younger and being forced into a classroom at that age would have made me uncomfortable. I think I ended up with a great education from it, got into college, am doing quite well by all the standard life metrics. Obviously that's not the case for every child, nor for every parent having the luxury to even consider homeschooling. But it's sad that it's gotten to the point that saying you're homeschooled feels like it needs to be prefaced with a statement of your sanity, belief in science, what-have-you. There's homeschooling and there's homeschooling. Some of us are quite normal people.
Many amazing people were homeschooled. Fundamentalist have definitely given it a bad name.
I learned today that Billie Eilish was homeschooled.
Every public or elected servant should be required to send their children to public schools! One of the reasons our public schools are doing poorly is because the “ins” don’t have to worry about their children going there. Every child in the U.S. should initially have access to equally good schools. 🤨 My sister teaches at a religious school and if a child has trouble in their school they recommend the parents send their kids elsewhere! They cannot handle kids with special needs.
That's what we had happen with our second of three kids in Pre-school.
That is why I am a public school teacher. I have to serve ALL KIDS, no choice! I get transfer students who have self esteem severely damaged from their experience in private/charter schools. Imagine getting told "you don't belong here" by the adults that are supposed to take care of you. If someone has the means to send their kid to private school, they have the means to fight their public schools into being better for ALL kids if there is truly an issue with the public school.
In order to "beat the devil out of them,"they'd have to kill the child and they might not be able to cover it up,
I understand the idea behind this, but no school is going to be the best fit for every student. And if an elected school board member joins a school board to make changes, how long do you think that would take? In my county it would take years - because we have over 200,000 students in our direct. No one person can turn that ship around, unfortunately. So if the local public elementary school isn’t a good fit for their particular child, they are being good parents by giving their child the best education for them. If I were to run for the school board in Orange County, FL, it would be to fix all the MAJOR problems that come with a massive bureaucracy that treats education as a business. I feel like the way we operate elementary and middle schools is WRONG. Flat out wrong, and I’m speaking as an educational psychology masters student. Everything I’ve learned in my classes about research and best practice is tossed out in Florida. I can’t put my little kids into that environment. So, I wouldn’t be able to run under your regulation. What you’re asking parents to do is put their students in the exact situations they are desperately trying to get rid of. That doesn’t make sense.
That said, while my littles are homeschooled, my high schoolers attend our zoned public school. I’m not anti-public school. I’m anti-mistreating little kids. We had to mandate RECESS in elementary because kids weren’t getting it. We had to pass a law. It’s bad here. My kids don’t deserve that. You know?
And I only mention cases like mine because - don’t we want to be electing school board members who want to IMPROVE things for all students? But if I think there are major problems, how does it make sense to put my kids in that majorly problematic situation?
Hitting Children is absolutely forbidden in Germany.
What kind of person can read those passages on discipline and think this is OK? It’s clearly child abuse.
People who are afraid to think anything that they are not told to think: conservatives.
My partner and I have a similar story to this couple. We have five kids. We were in a conservative Christian group, but thankfully we didn’t adhere to those “principals” in Train Up A Child. We did home school our oldest until he was in 6th grade. Thankfully I had a little sense that I couldn’t offer him what he needed. They are all in public school now, they are thriving, and we are happier in the secular community- and I’m even teaching in the public high school. Good for this couple. It’s not an easy transition, but it’s worth it.
That's wonderful!
The biggest problem I have with the secular community is the awful stuff on TV. I miss TV shows like the Beverly Hillbillies where attractive girls didn't let their chests and behinds go mostly uncovered and "actors" didn't drop the F-bomb every eight seconds. Back then you could watch any show and not have to worry about what your kids would see on there.
@@theboombody There was a grain of truth to that when Jersey Shore and Keeping Up With The Dashes were in their prime, but that wasn't because people were doing away with atheophobia, religious favoritism, and Evangelical exceptionalism. I think it might've been economic changes in the cable and network TV industries that made most genres outside of "reality TV" (which is a really ironic name because it doesn't mean "nonfiction") cost-prohibitive.
@@theboombodyback when Hollywood was almost entirely white you mean?
I live in a nation in which elective homeschooling isn't a thing. There are a few exceptions like illness of the child, but the rule is: parents *must* send their children to school. They may choose to send them to a school with a religious background, but no homeschooling. I think it's a great rule.
Those religious schools are less than perfect, but at least they must follow the national curriculum if they want state funding.
France?
@@jugatsumikkait could be Australia, it sounds like it's from down here
@@jugatsumikka No, looking at the name, The Netherlands.
@@jugatsumikka Netherlands
In the Netherlands elective homeschooling isn't a thing, but you do have the right not to send your child to school if all the schools in your area teach things that seriously conflict with your own religious or philosophical beliefs. And you have to be able to prove it. Families with atheist and/or humanist beliefs make up about a third of those who exercise that right in the Netherlands. A third are Christian conservatives and the rest are made up of other religious and philosophical minorities.
I’m sure a lot of parents do a good job homeschooling their kids but I outed the mother of one of my daughters friends. She had her three kids cleaning house all day and those kids weren’t being taught anything. The girl had told my daughter they weren’t doing any kind of schoolwork. I reported her and she was forced to get them back into school. I was throughly disgusted by any parent who would use their kids and deny them an education.
This is why there has to be some oversight over homeschooling. I read about another homeschooled 12 year old who couldn’t read and did math at a 2nd grade level
@jenniferbrower would you suggest the same for all children? What remedy would there be if a public school child wasn't up to standards?
@@lquinn410 public schools are already standardized, but admittedly they could do better. But if communities just invest the most resources in schools that are already ahead of the curve and not in those that are struggling then you can’t expect much improvement.
@@lquinn410 Some public schools aren't good because parents in those communities don't get involved enough in the school system.
My husband is Episcopalian so, to support him, I go to church with him. (The congregation knows I'm an atheist, but figure they can't do much to convince me to be Christian if I attend and am still not convinced.) During the first communion classes, one of the dads (a former principal and current multi-school administrator) decided to ask all the kids what schools the all attended. One girl, probably 8y/o (one of the oldest in the class) said she was home schooled. Later, he asked each kid to read something (it was taking a bit for the lady who was doing the class to get the lesson set up) and the same little girl said "I can't read."
My husband said he could read every thought that was going through my mind. Everyone of the kids that attended a public, private, or charter school (to be completely honest, half of all the kids at our church attend the same chain of charters, and no there is zero religious affiliation with the charter school) could read. All of them at grade level, most well above. (I chalk that up to affluent and engaged parents. Lots of money in the Episcopal Church.) But this one little girl, who mimicked her mother's 'holier than thou' attitude couldn't read.
I already held a dim view on homeschooling from the sheer lack of social skills I have seen most of those kids have. This just solidified my opinion.
Good for them! I wasn't home schooled. But I did go to a Evangelical Christian school in the 80's. We sat in little "offices". It was a regular table that three-foot spaces and "dividers" that were placed in between students. We learned from "Paces" little booklets that were made by the "Accelerated Christian Education" curriculum. The booklets are designed to "go at your own "pace". They weren't designed for people with learning disabilities in mind. The "supervisors" (teachers) didn't really teach, they were just there kinda help, as the paces were supposed to teach kids everything.
I had a undiagnosed math-specific learning disability. While I was doing good in every other subject, I fell way behind in Math. I was called lazy and a "disappoint" because I wasn't "trying hard enough". I was given no credit for being above my grade level in other subjects. They zeroed in on my math problems instead. The teachers there simply weren't trained to spot a learning disability. I never did receive the help I needed, I couldn't finish college math courses and stopped going to college because I simply couldn't relive the trauma I went through as a kid. Christians schools and home-schooling are terrible for children and should be heavily regulated. Children need to be screened by professionals for learning disabilities so they are not labeled "lazy" and "stupid" and are given an actual chance in life.
You are correct. Fortunately, we public school parents of atypical kids are the toughest advocates for our and other atypical kids.
My sister and I went to a similar school with the pace curriculum. She never learned to read or count money so she never could get a job. She died of a drug overdose in her twenties. Great job "christian" schools and churches.
I did my state testing at a christian school like that. It was in Pennsylvania
Many families choose 'home schooling' as a means to cover up the child abuse in the home. There is very little to none oversight of these programs. It's a very sad situation when the children aren't able to have another adult outside the home see all the physical and emotional damage.
My bestie has the same math disability, she was fortunately diagnosed while in school.
Not all public schools are created equal. Same can be said for homeschools.
Too many people call themselves "home schooling" their children because they want to hide the abuse they put their kids through.
Good for those parents for getting out of the cult! I’m proud of them for seeing the light.
Thank you for continually working to make the world a better place. You do it well.
Being told to start beating my kids at 6 months old for the slightest infraction and seeing the damage done was what began my deconstruction and eventual leaving of Christianity entirely. I used to believe and follow the Pearls, homeschooled, believed creationism, was anti birth control, and basically attended a fundamentalist cult. We now have 8 kids and would have had more if it wasn't for me beginning to question everything I was taught. Questioning abusing your kids led to me questioning my theology and listening to what other denominations had to say, deciding to put my kids in public school because I was unable to sufficiently teach them all by myself with so many little kids undertow, then ditching the idea of hell, then questioning Christianity altogether. I am now an atheist and wish I would have been a long time ago. It would have saved me so many bad decisions and trauma for my family. My kids are all doing fairly well despite it all and are still in public school. My husband is still staunchly Christian.
My Mom homeschooled me in the 90’s. I was home but I wasn’t schooled. My mom was a good person but she wasn’t a teacher. She was also preoccupied with defeating the “oNe WoRLd OrDeR” and left her with little energy left for other things.
I was painfully aware that I didn’t have the knowledge base and interpersonal experience of my contemporaries. I did read a lot and really enjoyed PBS programming like, Nova, Frontline, etc. I think that saved me. At 21, in the absence of any school records or GED, I took an assessment exam for local community college and enrolled. 60 credits later I transferred to a large state University and got a bachelor’s degree. I was at a disadvantage from the late start.
I benefited from public school system after all. First from PBS and then through state colleges and universities. The evil federal and local State turned out to be a lie. Government was good, actually.
The harm cynical right-wing politicians like Reagan have inflicted, upon the country and people they supposedly love, with conspiratorial religious rhetoric that seeks to undermine and dismantle government, is no joke. It’s effects helps only the elites.
Horrifying. My son is developmentally delayed. He was not potty trained until age 11. Can you imagine torturing that sweet baby all those years? 😢
Ex-Christian here who's studying Early Child Development. This is the first time I'm reading a line from that child training book. I almost cried. It made me so fucking livid that they would start such physical abuse as young as infancy. All this fearmongering has been poisoning our country for far too long. Fear reinforces dogma and stunts human growth.
I was raised in the “spare the rod” tradition to break my (sinful) will. It took many years to build it back up in order to face life. Unquestioning obedience is very useful the tyrants.
OMG! Watching from the UK, absolutely shocked at what little regulation there apparently is in the US on homeschooling
Also, corporal punishment has long been considered a crime in most Western countries
Here in Germany, in the vast majority of cases, the regulations are very simple: "no". Go to public or private school. No home schooling. Period. And turns out, those rules are not enough to get asylum in the US. Shocking!
If parents couldn't homeschool then where would all the cults find their free labor?
Physical punishment of a child is a crime.
I think it should be illegal in the US. No way will it ever happen, sadly (or at least in the foreseeable future). I doubt we'll become a civilized country for a long time (infrastructure, a ban on corporal punishment, a living wage, rehabilitation for criminals, healthcare for all, etc.). :(
In Australia you can homeschool but you have to follow the curriculum taught in schools. They do standardised testing like everyone else. It seems sensible. Oversight is not debatable. It's a must.
The title of the book "To Train up a Child" already raises red flags by itself.
Yes it sure does.
It literally talks about training children like cart horses. Most parents don't want their children to be mindlessly obedient cart horses forever.
I find it wonderful that the first domino that tumbled this whole house of cards was their love for their children.
Yeah when I was growing up corporal punishment was just a thing that you expected parents and adults to do.
I have this thing that I kept from my days as a Christian. I believe that anyone who tells you, "I'm a Christian" without being prompted should not be trusted. Anyone who behaves in the way a Christian should behave has no reason to tell you they are Christian. They will show you by their behavior.
"I'm a Christian" and "You can trust me" are almost exactly the same thing. A trustworthy person will show you they are trustworthy.
As I became an atheist my moral principles didn't really change much. I still believe, quite strongly, in being honest and fair, even it being honest and fair means not getting something I want.
Very rarely when I do something honest I'll hear someone say something like, "No there is a good Christian."
I love when this happens, because it means I get to turn to them and say, "Actually, I'm an atheist."
Perhaps if they encounter an atheist who they thought was a Christian based on something he did, they might realize what they have been told about atheists is not true.
Christianity has a very convenient "get out of jail free" card. They believe that sins can be forgiven so long as they repent. So you don't need to be an atheist to enjoy sinning. And the amount of misconduct (especially sexual misconduct) in the church tells me that evangelicals take full advantage of this.
What this proves is that the Church Of Apologetica, which presumes that science, logic, and evidence points to the existence of their chosen deity, and usually a politically-aligned characterization thereof, has far too much social power and abused it to drag atheists, the movement's own designated public enemy, through the mud. It's a prime reason why I make a distinction between Christianity and Apologetica.
I used to have rental properties, after having nothing but problems renting to people who professed to be 'Christians' (IE. over $25k in damages to one place & the entire crawlspace packed with rotting garbage bags in spite of my covering trash pickup at another) I started ground filing the rental application of everyone who told me they were a Christian w/o my asking - which is something I never asked because, obviously it wasn't on the application.
I'm glad you made your caveat about not being anti-homeschooling so long as parents are actually teaching their kids.
Homeschooling is a valid and best option for some children.
I would not send my kids to school in the US for anything. Not because I'm religious. I'm an athiest who homeschools because I wanted my kids to learn real science, to learn how to read correctly, to learn math correctly, to learn non-whitewashed history, and to not be under the risk of being shot at school.
All valid reasons.
Even without threats of shooting a lot of schools are zoos. I taught at a high school for two months before I realized that there were political reasons you couldn't send bad kids to the principal when they were being EXTREMELY disruptive. It was something I just couldn't put up with and I considered it a waste of my time and my life to try to steer a boat in a tide like that. I have the deepest respect for any teacher that can have any impact whatsoever on a kid's life in that kind of environment. I sure couldn't. Of course, when I was in school there was the threat of the paddle. Say what you will, but that certainly did a MUCH better job of keeping classroom kids in line than what we have today. FEW teachers have enough skill to keep an environment in order when there are little to NO consequences for disruptive behavior. I don't know how anyone can expect that of a teacher.
I have a family member who home schools their children. Not religious though. Those kids can't read or write, and have no understanding of the world. The parents have condemned those kids to a life of manual labour, no matter what the kids would have dreamed of doing.
Ex-Full-Gospel Christian Pastor here.
The absolute best day of my life was when I decided to fully let go of God.
I never really knew what true independence, liberty, courage and love were.
Same here. Ex muslim, very well learned in the religion. I let go of Allah and my panic attacks stopped.
We should have some award for those who have left religion. Let's start this movement like a Nobel Prize.
I love it! Questioning religion and leaving really should be seen as a celebration! It took me a few years to deconstruct from the Mormon church, and I’m so glad I did.
u know that welcome clap when you get accepted in certain religions? yeah, we should have that too 👏👏👏
"We should have some award for those who have left religion"
There is no WE. Escape the shackles of WE.
"Let's start this movement like a Nobel Prize."
There is no US. If you wish to start a movement, do so! But wait, a MOVEMENT is *just another religion" !
I homeschooled my kids 20 years ago, for liberal reasons. Our school taught See-Say reading & I insisted on phonics, our school shied away from evolution ( Do you know how scarce kid-focused evolution materials are! Homeschooling is drowning in creationist materials!) I also taught critical thinking & rhetoric. My two college grads excelled. The other homeschoolers - omg. It was all obedience & apologetics. And some really unintelligent parents. I still wonder how some of those kids turned out. But hey, some people are really proud of teen pregnancies.
"Our school taught See-Say reading & I insisted on phonics,"
I was a beneficiary of phonics in first and second grade; I could and was reading Rudyard Kipling by second grade. Then we moved to a larger town and that is where I first saw "see spot run" and it isn't about ink stains on clothing. It was terrible. I maintained superiority in reading forever after. My daughter also learned it in charter school; she was reading "Mary, Queen of Scots" at the age of 11. She is inept in nearly every other way but she can read! It isn't lack of intelligence; she is just stubborn and does not like being told what to do which includes pretty much anything school related
Ex fundie diaries has a video where she went through her I think it was science folder from the time when she was homeschooled at a group that had a hired "teacher". Many people who watched the video were surprised at the ratio of religion vs. science. It was about 99% religion and 1% science. And she said she has been now educating herself as an adult, loves to watch documentaries and stuff, but her homeschooling really didn't teach her much.
My son (2 and a half) is a bit behind in terms of mental development, but we potty trained him in *two days* just by putting him on the potty when he peed and clapping like crazy for him. It was a lovely experience, he enjoyed it immensely, and I'm so proud of him. We were expecting it to take a lot longer but the method and the result would have been the same regardless. I can't imagine how gross you would need to be as a person, to torture your child while they go through a challenging transition. Well done to these parents for refusing to go along with that.
My partner and their 5 sisters were homeschooled. None of them graduated with any real social skills, all of them were undereducated and underprepared for real life. All but one of them have spoken loud and long about how much they hate they were home schooled. Three of the kids couldn't read until age 10, and their Mom was a teacher before beginning homeschooling.....
No homeschooling without oversight. Children are worth that.
I was homeschooled, it was isolating abusive and it took me 15 years of my adulthood to catch up to my public schooled peers.
I personally think people who homeschool have serious control issues.
How is this child abuse not illegal in the USA like it is here in Australia?
Too many people in the US are in favor of it. It's hard to outlaw something that 30-40% of the country views as a good thing, especially when only 60-70% of the country bothers to vote and most of the country is gerrymandered in favor of the first group.
Scaremongering about "the liberals/the government will try to take your children away for you executing your God-given responsibility to discipline them" was a common sermon topic and talking point when I was growing up.
Child abuse is relied heavily on the state and in more conservative states that mix Christianity into their laws have given a lot of exemptions for religious beliefs to be above the law so even if it’s considered child abuse in that said state, the organization can get away with it in their small conservative Christian communities because (and I’m being tongue and cheek here) their lack of real education in English has them not understanding what separation between church and state means due to being schooled in these so called communities. Too many religious groups get to be above the law and there is no one policing these groups especially when so many of them claim to be Christian yet they twist and distort the whole foundation of what a Christian is to something that spews hate, close mindedness, fear, pain, anger and death. Heck type in Christianity into TH-cam and see how many videos of “Christian” people being vile, ignorant hateful people. This is what Christianity has turned into. The exact opposite of what Christianity is and with every new translation of the original Bible, the words in it change more and more away from its originality.
Who would have guessed that professionals trained and certified in teaching would be better at it than random religious parents
Everyone with a brain and courage or experience.
"Who would have guessed that professionals trained and certified in teaching would be better at it than random religious parents"
Better at WHAT exactly? Of course they are better at *something* . Not sure what. My children suffered a public education, the result of which my high school graduate daughter cannot calculate 10 percent off an article of clothing. Not even with a calculator. Fortunately there's Siri and Google: "Hey Google, what is ten percent off fourteen dollars?"
@@thomasmaughan4798 At _teaching_ like I said. And if your kids couldn't keep up in school, it was up to you to help them with their homework or at least make them go to tutoring since you don't seem to be too sharp yourself.
@@PraiseTheFSMonster "At teaching like I said."
I wonder what you think that *is* .
" it was up to you to help them with their homework"
Unfortunately, I was not myself taught in the ancient and not very useful Egyptian Methods. My children, conversely, have not been taught proper multiplication or long division. I have no interest or knowledge of anything "woke" or politically correct.
"at least make them go to tutoring"
I do not MAKE them do anything. I wasn't even successful to preven them from cutting classes.
"you don't seem to be too sharp yourself."
Your powers of observation seem inadequate for the task.
@@thomasmaughan4798 Not smart _and_ a bad parent. Got it.
The most important thing that public schools teach is how to get along with people different than you
As an anarchist I can see how schools are indoctrination centres.
Not religious indoctrination, but society and wage slave indoctrination. I mean, if kids are going to be good little automations they need the conditioning, so I get it.
I personally like Finland's schooling model. It's more about learning practical life skills, exploring creativity, and harbouring a desire to learn for life.
"So, to properly raise a child you have to beat them until only obedience remains in their eyes." "Yes, we are the good guys. Why do you ask?"
I had to homeschool because my local high school thought I was coddling my daughter and would not cooperate in providing work when she missed school.
I didn’t know WHAT was wrong with my daughter, just that I believed she was genuinely having problems. Also, doctors are quick to look in all the wrong places when the patient is an adolescent female.
I found high-school level correspondence courses from an accredited university. I hired a tutor to keep her on track. She completed her GED and went on to get a BSN.
Fast forward a decade or two: daughter not only had celiac disease, but also two distinct different heart problems (one of which could cause her to drop dead!).
But I was “coddling” her. She is now a highly skilled registered nurse with a background in cardiac, trauma, and emergency medicine. She was on the frontlines of the pandemic.
My public school system failed my daughter by assuming that she was malingering.
I'm gonna level with you here. I grew up in the People of Praise, you know Amy Coney Barrett's group. I went to the high school run by the PoP. I went to a Catholic college straight out of HS, met my Catholic husband, got married a week after graduation and then proceeded to get pregnant 8 times in the next 8 years (carried 5 to term). I don't really have time or space to share the whole journey from raised to believe that if I sent my kids to a public school they and I were all going to Hell to proudly sending my kids to a public school, but let me tell you it was the most emotionally nerve-wracking thing I have ever done and I ultimately had to leave my faith because of it. I still get cousins and aunts and random Community women coming up to me and asking me how I can justify sending my children to Public school every day. My parents keep offering to pay for my kids to go to a Catholic grade school because they are convinced that my kids are going to end up dead, or on drugs, or pregnant, or atheists, which is of course the worst out of all the above. My response? "I send my kids to public school so that the can ACTUALLY learn to love their neighbors." It usually shuts them up.
I was also beat by my parents because Dr. Dobson told them too. Which I cannot understand how my mom, a freaking Pediatrician, could justify to herself. She never liked it, but she also couldn't bring herself to tell my father not to because as her husband he was supposed to be the head of the house. To this day they both refuse to acknowledge the pain it caused me and my siblings.
I wasn't home scooled, but this is the way I was raised. Instead of the garden hose, I just got the belt for toilet training. If I tried to rationalize to my mother I was smacked across the face for "talking back" In my adulthood I suffer from a severe lack of self confidence, and low self esteem. Though I have done ok, as I graduated from college, and paid off my house. I've never been able to have normal caring relationships, and have been alone most of my life. I'm 54. I can't help but wonder how different and successful I might have been if I had got positive support, instead of corporal punishment.
thats so sad... im so sorry that happened to you. i hope you can find someone you can relate too and normal caring relationships
One problem is, these parents view their kids rather as their property than as their responsibilty
Apart from attending school, I grew up when it was normal to have one TV in the house with only 4 channels and a radio. So I watched whatever was available. Talking to younger people with so much media available now, I am often amazed at their lack of the general knowledge. The things that I just absorbed from the TV without knowing it. The general way that mass media has dumbed down over the years is really bad. I can only imagine how much worse it is for people brought up in a fundamentalist household.
Watching the Prime Video documentary series “Shiny Happy People” was an eye-opener about what’s going on with these evangelical Christians. I went to an evangelical college right about the time that the Republican/Evangelical ‘marriage’ was being consummated (1981 to 1983). I was really uncomfortable with the changes I saw then. I returned briefly in the late 90s, but realized I just couldn’t buy this stuff anymore. I walked away from that to mainline, and then left altogether more recently. I am shocked at how bad it has gotten for the evangelicals, though. If you’re thinking of leaving, you’ll survive and be better off for it. We support you!
6 minutes in "... there are probably Christians listening to this video right now who are still on the fence about atheism." Guilty as charged, lol. Even when I was a very devout teen, there were passages in the Bilble that I couldn't reconcile with a loving, all knowing God.
To Raise Up a Child sounds remarkably like Brave New World.
My heart is broken for the children who grow up in homes like this. Oh my goodness 😢
I have a neighbor who has family members who are Jehovah's Witnesses. I play cards games with him and his family. One of the families has his grandson, and I have been somewhat subtly sabotaging some of the religious indoctrination by lending the grandson books that encourage critical thinking and STEM skills. To be honest his parents want the best for him, and have no issue with the books as they see them as ways to get him to engage with educational material. A few of the books I have lent are:
"What if?" and "What If? 2" by Randall Munroe (these are among his favorite books) and "The Elegant Universe" by Brian Greene. The kid is graduating highschool in a year or two and I like to think that thanks to my influence he wants to get a job in something dealing with Quantum Mechanics.
Beautiful!
Poor kid, the JWs actively discourage going to college! They’ll punish him and the parents with extremely emotionally abusive shunning if they do send him to college
When I was a kid to my mid-twenties, I was abused physically by my family and relatives by spanking and having hot sauce in my mouth!
I think it’s extremely brave and laudable that they challenged the way they were raised.
Placing a desirable object within reach and then physically abusing a child for reaching for it? No one would even try training a dog that way! Who are these sadists?
Monsters.
"The use of the rod is for the purpose of breaking a child's will." If I had heard that out of context I would've assumed it was an argument AGAINST the rod. I'm not even sure if they mean that the kid is supposed to be able to look the parent in the eye after that or if they're supposed to fear them so much that they look away. Either way it's horrible.
EDIT: I realised that the way I phrased it may not have been clear that I am against all kinds of child abuse. I thought it was clear but at least one recently seemed to try to start a debate as if I had defended it so I tried to make it even more clear.
They're supposed to look away/down. If they can still meet the parent's/punisher's eyes, they're not "broken enough" or, worse, are "being defiant", and need more whipping.
My parents weren't quite this bad, just hitting for punishment rather than trying to break wills, but they also complain that my brother and SIL "don't hit their kids enough".
@@Axioanarchist Wow. That is horrific. Parents actively trying to inflict so much pain and fear in their children. I will never understand how a human being can intentionally hurt someone they love like that. Thanks for your clarification.
@UrskogTrolle These kinds of people do not see children as independent entities with their own wants, needs, thoughts, and so forth.
Children are, to the fundamentalist, one part an extension of the parent's (singular intended, it's 99.999% of the time solely the father) will , and one part physical possession like anything else they own.
They do not consider children "people" until they reach adulthood, and some don't even consider them their own person until all familial authority figures (usually father, grandfather, etc) are dead.
Possessions don't get to have their own opinions. Extensions of parental desire don't get to make decisions the parent/s disagree with.
Thus, they use force to invoke the hierarchy of authority and instill a desired behavior in the child. This has the side effect - a feature, not a bug - of teaching the child that all authority figures are to be obeyed without question or defiance, on pain of assault and suffering that is justified solely by the abuser being in a position of authority and that it is considered morally wrong to resist or evade.
I saw phisical abuse being used as a "punishment". The kid didn't even know why it was hit. The pair got themselves 2 (one accidental) children to early and the father was just unable to deal with the stress. BTW they're going to have a third one. How do you explain those people that hitting your child doesn't work if they can't see it themselves? It's not like the toddler stopped misbehaving
Ffs
@@angelikaskoroszyn8495 I'm not sure if you're trying to start a debate or what but if you are you should probably try reading my comment again. Then you'll hopefully see I'm not defending abuse in anyway. I'm CRITICISING a specific quote that is defending it. Anyway I edited my comment so hopefully it will be as clear as I first thought it was. If it still looks otherwise, let me know how I can make it even clearer that I don't believe that hitting a child is ever justifiable.
I was an introvert, a bookworm who made great grades, and asexual without knowing I was asexual re: why I never had any desire to have sex or do anything "feminine" like wear make-up. Catholic school and later public school were both Hell for me.
I am sorry and hope you have found the help you sought.
@@kayallen7603 I'm fine as far as leaving Christianity goes. Don't think I'll ever recover from the scars of being ridiculed and bullied in school lol (speaking truthfully but sarcastically, not suffering from anything clinical), but again, no difference between Catholic (K-4) and secular (5-9) bullying. Hmmm, interesting, I just realized I don't really remember it being an issue when I transferred to the final school district I attended in 10th grade... except for that weirdo who took a picture of me and my date kissing at junior prom and said he slept with it under his pillow...
I love this video, is describes my sister to some extent; I love the way she uses a sliding scale which is a much better way to see the world, it's not either or; we are all unique and the same and special
th-cam.com/video/T71ChFOhmqQ/w-d-xo.html
They may as well call it home-sheltering instead. A parents job is to prepare their children for the adult world. Do they think a thorough grounding in fairy tales will accomplish this?
There were a LOT of sheltered kids in the home school community.
Getting a proper amount of socialization for a home school kid is difficult, and I don't think it can be done if your interested in only having kids associate with a small subset of like minded people.
We used a secular homeschool group. Her online non religious school had after school online clubs. We were involved in sports through the local community center, and she was involved in Jr. showmanship through the AKC. Camps for a couple of weeks in summer. Neighbor kids were generally always available to play because our public school used year round school, so there was always someone who was off. We traveled a bit too.
For us, this was the right choice. Our daughter has celiac and was significantly smaller than her peers. I'm talking 2T clothing at 5. Despite years of endless specialist visits EDS went diagnosed and it was ruining her self esteem and causing her to fall behind because she couldn't write with a pencil.
There will always be people who homeschool for whatever reason. Using an accredited program with oversight needs to become the homeschool standard.
I spent my whole childhood in the public school system yet I managed to graduate with no marketable skills. Honestly, once a child hits the 8th grade, most of the things they learn in highschool are filler and do not contribute to preparing for a job. I will also say it was my parent's fault for keeping me for 18 years and leaving my education and training in the hands of the state with no intervention on their part.
@@shelbysycamore637 - I don't think that either parents or the school system should have the sole reasonability for a child's education. Kids need a wide variety of input. Parents need to build on what kids are learning in the classroom.
As far as highschool, I think you may have learned more than you realize. My BIL is a plumber. He uses higher level math on a daily basis. I learned how to do my taxes in HS. Husband learned enough Spanish to allow him to have a very basic conversation. Daughter came out with certifications in the Microsoft Office suite.
These days, a regular HS education doesn't give you the skills to get a good paying job out of the gate. Secondary education of some sort is necessary. We need more technical high schools, trade schools and a larger community college system than we do currently. A 4 year college education isn't the right choice for every kid, so there needs to be other options.
“Questioning God is the sign of trauma.” Trauma from what? Being whipped as a child might do it. Lol.
This is such an important issue! And I'm so glad some members of my generation are choosing not to homeschool. My mother used homeschooling to beat me everyday. She would starve me, and tell me I should be dead. She was an abuser in the name of religion.
Homeschooling needs more regulation! Because it can be a beautiful thing, and a great option for kids to have more flexibility. All the hundreds of homeschoolers I knew growing up took classes together to fill in gaps their parents couldn't teach. The classes were parent lead by people with degrees for teaching 9/10 times. Many kids who had been taken from school to be homeschooled were bullied to the point of fear for their life. Homeschooling should be a good alternative in those situations. I have many learning disabilities and genetic disorders, but homeschooling let me go slow without hurting my self esteem.
If you used the means described for "training up a child" to train a dog, you would be arrested. It's child abuse, plain and simple.
Every homeschooler I have met has been a little bit off.
Happy to be grown up in a country where home schooling is forbidden. What a mess!
We didn't have a Christian influence on homeschooling our kids. I believe it was a good decision. Sure, they had to get a GED, they passed with no problem. As far as activities, they played soccer, baseball, etc.. We made sure they interacted with other kids. My son went into the army and retired after 20 yrs., my daughter is a civil servant. We are proud of both. Homeschooling is no different than public school, parents have to get involved, period.
The section on child "discipline" gave me some PTSD. I was bought up by JW parents who didn't "spare the rod" and, yeah, I learned not to question authority...and how to lie effectively!
I went to Catholic schools in Australia and, especially in Secondary school, it wasn’t much different to any school but private schools are regulated here and must pass proficiency testing. We were taught evolution. We had comprehensive sex education. We did Shakespeare and books with challenging themes. Regulation is important in making sure all kids get a chance to learn how the world REALLY works.
I homeschooled/unschooled my offspring because we’re an Autistic, neurodivergent and HEPG family- school was an absolute torture zone for me growing up and proved to be exactly the same for all my offspring. School is NOT great if you’re intelligent, neurodivergent or Autistic (and I’ve come to have the view that sending Autistic/ND/HEPG young individuals to mainstream school is abuse because it simply does not benefit the young individual in ANY significant way to be constantly gaslit, undereducated, unserved and mistreated).
My youngest taught himself to read before 3 by pausing Japanese anime so that he could figure out the subtitles and know what was being said; I too taught myself to read well before 3 and spent most of my ‘education’ hiding out in the library so that I wouldn’t be constantly hassled by my ‘peers’.
Mainstream public schooling is NOT the be all and end all by any means, especially if you’re #actuallygifted and/or #actuallyautistic- woe betide if you also happen to be non gender conforming, which a large majority of Autistics are, because getting tortured during your younger years for being different is SO much fun. Not.
This is not the main point of this video, but every parent should also know that there is no specific age by which a child "should" be potty-trained. Forcing it before they are ready will only lead to stress and aggravation for you and the child.
Public schools suffer from extreme local variation in quality due in part to how they're funded and managed. My own public school experience was probably pretty average. I was socially isolated enough to avoid having much awareness of the drugs and gangs happening around me until I was older and my old classmates opened up about it with me. Still I couldn't imagine how stifled I would have been if I didn't have any school groups or experienced teachers.
I recently challenged a Blue check on Twitter who was claiming that 20% of children who attend public school are being molested. 😂😂😂
Trust me, you don’t have to be religious to want to beat your kids with stuff. I come from an Asian family that was not religious at all. We are actually shaman to start with. and beating kids basically was what our parents did to us for discipline.
I'm a former public school teacher and I believe deeply that education should be provided, free at the point of delivery, by the government, but I'll tell you right now that it does indeed take courage to leave a predictable bubble in which the kids are well behaved in the classroom and enroll in public school.
I come from a Catholic family and my mother wasn't able to get me into either of the two local Catholic grammar schools because they had filled their quota, so I went to public school, as did my younger siblings (I was the oldest so where I went, they went). I have to say the teachers exposed us to a wide range of items and topics that I would have never heard of otherwise. When I got to high school and the Catholic school kids joined the rest of us in public high school, I remember one of them saying when they would ask a teaching nun questions that she didn't know the answer to she would say it was God's will.
I am a 50 years old Catholic who goes to the mass every Sunday. I was born and raised in South America and lived in Canada for many years. Thank goodness I am not one of our separated brethren. It is insane how they seem to remain stuck in the Old Testament. And Americans seem to be very vulnerable to conspiracy theories. What is going on?
I love this video. It demonstrates the Generational Learned Ignorance that’s passed down in these religious communities. Growing up in one myself, I feel like this concept isn’t really understood by people who didn’t have this experience growing up. Most people who are Christian conservative were never given a chance the way most kids were. It’s the only worldview they’ve ever known.
Whenever I engage in a discussion with them I always try to keep a level of empathy and understanding, even if they say things that are downright horrible and/or woefully incorrect. It’s incredibly hard sometimes, but I feel like it’s worth it.
While they are definitely still perpetrators of societal oppressions, they are simultaneously victims of circumstance.
There's nothing wrong with homeschooling in theory. But then, there's nothing wrong with a lot of things, in theory....
I'm startled that a 6-year-old would learn to read faster in school. All of my kid learned to read primarily at home. I learned to read from comic books.
My late wife was an ardent (non-religious) advocate of homeschooling and of private schools. She taught her kids and ran several schools over her lifetime.
My grandmother homeschooled her children during the Depression when the family lived too far from the school for the kids to get there. Grandma did a good job, though: when they moved again and were able to go to a public school, they all tested in a grade *_above_* where tfhey would have otherwise.
My old folks used to hit me (at least it was only with their hands) whenever I cried with the added comment of "I'll give you a real reason to cry".
That led to me avoiding expressing emotions in general.
We need laws that can protect children from their parents. Not every parent has the best intentions towards their child and some who do are not able to give their child what he or she needs.
I was very late in my potty training, but it was because I spent the 2nd 18 months (from the age of 18 months to 3 years) of my life in a body cast.
I was potty trained by specially trained teachers because potty training a child that late in the normal way doesn't work. Beating your child because they made a mistake (or shaming them) does tremendous damage.
Negative conditioning (punishment) doesn’t even work with dog training let alone human children!!
I went to great public schools. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like if I was home schooled.
Ending the US public school system is a top priority for conservative America and it's one of the most distressing trends today.
I spanked my kids on a couple of occasions. Afterwards, I felt like crap and sat down with them and tried to explain that I was wrong, and that the reason I had spanked them, was due to my upbringing. So I made an agreement with them that if they did anything wrong, or anything that their mother and I didn't like them getting into. That we would sit down and talk with them. And I am a witness to the fact that talking to your children, and explaining why they were getting in trouble, really worked better than anything, especially when you wanted to gain their trust, and them gaining your trust. Spanking just puts fear into their minds, and makes them uncomfortable when in public around a parent that spanks. Plus it's just uncool!
I liked spankings as a child
My parents went through a similar process of unlearning corporal punishment when my sibling and I were little. I think I was only spanked a couple of times, but I do remember some of the fear that it caused. My older sibling was in therapy for a while when we were very young, and the therapist basically told my parents that there's good evidence that spanking doesn't work, especially for kids with my sibling's behavioral challenges. My parents' humility in apologizing to us for spanking, and their capacity for growth and change, are things that I deeply appreciate and admire about them. They weren't perfect parents, but their willingness to learn and do better is what kept us together as a family during my very difficult teen years, and what makes me want to be a parent someday, too. I applaud you for also modeling growth, change, and nonviolence to your children. It matters.
That whole "you're just denying God because you want to live a life of sin!" makes no sense .. what difference would that ultimately make if God were real? That's like saying "I want to live a life of crime, so I'm going to deny the existence of the Police!" .. it doesn't matter if you BELIEVE in the authority, you'll still get punished.
My own Conservative upbringing was very passive. I was told not to steal or lie and that was about it. What I saw were inconsistencies, except for the love even if it came from two poor farm kids doing their best with little education. It was not important of their generation in the 50's but the bar for education was going up during my childhood. My sister did take her children out of their small town school for one year. She did a great job, the kids learned a lot. When the went back to school the next year they were exelent students.
Meanwhile I was in the Army and traveling the world. My loving parents had not prepared me for the wider world, how could they. I must also add my teachers in Central Illinois were putting in the minimal amount of effort. At one point as a senior NCO I fell into a deep depression. As children we had ideal childhoods, but as we approach the winter of our lives we all suffer from depression resulting ultimately in death and/or dysfunctional behavior. Even the most loving parents can't do it alone.
It was something I heard on "The Waltons"; "We did not grow up, we were raised." It was said with pride, but I know better.
Fortunately the US Army is an excellent place to learn, a mature organization in which to grow up. Perhaps any descent profession can to this. Often accused of indoctrination it's actually a place of social progress, learning responsibility,
and having real support. You can't just bark orders, we have to set the example for one another.
I grew up in church and I thank God everyday my parents encouraged me to get an education. I'm glad that I went to public school. My mother went to church, my father didn't. The church I grew up in believed in education and faith. These churches these days don't teach love and acceptance they teach hate and keep passing around the collection plate.
Honestly, good on those parents for questioning and reworking their entire belief system for the good of their children! I'm really impressed, it can take a whole lot to work through all that and it's a really big effort that many others wouldn't want to take on.
I've found theses comments fascinating.
I'm autistic and was more less unschooled my whole life and it worked fantastic for me.
But, I also wasn't kept from any information, was allowed to socialize (encouraged evan), and it just worked for me.
Also did correspondence for high school, because my mom believed it was important to have a diploma.
Maybe most kids aren't given any opportunity to follow their own interests and learn what they need to learn.
I've always been interested in math and science, learned English and grammar because I wanted to communicate better. Even bought a technical writing book as a teen.
I guess, I'm just offering another view.
I was raised a JW, now a queer atheist on the left.
Maybe my mom would be disappointed, maybe not? I would like to think she would be happy thst I'm genuine.
I own my A/V contracting company. Thst might morph into manufacturing... Always a hacker.
Neurodiverse kids aren't always served well in public schools. I am Audhd. I taught in a program for autistic kids. The consulting staff was openly hostile to me, saying I was too autistic to work with autistic kids. Come again??
I was physically disciplined when I was a child and 30 years later I'm still struggling to look people in the eyes. Don't hit your kids.
I've said it for years, if you want to home school because your worried about how they are being taught fine, but it's when your worried abotu WHAT they are being taught it's an issue.