So true! The way he turned the focus onto himself and presented himself as the victim (oh feel my heart) is classic manipulative abusive behaviour too. It sounds like covert narcissistic behaviour. The focus should have been on whether she was okay.
Yea. I found my dads used condom wrappers and they’re all dry. I do know that guys please themselves in condoms tho cuz his house it too dirty to bring over anyone. I’m forever traumatized from that but at least I know that info for the future
So your telling me he hasn't cleaned under his bed or washed those socks in 6 months or she didn't see it any other time she sat in that same spot and fixed her makeup? Yeah no he's cheating.
As a dude I can say we don't do the whole cleaning thing well, but it's kind of obvious that he's cheating tho. Wrappers don't stay moist for that long.
Story 1: if sitting on the floor beside his bed to refresh her makeup is a regular thing, and he claims this used condom wrapper has been there all along, would she not have noticed it sooner?
The fact he knew they needed to “talk” by seeing her looking at something under his bed… ya, he knew he was caught for sure. Like if he truly hadn’t done anything wrong then why did he know right away that he needed to confront an issue. If he hadn’t done anything wrong he would’ve been equally as confused as she was.
exactly my thoughts! i have literally been with someone just like that. he always had a lie planned out that seemed so genuine as if he was welcoming the “conversation” and trying to “validate” how i felt bc of the proof i’d find. i hope that girl got away from him for good.
And literally setting it up so that if she finds anything else she brushes it off. Claiming he found hair ties in the closet... say, the gf found a lipstick or something. He could just say "she probably left that here too a year ago" even if it was just left there recently.
He had a story prepared.. He didn't panic about having to provide an explanation.. He was ready to tell her what she needed to hear in order to be "placated"...
Oh see I disagree, first thing that came to my mind was the way that he was so calm and everything he said was to blow smoke up her ass in order to buy time to come up with an excuse. I think if he had already had the excuse prepared (or was telling the truth), right away he would’ve said something like “oh ew, must be left over from that last girl I dated before you”, ykwim?
He's definitely cheating. The fact that he also brought up the hair tie. He's setting it up so that if she finds other items that aren't hers theres an explanation
And how strange she sat in the same spot every single time and never saw it there before? I mean it's possible she just missed it but that seems strange she never saw it if it had been there for that long.
I dated someone who had a million stories about cheating ex's, and was constantly searching for signs that I was cheating. I found out after we broke up that he was actually the one cheating on me.
Im sorry! It's absolute torture having to prove your trust and constantly being accused. It always seems to be the accuser is the cheater. In my experience anyways 😔😢 I hope you've mentally and emotionally recovered from that toxic relationship and moved on to a happy beautiful life, that you must definitely deserve ♥️
@@sammichmaker4021 aww thank you so much! We didn't date for long luckily and I'm now in a long term happy relationship(: I've almost completely moved on and healed from the guys actions themselves, but I still struggle with forgiving myself for not seeing/ignoring the red flags that seem so obvious now. If anything it's taught me to never ignore my gut feelings!
Some men will make up abusive or chatting exes as an excuse to behave poorly. Telling you he was cheated on gave you plausible doubt that this was why he acted like that when in reality it was because he was a cheater and he knew he was acting like one. It’s completely manipulative behavior. Major red flag
Um...please, always tell the wife. Always. The chance of a psycho wife is slim but a wife that's at home doing his laundry, packing his lunches, and cheering for him...she deserves to know. Because she's pouring her life into his and he's throwing it away.
Some people in marriages give their everything to their partner and somehow get less than nothing in return. I got cheated on a lot because I was usually a “rebound” or a guy would just date me to fuck because I’m chubbier and not conventionally attractive but that was in high school. If I was in a committed relationship with someone and was cooking for them, cleaning for them, giving them all of my love and he fucks another woman (or person) behind my back??? Absolutely devastating. I would be broken.
Sooooo she regularly sat in the same spot to do her makeup, she didn't notice it two weeks ago, and he quickly figured out why she looked upset. If it was a wrapper he didn't know about he wouldn't think "oh that wrapper from 6 months ago...." and I think the lube would've dried.
Oil based condoms stay wet for quite some time, however the other comments are head on. Its unlikely she never noticed it before and that he hasnt cleaned under his bed or his socks for 6 months.
If the condom’s lube is water-based (instead of oil or silicone based), I doubt the condom wrapper has been open for six months. But still, a person does not have to have legal-grade proof to end a relationship if they’re uneasy. Adults can just say, “Nope,” and that’s definitely what I would say to this relationship. Plus, his gentle response sounds way too smooth and rehearsed.
True. Like, I doubt that the wrapper has been open for 6 months. I dont even know what I would do at this point. Cause even if he didnt cheat, how would I be a 100% sure he didnt? Should I test it out and stay for 6 more months in a relationship with someone that possibly cheated on me? Plus, unless I would test it and know for sure that that could have been the reason, there would be so many trust issues. I wouldnt want him to go out alone anymore, thinking he probably goes to meet a girl, asking myself if he's been lying about other stuff. So yeah, even if she doesnt know for sure, leaving him is probably the best option.
But if it was laying under used socks, it seems like it just layed on the floor and he put socks over. why would he not remove it if he saw it. unless he just didn`t care
i was unknowingly the other woman and didn’t find out til i broke up with him but this is TRUE. he was fully talking to another girl with plans to hook up w her and then proceeded to cheat on her too when they got together.
When I heard the calm and collected way he talked it immediately gave me a read flag because if I was accused of cheating id be upset if I infact wasn't. Having emotion is a sign of actually caring about what type of person your partner thinks you are.
The guy who called his girlfriend his "wife" literally has a wife. Cmon, he won't get married but his coworkers think he has a wife? He probably got mad because his coworkers might know his wife and might get him caught. 100%.
I thought so too, having seen the title of the story in the separate vid, but its more likely he just blurted it out for the side-piece and the rumor mill or even boss himself overheard it, realized they don't know much about him, boyfriend had to pile on more lies to deflect all the innocent intrusive questions and not blow his cover in front of the mistress. At some point, maybe even start, boss gave him something of immediate or potential value, promotion, opportunity, priority, notice, modicum of respect, invite for a thing where he can build network or improve relations with higher ups, because of hearing he's a respectful family man. Or maybe senior colleagues did (or just married ones). Bottom line its the perfect control for the affair partner and something at his work become better because of the lie, that is too good to give up
"Should I confront them?" is sometimes as simple as the person knowing that a confrontation has to happen but they need an outside force to validate the decision cause they are so scared of the outcome.
He cheated. She stated she did her “routine” of sitting in the floor and touching up her makeup, and she has never seen it before till this day. CHEATER
My first thought on the wife story was that he was actually married lol and she didn’t know. That would explain why he is adamant to not get married...because he can’t. And his boss would know because of paperwork you fill out when you get employees. Like taxes “married filing joint/separate” because he legal has to say he is married. And retirement in some states your wife/husband HAS to be your beneficiary. That’s where mind went...😂😂
I had an ex who was what I believe to be a high functioning sociopath who cheated on me several times. I only found out about 4 of the occasions which required me to do a lot of digging and secret shit. He hid it all so well and lied to my face in that calm composed way the OP described in the first story. It's absolutely terrifying and I really hope that girl dumped his ass and moved on..
Are sociopaths known to normally be...low functioning? Never heard of that term to describe a sociopath... thought they were all high functioning with their effed up elaborate scheming
My issue with “building a case” is if that person is cheating and I’m intimate with them again after that, they could be passing on STI’s over those weeks/months that I’m gathering evidence. For me, I’d rather wipe my hands clean and leave.
Dude I’m sorry but I’m so frustrated by the whole “good on him for admitting he cheated.” Ummm no? He cheated. It doesn’t matter if they can admit it. He knew that she was going to find out and was done. That’s why girls stay with guys who cheat CONSTANTLY.
Honestly the for the third story I was convinced that he actually was married, and she was the “side piece” and so he was talking about his wife and they thought it was her
Just finished the podcast for this one, and yesssss please these random rants are just so entertaining. Honestly your life experience and stories can be its own segment.
The third story about the boyfriend saying they’re married is living a double life 100% and that’s why he wouldn’t marry the girlfriend. Because he already is. He must talk about his other girl/wife while at work.
SO. The boyfriend said that the condom was from the summer months before he met his gf. He said this without (I ASSUME) knowing the condom was still wet. Not only is he cheating but he is gaslighting/lying to her
*For the “wife” thread* My fiancé and I call each other husband and wife because it’s less “pretentious” than Fiancée/fiancé. We also have a group of friends who call our S/O the matching husband/wife tag, however, we know that everyone wants to get married and it’s in our future (and it’s only around each other). If a man doesn’t want to marry you, why would he get to call you his wife? It’s a sacred word that has a heavy significance for people and to get mad at the OP for correcting a term is uncalled for.
The last story when they’re talking about telling the wife. She deserves to know. You’re not breaking a family, he was the one to decide to cheat on his wife. He’s the one breaking the family. It was his choice. I would tell the wife. I would want to be honest because she deserves to know. I would want to know if I was the wife. I wouldn’t want to be with a man that was cheating on me.
My parents are 20 years apart (and still married), so age differences have never bothered me, but I would be pissed if I thought there was only a 2 year age difference and it turned out there was 8.
Story 1: First of all, his answer sounds rehearsed. Him wanting to come to her house instead all the time randomly, seems like he was scared she would find something so he was trying to avoid it… which would make sense why his answer sounds rehearsed? Like he was preparing for it…Idk…If she sits there to do her makeup every time (which us girls have our “makeup spots” so makes sense), surely she would have seen it before. He’s cheating.
Recently heard that respecting boundaries is the way to show you love and care about someone. It's the easy guide to how to show someone you love them by acknowledging their boundaries because it shows you listened to someone and their needs.
He told coworker he’s married to remove pressure to leave the relationship. The girl he’s cheating with was probably pressuring him to leave his girlfriend so he lied and said she’s my wife.
I dealt with a similar situation as the condom wrapper. The looking me straight in the eyes, validating my feelings, making me feel his heart beat, ect. He was lying the entire time and that was still gaslighting.
I've had a boy who had kissed me while he was in a relationship, sincerely, dead in my face, tell me and our friends that he has never cheated on anyone. If I hadnt literally known 1st hand that he was lying, I would have believed him. so creepy.
Honestly for that first one if it was actually there for six months a normal person wouldn’t actually be that intense about the situation, they’d probably think it wasn’t a huge deal and try to dismiss it before accepting that they need to talk about it.
I think she lied about the heartbeat thing, I think she wanted everyone to say he wasn't cheating, so she threw that in, because that is super weird. And it backfired.
I got the exact same vibe from that specific comment as well. Maybe she built up that conversation a little bit in her head to get the opinions she wanted to hear.
My dad used to do that when he was lying and wanted us to believe him even when we had recorded evidence that he was lying. Some people are really good at lying and keeping their heartbeats steady even when they get caught. (Probably because they think they can still get away with it)
(for the girlfriend finding out he has a wife) found out my boyfriend of 2 1/2 was cheating, first thing i did was tell the other girl - she stayed, but i knew i would feel guilty if i didn’t tell her. it’s all personal preference and what you’re comfortable with, but from experience, i think it’s better to tell
Definitely cheating. I was in a situation where something I did looked bad but I wasn’t cheating and I was crying and begging and my heart was racing so much because I didn’t want to lose him over something that wasn’t the way it seems
He needs to be straight with her. What are the perks he thinks he is getting from his work by calling her her wife? More respect? Higher pay maybe compares to his single coworkers? What is it? It’s fishy and wrong
For the cheating wife from Alejandras story: you are not throwing a grenade, she set off a time bomb on her family already and the longer they sit on it the more damage it’ll cause
I'm having such a hard day, bawling uncontrollably and Ale saying "he's still there poisoning the lakes" and it just flipped my mood completely. That was so so needed and funny. Thank you
I heard something interesting about the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" I heard that it's true because once they cheat to you and in your mind and heart you'll always see them as a cheater on some level It's more than your image and full trust in them is broken rather than a guarantee they'll do it again
My ex took our daughter ( age 5 at the time) on a date and still tried to lie about it . Said our daughter lied 🤥. Even though she got the name of girl correct. He Still lied about it. Said daughter told me about the affair. Ugh 😣 why lie about cheating if you are gonna take your daughter with you .
1:10:02 Alejandra girl😭 please always tell the other woman/partner thats getting cheated on. It doesn’t matter if you are “blowing up a family” everyone deserves to know if they are getting cheated on & betrayed. I would be sick if i found out that someone knew i was getting cheated on and didn’t let me know. Because why do i have to continue on not knowing that I’m being betrayed behind my back. You are NOT the one throwing the grenade at the family, the person who cheated is. You can let the person know and then remove yourself from the situation to avoid the extra drama.
I swear I'm the exact same wave length as these girls, especially Alejandra 🥰 love you ladies! First podcast I've actually be able to stand listening to, let alone getting hooked to! 🥰
I agree about letting him hold the groceries. My man won't let me hold too much and fixes stuff for me. I'm useless with tools and the man is an electrician. But I'm pretty decent at making food so I usually cook. I don't really think about this like gender roles especially because we always clean together and he helps me put laundry away and he cooks when I'm sick. I think you just gotta take care of each other
I was a side chick once that I knew he was in a relationship. He talked all kinds of crap about her and I let myself believe it despite knowing better (so absolutely my fault) and I broke things off. He kept telling me he was leaving her and she was crazy and she wasn’t happy with her. They got married later and then divorced and he got separated from the military with a dishonorable discharge. I got my karma in the end though. When I finally got in a committed relationship I couldn’t feel trust or believe he was faithful for years!!! He was but I was constantly broken because I couldn’t believe it. That was the guilt I felt for doing what I did. Also I didn’t respect myself AT ALL when I was seeing that guy. I was hurting myself in so many ways. It was me dealing with my trauma from my childhood since I had been sexually assaulted for years by my father.
The dude berating and then asking his gf to lie to his coworker to help him save face for lying…. That just sounds like a narcissist being mad they got exposed making things up about themselves, projecting it onto the person they’re with.
Just a thought - for the first story - if she usually sits on the floor in the same spot getting ready, how had she never seen the wrapper before? And that would straight up mean her BF never cleans his room?
I follow a diagnosed sociopath on TT; and according to her, sociopaths don't feel remorse, regret, or sympathy. So, for him to point out his heart rate wasn't the slightest bit raised in a tense moment, says he has no remorse for what he did and the utmost confidence in his ability to gaslight her. This dude sounds scary af.😬
my bf’s cousin found out her boyfriend was cheating in such a good way. she made a fake facebook account and started messaging him and convinced him to meet up with her EIGHT HOURS AFTER THEY STARTED TEXTING. when they met up he realized it was her and he started back peddling. this was about a year ago and they’re still together to this day but i would’ve been done then and there.
i had an ex that would lie looking into my eyes and would even wipe my tears when i first got suspicious about her infidelity, so girl… his posture means nothing
Yes! The grenade analogy doesn’t work because a grenade isn’t still there if you do nothing. The landmine is. It may stay there, undisturbed, for years, forever for all you know. Or it may not. But it’s there no matter what you do.
@@marilishr5978 Why? Would you feel better knowing you were cheated on? Would you think better of your spouse? Would it improve your marriage in any way whatsoever? If a partner makes a bad decision and it’s an isolated incident, that’s his or her cross to bear. They shouldn’t absolve themselves of guilt by telling their spouse. It’s selfish. If it’s a character problem, if someone is cheating repeatedly, for an ongoing period of time, sure, their spouse deserves to know and either accept it or end the relationship, but destroying a family over an isolated incident is shitty.
@@Rena-ej7vv it wasn’t a one time thing, she was a psycho. I would like to know if the person I trust and am intimate with has been messing up with someone else. It would help me see the real person. To me cheating is up there with violence, is a type of psychological abuse so yeah I would want to know
Exactly. Well, actually less like uncovering a landmine and more like saying "Wait stop!! Dont step there!" As the husband just set one down in his wife's path.
“Still lives in Minnesota poisoning the Lakes " is the best thing I've heard in a long time! I'm from Great Lakes and I may have to still this line! Love your podcasts!? 💞
I’m rewatching videos because ✨boredom✨. On my second watch I thought I should weigh in. I believe in being the bigger person. HOWEVER, I think that you should do whatever you need to do to heal as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone(including yourself.) if both parties were okay with sleeping together, I say go for it. It’s amazing if people can go through life and move on without getting revenge(?) but sometimes people aren’t wired that way. I think the main issue is that they both need to explore introspectively and see if that’s really what they need to move on. One could argue that it would hurt the ex’s, but I don’t feel that they have a right to that hurt. Once they severed their partner’s trust, they no longer have a say in how they heal themselves.
I've had almost an exact situation with a guy I dated he's cheating for sure and a liar. Like he did everything like this had me look directly in his eyes, feel his heart rate, talk calmly to me, everything. All this means is that he's used to being in these situations and being caught cheating and knows how to handle it. If he isn't cheating I'll be extremely surprised.
I thought the third one was going towards a secret wife😂 me and my partner spoke about marriage and then I fell pregnant, the marriage plans flew out the window but he calls me ‘the mrs’
When my dad cheated my mum literally found a lawyer the next day and left that 25 year relationship bc she knew he’d do it again… but on the other hand I cheated got caught out and because it changed both our lives in bad ways,I would never ever do it again, I guess it’s each their own but I think that’s how you can decider a cheater from a person who made a mistake
That’s such a hard thing when telling the married spouse their husband/ wife is cheating. Because it’s not just the adults. This affects innocent children. But if the husband/ wife didn’t cheat to begin with there would be no situation. It would be hard…but I’d tell. It sucks. And it’s hard…but damn. I feel for the kids. And the family dynamic
27:45 no one talks about how hard it is to not give your boyfriend “wife privileges” when your love language is acts of service. I relate to Lauren’s “oops!” So much 😂
I’ve tried the build a case tactic and I always end up with scraps 😭 spent 3 years with a dude while trying to build a case and we BOTH became the toxic gaslighting one lol🤧
Story 1: Definitely a cheater. The change in wanting to only go to her house? The wet condom? Not explaining RIGHT AWAY?? If you KNOW it looks bad wouldn't you be a LITTLE stressed? I'd run. Guy sounds like a sociopath.
8 years isn't weird.... when both people KNOW that it's 8 years (and of course, they're both of legal age). It would definitely be disturbing to discover your significant other is older than you by more than you realized.
I think that if you find out someone you're dating/hooking up with is married and has a family and you tell the spouse then you aren't the one throwing a grenade at the family. You are alerting the family to the bomb that's already been planted in their house. The person who did the cheating is the one that destroyed the family not you
I completely agree with you. If you had no clue this person was married, you too are basically a victim of the cheater. Telling the spouse is the right thing to do in my opinion. Tell the spouse and let them decide what to do with that information.
What he did in the beginning when she found the wrapper and he sat down to talk wasn't honesty - it was skillful manipulation. He has lied before, a lot. When you read that part my blood ran cold: my ex who gaslighted me for 2 years and was cheating and lying about other things behind my back was this smooth and skillful from the very first time I confronted him with suspicions about him going through my phone and laptop. I hope she ran, and if she sees this now, trust your gut and walk away before you waste years with him. I speak from experience.
All the “best friend betrays OP” stories on Reddit has made me appreciate my best friends even more. And luckily, except for celebrities, my BFFs and I have completely different tastes when it comes to guys.
Okay absolutely LOVE this podcast, feels like I’m with my girlfriends just hanging out ✨ (im in a family of all boys, n im the oldest n don’t really have any girly friends ) soo feels nice listening to real stories about relationships n different life situations that I can very much relate to and just getting that simple feeling of validation from your responses and the comments! Because lemme tell ya It’s hard taking advice in what to do in a relationship from a bunch of boys lol ANYWAYS much love 🤍
With the story about the bf lying about her being his wife. I thought about him cheating and saying to the coworker "I can't divorce my wife, it's too complicated but I love you". Married dudes always play with that.
The revenge discussion was really interesting. Everyone’s personalities are very very different. I am perfectly fine with the revenge idea. Evens it out. If I talk to the person who did me wrong for “closure” would give them closure too. Getting even it closure where it doesn’t feel like neither of us won and neither lost. I don’t care about being the bigger person. Let’s make it even. But to be fair, I don’t really do long term relationships and I’ve never been cheated on. Im aromantic at least at this time in my life 🤷🏻♀️
I cant believe he said he would never manipulate her, he said that TO MANIPULATE HER, but he’s trying to play it smart, I can’t believe people like this can lie so easily, and on top of the expiration date,
You all were talking about the side chick/side piece mentality. The bottom line about it is respect and self respect. Any man who is making you his side piece doesn’t have any REAL respect for you. You don’t respect something you won’t show to the world without any shame or deception and you can’t love someone you don’t respect. He may love the attention and validation and thrill of sneaking around from you but those are things he (or she there is no difference with gender) can get from you and any other rube they fool into playing your game. That isn’t the same as actually loving the fool. And people who settle for being the side piece, they don’t respect themselves. They tell themselves this is fine, you don’t NEED the commitment or the place in the light next to their AP, they don’t NEED the respect of a full partnership, they try to tell themselves they are somehow better that the naive spouse because he wants or needs you… but you can replace need with DESERVE and it’s closer to the truth and it’s not you he wants, it what he can get from you with minimal effort and total lack of sacrifice. You dnt believe you deserve the whole package or you’d never settle for less. You’re replaceable when you accept less that real partnership. After all, even a cheated on spouse has the respect of society and the dignity of at least having made the vow even if he broke it. A sidepiece is always the homewrecker even if he were to leave his wife and then marry them. Cause they had to sunder something to personally gain and there is no dignity in that.
Lol the reason he wants her to pretend to be his wife is because studies show married men in the work place get promoted and better treatment than non married men. He’s definitely trying to eat his cake while not having to worry about the commit. Which is really messed up. She should cut her losses and run.
For real. Why would he want to lie and call her his wife but not want to just sign the papers for it or something? Like I understand some people don’t want to get married, but lying about it? It just sounds like he doesn’t want the commitment.
@@Rockinashy Like someone else said, maybe he is already married. So he can't marry his girlfriend and the boss would know that he is married because thats one of the informations you have to give them. So he would know that he is cheating.
@@Shyress yessss but also weren’t they together for like 6 years and lived together? I feel like it would be hard to hide that he has another wife but people do get away with that stuff 👀
I dated a guy like that first guy He was fucking CRAZY, ruined my life, almost killed me, is a covert narcissist, and would lie just like that and act like a sane person but that cannot be further from the truth. So glad I left and NEVER LOOKED BACK!
He is cheating, men do the deny deny deny thing even if you have all the evidence. Women want to believe and will believe I don’t know why?! Leave him girl a man that can lie to you, look into your eyes and act that way. You aren’t the first not the last. Move on!
That behavior within first story. The super calm lying is a sign of a potential abuser as well.
Freaked me out
Plus I’m saying he finds hair ties and stuff from past hook ups just sounds like he’s giving an excuse incase she finds any more things
@@katothehuman2749 exactly what I thought when they read it. "well I find hair ties and I don't see a need to tell you about it" is a red flag to me.
For real!! I hear a serious abuser & narcissist 😔
So true! The way he turned the focus onto himself and presented himself as the victim (oh feel my heart) is classic manipulative abusive behaviour too. It sounds like covert narcissistic behaviour. The focus should have been on whether she was okay.
I tested the condom thing before, it dries out overnight. He cheated and recently. Girlfriend he’s a psycho! RUN! You’re in for far worse if you stay!
But why did you test the condom thing before 🧐I’m curious af
Thank you! And yeah, my guess is hours before she showed up.
@@tyliyahhayilyt9700 probably got the same sorry excuse from a man before lmaoo
Yea. I found my dads used condom wrappers and they’re all dry. I do know that guys please themselves in condoms tho cuz his house it too dirty to bring over anyone. I’m forever traumatized from that but at least I know that info for the future
@@brainfluidZ yeah, we all know that. A condom doesn't dry out overnight but the wrapper does
So your telling me he hasn't cleaned under his bed or washed those socks in 6 months or she didn't see it any other time she sat in that same spot and fixed her makeup? Yeah no he's cheating.
Thought ALL of this.
This comment checks all the boxes
As a dude I can say we don't do the whole cleaning thing well, but it's kind of obvious that he's cheating tho. Wrappers don't stay moist for that long.
literally my thoughts exactly
LITERALLY…. Like he hasn’t vacuumed in 6 months?
Story 1: if sitting on the floor beside his bed to refresh her makeup is a regular thing, and he claims this used condom wrapper has been there all along, would she not have noticed it sooner?
I didn't think of that shit
Period!
Yes! OP said she hadn't been to his place in 2 weeks. It had to occur over the 2 weeks she wasn't over. Smh
Yes exactly! first thought!
That was exactly what I was thinking! Thank you! She would have seen it before when she did her usual routine by his bed.
tested the condon theory, hes deffo lyinggggg
Thank you for your service! lol
@@ShelbyDazed 😁😁😁👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Same my partner tends to forget to chuck out the condom and leaves it in the drawer, dries up before a week 😂
“Feel my heartbeat” = guy who has experience in being a sociopath. I hope she RAN.
Yea no he’s cheating
I've found the best "revenge" is to move on with your life. Let them spend their energy knowing you're living your best life, happy without them.
Preach!
🙌🏼
Exactly
100%
Came here to say this! The less they know about you the less they can manipulate you. Drives them crazy.
"Feel my heartbeat" 🚩🚩🚩 Typical psychopath proving themselves "not guilty" move
Right? Because even someone telling the truth would probably be nervous about their partner’s reaction/response
Yep he is lying
Yeah that made no sense. If my missus accused me of cheating and I hadn't, I'd still be sweating bullets just from the stress of it.
The fact he knew they needed to “talk” by seeing her looking at something under his bed… ya, he knew he was caught for sure. Like if he truly hadn’t done anything wrong then why did he know right away that he needed to confront an issue. If he hadn’t done anything wrong he would’ve been equally as confused as she was.
exactly my thoughts! i have literally been with someone just like that. he always had a lie planned out that seemed so genuine as if he was welcoming the “conversation” and trying to “validate” how i felt bc of the proof i’d find. i hope that girl got away from him for good.
@@kiadimakis8960 hxx I’m x
fr like you remember you have a condom there from 6 months ago
Condom guy is lying but doing it in a way that causes confusion and self doubt while coming across as genuine
Yikes gss lighters are the worst 😪
Damn he’s a dangerous one
And literally setting it up so that if she finds anything else she brushes it off. Claiming he found hair ties in the closet... say, the gf found a lipstick or something. He could just say "she probably left that here too a year ago" even if it was just left there recently.
He had a story prepared.. He didn't panic about having to provide an explanation.. He was ready to tell her what she needed to hear in order to be "placated"...
How do i know if the story is prepared or just the truth tho 😭
Oh see I disagree, first thing that came to my mind was the way that he was so calm and everything he said was to blow smoke up her ass in order to buy time to come up with an excuse. I think if he had already had the excuse prepared (or was telling the truth), right away he would’ve said something like “oh ew, must be left over from that last girl I dated before you”, ykwim?
Exactly.
He's definitely cheating. The fact that he also brought up the hair tie. He's setting it up so that if she finds other items that aren't hers theres an explanation
And how strange she sat in the same spot every single time and never saw it there before? I mean it's possible she just missed it but that seems strange she never saw it if it had been there for that long.
Literally. He had a script or he's used that before on other women and it does not phase him, even a bit.
I dated someone who had a million stories about cheating ex's, and was constantly searching for signs that I was cheating. I found out after we broke up that he was actually the one cheating on me.
Im sorry! It's absolute torture having to prove your trust and constantly being accused.
It always seems to be the accuser is the cheater. In my experience anyways 😔😢
I hope you've mentally and emotionally recovered from that toxic relationship and moved on to a happy beautiful life, that you must definitely deserve ♥️
@@sammichmaker4021 aww thank you so much! We didn't date for long luckily and I'm now in a long term happy relationship(:
I've almost completely moved on and healed from the guys actions themselves, but I still struggle with forgiving myself for not seeing/ignoring the red flags that seem so obvious now.
If anything it's taught me to never ignore my gut feelings!
That’s crazy
Honestly he sounds like he was paranoid, he knew how easily he could cheat but you could do this same, glad you got outta there
Some men will make up abusive or chatting exes as an excuse to behave poorly. Telling you he was cheated on gave you plausible doubt that this was why he acted like that when in reality it was because he was a cheater and he knew he was acting like one. It’s completely manipulative behavior. Major red flag
Um...please, always tell the wife. Always. The chance of a psycho wife is slim but a wife that's at home doing his laundry, packing his lunches, and cheering for him...she deserves to know. Because she's pouring her life into his and he's throwing it away.
THANK YOU!!! Tell the friggin wife
Def, he decided to throw his family away. Not her
Don't just tell her. Give her the evidence to use against him.
Yes
Some people in marriages give their everything to their partner and somehow get less than nothing in return. I got cheated on a lot because I was usually a “rebound” or a guy would just date me to fuck because I’m chubbier and not conventionally attractive but that was in high school. If I was in a committed relationship with someone and was cooking for them, cleaning for them, giving them all of my love and he fucks another woman (or person) behind my back??? Absolutely devastating. I would be broken.
First story: She broke up with him! No official update just a comment from OP (she added a smiley face to the comment so she seems to be doing well)
Sooooo she regularly sat in the same spot to do her makeup, she didn't notice it two weeks ago, and he quickly figured out why she looked upset. If it was a wrapper he didn't know about he wouldn't think "oh that wrapper from 6 months ago...." and I think the lube would've dried.
Oil based condoms stay wet for quite some time, however the other comments are head on. Its unlikely she never noticed it before and that he hasnt cleaned under his bed or his socks for 6 months.
That was my first thought too! So she sits here on the reg and never noticed before? He's lying.
Exactly.. And yeah.. Somehow he knew right away what she was looking at and knew exactly how long ago it was? Psshhh
@@blackllistd5752but we’re talking about wrappers not the actual condom and even so i doubt it would stay wet for over 6 months
If the condom’s lube is water-based (instead of oil or silicone based), I doubt the condom wrapper has been open for six months. But still, a person does not have to have legal-grade proof to end a relationship if they’re uneasy. Adults can just say, “Nope,” and that’s definitely what I would say to this relationship. Plus, his gentle response sounds way too smooth and rehearsed.
True. Like, I doubt that the wrapper has been open for 6 months. I dont even know what I would do at this point. Cause even if he didnt cheat, how would I be a 100% sure he didnt? Should I test it out and stay for 6 more months in a relationship with someone that possibly cheated on me? Plus, unless I would test it and know for sure that that could have been the reason, there would be so many trust issues.
I wouldnt want him to go out alone anymore, thinking he probably goes to meet a girl, asking myself if he's been lying about other stuff. So yeah, even if she doesnt know for sure, leaving him is probably the best option.
But if it was laying under used socks, it seems like it just layed on the floor and he put socks over. why would he not remove it if he saw it. unless he just didn`t care
@@smiley6080 it was on TOP of the socks. And she had sat in that spot many times before and it was never there
If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you. Almost never fails
i was unknowingly the other woman and didn’t find out til i broke up with him but this is TRUE. he was fully talking to another girl with plans to hook up w her and then proceeded to cheat on her too when they got together.
When I heard the calm and collected way he talked it immediately gave me a read flag because if I was accused of cheating id be upset if I infact wasn't. Having emotion is a sign of actually caring about what type of person your partner thinks you are.
The guy who called his girlfriend his "wife" literally has a wife. Cmon, he won't get married but his coworkers think he has a wife? He probably got mad because his coworkers might know his wife and might get him caught. 100%.
What? They live together lmao
@@taylorknight5702 to be fair there's been people with secret spouses that lived with the person that doesn't know.
I agree. He has a wife but it’s not that girl…
nah. they live together and it was coworker singular, not coworkers. the person on the business call or whatever it was WAS the mistress.
I thought so too, having seen the title of the story in the separate vid, but its more likely he just blurted it out for the side-piece and the rumor mill or even boss himself overheard it, realized they don't know much about him, boyfriend had to pile on more lies to deflect all the innocent intrusive questions and not blow his cover in front of the mistress. At some point, maybe even start, boss gave him something of immediate or potential value, promotion, opportunity, priority, notice, modicum of respect, invite for a thing where he can build network or improve relations with higher ups, because of hearing he's a respectful family man. Or maybe senior colleagues did (or just married ones). Bottom line its the perfect control for the affair partner and something at his work become better because of the lie, that is too good to give up
"Should I confront them?" is sometimes as simple as the person knowing that a confrontation has to happen but they need an outside force to validate the decision cause they are so scared of the outcome.
He cheated. She stated she did her “routine” of sitting in the floor and touching up her makeup, and she has never seen it before till this day. CHEATER
exactly he’s obviously cheated throughout their relationship and that was recebt
Exactly!!! If she's sat in the same spot several times over 6 months she def would have seen it before. He's most definitely cheating
My first thought on the wife story was that he was actually married lol and she didn’t know. That would explain why he is adamant to not get married...because he can’t. And his boss would know because of paperwork you fill out when you get employees. Like taxes “married filing joint/separate” because he legal has to say he is married. And retirement in some states your wife/husband HAS to be your beneficiary. That’s where mind went...😂😂
Yes!!! I agree 👍
That was my thought as well!
That was my thought too.
Same that’s why I thought it was put in the cheating episode lol
Same
I had an ex who was what I believe to be a high functioning sociopath who cheated on me several times. I only found out about 4 of the occasions which required me to do a lot of digging and secret shit. He hid it all so well and lied to my face in that calm composed way the OP described in the first story. It's absolutely terrifying and I really hope that girl dumped his ass and moved on..
I’ve been through this before too…it’s very scary to be in a relationship like that…so glad I made it out safe and he’s bout to be in jail
Are sociopaths known to normally be...low functioning? Never heard of that term to describe a sociopath... thought they were all high functioning with their effed up elaborate scheming
@@khu3491 sociopath just means having low empathy, some aren't good at hiding it, and probably would be considered "low functioning" in that sense
Agreed. The calm & composed lying is a scary thing.
My issue with “building a case” is if that person is cheating and I’m intimate with them again after that, they could be passing on STI’s over those weeks/months that I’m gathering evidence. For me, I’d rather wipe my hands clean and leave.
that could be ur proof lol
You could
Sustain but yeah I say just leave
I would just choose to say if I went that route to say you wanted to start using condoms for more of a protection
Dude I’m sorry but I’m so frustrated by the whole “good on him for admitting he cheated.” Ummm no? He cheated. It doesn’t matter if they can admit it. He knew that she was going to find out and was done.
That’s why girls stay with guys who cheat CONSTANTLY.
Honestly the for the third story I was convinced that he actually was married, and she was the “side piece” and so he was talking about his wife and they thought it was her
How would he immediately know she’d seen a condom wrapper under the bed… if he supposedly didn’t know it was still there from 6 months ago…
Just finished the podcast for this one, and yesssss please these random rants are just so entertaining. Honestly your life experience and stories can be its own segment.
The third story about the boyfriend saying they’re married is living a double life 100% and that’s why he wouldn’t marry the girlfriend. Because he already is. He must talk about his other girl/wife while at work.
YES! My brain was instantly like “boom, he’s already married and living a double life”
SO. The boyfriend said that the condom was from the summer months before he met his gf. He said this without (I ASSUME) knowing the condom was still wet. Not only is he cheating but he is gaslighting/lying to her
*For the “wife” thread*
My fiancé and I call each other husband and wife because it’s less “pretentious” than Fiancée/fiancé. We also have a group of friends who call our S/O the matching husband/wife tag, however, we know that everyone wants to get married and it’s in our future (and it’s only around each other). If a man doesn’t want to marry you, why would he get to call you his wife? It’s a sacred word that has a heavy significance for people and to get mad at the OP for correcting a term is uncalled for.
If my boyfriend calls me his wife, I’m wondering why he hasn’t proposed ..:
The last story when they’re talking about telling the wife. She deserves to know. You’re not breaking a family, he was the one to decide to cheat on his wife. He’s the one breaking the family. It was his choice. I would tell the wife. I would want to be honest because she deserves to know. I would want to know if I was the wife. I wouldn’t want to be with a man that was cheating on me.
i just found your podcast on tiktok and now i'm addicted
So happy you found us!!
same bestie
same
My parents are 20 years apart (and still married), so age differences have never bothered me, but I would be pissed if I thought there was only a 2 year age difference and it turned out there was 8.
fr it’s not a “hes 8 yrs older than me” it’s “hes 8yrs older than me and I never even knew”
Story 1: First of all, his answer sounds rehearsed. Him wanting to come to her house instead all the time randomly, seems like he was scared she would find something so he was trying to avoid it… which would make sense why his answer sounds rehearsed? Like he was preparing for it…Idk…If she sits there to do her makeup every time (which us girls have our “makeup spots” so makes sense), surely she would have seen it before. He’s cheating.
Recently heard that respecting boundaries is the way to show you love and care about someone. It's the easy guide to how to show someone you love them by acknowledging their boundaries because it shows you listened to someone and their needs.
He told coworker he’s married to remove pressure to leave the relationship. The girl he’s cheating with was probably pressuring him to leave his girlfriend so he lied and said she’s my wife.
I love this channel! It's like having tea time with the ladies in quarantine
I'm literally thinking of starting a group like a book club for reading reddit posts with my friends. Lol
TIMESTAMPS !!
story 1 - 0:10
story 2 - 19:39
story 3 - 41:25
story 4 - 1:05:38
gods work 🙏
Underrated comment
Thank You
I dealt with a similar situation as the condom wrapper. The looking me straight in the eyes, validating my feelings, making me feel his heart beat, ect. He was lying the entire time and that was still gaslighting.
"Now I'm Ignited' is an amazing statement and this should be part of your merch.
I've had a boy who had kissed me while he was in a relationship, sincerely, dead in my face, tell me and our friends that he has never cheated on anyone. If I hadnt literally known 1st hand that he was lying, I would have believed him. so creepy.
Honestly for that first one if it was actually there for six months a normal person wouldn’t actually be that intense about the situation, they’d probably think it wasn’t a huge deal and try to dismiss it before accepting that they need to talk about it.
I think she lied about the heartbeat thing, I think she wanted everyone to say he wasn't cheating, so she threw that in, because that is super weird. And it backfired.
I got the exact same vibe from that specific comment as well. Maybe she built up that conversation a little bit in her head to get the opinions she wanted to hear.
I thought about this too when I first read the story then afterwards I had a man do it to me
My dad used to do that when he was lying and wanted us to believe him even when we had recorded evidence that he was lying. Some people are really good at lying and keeping their heartbeats steady even when they get caught. (Probably because they think they can still get away with it)
I definetly would be like "Fine let's clean your room so we don't find anymore used condom wrappers." Then see what happens from there.
Yes! Also how disturbing is it that he has not cleaned his bedroom in that long?
I think the age gap was weird because he was lying about his age and she had an idea of a different person. Catfish people are weird .
My ex boyfriend looked me dead in my face, cried and swore on someones grave that he didn't cheat. He was* in fact cheating the entire relationship.
My ex exactly!!!
(for the girlfriend finding out he has a wife) found out my boyfriend of 2 1/2 was cheating, first thing i did was tell the other girl - she stayed, but i knew i would feel guilty if i didn’t tell her. it’s all personal preference and what you’re comfortable with, but from experience, i think it’s better to tell
Definitely cheating. I was in a situation where something I did looked bad but I wasn’t cheating and I was crying and begging and my heart was racing so much because I didn’t want to lose him over something that wasn’t the way it seems
He needs to be straight with her. What are the perks he thinks he is getting from his work by calling her her wife? More respect? Higher pay maybe compares to his single coworkers? What is it? It’s fishy and wrong
OK so glad you agree
For the cheating wife from Alejandras story: you are not throwing a grenade, she set off a time bomb on her family already and the longer they sit on it the more damage it’ll cause
"You build a case."
*Law & Order Dun Dun sound plays *
There's no excuse to not tell the wife. Regardless of your own feelings
I'm having such a hard day, bawling uncontrollably and Ale saying "he's still there poisoning the lakes" and it just flipped my mood completely. That was so so needed and funny. Thank you
I heard something interesting about the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" I heard that it's true because once they cheat to you and in your mind and heart you'll always see them as a cheater on some level
It's more than your image and full trust in them is broken rather than a guarantee they'll do it again
That makes sense!
My ex took our daughter ( age 5 at the time) on a date and still tried to lie about it . Said our daughter lied 🤥. Even though she got the name of girl correct. He Still lied about it. Said daughter told me about the affair. Ugh 😣 why lie about cheating if you are gonna take your daughter with you .
1:10:02 Alejandra girl😭 please always tell the other woman/partner thats getting cheated on. It doesn’t matter if you are “blowing up a family” everyone deserves to know if they are getting cheated on & betrayed. I would be sick if i found out that someone knew i was getting cheated on and didn’t let me know. Because why do i have to continue on not knowing that I’m being betrayed behind my back. You are NOT the one throwing the grenade at the family, the person who cheated is. You can let the person know and then remove yourself from the situation to avoid the extra drama.
I swear I'm the exact same wave length as these girls, especially Alejandra 🥰 love you ladies! First podcast I've actually be able to stand listening to, let alone getting hooked to! 🥰
"Still lives in Minnesota poisoning the lakes" 😂😂😂😂😂 I'm dying!!! That is the most beautifully savage thing I've ever heard said about a toxic ex 😂😂😂😂
I agree about letting him hold the groceries. My man won't let me hold too much and fixes stuff for me. I'm useless with tools and the man is an electrician. But I'm pretty decent at making food so I usually cook. I don't really think about this like gender roles especially because we always clean together and he helps me put laundry away and he cooks when I'm sick. I think you just gotta take care of each other
I would ask to check his phone. If he is coming out that sincere, he should then understand why you would want to do that. See how he reacts. ✌🏽
They’re always deleting stuff
I was a side chick once that I knew he was in a relationship. He talked all kinds of crap about her and I let myself believe it despite knowing better (so absolutely my fault) and I broke things off. He kept telling me he was leaving her and she was crazy and she wasn’t happy with her. They got married later and then divorced and he got separated from the military with a dishonorable discharge. I got my karma in the end though. When I finally got in a committed relationship I couldn’t feel trust or believe he was faithful for years!!! He was but I was constantly broken because I couldn’t believe it. That was the guilt I felt for doing what I did. Also I didn’t respect myself AT ALL when I was seeing that guy. I was hurting myself in so many ways. It was me dealing with my trauma from my childhood since I had been sexually assaulted for years by my father.
The dude berating and then asking his gf to lie to his coworker to help him save face for lying…. That just sounds like a narcissist being mad they got exposed making things up about themselves, projecting it onto the person they’re with.
Just a thought - for the first story - if she usually sits on the floor in the same spot getting ready, how had she never seen the wrapper before? And that would straight up mean her BF never cleans his room?
I follow a diagnosed sociopath on TT; and according to her, sociopaths don't feel remorse, regret, or sympathy. So, for him to point out his heart rate wasn't the slightest bit raised in a tense moment, says he has no remorse for what he did and the utmost confidence in his ability to gaslight her. This dude sounds scary af.😬
my bf’s cousin found out her boyfriend was cheating in such a good way. she made a fake facebook account and started messaging him and convinced him to meet up with her EIGHT HOURS AFTER THEY STARTED TEXTING. when they met up he realized it was her and he started back peddling. this was about a year ago and they’re still together to this day but i would’ve been done then and there.
Oh wow. There's no way I would have stayed with him after that!
It blows my mind that grown ass adults cant or won’t communicate, like they just expect you to read their minds😩
I’m literally addicted to these videos 😩
If that's her routine at his place over months of going there and it's "been there for months" you would have seen it before this day.
If you haven’t proposed you cannot call her your wife
that first guy is a sociopath "feel my heart" crazy
i had an ex that would lie looking into my eyes and would even wipe my tears when i first got suspicious about her infidelity, so girl… his posture means nothing
I disagree with telling the cheated partner is like throwing a grenade in a family, more like uncovering a landmine
Yes! The grenade analogy doesn’t work because a grenade isn’t still there if you do nothing. The landmine is. It may stay there, undisturbed, for years, forever for all you know. Or it may not. But it’s there no matter what you do.
Me as a wife would like to know 🤷🏻♀️
@@marilishr5978 Why? Would you feel better knowing you were cheated on? Would you think better of your spouse? Would it improve your marriage in any way whatsoever? If a partner makes a bad decision and it’s an isolated incident, that’s his or her cross to bear. They shouldn’t absolve themselves of guilt by telling their spouse. It’s selfish. If it’s a character problem, if someone is cheating repeatedly, for an ongoing period of time, sure, their spouse deserves to know and either accept it or end the relationship, but destroying a family over an isolated incident is shitty.
@@Rena-ej7vv it wasn’t a one time thing, she was a psycho. I would like to know if the person I trust and am intimate with has been messing up with someone else. It would help me see the real person. To me cheating is up there with violence, is a type of psychological abuse so yeah I would want to know
Exactly. Well, actually less like uncovering a landmine and more like saying "Wait stop!! Dont step there!" As the husband just set one down in his wife's path.
Wait but the question no one is asking: are those REAL BANANAS growing out of that tree???
Yes, it's a banana tree, Morgan ordered off an online tree site that I remember sponsoring ar least once
hi!!! been listening to yalls podcast ever since i found it a week ago! fellow minnesotan here and been loving hearing all the mn references LOL
I listen to no other podcasts, really, but I'm f*cking addicted to this one.
“Still lives in Minnesota poisoning the Lakes " is the best thing I've heard in a long time! I'm from Great Lakes and I may have to still this line! Love your podcasts!? 💞
I’m rewatching videos because ✨boredom✨. On my second watch I thought I should weigh in. I believe in being the bigger person. HOWEVER, I think that you should do whatever you need to do to heal as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone(including yourself.) if both parties were okay with sleeping together, I say go for it. It’s amazing if people can go through life and move on without getting revenge(?) but sometimes people aren’t wired that way. I think the main issue is that they both need to explore introspectively and see if that’s really what they need to move on.
One could argue that it would hurt the ex’s, but I don’t feel that they have a right to that hurt. Once they severed their partner’s trust, they no longer have a say in how they heal themselves.
I agree also it's not the same level as petty bc the wife and guy arent5in relationships anymore but the others were before
I've had almost an exact situation with a guy I dated he's cheating for sure and a liar. Like he did everything like this had me look directly in his eyes, feel his heart rate, talk calmly to me, everything. All this means is that he's used to being in these situations and being caught cheating and knows how to handle it. If he isn't cheating I'll be extremely surprised.
I thought the third one was going towards a secret wife😂 me and my partner spoke about marriage and then I fell pregnant, the marriage plans flew out the window but he calls me ‘the mrs’
I don't know why but when people call their wives "the Mrs" I love it 😂 I think it's such a cute way of saying it
When my dad cheated my mum literally found a lawyer the next day and left that 25 year relationship bc she knew he’d do it again… but on the other hand I cheated got caught out and because it changed both our lives in bad ways,I would never ever do it again, I guess it’s each their own but I think that’s how you can decider a cheater from a person who made a mistake
That’s such a hard thing when telling the married spouse their husband/ wife is cheating. Because it’s not just the adults. This affects innocent children. But if the husband/ wife didn’t cheat to begin with there would be no situation. It would be hard…but I’d tell. It sucks. And it’s hard…but damn. I feel for the kids. And the family dynamic
Why would anyone hold out hope for a man they know will cheat, because he’s cheating with them? That’s extremely idiotic.
27:45 no one talks about how hard it is to not give your boyfriend “wife privileges” when your love language is acts of service. I relate to Lauren’s “oops!” So much 😂
That's not Lauren 😭
When they said people frequently mix up Lauren and Alejandra I didn't believe it because I can so clearly tell the difference and yet here we are lol
I’ve tried the build a case tactic and I always end up with scraps 😭 spent 3 years with a dude while trying to build a case and we BOTH became the toxic gaslighting one lol🤧
Story 1: Definitely a cheater. The change in wanting to only go to her house? The wet condom? Not explaining RIGHT AWAY?? If you KNOW it looks bad wouldn't you be a LITTLE stressed? I'd run. Guy sounds like a sociopath.
8 years isn't weird.... when both people KNOW that it's 8 years (and of course, they're both of legal age). It would definitely be disturbing to discover your significant other is older than you by more than you realized.
Okay but why hasnt he cleaned his floor in six months
I think that if you find out someone you're dating/hooking up with is married and has a family and you tell the spouse then you aren't the one throwing a grenade at the family. You are alerting the family to the bomb that's already been planted in their house. The person who did the cheating is the one that destroyed the family not you
I completely agree with you. If you had no clue this person was married, you too are basically a victim of the cheater. Telling the spouse is the right thing to do in my opinion. Tell the spouse and let them decide what to do with that information.
What he did in the beginning when she found the wrapper and he sat down to talk wasn't honesty - it was skillful manipulation. He has lied before, a lot. When you read that part my blood ran cold: my ex who gaslighted me for 2 years and was cheating and lying about other things behind my back was this smooth and skillful from the very first time I confronted him with suspicions about him going through my phone and laptop.
I hope she ran, and if she sees this now, trust your gut and walk away before you waste years with him. I speak from experience.
All the “best friend betrays OP” stories on Reddit has made me appreciate my best friends even more. And luckily, except for celebrities, my BFFs and I have completely different tastes when it comes to guys.
Okay absolutely LOVE this podcast, feels like I’m with my girlfriends just hanging out ✨ (im in a family of all boys, n im the oldest n don’t really have any girly friends ) soo feels nice listening to real stories about relationships n different life situations that I can very much relate to and just getting that simple feeling of validation from your responses and the comments! Because lemme tell ya It’s hard taking advice in what to do in a relationship from a bunch of boys lol ANYWAYS much love 🤍
With the story about the bf lying about her being his wife. I thought about him cheating and saying to the coworker "I can't divorce my wife, it's too complicated but I love you". Married dudes always play with that.
The revenge discussion was really interesting. Everyone’s personalities are very very different. I am perfectly fine with the revenge idea. Evens it out. If I talk to the person who did me wrong for “closure” would give them closure too. Getting even it closure where it doesn’t feel like neither of us won and neither lost. I don’t care about being the bigger person. Let’s make it even. But to be fair, I don’t really do long term relationships and I’ve never been cheated on. Im aromantic at least at this time in my life 🤷🏻♀️
I cant believe he said he would never manipulate her, he said that TO MANIPULATE HER, but he’s trying to play it smart, I can’t believe people like this can lie so easily, and on top of the expiration date,
Favourite podcast rn and loved Alejandra! ❤️
Thank you, Anna!! :)
You all were talking about the side chick/side piece mentality. The bottom line about it is respect and self respect. Any man who is making you his side piece doesn’t have any REAL respect for you. You don’t respect something you won’t show to the world without any shame or deception and you can’t love someone you don’t respect. He may love the attention and validation and thrill of sneaking around from you but those are things he (or she there is no difference with gender) can get from you and any other rube they fool into playing your game. That isn’t the same as actually loving the fool.
And people who settle for being the side piece, they don’t respect themselves. They tell themselves this is fine, you don’t NEED the commitment or the place in the light next to their AP, they don’t NEED the respect of a full partnership, they try to tell themselves they are somehow better that the naive spouse because he wants or needs you… but you can replace need with DESERVE and it’s closer to the truth and it’s not you he wants, it what he can get from you with minimal effort and total lack of sacrifice. You dnt believe you deserve the whole package or you’d never settle for less. You’re replaceable when you accept less that real partnership. After all, even a cheated on spouse has the respect of society and the dignity of at least having made the vow even if he broke it. A sidepiece is always the homewrecker even if he were to leave his wife and then marry them. Cause they had to sunder something to personally gain and there is no dignity in that.
Lol the reason he wants her to pretend to be his wife is because studies show married men in the work place get promoted and better treatment than non married men. He’s definitely trying to eat his cake while not having to worry about the commit. Which is really messed up. She should cut her losses and run.
I think the exact same
For real. Why would he want to lie and call her his wife but not want to just sign the papers for it or something? Like I understand some people don’t want to get married, but lying about it? It just sounds like he doesn’t want the commitment.
@@Rockinashy Like someone else said, maybe he is already married. So he can't marry his girlfriend and the boss would know that he is married because thats one of the informations you have to give them. So he would know that he is cheating.
@@Shyress yessss but also weren’t they together for like 6 years and lived together? I feel like it would be hard to hide that he has another wife but people do get away with that stuff 👀
I dated a guy like that first guy
He was fucking CRAZY, ruined my life, almost killed me, is a covert narcissist, and would lie just like that and act like a sane person but that cannot be further from the truth. So glad I left and NEVER LOOKED BACK!
He is cheating, men do the deny deny deny thing even if you have all the evidence. Women want to believe and will believe I don’t know why?! Leave him girl a man that can lie to you, look into your eyes and act that way. You aren’t the first not the last. Move on!
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. Trust me