First Sign Your Lover is Controlling

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ม.ค. 2016
  • The first sign that someone is trying to control you is when they isolate you from your friends, says Judge Lynn, and her recommendation is to run.
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ความคิดเห็น • 90

  • @dr.sheilawitherspoon1667
    @dr.sheilawitherspoon1667 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Step 1: Isolation from family and friends.
    Step 2: Purposely sabotaging work obligations: before, during and after.
    Step 3: Put downs. Controlling what you wear, and where you go.
    Next step: Physical, emotional and/or financial abuse.
    When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!

  • @valsoda27
    @valsoda27 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    Run baby Run, you didn't sign up for a Prison Sentence.

    • @ms.gracefullybroken8724
      @ms.gracefullybroken8724 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Val Soda She better get on her bike & pedal like hell to get away from him. He even standing up there looking crazy like “dam the judge is right about me”.

  • @kirbyaugustine761
    @kirbyaugustine761 7 ปีที่แล้ว +223

    Judge Lynn is filled with so much discernment and wisdom. I love some DC

  • @PorgWitch
    @PorgWitch 6 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    My ex told me I was "too nice to people," and he didn't want me to have my own friends, but us to have "our friends" Lynn is right. Red Flag number 1

    • @BIGGOODBOY
      @BIGGOODBOY 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Penny Dreadful too nice to people is something different than having your own friends. My gf used to be too nice to people and she would get taken advantage of. So when I told her that I was just watching out for her

    • @tummieflowers2681
      @tummieflowers2681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I would’ve left him immediately❗️

    • @kenyattabillups4769
      @kenyattabillups4769 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@BIGGOODBOY that's a different scenario.

  • @lov3lynightmar366
    @lov3lynightmar366 6 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    Listen to the judge! I went through this. Dated someone who tried to isolate me not only from my guy friends who ive known for years and they have no interest in me! But also friends that are girls who he thought were all hoes and bad influences for me and my ex said that girls all act the same to their friends so he called me a hoe occasionally too when I had to block my guy friends and rarely hangout with my friends that were girls. It just got more controlling, sexist, and abusive. He said I couldnt walk in my neighborhood because Im a girl and cant protect myself. Just leave if you see signs like this. I stayed for 11 months and lost my self worth

    • @lulurebornbeautyqueen7985
      @lulurebornbeautyqueen7985 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I know your pain Queen

    • @kayhaven4710
      @kayhaven4710 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m glad you’re doing better and got out of that toxic situation!!

    • @elvespresley2282
      @elvespresley2282 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Im not victim blaming but how did you not leave in the first 3 months. You really endure that kind of toxicity for 11 months. Im hope you are feeling okay now.

    • @lov3lynightmar366
      @lov3lynightmar366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@elvespresley2282 well 1. I got into the relay at 17 years old, 2. He was 2 years older than me, 3. He knew exactly how to manipulate me, 4. It was my first serious relationship so I wanted it to work

  • @RobinHood-tc4ln
    @RobinHood-tc4ln 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    That goes the same vice-versa gentleman if you're with a lady that's that controlling you need to leave quickly

  • @BrandonClarke7
    @BrandonClarke7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    This is why I stay single. Relationships are overrated and people just want to come in and treat you any way they want. My sanity and peace of mind is far more precious than me having the ability to say I have someone

    • @Shay4YourMind81
      @Shay4YourMind81 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Brandon the shapeshifter I totally agree 💯

    • @UrbanFlamingo
      @UrbanFlamingo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Brandon the shapeshifter PREACH!!

    • @peacheskong2245
      @peacheskong2245 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You're acting as if these types of things can'thappen in platonic relationships. As if you can't befriend someoen that isolates you from your family, lies about you and to you,, makes you feel like less than etc.

    • @BrandonClarke7
      @BrandonClarke7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@peacheskong2245 i dont have those kinds of friends. and if that was the energy they were throwing at me then, I would happily show them.the door

    • @KARTIKEYA007
      @KARTIKEYA007 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@peacheskong2245 eh no? a person has MANY friends so a friend doesn't really gain precedence over another friend. "Partner" gets prioritized over friends often plus u are supposed to have only one partner so only a partner can really isolate u from your friends.

  • @hess1912
    @hess1912 8 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    and women be controlling to. I learned from the mistake of dating a controlling woman. found out she was cheating on me the whole time....

    • @hess1912
      @hess1912 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      +rahkriga I would agree. They love to sneak into your phone behind your back but get mad when you look in their phone. The truth is controlling women are bullshit and they already be cheating behind our backs. They be trying to cover their own tracks.

    • @shorts26
      @shorts26 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@hess1912 truth

    • @nas19281
      @nas19281 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yes, which is why the title says lover

  • @lelekirkwood4058
    @lelekirkwood4058 8 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    true gotta listen to judge Lynn she be on point 👌

  • @buckwheat_flower
    @buckwheat_flower 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    My ex husband would ask me to cut off my family from my life and when i would contact with them over phone he would ask for screenshots of call logs, to know the call durations, and later started asking me for recordings of those calls.
    Shortly after some time i decided to seperate from him to teach him a lesson, and then later realized he would never change. So i filed for divorce.
    He was also physically abusive. Injured me a couple of times. Publicly humiliated me on several occasions and made me an outcast to my own social circle and extended family - who i was really close to. Restricting my contact with My family was the last straw he shouldn’t have come for.

    • @simpleviewer7445
      @simpleviewer7445 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I wish for you the best. You did right with divorcing such a person. May god open good doors for you. I hope, you can repair the damage with your family and friends.

    • @buckwheat_flower
      @buckwheat_flower 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@simpleviewer7445 thank you. I need lots of prayers and good thoughts.

    • @buckwheat_flower
      @buckwheat_flower 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@kat4691 thank you! I need all the prayers and good wishes.

  • @ST-yc7uj
    @ST-yc7uj 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I see sadness mixed with anger in his eyes.

    • @marymeyers6600
      @marymeyers6600 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I see he doesn't like at all what Judge Toler is saying

    • @Window4503
      @Window4503 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@marymeyers6600 because it means he’s the villain. No one likes to be the villain or see that they’ve become something people should avoid.

    • @ST-yc7uj
      @ST-yc7uj 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@marymeyers6600 where there's sadness, threre's acceptance

  • @dance4life1208
    @dance4life1208 8 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Very Very true..I know from personal experience

  • @michellecollins4301
    @michellecollins4301 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    These words are so true about controlling people..not only in man and woman's relationship but any relationships in life. There are some people who like to have control regardless whether they are wrong. It's their way or the highway ...God's way is not even included in the mist

  • @MistyCunard
    @MistyCunard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is the cold hard truth. I was there in 1998 and it is a horrible situation.

  • @dahna4822
    @dahna4822 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    He is look’n All kinds of guilty & Busted!👀 #theGigIsUp

  • @BibliLit
    @BibliLit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That’s what controlling people do they isolate you 💯👏

  • @johnhoma4304
    @johnhoma4304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She even hit me three times and I lived in fear.

  • @turquoiseheart6320
    @turquoiseheart6320 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you, i needed to hear this and remind myself.

  • @12151ryan
    @12151ryan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    She is amazing! So true.

  • @kasmathhafidhi7451
    @kasmathhafidhi7451 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you judge for your wisdom you are the best

  • @holayou2241
    @holayou2241 ปีที่แล้ว

    He’s like “oh oh, she’s on to me” 😂
    Girl, let that thing go!

  • @Netherwolf6100
    @Netherwolf6100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I will say this, this can go either way. Yes, if you love someone you shouldn't think about controlling them or defining who they associate with. However at the same time, if the person you care for does associate with trash people, truly trash people who are toxic in nature and you don't like the company they keep; *LEAVE* That's it. You are the company you keep and if you have garbage friends, they will corrupt you sooner or later and no one in their right mind should ever look at you; a person with trash friends and say "But they're the good one." No. Never. Don't control the person. Be honest and if they value the negative toxic people in their lives, leave them to the friends.

  • @Ps-tc9ko
    @Ps-tc9ko 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Men and women like this are insidious.. you only notice a pattern after a while when you no longer have friends you use to go out with because your ex use to say 'she said this about me, she said that about me', and you've dumped them. Whilst your ex has made you believe they were making derogatory comments about them and you've felt protective you realise after you've both called it a day that it was them all along..dirty trick but life throws curve balls, you just learn to coordinate them, in tennis if the player has a ball that doesn't have the right bounce it gets bounced right back to the ball girl / boy to be disposed of accordingly🐝Manchester, England

  • @melscrochetcornermore1383
    @melscrochetcornermore1383 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm going through this so i can relate thanks for the info

  • @msdemeanour
    @msdemeanour 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Well said lady! 💁

  • @MotherfuckingDesiree
    @MotherfuckingDesiree 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Look at the way he is looking at the judge. There’s a smile but it’s deadly.

  • @jukeum12
    @jukeum12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    BIG FACTS!💯

  • @tummieflowers2681
    @tummieflowers2681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I HATE CONTROLLING people‼️

    • @Melly16yr10
      @Melly16yr10 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same here

    • @tummieflowers2681
      @tummieflowers2681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Melly16yr10 . They act like they own you. Don’t know their place.

  • @millicenthamilton-kakowski8275
    @millicenthamilton-kakowski8275 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tell him, girl!

  • @marygonzales5957
    @marygonzales5957 ปีที่แล้ว

    Put your running shoes on. Judge seen all kinds . Run and don't look back. No regrets

  • @mwhitehall889
    @mwhitehall889 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    ... on point!

  • @MatrixMaster777
    @MatrixMaster777 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I Am Signing My Name Across Her Heart^^

  • @coolmatrix15
    @coolmatrix15 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Red flag red shirt 👀

  • @chosen573
    @chosen573 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    💜. REAL 👑 TALK .💜

  • @dennisrobinson8008
    @dennisrobinson8008 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    So its her friends controlling her or him controlling her?

  • @FruityHachi
    @FruityHachi 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    his face says “shit, my game is exposed”

  • @Netty4000
    @Netty4000 8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @speakthetruth9628
    @speakthetruth9628 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Its called narsicistic

  • @kristic4472
    @kristic4472 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this goes for guys/men as well, watch out for those controlling, isolating, fake sympathetic women.

  • @godswillm575
    @godswillm575 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Now what to do when all that starts after you get married. Now you are legally and financially tied.

    • @sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040
      @sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Divorce is always an option

    • @godswillm575
      @godswillm575 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 It technically is an option. But you don't know my family culture. Divorce can be worse for some people.

    • @sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040
      @sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@godswillm575 Oh. Anti-divorce culture..?😕

    • @godswillm575
      @godswillm575 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 Yes. And if you still go for it, lifelong gift of insults and blame for all of it and gossip,, leading to the person living in either depression or self isolation for pretty much all their life.

    • @sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040
      @sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@godswillm575 That is awful!! Although I'm pretty sure in my culture(half Indian), divorce has a similar rep. One of the reasons its highly unlikely I'll ever marry. I'd rather be unhappy single than unhappily married.

  • @ahumanlewis4793
    @ahumanlewis4793 ปีที่แล้ว

    He didn't like what the judge had to say. I bet in his head he's thinking "that's why I don't date BW"😂😂😂😂

  • @alexandradelliou
    @alexandradelliou 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    2021: 852

  • @karaokecatlady
    @karaokecatlady 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    🎯👏👏👏👏

  • @johnhoma4304
    @johnhoma4304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your Honor Toler I was married for 5 ugly years. The woman was money hungry which she stole it all. Everything had to be her way or my life was a very bumpy ride. The sex after it can FINALLY happen was even boring.

    • @coolmatrix15
      @coolmatrix15 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hope you're doing better now. I think it's very important for couples to be friends for a good amount of time before they get married so you'll know who they really are.