@@aena5995 I do see what you mean about him seeming ‘psycho’ and particular scenes from the movie flash before my mind... However think back to the near-end scene where the family are video-calling. I don’t know how to say this without spoiling the movie, but I remember the look in the father’s face when his wife happily agrees to Nisha ending her schooling after marriage. This is no way justifies his previous actions, but I did want to point out that his character does more than play an inherent bad guy. This is especially true as the director of this film partially-based the movie on her own story and forgave her father many years later as an adult, although he passed away not long before the film was completed. I believe that she tried to capture some of his human sides also and the word ‘complex’ seems appropriate.
i once read somewhere that if you're being forced to travel somewhere for forced marriage you should put a spoon in your pocket when you go through security and they'll help you
No it's true. The airport security will take you aside to examine you for weapons and stuff with metal detectors, and you can tell them in private that you're being forced to go for this. The security will get the police and look into matters, and protect you (or at least they should... maybe not everywhere?)
As a Desi girl, I can 100% assure you that I've heard those four words ( what will people say ) more in my life than I've heard my parents say I love you to me. And it's just depressing how what society thinks matters so darn much to them and I hope my generation knows better than to treat their children this way.
I understand what your saying. Both my parents and the man I love’s parents do not approve and give us hell. His family is Syrian and mine is french. They both want us to go to our homeland to find our spouses and they say the same every day, no matter what we do. You aren’t aline
the thing is, they don't listen to their heart, they listen to the culture codes first. Parents should always think what would make their kid happy, not what " people will say"...
What about answering "I don't care" and actually not caring? People can live alone, even young people, even female people in young age can well live alone and decide for their own what they care for and what they definitely do NOT care for. You can't extirpate bloody simplemindedness of religious fascists while caring for their ideas in any way. That freedom does not come easy, but it won't come at all as long as You still care the least bit for them.
as a pakistani girl, let me just say that nothing, NOTHING in this movie was exagerated or unrealistic. in fact i think they still toned it down a bit.
I was talking to a boy on the phone at night and I got beaten up really badly for that. It has emotionally scarred me and now I'm scared to talk to anyone in front of my parents. This is low-key relatable and I feel extremely sad.
Oh my god be careful I hope you are safe I know my parents are similar to yours. They over react on everything. Even after marriage they behave like that. I can understand you be safe
Growing up in India inspite of being well groomed n educated family. We girls have always faced it. The prestige of our family is related to our hymen. :)
But sleeping around is the other extreme nd it is not making girls feel any better about themselves. causes a lot of damage to self esteem and wearing out. M not saying we don't have right over our bodies.. just that out bodies are so precious to us that we don't share them with just any random persom
"What will people say" This simple' four words' holds so much strength that it stops many of us from doing/ achieving things that we want to which could be considered taboo by our society, our family. How long it's power over us will last?
yeah this phrase really has the power to drown out a lot of familial ties & even "love". the idea of how society views us is then given so much unnecessary power. SADFACE
It's simple. Don't bother about that phrase. I don't anymore and I'm very happy :) We live only once and we have every right to live a life we want to. Not just to please others.
Rabah Gill: it will end in our generation but it does mean we got to make the sacrifice to either live for or against our parents will... question is which one to chose :( ? Aisha Bhugali: good to know you are living happy. Although I’d like to know did you have to sacrifice your parents for it?
Prasi laa I totally agree with you. But what can we do ? Talk to your parents and they will call it a sin. Some parents dont want to understand it is sad.
People who aren’t Asian and aren’t this cultured are so damn lucky they don’t even understand... these words have impacted so so so many lives and it may be easy to think: just run away it’s your life... but it’s so damn hard. They may be strict but at the end of the day they’re your parents and they still hold this special place in your heart... it’s not easy
Manahil Zahra I feel this so much, if you try to change anything or oppose, you are labelled ungrateful and disrespectful. You try your best to respect your family however somethings are just wrong or different. And other people just cant see that
Why can't people just mind their own business? Why do people think just because they birthed you, now they control everything about your life? It is sickening. I empathize with you. Truly. More power to you. As Oscar Wilde said, 'Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.'
i get what you're saying but it's not the same thing. In the Indian culture girls have to be ' pure ' according to our society's rules. So she is going against that norm. And I think that's what's being highlighted. But yeah i agree about the whole racial thing as well. If it was a movie about a white girl it would be perceived in a racial manner.
Hafizul Yunus a human being is a human being. You can't stop a person from expressing themselves. If you're very incline towards your views, tell me what do think about sex educating the students?
Omg most of Indian girls can relate to this. Our society is so obsessed with the "cultural norms" of what other's would say that the parents are willing to sacrifice their kid's joy over that. Such a disgrace.
@Dark Night1 no its not. The idea does exists however our females dont think like that and even males too. The extremity that you think is from afghanistan not pakistan
*women are considered perverts if they acknowledge their desires but men are considered 'MORE MEN" when they do the same. Sick of this never ending double standards* btw Adil Hussain is a wonderful wise actor..I know this movie would be good because of him
hamaid khan im sorry but thats disgusting. I dont mean to be rude im sure there are fantastic things in your culture but what you are talking about is just awful and really lets me down about society...
Men are more men to do the same... Lol. Those percentage of men is barely 1%. And everyone knows it's very difficult for a decent man (not talking about playboys) to sleep with women than the other way around.
I don't get why people act irrationally over a woman and a man attracted to each other. It's not a disease people it happens to everyone regardless of their nationality, culture, religion,etc
Fabi Mohamed they're scared that if us girls lose our virginity before marriage then we are impure foul beings who wants pleasure from intercourse. But the truth is when most women give their virginity to a man it is symbol that she loves him more than her own life and they share a unique bond of love, trust and understanding. Not just for pleasure, which the older generations must understand before they beat us and punish us.
Gowri Haridas not necessarily. Meaningless sex is common these days, and it's seen as normal. But it's a sin. Parents r scared 4 their children, 4 the afterlife. To the parent's kid, this love may feel special but in the parent's eyes, it's seen as a sin
I was so afraid she'd actually take her own life because of how traumatised she was from all the gaslighting. The ending gave me hope and I'm so happy on the director's part. However horrible and painful her journey was, she stood firm and didn't once say she was wrong because she was not. I hope this movie gives some hope to the viewers who may be going through the same thing. It is not the end of your life. You can make a new life and please stay strong.
She was wrong. Trying to have physical contact before marriage, which is a sin. Which may be normal for u guys. That's the only thing she did wrong, nothing else.
@music_movies-z7l it's her choice that who she wants to marry. It's her choice that when she wants to have physical contact but before marriage is a sin. That's not love if she wants a physical contact for fun.
I watched about half of it and it was so depressing and sad. I busted wished I could grab her and pull her out of the screen to hug her. The most heartbreaking scene was when her father wanted her to jump.
Oh My God I was crying during that scene!!(I just saw the movie).Honestly, I would've just jumped off if my father told me to do it to make him realise how it actually feels:((
@ifyouwantbochin they "use" religion for their own perceptions.. every religion teach us to repent and keep away from things regarded as sins... its really easy in these countries to especially keep away from physical involvment before marriage... but those who deviate are obviously judged and its quite normal... but in west its normal for teens to have bf/gf so it becomes difficult for Asians living in west may be to keep away from what thier parents were away from... So its more cultural than religious..
ifyouwantbochin why religion Islam include with this movie? Are you really don't know that there are not just Islam who forced their children to not fulfill their dreams. Some of Christian,Buddha and Hindu have forced parents...I'm a Muslim and my parents don't act like this in this trailer and lastly please DON'T leave bad vibe to our religion Islam. Islam is not a strict religion like you guys think and also Islam is NOT a terrorist.Hope you guys understand that😊
As a arabic muslim girl , i can tell you that all of this is realistic and hapenning in our society , and many girls were killed or abused or forced to marriage just bc they talk with a man .. my familly also will do the same to me if they know my secrets ..
yeah it really sucks. i don’t even risk it, i don’t talk to anyone or ever had a relationship. i choose to be such a loser, i have no friends no one to go out with , no one likes me , idc anymore if i look unappealing i don’t even take pictures or anything so that’s why i don’t really have secrets never hooked up kissed or done anything with a boy i just live in despair and waiting for one day to live my life
@Akshay 786 the problem is not in islam , islam is a relegion of peace and allah(god) didn't say to kill someon if they fall in love. the broblem is in the cultures ,old hindu peaple also is the same , and christian in old times , and jews , fear and violence doesn't come from the relegion , the problem is in the people .
I think many can relate to this problem, even us russian people. Not to this degree but still, the parents want you to maintain the same way as if you were growing in Russia, but you were born in another country. Just an example sadly theres a lot more.
As a Desi girl i heard these words so many times in my life ,i can't even count....but now i m making sure that my little girl will not hear these four words ever in her life,thats my goal to make her life so beautiful.
This is the reason, most women want to go to western countries. This is the reason , that they want to study hard and be independent. Parents think they have given their daughter full freedom to education,but tie them that you are not allowed to do anything else. I too thought wow my parents have given so much freedom to me, until it was the right to choose who will I share bed with. I never made boyfriend fearing what will people say and when now I am going to be 30 and I keep rejecting guy, now they say why you did not meet someone in college or office. Hypocrisy.
To all the people trash talking about the film and to even those that do want to watch it: this film is about the dichotomy of what it is like to live as an immigrant child; trying to assimilate into the new culture you might have been brought to or grown up in yet trying to maintain the traditional values of your parents' culture. It is an amazing film directed by a female director that I hope everyone will give it a chance. I watched the film at TIFF last year and I've been dying to watch it again. As a child of immigrant parents, I resonated with it a lot. It's a beautiful story through and through. As a film student, I put this as one of my favourite films of 2017 if not of all time.
I feel the same way. I watched the trailer and I felt exactly like her. Being a child of immigrant parents, there is so much internal conflict I experience between the culture of my parents and the one I have grown up in. When she said, 'Im here to learn about my parents culture' and got the answer 'Not your parents culture, your culture' it hit me so hard.
I'm so sorry for all Indian or Pakistan girls that have to go through this shit, this trailer broke my heart I don't know if I can handle the whole movie, I've watched a movie called "noces" and it was exactly the same situation but the only difference is that it was a true story and the girl ended up dying😞, I wish I can be of any help or if only there was a way to change those people's mentality
G. Aloysie Its the same for boys to as everyone in the comments said but the difference Alot of the boys r forgiven bcz they're a MALE figure BreadEarner will learn from mistakes soon its every every few boys tht go through tht same thing as the girl shown in this movie.
It's really heart breaking how so many desi girls relate to this. It shouldn't be relatable because it shouldn't be happening... but it's happening. If you force your children into doing something they don't want you will lose them and they will forget what it was like to smile or feel joy. Someone who forgets happiness will expect sadness and grief and they are exposed to that and endure that their entire life, they are sure to tolerate abuse from they're spouse/in laws and more.
trust me, you're not the only one. but don't let the fear of what other people will say from achieving your dreams. respect your parents, but don't worry about others :)
This sentence is hateful ok any language i'm from Brasil in here would be "O que as pessoas dirão" and awful in the same way😔😔 I think we all listened this at least 100 times a year
As a man of 18 years old, I've immense respect for girls and women who stand up to the force, despite the overwhelming pressure given to them by their parents, relative and society. As someone like me who was in a similar situation, I know how exhilarating it feels to get out of the custom and rituals, of religion and society, and how liberating it feels to draw a clear line between them and live a life, of your morals, and of your choice. To all the women, children, and men out there, I just want to wish you all the best, and pray for you, for your success, to find yourself, who you are.
I have just seen the trailer and reading comments. Do I really need to watch this? It seems like every single girl seeing herself on screen and reliving the pain.
That helplessness when she is taken to Pakistan, i felt it soo much as I went through a similar situation. Even though she loves her parents and wants be live with them so badly, “what will people think” comes in the way. I think this movie has spoken to many south Asian girls hearts
When they know that the girl has a boyfriend it's like the end of the world. She is labeled bad. Almost every friends in my class who are dating are secretly doing it. Cause if their parents or our teachers know this. RIP
Sobbing into a world that cannot absorb any more tears from us. This didn't even cover the have of it, but the fact that this movie even exists is a leap for us. God Bless this whole team.
That passport burning shot is sick. Don't migrate to a country for safety or 'better quality of life' if you cannot embrace their culture and their people. I'm saying this as a child of Filipino immigrants who was born and raised in Australia.
I watched the film at TIFF 2017 and that is not the reason why the passport was burning. I'm sorry if it was a spolier but I loved this film and I can't wait for a lot more people to enjoy it. This film is amazing and I've been dying to watch it again.
Ummm the passport is being burned to stop her from leaving the country she has been put in? Don't come to stupid conclusions if you haven't seen it. Also migrating to another country doesn't mean they have to adopt their culture. There is difference between respecting and accepting it. you can respect another culture while still holding onto your roots.
Shehrin Newaz My family adopted the culture that had given them the opportunities for a better life. That doesn’t mean they erased their Filipino roots from us. We speak the language, we talk about the events in the Philippines, we eat and cook Filipino food and visit family there annually. If a country provides for you, especially given mine wherein we have free healthcare, anti-discrimination laws and a pretty good economy, you can’t just move here to enjoy what pleases you and refuse to adopt our culture. I haven’t seen the film, but forcing someone to stay within a country by removing their ability to exit is abuse. No other angle to it besides limiting freedom.
This shit is my worst nightmare, made all the worse since I'm gay. Hopefully I'll move out of my parents house in a couple months and won't have to worry about this happening to me anymore.
This movie is really relatable - especially to many Asian girls. It's the pressure of the society that kills them and tears many families apart. I have watched it and it's a 8/10! Recommend everyone to watch this movie.
the funny part is that in the end both homosexuality and heterosexuality is looked down upon . also guys give this movie a chance , i just watched it and it was so .. i want to say beautiful but it was actually quite realistic and showed the sad truth about how people still suffer because of their narrow minds and make the ones around them suffer as well .
Yes it's jarring seeing a realistic not happy go lucky/romcom type desi movie. So close to home. Even though my parents aren't this bad I know they could easily have been. Im just fortunate they are on the milder end of the spectrum. It's funny that many people think it's about her having a boyfriend. She wasn't in love, just exploring her budding sexuality. Part of her natural biological drive. Course everyone has their own needs. She was obviously someone who needed and craved physical attention (from a safe and trusted partner.) maybe when she's older she won't be this fazed. Just part of the learning experience. But being desi might as well cut out ovaries and keep it in the bank until you're with your assigned stranger with whom you can now turn it on and go go go till death lol
ArtistProtagonist I think it’s because it was created by a Norwegian Pakistani woman instead of a purr Pakistani. The place meant to be Pakistan was my even shot there, it was shot in India. Pakistan probably wound have released th movie there.
Damn! Made me cry a little...My father said to me that i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend even tho i'm 20 years old, he even said that he and my rest of the family members will disown me and will never contact me again if i married someone of my choice..this is so sad. I want to have a happy love, even though i don't have a boyfriend i really want to fall in love and not spend my life in loveless marriages with a guy chosen by my parents☺ My father even said to me that he doesn't like it when i talk to boys or do a handshake with them, due to this reason i don't even feel any attraction to boys on street or in my class..i wonder if i'm asexual😑 I on the other hand think that people should fall in love, it's only natural to be attracted to opposite gender.
@@rajeevchauhan1821 i didn't. I always kept myself busy in world of movies and anime. I had a crush on few boys before but i'm the type of person who doesn't say anything to the person i like.
@@mariamhussein3263 Sorry only seeing this now... Cheers! She's great, have to check out more of her stuff. Her cover of Massive Attacks "Teardrop" is mind blowing! Check it out!
This happening to me right now. A few months ago I told my parents that I want a boyfriend and fall in love, that I want to go to parties and drink and wear what I want. Just be free. My parents started yelling at me saying that I was a bad girl and I would put shame on our family if I did such things. They don’t even let me have guy friends. They said it was different for boys as the Quran says they are allowed to and quote ‘can’t get pregnant’. They said right after I finish university they would marry me off. I hate it. I feel trapped and unable to live my life. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for any girl going through what I’m going through or worse. This world is so cruel.
People use religion to impose their own agendas. While you must live by their ideals as long as you are dependent on them, don't make the mistake of leaving your country or marrying someone. Contact the police if you have to
Lilly .p I hope you get free and can cut those toxic parents out of your life. Be careful and safe but don't allow someone to rule your relationships or future.
lily. P I can clearly understand your situation. There is nothing wrong with your demands . I'd rather term it as ages demand. Your parents being protective about you is also normal . But the thing is that there's no such thing in the Qur'an as ; males can do whatever whenever wherever they want just because they can't get pregnant or something. ..... If your parents told you this then they made a big mistake. it's never fair to adopt and divert religious beliefs as a mean to establish personal interest . the Holy Qur'an doesn't dustinguish gender . The obligation regarding decency applies to all equally, but no one is forced to it . And it's up to you whether you choose to follow it in your or not
@Aryan Kapoor why is it wrong to wear shorts or go to parties? It's true that harassment can happen while drinking but it's also true that sexual harassment happens less frequently in western countries compared to South Asian and Middle Eastern countries in spite of the fact that women can dress provocatively and can drink and go to parties. Traditions aren't always right and if a woman wants to live her life like that she has all the rights to do so.
It was so authentic and depressing at the same time. The scene where her father spits on her was the most humiliating thing anybody could do to someone and being his daughter she had to go through extremes for being a normal girl. Whenever something disturbing appeared on screen, i fast forwarded it because i couldn't see that much humiliation and intimidation. It was just sad and true.
Reading these comments made me appreciate my parents soooo much, even thought they are reserved people they still allow us to have a life, an experience. They might disapprove, but they never cross a line.
When I told my parents I don't want to get married,I don't think I can deal with the roller coaster ride...they said the same thing...what will people say... When I saw the title it just came to my mind and made me sad...even though it happened few years back I hope I will be a good parent to my future kids if I have.
My parents has always been supportive of me having a relationship. My mother once said to me if by any chance you become pregnant just don't be afraid, come to me we will talk and figure it out together. Well her fears were not to be because I am really careful about sex and partners in general because I don't want kids or transmitted deseases. But it really made me more confident in my life and sexuality.
U. G. You could have a talk with them and explaining that you love them and you respect them but your body is your own. You will be careful with the persons you will be having sex with but that sex doesn't doesn't define your person nor your value to someone. That you value yourself and that is more important than anything.
My late mum cared more about what ppl would say & think than her own children. The irony is that the ppl she cared or worried about are the ones who've actually made something of their lives & their children's because they've never bothered what anyone cares or thinks! I just wish my mum could've been more loving & supportive
My heart goes out to everyone relating to the movie in the comment section. I have been in situations of gender bias and sexism but never to such an extent. I believe even though I have had my own struggles, I am lucky to have my parents who do not force me into things. I promise if I am ever in a position to change such toxicity around me, I will. I hope God gives you grace and courage to get through everything. If you do not believe in God, I hope and pray you find such power within yourself. Love to all you ladies out there. Love to anybody else who needs to read this. You can and you will get through. Stay strong.
As an Indian girl living in America I’m so happy my parents didn’t react like this when I told them I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend’s Korean and we met at college and both my parents love him and have no problem with me being with him. My mom is definitely very liberal minded and has even helped me get birth control because she knows that the culture is different here and that I’m not a “traditional Indian girl”. She knows that living in a different country is going to have different norms and thus has allowed me many freedoms that I’m grateful for. Not every family is like the one portrayed in the movie.
I just finished watching this master piece on Netflix and I have to admit that this is probably one of the most BRILLIANT films ever made!! Each character is laced with such intricate details that the audience can't help but watch in awe! 👍❤️
wow dont include all of india because your one gf's parents aren't like that? unfortunately, not many others can say they have the same luxury in south asian families (and YES that still includes india).
YuGa !!! No one disobeyed Allah! Our religion allow us to be independent! If anyone force us obey Allah , Allah won’t accept that IBADAT! IBADAT has to come from heart not force!
proud plebian why so lame? Learn to reap others! I didn’t said any negative thing about indians ! Indians are good people, not all of them but they are good! I have visited India several times
I saw this movie in Norway when it came out last year. It was heartbreaking to watch. Right after I saw the movie I learned that it was based on a true story.
This trailer makes me sick! It reminds me of my parents and how strict our culture is. I really hope it portrayed the right way. That it is a normal thing to go out with someone.
YAAAS I was waiting for someone to write this comment!!! When I heard the tune I was like hang on a sec...and then when the song started i was like yaaay
This behaviour by parents is absolutely wrong. It is a complete lack of awareness, self awareness and only driven by what other people think of them. Which means it's driven by fear, not love. This was very triggering and I am so grateful I had no fear of experiencing something like this.
as an Indian girl who grew up in western society, my life is the same, I always hear adults say "what will people say" and I think its time we stopped forcing old cultural rules so much and try to adapt to the new customs and norms.
No need to adopt to any norms sister. It’s your life, make it clear. I live in india and I have made it clear to my parents and they are okay with it although I am a guy so I am probably speaking from a position of privilege in our society
A girl's freedom is still now controlled by the society first, then her parents & at the end of the day she's given a choice. This picture gave me goosebumps as it felt so realistic, connecting & heart breaking at the same time...Wheather it's Pakistan or India or any other country with the same cultural background & ethics you'll find a NISHA.... P.S.- This movie gave justice to itself in every way possible....
I don't think people outside South Asia will ever know just how much impact these four words have in our lives, especially those of young girls. So many dreams, hopes and happiness have been destroyed because of the weight of these four words.
This movie is based on the director’s life and if you read her interviews, she did run away and got estranged from her family. She only spoke to them after years once she found out that her dad was dying.
it took me so long to find this film online and i didnt give up because you can just tell how good it will be by the trailer. best film ive ever watched!! my God i have never felt such a range of emotions from just one film!!! defo recommend
I am so sorry. This reminded me of something I have buried within me. Everything that's shown here is true. It is true. Trust me. You can make fun of feminism or women wanting to be treated equally on the internet behind your computer screen, but you can not deny this happens in my country which I have seen first hand. And it angers me so much when you paint the world around your first world priviledge while people in countries like mine get treated worse than this.
I'm a Muslim Pakistani woman. I was in college when I met a guy and at this point my religion wasn't important to me. I would do whatever I wanted (except for drugs/alcohol). So I would sneak out with this guy, but I didn't have the intention of being with someone for some kind of a fling or a one night stand. I wanted a permanent relationship with who I met, but I was also sneaking around behind my parents backs. Now, when they found out about what I was up to, sure I definitely got the threats and the curses and the horrible treatments, but I remembered that my parents aren't from here. They don't understand this life just like I didn't understand their mindset. This doesn't mean they're stupid or they don't want what's best for me. As a child I was foolish for not communicating with them. So, one day i ran away and came back home and my mother was crying and begging me to stay home. She said she missed me and she just wanted to see what I wanted. I spoke to her and I spoke to my family and I made it extremely clear to the guy I was meeting that I'm not playing any games and that I am looking to marry you. At this point, he had already converted to islam and really loved the religion. He understood it well and found it to be best for him. We spoke to my parents and he came dressed well for our marriage. We married young and we've been together for 5 years now. He still takes care of me and he's there for me. He does chores around the house and cooks etc. My parents are happy that I explained the conditions to them and they treat him like their own son. They like him better than their own sons. The girl in this movie is not communicating with her family and her family wasn't speaking clearly with her. Also, Pakistanis are usually very Islamic and the girl should've taken that Into consideration too before she did what she did. Clearly, her running off just to be intimate with random dudes didn't work out for her in the past so why would it anymore? This doesnt happen to every girl btw. My situation was difficult, but I handled it like an adult. Just because you think that your lifestyle is the correct one doesn't mean others don't think theirs is correct. My parents love me so much that they cut off the evil people who judged my husband and me. Not every situation is as intense as this one. Also, Pakistan is beautiful and not as barbaric as they showed in this movie. Don't get your information and facts from movies. No one gets actual facts from movies.
Pakistan is a barbaric place filled with terrorists and Islamists. The west should ban immigrants from muslim nations till they fix their human rights issues.
This is a brilliant film and I am pleased to say I met the father in the film, the actor Adil Hussein. He is a kind and humble man. I met him at a friend’s birthday. I nearly fainted when he told me he had just finished ENGLISH VINGLISH and LIFE OF PI. He is very talented actor and had lost weight for a new role so I did not recognise him. This is an excellent, hard-hitting film.
some people say the police scene in this movie was unrealistic but if you live in Pakistan/India you know damn well that the police here are perfectly capable of that kind of cruelty
I hope everyone who's feeling suffocated with those 4 words find their happiness. If your parents say that, dont give in to it. Please dont. You have one life and you cant waste that for the society. Live your life. Sometimes even in family, there needs to be boundaries you need to set.
Honestly, it makes me so sad that people are so concerned about what others will think. Screw them. Forget them. Are they going to cry with you when you're sad that you lost someone you love because of society? Are they going to pay your loans from studying a subject that you never liked? Are they going to help you start that business you always wanted to begin? No. No. And no. So forget them. Life is so short to live it by other people's standards. I wish all parents would understand that.
I just promise myself whenever I'll have my kid one thing I will never say is what will people say I won't let my insecurities overpower my child's dreams and freedom
Don’t stop your life from living don’t worry about what will anyone will say? They will not give you help when you need. Don’t let anyone steal Your joy
I can totally relate to this. Not that I've experienced something like this. I live inna community ( Indian ) with rich and literate people around. They have modern day thoughts and beliefs. But when it comes to love , life is shitty. My parents have been begging to me ..go get a man . They are cool. Real cool. My relatives / neighbors be like don't talk to guys ! They keep on influencing my parents decisions. And it's sick .
As an woman who has experienced this myself , I confirm nothing is exaggerated. The struggle to live in that society is real. People are really narrow minded and will judge you even for drying your underwear in the front lawn...
This statement of WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY has shattered so many dreams and ideas and life.
I’ll never utter these words to my children. Ever
So truee
Can't agree more
Yeah🥺😑
To some it's even a life Motto lol
Everytime a parent says “what will people say?” a star falls from the sky
Irrelevant Kiwi I agree and i like your username...
...and an iceberg melts...
If that's the case there would've been no stars in the universe 😂
It's going to be a pretty dark night
Oh my
"I only want whats best for you"- I think he was talking to himself
True bro
I'm so glad they put that in the trailer though, it really shows that these people actually believe they are doing the right thing. It's insane.
I totally get what you mean, however when you see the full film you see that the father in this movie is a complex character
@@yonnouahnkim946 i saw the film but he seemed like a psycho like most pakistsni fathers to me lmao
@@aena5995 I do see what you mean about him seeming ‘psycho’ and particular scenes from the movie flash before my mind... However think back to the near-end scene where the family are video-calling. I don’t know how to say this without spoiling the movie, but I remember the look in the father’s face when his wife happily agrees to Nisha ending her schooling after marriage. This is no way justifies his previous actions, but I did want to point out that his character does more than play an inherent bad guy.
This is especially true as the director of this film partially-based the movie on her own story and forgave her father many years later as an adult, although he passed away not long before the film was completed. I believe that she tried to capture some of his human sides also and the word ‘complex’ seems appropriate.
i once read somewhere that if you're being forced to travel somewhere for forced marriage you should put a spoon in your pocket when you go through security and they'll help you
Um that doesn't sound reasonable at all...
No it's true. The airport security will take you aside to examine you for weapons and stuff with metal detectors, and you can tell them in private that you're being forced to go for this. The security will get the police and look into matters, and protect you (or at least they should... maybe not everywhere?)
True and if they found out you are in trouble or danger they will help you
Thanks for sharing that!
Good tip to share
As a Desi girl, I can 100% assure you that I've heard those four words ( what will people say ) more in my life than I've heard my parents say I love you to me. And it's just depressing how what society thinks matters so darn much to them and I hope my generation knows better than to treat their children this way.
I understand what your saying. Both my parents and the man I love’s parents do not approve and give us hell. His family is Syrian and mine is french. They both want us to go to our homeland to find our spouses and they say the same every day, no matter what we do. You aren’t aline
the thing is, they don't listen to their heart, they listen to the culture codes first. Parents should always think what would make their kid happy, not what " people will say"...
Log kya kahenge
what will people say is the biggest quote by all Asian parents.
What about answering "I don't care" and actually not caring?
People can live alone, even young people, even female people in young age can well live alone and decide for their own what they care for and what they definitely do NOT care for.
You can't extirpate bloody simplemindedness of religious fascists while caring for their ideas in any way.
That freedom does not come easy, but it won't come at all as long as You still care the least bit for them.
as a pakistani girl, let me just say that nothing, NOTHING in this movie was exagerated or unrealistic. in fact i think they still toned it down a bit.
Oh my god...... I am sorry for you , Without Love, without compassion, without freedom.
I hope you are able to escape or atlesst break the cycle sister.
It's a problem spread through South Asia.. all over the subcontinental peninsula . It's saddened how people support this in the name of honour
You are absolutely correct. Log kya kahenge matters too much in Pakistani.
I wanna ask so much about it, omg how is this true, are you not allowed of hookups or anything, what is allowed omg that looks like prison
The "WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY" syndrome has done much greater damage to dreams, personality and our society.
nothing's ever hit me as hard as this particular sentence right here. so. true.
@@XOXO-tw1mw if u are any kind of asian....u will have heard these words all ur life...very sad
@@tazb1110 true 😢
I was talking to a boy on the phone at night and I got beaten up really badly for that. It has emotionally scarred me and now I'm scared to talk to anyone in front of my parents. This is low-key relatable and I feel extremely sad.
Oh my god be careful I hope you are safe
I know my parents are similar to yours. They over react on everything. Even after marriage they behave like that. I can understand you be safe
that's not okay ! girl I hope you're doing better now
Same with me I was called a randi for that by my dad . .. and I'm still a virgin
i understand you. happened to me also. just told hi to a guy. they thrashed me the whole night. i am so scared of talking to guys now.
Abusive parents. Indian parents are best. 😁😁
Growing up in India inspite of being well groomed n educated family. We girls have always faced it. The prestige of our family is related to our hymen. :)
whether that's true or not better keep your hymen. Cause otherwise guys will reject you if you have a past?
@@artisticminds4337 HERE I WOULD SAY BOTH SHOULD BE LOYAL
thats well said
But sleeping around is the other extreme nd it is not making girls feel any better about themselves. causes a lot of damage to self esteem and wearing out. M not saying we don't have right over our bodies.. just that out bodies are so precious to us that we don't share them with just any random persom
We and our culture needs to evolve
"What will people say"
This simple' four words' holds so much strength that it stops many of us from doing/ achieving things that we want to which could be considered taboo by our society, our family.
How long it's power over us will last?
yeah this phrase really has the power to drown out a lot of familial ties & even "love". the idea of how society views us is then given so much unnecessary power. SADFACE
Prasi laa That's so True .. It will end only by our generation
It's simple. Don't bother about that phrase. I don't anymore and I'm very happy :)
We live only once and we have every right to live a life we want to. Not just to please others.
Rabah Gill: it will end in our generation but it does mean we got to make the sacrifice to either live for or against our parents will... question is which one to chose :( ?
Aisha Bhugali: good to know you are living happy. Although I’d like to know did you have to sacrifice your parents for it?
Prasi laa
I totally agree with you. But what can we do ? Talk to your parents and they will call it a sin. Some parents dont want to understand it is sad.
It's always "what will people say" when it should be "how will my child feel"
People who aren’t Asian and aren’t this cultured are so damn lucky they don’t even understand... these words have impacted so so so many lives and it may be easy to think: just run away it’s your life... but it’s so damn hard. They may be strict but at the end of the day they’re your parents and they still hold this special place in your heart... it’s not easy
Manahil Zahra I feel this so much, if you try to change anything or oppose, you are labelled ungrateful and disrespectful. You try your best to respect your family however somethings are just wrong or different. And other people just cant see that
Ohh this happens in many African countries too it's just decreasing and being shamed. The what will people say is a very strong reality here
What you said was so true. Sooo many lives are just ruined because of this ideology and there is NOTHING we can do about it
So true
it's part of growing up. our parents are just our excuse. i know it's hard but it's necessary. it's our lives not our parents'
This is my story too. But I'm a black brazilian girl and my boyfriend is korean. We've been through a lot of things to be together.
I wish you two all the best
Isabella Shakur your last name sounds muslim?
Why can't people just mind their own business? Why do people think just because they birthed you, now they control everything about your life? It is sickening. I empathize with you. Truly. More power to you. As Oscar Wilde said, 'Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.'
I wish u all the best ☺
There's a book that's almost similar to you, :A sun is also a star". It's the writers life written in a story.
A sad reality for a lot of women but not all women. We must unite and fight against these oppressions.
i get what you're saying but it's not the same thing. In the Indian culture girls have to be ' pure ' according to our society's rules. So she is going against that norm. And I think that's what's being highlighted. But yeah i agree about the whole racial thing as well. If it was a movie about a white girl it would be perceived in a racial manner.
what opression? IDK misconduct and being sluts are considered as opressions
Hafizul Yunus yeah that's what true Oppression of Women looks like but sadly most people refuse to see it that way.... Especially Women themselves..
lily Pie most Eastern women
Hafizul Yunus a human being is a human being. You can't stop a person from expressing themselves. If you're very incline towards your views, tell me what do think about sex educating the students?
Omg most of Indian girls can relate to this. Our society is so obsessed with the "cultural norms" of what other's would say that the parents are willing to sacrifice their kid's joy over that. Such a disgrace.
I don't think it's that extreme in India but yes, it still exists.
@@jimhalpert3269 exactly. Your statement is right. It's not that extreme but it yeah it exists.
@Dark Night1 no its not. The idea does exists however our females dont think like that and even males too. The extremity that you think is from afghanistan not pakistan
i think this shows pakistani society
it dosent happen in India at this level yes it happens here but very much beter than what shows in this clip
It is a disgrace! You're right.
*women are considered perverts if they acknowledge their desires but men are considered 'MORE MEN" when they do the same. Sick of this never ending double standards*
btw Adil Hussain is a wonderful wise actor..I know this movie would be good because of him
hamaid khan im sorry but thats disgusting. I dont mean to be rude im sure there are fantastic things in your culture but what you are talking about is just awful and really lets me down about society...
Men are more men to do the same... Lol. Those percentage of men is barely 1%. And everyone knows it's very difficult for a decent man (not talking about playboys) to sleep with women than the other way around.
Nope
I don't think men are considered 'MORE MEN' when they does such a sin in my culture .
You forgot the part where those men are considered as players to women and those women as being liberated.
I don't get why people act irrationally over a woman and a man attracted to each other. It's not a disease people it happens to everyone regardless of their nationality, culture, religion,etc
Fabi Mohamed they're scared that if us girls lose our virginity before marriage then we are impure foul beings who wants pleasure from intercourse. But the truth is when most women give their virginity to a man it is symbol that she loves him more than her own life and they share a unique bond of love, trust and understanding. Not just for pleasure, which the older generations must understand before they beat us and punish us.
Gowri Haridas exactly. These people are still stuck in their ridiculous norms without actually thinking it through using common sense
Gowri Haridas not necessarily. Meaningless sex is common these days, and it's seen as normal. But it's a sin. Parents r scared 4 their children, 4 the afterlife. To the parent's kid, this love may feel special but in the parent's eyes, it's seen as a sin
Exactly!!!
Gowri Haridas I see what your saying but it seems like they r using their cultural/religious views to suppress women
I was so afraid she'd actually take her own life because of how traumatised she was from all the gaslighting. The ending gave me hope and I'm so happy on the director's part. However horrible and painful her journey was, she stood firm and didn't once say she was wrong because she was not. I hope this movie gives some hope to the viewers who may be going through the same thing. It is not the end of your life. You can make a new life and please stay strong.
She was wrong
@@geishaalpha5163 be a troll somewhere else
She was wrong. Trying to have physical contact before marriage, which is a sin. Which may be normal for u guys. That's the only thing she did wrong, nothing else.
@music_movies-z7l it's her choice that who she wants to marry. It's her choice that when she wants to have physical contact but before marriage is a sin. That's not love if she wants a physical contact for fun.
@@need_more_coffee8487dude mind your own business ok, it's her life her choice, no one wants to be controlled...
I watched about half of it and it was so depressing and sad. I busted wished I could grab her and pull her out of the screen to hug her. The most heartbreaking scene was when her father wanted her to jump.
Oh My God I was crying during that scene!!(I just saw the movie).Honestly, I would've just jumped off if my father told me to do it to make him realise how it actually feels:((
@@suhahahani exactly..she is very strong and brave...I would have suicided right infront of his eyes
But i am happy she didn't, how she pulled herself back, I'm so happy she survived, she could have a good future instead of no future
Her dad ruined her life:/ because other people told him to
That’s brown dads for you, in their defence tho they’re just getting back at you for being born a girl. 🤷🏽♀️
@ifyouwantbochin there is no hint of religion in this movie.. 🙂 its very common in asian countries
@ifyouwantbochin they "use" religion for their own perceptions.. every religion teach us to repent and keep away from things regarded as sins... its really easy in these countries to especially keep away from physical involvment before marriage... but those who deviate are obviously judged and its quite normal... but in west its normal for teens to have bf/gf so it becomes difficult for Asians living in west may be to keep away from what thier parents were away from...
So its more cultural than religious..
@ifyouwantbochin its only an opinion.. but the practicality differs in every part of the world..
ifyouwantbochin why religion Islam include with this movie? Are you really don't know that there are not just Islam who forced their children to not fulfill their dreams. Some of Christian,Buddha and Hindu have forced parents...I'm a Muslim and my parents don't act like this in this trailer and lastly please DON'T leave bad vibe to our religion Islam. Islam is not a strict religion like you guys think and also Islam is NOT a terrorist.Hope you guys understand that😊
As a arabic muslim girl , i can tell you that all of this is realistic and hapenning in our society , and many girls were killed or abused or forced to marriage just bc they talk with a man .. my familly also will do the same to me if they know my secrets ..
yeah it really sucks. i don’t even risk it, i don’t talk to anyone or ever had a relationship. i choose to be such a loser, i have no friends no one to go out with , no one likes me , idc anymore if i look unappealing i don’t even take pictures or anything so that’s why i don’t really have secrets never hooked up kissed or done anything with a boy i just live in despair and waiting for one day to live my life
@j'r Asmae omg please be safe!!!
@Akshay 786 the problem is not in islam , islam is a relegion of peace and allah(god) didn't say to kill someon if they fall in love. the broblem is in the cultures ,old hindu peaple also is the same , and christian in old times , and jews , fear and violence doesn't come from the relegion , the problem is in the people .
@@noneofurbusiness7501 How old are you, ma'am?
@@oinddrila i’m 21
Has a child in Norway ...doesn’t like how child is not traditional enough
its so fucked up
It’s in Norway if you didn’t noticed them not speaking english at all?
A Johnson fixed
I think many can relate to this problem, even us russian people. Not to this degree but still, the parents want you to maintain the same way as if you were growing in Russia, but you were born in another country. Just an example sadly theres a lot more.
**surprised pikachu**
As a Desi girl i heard these words so many times in my life ,i can't even count....but now i m making sure that my little girl will not hear these four words ever in her life,thats my goal to make her life so beautiful.
I'm a stranger and I really don't totally understand your culture, but your little girl is very lucky to have you as her Mother.
I have broken the cycle too. I don’t ever remember saying something like that to my own daughter. More likely to say... F@#£& people.. 😀😂
Most Westerners do have standards as well for their children, believe it or not. But we don't usually threaten them if they have other ideas.
This is the reason, most women want to go to western countries. This is the reason , that they want to study hard and be independent. Parents think they have given their daughter full freedom to education,but tie them that you are not allowed to do anything else. I too thought wow my parents have given so much freedom to me, until it was the right to choose who will I share bed with. I never made boyfriend fearing what will people say and when now I am going to be 30 and I keep rejecting guy, now they say why you did not meet someone in college or office. Hypocrisy.
OMGGG SAMEEE GIRL,😭😭😭
Me too!!!
Yes...same here, but finally I found someone and I told my parents about us.firstly they angry but now everything is fine
soooo true...
Ohh god!! I can see my future in this comment 🥺
To all the people trash talking about the film and to even those that do want to watch it: this film is about the dichotomy of what it is like to live as an immigrant child; trying to assimilate into the new culture you might have been brought to or grown up in yet trying to maintain the traditional values of your parents' culture.
It is an amazing film directed by a female director that I hope everyone will give it a chance.
I watched the film at TIFF last year and I've been dying to watch it again. As a child of immigrant parents, I resonated with it a lot. It's a beautiful story through and through. As a film student, I put this as one of my favourite films of 2017 if not of all time.
I feel the same way. I watched the trailer and I felt exactly like her. Being a child of immigrant parents, there is so much internal conflict I experience between the culture of my parents and the one I have grown up in. When she said, 'Im here to learn about my parents culture' and got the answer 'Not your parents culture, your culture' it hit me so hard.
Since you are a film student, do you have other recommendation for good films, or you best ones.
New Culture the Character is in Norway going back to that stone age place, is as familiar as being on Mars
I watched it for the lead actress 🥰🥰
I’ve been hearing “log kya kahenge” my whole life god I’m so sick of it
Ikr , logo ko sirf batei Karne ati hei
Gaand maraye log
@@Moona.licious17 nice one
I dont understand what is right way..! To handle this kind of situation? N
🤔🤔🤔
@@chandrimadey8419 you are so correct
As an Asian girl i 100% can relate to this movie, i felt every emotion so deeply it was a very intense
I'm so sorry for all Indian or Pakistan girls that have to go through this shit, this trailer broke my heart I don't know if I can handle the whole movie, I've watched a movie called "noces" and it was exactly the same situation but the only difference is that it was a true story and the girl ended up dying😞, I wish I can be of any help or if only there was a way to change those people's mentality
G. Aloysie it's same for the boys too
The Physics Holic oh honey no . Boys are given so much more freedom compared to girls . Don't @ me .
They all have a deadly disease called religion and caste and narrow mind, so it's not easy to change them
middle eastern as well...men are allowed to bang everyone but women? Stay virgin and get married-.-
G. Aloysie Its the same for boys to as everyone in the comments said but the difference Alot of the boys r forgiven bcz they're a MALE figure BreadEarner will learn from mistakes soon its every every few boys tht go through tht same thing as the girl shown in this movie.
She broke the first rule of living in a religious asian household. Never do it in the house girl what were u thinkin
HAHAHAH
This is EXACTLY the same thing my sister said when she saw it xD
Ray B.mira not religious but cultural shit!
Ray B.mira u r absolutely correct
Bru i would never had the balls to bring a boy home before we would be engaged. My dad would have killed me😂😂😂 she sure wants to die
It's really heart breaking how so many desi girls relate to this. It shouldn't be relatable because it shouldn't be happening... but it's happening. If you force your children into doing something they don't want you will lose them and they will forget what it was like to smile or feel joy. Someone who forgets happiness will expect sadness and grief and they are exposed to that and endure that their entire life, they are sure to tolerate abuse from they're spouse/in laws and more.
"Log kya kahenge"......I just hate that sentence.....don't know how many times I have listened this sentence in my daily life so far
trust me, you're not the only one. but don't let the fear of what other people will say from achieving your dreams. respect your parents, but don't worry about others :)
This sentence is hateful ok any language i'm from Brasil in here would be "O que as pessoas dirão" and awful in the same way😔😔 I think we all listened this at least 100 times a year
What does it mean?
I wish sometime in future desi parents say “ do what you feel is best for you and we will always support you no matter what”
As an Asian nothing looks unrealistic here no exaggerations and no supernatural element used yet it's scary af
Man... I don't know after reading most of the comments I feel so blessed to have papa and mamma as my dad and mom 😭😭
Was it just me or was there anybody else who translated the title to 'log kya kahenge?'
Reminds me of a segment Hasan Minhaj did is his stand up comedy!
Hasan Minajjjjjj 😂😂😂
@@goodness_graciousme SAME
Every one who understands hindi did.
Azizah Ishak lol everytime a star dies when someone says that
What will people say these 4 words have destroyed every girls dreams, desires, strength, motivation. It’s more of a victim blaming syndrome.
The biggest tragedy is the drift between a daughter and father because of some bored strangers looking for drama
'you mean everything to me' and at the same time means nothing to me. Does that make sense?
Wow. And same things apply you when you become a parent. 😒
As a man of 18 years old, I've immense respect for girls and women who stand up to the force, despite the overwhelming pressure given to them by their parents, relative and society. As someone like me who was in a similar situation, I know how exhilarating it feels to get out of the custom and rituals, of religion and society, and how liberating it feels to draw a clear line between them and live a life, of your morals, and of your choice.
To all the women, children, and men out there, I just want to wish you all the best, and pray for you, for your success, to find yourself, who you are.
this movie traumatised me. my heart goes out to everyone woman in this horrible situation.
I have just seen the trailer and reading comments. Do I really need to watch this? It seems like every single girl seeing herself on screen and reliving the pain.
That helplessness when she is taken to Pakistan, i felt it soo much as I went through a similar situation. Even though she loves her parents and wants be live with them so badly, “what will people think” comes in the way. I think this movie has spoken to many south Asian girls hearts
The topic they have chosen is daring and amazing as well but i hope they portray it well, stating the difference between culture and religion.
When they know that the girl has a boyfriend it's like the end of the world. She is labeled bad. Almost every friends in my class who are dating are secretly doing it. Cause if their parents or our teachers know this. RIP
Sobbing into a world that cannot absorb any more tears from us. This didn't even cover the have of it, but the fact that this movie even exists is a leap for us. God Bless this whole team.
that's a really beautiful saying 'sobbing into a world that cannot absorb any more tears from us'. wow.
That passport burning shot is sick. Don't migrate to a country for safety or 'better quality of life' if you cannot embrace their culture and their people. I'm saying this as a child of Filipino immigrants who was born and raised in Australia.
Bonnie Guardia must HV been hard fr u
I watched the film at TIFF 2017 and that is not the reason why the passport was burning. I'm sorry if it was a spolier but I loved this film and I can't wait for a lot more people to enjoy it. This film is amazing and I've been dying to watch it again.
Ummm the passport is being burned to stop her from leaving the country she has been put in? Don't come to stupid conclusions if you haven't seen it. Also migrating to another country doesn't mean they have to adopt their culture. There is difference between respecting and accepting it. you can respect another culture while still holding onto your roots.
Shehrin Newaz My family adopted the culture that had given them the opportunities for a better life. That doesn’t mean they erased their Filipino roots from us. We speak the language, we talk about the events in the Philippines, we eat and cook Filipino food and visit family there annually. If a country provides for you, especially given mine wherein we have free healthcare, anti-discrimination laws and a pretty good economy, you can’t just move here to enjoy what pleases you and refuse to adopt our culture.
I haven’t seen the film, but forcing someone to stay within a country by removing their ability to exit is abuse. No other angle to it besides limiting freedom.
Are Filipinos parents conservative about their children. Don't think so.
This shit is my worst nightmare, made all the worse since I'm gay. Hopefully I'll move out of my parents house in a couple months and won't have to worry about this happening to me anymore.
All the best to you. Hope you get to live the way you want to.
What did the pedophile say to the gay kid? - Would you like some skittles
good luck please comment back if you do
same and my parents are like homophobic if they like find this out i pretty sure they will beat me to death
More power and love to you stay strong❤
This movie is really relatable - especially to many Asian girls. It's the pressure of the society that kills them and tears many families apart. I have watched it and it's a 8/10! Recommend everyone to watch this movie.
the funny part is that in the end both homosexuality and heterosexuality is looked down upon . also guys give this movie a chance , i just watched it and it was so .. i want to say beautiful but it was actually quite realistic and showed the sad truth about how people still suffer because of their narrow minds and make the ones around them suffer as well .
Yes it's jarring seeing a realistic not happy go lucky/romcom type desi movie. So close to home. Even though my parents aren't this bad I know they could easily have been. Im just fortunate they are on the milder end of the spectrum. It's funny that many people think it's about her having a boyfriend. She wasn't in love, just exploring her budding sexuality. Part of her natural biological drive. Course everyone has their own needs. She was obviously someone who needed and craved physical attention (from a safe and trusted partner.) maybe when she's older she won't be this fazed. Just part of the learning experience. But being desi might as well cut out ovaries and keep it in the bank until you're with your assigned stranger with whom you can now turn it on and go go go till death lol
How did u watch it ?
@@Basbousa14 Netflix
ArtistProtagonist I think it’s because it was created by a Norwegian Pakistani woman instead of a purr Pakistani. The place meant to be Pakistan was my even shot there, it was shot in India. Pakistan probably wound have released th movie there.
Damn! Made me cry a little...My father said to me that i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend even tho i'm 20 years old, he even said that he and my rest of the family members will disown me and will never contact me again if i married someone of my choice..this is so sad. I want to have a happy love, even though i don't have a boyfriend i really want to fall in love and not spend my life in loveless marriages with a guy chosen by my parents☺ My father even said to me that he doesn't like it when i talk to boys or do a handshake with them, due to this reason i don't even feel any attraction to boys on street or in my class..i wonder if i'm asexual😑 I on the other hand think that people should fall in love, it's only natural to be attracted to opposite gender.
U never fell in love with someone??
@@rajeevchauhan1821 i didn't. I always kept myself busy in world of movies and anime. I had a crush on few boys before but i'm the type of person who doesn't say anything to the person i like.
Live in reality before it's too late
firefist kid Oh same! Sometimes I too wonder if I'm asexual or just scared.
Tell them u are going to stay single for the rest of your life
Wtf he burned her passport... I would have died
At that moment I stopped the movie. Didn't had guts to watch it !! But I finished it, And felt good to see her escaping 💫
@@aasthaitis where is it available?
@@bhoomikayadav4822 after the scene when tried to mail in a net cafe
@@bhoomikayadav4822 on TH-cam
@@aasthaitis She came back home the next day
The moment Aurora sang i got goosebumps
muscle pig jk it took me back to my emo days lol
What's the name of the song please?
David Loughnane me too I want to know
David Loughnane I found it it call runaway by aurora
@@mariamhussein3263 Sorry only seeing this now... Cheers! She's great, have to check out more of her stuff. Her cover of Massive Attacks "Teardrop" is mind blowing! Check it out!
This happening to me right now. A few months ago I told my parents that I want a boyfriend and fall in love, that I want to go to parties and drink and wear what I want. Just be free. My parents started yelling at me saying that I was a bad girl and I would put shame on our family if I did such things. They don’t even let me have guy friends. They said it was different for boys as the Quran says they are allowed to and quote ‘can’t get pregnant’. They said right after I finish university they would marry me off. I hate it. I feel trapped and unable to live my life. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for any girl going through what I’m going through or worse. This world is so cruel.
YuGa !!! I’m not faking. how dare you? That’s what they told me
People use religion to impose their own agendas. While you must live by their ideals as long as you are dependent on them, don't make the mistake of leaving your country or marrying someone. Contact the police if you have to
Lilly .p I hope you get free and can cut those toxic parents out of your life. Be careful and safe but don't allow someone to rule your relationships or future.
lily. P I can clearly understand your situation. There is nothing wrong with your demands . I'd rather term it as ages demand. Your parents being protective about you is also normal . But the thing is that there's no such thing in the Qur'an as ; males can do whatever whenever wherever they want just because they can't get pregnant or something. ..... If your parents told you this then they made a big mistake. it's never fair to adopt and divert religious beliefs as a mean to establish personal interest . the Holy Qur'an doesn't dustinguish gender . The obligation regarding decency applies to all equally, but no one is forced to it . And it's up to you whether you choose to follow it in your or not
@Aryan Kapoor why is it wrong to wear shorts or go to parties?
It's true that harassment can happen while drinking but it's also true that sexual harassment happens less frequently in western countries compared to South Asian and Middle Eastern countries in spite of the fact that women can dress provocatively and can drink and go to parties.
Traditions aren't always right and if a woman wants to live her life like that she has all the rights to do so.
It was so authentic and depressing at the same time.
The scene where her father spits on her was the most humiliating thing anybody could do to someone and being his daughter she had to go through extremes for being a normal girl.
Whenever something disturbing appeared on screen, i fast forwarded it because i couldn't see that much humiliation and intimidation. It was just sad and true.
Reading these comments made me appreciate my parents soooo much, even thought they are reserved people they still allow us to have a life, an experience. They might disapprove, but they never cross a line.
most realistic movie i've seen, nothing in this movie was exaggerated at all
When I told my parents I don't want to get married,I don't think I can deal with the roller coaster ride...they said the same thing...what will people say...
When I saw the title it just came to my mind and made me sad...even though it happened few years back
I hope I will be a good parent to my future kids if I have.
Sis if ever you had to marry atleast choose partner wisely if your parents let you.and you'll be a good parent for sure🙂.
such parents have no rights to become a parent!
My parents has always been supportive of me having a relationship. My mother once said to me if by any chance you become pregnant just don't be afraid, come to me we will talk and figure it out together. Well her fears were not to be because I am really careful about sex and partners in general because I don't want kids or transmitted deseases. But it really made me more confident in my life and sexuality.
U. G. You could have a talk with them and explaining that you love them and you respect them but your body is your own. You will be careful with the persons you will be having sex with but that sex doesn't doesn't define your person nor your value to someone. That you value yourself and that is more important than anything.
Ioana Lazar n
Actually, I wouldn't blame them. They were raised and pressurized in such a way that they grew up to think it was normal because log kya kahenge.
Ashwitha So are we but we don't think like them. Its upto you to whether to give in to pressure or not.
Did I just saw Rohit Saraf in this😳🤦😂? Am I just imagining him everywhere 😁🤭🤷
lol😂😂😂i am seeing him everywhere
Yes he is there.
@@soumyajain3477 where exactly
40:00 mins
@@amykj 1.32
My late mum cared more about what ppl would say & think than her own children. The irony is that the ppl she cared or worried about are the ones who've actually made something of their lives & their children's because they've never bothered what anyone cares or thinks! I just wish my mum could've been more loving & supportive
My heart goes out to everyone relating to the movie in the comment section. I have been in situations of gender bias and sexism but never to such an extent. I believe even though I have had my own struggles, I am lucky to have my parents who do not force me into things. I promise if I am ever in a position to change such toxicity around me, I will. I hope God gives you grace and courage to get through everything. If you do not believe in God, I hope and pray you find such power within yourself. Love to all you ladies out there. Love to anybody else who needs to read this. You can and you will get through. Stay strong.
The trailer completely changed Aurora’s “Runaway” for me. It’s so much more significant than it used to be
"She didn't want to study or she feel in love so their parents married her of " are the gossips I hear from my Indian parents.
As an Indian girl living in America I’m so happy my parents didn’t react like this when I told them I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend’s Korean and we met at college and both my parents love him and have no problem with me being with him. My mom is definitely very liberal minded and has even helped me get birth control because she knows that the culture is different here and that I’m not a “traditional Indian girl”. She knows that living in a different country is going to have different norms and thus has allowed me many freedoms that I’m grateful for. Not every family is like the one portrayed in the movie.
You've been blessed with an amazing family :D
u r damn lucky
Your parents must not care for you that much
@@supersagarsagar They do ! thanks for your concern :) Much more than the family portrayed in this movie
Idk, it depresses me because so many women do not have a happy ending.
I just finished watching this master piece on Netflix and I have to admit that this is probably one of the most BRILLIANT films ever made!! Each character is laced with such intricate details that the audience can't help but watch in awe! 👍❤️
The life of many women who can’t even raise there voice . It’s the saddest truth even today.
This is what happens with most of us Muslims (India, pakistan,Bangladesh)
Sad reality
wow dont include all of india because your one gf's parents aren't like that? unfortunately, not many others can say they have the same luxury in south asian families (and YES that still includes india).
Sabh Restman i didn’t say all of them! But most of them!
saania zee. Exactly what I meant
YuGa !!! No one disobeyed Allah! Our religion allow us to be independent! If anyone force us obey Allah , Allah won’t accept that IBADAT! IBADAT has to come from heart not force!
proud plebian why so lame? Learn to reap others! I didn’t said any negative thing about indians ! Indians are good people, not all of them but they are good! I have visited India several times
So..this is a film directed by a woman. Proud of iram haq.
I saw this movie in Norway when it came out last year. It was heartbreaking to watch. Right after I saw the movie I learned that it was based on a true story.
Yeah directors own life.
This trailer makes me sick! It reminds me of my parents and how strict our culture is. I really hope it portrayed the right way. That it is a normal thing to go out with someone.
The song that starts at around 1:02 is Runaway by AURORA,
it's a beautiful song
*FREAKS OUT WHEN REALIZES THAT IT IS AURORA PLAYING AT THE END*
That’s the reason I watched the trailer! Also look at the trailer The Equals! It’s winter bird by her
Yes that's true 😍
YAAAS I was waiting for someone to write this comment!!! When I heard the tune I was like hang on a sec...and then when the song started i was like yaaay
omg 😳
This behaviour by parents is absolutely wrong. It is a complete lack of awareness, self awareness and only driven by what other people think of them. Which means it's driven by fear, not love. This was very triggering and I am so grateful I had no fear of experiencing something like this.
as an Indian girl who grew up in western society, my life is the same, I always hear adults say "what will people say" and I think its time we stopped forcing old cultural rules so much and try to adapt to the new customs and norms.
No need to adopt to any norms sister. It’s your life, make it clear. I live in india and I have made it clear to my parents and they are okay with it although I am a guy so I am probably speaking from a position of privilege in our society
A girl's freedom is still now controlled by the society first, then her parents & at the end of the day she's given a choice.
This picture gave me goosebumps as it felt so realistic, connecting & heart breaking at the same time...Wheather it's Pakistan or India or any other country with the same cultural background & ethics you'll find a NISHA....
P.S.- This movie gave justice to itself in every way possible....
I don't think people outside South Asia will ever know just how much impact these four words have in our lives, especially those of young girls.
So many dreams, hopes and happiness have been destroyed because of the weight of these four words.
if they don't understand, good for them
I love the accuracy of this trailer already. There's never films about this. I'm so excited to watch this
I've watched the film today; 1:40 that torture on girl by police is heartbreaking, frustrating and disgusting.
Had that been my parents I would have run away.
This movie is based on the director’s life and if you read her interviews, she did run away and got estranged from her family. She only spoke to them after years once she found out that her dad was dying.
That's how every Indian family is like
it took me so long to find this film online and i didnt give up because you can just tell how good it will be by the trailer. best film ive ever watched!! my God i have never felt such a range of emotions from just one film!!! defo recommend
This story needs to be told... And should be reached to the right kind of persons....
This is not how you teach your children
but this is the truth
1:29 here for Rohit Saraf🤦🏻♀️ why am I so obsessed
SAME GIRL
I watched this at my school a while back, I live in Norway so it was released back then, definitely worth watching.
Y she keep getting caught tho
because it's a movie and everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
ikr omg this movie gives me anxiety
Lmaooo right first thing I thought as a brown girl!! Poor girl is very bad at sneaking around
She doesn't know it's wrong
Its based on the directors real life
I am so sorry. This reminded me of something I have buried within me. Everything that's shown here is true. It is true. Trust me. You can make fun of feminism or women wanting to be treated equally on the internet behind your computer screen, but you can not deny this happens in my country which I have seen first hand. And it angers me so much when you paint the world around your first world priviledge while people in countries like mine get treated worse than this.
What will people say😂😂😂 my entire 19 years and probably even more.
I'm a Muslim Pakistani woman. I was in college when I met a guy and at this point my religion wasn't important to me. I would do whatever I wanted (except for drugs/alcohol). So I would sneak out with this guy, but I didn't have the intention of being with someone for some kind of a fling or a one night stand. I wanted a permanent relationship with who I met, but I was also sneaking around behind my parents backs. Now, when they found out about what I was up to, sure I definitely got the threats and the curses and the horrible treatments, but I remembered that my parents aren't from here. They don't understand this life just like I didn't understand their mindset. This doesn't mean they're stupid or they don't want what's best for me. As a child I was foolish for not communicating with them. So, one day i ran away and came back home and my mother was crying and begging me to stay home. She said she missed me and she just wanted to see what I wanted. I spoke to her and I spoke to my family and I made it extremely clear to the guy I was meeting that I'm not playing any games and that I am looking to marry you. At this point, he had already converted to islam and really loved the religion. He understood it well and found it to be best for him. We spoke to my parents and he came dressed well for our marriage. We married young and we've been together for 5 years now. He still takes care of me and he's there for me. He does chores around the house and cooks etc. My parents are happy that I explained the conditions to them and they treat him like their own son. They like him better than their own sons. The girl in this movie is not communicating with her family and her family wasn't speaking clearly with her. Also, Pakistanis are usually very Islamic and the girl should've taken that Into consideration too before she did what she did. Clearly, her running off just to be intimate with random dudes didn't work out for her in the past so why would it anymore? This doesnt happen to every girl btw. My situation was difficult, but I handled it like an adult. Just because you think that your lifestyle is the correct one doesn't mean others don't think theirs is correct. My parents love me so much that they cut off the evil people who judged my husband and me. Not every situation is as intense as this one. Also, Pakistan is beautiful and not as barbaric as they showed in this movie. Don't get your information and facts from movies. No one gets actual facts from movies.
if you both happy and adults why there is a need of conversation ,I don't think this is right
White dude?
Why are you lying?
Pakistan is a barbaric place filled with terrorists and Islamists. The west should ban immigrants from muslim nations till they fix their human rights issues.
This is a brilliant film and I am pleased to say I met the father in the film, the actor Adil Hussein. He is a kind and humble man. I met him at a friend’s birthday. I nearly fainted when he told me he had just finished ENGLISH VINGLISH and LIFE OF PI. He is very talented actor and had lost weight for a new role so I did not recognise him.
This is an excellent, hard-hitting film.
some people say the police scene in this movie was unrealistic but if you live in Pakistan/India you know damn well that the police here are perfectly capable of that kind of cruelty
Every indian family suffers from this taboo "what will people say" .. so many dreams lost and lives destroyed by these 4 words...
I hope everyone who's feeling suffocated with those 4 words find their happiness. If your parents say that, dont give in to it. Please dont. You have one life and you cant waste that for the society. Live your life. Sometimes even in family, there needs to be boundaries you need to set.
I can't even imagine what will happen to me if my parents find out that I have a boyfriend.
Girl did they find out 😅
Honestly, it makes me so sad that people are so concerned about what others will think. Screw them. Forget them. Are they going to cry with you when you're sad that you lost someone you love because of society? Are they going to pay your loans from studying a subject that you never liked? Are they going to help you start that business you always wanted to begin? No. No. And no. So forget them. Life is so short to live it by other people's standards. I wish all parents would understand that.
I just promise myself whenever I'll have my kid one thing I will never say is what will people say I won't let my insecurities overpower my child's dreams and freedom
"What will people say?"
These words have stopped me from living my life to the fullest.
Don’t stop your life from living don’t worry about what will anyone will say? They will not give you help when you need. Don’t let anyone steal
Your joy
Start living from now...
I can totally relate to this. Not that I've experienced something like this. I live inna community ( Indian ) with rich and literate people around. They have modern day thoughts and beliefs. But when it comes to love , life is shitty. My parents have been begging to me ..go get a man . They are cool. Real cool. My relatives / neighbors be like don't talk to guys ! They keep on influencing my parents decisions. And it's sick .
As an woman who has experienced this myself , I confirm nothing is exaggerated. The struggle to live in that society is real. People are really narrow minded and will judge you even for drying your underwear in the front lawn...
oh god ive cried so many times when i watched this. the trailer even made me cry god damn 😭😭 my heart can't take it