15:10 oh she absolutely understands her part. She just doesnt care and is only trying to guilt trip you because of your parents reactions, not because she actually wants you in her life
You've made a promise to him to give him a phone at a certain age now if you break that promise your son will never trust you again and then he will just be a problem
In Story 3 if the promise gets broken then the next time you promise him something he's going to claim that every promise will become a lie. And a flip phone with no Internet capabilities is almost as the same as waiting until he's 15.
YOU ARE A ATM, A FAMILY MEMBER NOTHING MORE them missing your wedding and not telling you is crazy inconsiderate father knows treating you like shi+ won't get money out of you. Get your own family and be happy. Take care of yourself
The bad relationship between the OP's sister and the OP isn't just the sister's fault. It's mostly the parents' fault. As for "over-reacting". Guess what will happen if the parents don't come to the sister's wedding? A huge blowout, all of it relevant. I have seen interactions with such people before. It's futile. They would rather die, see their loved one suffer than admitting any wrongdoing to their scapegoat. Which is her. How do I know? The parents refused a blood test. This means that they don't care if she's guilty or not. And people who scapegoat you, don't love you. Period. They hate you.
Theres no "family unity" here. There's the two parents and their Golden Child, and then there's OP. Story 2: Joanna is threatened by OP's girlfriend. Good luck to Dan, he's gonna need it. Story 3: NTA, but the husband is. Either he doesn't want to put the work in to monitor their son's internet use, or he's worried their son might discover something he shouldn't. But they promised a phone at age 12, and making their kid wait another 3 years is cruel.
Blood is thicker than water is not about family 1st the original meaning is about the important people in your life is the people that are there for you in the hard times, so if you're family treats you like sht then you have no obligation to treat them like family.
OP: Your family is your husband and the family you build together. You have no need of the Toxic Trio ever! You can do better for yourself by keeping your parents and sister out of your lives. So, keep on doing it.
Story 1 you should do the same as the story where the OPs parents favoured his older sister and was never there for him including his wedding even after he said they better not cancel last minute for some crap his sister pulls out of her arse. Wedding day comes and they sent voicemail that sisters dog was sick so wouldn’t be coming, so his best man did a huge video about how OP was a lovely guy, honest, kind etc even with shit parents while filming the wedding highlights and the background audio was their voicemail saying “we can’t come sis dog is sick she’s too sad” He didn’t know until after came back from honeymoon and was getting calls and messaged that mom and sister were distraught as people could see how horrible they were. The dad asked him to take it down he’d do anything so OP said when you make up missing my wedding I will. Do a post with screen shot of sister lunch post and her past behaviour and see how quickly they change when they’re called out constantly.
19:13 I’d have just politely declined to attend right there. It’s their wedding, and although it’s hurtful, they have a right to lay down boundaries for the occasion. If you feel those boundaries are too much, decline the invitation. They’ll either change the rule or they won’t. It’s the same as declining to have kids at your wedding. They’re not comfortable with it, so it is what it is. Take the high road, and politely decline the invitation. The last story, the husband is completely understandable. You may think you can set boundaries, but when it comes to technology, your kid will always be one step ahead. They will find a way around the barriers you put up, so it’s best to just not expose them to it.
Story 1: Well OP tried to buy her parents attention by being their ATM.. OP knows that too being a doormat... But they replied by walking all over OP's feelings... And skipping her wedding for lunch.... OP needs create boundary and stand with it.... Actions hav consequences
I would make a post of my wedding day . Also post the picture of your mom and dad with your sister at her lunch explaining this I’d why they were not at your wedding. Explain that your golden sister is the cause of all the tension in your family. Then tell them you want peace by staying from them.
With the "no plus 1" story... I think bridezilla didn't want people bringing significant others who may steal her spotlight by asking their girlfriend to marry them at the reception.
You know I have four older brothers. We were all treated pretty equally with the exception of the youngest other than me who was definitely favored and coddled and backed up way more even when he was clearly wrong But it would never go this far with the favoritism holy shit
When this happens again, and it will, let her blab(in your head, think of all the words you can think of and try to remember their definition) once she stops talking, look her in the eye and say-“‘huh’ and walk over open the door and just say ‘bye’ and close the door”
Story one, yes, you are a doormat you let them treat you terrible, and the sucker she roped in to marry her, they are about to become his family and his drama also, put on some cleats and stand up for yourself
they don't need reasons. many years ago I sat in a living room with an egg donor, her shack up stud, a 14 year old daughter and the 8 year old brat daughter. right in that 14 year old's face and in my presence she simped that the 8 year old was her favorite.. I don't have kids, people accuse me that supposedly I don't know anything because I don't have any but LORD GOD ALMIGHTY YOU DO 'NOT' DO THAT TO A CHILD!!!
@@develyntwocentshenderson5739 When you think from early age that your parents favour the other and love you less is one thing. But when you realise after you grow up that they actually never cared or loved you as much is another and unfortunately that is what i realised. They were bad parents in general but you get what you get i guess you still think they love you but they are just too messed up to be good parents but realising that on top of that they kind of actually didn't love you when you grow and understand things then it is quite shocking.
The first story has to be fake. I've seen so many of these and everything about that history sound too similar... and dropping a wedding for lunch.. cmon at least be more creative.
OP is not qualified to play that game. She's entirely to soft. To naive. To wobbly. I got a call from my Dad,he acknowledged...... Oh F No. She can't even put 2 and 2 together. Dad had this miraculous revelation after OP discovers that she is pregnant. So ducking Dense.
Final story - Hubby’fs wrong. You keep your promises, or you don’t. But also, major purchases are two-yes, one-no things. So if he insisted on this decision now, after years of a different position simply inform him that when asked, you were fine with buying a phone, and even picked one, but HE just shut the whole thing down. If he wants to pull the run out from under your son, he can own that decision, and defend it against anyone who asks. Then you make sure your son tells Everybody in the extended that David lied to him for years.
The problem with these innumerable "golden child" stories is that they keep pretending as if there was something to salvage that the OP wants to get back - but it was never there to begin with and it just makes them all seem utterly pathetic when better prospects are right in front of them from jobs, friends and spouses. People are not masochistic by default, which makes these golden child stories just seem fake as a rule.
First story: She should focus on her new family and husband. There is a possibility her dad was just getting dragged along in his wife's demands and she could built a relationship with him since he seems to finally decided to even ignore his wife and try to fight for a relationship with his younger daughter. BUT she should be extremely careful due to the financial aid he used to give that makes it a risk where they only try to approach her because they want her financial support again. NEVER go back to that. If he actually values his relationship with her then he wouldn't need money to be close to his daughter. Second Story: The whole thing became bad because of reactions and not the essence. They have the right to do their marriage like they want and he has the right to decline. Talking with the bride and having a fight with her was the mistake. He should have just talk nice to his cousin and explained to him he can' be his best man because his girlfriend means the world to him and can't go without her. He should have thank him for his offer tell him he was sad he can't be there for him and leave it at that. The cousin will feel a little rejected but if the refusal was done politely instead of a collision he may have looked at the share of responsibility for things ending like that and not stopped talking to him etc. Third story: That woman was put in a really bad place because she is right that not keeping the promise will feel like an absolute betrayal to the son. He will also reevaluate his image of his parents as trustworthy people. And the shock of how no one is to be trusted, not even his own mother is worse than any shock he will receive by nasty internet things. On the other hand the husband is kind of right that those things can be bad for a 12 year old and his concerns do have a valid argument BUT it also makes me wonder if he will do that with his own blood daughter. Maybe he would but i do worry that maybe he cares less about disappointing a child that isn't his own and if he is truly a bad person then he may even be using this to create a divide between mother and son. But let's say his intentions are pure and his trying to be factual, the matter is that the promise was made. Even if the promise seems wrong the child shouldn't pay for the mistakes of the parents. The parents are the adults and the parents are the ones that should face the consequences of their actions. And since they made the promise they should face the consequences of any possible social media harm and keep their word and work extra hard to be careful on their parenting and avoid any bad influence social media may have. Giving a 12 year old a smartphone may not be a good choice but the choice is not now, the choice was made long ago when you already promised. This is a good lessons for the parents as well to be careful on what they say and promise to their children.
It’s a wedding. All this ‘no +1s unless it’s been over 60, and they signed a letter of intent’ bullshit is just trust to come with arbitrary reasons to exclude to people you wanted to accuse. They show up, or not, based on how much they like you. You invite them, or not, for the same reason. Your family might have managed to stick their fingers into all that, but it’s basically that simple.and if it isn’t… make it simple.
Wow. And I thought my Mom & stepdad were horrible people. 😂 walk away from the parents. Make your own family. Cut out toxic people, regardless of relationship status...
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Your mother and Father are after money. They will never really change.
15:10 oh she absolutely understands her part. She just doesnt care and is only trying to guilt trip you because of your parents reactions, not because she actually wants you in her life
OPs mom says that OP treats her new husband like her only family. Her parents have been treating eldest daughter like the only one.
You've made a promise to him to give him a phone at a certain age now if you break that promise your son will never trust you again and then he will just be a problem
In Story 3 if the promise gets broken then the next time you promise him something he's going to claim that every promise will become a lie. And a flip phone with no Internet capabilities is almost as the same as waiting until he's 15.
YOU ARE A ATM, A FAMILY MEMBER NOTHING MORE them missing your wedding and not telling you is crazy inconsiderate father knows treating you like shi+ won't get money out of you. Get your own family and be happy. Take care of yourself
I don’t understand how she can even doubt herself after her family missed her wedding.
The bad relationship between the OP's sister and the OP isn't just the sister's fault. It's mostly the parents' fault. As for "over-reacting". Guess what will happen if the parents don't come to the sister's wedding? A huge blowout, all of it relevant. I have seen interactions with such people before. It's futile. They would rather die, see their loved one suffer than admitting any wrongdoing to their scapegoat. Which is her. How do I know? The parents refused a blood test. This means that they don't care if she's guilty or not. And people who scapegoat you, don't love you. Period. They hate you.
Story 2: Joanna is likely jealous of Dans closeness with OPs gf. She doesn't want her there and Dan is going along with it. NTA
Theres no "family unity" here. There's the two parents and their Golden Child, and then there's OP.
Story 2: Joanna is threatened by OP's girlfriend. Good luck to Dan, he's gonna need it.
Story 3: NTA, but the husband is. Either he doesn't want to put the work in to monitor their son's internet use, or he's worried their son might discover something he shouldn't. But they promised a phone at age 12, and making their kid wait another 3 years is cruel.
Blood is thicker than water is not about family 1st the original meaning is about the important people in your life is the people that are there for you in the hard times, so if you're family treats you like sht then you have no obligation to treat them like family.
🏆
Story 1: op is a doormat
Thank you. She wanted to be a doormat to them thou.
I think story 1 is fiction, TBH
I smell potential rebel in your son.
OP: Your family is your husband and the family you build together. You have no need of the Toxic Trio ever! You can do better for yourself by keeping your parents and sister out of your lives. So, keep on doing it.
Story 1 you should do the same as the story where the OPs parents favoured his older sister and was never there for him including his wedding even after he said they better not cancel last minute for some crap his sister pulls out of her arse. Wedding day comes and they sent voicemail that sisters dog was sick so wouldn’t be coming, so his best man did a huge video about how OP was a lovely guy, honest, kind etc even with shit parents while filming the wedding highlights and the background audio was their voicemail saying “we can’t come sis dog is sick she’s too sad”
He didn’t know until after came back from honeymoon and was getting calls and messaged that mom and sister were distraught as people could see how horrible they were. The dad asked him to take it down he’d do anything so OP said when you make up missing my wedding I will.
Do a post with screen shot of sister lunch post and her past behaviour and see how quickly they change when they’re called out constantly.
That best man was a legend.
19:13 I’d have just politely declined to attend right there. It’s their wedding, and although it’s hurtful, they have a right to lay down boundaries for the occasion. If you feel those boundaries are too much, decline the invitation. They’ll either change the rule or they won’t. It’s the same as declining to have kids at your wedding. They’re not comfortable with it, so it is what it is. Take the high road, and politely decline the invitation.
The last story, the husband is completely understandable. You may think you can set boundaries, but when it comes to technology, your kid will always be one step ahead. They will find a way around the barriers you put up, so it’s best to just not expose them to it.
I wish these were written in a more natural way than as a writing project.
Story 3 parent him into how to use the phone. Give him the phone you promise him the phone.
Story 1:
Well OP tried to buy her parents attention by being their ATM.. OP knows that too being a doormat... But they replied by walking all over OP's feelings... And skipping her wedding for lunch.... OP needs create boundary and stand with it.... Actions hav consequences
I would make a post of my wedding day . Also post the picture of your mom and dad with your sister at her lunch explaining this I’d why they were not at your wedding. Explain that your golden sister is the cause of all the tension in your family. Then tell them you want peace by staying from them.
Live and learn on all sides of the clan, at least your dad is seeing the light
"Family lunches are important."
Marriages aren't?
With the "no plus 1" story... I think bridezilla didn't want people bringing significant others who may steal her spotlight by asking their girlfriend to marry them at the reception.
You know I have four older brothers. We were all treated pretty equally with the exception of the youngest other than me who was definitely favored and coddled and backed up way more even when he was clearly wrong But it would never go this far with the favoritism holy shit
Try say this next time: "you always say these things about family but if our situation was reversed, what would you do?"
When this happens again, and it will, let her blab(in your head, think of all the words you can think of and try to remember their definition) once she stops talking, look her in the eye and say-“‘huh’ and walk over open the door and just say ‘bye’ and close the door”
Story one, yes, you are a doormat you let them treat you terrible, and the sucker she roped in to marry her, they are about to become his family and his drama also, put on some cleats and stand up for yourself
Family is the price we pay for not being called orphans.
Did your dad tell you why your sister was favoured over you?
they don't need reasons. many years ago I sat in a living room with an egg donor, her shack up stud, a 14 year old daughter and the 8 year old brat daughter. right in that 14 year old's face and in my presence she simped that the 8 year old was her favorite.. I don't have kids, people accuse me that supposedly I don't know anything because I don't have any but LORD GOD ALMIGHTY YOU DO 'NOT' DO THAT TO A CHILD!!!
@@develyntwocentshenderson5739 When you think from early age that your parents favour the other and love you less is one thing. But when you realise after you grow up that they actually never cared or loved you as much is another and unfortunately that is what i realised.
They were bad parents in general but you get what you get i guess you still think they love you but they are just too messed up to be good parents but realising that on top of that they kind of actually didn't love you when you grow and understand things then it is quite shocking.
The first story has to be fake. I've seen so many of these and everything about that history sound too similar... and dropping a wedding for lunch.. cmon at least be more creative.
OP is not qualified to play that game. She's entirely to soft. To naive. To wobbly.
I got a call from my Dad,he acknowledged...... Oh F No.
She can't even put 2 and 2 together. Dad had this miraculous revelation after OP discovers that she is pregnant.
So ducking Dense.
What if his biological father got it for him
Final story - Hubby’fs wrong. You keep your promises, or you don’t. But also, major purchases are two-yes, one-no things. So if he insisted on this decision now, after years of a different position simply inform him that when asked, you were fine with buying a phone, and even picked one, but HE just shut the whole thing down. If he wants to pull the run out from under your son, he can own that decision, and defend it against anyone who asks. Then you make sure your son tells Everybody in the extended that David lied to him for years.
The problem with these innumerable "golden child" stories is that they keep pretending as if there was something to salvage that the OP wants to get back - but it was never there to begin with and it just makes them all seem utterly pathetic when better prospects are right in front of them from jobs, friends and spouses.
People are not masochistic by default, which makes these golden child stories just seem fake as a rule.
First story: She should focus on her new family and husband. There is a possibility her dad was just getting dragged along in his wife's demands and she could built a relationship with him since he seems to finally decided to even ignore his wife and try to fight for a relationship with his younger daughter.
BUT she should be extremely careful due to the financial aid he used to give that makes it a risk where they only try to approach her because they want her financial support again. NEVER go back to that. If he actually values his relationship with her then he wouldn't need money to be close to his daughter.
Second Story: The whole thing became bad because of reactions and not the essence. They have the right to do their marriage like they want and he has the right to decline. Talking with the bride and having a fight with her was the mistake.
He should have just talk nice to his cousin and explained to him he can' be his best man because his girlfriend means the world to him and can't go without her. He should have thank him for his offer tell him he was sad he can't be there for him and leave it at that.
The cousin will feel a little rejected but if the refusal was done politely instead of a collision he may have looked at the share of responsibility for things ending like that and not stopped talking to him etc.
Third story: That woman was put in a really bad place because she is right that not keeping the promise will feel like an absolute betrayal to the son. He will also reevaluate his image of his parents as trustworthy people. And the shock of how no one is to be trusted, not even his own mother is worse than any shock he will receive by nasty internet things.
On the other hand the husband is kind of right that those things can be bad for a 12 year old and his concerns do have a valid argument BUT it also makes me wonder if he will do that with his own blood daughter. Maybe he would but i do worry that maybe he cares less about disappointing a child that isn't his own and if he is truly a bad person then he may even be using this to create a divide between mother and son.
But let's say his intentions are pure and his trying to be factual, the matter is that the promise was made. Even if the promise seems wrong the child shouldn't pay for the mistakes of the parents. The parents are the adults and the parents are the ones that should face the consequences of their actions. And since they made the promise they should face the consequences of any possible social media harm and keep their word and work extra hard to be careful on their parenting and avoid any bad influence social media may have.
Giving a 12 year old a smartphone may not be a good choice but the choice is not now, the choice was made long ago when you already promised. This is a good lessons for the parents as well to be careful on what they say and promise to their children.
I think he's scared he'll find out your Husband is having an affair and out him. Come on really???????
It’s a wedding. All this ‘no +1s unless it’s been over 60, and they signed a letter of intent’ bullshit is just trust to come with arbitrary reasons to exclude to people you wanted to accuse. They show up, or not, based on how much they like you. You invite them, or not, for the same reason. Your family might have managed to stick their fingers into all that, but it’s basically that simple.and if it isn’t… make it simple.
21:53 i agree with the husband 100%, but i think if he has this opinion he shouldn't promise the phone at 12yo
Don't start giving the parents mo ey, again.
Good stories but the jumpy, jumpy, jumpy visuals are nauseating. I have to unsubscribe. Sorry.
I don't like the way the word duty is pronounced in videos like this , ughh it's so cringe
Doormat....
Overly verbose AI crap
lol 12 y/o with a phone u must be crazy
Wow. And I thought my Mom & stepdad were horrible people. 😂 walk away from the parents. Make your own family. Cut out toxic people, regardless of relationship status...