- See the book on Amazon (affiliate): amzn.to/3XEmOaY - 9-day mini-email class on positive communication for leaders: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
This is one of the things I love the most about history, especially the 17th and 18th century, and Japanese history. There were specific social protocols and traditions that you were supposed to follow. People think these are just stuffy, meaningless traditions, but they serve a really important purpose.
When I was an administrative assistant, I would visit all the people I supported to say “Hello” and to check if they needed support that day or week. It was always nice when they would stop by me on their way to the office in the mornings. Even “Shout Outs” were fun! My group had a close and tight relationship. I’m in a different office with a different role now. We are all super busy and I suspect some people are shy. When we were allowed to go back to the office a year ago, especially for Staff meetings, I began to make it a point to break around 9:30 or 10 in the morning and cruise the office to say a quick “hello” with EVERYONE! I tell people I am on a drive by “Hello” cruise. This helps me not to linger for more than a couple of minutes. I always make sure to make eye contact and flash a smile! I don’t work with everyone in the office but I still feel connected with them. The office cruise takes about 10 - 15 mins of my time ( the office is small). I am glad I saw this video. Going to keep up with this practice.
Biggest secret of a good greeting, is to widen your eyes when you see them. (neuroscience say widening of eyes is to allow the eyes to take as much light, because the person is surprised/excited) As if you are a dog seeing his owner returns from work. That surprise and eyes widening behavior makes you look happy to see the person you are greeting. Which makes them love you, even more if you have a good smile on you
@@alexanderlyon I fail to see the issue if it's a trick or tactic, genuinely asking from what I understand and also my personal experience, I do tactics/ tricks to be better in social situations, Shout out to Charisma on command YT channel. I use tactics/ tricks till they become second nature. they then turn to "authentic" if it has to be authentic before implementing, I would just struggle to apply the useful knowledge. 🤷♀
00:00 🌟 Greetings are crucial in both social and professional settings, acknowledging others' existence and signaling a desire to connect. 01:25 🌐 Greetings initiate high-quality connections, vital in fostering positive outcomes for individuals and their environments. 02:20 🤝 Greetings open communication sequences, define relationships, affirm individuals, and set the stage for collaborative tasks. 03:43 ⚠ Lack of intentional greetings can harm relationships, causing discomfort, feelings of disrespect, and a lack of care. 05:08 🎯 Elements of a good greeting: authenticity, verbal and nonverbal communication, and patience in delivery. 06:06 💡 Personal example highlights the impact of neglecting greetings on leadership and relationships. 08:03 📞 Practical challenge: Reach out to two specific people, greet them intentionally, engage in conversation, and plan for follow-ups to build connections.
If someone says "Hi how are you?" I'll usually respond with "The best I can, yourself?" Or "I can't complain, if I did it wouldn't matter". If they respond with "I'm well instead of good" I know they're really trying or have been told well is a better response then good before.
This is great, thanks Alex! I see a trend in more and more companies where the responsibility to connect with leaders is placed on the employee being managed. The weekly or monthly one on one meeting doesn't happen unless the managed employee schedules and drives the meeting. I think this is a mistake and agree that driving the connection makes a more effective leader.
Yes, that's a total mistake. There's a ton of research on the reluctance employees have to approach leaders. It's called the "mum effect" and it's hurt many companies. That's especially true if there's a problem or issue on employees' mind. Expecting the employee to drive those conversations almost guarantees that leaders will grow increasingly out of touch with reality.
Love this series! Bought the book and look forward to finishing it. In this video you mentioned connecting with others. How vital is being on camera in order to connect with others? The reality is some people can feel extremely uncomfortable being on camera. Others insist they need to see someone’s face any time they speak to them in order to connect. Somehow, we all conducted business and connected with each other before video conferencing existed and yet some managers insist on their employees being on camera regardless of how it makes them feel. Curious to hear your thoughts on this topic.
You mean in a Zoom call? If you're not on camera and most others are, it will barely feel like you are attending the meeting compared to everybody else. It'll instantly shrink your impact. It can give the impression that you're doing other things rather than really participating in the meeting. If a supervisors wants you to turn your camera on, then I'd turn the camera on. That's just some tough love advice. Most people don't feel comfortable on camera. They just get used it and/or accept that they'll feel uncomfortable.
A good greeting says, I am confident and comfortable and have some competence in this space. Although it is seen as polite, probably more so because it clears the ambiguity of silence, it has an element of aggression to it.
Like Zoom? The tips are almost exactly the same. Take a moment at the beginning to greet people intentionally. If it's a group, you can do a very brief ice breaker that helps you acknowledge each person. If it's email, be sure to start with a greeting if it's your first email of the day to the person.
So saying ‘I was doing fine until you came over.’ Is that bad? I am being authentically impatient, patient with them being needy, and stare hard at them, so eye contact-intention. My verbal and non-verbal communication seems to intimidate people. What am I doing wrong?
I'll take your questions seriously just in case you meant it that way. We do assume in the video/book that you genuinely like people and care about others. But if you fill in this blank, then that may tell you how you feel about others. "From my view, people are *_[blank]_* ." How would you fill in that blank? What is your gut response?
I really fumble at the small talk step at times. I also struggle to know how to transition out of the conversation at times, I don't know if I'm being rude leaving early or lingering and being inauthentic.. if that make sense? It's not all the time but one on ones by the coffee machine make me nervous at least a few times a week. Maybe just social anxiety.
I hear you. Many people struggle with this and with social anxiety. We did a video right after this one (linked in the description) about how to ask questions. That makes small talk much easier.
I don't teach that approach on my channel. If you go in with a mindset that *_conversation is war_* , you'll usually cause much more harm than good in the conversation. It'll lead to lots of odd behaviors that others will pick up on.
@@alexanderlyon its all subconscious,if you have low voice people automaticaly put you on weak person which means some judgement and comparism is there, like in war is there in hypotetical manner. If course wa want to connect, but people judge and select other on weak or strong side. It just my opinion. My primal point is when cashier is so loud and dominant towards us we cannot be weak.with lov voice.
hmmm,HR ought to listen maybe. For example, I enter a doctor's office and, guess what.... no greeting. There is a dude behind a glass partition and I fill out a little questionaire on an iPad. I feel much better when someone greets me with this, 'Hello. How can I help you'. thanks Guys.
Yes, agreed. We've really slipped on the basics in the last few decades. When I don't receive a greeting in situations like that, I feel unwelcome and even as if I might be in the wrong place.
I'm afraid to go greet people in the office space, I always end up having to help them with an issue. Like, they just want to benefit through that interaction, when though my intention is just to genuinely say morning to them. So, yeah, I'm not in a leadership position, but greeting... That's a no for me 😂
So tell them just that ‘I’m greeting you to be polite, not to help you resolve your problems-I’m not in the leadership position here otherwise I wouldn’t speak to you at all.’ Works for me.😂
Thank you Prof. Alexander and Dr. Julian 🫡 “And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner]. Indeed, Allah is ever, over all things, an Accountant.🤲 Chapter 4: V. 86 Al Quran
- See the book on Amazon (affiliate): amzn.to/3XEmOaY
- 9-day mini-email class on positive communication for leaders: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
This is one of the things I love the most about history, especially the 17th and 18th century, and Japanese history. There were specific social protocols and traditions that you were supposed to follow. People think these are just stuffy, meaningless traditions, but they serve a really important purpose.
Agreed. There's a reason for those greeting norms and traditions. It's sets up the rest of the conversation/interaction/relationship.
Everyone loves to be greeted with warmth.
When I was an administrative assistant, I would visit all the people I supported to say “Hello” and to check if they needed support that day or week.
It was always nice when they would stop by me on their way to the office in the mornings. Even “Shout Outs” were fun! My group had a close and tight relationship.
I’m in a different office with a different role now. We are all super busy and I suspect some people are shy. When we were allowed to go back to the office a year ago, especially for Staff meetings, I began to make it a point to break around 9:30 or 10 in the morning and cruise the office to say a quick “hello” with EVERYONE! I tell people I am on a drive by “Hello” cruise. This helps me not to linger for more than a couple of minutes. I always make sure to make eye contact and flash a smile!
I don’t work with everyone in the office but I still feel connected with them. The office cruise takes about 10 - 15 mins of my time ( the office is small).
I am glad I saw this video. Going to keep up with this practice.
Excellent example! Thank you for sharing.
Biggest secret of a good greeting, is to widen your eyes when you see them.
(neuroscience say widening of eyes is to allow the eyes to take as much light, because the person is surprised/excited)
As if you are a dog seeing his owner returns from work.
That surprise and eyes widening behavior makes you look happy to see the person you are greeting.
Which makes them love you, even more if you have a good smile on you
Yes, as long as it's not a trick or tactic and it's authentic.
@@alexanderlyon I fail to see the issue if it's a trick or tactic, genuinely asking
from what I understand and also my personal experience, I do tactics/ tricks to be better in social situations,
Shout out to Charisma on command YT channel.
I use tactics/ tricks till they become second nature. they then turn to "authentic"
if it has to be authentic before implementing, I would just struggle to apply the useful knowledge. 🤷♀
I love the action items at the end.
00:00 🌟 Greetings are crucial in both social and professional settings, acknowledging others' existence and signaling a desire to connect.
01:25 🌐 Greetings initiate high-quality connections, vital in fostering positive outcomes for individuals and their environments.
02:20 🤝 Greetings open communication sequences, define relationships, affirm individuals, and set the stage for collaborative tasks.
03:43 ⚠ Lack of intentional greetings can harm relationships, causing discomfort, feelings of disrespect, and a lack of care.
05:08 🎯 Elements of a good greeting: authenticity, verbal and nonverbal communication, and patience in delivery.
06:06 💡 Personal example highlights the impact of neglecting greetings on leadership and relationships.
08:03 📞 Practical challenge: Reach out to two specific people, greet them intentionally, engage in conversation, and plan for follow-ups to build connections.
8:51
Ty!
So clear! As I'm reading the book and watching this video. I can't wait to watch the next videos. Thanks to these wonderful professors.
Thanks for getting the book! BTW, if you get a chance to post a review on Amazon, that would be much appreciated.
Thank you Alex, your channel is really helpful and useful in the process of improving communication and social skills
Thank you!
If someone says "Hi how are you?" I'll usually respond with "The best I can, yourself?" Or "I can't complain, if I did it wouldn't matter". If they respond with "I'm well instead of good" I know they're really trying or have been told well is a better response then good before.
that is make me feel how greeting other is essential ! thanks
Great conversation! Thanks for this Dr. Lyon! Book marking this one for certain.
What a great topic mister Lyon, greetings from Guatemala.
This is great, thanks Alex!
I see a trend in more and more companies where the responsibility to connect with leaders is placed on the employee being managed. The weekly or monthly one on one meeting doesn't happen unless the managed employee schedules and drives the meeting. I think this is a mistake and agree that driving the connection makes a more effective leader.
Yes, that's a total mistake. There's a ton of research on the reluctance employees have to approach leaders. It's called the "mum effect" and it's hurt many companies. That's especially true if there's a problem or issue on employees' mind. Expecting the employee to drive those conversations almost guarantees that leaders will grow increasingly out of touch with reality.
Stevie Wonder covered this subject.. "I just called too say I love you"
Thank you for the inspiring content - simple fast and clear delivery
Glad it was helpful.
excellent my friend, Thanks for that teaching, greeting from Venezuela, you speak so clear and I would like to speak with that fluency. thank you
Thank you for the compliment!
Thank you ❤️ ❤❤
thank you very much so helpful
Thank you so much. So helpful.
Thank you, Connie. Great to hear from you.
Love this series! Bought the book and look forward to finishing it. In this video you mentioned connecting with others. How vital is being on camera in order to connect with others? The reality is some people can feel extremely uncomfortable being on camera. Others insist they need to see someone’s face any time they speak to them in order to connect. Somehow, we all conducted business and connected with each other before video conferencing existed and yet some managers insist on their employees being on camera regardless of how it makes them feel. Curious to hear your thoughts on this topic.
You mean in a Zoom call? If you're not on camera and most others are, it will barely feel like you are attending the meeting compared to everybody else. It'll instantly shrink your impact. It can give the impression that you're doing other things rather than really participating in the meeting. If a supervisors wants you to turn your camera on, then I'd turn the camera on. That's just some tough love advice. Most people don't feel comfortable on camera. They just get used it and/or accept that they'll feel uncomfortable.
If you could give one or two examples of some phrases other than hi, how you doing or simple ones...
A good greeting says, I am confident and comfortable and have some competence in this space. Although it is seen as polite, probably more so because it clears the ambiguity of silence, it has an element of aggression to it.
Agreed. I'd say a good greeting is assertive (but not aggressive).
G,day mate,how they hanging?
Great video l will watch and learn.
Thank you alex 👌🇮🇳🇮🇳
Thank
any tips for utilizing this strategy in a virtual environment?
Like Zoom? The tips are almost exactly the same. Take a moment at the beginning to greet people intentionally. If it's a group, you can do a very brief ice breaker that helps you acknowledge each person. If it's email, be sure to start with a greeting if it's your first email of the day to the person.
Is the book on Audible? And if not, when?
Nope. Not sure when. More of an "if" right now.
So saying ‘I was doing fine until you came over.’ Is that bad? I am being authentically impatient, patient with them being needy, and stare hard at them, so eye contact-intention. My verbal and non-verbal communication seems to intimidate people. What am I doing wrong?
I'll take your questions seriously just in case you meant it that way. We do assume in the video/book that you genuinely like people and care about others. But if you fill in this blank, then that may tell you how you feel about others. "From my view, people are *_[blank]_* ."
How would you fill in that blank? What is your gut response?
I really fumble at the small talk step at times. I also struggle to know how to transition out of the conversation at times, I don't know if I'm being rude leaving early or lingering and being inauthentic.. if that make sense?
It's not all the time but one on ones by the coffee machine make me nervous at least a few times a week. Maybe just social anxiety.
I hear you. Many people struggle with this and with social anxiety. We did a video right after this one (linked in the description) about how to ask questions. That makes small talk much easier.
Great ❤
Can I greet multiple people all with one big wave and “hey guys” if I am arriving and they’re already set up?
Sure. Just be sure to make eye contact with each person as best as you can.
vidéo importée dans ma tête trilingue.
... excellent ... !!!
excellent tips
Glad you think so!
👍👍👍@@alexanderlyon
what to do if we want dominate greeting, because it seems people want dominate rather than connect so prepar for war is our task
I don't teach that approach on my channel. If you go in with a mindset that *_conversation is war_* , you'll usually cause much more harm than good in the conversation. It'll lead to lots of odd behaviors that others will pick up on.
@@alexanderlyon its all subconscious,if you have low voice people automaticaly put you on weak person which means some judgement and comparism is there, like in war is there in hypotetical manner. If course wa want to connect, but people judge and select other on weak or strong side. It just my opinion. My primal point is when cashier is so loud and dominant towards us we cannot be weak.with lov voice.
hmmm,HR ought to listen maybe. For example, I enter a doctor's office and, guess what.... no greeting. There is a dude behind a glass partition and I fill out a little questionaire on an iPad. I feel much better when someone greets me with this, 'Hello. How can I help you'.
thanks Guys.
Yes, agreed. We've really slipped on the basics in the last few decades. When I don't receive a greeting in situations like that, I feel unwelcome and even as if I might be in the wrong place.
it has sth to do with personality as well
❤❤
I'm afraid to go greet people in the office space, I always end up having to help them with an issue. Like, they just want to benefit through that interaction, when though my intention is just to genuinely say morning to them. So, yeah, I'm not in a leadership position, but greeting... That's a no for me 😂
So tell them just that ‘I’m greeting you to be polite, not to help you resolve your problems-I’m not in the leadership position here otherwise I wouldn’t speak to you at all.’ Works for me.😂
Thank you Prof. Alexander and Dr. Julian 🫡 “And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner]. Indeed, Allah is ever, over all things, an Accountant.🤲 Chapter 4: V. 86 Al Quran