OP and her husband are way too passive. They seem to be under the misconception that taking the high road and being the bigger person actually works. Glad they (or OP's husband, rather) finally laid down the law in the end, but it was too little, too late. Bratty SIL will never change as long as her parents enable her behavior by favoring her over her siblings.
I'd of told SIL to enjoy being the golden child as long as possible because when mom and dad pass on, you're gonna find out just how insufferable you are when no wants anything more to do with you.
Yeah I was a bridesmaid at a very Catholic wedding a couple months ago and some of us had slits in the skirt and cleavage showing (nothing plunging but like the smallest of sweetheart necklines). I also know many devout Catholics with tattoos. The SIL is on her “holier than thou” bs because she thinks she’s better than her brother and OP by extension
if theyd just slammed down the reality hammer on the sister from the start none of this wouldve dragged on and escalated to this point. being the ''better person'' in this aspect is just pure doormat behavior. like way to go being EXACTLY Like the parents they despise for ''letting her get away with her behavior'' like girl, you AND your husband do the eXACT SAME?? pathetic honestly lmao
The moment OP said she got her tattoos when she wasn’t close to her faith, she proves that she has the same SIL’s feelings towards tattoos. I get the situation is uncomfortable and OP wasn’t in the wrong for standing up for herself, but she can’t judge others for thinking badly about her tattoos lmao
Im not a believer, nor do i familiar with Catholic canons, but... I always wondered about the stance of Christianity on truth. "I won't tell because it's between her and God" - sounds pretty wrong to me. Isn't the whole point of redemption is to take accountability? So, well, when your Christian friend/family member does wrong, isn't it like, your obligation to expose the truth so the person can "Face their demons and come to Jesus" faster, no? The hush policy is only doing harm in the long run. Kinda funny that you "can't keep a secret from God", but can have as mush as you want from the people you should be open with.
FFS. Just cover the damn tattoos, instead of adding to the family drama. It's not that big of a deal. Anyone who has tattoos should be prepared to cover them, from time to time. It's not an unreasonable request or demand. SIL may, in fact, be an AH. However, by turning down a perfectly acceptable request, OP engaged in AH behavior. And that, apparently, set off a major round of drama. It looks like OP's husband, who is friends with SILs fiance, and is supposed to be a groomsman, is about to miss his friends wedding, entirely, because OP refused a minor request. All that ridiculous family drama, because OP wouldn't drop a few bucks on some makeup. That's just asinine.
Whilst I’m on OPs side with this, what makes me side eye is that a devout Christian wouldn’t WANT to cover them up. It’s literally a sin and reminder of your past life.
@shanel4294 I have a couple of tattoos, myself. They are there, and I can't do much about it. However, they are easy to cover, and I do cover them, when appropriate. Fortunately, I was smart enough to decide NOT to have tattoos that were visible from a suit. Like I said, the brides personality flaws aside, it's still a reasonable request. Had the bride demanded that the bridesmaids get matching tattoos with her, I could understand the objection.
There are proper ways to go about this. To tell someone to cover their tattoos after choosing a dress the you know would expose them is crazy especially since with the update it is clear that they aren't close anymore so she could've chosen someone else. Now is the request reasonable, sure. However, rejecting it is perfectly fine, just because drama occurs doesn't mean you cater to someone's whims. OP's husband said he wouldn't go, if he is on her side who are you to care about him missing his friends wedding. IMO it is more likely she is unwilling to compromise because SIL makes too many demands from her.
"It's not an unreasonable request." Disagree: tattoos are literally just coloured designs on a person's skin, they don't make a noise or have an offensive smell, they're commpletely unobtrusive (excepting, of course, offensive designs, like swastikas, but if you're even associating with those people, that's your loss). The worst they could be is ugly, which is also true of people's faces; I'm guessing you wouldn't consider it a 'reasonable request' if I asked you to wear a veil because I found you unattractive. Not to mention the fact that tattoos are often pretty meaningful to the people you have, comemorating important events or just celebrating things they care about; my own mother has tattoos representing all her children; if you told her to cover them up for any reason she'd absolutely be offended and I'd abolutely support her. Even if this isn't the case, my first point still stands. This attitude towards tattoos is completely ridiculous: if you don't like them, don't look at them. It is not reasonable to expect someone to cover the up.
OP and her husband are way too passive. They seem to be under the misconception that taking the high road and being the bigger person actually works. Glad they (or OP's husband, rather) finally laid down the law in the end, but it was too little, too late. Bratty SIL will never change as long as her parents enable her behavior by favoring her over her siblings.
They're devout and indoctrinated into over-forgiveness, that's how it goes.
They're Christians. Jesus was a love and forgiveness guy
the parents wont believe otherwise unless all the other siblings go NC and have something sil cant give (grandkids, love, money or a place to stay)
That’s what religious people do
I don't get how some people are this passive I'm WAY to petty i would have spilled the beans the instant she tried to guilt trip me
@@Speedwagon_is_cute catholicism
I'd of told SIL to enjoy being the golden child as long as possible because when mom and dad pass on, you're gonna find out just how insufferable you are when no wants anything more to do with you.
OP isn’t the AH, SIL is trying to have OP leave the party.
Is this a church wedding aren’t the dresses inappropriate so why draw the line at tattoos 😂
Yeah I was a bridesmaid at a very Catholic wedding a couple months ago and some of us had slits in the skirt and cleavage showing (nothing plunging but like the smallest of sweetheart necklines). I also know many devout Catholics with tattoos. The SIL is on her “holier than thou” bs because she thinks she’s better than her brother and OP by extension
if theyd just slammed down the reality hammer on the sister from the start none of this wouldve dragged on and escalated to this point. being the ''better person'' in this aspect is just pure doormat behavior. like way to go being EXACTLY Like the parents they despise for ''letting her get away with her behavior'' like girl, you AND your husband do the eXACT SAME?? pathetic honestly lmao
The moment OP said she got her tattoos when she wasn’t close to her faith, she proves that she has the same SIL’s feelings towards tattoos. I get the situation is uncomfortable and OP wasn’t in the wrong for standing up for herself, but she can’t judge others for thinking badly about her tattoos lmao
My petty self could never
i can see why she(sil) end up narcisstic like that lol.both op and her hubby is so passive and that enabling her. this going to get backfired lol
This just reminds me why I stopped going to church
perfectly fine
Im not a believer, nor do i familiar with Catholic canons, but... I always wondered about the stance of Christianity on truth. "I won't tell because it's between her and God" - sounds pretty wrong to me. Isn't the whole point of redemption is to take accountability? So, well, when your Christian friend/family member does wrong, isn't it like, your obligation to expose the truth so the person can "Face their demons and come to Jesus" faster, no? The hush policy is only doing harm in the long run. Kinda funny that you "can't keep a secret from God", but can have as mush as you want from the people you should be open with.
Catholicism is the AH. It's why everyone's upset. Leave the church. I did.
🌛🌛
FFS. Just cover the damn tattoos, instead of adding to the family drama. It's not that big of a deal.
Anyone who has tattoos should be prepared to cover them, from time to time. It's not an unreasonable request or demand.
SIL may, in fact, be an AH. However, by turning down a perfectly acceptable request, OP engaged in AH behavior. And that, apparently, set off a major round of drama.
It looks like OP's husband, who is friends with SILs fiance, and is supposed to be a groomsman, is about to miss his friends wedding, entirely, because OP refused a minor request.
All that ridiculous family drama, because OP wouldn't drop a few bucks on some makeup. That's just asinine.
Whilst I’m on OPs side with this, what makes me side eye is that a devout Christian wouldn’t WANT to cover them up. It’s literally a sin and reminder of your past life.
@shanel4294 I have a couple of tattoos, myself. They are there, and I can't do much about it. However, they are easy to cover, and I do cover them, when appropriate. Fortunately, I was smart enough to decide NOT to have tattoos that were visible from a suit.
Like I said, the brides personality flaws aside, it's still a reasonable request. Had the bride demanded that the bridesmaids get matching tattoos with her, I could understand the objection.
There are proper ways to go about this. To tell someone to cover their tattoos after choosing a dress the you know would expose them is crazy especially since with the update it is clear that they aren't close anymore so she could've chosen someone else.
Now is the request reasonable, sure. However, rejecting it is perfectly fine, just because drama occurs doesn't mean you cater to someone's whims.
OP's husband said he wouldn't go, if he is on her side who are you to care about him missing his friends wedding.
IMO it is more likely she is unwilling to compromise because SIL makes too many demands from her.
"It's not an unreasonable request." Disagree: tattoos are literally just coloured designs on a person's skin, they don't make a noise or have an offensive smell, they're commpletely unobtrusive (excepting, of course, offensive designs, like swastikas, but if you're even associating with those people, that's your loss). The worst they could be is ugly, which is also true of people's faces; I'm guessing you wouldn't consider it a 'reasonable request' if I asked you to wear a veil because I found you unattractive.
Not to mention the fact that tattoos are often pretty meaningful to the people you have, comemorating important events or just celebrating things they care about; my own mother has tattoos representing all her children; if you told her to cover them up for any reason she'd absolutely be offended and I'd abolutely support her. Even if this isn't the case, my first point still stands.
This attitude towards tattoos is completely ridiculous: if you don't like them, don't look at them. It is not reasonable to expect someone to cover the up.
You’re welcome to go buy a $40 foundation product and let it sit in your house unused to make a point