P.S. For those asking, YES we got a 60% refund (which doesn't cover the 12 days left but still was definitely better than no refund!) Thank you again for all your comments & stories being shared also! So sorry I cannot reply to them all but I appreciate every single one of you and our lil community here 🥲😊💖
I was working at the hospital years ago and I did the same things to newborn. 3-4 years later I worked in rural area and studied natural child birth and breastfeeding. You cannot imagine the regret I had after knowing all of those things, knowing we didn't let mother and her newborn room in together and do everything as long as the baby feed. I have become breastfeeding counsellor and advocate for 10+ years now, helping many mother, but every time i heard this kind of story, i still feel guilty. Glad to know you decided the best for yourself and Leo. Kind of surprise this kind of situation still happen in Korea. But Thank you for sharing this through your channel! Hope more mother can do their research and decide what is best for their baby.
I'm so glad that you actually left that care center. There have been extensive studies that show a detrimental impact of maternal deprivations on children's future mental health and social life, so I'm glad you made the decision and not to leave Leo there by himself.
This is complete understandable. I am a midwife in the U.K. and this is surprising to hear as we encourage breastfeeding and bonding with baby in the postpartum period. Perhaps consider having your baby in a western country like Australia or the U.K. for baby number 2. If you have disposable income to have private care with such elements upheld. In terms of the belly button, it sounds like your baby had an infection if the belly button was green. You should clean the belly button with cool, boiled water. No creams or oils. But I’m sure everything is all well now.
Fuckkkk that! Jen you handled it well! If anyone tries to force feed my baby especially my newborn, I’m choking them! Lol You were not wrong for feeling the way you did! You should be able to be with your baby and feed your baby whenever and however you want! That place sounds like they’re just out for the money because if you think about it, them very rich women are used to not having to do anything so they pay a high price for others to do their job as a mom and probably don’t even think about how their baby is being treated as long as they are good. But then there’s moms like you who actually do care. I think that’s the real difference. So these workers aren’t used to moms who actually care about being a mom and actually care about how their baby is being treated. That’s my honest opinion because rich ppl are very spoiled and do very little on their own.
My mum always said it's best to leave the hospital as soon as you can and go home, otherwise when you've been pampered and helped for awhile, it's more difficult when you get home and suddenly have to do everything yourself. (We're Aussie) I guess everyone's different, but she stayed in the hospital for I think almost a week with my older sister, 2 days with me, and literally less than 24 hours with my younger brother. Good on you for respectfully standing up for yourself Jen. I think you were both loving but wise and firm in a difficult sleep deprived and hormone fuelled situation!
Jen, I’m so sorry you’ve been through that. My blood boiled listening to how cold they treat you and especially your baby. How can a postpartum facility be so inhumane and not hospitable at all is bollocks. You are strong for following your maternal instinct and overall be so nice towards the staffs even though they mistreated you. Godforbid if it were me I would have lashed out instantly lol. For so much money that you paid to get a service, they didn’t deliver at all. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope you and your baby are happy and healthy.
I really appreciated hearing your experience. I’m still single, but I like learning about these things in case I ever end up having a baby in Korea. The more you know the better choices you can make. I’m sorry you had such a difficult time there. ㅠㅠ I think I would have felt the same as you and left early.
As a mother myself the first moment with your child is something very special.. good for you for standing up for your family connection!!! Your mother instinct was on 💯 the bonding is necessary!!!
Context and story do not match... I have gone to the same Joriwan 3 times --- before going one needs to think about why you are going there and understand that being controlling is not important, if you do not feel free within yourself how would you allow the place you hired to take care of you? You go to a Joriwan to be taken care of... It is like going to being a high roller in Vegas and not allowing valet, concierge and personal services take care of you! If you reject them, than the experience is gone! BTW the Joriwan concept is practice in many Asian countries ( Taiwan, China, Japan, Singapore, Indonesia, etc) DUH if you did not know!
Woooow Jen I totally understand you left after 2 days. I don't think you're being "difficult", I think it's a good thing you stood up for yourself. Also thanks for sharing so honestly again ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story Jen! As a new mom in the US, I was always curious about the Korean postpartum centers as I've heard so much about them. Your video was very insightful.
I am a korean american nurse and I felt the cultural difference even with my mom. She had differing views on how to feed my baby when I gave birth this January, and although I very much appreciated her help and there were many things that she did that were beneficial, there were times when the “korean” way of doing things was simply not clinically correct or evidence based. That said, I am a but surprised that a post partum care center would be that ignorant to the benefits of breastfeeding, and they didn’t recognize there needs to be a supply and demand in effect for new moms to start breastfeeding successfully… bottle feeding a baby because “they’re hungry” and not latching baby to mom is detrimental to BF. I’m glad you left, they were obviously not putting bonding between mother and baby first.
I totally understand with the notion of even having cultural clashes with our own mums! To be honest, although I was quite sad that we had no one to help, deep down I knew it was probably easier for us to do it on our own due to these potential cultural/ generational differences I have with my parents too (they insisted we just give formula rather than breastmilk, as just one example) I love & respect my parents but definitely don't see eye to eye on many topics so in the end I was just so grateful with how things worked out 🤍😄
It’s not really the “korean” way. It’s actually the western way adopted by Koreans. The British and Americans really shamed the Koreans over their breasts and breast feeding when they occupied Korea. Korea hasn’t really moved on from that experience and are behind in what the west is doing now in terms of breast feeding education.
Hi Jen, just one minor misconception on this postpartum care for moms, it is a common practice in the Chinese culture as well. It is not so much of a 'pampering' after giving birth, but it is more like resting and rejuvenating your body after 9 tough months of pregnancy. The fact that giving birth is quite a painful and torturous process for a woman's body, so the month after giving birth is being considered the 'crucial period'.There are a lot of such postpartum centres for moms in Asia countries like China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore etc just to name a few. The main objective is to bring the body back into 'balance', and because women lose so much blood after labor, taking care of the body after pregnancy is really important. =)
I shouldn't have used the word 'pampering' (was just quoting what Will would say to me haha - he tends to use dramatic words). Yes, it is definitely what you have described, and thanks for better explaining it for others! Postpartum care is certainly crucial :) my next video will be about it!
Jori is a Chinese word. It means sit month. Jo is sit in Chinese , ri is month. It means you sit or confine the whole month after birth. So it’s very common in Chinese culture. Prob originated from China, because the words are Chinese.
The chinese would hire a confinement nanny for the entire month for about 2 to 3k and she does all the cooking and assisting during the whole month. Some chinese custom doesnt even allow you to wash your hair at all. lol
The rooms in the Korean joriwon are so hot! 26-27 Celsius for moms. I sweat (which I think is the point), but midday when the sun is out (both times I was/am here in January), my room gets to 90 F which I don't know in Celsius. I crack a window to get it back down to 80 F. I only wear fuzzy sleep socks sometimes, but other moms wear leggings and the sleep socks. How?!? I consider this place pampering though. My treat after crazy birth. Ha.
I'm so sad for your experience! It's already stressful and exhausting to be a new mom but to deal with that sounds so awful. I'm Korean-American and I actually had a really good experience with all three of my children at two different 조리원. First, they were the 조리원 in the same building as my birth hospital so the doctors and nurses that helped me through my pregnancy and my labor were the ones taking care of me and my baby. When I researched post partum care centers and visited them, the bigger ones were definitely more systematic- they had their own schedule for when you could feed your baby or when you could visit your baby and I was really not thrilled about that. I also think they're way more strict now because of covid-19. My 조리원's were super flexible. They left me alone- other than one check in the morning and one in the evening, they told me to call them if I needed anything. And they would come almost right away if I needed new ice or some help. I could have my baby in my room for as long as I wanted, they could sleep with me. I got a lot of support to breast feed- they even had a separate lactation specialist. The nursery would call me and say "your baby is awake now, would you like to come breastfeed?" And I felt like they really respected my wishes and my babies' natural sleeping and feeding schedule. I feel like I got really lucky especially when I talk to other moms and hear stories like yours. I just wanted to share that it is possible to find post-partum care centers in Korea (one of my centers was in Seoul and the other is in Gimpo) that's more open to Western ideas of birth and post-partum care.
Wow that sounds awesome. I live in America. I had twins and no help. I had to do everything myself. I was able to breastfeed for three months, so I did pretty ok, I did supplement formula. It was not easy but I think that some more help would have been so nice. I want more help next time.
I don't know what it is, your voice is so relaxing. Definitely is a cultural thing, traditional chinese postpartum practices also often don't place priority on breastfeeding support. You got out of there quick enough to avoid falling into deep postnatal depression.
Thank you sooo much for sharing your experience. As a person with Korean background I also think the roughness of ajumas and making everyone do the same thing is a cultural thing that is a bit hard for us to wrap our heads around. Maternity care Centre sounds like an amazing thing in theory. But I also would love to be able to spend more time with my baby, to move at my own speed, and to rest, when I actually need to rest, not when I’m told to. This video was definitely very useful. Waiting for more videos on your postpartum experience in Korea 🥰 And wishing you and Leo all the best 😘
I would have left too, the most important place for a newborn is skin to skin with the mother, so that you can learn each other and get the latch down, this time is very critical for bonding and for feeding. I like the idea of post natal massage, and also meal preparations for new moms, but I don't like the separation, maybe if mom wants it, but if she doesn't want it then they should give private time for the new family. I am from the USA, so definitely there is a cultural difference in my understanding. I think that the idea of Joriwon or post natal care center is wonderful, but practices just need to be tweaked to fit the mom's preferences, this type of postnatal care could especially help women of color in the USA we have high infant mortality and high complications after birth.Thanks for sharing.
Skin to skin is not practiced in most maternity centers in Korea. Your baby is born and they take the baby to a newborn room with other babies. It is sad but it’s a cultural practice. A lot of Korean moms get overwhelmed in Western hospitals where they have the baby with them in the room after birth because they think they can’t rest and it’s not what they expect culturally
I think this would be very help for moms. As a black mom I was concerned about my life and was grateful for the attention I got in Korea. I do agree that they need to support moms wanting to do skin to skin and breastfeed
Dear Jen, I feel so sad for you. For me the human contact , sensitivity and the contact you named I am totally agree with you. Mentality is such important and everyone needs to feels love from someone else... especially newborns because they build their confidence in love that parents give them . You are such a nice person with gorgeous heart. You have all my respect for trying to do the best for Leo. Definitely I would make the same as you did. Thanks for being honest about your feelings.
:((( this made me really sad! i’m glad you made the decision for yourself and baby. this sounds like such a scary experience, especially for a first time mum
You were too nice to them so they had an attitude. I don’t think that Korean moms would take that attitude, especially if they paid that much. There are maternity centers in China and they are very popular as well, massages, Chinese medicine and so on.
Glad to hear that you leave. If you have that feeling that something is not right, you need to act straight away. Mother’s instinct never wrong. I had that experience before and I’m so regretful that I didn’t act quickly and more straightforwardly. The behavior that you experienced is really common in asia. Where every workers only do things according to the “manual” that exist for so long that every new theories are being considered wrong. You did a really good decision jen. Hope you enjoy your journey with leo. And I pray for your family health 🙏🏻
Hello! Totally stumbled across your video, but I really enjoyed it! I have a lot of Korean friends and even my mother in law is Japanese, and I struggled a lot with her especially after having my first child. Although it's a different culture, I think the notion to try and pamper and help with EVERYTHING after birth really bothered me! Our relationship is much better now, but I feel a bit relieved that my feelings towards the help during postpartum was more of a cultural difference than anything. I questioned myself for a long time, like "Why am I so upset over her help?" Lol
There is such a big cultural difference. I'm sorry to hear you go through all that frustration especially being a first time mom. Wish you the best! ❤️
What a stressful experience! I'm so glad you left and that everything turned out ok. Birth is stressful enough without all of that unhelpful interference.
Oh dear I’m so sorry that you went through all of that Jen🥺 Definitely must have been upsetting..it’s sad and heartbreaking even to just hear all that you’ve been through. And thank you for sharing your personal experience, but yet clarifying so well that you’re not generalizing nor defining Korean maternity care centers from your experience. We know that you don’t mean bad - ever. It really is surprising but also helpful to know all that you’ve shared! Being a tck (third culture kid) myself I totally understand how the cultural differences can play a huge part. What you’ve shared is definitely good to know as a heads up on what can happen. Really appreciate it! I feel like I’ve earned a honest and heart to heart story share from an 언니:) Thank you and blessings🤍
In Malaysia they are called ‘confinement centres’ and usually the mum stays 28-30 days there. Another service that is popular is called ‘confinement lady’ where someone comes to your house (7 days, 14 days, 28 days and some cases 44 days) and takes care of mum + baby. You can choose a half day, full day or a even stay in package.
I think it's a cultural and age hierarchy thing. I know that for many parts in Asia, older people expect to be obeyed and respected by younger people. Older people are also not sensitive or open minded about accepting feedback or instructions or modern ways of caring for the baby.
Thank you for sharing this. I think in every country or cultural there is a similar experience with new moms. In the US they very much focus on breastfeeding and having baby with mom. They also do come in every few hrs or more while you are in the hospital to check on mom or baby. It was so hard to get any rest at the hospital. Even after coming home and with family around to help there can sometimes be arguments on how to take care of a newborn due to generational gap. I was very stressed because of this after my first child was born. Glad to hear that you were able to get through this and so proud of what an awesome mom you are!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm a half Korean-American who's lived in Korea for 10 years (currently in the US). I've been interested in joriwon so I'm glad you touched upon the cultural differences. Now I know that it likely wouldn't be for me since I'm extremely private and would also want to be with my baby 24/7. You made some great points and I don't have any negative views about joriwon, I feel like you made a very informative video!
Thank you for sharing this! I am a British woman pregnant in Korea and I am really nervous about the joriwon especially as my Korean is not good. I am reluctant to get a helper because our apartment is so small and messy I dong want to get judged ㅠㅠ but this experience at joriwon sounds so hard... Also thank you for talking about the socio-economic chasm and past of Korea. This is a very real thing and I am sorry it affected your life in hiring helpers. 😔
Just want to tell you that you did the best decision. Moms always knows what's best for their babies! Do everything that you feel best for your baby. May you and your mini family always be healthy and happy!
What!! I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience. I’m a new NICU nurse in the U.S and we always advocate for babies to be breastfed/have expressed breast milk… (unless they have some kind of underlying issue of being unable to do so or if mama is taking some medications that are contraindicated,etc) So sorry you had to go through this experience…. T__T I’ve been watching your videos for years!! I love your content ❤️
Thanks for sharing. I teared when I saw the snapshots of Leo in the "box". I am glad you left and gave him more of your time at the comfort of your home!
Such culture shock! I’m a first time mom and the first thing my mom told me was to make sure they never take my baby away from me, either my husband goes with him wherever or have him next to me 24/7. Besides that girl everything you mention I would have been freaking out! I don’t know what it was but the second my baby was born my mother instincts amplified and I became a lioness protecting her cub. No one was aloud to touch him😅 (You are a great mom and everything that happened to you is insane)
I'm so sorry this happened to you. 😭 But I'm happy things turned out well after. The hospital i chose in the US didn't have the best facility. But the nurses and care i received made it worth it. They were extremely pro-breastfeeding. I had a back to back pregnancy. Our first baby girl passed away an hour after delivery due to potter's syndrome. Then we conceived 6 weeks later. We weren't trying either time as I've been unable to conceive for 20 years. I'm thankful this hospital had what they call the "Golden hour", which you keep your baby on your chest for an hour immediately after delivery. You also keep the baby in the room with you. Unfortunately, because of my age, health, and trauma to body from from both pregnancies, the stress caused me to not produce any milk. I was so discouraged, and I cried so much because I wanted to breastfeed so desperately. The hospital would not allow formula, so my baby was starving and developed jaundice. I felt like such a failure. We finally met a pediatrician who brought formula to us and helped so much. After going home I also didn't have any help. I'm thankful God brought us through all of this. My son is 18 months and so healthy and energetic.
Ahh i relate to u about the class differences.. I just had an experiences where i shopped in a store (and i bought quite big sum).. they had someone to open my door, even though i was capable to open the door. I thought to myself, “what service!” But then the person behind me went out n no one opened the door (they bought one/two things). I was dressing nicely because i came from somewhere at that time and the person behind me dress casually (like home clothings). Idk if those factors were the reason.. but i am not comfortable with those treatment.. i was expecting the store would do the same thing to those who even ask for direction. That’s y I am still not comfortable to have someone to clean for me, even though it’s natural thing where i live now. Idk what to do when they clean for u. My friend would tell me to just rest.. but i feel like i wanna rest in my space where no one is around.. 😔 Maybe coz i stayed in the US during my teen years throughout my early adulthood years.. i learned to take care of what’s mine by myself.
I was so upset when I watched your instagram stories and heard what happened. I'm so sorry you and your family went through that, Jen. I'm so happy you and Leo are happy and healthy now. Leo is so big when you hold him. Such a healthy baby. Also William was so sweet and considerate to plan your post-partum care with you. I can't imagine the disappointment and upset you two felt at your joriwon experience
Everything you've said is completely reasonable. You and William wanted to be involved and there's nothing wrong with that. You're such an empathetic person that I can't imagine you being rude even at your wit's end.
You should definitely try out HOUM next time! It's a hospital in Gangnam, we gave birth there and stayed there for 4 more nights for postpartum care. It was magical, the baby was with us all the time and they really worked on breasfeeding and latching!
That really sounds like a nightmare. I live in the states and my mom was there to help me for 3 weeks, it allowed me to put all my focus on my daughter and heal and by the time she left I was physically healed ( emotionally it took a lot longer to get back to normal 😂 14months postpartum and I finally didn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster) however I can’t imagine how anyone would think it’s healthy for the baby and mom to be apart, I understand giving mom a break but it’s odd because the baby and mom have been together for the 9 months of pregnancy, what would make someone think the mom or baby would be at peace if all of a sudden they were separated? Any who I’m happy you didn’t allow them to continue to mistreat you, I would have done the same thing and left. 💕
thanks for sharing. sorry you had that experience. im not sure about asian...probably maybe korean culture? ...im asian and i feel you...39wks and no plans to go to a joriwon :) bcz of reasons you said....my fears realized :( im glad it is over and you had a great post partum at home
I'm not a mother but your story broke my heart, especially seeing little Leo looking around, lost. You handled the situation with such grace. I would have felt infuriated. I'm glad to hear you listened to your intuition and was assertive enough to push for what you wanted.
We have joriwon in Taiwan as well. I think it is def an Asian thing. My sister-in-law and couple friends went there after they gave birth. I think it’s kinda based on the price you choose and they offer you different types of serves (range from $200-600/day). Most of them are pretty pricey indeed! My friends did enjoy it lol however I’m so glad you made a choice for your baby. Always trust a mom’s instinct!! 😇😇 Wish you and your family the best!!
No you're not rampling, it's expressing your feelings and emotions as a Mom, it's all good we have to listen and understand the connection between a Mother and her baby is the MOST wonderful experience you'll every get to experience, patience love and allowing the nature of life to unfold is a beautiful thing, keep doing what you do the theraphy of all of this will be something for you and your baby that unfolds a "True Love" of life!! God Bless
It’s been a difficult year, you chose what’s best in that moment. First time parents are under a lot of stress due to the inexperience, the urge to avoid messing things from the beginning and the gap between generations on baby matters. Don’t feel bad for not getting what you expected from reality, we all have been there in some way or another. No one is going to hurt your baby with a mom like you, staying alerted about every single thing that’s going on with the baby is the best protection you can give him 👏
I just gave birth to my second born here in seoul 4 mos ago, and had my second joriwon experience..and I get what you mean😭.. i think part of it is that you wanted more privacy with your baby, and more support with bfing from day 1 of joriwon. The other part i think- is how odd and abnormal the staff was at the joriwon you described. And from what i know of korean joriwons, the emphaiss is placed much more heavily on the maternal recovery than the bonding of mother and child. In terms of bfing, it really depends on the staff and the atmosphere of each joriwon.. the one that I stayed at (2wks, twice with each of my children) really supported bfing.. and if i wanted i could go and bf my child from day 1.(which i did, and for 19 mos after that..!) I can’t believe the disdain and ridicule you experienced with some of the joriwon staff.. it is completely abnormal and i got very emotional for a moment hearing you describe your first attempt at bfing in your joriwon room with the staff being so demeaning and unsupportive🤬. Someone like that should never work at a joriwon. Kudos to you and leo for getting through the first couple of really rough weeks of bfing!!! I know firsthand how difficult it is to get things going. It SO does not come naturally, although it’s the most natural thing to do to feed and nourish and bond with your child. :)
It breaks my heart that you had such a terrible experience! Those first few days (which can feel like weeeeeeks) are so emotional and exhausting. While it's true that different cultures have different norms, I'm still 😭😭. I'm so glad you didn't stay and made the decision to switch to a situation that was better for you and baby Leo.
Oh, I can feel you!! I stayed for 5 days at the hospital and even though my baby stayed with me I was really stressed out and dreamed about going home. In Japan staff knocked the door and calling your name every time they get into the room, but the get into the room like every 30-40 minutes!! Nurses, cleaning leady, food, doctor etc etc.. even during night time. Once they came in around 23 pm when I and baby were sleeping and start speaking to me super loud(ok, in normal voice but it feels super loud when you finally make your baby sleep after rough time) , so I was like "shhhh be quite". Another time nurse came in at 4:00 am (!!!) To ask if my baby make the poo and give me advice to give him more formula because he was loosing weigth( which is normal in first days.. ). I remember different nurses saying different things regarding formula volume and breathfeeding so I was feelinh really upset as well. It was like I want my baby be starving.. while I just wanted to do BF..
That is what a lot of 조리원’s do and what Korean traditional postpartum culture is like (mom away from the baby to recover). I wished you and your husband would have looked into this but most women don’t know what to expect, and it is not your fault. In Korea formula has been pushed heavily since the 90’s and even now you rarely see anybody on tv breastfeed. Most moms just give colostrum and stop bf altogether. I am glad you made the best decision for your baby. Congrats!
I have similar experience with you for my first child which lead to blues (in confinement centre and home). But you are much braver to speak out and take action. The experience is really bad. So i take care of my second one, lock myself in a room and dont allow ppl in except my hubby and first child. We hired cook to come in daily to cook. We are so much happier. Second bb end up calmer and very adorable compared to my first boy who got extra sensitive and emotional. Maybe due to me giving out that energy 😂
I am so hurt with you while you told your story. I could totally feel your emotions. It really sounded like you weren't getting the support you needed. Especially, you were a new mom and didn't know much, you were probably hoping to get helpful and informative tips on how to breastfeed but they just brushed you off. Plus, you didn't have family by your side too :( (Probably due to COVID situation) I'm just so sadden that you had such a terrible experience after giving birth. You should of been able to rest and have your baby by your side. I can't even imagine how much stress you were having during that time. I would of had probably broke down and cried. Anyways, I'm just glad that you left early and were able to spend the much needed time with your baby. At least, you experienced it and know what to do next time. Sending you the delayed love and support that you should had gotten. 💕😘😘😘
Ah dear Jen, my heart breaks hearing on your experience..I'm so sorry, and thank God for your courage to leave for home early on! Praise God for helping Leo to grow into a healthy and happy boy 😁 Thanks for sharing your experience so we can be better informed!
Yes, I don't think it should and I hope this video prevents it from happening to others with the pre-warning/info! Needless to say, if we ever have a second, we will be doing things very differently!
I had the same issue in an Australian private hospital. My daughter was also in ICU, they would get angry at me when I was trying to breastfeed saying I took too long, got upset at me when I couldn’t pump milk. I always had people coming in my room so I could never sleep. No family visiting due to Covid. And I had to stay there for a full week (which I was lucky for) until my daughter and myself were healthy enough to finally leave.
OH GOSH.... the belly button/placenta cord part just broke my heart for Leo T______T i'm glad to hear that it healed without any issues, but i can't imagine the HORROR you must've felt!!! i also have the western mindset (banana: yellow on the outside, white on the inside), but my husband being a pure fob constantly tells me how good joriwons are and really wishes me to do it when i get pregnant in the future. knowing how emotionally sensitive i am, especially considering that giving birth & post-partum are such emotional events, it may be better that i either educate myself more with jeong or just give birth in 'Murica LOL
Listening to your experience at the postpartum care centre make me remember there is a kdrama about mum life at this type of care centre🤣 and it was pretty brutal😂
Hey Jen :), Thanks so much for this video and sharing your experience. I'm so sad to hear that you didn't have the experience that you were hoping for and also PAYED for ofc haha, but I thank God that it all worked out in the end and that you, Leo and Will are doing well :)! He is really such a good God!! As a NIC nurse myself and dealing with many mum's post giving birth, I am very aware of how essential good communication is and daily updates is for our mum's on their baby's condition (even something as simple as when they last fed). Also with that, how important giving advice and reassurance is during this time when mums are so emotionally heightened. I see first hand how empowering it can be for mums and dads (especially first time parents) and how rewarding it can be also for me :). A big part of my job is to advice parents on how to care for their baby, especially for mum's how to produce colostrum, the benefits of it, how to BF (if they so wish to) and how to increase their milk supply. It takes alot of work especially when you just have given birth and may be in alot of pain, but if your willing to put the work in you can do it! And to me you were more than ready haha. It's really sad to hear that the Joriwon team (adjuma's) weren't supportive of it all with your BF journey :( but it makes me soo happy to hear that you continued and did it on your own and managed to achieve it :D well done!! I am also aware that the healthcare systems are very different in Korea and in the UK, but I wished that there was a way for BF advice + advice for parents to be more incorporated/ available in the maternity settings as I believe it is fundamental for parents to have. I can tell from this video you did A LOT of research, had A LOT of patience and is such a dedicated and loving mummy to your baba Leo. I'm so happy for you and your mummy journey! I'm always supporting your content, cant wait to see what you have instore for us :D Stay safe and blessed always~~ Angie xx
I can definitely see the cultural differences. So sorry you had that experience though. 🥺 They should be listening to the mother not what they would want to do. Afterall, it is still a business they are operating. Openly listening is important and they were not respecting you. I'm glad Will and you listened to your needs and had a much better experience afterwards. But I'd like to correct you on one thing, although Western society is all about independence, people do still say 'this one is the last one! This one is really popular' etc. to entice buyers to have the urgency to buy something. We def won't get offended. That would be an individual reaction, if they do. 😅
i'm so shocked on the pricing and service provided. sorry about your horrible experience. i wish they were more supportive and encouraging with your breastfeeding journey. at the united states, i stayed 2 days postpartum in the hospital. The baby was in the clear box next to me at all times, so I can nurse him whenever I can. The nurse only suggested to help out with the baby if I needed some break. I enjoyed every second I got to spend with him.
This is SO different from Norway, well they had the same mentality when I was born, 40 years ago. Then Mothers was on bedrest for 7 days and the hospital took the babies at night. When I gave birth, they left us alone with the baby for 4 hours, then they took us to a hospital hotell( kinda like where you stayed, only we called the Staff if we wanted help). They encourage sleeping in the same bed, and skin against skinn as much as you can. I had a nurse come inn and help with breastfeeding, but the choice is up to women if she like to breastfeed or not. But in Norway they recomend to breastfeed (or bottle )until the baby is 6 months old, then food. We have something called 'breastfeedhelp', it's groups of women helping New moms, so they come to your house for free and help you as much as you need to get the breastfeeding going.
In Singapore, we are able to engaged a confinement nanny agency whom they are specially trained to take care of newborn and cook confinement meals for new mommy. Nanny will stay in together with us in our home for 28 days. As a mother of 3, I truly uds how difficult and vulnerable we are at postpartum. Based on what you have shared, I felt that the people working for you, at that place is unprofessional, they shld have allocate 1-2 fixed nanny for you and baby shld room together with you. Felt so sad that you have to go thru all these unnecessary stress :( Take care and congratulations on ur newborn!
Thanks for sharing your journey Jen! China has this too very very expensive but very good I heard. Have your next baby(if you ever want to) in Aus! I’m from melb and my baby is currently 3months old. The support we get here is great and every advice is science based.
wow. first of all thank you for sharing. I have a child. she is a toddler now so i understand how confused it is as first time parent. my post natal was extremely hard. i didn’t have my parents here and i had a c section. i was in a lot of pain and confused with what to do with breastfeeding. i wish someone give me compassion advise as I am confused and try to be logical. i think the most difficult part for me was i didn’t trust myself. i felt everyone had their two cents and say everything will be fine. but it wasn’t. i rather someone told me it is bitter so i wouldn’t be so confused. My baby was great thou. once i trust myself and give my self a grace things get better. I get how you feel. i felt so lost first months. would really appreciate the compassion and logic explanation. I love my child. she is so sweet and she is a toddler now but it wasn’t easy to say the least. it was extremely hard but it is very rewarding. Thank you again for sharing
As a person who works in this specific type of healthcare facility, I can understand why the staff at the joriwon (esp since it's a high end place) treated you that way without even getting to know you and your needs with Leo. People who go to private/high end healthcare places tend to really abuse the staff because of how much they're paying and because it's related to their child. Also, it could be due to differences in culture too. You might think that you're helping the staff by giving them some direction on how you want things done but to the staff, it's basically "gosh, another entitled parent again, telling me how to do my job like they went through school and training for this". I feel really bad for both you and the staff because it's clear that you just had some specific needs and needed guidance with these needs, you weren't trying to tell them off or make their lives harder and on the staffs' end, it's clear that people who went to this joriwon have abused the staff quite a bit that any form of vaguely negative feedback given to the staff is received with hostility. I'm glad you decided to do what's right for you and Leo because that's most important!! Hope that you and the family continue to stay healthy 💕
I appreciate this perspective a lot as someone who works in a similar profession, and as someone who is a part of two different cultures. So I can relate to both parties. I hope people read this and take some time to understand.
I think it’s a better just stay longer in hospital than the care center. It’s about 500 US dollars a day here in dubai. Great facilities and professionals… food was nice 2. (Well, not 5* restaurants stands but healthy and balanced). Service is top notch 👍💜
I've never heard of a Postpartum care center but I do know that it is very important to start helping mother with breast feeding ( if that's what they've chosen) immediately or asap. For that amount of money they should have been catering to your wishes and needs for you and baby.They're suppose to help and make you feel safe while learning how to be a brand new mother. You absolutely should've been able to keep baby in your room if you wanted. I'm so sorry you had this experience. I can't imagine having that many different people coming in and out and all with their own opinions about whats best for your baby. All I can say is they're lucky your mother wasn't there because I have a sneaky suspicion she would have turned them around but quick. I know I would have if it was my daughter and that would have been at any facility much less a high end one. I've never heard of such a thing and can't imagine making a first time mother feel like a nuisance and worried. Shame on them!
I have only heard about this centres through the K-Drama 'Birthcare Centre'. I didn't know what it was like in reality. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us and talking us through everything🥰❤ I'm sorry that they gave you that kind of attitude. Especially with the breastfeeding. That was not nice of them at all! I can only imagine how you must have felt😭🥺
I’m so sorry that was your experience Jen, if it’s any consolation, I stayed at a premium room in a private hospital in Australia & it was a similar experience. The breastfeeding thing isn’t much better .in hospital in Australia. I don’t understand why in 2021 society does not get that babies need their mums 24/7 and BF support is actually hard to come by. I left hospital after 3 days due to similar reasons. You are both amazing parents xx
Watching this just confirmed my initial thoughts of not going to Post-partum Centers and instead go home after giving birth. You can focus more with your baby and you can just comfortably call somebody to assist you inside your own home. You can save money and there would be no issue when it comes to privacy
In Malaysia, our postpartum care normally will be 28 days some will prolong to 40 days for mums to recover better. Over here, there are older generations who do not quite get the idea of breastfeeding and often they will keep saying that our babies are not fed enough (as newborn eats every 2 hours) which is not true, it's just breastmilk is easier to digest. However, breastfeeding has been getting more common and encouraged nowadays in my country and I'm glad I received support from the right person.
Wow. I am so sorry that you experience that at your most vulnerable moment after birth. I gave birth at a public hospital in Australia and had the best experience ever. The midwife came in (with a knock) every other hour for the first few days to gently teach me and encourage me to breastfeed. Even helping to massage. They were really nice and offered so much help and advice, answered all my questions, and it was all free. My mom said to me that we were lucky to live in Australia with these kinds of services and help. My sister-in-law gave birth in a VIP room in Asia (I won't say which country) and spent lots of money and did not get the same service as I did although she did get a nice room and probably food. I think it's great to educate and encourage new moms as we all do need it. All the best Jen. You did the right thing to leave a place that is unhelpful/toxic to parents. Mothers knows best.
youre experience is so crazy! i would've left too. This makes me thankful for my experience. I literally slept with my baby on me constantly to do skin to skin. I hope that if you have another baby, you're experience is a lot better.
Wow! I am so sorry that you had to go through that! What a nightmare! I’m so glad things finally got better! I had my daughter over 20 yrs ago in the US without my parents able to be present. Even though we had a person to advise us with breastfeeding because I have flat nipples, they really weren’t that helpful. I remember sitting up at 2 am with my daughter trying to feed her. My daughter was in between diaper sizes and the diapers were leaking. All the blankets and pajamas were wet and needed to be washed. My husband had finished a paper for his graduate school class and was finally sleeping. I didn’t want to wake him up because he had class the next morning but I was so tired I just sat there and cried and tried to nurse her. Having somebody to cook and clean and do laundry would have been heaven. I burned so much food! My inlaws came 2 weeks in, my mother-in-law is originally from Korea, and they brought mink blankets and baby jewelry. They really did nothing to help until I came down with the flu. My temp was 102 and my mother-in-law kept covering me up even though I was too hot. She was trying to be helpful, but really wasn’t. I finally just stayed upstairs so that I could be cool and get some sleep. I pumped milk and had my husband feed our daughter so she wouldn’t get sick. My mother was finally able to come when my daughter was a month old. That was actually helpful. I told my husband that we were going to be there for our daughter. Even if I am not around for some reason, I have already made lists of things to have on hand, tips, and lists of things to do interspersed with encouragement.
P.S. For those asking, YES we got a 60% refund (which doesn't cover the 12 days left but still was definitely better than no refund!) Thank you again for all your comments & stories being shared also! So sorry I cannot reply to them all but I appreciate every single one of you and our lil community here 🥲😊💖
I say NO REFUND
I'm glad you're sharing this experience with us. Thank goodness you trusted your own instinct and left that place.
Thank you. I'm super grateful for how everything turned out - even this learning experience which gave me more insight and awareness! 🙂
I was working at the hospital years ago and I did the same things to newborn. 3-4 years later I worked in rural area and studied natural child birth and breastfeeding. You cannot imagine the regret I had after knowing all of those things, knowing we didn't let mother and her newborn room in together and do everything as long as the baby feed. I have become breastfeeding counsellor and advocate for 10+ years now, helping many mother, but every time i heard this kind of story, i still feel guilty. Glad to know you decided the best for yourself and Leo. Kind of surprise this kind of situation still happen in Korea. But Thank you for sharing this through your channel! Hope more mother can do their research and decide what is best for their baby.
I'm so glad that you actually left that care center. There have been extensive studies that show a detrimental impact of maternal deprivations on children's future mental health and social life, so I'm glad you made the decision and not to leave Leo there by himself.
Finally updating you guys on the story!
Hope you enjoy the catchup with me xx
Can I be your nanny? How I wish but I am here in the Philippines 😔
You were not being dramatic. You made the right decision.
This is complete understandable. I am a midwife in the U.K. and this is surprising to hear as we encourage breastfeeding and bonding with baby in the postpartum period. Perhaps consider having your baby in a western country like Australia or the U.K. for baby number 2.
If you have disposable income to have private care with such elements upheld.
In terms of the belly button, it sounds like your baby had an infection if the belly button was green. You should clean the belly button with cool, boiled water. No creams or oils. But I’m sure everything is all well now.
Fuckkkk that! Jen you handled it well! If anyone tries to force feed my baby especially my newborn, I’m choking them! Lol You were not wrong for feeling the way you did! You should be able to be with your baby and feed your baby whenever and however you want! That place sounds like they’re just out for the money because if you think about it, them very rich women are used to not having to do anything so they pay a high price for others to do their job as a mom and probably don’t even think about how their baby is being treated as long as they are good. But then there’s moms like you who actually do care. I think that’s the real difference. So these workers aren’t used to moms who actually care about being a mom and actually care about how their baby is being treated. That’s my honest opinion because rich ppl are very spoiled and do very little on their own.
You’ve been uploading since July but didn’t get any notif so bad ToT
My mum always said it's best to leave the hospital as soon as you can and go home, otherwise when you've been pampered and helped for awhile, it's more difficult when you get home and suddenly have to do everything yourself. (We're Aussie)
I guess everyone's different, but she stayed in the hospital for I think almost a week with my older sister, 2 days with me, and literally less than 24 hours with my younger brother.
Good on you for respectfully standing up for yourself Jen. I think you were both loving but wise and firm in a difficult sleep deprived and hormone fuelled situation!
Thank you for sharing your experience, Ms. Jen! I got teary-eyed when I saw baby Leo awake and alone in the baby monitor. 😢 take care always! ❤️
Jen, I’m so sorry you’ve been through that. My blood boiled listening to how cold they treat you and especially your baby. How can a postpartum facility be so inhumane and not hospitable at all is bollocks. You are strong for following your maternal instinct and overall be so nice towards the staffs even though they mistreated you. Godforbid if it were me I would have lashed out instantly lol. For so much money that you paid to get a service, they didn’t deliver at all. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope you and your baby are happy and healthy.
I really appreciated hearing your experience. I’m still single, but I like learning about these things in case I ever end up having a baby in Korea. The more you know the better choices you can make. I’m sorry you had such a difficult time there. ㅠㅠ I think I would have felt the same as you and left early.
As a mother myself the first moment with your child is something very special.. good for you for standing up for your family connection!!! Your mother instinct was on 💯 the bonding is necessary!!!
Context and story do not match... I have gone to the same Joriwan 3 times --- before going one needs to think about why you are going there and understand that being controlling is not important, if you do not feel free within yourself how would you allow the place you hired to take care of you? You go to a Joriwan to be taken care of... It is like going to being a high roller in Vegas and not allowing valet, concierge and personal services take care of you! If you reject them, than the experience is gone! BTW the Joriwan concept is practice in many Asian countries ( Taiwan, China, Japan, Singapore, Indonesia, etc) DUH if you did not know!
Woooow Jen I totally understand you left after 2 days. I don't think you're being "difficult", I think it's a good thing you stood up for yourself. Also thanks for sharing so honestly again ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story Jen! As a new mom in the US, I was always curious about the Korean postpartum centers as I've heard so much about them. Your video was very insightful.
I am a korean american nurse and I felt the cultural difference even with my mom. She had differing views on how to feed my baby when I gave birth this January, and although I very much appreciated her help and there were many things that she did that were beneficial, there were times when the “korean” way of doing things was simply not clinically correct or evidence based. That said, I am a but surprised that a post partum care center would be that ignorant to the benefits of breastfeeding, and they didn’t recognize there needs to be a supply and demand in effect for new moms to start breastfeeding successfully… bottle feeding a baby because “they’re hungry” and not latching baby to mom is detrimental to BF. I’m glad you left, they were obviously not putting bonding between mother and baby first.
I totally understand with the notion of even having cultural clashes with our own mums! To be honest, although I was quite sad that we had no one to help, deep down I knew it was probably easier for us to do it on our own due to these potential cultural/ generational differences I have with my parents too (they insisted we just give formula rather than breastmilk, as just one example) I love & respect my parents but definitely don't see eye to eye on many topics so in the end I was just so grateful with how things worked out 🤍😄
There’s nothing wrong with bottle feeding, fed is best.
However it is an issue if the mom wants to BF and the nurses go against the mothers wishes.
indeed that particular “care center” was careless
blessings to Jen & Oppa for leaving n doing it on their own
It’s not really the “korean” way. It’s actually the western way adopted by Koreans. The British and Americans really shamed the Koreans over their breasts and breast feeding when they occupied Korea. Korea hasn’t really moved on from that experience and are behind in what the west is doing now in terms of breast feeding education.
You did the right thing 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻the place sounded like a nightmare with those workers 🤦♀️
Hi Jen, just one minor misconception on this postpartum care for moms, it is a common practice in the Chinese culture as well. It is not so much of a 'pampering' after giving birth, but it is more like resting and rejuvenating your body after 9 tough months of pregnancy. The fact that giving birth is quite a painful and torturous process for a woman's body, so the month after giving birth is being considered the 'crucial period'.There are a lot of such postpartum centres for moms in Asia countries like China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore etc just to name a few. The main objective is to bring the body back into 'balance', and because women lose so much blood after labor, taking care of the body after pregnancy is really important. =)
I shouldn't have used the word 'pampering' (was just quoting what Will would say to me haha - he tends to use dramatic words). Yes, it is definitely what you have described, and thanks for better explaining it for others! Postpartum care is certainly crucial :) my next video will be about it!
It is called confinement month
Jori is a Chinese word. It means sit month. Jo is sit in Chinese , ri is month. It means you sit or confine the whole month after birth. So it’s very common in Chinese culture. Prob originated from China, because the words are Chinese.
The chinese would hire a confinement nanny for the entire month for about 2 to 3k and she does all the cooking and assisting during the whole month. Some chinese custom doesnt even allow you to wash your hair at all. lol
The rooms in the Korean joriwon are so hot! 26-27 Celsius for moms. I sweat (which I think is the point), but midday when the sun is out (both times I was/am here in January), my room gets to 90 F which I don't know in Celsius. I crack a window to get it back down to 80 F. I only wear fuzzy sleep socks sometimes, but other moms wear leggings and the sleep socks. How?!? I consider this place pampering though. My treat after crazy birth. Ha.
I'm so sad for your experience! It's already stressful and exhausting to be a new mom but to deal with that sounds so awful. I'm Korean-American and I actually had a really good experience with all three of my children at two different 조리원. First, they were the 조리원 in the same building as my birth hospital so the doctors and nurses that helped me through my pregnancy and my labor were the ones taking care of me and my baby. When I researched post partum care centers and visited them, the bigger ones were definitely more systematic- they had their own schedule for when you could feed your baby or when you could visit your baby and I was really not thrilled about that. I also think they're way more strict now because of covid-19. My 조리원's were super flexible. They left me alone- other than one check in the morning and one in the evening, they told me to call them if I needed anything. And they would come almost right away if I needed new ice or some help. I could have my baby in my room for as long as I wanted, they could sleep with me. I got a lot of support to breast feed- they even had a separate lactation specialist. The nursery would call me and say "your baby is awake now, would you like to come breastfeed?" And I felt like they really respected my wishes and my babies' natural sleeping and feeding schedule. I feel like I got really lucky especially when I talk to other moms and hear stories like yours. I just wanted to share that it is possible to find post-partum care centers in Korea (one of my centers was in Seoul and the other is in Gimpo) that's more open to Western ideas of birth and post-partum care.
Thank you for sharing ! I'm so glad to hear a different story from mine and that there are ones like this in Korea! 🤍
Wow that sounds awesome. I live in America. I had twins and no help. I had to do everything myself. I was able to breastfeed for three months, so I did pretty ok, I did supplement formula. It was not easy but I think that some more help would have been so nice. I want more help next time.
Hello :) it sounds really amazing !! Could I ask you the name of those 조리원? Thanks a lot :)
You're so patient. I would've raised hell at those workers.. good for you for getting out. That is what was best for your family. Truly.
I don't know what it is, your voice is so relaxing. Definitely is a cultural thing, traditional chinese postpartum practices also often don't place priority on breastfeeding support. You got out of there quick enough to avoid falling into deep postnatal depression.
Thank you sooo much for sharing your experience. As a person with Korean background I also think the roughness of ajumas and making everyone do the same thing is a cultural thing that is a bit hard for us to wrap our heads around. Maternity care Centre sounds like an amazing thing in theory. But I also would love to be able to spend more time with my baby, to move at my own speed, and to rest, when I actually need to rest, not when I’m told to. This video was definitely very useful. Waiting for more videos on your postpartum experience in Korea 🥰 And wishing you and Leo all the best 😘
Good call Mama. Your instincts definitely played a crucial role.
I’m glad you stood up for you and your baby.
I would have left too, the most important place for a newborn is skin to skin with the mother, so that you can learn each other and get the latch down, this time is very critical for bonding and for feeding. I like the idea of post natal massage, and also meal preparations for new moms, but I don't like the separation, maybe if mom wants it, but if she doesn't want it then they should give private time for the new family. I am from the USA, so definitely there is a cultural difference in my understanding. I think that the idea of Joriwon or post natal care center is wonderful, but practices just need to be tweaked to fit the mom's preferences, this type of postnatal care could especially help women of color in the USA we have high infant mortality and high complications after birth.Thanks for sharing.
Skin to skin is not practiced in most maternity centers in Korea. Your baby is born and they take the baby to a newborn room with other babies. It is sad but it’s a cultural practice. A lot of Korean moms get overwhelmed in Western hospitals where they have the baby with them in the room after birth because they think they can’t rest and it’s not what they expect culturally
I think this would be very help for moms. As a black mom I was concerned about my life and was grateful for the attention I got in Korea. I do agree that they need to support moms wanting to do skin to skin and breastfeed
Dear Jen, I feel so sad for you. For me the human contact , sensitivity and the contact you named I am totally agree with you. Mentality is such important and everyone needs to feels love from someone else... especially newborns because they build their confidence in love that parents give them .
You are such a nice person with gorgeous heart. You have all my respect for trying to do the best for Leo. Definitely I would make the same as you did.
Thanks for being honest about your feelings.
Thank you for this heart-to-heart sharing! Looking for the next videos for care and tips! ❤️❤️
:((( this made me really sad! i’m glad you made the decision for yourself and baby. this sounds like such a scary experience, especially for a first time mum
You were too nice to them so they had an attitude. I don’t think that Korean moms would take that attitude, especially if they paid that much. There are maternity centers in China and they are very popular as well, massages, Chinese medicine and so on.
Glad to hear that you leave. If you have that feeling that something is not right, you need to act straight away. Mother’s instinct never wrong. I had that experience before and I’m so regretful that I didn’t act quickly and more straightforwardly. The behavior that you experienced is really common in asia. Where every workers only do things according to the “manual” that exist for so long that every new theories are being considered wrong. You did a really good decision jen. Hope you enjoy your journey with leo. And I pray for your family health 🙏🏻
Hello! Totally stumbled across your video, but I really enjoyed it! I have a lot of Korean friends and even my mother in law is Japanese, and I struggled a lot with her especially after having my first child. Although it's a different culture, I think the notion to try and pamper and help with EVERYTHING after birth really bothered me! Our relationship is much better now, but I feel a bit relieved that my feelings towards the help during postpartum was more of a cultural difference than anything. I questioned myself for a long time, like "Why am I so upset over her help?" Lol
There is such a big cultural difference. I'm sorry to hear you go through all that frustration especially being a first time mom. Wish you the best! ❤️
What a stressful experience! I'm so glad you left and that everything turned out ok. Birth is stressful enough without all of that unhelpful interference.
love hearing you stories Jen! I'm here for all your contents!
Omg Jen ur not insane this sounds like a horrible experience. So glad you made the decision to leave that place!!!
Oh dear I’m so sorry that you went through all of that Jen🥺 Definitely must have been upsetting..it’s sad and heartbreaking even to just hear all that you’ve been through. And thank you for sharing your personal experience, but yet clarifying so well that you’re not generalizing nor defining Korean maternity care centers from your experience. We know that you don’t mean bad - ever. It really is surprising but also helpful to know all that you’ve shared! Being a tck (third culture kid) myself I totally understand how the cultural differences can play a huge part. What you’ve shared is definitely good to know as a heads up on what can happen. Really appreciate it! I feel like I’ve earned a honest and heart to heart story share from an 언니:) Thank you and blessings🤍
Thank you so much for sharing! Please continue to share more about your baby/mom journey, really enjoy all these videos. ❤️
oh Jen!!! I'm sorry u had to go through this but I believe u did good leaving, peace is all!!!!
In Malaysia they are called ‘confinement centres’ and usually the mum stays 28-30 days there. Another service that is popular is called ‘confinement lady’ where someone comes to your house (7 days, 14 days, 28 days and some cases 44 days) and takes care of mum + baby. You can choose a half day, full day or a even stay in package.
I think it's a cultural and age hierarchy thing. I know that for many parts in Asia, older people expect to be obeyed and respected by younger people. Older people are also not sensitive or open minded about accepting feedback or instructions or modern ways of caring for the baby.
Thank you for sharing this. I think in every country or cultural there is a similar experience with new moms. In the US they very much focus on breastfeeding and having baby with mom. They also do come in every few hrs or more while you are in the hospital to check on mom or baby. It was so hard to get any rest at the hospital. Even after coming home and with family around to help there can sometimes be arguments on how to take care of a newborn due to generational gap. I was very stressed because of this after my first child was born. Glad to hear that you were able to get through this and so proud of what an awesome mom you are!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm a half Korean-American who's lived in Korea for 10 years (currently in the US). I've been interested in joriwon so I'm glad you touched upon the cultural differences. Now I know that it likely wouldn't be for me since I'm extremely private and would also want to be with my baby 24/7. You made some great points and I don't have any negative views about joriwon, I feel like you made a very informative video!
Thank you for sharing this! I am a British woman pregnant in Korea and I am really nervous about the joriwon especially as my Korean is not good. I am reluctant to get a helper because our apartment is so small and messy I dong want to get judged ㅠㅠ but this experience at joriwon sounds so hard...
Also thank you for talking about the socio-economic chasm and past of Korea. This is a very real thing and I am sorry it affected your life in hiring helpers. 😔
Just want to tell you that you did the best decision. Moms always knows what's best for their babies! Do everything that you feel best for your baby. May you and your mini family always be healthy and happy!
Awh Jen, thank you for sharing this with us. You’re really brave to talk about this. Wish I can give you a hug and a punch to the maternal nurses.
What!! I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience. I’m a new NICU nurse in the U.S and we always advocate for babies to be breastfed/have expressed breast milk… (unless they have some kind of underlying issue of being unable to do so or if mama is taking some medications that are contraindicated,etc)
So sorry you had to go through this experience…. T__T I’ve been watching your videos for years!! I love your content ❤️
And how can they turn away precious precious colostrum?! Ugh that makes me so upset
I LOVE this motherhood series!! Please do more!! I'm so curious as an American what your Korean experience is ❤️
Thanks for sharing. I teared when I saw the snapshots of Leo in the "box". I am glad you left and gave him more of your time at the comfort of your home!
Such culture shock! I’m a first time mom and the first thing my mom told me was to make sure they never take my baby away from me, either my husband goes with him wherever or have him next to me 24/7. Besides that girl everything you mention I would have been freaking out! I don’t know what it was but the second my baby was born my mother instincts amplified and I became a lioness protecting her cub. No one was aloud to touch him😅 (You are a great mom and everything that happened to you is insane)
You are such a kind and sweet person, sorry you had this happen to you! I'm glad it all worked out in the end.
That's insane. I'm so sorry you went through that and had to pay for that terrible experience.
OMG, worse experience ㅠㅠ feel sorry for you... Great decision indeed! Lots of love for you ♡♡♡
I'm so sorry this happened to you. 😭 But I'm happy things turned out well after. The hospital i chose in the US didn't have the best facility. But the nurses and care i received made it worth it. They were extremely pro-breastfeeding. I had a back to back pregnancy. Our first baby girl passed away an hour after delivery due to potter's syndrome. Then we conceived 6 weeks later. We weren't trying either time as I've been unable to conceive for 20 years.
I'm thankful this hospital had what they call the "Golden hour", which you keep your baby on your chest for an hour immediately after delivery. You also keep the baby in the room with you.
Unfortunately, because of my age, health, and trauma to body from from both pregnancies, the stress caused me to not produce any milk. I was so discouraged, and I cried so much because I wanted to breastfeed so desperately. The hospital would not allow formula, so my baby was starving and developed jaundice. I felt like such a failure. We finally met a pediatrician who brought formula to us and helped so much. After going home I also didn't have any help. I'm thankful God brought us through all of this. My son is 18 months and so healthy and energetic.
Ahh i relate to u about the class differences..
I just had an experiences where i shopped in a store (and i bought quite big sum).. they had someone to open my door, even though i was capable to open the door. I thought to myself, “what service!” But then the person behind me went out n no one opened the door (they bought one/two things). I was dressing nicely because i came from somewhere at that time and the person behind me dress casually (like home clothings). Idk if those factors were the reason.. but i am not comfortable with those treatment.. i was expecting the store would do the same thing to those who even ask for direction.
That’s y I am still not comfortable to have someone to clean for me, even though it’s natural thing where i live now. Idk what to do when they clean for u. My friend would tell me to just rest.. but i feel like i wanna rest in my space where no one is around.. 😔
Maybe coz i stayed in the US during my teen years throughout my early adulthood years.. i learned to take care of what’s mine by myself.
I was so upset when I watched your instagram stories and heard what happened. I'm so sorry you and your family went through that, Jen. I'm so happy you and Leo are happy and healthy now. Leo is so big when you hold him. Such a healthy baby. Also William was so sweet and considerate to plan your post-partum care with you. I can't imagine the disappointment and upset you two felt at your joriwon experience
Everything you've said is completely reasonable. You and William wanted to be involved and there's nothing wrong with that. You're such an empathetic person that I can't imagine you being rude even at your wit's end.
You should definitely try out HOUM next time! It's a hospital in Gangnam, we gave birth there and stayed there for 4 more nights for postpartum care. It was magical, the baby was with us all the time and they really worked on breasfeeding and latching!
That really sounds like a nightmare. I live in the states and my mom was there to help me for 3 weeks, it allowed me to put all my focus on my daughter and heal and by the time she left I was physically healed ( emotionally it took a lot longer to get back to normal 😂 14months postpartum and I finally didn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster) however I can’t imagine how anyone would think it’s healthy for the baby and mom to be apart, I understand giving mom a break but it’s odd because the baby and mom have been together for the 9 months of pregnancy, what would make someone think the mom or baby would be at peace if all of a sudden they were separated? Any who I’m happy you didn’t allow them to continue to mistreat you, I would have done the same thing and left. 💕
thanks for sharing. sorry you had that experience. im not sure about asian...probably maybe korean culture? ...im asian and i feel you...39wks and no plans to go to a joriwon :) bcz of reasons you said....my fears realized :( im glad it is over and you had a great post partum at home
I'm not a mother but your story broke my heart, especially seeing little Leo looking around, lost. You handled the situation with such grace. I would have felt infuriated. I'm glad to hear you listened to your intuition and was assertive enough to push for what you wanted.
I am glad you left that place
You made the right choice that's best for you and Leo. That place is not helping you rest, both mind nor physically. Wish your baby healthy 😊
We have joriwon in Taiwan as well. I think it is def an Asian thing. My sister-in-law and couple friends went there after they gave birth. I think it’s kinda based on the price you choose and they offer you different types of serves (range from $200-600/day). Most of them are pretty pricey indeed! My friends did enjoy it lol however I’m so glad you made a choice for your baby. Always trust a mom’s instinct!! 😇😇 Wish you and your family the best!!
No you're not rampling, it's expressing your feelings and emotions as a Mom, it's all good we have to listen and understand the connection between a Mother and her baby is the MOST wonderful experience you'll every get to experience, patience love and allowing the nature of life to unfold is a beautiful thing, keep doing what you do the theraphy of all of this will be something for you and your baby that unfolds a "True Love" of life!! God Bless
It’s been a difficult year, you chose what’s best in that moment. First time parents are under a lot of stress due to the inexperience, the urge to avoid messing things from the beginning and the gap between generations on baby matters. Don’t feel bad for not getting what you expected from reality, we all have been there in some way or another. No one is going to hurt your baby with a mom like you, staying alerted about every single thing that’s going on with the baby is the best protection you can give him 👏
I just gave birth to my second born here in seoul 4 mos ago, and had my second joriwon experience..and I get what you mean😭.. i think part of it is that you wanted more privacy with your baby, and more support with bfing from day 1 of joriwon. The other part i think- is how odd and abnormal the staff was at the joriwon you described. And from what i know of korean joriwons, the emphaiss is placed much more heavily on the maternal recovery than the bonding of mother and child. In terms of bfing, it really depends on the staff and the atmosphere of each joriwon.. the one that I stayed at (2wks, twice with each of my children) really supported bfing.. and if i wanted i could go and bf my child from day 1.(which i did, and for 19 mos after that..!) I can’t believe the disdain and ridicule you experienced with some of the joriwon staff.. it is completely abnormal and i got very emotional for a moment hearing you describe your first attempt at bfing in your joriwon room with the staff being so demeaning and unsupportive🤬. Someone like that should never work at a joriwon. Kudos to you and leo for getting through the first couple of really rough weeks of bfing!!! I know firsthand how difficult it is to get things going. It SO does not come naturally, although it’s the most natural thing to do to feed and nourish and bond with your child. :)
Most women don’t have their milk come in for a couple days. This is normal.
It breaks my heart that you had such a terrible experience! Those first few days (which can feel like weeeeeeks) are so emotional and exhausting. While it's true that different cultures have different norms, I'm still 😭😭. I'm so glad you didn't stay and made the decision to switch to a situation that was better for you and baby Leo.
Oh my, what a gorgeous baby!
😧🥺 omg that force feeding is so cruel. I think it was a good decision to leave ❤️❤️❤️❤️ you're a great mum
Oh, I can feel you!! I stayed for 5 days at the hospital and even though my baby stayed with me I was really stressed out and dreamed about going home. In Japan staff knocked the door and calling your name every time they get into the room, but the get into the room like every 30-40 minutes!! Nurses, cleaning leady, food, doctor etc etc.. even during night time. Once they came in around 23 pm when I and baby were sleeping and start speaking to me super loud(ok, in normal voice but it feels super loud when you finally make your baby sleep after rough time) , so I was like "shhhh be quite". Another time nurse came in at 4:00 am (!!!) To ask if my baby make the poo and give me advice to give him more formula because he was loosing weigth( which is normal in first days.. ). I remember different nurses saying different things regarding formula volume and breathfeeding so I was feelinh really upset as well. It was like I want my baby be starving.. while I just wanted to do BF..
That is what a lot of 조리원’s do and what Korean traditional postpartum culture is like (mom away from the baby to recover). I wished you and your husband would have looked into this but most women don’t know what to expect, and it is not your fault. In Korea formula has been pushed heavily since the 90’s and even now you rarely see anybody on tv breastfeed. Most moms just give colostrum and stop bf altogether. I am glad you made the best decision for your baby. Congrats!
I have similar experience with you for my first child which lead to blues (in confinement centre and home). But you are much braver to speak out and take action. The experience is really bad. So i take care of my second one, lock myself in a room and dont allow ppl in except my hubby and first child. We hired cook to come in daily to cook. We are so much happier. Second bb end up calmer and very adorable compared to my first boy who got extra sensitive and emotional. Maybe due to me giving out that energy 😂
I am so hurt with you while you told your story. I could totally feel your emotions. It really sounded like you weren't getting the support you needed. Especially, you were a new mom and didn't know much, you were probably hoping to get helpful and informative tips on how to breastfeed but they just brushed you off. Plus, you didn't have family by your side too :( (Probably due to COVID situation) I'm just so sadden that you had such a terrible experience after giving birth. You should of been able to rest and have your baby by your side. I can't even imagine how much stress you were having during that time. I would of had probably broke down and cried. Anyways, I'm just glad that you left early and were able to spend the much needed time with your baby. At least, you experienced it and know what to do next time. Sending you the delayed love and support that you should had gotten. 💕😘😘😘
Wow you are so pretty and your compassion for baby makes you seem like a goddess. (I'm a mom too and I feel that)
Glad you left that place, I would too!
Ah dear Jen, my heart breaks hearing on your experience..I'm so sorry, and thank God for your courage to leave for home early on! Praise God for helping Leo to grow into a healthy and happy boy 😁 Thanks for sharing your experience so we can be better informed!
More Video please! Miss u 💖.
Shame Jen, that is just terrible! Absolutely horrific experience, that's not how the first few days are supposed to go with our new babas 😭😭😭
Yes, I don't think it should and I hope this video prevents it from happening to others with the pre-warning/info! Needless to say, if we ever have a second, we will be doing things very differently!
I had the same issue in an Australian private hospital. My daughter was also in ICU, they would get angry at me when I was trying to breastfeed saying I took too long, got upset at me when I couldn’t pump milk. I always had people coming in my room so I could never sleep. No family visiting due to Covid. And I had to stay there for a full week (which I was lucky for) until my daughter and myself were healthy enough to finally leave.
OH GOSH.... the belly button/placenta cord part just broke my heart for Leo T______T i'm glad to hear that it healed without any issues, but i can't imagine the HORROR you must've felt!!! i also have the western mindset (banana: yellow on the outside, white on the inside), but my husband being a pure fob constantly tells me how good joriwons are and really wishes me to do it when i get pregnant in the future. knowing how emotionally sensitive i am, especially considering that giving birth & post-partum are such emotional events, it may be better that i either educate myself more with jeong or just give birth in 'Murica LOL
Listening to your experience at the postpartum care centre make me remember there is a kdrama about mum life at this type of care centre🤣 and it was pretty brutal😂
Hey Jen :), Thanks so much for this video and sharing your experience. I'm so sad to hear that you didn't have the experience that you were hoping for and also PAYED for ofc haha, but I thank God that it all worked out in the end and that you, Leo and Will are doing well :)! He is really such a good God!!
As a NIC nurse myself and dealing with many mum's post giving birth, I am very aware of how essential good communication is and daily updates is for our mum's on their baby's condition (even something as simple as when they last fed). Also with that, how important giving advice and reassurance is during this time when mums are so emotionally heightened. I see first hand how empowering it can be for mums and dads (especially first time parents) and how rewarding it can be also for me :). A big part of my job is to advice parents on how to care for their baby, especially for mum's how to produce colostrum, the benefits of it, how to BF (if they so wish to) and how to increase their milk supply. It takes alot of work especially when you just have given birth and may be in alot of pain, but if your willing to put the work in you can do it! And to me you were more than ready haha. It's really sad to hear that the Joriwon team (adjuma's) weren't supportive of it all with your BF journey :( but it makes me soo happy to hear that you continued and did it on your own and managed to achieve it :D well done!!
I am also aware that the healthcare systems are very different in Korea and in the UK, but I wished that there was a way for BF advice + advice for parents to be more incorporated/ available in the maternity settings as I believe it is fundamental for parents to have.
I can tell from this video you did A LOT of research, had A LOT of patience and is such a dedicated and loving mummy to your baba Leo. I'm so happy for you and your mummy journey! I'm always supporting your content, cant wait to see what you have instore for us :D
Stay safe and blessed always~~ Angie xx
I can definitely see the cultural differences. So sorry you had that experience though. 🥺 They should be listening to the mother not what they would want to do. Afterall, it is still a business they are operating. Openly listening is important and they were not respecting you. I'm glad Will and you listened to your needs and had a much better experience afterwards. But I'd like to correct you on one thing, although Western society is all about independence, people do still say 'this one is the last one! This one is really popular' etc. to entice buyers to have the urgency to buy something. We def won't get offended. That would be an individual reaction, if they do. 😅
Fantastic Mama! Trust your instincts and know your rights Mamas! 💕💕
You should consider starting a podcast!
I totally understand her. I also would have left. Especially new mothers need to be handled with extra love, care and empathy.
i'm so shocked on the pricing and service provided. sorry about your horrible experience. i wish they were more supportive and encouraging with your breastfeeding journey. at the united states, i stayed 2 days postpartum in the hospital. The baby was in the clear box next to me at all times, so I can nurse him whenever I can. The nurse only suggested to help out with the baby if I needed some break. I enjoyed every second I got to spend with him.
This is SO different from Norway, well they had the same mentality when I was born, 40 years ago. Then Mothers was on bedrest for 7 days and the hospital took the babies at night. When I gave birth, they left us alone with the baby for 4 hours, then they took us to a hospital hotell( kinda like where you stayed, only we called the Staff if we wanted help). They encourage sleeping in the same bed, and skin against skinn as much as you can. I had a nurse come inn and help with breastfeeding, but the choice is up to women if she like to breastfeed or not. But in Norway they recomend to breastfeed (or bottle )until the baby is 6 months old, then food. We have something called 'breastfeedhelp', it's groups of women helping New moms, so they come to your house for free and help you as much as you need to get the breastfeeding going.
In Singapore, we are able to engaged a confinement nanny agency whom they are specially trained to take care of newborn and cook confinement meals for new mommy. Nanny will stay in together with us in our home for 28 days.
As a mother of 3, I truly uds how difficult and vulnerable we are at postpartum.
Based on what you have shared, I felt that the people working for you, at that place is unprofessional, they shld have allocate 1-2 fixed nanny for you and baby shld room together with you. Felt so sad that you have to go thru all these unnecessary stress :(
Take care and congratulations on ur newborn!
Thanks for sharing your journey Jen! China has this too very very expensive but very good I heard. Have your next baby(if you ever want to) in Aus! I’m from melb and my baby is currently 3months old. The support we get here is great and every advice is science based.
Your oppa really love you jen. thumbs up to grumpy oppa
wow. first of all thank you for sharing.
I have a child. she is a toddler now so i understand how confused it is as first time parent. my post natal was extremely hard. i didn’t have my parents here and i had a c section. i was in a lot of pain and confused with what to do with breastfeeding. i wish someone give me compassion advise as I am confused and try to be logical. i think the most difficult part for me was i didn’t trust myself. i felt everyone had their two cents and say everything will be fine. but it wasn’t. i rather someone told me it is bitter so i wouldn’t be so confused. My baby was great thou. once i trust myself and give my self a grace things get better. I get how you feel. i felt so lost first months. would really appreciate the compassion and logic explanation. I love my child. she is so sweet and she is a toddler now but it wasn’t easy to say the least. it was extremely hard but it is very rewarding. Thank you again for sharing
As a person who works in this specific type of healthcare facility, I can understand why the staff at the joriwon (esp since it's a high end place) treated you that way without even getting to know you and your needs with Leo. People who go to private/high end healthcare places tend to really abuse the staff because of how much they're paying and because it's related to their child. Also, it could be due to differences in culture too. You might think that you're helping the staff by giving them some direction on how you want things done but to the staff, it's basically "gosh, another entitled parent again, telling me how to do my job like they went through school and training for this". I feel really bad for both you and the staff because it's clear that you just had some specific needs and needed guidance with these needs, you weren't trying to tell them off or make their lives harder and on the staffs' end, it's clear that people who went to this joriwon have abused the staff quite a bit that any form of vaguely negative feedback given to the staff is received with hostility. I'm glad you decided to do what's right for you and Leo because that's most important!! Hope that you and the family continue to stay healthy 💕
I appreciate this perspective a lot as someone who works in a similar profession, and as someone who is a part of two different cultures. So I can relate to both parties. I hope people read this and take some time to understand.
Totally agree with you. Sometimes we need to trust and let go.
I think it’s a better just stay longer in hospital than the care center. It’s about 500 US dollars a day here in dubai. Great facilities and professionals… food was nice 2. (Well, not 5* restaurants stands but healthy and balanced). Service is top notch 👍💜
Ugh Jen my heart ached for you guys 😭
I've never heard of a Postpartum care center but I do know that it is very important to start helping mother with breast feeding ( if that's what they've chosen) immediately or asap. For that amount of money they should have been catering to your wishes and needs for you and baby.They're suppose to help and make you feel safe while learning how to be a brand new mother. You absolutely should've been able to keep baby in your room if you wanted. I'm so sorry you had this experience. I can't imagine having that many different people coming in and out and all with their own opinions about whats best for your baby. All I can say is they're lucky your mother wasn't there because I have a sneaky suspicion she would have turned them around but quick. I know I would have if it was my daughter and that would have been at any facility much less a high end one. I've never heard of such a thing and can't imagine making a first time mother feel like a nuisance and worried. Shame on them!
I have only heard about this centres through the K-Drama 'Birthcare Centre'. I didn't know what it was like in reality. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us and talking us through everything🥰❤
I'm sorry that they gave you that kind of attitude. Especially with the breastfeeding. That was not nice of them at all! I can only imagine how you must have felt😭🥺
Where did you watch that show? I would love to watch it..
It's available on Viki :)
I’m so sorry that was your experience Jen, if it’s any consolation, I stayed at a premium room in a private hospital in Australia & it was a similar experience. The breastfeeding thing isn’t much better .in hospital in Australia. I don’t understand why in 2021 society does not get that babies need their mums 24/7 and BF support is actually hard to come by. I left hospital after 3 days due to similar reasons. You are both amazing parents xx
Watching this just confirmed my initial thoughts of not going to Post-partum Centers and instead go home after giving birth. You can focus more with your baby and you can just comfortably call somebody to assist you inside your own home. You can save money and there would be no issue when it comes to privacy
you made the right decision.
In Malaysia, our postpartum care normally will be 28 days some will prolong to 40 days for mums to recover better. Over here, there are older generations who do not quite get the idea of breastfeeding and often they will keep saying that our babies are not fed enough (as newborn eats every 2 hours) which is not true, it's just breastmilk is easier to digest. However, breastfeeding has been getting more common and encouraged nowadays in my country and I'm glad I received support from the right person.
Wow. I am so sorry that you experience that at your most vulnerable moment after birth. I gave birth at a public hospital in Australia and had the best experience ever. The midwife came in (with a knock) every other hour for the first few days to gently teach me and encourage me to breastfeed. Even helping to massage. They were really nice and offered so much help and advice, answered all my questions, and it was all free. My mom said to me that we were lucky to live in Australia with these kinds of services and help. My sister-in-law gave birth in a VIP room in Asia (I won't say which country) and spent lots of money and did not get the same service as I did although she did get a nice room and probably food. I think it's great to educate and encourage new moms as we all do need it. All the best Jen. You did the right thing to leave a place that is unhelpful/toxic to parents. Mothers knows best.
youre experience is so crazy! i would've left too. This makes me thankful for my experience. I literally slept with my baby on me constantly to do skin to skin. I hope that if you have another baby, you're experience is a lot better.
Love youuuu❤️❤️❤️
Wow! I am so sorry that you had to go through that! What a nightmare! I’m so glad things finally got better! I had my daughter over 20 yrs ago in the US without my parents able to be present. Even though we had a person to advise us with breastfeeding because I have flat nipples, they really weren’t that helpful. I remember sitting up at 2 am with my daughter trying to feed her. My daughter was in between diaper sizes and the diapers were leaking. All the blankets and pajamas were wet and needed to be washed. My husband had finished a paper for his graduate school class and was finally sleeping. I didn’t want to wake him up because he had class the next morning but I was so tired I just sat there and cried and tried to nurse her. Having somebody to cook and clean and do laundry would have been heaven. I burned so much food! My inlaws came 2 weeks in, my mother-in-law is originally from Korea, and they brought mink blankets and baby jewelry. They really did nothing to help until I came down with the flu. My temp was 102 and my mother-in-law kept covering me up even though I was too hot. She was trying to be helpful, but really wasn’t. I finally just stayed upstairs so that I could be cool and get some sleep. I pumped milk and had my husband feed our daughter so she wouldn’t get sick. My mother was finally able to come when my daughter was a month old. That was actually helpful. I told my husband that we were going to be there for our daughter. Even if I am not around for some reason, I have already made lists of things to have on hand, tips, and lists of things to do interspersed with encouragement.