I’m seeing a lot of comments about the “no crying” 😆😭 here’s more on that: In the past Mothers we’re told to rest their eyes so no reading, crying (nowadays the strict traditional pui yuets will say no screens). It stems from traditional Chinese medicine and the belief that the liver is linked to the eyes. It’s said that the large loss of blood during childbirth may weaken the eyes because blood is related to the Liver. We didn’t follow this rule, I believe most don’t nowadays, but things like goji berries were a big part of my diet to help with eye health.
Loving the all video! I would really feel happy and glad to try that out! Wow looks a great experience to have and learn from 🥰 you will be a great mom 😊
This is basically what midwives were back in the olden days before they were ousted from the community by being labeled as “witches” during the witch hunts and men began to practice medical gynecology and eventually replace them
When my sister had her second baby it took 8 people to do what Carol did and even then with everyone combined it didn't go nearly as efficiently as this. Carol is a godsend
Girl, if I had had this kind of phenomenal care postpartum, my experience would have been completely different. America treats mothers like dirt. Made me cry watching this.
You're so right... I was staying in the NICU with my baby and the nurse yelled at me for bleeding on the hallway floor because the only bathroom was a shared public one in the hallway. And I was struggling to walk or stand after experiencing every trauma and complication possible. I was barely alive. And they also didn't allow any food or drink in the room. It was a living nightmare. I should have been still a patient. After a few days of this, I did end up collapsing and being readmitted but then was not allowed to see my baby for those 24 hours. So, I had to be let go again so I could go to the NICU which was just on another floor. But rules... The USA is more fucked up than most people understand. Especially healthcare. It's worse than anyone is willing to admit. Truly nightmarish. And I have excellent insurance and the hospital is rated as one of the best in the country. So... I'm pretty sure everyone else is just dying. We do have some of the highest maternal death. So... Great insurance means torture and barely surviving. Anything else? You just literally die. And, even in the NICU, we were still expected to do all the childcare tasks ourselves. The nurses were only there to respond to emergency type care. We did not sleep at all. And got no help or food or survival.
@Phoxcherry Amen and hallelujah! I’m not religious lol but I felt that really needed to be said. I think you are 100% correct. I feel for every single mother out there who feels alone doing a task that takes a village and lots and lots of love for the mother as well. The west could learn a whole lot from these traditions and it would help in every aspect.
@@hobocode this made my stomach turn and my heart ache. I am so incredibly sorry that you had to go through that, and even more sorry that it sounds like literally every other mother has to as well. That system is well broken.
After my c-section I came right home to dirty laundry and dishes. Literally walked in and didn't sit down because no one cleaned for me. My husband begged to go back to work right away. I was left alone to do everything. This tradition seems so special and amazing. So glad to see women support during the toughest part of our life journey.
@@Stevie-oy8zj i doubt she knew how he'd react that way. But yeah.... no more babies after that. And i think she should get herself snatched; save some money and move on when the child is older. But yeah............
As an American it blows my mind that women are actually treated so gently and kindly. Here in America, once you deliver that baby the countdown starts for how quickly they can get you up out the hospital bed and back to work
Oh, my god. I thought women all get 3-5 months maternity leave to recover. Here in my country, women get 158 days to recover and bond with their child. And in the first month, all family members will pay special attention to the mom and let her to recover.
@anhserc3534 I’m in China. The maternity leave is compulsory and the salary during the leave is paid by the government. The company can’t fire a woman who is pregnant or when she is in maternity leave. I think this pretty good for us to have babies, though many still don’t want to as they think it might reduce their career competition.
I actually like it. They pay respect to the mother and baby while in the west they treat birth like it's nothing. A mother should be given time to bond with her baby and relax
It's one of those things that reminds me that I'm super lucky to come from a family where your mom will try to come and stay with you for a month or so to help out. Humans aren't supposed to do this on their own. And, like anything new, having someone to have your back while you work through it all is super important.
@@user-K8T yeah my mom came to stay with us every time I had a baby, it was so good to have her with me. Mom never breast fed (“only poor people do that” was the thought about it back then) so she was very uncomfortable with it 😂 but otherwise she was awesome.
Sometimes people don't realize that postpartum care is as important as prenatal care. I mean you just pushed out a human being, that's very metal. Great that your body was taking care of, Carol seems like a great person to have by your side, and the food seems delicious.
THIS. Wish my country would realize this. The powers here just want women to make more tax payers, but provide little resources or respect to mothers, born babies, and motherhood. Glad to know there are other counties who do though! Gives me hope for the future.
Here in the US, I'm so grateful for my doula. She was there for both birth and postpartum and seriously kept us functional as a family. Taught my husband and i to be parents, truly. Don't know how we could have done it without her.
@@user-ow1qs7jo7f no one was talking about that, we're saying it needs to be normalized and spoken about. Also typically your family would do this for you, not a chef. So no need to fret.
Oh god, am I the only one that needs a month with Carol even without having a baby? I just need this woman to teach me how to take care of my body in such a sweet way 🥺
As a Chinese,i m so happy to see our tradition be promoted in this way.actually,not all Chinese women are able to afford such expensive care in professional Confinement Center after birth, it depends on family budget. Most of them are taken care by their elderly relatives at home,often by their mom or mother in law who are experienced
Hi dear please can u tell me what Chinese ladies put on wrap before binding wrap on stomach Eggs or what because I heard in China at 12th day of birth chience ladies put wrap around tummy but 1st they spread raw eggs on it and 1 other chience spice so I want to know all details please if u can tell me I will be very thankful to you
I teared up while watching this. I had really bad postpartum depression and would’ve loved this treatment and emotional support, sleep, massages, comfort, help with household chores ect. from other women. I don’t think I would’ve suffered from postpartum depression so much if where I lived prioritized us mothers. Thankfully other cultures prioritize mothers’ mental and physical health in the postpartum period. ❤️
It’s no wonder out young ladies don’t want to have babies any more. It’s very sad. I keep telling my daughters that I would come and help for a few weeks, it’s what my mom did for me.
My daughter is going through this right now. Her son is a little over two months old, she had induced C-section because she had very high blood pressure and she had a horrible flu so she was given birth on exactly the 37th week. Then they put so much pressure on her to make the baby gain weight. He was already a "preemie" born under stressful circumstances. Instead of allowing a more natural expansion of his tummy and his eating and appetite, they were forcing/stressing her to give him at least one liquid ounce per hour around the clock. Basically each feeding had to be so many ounces, if not she had to wake him up two hours later to complete what he didn't finish and start the new feeding, etc. She says it was so stressful she was in tears, he was in tears, the cat was in tears, the husband was in tears, I was in tears. It was no joke. Now the baby is nearly 3 months old and he is chunky and gorgeous. And she told me he naturally just started eating more. I can understand if there was an emergency situation, dehydration, other physical side effects of not getting enough food/fluids/nutrition, but that was NOT happening Her OB/GYN gave her a medication for postpartum but then they said that she had to find a regular psychiatrist and therapist because they were only equipped to do so much :( Part of me wishes I had the skills to do with this lovely lady did, I would have loved to have taken care of my daughter in that aspect, but understandably she was not feeling visitors for quite a while after her first experience. It made people sad, some of them got a little irritated, but I understood and respected it and she knew I was here for her at the drop of a dime. Needless to say it's been quite quite stressful and it often made me wonder if in America new mothers and babies should be handled differently
The biggest takeaway from this is emphasizing how focused on recovery the tradition is. Something we lost in the West especially in countries like the U.S. where there is no guaranteed maternity leave.
I an Chinese. China kind of lost it too. So does a lot of countries. look at Japan where people literally work themselves to death. Not trying to hate my own culture but also it shouldn't be glamourized. We Chinese too are sometimes worked to death. The abuse children face because parents want them to be the best is insane. One thing I love about the west for all its flaws is we recognize that people are different. Call it trying to be woke, but I like the care that the west (at least in Canada) give for neurodivergent people for example
US is the exception, not the example. In Finland parents are given a baby box (shown in the beginning of the video). The supplies and clothes are really good quality and most are domestic brands. Parental leave is nine months with full pay, the parents can decide how much each will take. They can also choose to continue their parental leave after the nine months, but they will only receive partial pay. If the pregnancy ends, but has lasted longer than 22 weeks, the woman is entitled to full paid maternity leave to recover, she is also entitled to the same maternity allowance the government bestows to all new mothers. The government will give a family allowance for each child every month until the child turns 17. For the first child it's about 95€/month, second 105€/month, third 135€, fourth 165€. So a family with four children would receive a monthly payment of 500€ from the government. Then remember that school is free, healthcare is free, children get a warm cooked proper meal at school (no fast food, the cooks actually cook) and daycare is heavily subsidised.
I had six weeks off (unpaid). I would have gone back to work sooner but I could not find a daycare that would take her until 6 weeks. I had to work two jobs so I could catch up on rent and medical bills while paying daycare. Such a depressing time of my life. I really don't know how I did not kill myself. Got very close. No family, just me and my boyfriend.
I need and want Carol. No baby, but … this just feels like love. Lol!! This confinement makes so much sense. The mom is so supported. Gets plenty of rest. No disturbance. Safe environment. Loving environment. Nurturing. This is brilliant. All new moms need this. I bet this saves lives and marriages.
@@luxlifee6843 Girl. Have your baby abroad. It’s not my place to say any of that(No bio kids), but from my friends and associates experiences having left America/Returned home to work, live, give birth.. it’s better. *Whatever media* on certain channels are screaming right now about “Southern countries” not being able to aid birthing moms is fundamentally incorrect. But that’s another debate.
Yes! Carol please🙏 sans baby. But I'm sure I'd get sooo much accomplished and end up perfectly healthy and balanced. And then, i too would cry when she left.
1. I didn't expect to grieve with you at the end. Totally sobbed. 2. I cannot even imagine how phenomenal this was for your mental health. 3. Congrats on your baby!!!!
The best I like about the confinement culture is there’s 0 expectation for the mother to do any house chores, or provide childcare for the older siblings (if there are any), it’s just to rest and learn about bonding and nursing (if you choose to) the new born. They are also there to standup for the mother and remind other people of the household that the mother takes priorities at this stage. There are some downsides such as the high cost and the quality of individual service provider varies.
I went to work (took my baby with me) at 8 weeks. I was supposed to go back at 6 weeks but the family I worked for as a nanny got the flu. With my second I was fortunate to be able to stay at home but was caring for my almost 2-year old pretty quickly after I got home.
@HELLUR Here in Toronto Ontario Canada after a woman gives birth she can take a year off and the government will help with money.💕 Maternity leave is one year and your job will be waiting!
@mikoy huio you realize that 8-12 weeks is 56-84 days- and at 1:36 you can see that most (not all) of those cultures have a 40 day period. According to the amount of days, in general mothers in the us get more time off from work to bond with the baby compared to the asian mothers.
@@gloomyscribbles Most women in the US can't take the 8-12 weeks you mention especially if it's unpaid, and many are home alone with little to no support. I'd take 40 days with a lot of support over the 3 months of little to no support I had.
To the women that will come home to a dirty house, with no one to cook for you, no one to help you, no one to even ask if you need anything, you are seen. You are valued. It will be ok, you will get through it without all this stuff.
Yes, I’m sure the women sitting on their butts for two months getting massaged and special shampoos “saw me” from their high horse. So sick of social media influencers.
@@snowwhite5842 try to not sit in negativity or jealousy or anger, nor resentment. Life can be hard, but these mindsets just serve to make it difficult. Mentally more than anything else. Find a positive and cherish it. ❤️
@@SariennMusic73 I am in no way jealous. I wouldn't trade places with a person who leads this kind of life. I don't need a lecture about life being hard, I am very tough and I've been through some hard things in life. I accept everything in life as a valuable life lesson. I don't need your flippant advice.
In Mexican culture we have something called "la cuarentena" which translates to "the 40 days." It's basically the same concept that includes staying inside, having women in your family or community help out, avoiding cold showers, drinking hot soups, abstaining from sex, and binding the abdomen with a postpartum "faja." Fascinating how both customs are so similar!
Same here in colombia! It’s the most important thing tbh, and it’s usually the mother (now grandmother) that is in charge of the cuarentena. It makes the most sense, too
Ohhhh, I heard about that, but I thought it was only for the baby. I thought the mother could leave, but the baby cannot step outside because their immune system is too weak. That makes a lot more sense though!
I first saw this video reproduced in a Chinese social media, so intrigued and come here to see the comments😊. It’s weird that, in China, we’ve been told for decades that we need confinement because we have weaker bodies and lack of workouts while western women are much stronger and healthier, so they can have ice-creams, icy water and go back to work right after postpartum and don’t feel a thing. Now I get to know that it’s mainly because of the different cultures and traditions. Literally, all women are vulnerable at that moment. All new mothers should be cherished and treated well.
This honestly looks like such a civilised experience. In the UK things are pretty barbaric. You’re shuffled out a hospital and into the ‘real world’ with minimal follow up the minute you can stand on your feet. What a beautiful custom, to truly care for a new mother, and something we should learn from!
The woman in the video paid for this service, because her and her husband are wealthy enough to afford it. It wasn’t given to her because she lives in an Asian country. In the USA we can hire a baby nurses to help us. It’s just that it’s to expensive for most of us to afford. But the same goes for Asian countries. This isn’t the norm there. The women who are lucky enough to do confinement in Asia, usually have their own mothers do everything the lady in the video did. Only a small percentage of Asian women can hire someone to help them with confinement, just like only a small percentage of American women can hire someone to help them after giving birth.
@@findingbeautyinthepain8965 yes, I’m not naive enough to think all Asian mothers can afford to hire in the help of a specialist. I am aware that it is common practice to confine (even for Asian mothers in the UK), usually with the help of a mother or mother in law. And it has its own controversies. My comment was more about the ritual itself and it’s focus on caring for the mother, not just baby, during the postpartum period which we lack as a norm.
@@findingbeautyinthepain8965the birthing and postpartum practices are still better in Asia and Africa than the west. For so called developed countries the maternal mortality rate is ridiculous and studies have shown the birthing positions in the west out a lot of pressure on the mother instead of working with gravity. These are practices from times when the poor didn’t have updated medicine or technology hence the food and wrapping technique. So yea they may pay for it but the origin definitely came from traditions of the common civilian
And the US is the same way unless you have good insurance or can afford to pay, most women don’t get this type of assistance unless they have mothers or support around them. But the food is more of my concern. She fed her vitamin rich foods and drinks which we don’t normally get postpartum not even in the hospitals.
I'm absolutely floored. I had an awful, devastating time with my postpartum experience, but I am crying tears of joy knowing that so many women in this world are so well-cared for in their postpartum journey. What I would've given for this... I couldn't even imagine what my life would be like today nearly 11 years after what I have gone through as a result of untreated postpartum depression and anxiety. Thank you for sharing this. ❤
What a loving heart you have to be thankful for others, you put that gratuity into words perfectly. I’m so sorry you had to suffer through that in such a important time 💓
Same... I am crying of joy for the others being able to be taking care off so well but also for myself as I still haven't healed mentally and physicly 4 years later....It could have changed my life do much... being without any family support in another country actually destroyed me.
@@naomil.888 Oh my God, your words broke my heart into a million pieces as I’m going through the same thing six years after giving birth to my son, sometimes I even wonder what’s wrong with me and why can’t I just be like any normal woman who’s given birth?! Living abroad with no family or support system is especially hard at times like these…
Ohh noo >.< I had my husband cheating on me pp. that led to depression and anxiety two years in and I feel like I lost a lot of my babies growing up because of him
@@memem8530 I would have never thought about how hard it is without any support or family around. I couldn't imagine it. I am sorry for us and truly hope we will get through one day. It still hard for me to feel like a real mom and not a fraud. I am scared to have another child too. My son is feeling lonely and ask for a baby but I can't help him. I just can't do it.
Every parent should be send home with a Carol for the first month. Even if you don’t believe in the medicinal aspect the support and information she gave was invaluable!
@niduoe stre You could absolutely do this in the US. There are many options for postpartum care. All companies are required to give you 6 weeks off for maternity leave. A month is 4 weeks. You can hire a postpartum nurse to do all of these things. This is expensive to do in Japan and in the US. You have to spend your own money to have these nurses. They aren’t free or given by the government.
Except in Japan, you get 2/3 of your salary for 8 weeks postpartum. Then you can take childcare leave for 67% or 50% of your salary for up to 1 year to 1.5 years. All of that is tax exempt. In the US, in all but 10 states, you get up to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave. So if you don’t have enough saved up, you have to go back to work quickly. I live in NY, so I had 6 weeks of disability pay which was up to 50% of your pay OR $167 a week…so I received $167 a week for 6 weeks because 50% of my pay exceeded the max amount of $167 (disability is now $170 a week). After that, paid family leave kicked in. At that time, it was 50% of my pay for 8 weeks (now it’s 67% of your salary for 12 weeks). After 18 weeks of disability combined with paid family leave, that’s it. You have no time left and have to return to work. All of this money received (disability and paid family leave) is also taxable. So, it seems like it would be a bit easier to hire someone in Japan vs the US because Japan gives A LOT more financial support to new parent’s than the US.
As a foreigner living in Chinese country during covid, I too relied a lot on my confinement nanny and i’m so lucky to found a very kind one. I’ve also experience that sense of loss and grief when the confinement period is over. I remembered crying a lot 2-3 days before and after the confinement nanny finish her job. We do still keep in touch now, she would visit some day and meet up just to chat and have meal together. I’d say I gain a new friend through this experience.
I like that they don't let confinement traditions get "stuck in its ways." When they learn something new they change. When modern conveniences came about they adapted.
Imagine if we treated all physical recoveries like this, our overall health would be so much better. So happy you got to have this experience and share it with us.
We Chinese believe that women's immune system and function will decrease after giving birth, and the recovery period is one month. Therefore, the wife needs special care within one month of giving birth to a child. The task of taking care of is completed by the husband's mother. My wife is a newspaper columnist, and after giving birth, she didn't listen to my mother and secretly wrote newspaper columns on her computer. A month later, due to typing on the keyboard with her hands and looking at the computer with her eyes, her hands became very painful on rainy days and her eyes became dry and uncomfortable at night. My mother said that if she doesn't write within a month after giving birth to her second child, her illness will improve. My wife followed my mother's instructions when giving birth to her second child, and something magical happened. After a month, my wife's eyes and wrists no longer hurt.
In Nigeria the Igbo tribe have a tradition called Omugwu. Very similar to this. Your mum (or any older woman of your choosing) moves in with you and takes care of you and the baby. They bath you and the baby, cook for you and make sure that the first 3 months are as easy as possible to help you smoothly transition into motherhood.
wow 3 months! I'm in sweden and I'm searching for that kind of help now. I'm not pregnant, but it would be good to know if there is that kind of help when I do choose to have a child. In our culture, the dad gets paid leave for 1 week (maybe 10 days) to help the mother at home, but I feel that's not enough time, and I'd rather have an older woman help me. Someone who knows what to do.
Oh that's awesome. We have something similar in Ethiopia called "metares" and usually you move to your mom's house so she can take care of you from "40-80" days. It's awesome. Your family and friends visit you during that time. Neighbour's bring you all kinds of food. And they eat this type of fufu made with lots of wheat like barely called "genfo".
In South Africa each tribe has something similar as well, whereby your mom or aunt helps you out for about 4-6 months. She has to teach all there is to learn about caring for your baby as well as some traditional practices which need to take place to strengthen the baby's protection. Your abdomen is also tightly wrapped in a towel to make sure that it returns to its initial look and shape. The baby cannot be seen for about 3 or 6 months by those who aren't family.
I literally cried watching this. I can’t imagine how differently my post partum experience and bonding with my baby would have been if we had something like that in the states. Post partum depression would decrease, maternal and child health outcomes would improve, there would be higher breastfeeding rates. I wish I could afford someone to do this for me. Carol was so sweet, initially I thought she was your actual mother in law but she’s definitely an honorary one now 💗💗
I feel the exact same way. There is almost zero support for mothers in the states. I was an absolute mess with a colicky baby. Our families live a long ways away too so that was challenging. It’s so nice to know that women in other parts of the world are better supported.
@@CF. I know. It's so sad and awful. I prayed about not waking up every single day. I was in so much pain, depression, and beyond exhausted. No family support and very little help. You're treated as if you just went in for a dental checkup. C-sections and tough deliveries are no joke. I still have PTSD
I was a shift supervisor, and my boss didn't let me approve extended paternity/maternity leave for employees even when we had enough people to cover all the shifts. Her response was, "Can't come back to work? Don't have a baby."
This is… unbelievably amazing. How they actually acknowledge that giving birth is actually intense and a type of trauma to your body, therefore you need a month to get better from it all. What wonderful traditions and recipes for healing. Focusing on rest an bonding.. no wonder so many moms in USA have post partum depression because you are expected to get up and go afterwards-you got a new being to take care of but no biggie just keep going! And you are so exhausted from the baby not sleeping and you are so drained.. this is amazing to have someone feed you, help you TAKE NAPS.
We Chinese believe that women's immune system and function will decrease after giving birth, and the recovery period is one month. Therefore, the wife needs special care within one month of giving birth to a child. The task of taking care of is completed by the husband's mother. My wife is a newspaper columnist, and after giving birth, she didn't listen to my mother and secretly wrote newspaper columns on her computer. A month later, due to typing on the keyboard with her hands and looking at the computer with her eyes, her hands became very painful on rainy days and her eyes became dry and uncomfortable at night. My mother said that if she doesn't write within a month after giving birth to her second child, her illness will improve. My wife followed my mother's instructions when giving birth to her second child, and something magical happened. After a month, my wife's eyes and wrists no longer hurt
Imagine? Being supported by a trained professional and ACTUALLY recovering from birth. The west has so much to learn! Thank you for this eye opening vlog!
I’m so glad that you had this experience. I’m sad more people don’t get to experience this postpartum. My postpartum seasons in America (4) have been really traumatic and painful, and my body still feels so broken and worn out. I have always appreciated the way so many Asian cultures really honor and care for mothers.
Men and women cant even get along and respect one another in america. Elites fuel the feuds against one another. In korea and china, men and women respect eachother for their differences and roles in society. I dont think the usa will ever truely change until society changes first.
A lot of the countries that do this have unreal rates of domestic abuse. If they honored mothers, they wouldn't beat them. They need your ability to reproduce for them. They don't respect you, they need you.
In Tanzania 🇹🇿 Africa we do 3months confinement aafter birth, moms just relax and bond with their baby, no worry about the rest of the world, just eat, drink and sleep for 3months😂
This makes so much sense. Pregnancy and birth are both massively traumatic processes for your body to go through so you need absolute rest both physically and emotionally. I imagine it really helps you connect with your baby too when you're not having to deal with daily life stresses. Having another woman to help you while you recover sounds so healing and comforting 💖
When I retire, I want to help mothers with babies and children. Taking a night shift, watching the child while Mom takes a nap or shower, cook and clean for them, etc...
I think it's a postpartum doula service or something, u help with basic chores like laundry and dishes a few meals a week so mom can focus in the baby and recovery. I'm sure the hospital know where u can offer services to new moms who need a postpartum/ newborn nanny / night nurse
I live in the US and for my 3rd baby, my midwife made me do 15 days of confinement. 5 days in bed, 5 days around the bed and 5 days around the house. As an American, I have anxiety when I’m not accomplishing things. It’s very difficult for me to sit and rest. So I didn’t follow this rule completely but my post pardum was much better and I recovered much quicker.
@@sweetcatastr0fe It was super tough since I had a 1 and 3 year old. But the very cut and dry standard helped my family and friends volunteer to help. My in-laws came to meet the baby as soon as he was born and then took my toddlers for a couple of days, then my parents took them for a night and they basically had sleep overs for a week. My husband set up our room to be a all in one kitchen/bedroom so I could just grab food from the nightstand while he was at work. It was super weird to just lay in bed for 5 days. The second 5 days was easier bc I could fold/put away laundry, straighten up my bathroom, organize my nightstands, ect. And then I ended up spending most of day 11-15 in my room anyways bc it was so organized and clean. 😁
Sorry that it took me so long to upload! I’m hope you enjoy getting a glimpse into my postpartum life living with a Pui Yuet (Confinement Nanny). This video could have been over an hour long because I had so much footage and things I could go into, but I decided to keep it more condensed. If you have any questions feel free to ask them here (especially on anything I didn’t cover)!
My family and I have loved your journey, and have appreciated you sharing with us all ♥️ Levi is such a precious beautiful angel 👼 We love your whole family ♥️ Please give Rosie a belly rub 😋♥️🌸🌺♥️
@@huijessicaI wanted to be in the comforts of my own home and have my home set up for care (know which items to use, how to cook certain dishes, etc), so the transition would be easier. We don’t have many postpartum centers here in Hong Kong (I could only find one), so hiring Pui Yuets (or mother/mother-in-laws helping) are more common.
Hey taytay, it's so nice that you're back, because your literally the only youtuber I regularly watch 😅😁😊 it was really interesting to see something like that because I never heard of that before (only because of your insta). I actually would like to try the ginger water shower 😅 it must be soo nice to have someone besides you after pregnancy. I never heard that you can hire someone for something like that in Germany. Thanks for letting us see ! Levi is so cute btw 😁😊
I'm Chinese Canadian but I use Chinese social media, and the sitting the month is pretty much a test to their marriage. I saw a lady sharing that because her husband was caring and helped with all the chores through the month when she's the most vulnerable physically and mentally, every time she gets angry and argue with him she'll remember how he took things in charge during the sitting and she'll forgive him because she knows he's trustworthy. I also saw people who got really screwed over during the sitting by negligent mother in law/husband, and they can really hold a grudge for life
I'm in the US. My husband works very hard so that I could quit my job to just relax and have as comfortable, stress free pregnancy as possible. He also helps to clean, cook, and run errands for me when my symptoms are too intense (fatigue, morning sickness etc). Owning his own business, he also arranged his projects where he would be able to go with me to all my OB appointments and take off a month from work to take care of me postpartum. On days where he is irritable, says stupid things, or whatever less than perfect trait comes out I have so much more compassion for him in those moments because of the sacrificial way he loves me and our soon to be born baby at a time where we need his support most. Bonus that he looks like a 6'7 slightly older Chris Hemsworth lol. Men like this exist. Don't settle, ladies 🥰
I definitely like the body wrapping, I would probably practice that if nothing else. I think this is an amazing idea and I wish America would adopt this into our health insurances/maternity care. Pregnancy is a HUGE toll on the female body, we absolutely need time to rest and recover.
It is so awful how you are expected to become a mother in the US. Everythinf depends on how much money you got. If you have little, you and baby just have to suffer so much
I got a tip from family to ask for a C-section wrap in the hospital even though I had a natural birth. I do that with each of my kids and wear it every day as my "body wrap".
So my heart broke a little when I watched this video because I was completely on my own after my two births. No pampering or support. When I saw the wrapping of your belly I thought wow! That’s exactly what I needed. I have been dealing with 23 years of my abdominal wall healing improperly. What an amazing experience
Chinese confinement seems such a logical and healthy way to navigate the beginning steps of the journey of the new mom and baby. Initially I had disagreed with the no air conditioning and no hair washing (although I too have long hair and enjoy the idea of a hair vacation), but am pleased that confinement rules have been updated. Carol has a great sense of humor and positivity. What a gift that must be to all of her clients. THANK YOU so much for sharing such a personal experience. I wish Western healthcare was as nurturing for all.
In the real world very few people can afford to hire somebody like Taylor did. I would have loved to have been pampered and have had someone cooking for me and doing everything else. This all sounds wonderful but how much did it cost?
@@sueu6263 im sure it costs a lot to hire someone for this but a lot of people have family members help out during the confinement period mother, mother inlaw, aunts etc
Girls I know it's costy, however, we are the ones that deserve good treatment during post partum period. Let's plan and orgazine our buget to allow us to properly heal even for at least 15 days. I decided to go frugal on my spendings, I'm now able to save so much and have it in investiments. I'm preparing to get pregg by the end of next year and hire some one to take care of me (like Carol lol) for like a month to 2 months and have a full year out of the workforce after my delivery. But I'm only able to do this cause I have removed extra consumerism of my life and own no so much stuff and so happy for it. I hope you can have the chance to do this if you don't have familiy member available to give you the necessary support. Always remember, no one going to rescue us but ourselves.
Interesting to see similarities in Chinese and Mexican cultures. My Mexican mother-in-law made me fish stew to help with breast milk production after giving birth to my first baby.
There is a book in China called 《山海经》"Classic of Mountains and Rivers", which displays a map not of China, but of the world. More than two thousand years ago, ancient Chinese people had already arrived on the American continent.
I dont think any new mother is ever prepared for how difficult breastfeeding is. I was 15 years old when I had my daughter. My nurses were blown away at the fact I was determined to breastfeed. Being so young, not many adults gave me much credit for the fact that i was young but parenting very well. I cried and cried when i had trouble feeding her and i felt like such a failure when i had to supplement until my milk came in. When it finally came in though, dear god i couldn't go anywhere because i was constantly wet down my front. i was a milk cow. I was able to freeze and donate some of my milk because it filled our freezer in no time. Be kind to new moms who are breastfeeding, its one of the hardest jobs a mother will ever have.
@@sjjdhwhjw1257 it is set as a norm in society but indoors, women actually have alot of issues with it. Even pregnancy and birth. Every person's experience is different
@@sjjdhwhjw1257 Teen mothers often have trouble with milk production. My grandmother breastfed a teen mother's baby while she was still in hospital after having my father because the girl wasn't producing colostrum.
I really wish we did something like this in the US. We are expected to just push through the pain and return to work asap and put baby in daycare. If you do choose to be at home longer, society judges you for being “lazy”.
Many European countries pay moms and dads to stay anything from 6 months to 1 year with their baby. It's just how it's supposed to be. Before modern society women worked exclusively at home for a reason, it was just how they balanced it. It wasn't super correct but considering a woman wouldn't have birth control at all, i mean, what could they do? But hey. If you do wish a service like this, why not create one? I know it sounds super crazy but I think that if well publicized on social media, people would easily contact these services!
@@nueiart1077 in the US they probably don't expect the mother to give breast milk? But in general they have the same problem with holidays and 'sick days'. That entire work system is a bit broken
I just gave birth in May and I only got 3 months off. 2 months to actually spend time with my baby. That is not enough time at all. By the end of July I have to go back to work already. Something is really messed up with the birth system in the U.S
@@yarixzamendoza6314 I'm very sorry you cannot have more time to bond with the baby. I truly wonder what happens when the baby is born with problems? Could you get more time off? (sorry I'm curious to understand)
I feel so neglected as a woman in the United States. We get treated so poorly after childbirth and are expected to do so much. My boss was texting me 2 weeks PP with my second baby, asking when I'd be back. I wish we had more traditions like this. I also like the Korean PP care facilities. Wish those existed here. (if they do I just dont know of them/probably couldnt afford it)
Oof. I’m pretty sure here in the UK, you’re not allowed to ask when someone is coming back in that way if they are on maternity (or sick leave). Once maternity leave starts, the employer should assume you will have a year off, can’t ask your return date, and you continue to get your job “perks” (company car etc), and entitlements - such as annual holiday time (usually 4 weeks excluding public holidays). I don’t know what the answer is for you American ladies, I’m sad about your situation and don’t know how it has all got so bad. ☮️
@@KitchenWitchery very sad that people have to fight for being treated like human beings and have to do it all by themselves (in this case mothers). Instead of helping each other live a joyful and happy lives we have to sacrifice ourselves for few bastards with power.
@@noodlepipkin im due back work next week (here in uk) after having 9 months off maternity. I was entitled to a year off but only 9 months was maternity pay which isn't great pay. I also had to give them a date I'd be back before I left. I still get all my holidays aswell
Imagine men were the ones giving birth the whole system would be so different. But also still the same as in it would still revolve around them haha. Probly support them more than the babies too lol.
In our culture(Tanzania) almost every woman goes through confinement, and you have mostly a family member who is available taking care of you in the first month. We also do a lot of soups and porridge and lighter foods to support lactation but pretty basic ones, not as complicated as the chinese ones. They also do some form of wrap but the one is the video is way professional, and hot water massages like everyday until your back heals. Super grateful to understand why it helps and I've learnt a lot from the video, thank you.
I'm actually a bit jealous. This needs to be a service every woman recieves after child birth, it would make such a huge difference. In America we do have post partum doula's that offer some support but it is not quite as knowledgeable as this Chinese tradition and also more expensive than most people can afford.
This is nice to see. Being Eastern Orthodox Christian, I was supposed to stay home for the biblical 40 days postpartum, get rest and do nothing except for bonding with the baby. Seeing how this is a thing in most cultures it is infuriating that here in the US a woman is expected to get up and go back to work 8-12 weeks after labor
Orthodox gang, hi there! And yeah, this has inspired me to really make the most of those 40 days and really spend them healing and bonding with the baby (I'm expecting my first)
@@nightlysobbing Congrarulations! I definitely recommend taking full advantage. Get your mom or grandma or somebody to be there to help you with housework. Postpartum doulas are also an option.
I never received this, nor did I even know that it existed. I live in the US, and my pregnancies and postpartum were very tough. When my friend had her baby though, I had her live with me for over a month to help with her new baby, and let her heal. I cooked for her and took care of the baby a lot. It actually meant a lot to me to be there for them because my last couple pregnancies were miscarriages. I do have 2 healthy kids, but the miscarriages were hard. Women, you are beautiful and wonderful.
You are an amazing friend! I wish every women had a friend to care for them after giving birth. Then that woman could repay their friend by doing the same for them when they have a baby. 🥰
I think you can start your own tradition with your own experiences to start sharing with others and offer your it as services overtime since there is a demand for it. This has been a long practise in South East Asia. We even have confinement centers because it's a must for any of us who can afford it. Though I personaly love the Carol service as it was more common in the past. The personal touches and comfort of your own homes feels best.
My family is Mexican and we do very similar things like the Chinese confinement but we call it cuarentena it’s 40 days. I’m currently pregnant w my first baby & it’s very true everything they say. This will help you physically & mentally also in the long run so you won’t get sick quickly or have other health problems. My mom has 3 kids all c-section & my grandma took care of her and us for 40 days & thank god she is very strong with no health issues 💜✨. It works ladies do this for u & ur babies. Try to gather as much information if your new to this topic it will help you in the long run. Try to find someone to help u even though u have to pay them. It’s for ur health and sanity. We got this 🥳 💪🏼.
I'm Spanish and Cuban and you're so right. I love how we view childbirth and Motherhood and the extra love care and support new Mother's need. You know how much Big Pharma, Big Baby, Big Insurance would raise holy hell by using lobbyist to block any chance of having something like this as a country wide standard. How else could they prey on new Mother's insecurities and fears and the money they make by putting a bandaid over the gaping wound that is postpartum in the US. Those in power say they care but in truth regardless of the party they don't give a fig about what we as Mothers go through and what it does to our children and spouses. Tender and supportive care for all new Mother's!
USA take some notes! Our American mommies need this care especially with the push on getting back to work and just hoping you might get family to help you at all
There is no innate value, from an American societal perspective, to motherhood. More like "You made the choice to give birth...now raise the child". Hence, why there is minimal governmental support for working class/or blue-collar pregnant women.
Actually birth and postpartum doulas cost about 1k-2k in America. Don’t know how much a live in doula would cost, or if you can even hire one in America.
I started to cry half way in because that's literally my dream job that I didn't know about. Such a beautiful job to guide new parents and the new earthling. I always wanted to combine household, caring, babies, psychology and nutrition but never knew how. Now I'll look up if and how I can do this in my country, thank you for that. Now my additional nutrition degree won't be useless that I anticipated using for something else that isn't comparable to the joy this type of job would offer. Carol is such a sweetheart, very inspiring and she gives away so much positive energy! I'm very happy for you that you have found her!
Even if this specific service isn't a thing in your country, I'm sure if you started a housekeeping and home chef service for post partum mothers that alone would be very helpful and appreciated
@@wowwhopissedinyourcheerios8089 I also thought about that, I think it's a great idea! Even though I would like to integrate more, I understand that this would be a very difficult thing to do because of all the regulations I yet don't know about.
If there aren't facilities in your country, look up doulas in your area. They tend to work with women during the pregnancy and birth, but maybe you can apprentice under them and maybe make connections with some interested in starting a postpartum facility. After more experience, you can consider becoming an independent postpartum care specialist, make a site, and advertise your services. There's definitely a need for stuff like this.
why did i watch this whole thing when i’m not pregnant nor have i ever been pregnant? 😂 it shows how interesting and fun this video was. and carol seems like just the most amazing, warm light in your life. i’m happy that you had an experience like this!
I wish all cultures had something like this. Especially in the west, we focus so much on the baby, the mother is very much an after thought. So happy you had this lovely woman to teach you and support you through the toughest time postpartum. ❤
Actually, I believe in The Netherlands we do have something similar. We call them "kraamzorgers" and they basically help you in the first few weeks to make sure the baby feeds, thar you know how to take care of it. (Guard the mother from having to meet every single member of their extended family un rhe first few days after the birth...). I don't know any better than rhat they exist and help but I do not have a baby so I don't know the details as to how long they stay but I think they are included in the insurance.
Actually a lot of cultures do, specially Asian, Arabs, African. Its really amazing how similar they are in terms of the month period, the mother staying worm and the food.
@@jumanahhusain4584 I think I heard Latin American cultures also do something along these lines. There’s something about Western cultures that has changed familial bonds and traditions. I think enforcing boundaries and individualism pays a major part of it and I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing but at the same time, collectivism and that sense of community and family are not all bad even if I think it does play into generational traumas. If we could find some balance between the two would be nice but I have no idea what that would look like or if it even is possible.
Thank you so much for making this video. I'm a Canadian born Chinese and my mom would always try to explain this process to me but it was hard to understand why they do what they do. It's funny how it takes a Canadian living in HK to re-explain the process to me....and now it's clear! I really appreciate the effort put into making this video! 👏
We Chinese believe that women's immune system and function will decrease after giving birth, and the recovery period is one month. Therefore, the wife needs special care within one month of giving birth to a child. The task of taking care of is completed by the husband's mother. My wife is a newspaper columnist, and after giving birth, she didn't listen to my mother and secretly wrote newspaper columns on her computer. A month later, due to typing on the keyboard with her hands and looking at the computer with her eyes, her hands became very painful on rainy days and her eyes became dry and uncomfortable at night. My mother said that if she doesn't write within a month after giving birth to her second child, her illness will improve. My wife followed my mother's instructions when giving birth to her second child, and something magical happened. After a month, my wife's eyes and wrists no longer hurt
I love this! Pregnancy takes a huge toll on a women's body and in the US we just never take that into consideration. A women's body needs to heal and it's so important to heal and bond with your baby. I can definitely tell how good you look from everything that Carol did for you.
I'm thinking of getting pregnant in Silicone valley and there is no post birth centers here except chinese ones!! Which would be ok except I don't speak Chinese!! hahahaha
My preggo emotions were full on watching this. Tearing up at how beautiful the 4th trimester was for Taylor and by the end a streaming hot mess knowing damn well the US could never value us enough to bless us with Carol’s.
Here in Somalia we have something similar to this. it actually lasts for 40 days after birth. Neither the mom nor the baby are allowed to leave the home. No chores, she has to eat a lot of healthy food . The mom has to rest and relax. Usually the whole family helps her around . The woman has to prioritize her sleep and well being and by the end of that period we have small ceremony called “afartan bax” is such nice gesture for the new mom.
Why did I cry hearing her say “you’re my grandson.” 😢 My son and my husband and I don’t have any family. It’s just the 3 of us. No grandparents, brothers , sisters, no grandparents or parents.. No one. And I hate absolutely hate that my 10yo doesn’t have grandparents. I’m so thankful we have each other. But god I wish we had ppl who loved us.
I feel that keenly. My family was very close until my Grandmother the matriarch died and then everything fell apart. I grew up in a VERY large Hispanic and Southern extended family but those I was the closest too have died and the current generation is WAYYYY too narcissistic to care about anyone but themselves. Now since my husband and I lost our son 3 years ago we only have my Mother and the 2 of us to handle everything. My Mother is currently starting her battle with dementia which my Grandmother, her Mother died a horrific slow death, which makes everything so much harder. Most ppl don't realize what it's like not having anyone outside your family you can call for any type of help.
What a magical experience. I wish I had this with all three of my girls. My husband went right back to work after I had our third baby and had only two days in the hospital. We came home and my body had no time to rest and was on survival mode. I feel like this is why so many women also suffer from postpartum so badly in America. I love watching your journey Taylor since you lived in Japan and met Tom. Aka elbowson
This is why paternity leave is so important!! 100% of the focus is on the new baby, and mom has needs too! That’s why they say “it takes a village”, but in the US we don’t have that support network because everyone is at work.
I think a lot of daughters would also feel closer to their own mothers if they had this kind of guidance. It's amazing how cultural tradition can create such a sense of respect, security, unity, and bond. Technically, this experience would benefit the whole world. 🙏
I love how genuinely eager to learn and respectful Taylor is - I know too many Western women who would look down their noses at this, but the curiosity and humility that Taylor brought to the experience allowed her to truly benefit from it. All new moms should have this kind of support and nourishment after giving birth.
Could u guys please not pull all western countries into this? Europe in that matter is extremely different to the US, we get up to a year paid maternity leave and such. Please just refer to the US if you say something US specificities and dont know how it is in other countries...
this made me so emotional. I have only ever lived in the US and have always been afraid of motherhood. The amount of support and care for mom and baby is so wonderful and should be the standard. All of the attention to nutrition and connections to the body are so wonderful. Like food can be so healing we literally are what we eat. I always knew it was messed up how moms are kind of forced out of the hospital as soon as possible then have to go back to work super quickly but to really see the complete opposite has been a shock. America's fast paced work centric culture does not value mom and what she goes through at all!!! Seeing this made me realize its not motherhood I m truly afraid of, its the lack of support. Even with a partner, the culture here does not support motherhood and its sacrifices and the healing that needs to happen. wow thank you for this insight.
Wow. You took the words out of my mouth! I felt this same way. Still do cuz in canada it's not much better at all. Should I think about giving birth, I want to get a postpartum doula or what this lady Carol is.
Yes, I also had this realization a few years ago now.... I'm not afraid to be a parent figure in children's lives... I just think it's BS how your family, friends, community, and society abandons yo uto raise this baby on your own and then folks wonder why parents pass on so much trauma to their children!!!
This is something I think is happening widespread across the US. Then people despise parenting, support the abortion culture and you can't blame them thinking it is impossible to combine being a parent with normal, but less work-centric life. US women should push for government-mandated maternity leaves, more support systems for young families as part of their "reproductive" and "healthcare" rights. Also more focus on preventive healthcare...
Every new mother deserves this. Respecting the role of a birthing mother is paramount to a healthy society. Beneficial to bub too to have a calm and rested mum.
I think motherhood has been labelled inferior by all the fake feminism precisely so our needs are kept unexpressed even more. I think there are many interests in that.
My mother's experience with Chinese confinements when she gave birth to me and my brothers around 30 years ago were a struggle, according to her. She couldn't use the air conditioner, had to wear long sleeves in the Malaysian hot weather, no showers and no washing her hair (she secretly did it once a week but was caught by my maternal grandmother and she was furious). She didn't like ginger too so she didn't enjoy the food that her mother prepared (there was ginger in everything). She also felt restricted because there were a lot of things she couldn't do. I always thought these confinement were miserable due to my mother's stories, but I'm glad to hear things has changed a lot since her days. And having the right 陪月 seems sooo important to ensure a smoother recovery. Thanks for the educational video and I wish your family the best!
I wonder how it would have been like if she would have found herself alone at home with a newborn and trying to do everything by herself with no help at all?
As a Midwife from days gone by, I found this Hong Kong Chinese Confinement ( as carried out by Carol) has many wonderful practises. It honours the woman and her role in life and is highly supportive. Those teas fascinated me along with the meal preparation and the types of food and Fungi. I can see the sense in bathing using that ginger infusion. I would liked to have experienced such devotion and care after the birth of my child. I wonder how the women cope in our western society now, and whether they would go to all that trouble (and expense) to have this kind of post-natal care and attention. It might help prevent post-natal depression and definitely contribute to positively bonding of the child to the Mother. I sometimes consider that our 'Modern' society with its constant demand for action, quick food and takeaways, tend to treat the child (baby) as a requisite to life and sometimes as an inconvenience or a disposable commodity. Life is viewed in the practise by this HongKong Chinese Confinement, as precious and must be protected. 🙏
Yes! That's what I was impressed by too. In the US women are pushed to get up and out as quickly as possible. "Did you see that Sandy was in church today? She just had her baby on Wednesday!" Women getting back to work only a few weeks - not even 6 weeks which is the customary time given off after birth - and expected to get right back to work. I wasn't depressed postpartum, but I was exhausted. 1 gave birth to 3 children in 4 year - plus miscarried once - and practically had 3 babies at a time. My husband came from a generation that provided little to no help with taking care of the baby - or house or other children. I was lucky to have had a large friend base to get support and with my 3rd baby they often took my youngest 2 for several hours. Then brought them back along with dinner. I'd definitely save for that service if I knew about it.
I see why moms, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, etc. around have been important in lots of cultures. We all need those knowledgeable support system around us in the special & vulnerable times in our lives!
I didn’t this existed in other cultures… it’s called “Setswetsi” in Setswana. You move back home for a couple of months after having your baby and your mother/aunt works as your “confinement nurse”. Non-family members aren’t allowed to see the baby before they turn 3 months old.
When my son was born, my in-laws introduced a few of these concepts to me. My mother-in-law was born in the US and my father-in-law was born in China. I learned a lot about hot and cold foods, not actual temperature, but the effect on my body. I was encouraged to stay home and to stay warm and my mother-in-law made a special chicken soup with a lot of ginger in it. My in-laws also came over to watch my baby every day when I returned to work. My mother-in-law would do dishes and occasionally mow the lawn while my father-in-law took care of his grandson. Watching this brought back so many sweet memories.
My grandmother always wanted my first baby wrapped up so much that he would get too warm. I would take the blanket off and she would put it back on. It drove me crazy. This was in the summer in Georgia mind you.
I think this should be done everywhere- in every country. It seems incredibly important & nourishing for mum and baby. I would have cried my eyes out when she left also.
This looks wonderful, I was discharged after 24 hours and grocery shopping that night. I went into labor a month early so wasn't able to do it before having her. Nobody cooked a meal or even coffee/tea waiting on me. I was "lucky" and got 4 weeks off with my new baby before returning to work. My husband got 1 day off. I made it just like many do but it seems so cruel to treat women that way. You've just had s child but feel guilty for stopping working and house chores for more than a few days.
Yes but having a baby taken physical mental and emotional strain on you and nothing in the world compares to tht therefore housework is trivial and you deserve to rest and heal mentally and physically.
"Eat the COOOOORN" - I died. This woman is amazing! I want her as my post-delivery assistant too! Thank you for showing us this amazing and pretty interesting tradition! I subscribed :3
I remember when I gave birth to my son, a Chinese woman had told me about this and that it was so hard for her when she gave birth alone to her kids in Canada. I thought it would have hard to not get out for a month. I see what she meant now. I wish I knew about the body wrapping. My tummy looks so bad now.
As a 62 year old mother of 2, I wish I had this woman in my life. In the USA, you are lucky to get a minimal amount of time off after giving birth. I love the fact that the confinement recognizes the incredible physical demands that are put on a woman’s body during pregnancy, labor and after. To take care of the mother so she can heal, get back balance.
Sadly in the US it’s more about how fast can you bounce back and get back to work after baby is born! And how fast you can get back into your jeans! Baby gets here and everyone forgets that mom needs recovery as well as taking care of the new baby and the whole thing is way more than 6 weeks and done. I have 3 girls in their 20s and I was so sad watching this because my experiences were nothing like this. My husband did his best the week he had off, but I also had post parting depression and didn’t realize it until years after I had my girls. I wish the US would get it together!
It is so touching to have someone of western culture to accept and take time to understand these Chinese culture. Sometimes when explaining Chinese cultures to a non Chinese person can be quite hard and it can feel like I am being judged so thank you 😊
By the end of confinement you were glowing with health and well being. Carol is truly amazing! So glad you were able to give that to yourself and your baby. I wish mothers in the US could access that level of care.
I understand the no cold foods, even for general body things. My mom is Chinese and actually from Hong Kong. She always told me when I was in my teens to not eat cold foods while I’m on my PMS. And I do believe that. It feels like period is heavier or has more frequent flows if I do. It’s kinda silly but warm foods just helps with body circulation etc. And it eases your stomach pains, especially when it hurts. I always drink hot tea or warm water when my stomach aches. Helps.
This was beautiful. This is exactly the type of care that every mother should get postpartum. I was extremely lucky to have my mom and dad visit us for a month when we had our daughter. They didn't stay with us, but my mom would come over every morning and would stay until dinner. She would take our daughter when I needed to nap, she would cook and she would clean. I now know how much of a blessing that was and how rare it is for mothers to get that in the western world. Childbirth and postpartum are herculean feats and I wish that our society would acknowledge them as such. I'm glad to see that in some cultures, they are :)
I am from malaysia. i think it is asian culture, the parents help to take care of their daughters during postpartum. usually we live in our parents house for about a month or more, and mom will do everything.. i just need to breastfeed my baby and eating healthy food. 😊
I’m really glad this is something that exists. I’m Colombian and my mom talks about a traditional 40 day postpartum “quarantine”. It’s not something that’s practiced much anymore but my mom has made sure to be really present for both my sisters in their postpartum care. For both of them she essentially moved in for a few weeks to help around the house, make meals, help with baby, and with showers and belly wraps. Both my sisters wore a postpartum recovery wrap. My mom also cooks really nutritious meals during this time, in particular she makes a broth with a whole chicken and removes all the fat. She would give this entire pot of soup for my sisters to eat every day in order to get collagen to support recovery. She has always framed it as primarily postpartum care rather than taking care of baby. I’m glad that even though I live in the US I know that this is what I can expect from my mom once I have my own babies but I wish more women had access to this kind of care and less pressure to “bounce back”
I come from an Arab/Middle-Eastern culture (Yemen) and the woman that gives birth is traditionally supposed to rest for about a 40 day period as well. Some people just go with a month. The new mother is catered to and receives so much help with household chores like cooking/cleaning and also taking care of the newborn. Hot drinks and food are recommend to help her heal. She is expected to be laying or sitting most of the time. This is typically done by family but close family friends tend to chip in and help as well.
Your cultural practices in this area remind me so much of some of ours. And I agree that it would be amazing if all women could receive this care but realistically this is typically seen in backgrounds with close family ties and certain cultural practices. I am quite thankful for this as a woman in my culture.
I followed your stories on insta and cried when Carol left and again when she left in this video. It was beautiful to see the relationship you created and knowing that both of your families werent in HK must made having a mother figure and support that more important and significant for you. Honestly I am so glad you had a wonderful experience and that you made a friend for life. Seeing this makes me wish we had such thing in my country because I think it is something that's really good for both parents and baby as it supports, helps heal and creates growth not only for baby but also parents as they learn how to adapt to this new life in their mids and how to adjust. It sounds like something women/those who carry may need a bit more support especially as some women/those who carry may feel lost and get post partum depression.
I loved that you were so open minded about taking on the practises and had such a positive attitude about everything. Traditional Chinese medicine has been around for thousands of years and to me that’s a huge indication that they must be onto something! It was is interesting learning about the merge between traditional and modern practises and how they are used today. As a Canadian that gave birth and raised 2 boys in the late 2000s at times I felt so alone (the internet was just picking up on mom blogs etc) and I wish I could have had a nanny/postpartum care nurse in the first month. The relationship you had with Carol was awesome! So many clips of you ladies laughing and smiling. I think you made the best choice for you and your family and that’s all that matters❤
This was so beautiful to watch. My youngest child is 23 and a mother now herself. I wish we were more aware of the need to heal and bond with our babies here in the states. I’m just in awe of how precious this was!
Maybe for her next birth you can be a carol for her . In my culture grandmas and great grandmas take a very active roll in postpartum care of the mother
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS !!!! I’m a Postpartum Doula in the USA and I do Many of these same things for my clients. Here in America, the postpartum period of a woman’s life isn’t valued and most moms have never heard of what I do! This is so amazing and I cried happy tears at the end! I loved this video and I’m definitely subscribing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I was study Chinese Medicine. It was amazing see how this month really look like in the real life, not only read about this. It is pitty in West cultures women are not treating like this and don't have time to rest and heal after pregnancy and birth.
As a UK resident, it's literally give birth, go home, deal with it. My second was born at home which was amazing as the midwives had to stay with me, making me tea, running a bath, etc. But after that they left and, again, left to your own devices apart from a visit once a week if you're lucky. No wonder there is so much post natal depression here.
After one birth in UK...I was taking care of it all. Also my mother in law has been quite a bad witch through out my pregnancy. I fell hard with post partum depression.
This tradition makes so much sense! Of course a mom is supposed to recover and get help with her tasks! Not just payed leave, but also being thought and supported, and being healed! Calm, healthy moms make calm healthy children! It's so good for all of the family!
This made me feel even stronger in my opinion of helping other post partum moms as much as possible. I live in the US and have had Post Partum Psychosis twice with both of my post partums. I have 2 girls and I plan to be of as much help if or when they have children. It is so important that moms have exactly what you had for care. Alot of American mothers experience horrible hospital care and care at home. Or no care at all afterwards. I'm so happy you had the chance to have an amazing experience with such an awesome person. I'm going to share this with lots of my pregnant friends in hopes they might try some of it or be open to accepting help.
I feel the same way, I had an awfully hard pregnancy, a traumatic birth, and most of postpartum I confined myself and shut out the world. No one talks about the grieving process of having your baby no longer be in you. the sense of protection that was there is lessened now that baby is out in the world. it was heartbreaking to me.
America is like push out the baby same day go home and take care of the baby no one really thinks of all these very very important things nobody spoils the mother when the baby is born like in China
My PPD was severe after both pregnancies and I’m pregnant again for a final time. We had minimal help and so many other big challenges that occurred along side having newborns (moving states, deaths in family, etc). Wish we had this kind of support in America. Might have enjoyed the newborn stage
I had a similar experience and 7 years later I am still feeling the effect. I never felt so alone, overwhelmed and depressed. It was horrible. I am so glad she got to have this experience.
I agree! A lot of focus isn’t on mom and it’s not encouraged for her to care for herself like this postpartum. She’s supposed to be solely focused on this baby but you cannot pour from an empty cup. I think work, hustle, and grind culture is so upheld here that we’re almost expected to return to work ASAP if we choose to do so.
i love how authentic this is, and the uniqueness of seeing this specific side and specific details of the chinese culture. thank you so much for sharing, taylor.
Many years ago the young women in the flat next door from me was sent home from hospital with her firstborn after a couple of days. I’ll never forget. She stood in the doorway and said, “I don’t know what to do”. “Isn’t someone coming to help you”, I asked. “No…and I don’t know what to do” as she glanced back into the flat to the newborn lying in the cot. It was so sad. I’d never had children, so I couldn’t help. In any case, how heartless was our system to send a first time mother home from the hospital with no ongoing support. This is a much more caring system.
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I’m seeing a lot of comments about the “no crying” 😆😭 here’s more on that:
In the past Mothers we’re told to rest their eyes so no reading, crying (nowadays the strict traditional pui yuets will say no screens). It stems from traditional Chinese medicine and the belief that the liver is linked to the eyes. It’s said that the large loss of blood during childbirth may weaken the eyes because blood is related to the Liver. We didn’t follow this rule, I believe most don’t nowadays, but things like goji berries were a big part of my diet to help with eye health.
Loving the all video! I would really feel happy and glad to try that out! Wow looks a great experience to have and learn from 🥰 you will be a great mom 😊
As someone with bad eyesight... does that mean my liver is at risk too?
that’s so interesting!! thank you for sharing this with us 😊
Oh people lol Thank you for your perspective! ❤️
I cried so much the first few weeks lol It would be hard not to!!
This woman is a wizard! She’s basically a nurse, massage therapist, lactation consultant, spa worker, professional chef…
Not to mention being a therapist to guide you through all those emotions.
What a luxurious experience! So glad she got to have that after her first baby.
This is basically what midwives were back in the olden days before they were ousted from the community by being labeled as “witches” during the witch hunts and men began to practice medical gynecology and eventually replace them
When my sister had her second baby it took 8 people to do what Carol did and even then with everyone combined it didn't go nearly as efficiently as this. Carol is a godsend
Yup, confinement lady is a profession. They live with you, they cook specific foods and they order the hubby around.
Girl, if I had had this kind of phenomenal care postpartum, my experience would have been completely different. America treats mothers like dirt. Made me cry watching this.
Don’t cry. If you cry I feel like crying too. ALL moms deserve the care that carol gives.😢
It's true. The love and care for her body mind and soul. It's beautiful. And absent from the US
You're so right... I was staying in the NICU with my baby and the nurse yelled at me for bleeding on the hallway floor because the only bathroom was a shared public one in the hallway. And I was struggling to walk or stand after experiencing every trauma and complication possible. I was barely alive. And they also didn't allow any food or drink in the room. It was a living nightmare. I should have been still a patient. After a few days of this, I did end up collapsing and being readmitted but then was not allowed to see my baby for those 24 hours. So, I had to be let go again so I could go to the NICU which was just on another floor. But rules... The USA is more fucked up than most people understand. Especially healthcare. It's worse than anyone is willing to admit. Truly nightmarish. And I have excellent insurance and the hospital is rated as one of the best in the country. So... I'm pretty sure everyone else is just dying. We do have some of the highest maternal death. So... Great insurance means torture and barely surviving. Anything else? You just literally die. And, even in the NICU, we were still expected to do all the childcare tasks ourselves. The nurses were only there to respond to emergency type care. We did not sleep at all. And got no help or food or survival.
@Phoxcherry Amen and hallelujah! I’m not religious lol but I felt that really needed to be said. I think you are 100% correct. I feel for every single mother out there who feels alone doing a task that takes a village and lots and lots of love for the mother as well. The west could learn a whole lot from these traditions and it would help in every aspect.
@@hobocode this made my stomach turn and my heart ache. I am so incredibly sorry that you had to go through that, and even more sorry that it sounds like literally every other mother has to as well. That system is well broken.
After my c-section I came right home to dirty laundry and dishes. Literally walked in and didn't sit down because no one cleaned for me. My husband begged to go back to work right away. I was left alone to do everything. This tradition seems so special and amazing. So glad to see women support during the toughest part of our life journey.
Begged the to go back to work?
Oh, my heart just broke for you. I have no words, except that no warrior can withstand the pains and dismay of a mother dedicated to her family.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that! You deserve better hun
@@canesugar911 right wtf? Why would you breed with someone like that in the first place.. or why is he still your husband. 🥴
@@Stevie-oy8zj i doubt she knew how he'd react that way. But yeah.... no more babies after that. And i think she should get herself snatched; save some money and move on when the child is older. But yeah............
As an American it blows my mind that women are actually treated so gently and kindly. Here in America, once you deliver that baby the countdown starts for how quickly they can get you up out the hospital bed and back to work
Right it’s so sad…..
Oh, my god. I thought women all get 3-5 months maternity leave to recover. Here in my country, women get 158 days to recover and bond with their child. And in the first month, all family members will pay special attention to the mom and let her to recover.
@@xueminyang5246 that’s amazing-which country are you in?! American maternity leave is 6-9 weeks.
@anhserc3534 I’m in China. The maternity leave is compulsory and the salary during the leave is paid by the government. The company can’t fire a woman who is pregnant or when she is in maternity leave. I think this pretty good for us to have babies, though many still don’t want to as they think it might reduce their career competition.
@@anhserc3534 And that's IF you get paternity time
I actually like it. They pay respect to the mother and baby while in the west they treat birth like it's nothing. A mother should be given time to bond with her baby and relax
It's one of those things that reminds me that I'm super lucky to come from a family where your mom will try to come and stay with you for a month or so to help out. Humans aren't supposed to do this on their own. And, like anything new, having someone to have your back while you work through it all is super important.
@noazucar Europes been caring for a long time tho, like paid maternal leave and such isn't new.
@@user-K8T yeah my mom came to stay with us every time I had a baby, it was so good to have her with me. Mom never breast fed (“only poor people do that” was the thought about it back then) so she was very uncomfortable with it 😂 but otherwise she was awesome.
@@richardmangelmann4975 paid time off is the LEAST they can do.
My best friend was back to work 3 weeks after giving birth. America doesn’t give a shit about babies or their mothers. What a shame
Sometimes people don't realize that postpartum care is as important as prenatal care. I mean you just pushed out a human being, that's very metal. Great that your body was taking care of, Carol seems like a great person to have by your side, and the food seems delicious.
THIS. Wish my country would realize this. The powers here just want women to make more tax payers, but provide little resources or respect to mothers, born babies, and motherhood. Glad to know there are other counties who do though! Gives me hope for the future.
Here in the US, I'm so grateful for my doula. She was there for both birth and postpartum and seriously kept us functional as a family. Taught my husband and i to be parents, truly. Don't know how we could have done it without her.
Not everyone can afford a to hire a personal chef....
YES, imagine the amount of blood you have lost.
@@user-ow1qs7jo7f no one was talking about that, we're saying it needs to be normalized and spoken about. Also typically your family would do this for you, not a chef. So no need to fret.
Oh god, am I the only one that needs a month with Carol even without having a baby? I just need this woman to teach me how to take care of my body in such a sweet way 🥺
Most definitely!
You're not the only one. I would love a month with this amazing woman and her teachings!
Yes, This is much needed!
OMG me too, what I wouldn't give for a month of Carol to help me! :`)
I need carol I think 😃🥰🧸💖
As a Chinese,i m so happy to see our tradition be promoted in this way.actually,not all Chinese women are able to afford such expensive care in professional Confinement Center after birth, it depends on family budget. Most of them are taken care by their elderly relatives at home,often by their mom or mother in law who are experienced
Hi dear please can u tell me what Chinese ladies put on wrap before binding wrap on stomach
Eggs or what because I heard in China at 12th day of birth chience ladies put wrap around tummy but 1st they spread raw eggs on it and 1 other chience spice so I want to know all details please if u can tell me I will be very thankful to you
I teared up while watching this. I had really bad postpartum depression and would’ve loved this treatment and emotional support, sleep, massages, comfort, help with household chores ect. from other women. I don’t think I would’ve suffered from postpartum depression so much if where I lived prioritized us mothers. Thankfully other cultures prioritize mothers’ mental and physical health in the postpartum period. ❤️
With my first I was the same so I'm tearing up
@@annaohare8263 It’s helps me to know I wasn’t the only one. Hope you’re doing well now mama❤️
This comment made me tear up! I hope you’re doing well now 🫶🏽🫶🏽
It’s no wonder out young ladies don’t want to have babies any more. It’s very sad. I keep telling my daughters that I would come and help for a few weeks, it’s what my mom did for me.
My daughter is going through this right now.
Her son is a little over two months old, she had induced C-section because she had very high blood pressure and she had a horrible flu so she was given birth on exactly the 37th week.
Then they put so much pressure on her to make the baby gain weight.
He was already a "preemie" born under stressful circumstances.
Instead of allowing a more natural expansion of his tummy and his eating and appetite,
they were forcing/stressing her to give him at least one liquid ounce per hour around the clock. Basically each feeding had to be so many ounces, if not she had to wake him up two hours later to complete what he didn't finish and start the new feeding, etc.
She says it was so stressful she was in tears, he was in tears, the cat was in tears, the husband was in tears, I was in tears.
It was no joke. Now the baby is nearly 3 months old and he is chunky and gorgeous.
And she told me he naturally just started eating more.
I can understand if there was an emergency situation, dehydration, other physical side effects of not getting enough food/fluids/nutrition, but that was NOT happening
Her OB/GYN gave her a medication for postpartum
but then they said that she had to find a regular psychiatrist and therapist because they were only equipped to do so much :(
Part of me wishes I had the skills to do with this lovely lady did, I would have loved to have taken care of my daughter in that aspect, but understandably she was not feeling visitors for quite a while after her first experience. It made people sad, some of them got a little irritated, but I understood and respected it and she knew I was here for her at the drop of a dime.
Needless to say it's been quite quite stressful and it often made me wonder if in America new mothers and babies should be handled differently
The biggest takeaway from this is emphasizing how focused on recovery the tradition is. Something we lost in the West especially in countries like the U.S. where there is no guaranteed maternity leave.
Yes. In some western countries you are expected to always work and never take time off unless you physically can't stand. It's insane.
I an Chinese. China kind of lost it too. So does a lot of countries. look at Japan where people literally work themselves to death. Not trying to hate my own culture but also it shouldn't be glamourized. We Chinese too are sometimes worked to death. The abuse children face because parents want them to be the best is insane. One thing I love about the west for all its flaws is we recognize that people are different. Call it trying to be woke, but I like the care that the west (at least in Canada) give for neurodivergent people for example
Urmm. The US is the only Western country that doesn't have maternity leave. We get a year in the UK.
US is the exception, not the example.
In Finland parents are given a baby box (shown in the beginning of the video). The supplies and clothes are really good quality and most are domestic brands. Parental leave is nine months with full pay, the parents can decide how much each will take. They can also choose to continue their parental leave after the nine months, but they will only receive partial pay. If the pregnancy ends, but has lasted longer than 22 weeks, the woman is entitled to full paid maternity leave to recover, she is also entitled to the same maternity allowance the government bestows to all new mothers.
The government will give a family allowance for each child every month until the child turns 17. For the first child it's about 95€/month, second 105€/month, third 135€, fourth 165€. So a family with four children would receive a monthly payment of 500€ from the government. Then remember that school is free, healthcare is free, children get a warm cooked proper meal at school (no fast food, the cooks actually cook) and daycare is heavily subsidised.
I had six weeks off (unpaid). I would have gone back to work sooner but I could not find a daycare that would take her until 6 weeks. I had to work two jobs so I could catch up on rent and medical bills while paying daycare. Such a depressing time of my life. I really don't know how I did not kill myself. Got very close. No family, just me and my boyfriend.
I need and want Carol. No baby, but … this just feels like love. Lol!! This confinement makes so much sense. The mom is so supported. Gets plenty of rest. No disturbance. Safe environment. Loving environment. Nurturing. This is brilliant. All new moms need this. I bet this saves lives and marriages.
Agreed. Every mother is amazing and deserves this kind of treatment.
Seriously, I need her too! Not pregnant yet, but I need to get on her waiting list lol . Hopefully she can travel to the US.
@@luxlifee6843 Girl. Have your baby abroad. It’s not my place to say any of that(No bio kids), but from my friends and associates experiences having left America/Returned home to work, live, give birth.. it’s better. *Whatever media* on certain channels are screaming right now about “Southern countries” not being able to aid birthing moms is fundamentally incorrect. But that’s another debate.
I think it would lower the risk of postpartum depression and psychosis for sure!
Yes! Carol please🙏 sans baby.
But I'm sure I'd get sooo much accomplished and end up perfectly healthy and balanced.
And then, i too would cry when she left.
1. I didn't expect to grieve with you at the end. Totally sobbed.
2. I cannot even imagine how phenomenal this was for your mental health.
3. Congrats on your baby!!!!
Me too 😢❤
Omg I didn’t expect to feel the same way but, it was beautiful see the help and bond formed between Taylor and Carol.
The best I like about the confinement culture is there’s 0 expectation for the mother to do any house chores, or provide childcare for the older siblings (if there are any), it’s just to rest and learn about bonding and nursing (if you choose to) the new born. They are also there to standup for the mother and remind other people of the household that the mother takes priorities at this stage. There are some downsides such as the high cost and the quality of individual service provider varies.
I went to work (took my baby with me) at 8 weeks. I was supposed to go back at 6 weeks but the family I worked for as a nanny got the flu.
With my second I was fortunate to be able to stay at home but was caring for my almost 2-year old pretty quickly after I got home.
@HELLUR Here in Toronto Ontario Canada after a woman gives birth she can take a year off and the government will help with money.💕 Maternity leave is one year and your job will be waiting!
@HELLUR that's crazy! Canada wants you to have time to bond with your baby 🐥🍼
@mikoy huio you realize that 8-12 weeks is 56-84 days- and at 1:36 you can see that most (not all) of those cultures have a 40 day period. According to the amount of days, in general mothers in the us get more time off from work to bond with the baby compared to the asian mothers.
@@gloomyscribbles Most women in the US can't take the 8-12 weeks you mention especially if it's unpaid, and many are home alone with little to no support. I'd take 40 days with a lot of support over the 3 months of little to no support I had.
To the women that will come home to a dirty house, with no one to cook for you, no one to help you, no one to even ask if you need anything, you are seen. You are valued. It will be ok, you will get through it without all this stuff.
It's true, I valued that comment, thank you.
Thank you!!! 😊 🥰
Yes, I’m sure the women sitting on their butts for two months getting massaged and special shampoos “saw me” from their high horse. So sick of social media influencers.
@@snowwhite5842 try to not sit in negativity or jealousy or anger, nor resentment. Life can be hard, but these mindsets just serve to make it difficult. Mentally more than anything else. Find a positive and cherish it. ❤️
@@SariennMusic73 I am in no way jealous. I wouldn't trade places with a person who leads this kind of life. I don't need a lecture about life being hard, I am very tough and I've been through some hard things in life. I accept everything in life as a valuable life lesson. I don't need your flippant advice.
In Mexican culture we have something called "la cuarentena" which translates to "the 40 days." It's basically the same concept that includes staying inside, having women in your family or community help out, avoiding cold showers, drinking hot soups, abstaining from sex, and binding the abdomen with a postpartum "faja." Fascinating how both customs are so similar!
Same here in colombia! It’s the most important thing tbh, and it’s usually the mother (now grandmother) that is in charge of the cuarentena. It makes the most sense, too
Same in Puerto Rico.❤️
We have same in Nigeria but for 90 days, it's called "Omugwo".
Its the same for arabs!! We do it in the UAE
Ohhhh, I heard about that, but I thought it was only for the baby. I thought the mother could leave, but the baby cannot step outside because their immune system is too weak. That makes a lot more sense though!
I first saw this video reproduced in a Chinese social media, so intrigued and come here to see the comments😊. It’s weird that, in China, we’ve been told for decades that we need confinement because we have weaker bodies and lack of workouts while western women are much stronger and healthier, so they can have ice-creams, icy water and go back to work right after postpartum and don’t feel a thing. Now I get to know that it’s mainly because of the different cultures and traditions. Literally, all women are vulnerable at that moment. All new mothers should be cherished and treated well.
同在国内看见，坐月子也是古人总结的经验啊。像分娩前一个月要多躺着，因为躺着能减少对腰椎的压力，躺着的时候最好腰下垫上垫子以保护腰椎的弧形。补充蛋白质催乳这些感觉都应该懂不必要讲。然后不能洗澡洗头，这个是因为古时候没有保暖的条件，怀孕期间比较虚弱容易着凉，这点现在有了供暖和吹风机就不怕了所以可以忽略。然后生姜水洗澡那个，因为姜生热祛寒，小时候不是很严重的感冒，我们就是把姜放酒精里加热，然后擦拭背心腹部额头脚心，擦了浑身热乎乎很舒服。我还给我室友弄过，结果他还上瘾了，因为太舒服了。最后棉布缠腰是因为，产后，腰椎还很脆弱，就跟绑腿一个道理，裹腰支撑了腰椎减轻了负担并有一定保护作用。我曾亲眼看到过一个坐完月子不久的女的摔倒然后腰椎断裂。应该就这些了。
I guess birth is the same all over the world.
Yes I wish that western woman weren't held to those expectations. I loved watching femininity really being celebrated and taken care of in this video.
@@張謙-o2z Thank you
I😊ó9p
This honestly looks like such a civilised experience. In the UK things are pretty barbaric. You’re shuffled out a hospital and into the ‘real world’ with minimal follow up the minute you can stand on your feet. What a beautiful custom, to truly care for a new mother, and something we should learn from!
Us in the uk can’t wait to go home because of how awful hospitals are tbh 😭💀💀 but the home experience taylor is having is so luxurious
The woman in the video paid for this service, because her and her husband are wealthy enough to afford it. It wasn’t given to her because she lives in an Asian country. In the USA we can hire a baby nurses to help us. It’s just that it’s to expensive for most of us to afford. But the same goes for Asian countries. This isn’t the norm there. The women who are lucky enough to do confinement in Asia, usually have their own mothers do everything the lady in the video did. Only a small percentage of Asian women can hire someone to help them with confinement, just like only a small percentage of American women can hire someone to help them after giving birth.
@@findingbeautyinthepain8965 yes, I’m not naive enough to think all Asian mothers can afford to hire in the help of a specialist. I am aware that it is common practice to confine (even for Asian mothers in the UK), usually with the help of a mother or mother in law. And it has its own controversies. My comment was more about the ritual itself and it’s focus on caring for the mother, not just baby, during the postpartum period which we lack as a norm.
@@findingbeautyinthepain8965the birthing and postpartum practices are still better in Asia and Africa than the west. For so called developed countries the maternal mortality rate is ridiculous and studies have shown the birthing positions in the west out a lot of pressure on the mother instead of working with gravity. These are practices from times when the poor didn’t have updated medicine or technology hence the food and wrapping technique. So yea they may pay for it but the origin definitely came from traditions of the common civilian
And the US is the same way unless you have good insurance or can afford to pay, most women don’t get this type of assistance unless they have mothers or support around them. But the food is more of my concern. She fed her vitamin rich foods and drinks which we don’t normally get postpartum not even in the hospitals.
I'm absolutely floored. I had an awful, devastating time with my postpartum experience, but I am crying tears of joy knowing that so many women in this world are so well-cared for in their postpartum journey. What I would've given for this... I couldn't even imagine what my life would be like today nearly 11 years after what I have gone through as a result of untreated postpartum depression and anxiety. Thank you for sharing this. ❤
What a loving heart you have to be thankful for others, you put that gratuity into words perfectly. I’m so sorry you had to suffer through that in such a important time 💓
Same... I am crying of joy for the others being able to be taking care off so well but also for myself as I still haven't healed mentally and physicly 4 years later....It could have changed my life do much... being without any family support in another country actually destroyed me.
@@naomil.888 Oh my God, your words broke my heart into a million pieces as I’m going through the same thing six years after giving birth to my son, sometimes I even wonder what’s wrong with me and why can’t I just be like any normal woman who’s given birth?! Living abroad with no family or support system is especially hard at times like these…
Ohh noo >.< I had my husband cheating on me pp. that led to depression and anxiety two years in and I feel like I lost a lot of my babies growing up because of him
@@memem8530 I would have never thought about how hard it is without any support or family around. I couldn't imagine it. I am sorry for us and truly hope we will get through one day. It still hard for me to feel like a real mom and not a fraud. I am scared to have another child too. My son is feeling lonely and ask for a baby but I can't help him. I just can't do it.
Every parent should be send home with a Carol for the first month. Even if you don’t believe in the medicinal aspect the support and information she gave was invaluable!
@niduoe stre feminism
@@twincherry4958 that's not feminism, in fact it could be argued to be the opposite
@@clivebby4877 You with me🙃
@niduoe stre You could absolutely do this in the US. There are many options for postpartum care. All companies are required to give you 6 weeks off for maternity leave. A month is 4 weeks. You can hire a postpartum nurse to do all of these things. This is expensive to do in Japan and in the US. You have to spend your own money to have these nurses. They aren’t free or given by the government.
Except in Japan, you get 2/3 of your salary for 8 weeks postpartum. Then you can take childcare leave for 67% or 50% of your salary for up to 1 year to 1.5 years. All of that is tax exempt. In the US, in all but 10 states, you get up to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave. So if you don’t have enough saved up, you have to go back to work quickly. I live in NY, so I had 6 weeks of disability pay which was up to 50% of your pay OR $167 a week…so I received $167 a week for 6 weeks because 50% of my pay exceeded the max amount of $167 (disability is now $170 a week). After that, paid family leave kicked in. At that time, it was 50% of my pay for 8 weeks (now it’s 67% of your salary for 12 weeks). After 18 weeks of disability combined with paid family leave, that’s it. You have no time left and have to return to work. All of this money received (disability and paid family leave) is also taxable. So, it seems like it would be a bit easier to hire someone in Japan vs the US because Japan gives A LOT more financial support to new parent’s than the US.
She’s basically a mother of mothers. This tradition nearly made me tear up. It’s so lovely that there’s someone to care for you ❤
As a foreigner living in Chinese country during covid, I too relied a lot on my confinement nanny and i’m so lucky to found a very kind one. I’ve also experience that sense of loss and grief when the confinement period is over. I remembered crying a lot 2-3 days before and after the confinement nanny finish her job. We do still keep in touch now, she would visit some day and meet up just to chat and have meal together. I’d say I gain a new friend through this experience.
May I ask how much it cost you for the nanny ?
@@southpeak6079 around HKD 10k_12k
@@southpeak6079 in mainland china i think it's at the same level or a little bit cheaper as in HK, around 10k Rmb, so 1400USD
I like that they don't let confinement traditions get "stuck in its ways." When they learn something new they change. When modern conveniences came about they adapted.
Imagine if we treated all physical recoveries like this, our overall health would be so much better. So happy you got to have this experience and share it with us.
This is such a beautiful thing to do for mothers. Carol was so loving and knowledgeable. She really seemed like what every post-pardum woman needs
Too bad more people can't afford this! How refreshing, it was such an incredible supportive experience.
We Chinese believe that women's immune system and function will decrease after giving birth, and the recovery period is one month. Therefore, the wife needs special care within one month of giving birth to a child. The task of taking care of is completed by the husband's mother. My wife is a newspaper columnist, and after giving birth, she didn't listen to my mother and secretly wrote newspaper columns on her computer. A month later, due to typing on the keyboard with her hands and looking at the computer with her eyes, her hands became very painful on rainy days and her eyes became dry and uncomfortable at night. My mother said that if she doesn't write within a month after giving birth to her second child, her illness will improve. My wife followed my mother's instructions when giving birth to her second child, and something magical happened. After a month, my wife's eyes and wrists no longer hurt.
When carol left I cried lol. She seems like such a good soul! Women who take care of moms and babies are something else! Thanks carol!!!
In Nigeria the Igbo tribe have a tradition called Omugwu. Very similar to this. Your mum (or any older woman of your choosing) moves in with you and takes care of you and the baby. They bath you and the baby, cook for you and make sure that the first 3 months are as easy as possible to help you smoothly transition into motherhood.
wow 3 months! I'm in sweden and I'm searching for that kind of help now. I'm not pregnant, but it would be good to know if there is that kind of help when I do choose to have a child. In our culture, the dad gets paid leave for 1 week (maybe 10 days) to help the mother at home, but I feel that's not enough time, and I'd rather have an older woman help me. Someone who knows what to do.
Exactly the same with Zambians.
Oh that's awesome. We have something similar in Ethiopia called "metares" and usually you move to your mom's house so she can take care of you from "40-80" days. It's awesome. Your family and friends visit you during that time. Neighbour's bring you all kinds of food. And they eat this type of fufu made with lots of wheat like barely called "genfo".
In South Africa each tribe has something similar as well, whereby your mom or aunt helps you out for about 4-6 months. She has to teach all there is to learn about caring for your baby as well as some traditional practices which need to take place to strengthen the baby's protection. Your abdomen is also tightly wrapped in a towel to make sure that it returns to its initial look and shape. The baby cannot be seen for about 3 or 6 months by those who aren't family.
I’m Nigerian too but Yoruba. My mom is super ready to that for me. Im not ready to have children yet though.
I literally cried watching this. I can’t imagine how differently my post partum experience and bonding with my baby would have been if we had something like that in the states. Post partum depression would decrease, maternal and child health outcomes would improve, there would be higher breastfeeding rates. I wish I could afford someone to do this for me. Carol was so sweet, initially I thought she was your actual mother in law but she’s definitely an honorary one now 💗💗
I feel the exact same way. There is almost zero support for mothers in the states. I was an absolute mess with a colicky baby. Our families live a long ways away too so that was challenging. It’s so nice to know that women in other parts of the world are better supported.
I completely agree!!!
@@CF. I know. It's so sad and awful. I prayed about not waking up every single day. I was in so much pain, depression, and beyond exhausted. No family support and very little help. You're treated as if you just went in for a dental checkup. C-sections and tough deliveries are no joke. I still have PTSD
this. I had terrible PPD but maybe it would have been better had I done something like this.
I was a shift supervisor, and my boss didn't let me approve extended paternity/maternity leave for employees even when we had enough people to cover all the shifts. Her response was, "Can't come back to work? Don't have a baby."
This is… unbelievably amazing. How they actually acknowledge that giving birth is actually intense and a type of trauma to your body, therefore you need a month to get better from it all. What wonderful traditions and recipes for healing. Focusing on rest an bonding.. no wonder so many moms in USA have post partum depression because you are expected to get up and go afterwards-you got a new being to take care of but no biggie just keep going! And you are so exhausted from the baby not sleeping and you are so drained.. this is amazing to have someone feed you, help you TAKE NAPS.
We Chinese believe that women's immune system and function will decrease after giving birth, and the recovery period is one month. Therefore, the wife needs special care within one month of giving birth to a child. The task of taking care of is completed by the husband's mother. My wife is a newspaper columnist, and after giving birth, she didn't listen to my mother and secretly wrote newspaper columns on her computer. A month later, due to typing on the keyboard with her hands and looking at the computer with her eyes, her hands became very painful on rainy days and her eyes became dry and uncomfortable at night. My mother said that if she doesn't write within a month after giving birth to her second child, her illness will improve. My wife followed my mother's instructions when giving birth to her second child, and something magical happened. After a month, my wife's eyes and wrists no longer hurt
I agree..I had a doula. With all 3 natural birth yiu feel like you came from from WAR. Yes it's like trauma to the body.
I agree with what you said
Carol is just like a family member, a teacher, nearly everything. Crazy. It’s hard not to cry while Carol leave.
Imagine? Being supported by a trained professional and ACTUALLY recovering from birth. The west has so much to learn! Thank you for this eye opening vlog!
Not the West. Just America. Every other western country has some form of proper maternity leave.
I’m so glad that you had this experience. I’m sad more people don’t get to experience this postpartum. My postpartum seasons in America (4) have been really traumatic and painful, and my body still feels so broken and worn out. I have always appreciated the way so many Asian cultures really honor and care for mothers.
Men and women cant even get along and respect one another in america. Elites fuel the feuds against one another. In korea and china, men and women respect eachother for their differences and roles in society. I dont think the usa will ever truely change until society changes first.
🙏💕
A lot of the countries that do this have unreal rates of domestic abuse. If they honored mothers, they wouldn't beat them. They need your ability to reproduce for them. They don't respect you, they need you.
Which is why to sin and be called having sinned against your mother is the biggest insult in every Asian culture.
Same
In Tanzania 🇹🇿 Africa we do 3months confinement aafter birth, moms just relax and bond with their baby, no worry about the rest of the world, just eat, drink and sleep for 3months😂
This makes so much sense. Pregnancy and birth are both massively traumatic processes for your body to go through so you need absolute rest both physically and emotionally. I imagine it really helps you connect with your baby too when you're not having to deal with daily life stresses. Having another woman to help you while you recover sounds so healing and comforting 💖
exactly.
When I retire, I want to help mothers with babies and children. Taking a night shift, watching the child while Mom takes a nap or shower, cook and clean for them, etc...
What a wonderful gift to give to people Rose, you must be such a kind person. ❤️
You'd be a perfect post partum doula!
You would make a great postpartum doula!!!
I think it's a postpartum doula service or something, u help with basic chores like laundry and dishes a few meals a week so mom can focus in the baby and recovery. I'm sure the hospital know where u can offer services to new moms who need a postpartum/ newborn nanny / night nurse
You know what, that doesn’t sound too bad
I live in the US and for my 3rd baby, my midwife made me do 15 days of confinement. 5 days in bed, 5 days around the bed and 5 days around the house. As an American, I have anxiety when I’m not accomplishing things. It’s very difficult for me to sit and rest. So I didn’t follow this rule completely but my post pardum was much better and I recovered much quicker.
I like this idea, but not sure how it would work when having your second kid.
@@sweetcatastr0fe It was super tough since I had a 1 and 3 year old. But the very cut and dry standard helped my family and friends volunteer to help. My in-laws came to meet the baby as soon as he was born and then took my toddlers for a couple of days, then my parents took them for a night and they basically had sleep overs for a week. My husband set up our room to be a all in one kitchen/bedroom so I could just grab food from the nightstand while he was at work. It was super weird to just lay in bed for 5 days. The second 5 days was easier bc I could fold/put away laundry, straighten up my bathroom, organize my nightstands, ect. And then I ended up spending most of day 11-15 in my room anyways bc it was so organized and clean. 😁
@@sweetcatastr0fe That is why in many Asian countries your mother or MIL or a confinement nurse would move in with you
In Asian countries lots of people stay with their moms before and after giving birth and their moms take care of their daughters in traditional ways.
Of 5th child, like me. 😅
Carol seems like an angel. I’m not pregnant or a mother but I want her to come and ginger bathe me and give me soup 😭
Sorry that it took me so long to upload! I’m hope you enjoy getting a glimpse into my postpartum life living with a Pui Yuet (Confinement Nanny). This video could have been over an hour long because I had so much footage and things I could go into, but I decided to keep it more condensed. If you have any questions feel free to ask them here (especially on anything I didn’t cover)!
My family and I have loved your journey, and have appreciated you sharing with us all ♥️ Levi is such a precious beautiful angel 👼 We love your whole family ♥️ Please give Rosie a belly rub 😋♥️🌸🌺♥️
Why did you do confinement lady instead of confinement Centre? :)
@@huijessicaI wanted to be in the comforts of my own home and have my home set up for care (know which items to use, how to cook certain dishes, etc), so the transition would be easier. We don’t have many postpartum centers here in Hong Kong (I could only find one), so hiring Pui Yuets (or mother/mother-in-laws helping) are more common.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! ( ◜‿◝ )♡ I loved following every step of it. Greetings from Colombia ❤️
Hey taytay, it's so nice that you're back, because your literally the only youtuber I regularly watch 😅😁😊 it was really interesting to see something like that because I never heard of that before (only because of your insta). I actually would like to try the ginger water shower 😅 it must be soo nice to have someone besides you after pregnancy. I never heard that you can hire someone for something like that in Germany. Thanks for letting us see ! Levi is so cute btw 😁😊
I'm Chinese Canadian but I use Chinese social media, and the sitting the month is pretty much a test to their marriage. I saw a lady sharing that because her husband was caring and helped with all the chores through the month when she's the most vulnerable physically and mentally, every time she gets angry and argue with him she'll remember how he took things in charge during the sitting and she'll forgive him because she knows he's trustworthy. I also saw people who got really screwed over during the sitting by negligent mother in law/husband, and they can really hold a grudge for life
If my husband did that after I birthed a baby I would forgive pretty much anything he does after that too! Great husband
I'm in the US. My husband works very hard so that I could quit my job to just relax and have as comfortable, stress free pregnancy as possible. He also helps to clean, cook, and run errands for me when my symptoms are too intense (fatigue, morning sickness etc). Owning his own business, he also arranged his projects where he would be able to go with me to all my OB appointments and take off a month from work to take care of me postpartum. On days where he is irritable, says stupid things, or whatever less than perfect trait comes out I have so much more compassion for him in those moments because of the sacrificial way he loves me and our soon to be born baby at a time where we need his support most. Bonus that he looks like a 6'7 slightly older Chris Hemsworth lol. Men like this exist. Don't settle, ladies 🥰
That makes a lot of sense. He had her back during a vulnerable time
I love how open minded you were without "exoticising" or "othering" it. This was beautiful.
True.
I mean she's lived there for like a decade so it's not exotic to her
I definitely like the body wrapping, I would probably practice that if nothing else. I think this is an amazing idea and I wish America would adopt this into our health insurances/maternity care. Pregnancy is a HUGE toll on the female body, we absolutely need time to rest and recover.
It is so awful how you are expected to become a mother in the US. Everythinf depends on how much money you got. If you have little, you and baby just have to suffer so much
I got a tip from family to ask for a C-section wrap in the hospital even though I had a natural birth. I do that with each of my kids and wear it every day as my "body wrap".
So my heart broke a little when I watched this video because I was completely on my own after my two births. No pampering or support. When I saw the wrapping of your belly I thought wow! That’s exactly what I needed. I have been dealing with 23 years of my abdominal wall healing improperly. What an amazing experience
Gosh, I am so sorry. What did the father do?
I'm with you common ground garden This caring treatment would have been so appreciated
YES!!! The wrapping was something I have never heard of. I have 3 young adult children and still have a split abdominal wall.
the first thing my granny did for my mom after she gave birth to me, was wrapping her stomach, I am german so I guess some tricks are universal :D
@@SC-ey8bp I’m surprised you never heard of it, in the hospital they usually give new mothers belly wraps to use for recovery.
Chinese confinement seems such a logical and healthy way to navigate the beginning steps of the journey of the new mom and baby. Initially I had disagreed with the no air conditioning and no hair washing (although I too have long hair and enjoy the idea of a hair vacation), but am pleased that confinement rules have been updated. Carol has a great sense of humor and positivity. What a gift that must be to all of her clients. THANK YOU so much for sharing such a personal experience. I wish Western healthcare was as nurturing for all.
In the real world very few people can afford to hire somebody like Taylor did. I would have loved to have been pampered and have had someone cooking for me and doing everything else. This all sounds wonderful but how much did it cost?
@@sueu6263 im sure it costs a lot to hire someone for this but a lot of people have family members help out during the confinement period mother, mother inlaw, aunts etc
A mother-in-law would have been a very different experience I think.
Girls I know it's costy, however, we are the ones that deserve good treatment during post partum period. Let's plan and orgazine our buget to allow us to properly heal even for at least 15 days.
I decided to go frugal on my spendings, I'm now able to save so much and have it in investiments. I'm preparing to get pregg by the end of next year and hire some one to take care of me (like Carol lol) for like a month to 2 months and have a full year out of the workforce after my delivery. But I'm only able to do this cause I have removed extra consumerism of my life and own no so much stuff and so happy for it.
I hope you can have the chance to do this if you don't have familiy member available to give you the necessary support. Always remember, no one going to rescue us but ourselves.
@@TheCelmap agreeee 100% 🖤
Interesting to see similarities in Chinese and Mexican cultures. My Mexican mother-in-law made me fish stew to help with breast milk production after giving birth to my first baby.
There is a book in China called 《山海经》"Classic of Mountains and Rivers", which displays a map not of China, but of the world. More than two thousand years ago, ancient Chinese people had already arrived on the American continent.
I dont think any new mother is ever prepared for how difficult breastfeeding is. I was 15 years old when I had my daughter. My nurses were blown away at the fact I was determined to breastfeed. Being so young, not many adults gave me much credit for the fact that i was young but parenting very well. I cried and cried when i had trouble feeding her and i felt like such a failure when i had to supplement until my milk came in. When it finally came in though, dear god i couldn't go anywhere because i was constantly wet down my front. i was a milk cow. I was able to freeze and donate some of my milk because it filled our freezer in no time. Be kind to new moms who are breastfeeding, its one of the hardest jobs a mother will ever have.
I know there must be so many who judge you, but I’m so proud of you
I thought breastfeeding is the norm everywhere?
@@sjjdhwhjw1257 it is set as a norm in society but indoors, women actually have alot of issues with it. Even pregnancy and birth. Every person's experience is different
@@sjjdhwhjw1257 it's not abnormal but I would not expect a teen mom to be doing it and I think a lot of people would think the same thing
@@sjjdhwhjw1257 Teen mothers often have trouble with milk production. My grandmother breastfed a teen mother's baby while she was still in hospital after having my father because the girl wasn't producing colostrum.
I really wish we did something like this in the US. We are expected to just push through the pain and return to work asap and put baby in daycare. If you do choose to be at home longer, society judges you for being “lazy”.
capitalism made it seem like being pregnant and recovering from it was being lazy and unproductive. Take care of yourself and your body
Many European countries pay moms and dads to stay anything from 6 months to 1 year with their baby. It's just how it's supposed to be. Before modern society women worked exclusively at home for a reason, it was just how they balanced it. It wasn't super correct but considering a woman wouldn't have birth control at all, i mean, what could they do?
But hey. If you do wish a service like this, why not create one? I know it sounds super crazy but I think that if well publicized on social media, people would easily contact these services!
@@nueiart1077 in the US they probably don't expect the mother to give breast milk? But in general they have the same problem with holidays and 'sick days'. That entire work system is a bit broken
I just gave birth in May and I only got 3 months off. 2 months to actually spend time with my baby. That is not enough time at all. By the end of July I have to go back to work already. Something is really messed up with the birth system in the U.S
@@yarixzamendoza6314 I'm very sorry you cannot have more time to bond with the baby. I truly wonder what happens when the baby is born with problems? Could you get more time off? (sorry I'm curious to understand)
I feel so neglected as a woman in the United States. We get treated so poorly after childbirth and are expected to do so much. My boss was texting me 2 weeks PP with my second baby, asking when I'd be back. I wish we had more traditions like this. I also like the Korean PP care facilities. Wish those existed here. (if they do I just dont know of them/probably couldnt afford it)
Same. Heck a lot of friends were in active labor still texting their coworkers trying to get work done.
Oof. I’m pretty sure here in the UK, you’re not allowed to ask when someone is coming back in that way if they are on maternity (or sick leave). Once maternity leave starts, the employer should assume you will have a year off, can’t ask your return date, and you continue to get your job “perks” (company car etc), and entitlements - such as annual holiday time (usually 4 weeks excluding public holidays). I don’t know what the answer is for you American ladies, I’m sad about your situation and don’t know how it has all got so bad. ☮️
@@KitchenWitchery very sad that people have to fight for being treated like human beings and have to do it all by themselves (in this case mothers). Instead of helping each other live a joyful and happy lives we have to sacrifice ourselves for few bastards with power.
@@noodlepipkin im due back work next week (here in uk) after having 9 months off maternity. I was entitled to a year off but only 9 months was maternity pay which isn't great pay. I also had to give them a date I'd be back before I left. I still get all my holidays aswell
Imagine men were the ones giving birth the whole system would be so different. But also still the same as in it would still revolve around them haha.
Probly support them more than the babies too lol.
In our culture(Tanzania) almost every woman goes through confinement, and you have mostly a family member who is available taking care of you in the first month. We also do a lot of soups and porridge and lighter foods to support lactation but pretty basic ones, not as complicated as the chinese ones. They also do some form of wrap but the one is the video is way professional, and hot water massages like everyday until your back heals. Super grateful to understand why it helps and I've learnt a lot from the video, thank you.
I'm actually a bit jealous. This needs to be a service every woman recieves after child birth, it would make such a huge difference.
In America we do have post partum doula's that offer some support but it is not quite as knowledgeable as this Chinese tradition and also more expensive than most people can afford.
Its the same with Japanese people.
This is nice to see. Being Eastern Orthodox Christian, I was supposed to stay home for the biblical 40 days postpartum, get rest and do nothing except for bonding with the baby. Seeing how this is a thing in most cultures it is infuriating that here in the US a woman is expected to get up and go back to work 8-12 weeks after labor
Orthodox gang, hi there! And yeah, this has inspired me to really make the most of those 40 days and really spend them healing and bonding with the baby (I'm expecting my first)
@@nightlysobbing Congrarulations! I definitely recommend taking full advantage. Get your mom or grandma or somebody to be there to help you with housework. Postpartum doulas are also an option.
Unfortunately many orthodox Christians do not value enough their traditions
I've just become Orthodox and already had two kids so I didn't know about this! So interesting, the emphasis on rest and bonding.
8-12 weeks after labor is 56-84 days which is a lot more than 40 days? Is the biblical 40 day time different?
I never received this, nor did I even know that it existed. I live in the US, and my pregnancies and postpartum were very tough. When my friend had her baby though, I had her live with me for over a month to help with her new baby, and let her heal. I cooked for her and took care of the baby a lot. It actually meant a lot to me to be there for them because my last couple pregnancies were miscarriages. I do have 2 healthy kids, but the miscarriages were hard. Women, you are beautiful and wonderful.
This kind of practice is a vital part of the Asian culture although I do hope the the US can adopt this one day 😊
You are an amazing friend! I wish every women had a friend to care for them after giving birth. Then that woman could repay their friend by doing the same for them when they have a baby. 🥰
@FindingBeautyInThePain , that is such a sweet comment. Thank you, and I hope you are blessed immensely in your life.
I think you can start your own tradition with your own experiences to start sharing with others and offer your it as services overtime since there is a demand for it. This has been a long practise in South East Asia. We even have confinement centers because it's a must for any of us who can afford it. Though I personaly love the Carol service as it was more common in the past. The personal touches and comfort of your own homes feels best.
@@summersmeadow, thank you for your feedback. 💗
My family is Mexican and we do very similar things like the Chinese confinement but we call it cuarentena it’s 40 days. I’m currently pregnant w my first baby & it’s very true everything they say. This will help you physically & mentally also in the long run so you won’t get sick quickly or have other health problems. My mom has 3 kids all c-section & my grandma took care of her and us for 40 days & thank god she is very strong with no health issues 💜✨. It works ladies do this for u & ur babies. Try to gather as much information if your new to this topic it will help you in the long run. Try to find someone to help u even though u have to pay them. It’s for ur health and sanity. We got this 🥳 💪🏼.
I'm Spanish and Cuban and you're so right. I love how we view childbirth and Motherhood and the extra love care and support new Mother's need.
You know how much Big Pharma, Big Baby, Big Insurance would raise holy hell by using lobbyist to block any chance of having something like this as a country wide standard.
How else could they prey on new Mother's insecurities and fears and the money they make by putting a bandaid over the gaping wound that is postpartum in the US.
Those in power say they care but in truth regardless of the party they don't give a fig about what we as Mothers go through and what it does to our children and spouses.
Tender and supportive care for all new Mother's!
USA take some notes! Our American mommies need this care especially with the push on getting back to work and just hoping you might get family to help you at all
I mean it still cost 27000
That's what a postpartum doula does
There is no innate value, from an American societal perspective, to motherhood. More like "You made the choice to give birth...now raise the child". Hence, why there is minimal governmental support for working class/or blue-collar pregnant women.
USA has doulas...I also don't know a single person that would be able to afford 20,000$ for this.
Actually birth and postpartum doulas cost about 1k-2k in America. Don’t know how much a live in doula would cost, or if you can even hire one in America.
I want to be "a Carol" for my own daughters in a decade or so when they reach this stage of life. A good way to show them love.
Yes! that would be lovely
That's exactly what I took away from this too...
The world needs more Carol's
Same!
Jesus loves you 🙂
I started to cry half way in because that's literally my dream job that I didn't know about. Such a beautiful job to guide new parents and the new earthling. I always wanted to combine household, caring, babies, psychology and nutrition but never knew how. Now I'll look up if and how I can do this in my country, thank you for that. Now my additional nutrition degree won't be useless that I anticipated using for something else that isn't comparable to the joy this type of job would offer. Carol is such a sweetheart, very inspiring and she gives away so much positive energy! I'm very happy for you that you have found her!
Even if this specific service isn't a thing in your country, I'm sure if you started a housekeeping and home chef service for post partum mothers that alone would be very helpful and appreciated
@@wowwhopissedinyourcheerios8089 I also thought about that, I think it's a great idea! Even though I would like to integrate more, I understand that this would be a very difficult thing to do because of all the regulations I yet don't know about.
This is such a great idea and calling. Beautiful.
If there aren't facilities in your country, look up doulas in your area. They tend to work with women during the pregnancy and birth, but maybe you can apprentice under them and maybe make connections with some interested in starting a postpartum facility. After more experience, you can consider becoming an independent postpartum care specialist, make a site, and advertise your services. There's definitely a need for stuff like this.
Yes, go for it girl 💜💜💜💜
why did i watch this whole thing when i’m not pregnant nor have i ever been pregnant? 😂 it shows how interesting and fun this video was. and carol seems like just the most amazing, warm light in your life. i’m happy that you had an experience like this!
I wish all cultures had something like this. Especially in the west, we focus so much on the baby, the mother is very much an after thought. So happy you had this lovely woman to teach you and support you through the toughest time postpartum. ❤
Actually, I believe in The Netherlands we do have something similar. We call them "kraamzorgers" and they basically help you in the first few weeks to make sure the baby feeds, thar you know how to take care of it. (Guard the mother from having to meet every single member of their extended family un rhe first few days after the birth...). I don't know any better than rhat they exist and help but I do not have a baby so I don't know the details as to how long they stay but I think they are included in the insurance.
Actually a lot of cultures do, specially Asian, Arabs, African. Its really amazing how similar they are in terms of the month period, the mother staying worm and the food.
Most traditional cultures do. In Jamaican culture, ours is 40 days.
@@jumanahhusain4584 I think I heard Latin American cultures also do something along these lines. There’s something about Western cultures that has changed familial bonds and traditions. I think enforcing boundaries and individualism pays a major part of it and I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing but at the same time, collectivism and that sense of community and family are not all bad even if I think it does play into generational traumas. If we could find some balance between the two would be nice but I have no idea what that would look like or if it even is possible.
“You are my grandson, okay?” Took me out 🤣🤣 she’s so sweet and you can see how genuinely she cares about you!!!!
I totally cried when Carol left, oh my - what a beautiful thing she did for you and she's got so many grandchildren!!
I cried too, she seemed like a lovely person!
Me too 😭
Same! I didn’t expect that!
Thank you so much for making this video. I'm a Canadian born Chinese and my mom would always try to explain this process to me but it was hard to understand why they do what they do. It's funny how it takes a Canadian living in HK to re-explain the process to me....and now it's clear! I really appreciate the effort put into making this video! 👏
We Chinese believe that women's immune system and function will decrease after giving birth, and the recovery period is one month. Therefore, the wife needs special care within one month of giving birth to a child. The task of taking care of is completed by the husband's mother. My wife is a newspaper columnist, and after giving birth, she didn't listen to my mother and secretly wrote newspaper columns on her computer. A month later, due to typing on the keyboard with her hands and looking at the computer with her eyes, her hands became very painful on rainy days and her eyes became dry and uncomfortable at night. My mother said that if she doesn't write within a month after giving birth to her second child, her illness will improve. My wife followed my mother's instructions when giving birth to her second child, and something magical happened. After a month, my wife's eyes and wrists no longer hurt
Carol seems like a woman in a league of her own. What a delightful person to have with you. Thanks for sharing her with us!
I love this! Pregnancy takes a huge toll on a women's body and in the US we just never take that into consideration. A women's body needs to heal and it's so important to heal and bond with your baby. I can definitely tell how good you look from everything that Carol did for you.
it's pretty bad to be a woman in the US these days...especially after last week.
I'm thinking of getting pregnant in Silicone valley and there is no post birth centers here except chinese ones!! Which would be ok except I don't speak Chinese!! hahahaha
My preggo emotions were full on watching this. Tearing up at how beautiful the 4th trimester was for Taylor and by the end a streaming hot mess knowing damn well the US could never value us enough to bless us with Carol’s.
@@Conscious.Consumer the way new mothers are kicked out of the hospital by day 3 is simply unheard of in Asia.
@@jenniferlee3562 With my first baby I gave birth at 1:15 am and was discharged at 5:00 pm the same day.
I was exhausted.
Here in Somalia we have something similar to this. it actually lasts for 40 days after birth. Neither the mom nor the baby are allowed to leave the home. No chores, she has to eat a lot of healthy food . The mom has to rest and relax. Usually the whole family helps her around . The woman has to prioritize her sleep and well being and by the end of that period we have small ceremony called “afartan bax” is such nice gesture for the new mom.
Why did I cry hearing her say “you’re my grandson.” 😢 My son and my husband and I don’t have any family. It’s just the 3 of us. No grandparents, brothers , sisters, no grandparents or parents.. No one. And I hate absolutely hate that my 10yo doesn’t have grandparents. I’m so thankful we have each other. But god I wish we had ppl who loved us.
I feel that keenly.
My family was very close until my Grandmother the matriarch died and then everything fell apart.
I grew up in a VERY large Hispanic and Southern extended family but those I was the closest too have died and the current generation is WAYYYY too narcissistic to care about anyone but themselves.
Now since my husband and I lost our son 3 years ago we only have my Mother and the 2 of us to handle everything.
My Mother is currently starting her battle with dementia which my Grandmother, her Mother died a horrific slow death, which makes everything so much harder.
Most ppl don't realize what it's like not having anyone outside your family you can call for any type of help.
I have no idea why this showed up in my feed but goodness, this was fascinating. And Carol is an absolute angel. Every new mom needs a Carol.
What a magical experience. I wish I had this with all three of my girls. My husband went right back to work after I had our third baby and had only two days in the hospital. We came home and my body had no time to rest and was on survival mode. I feel like this is why so many women also suffer from postpartum so badly in America. I love watching your journey Taylor since you lived in Japan and met Tom. Aka elbowson
I agree so much.
This is why paternity leave is so important!! 100% of the focus is on the new baby, and mom has needs too! That’s why they say “it takes a village”, but in the US we don’t have that support network because everyone is at work.
Same it was brutal. I popped my stitches doing everything myself.
I think a lot of daughters would also feel closer to their own mothers if they had this kind of guidance. It's amazing how cultural tradition can create such a sense of respect, security, unity, and bond. Technically, this experience would benefit the whole world. 🙏
Yes I agree 💯
I love how genuinely eager to learn and respectful Taylor is - I know too many Western women who would look down their noses at this, but the curiosity and humility that Taylor brought to the experience allowed her to truly benefit from it. All new moms should have this kind of support and nourishment after giving birth.
Hell yeah I want this!! A month where I can sleep a full night, someone to entertain my baby, make me food, massage me......what a dream.
I guess you know the wrong Western women....
Could u guys please not pull all western countries into this? Europe in that matter is extremely different to the US, we get up to a year paid maternity leave and such. Please just refer to the US if you say something US specificities and dont know how it is in other countries...
@@richardmangelmann4975 and plenty of women in the US would love this. Read the comments.
this made me so emotional. I have only ever lived in the US and have always been afraid of motherhood. The amount of support and care for mom and baby is so wonderful and should be the standard. All of the attention to nutrition and connections to the body are so wonderful. Like food can be so healing we literally are what we eat. I always knew it was messed up how moms are kind of forced out of the hospital as soon as possible then have to go back to work super quickly but to really see the complete opposite has been a shock. America's fast paced work centric culture does not value mom and what she goes through at all!!! Seeing this made me realize its not motherhood I m truly afraid of, its the lack of support. Even with a partner, the culture here does not support motherhood and its sacrifices and the healing that needs to happen. wow thank you for this insight.
Wow. You took the words out of my mouth! I felt this same way. Still do cuz in canada it's not much better at all. Should I think about giving birth, I want to get a postpartum doula or what this lady Carol is.
I couldn't have said it better myself. The lack of support, any support, is scary and to be honest, very sad. We really live in a lonely world.
@@aliciaguy679 we really honestly do 8(
Yes, I also had this realization a few years ago now.... I'm not afraid to be a parent figure in children's lives... I just think it's BS how your family, friends, community, and society abandons yo uto raise this baby on your own and then folks wonder why parents pass on so much trauma to their children!!!
This is something I think is happening widespread across the US.
Then people despise parenting, support the abortion culture and you can't blame them thinking it is impossible to combine being a parent with normal, but less work-centric life.
US women should push for government-mandated maternity leaves, more support systems for young families as part of their "reproductive" and "healthcare" rights.
Also more focus on preventive healthcare...
Every new mother deserves this. Respecting the role of a birthing mother is paramount to a healthy society. Beneficial to bub too to have a calm and rested mum.
I think motherhood has been labelled inferior by all the fake feminism precisely so our needs are kept unexpressed even more. I think there are many interests in that.
My mother's experience with Chinese confinements when she gave birth to me and my brothers around 30 years ago were a struggle, according to her. She couldn't use the air conditioner, had to wear long sleeves in the Malaysian hot weather, no showers and no washing her hair (she secretly did it once a week but was caught by my maternal grandmother and she was furious). She didn't like ginger too so she didn't enjoy the food that her mother prepared (there was ginger in everything). She also felt restricted because there were a lot of things she couldn't do.
I always thought these confinement were miserable due to my mother's stories, but I'm glad to hear things has changed a lot since her days. And having the right 陪月 seems sooo important to ensure a smoother recovery.
Thanks for the educational video and I wish your family the best!
I think that having a stranger vs a family member creates far less friction.
That must be stressful for her when stress is not good for her health
Sometimes it is horrifically stressful. I think individual circumstances vary a lot.
I wonder how it would have been like if she would have found herself alone at home with a newborn and trying to do everything by herself with no help at all?
Depends on how strict and unfun the person is lol sometimes nice ppl will sneak you forbidden treats!
basically hiring the best person ever as a service . shes just amazing; its clear that she is nurturing by nature!
As a Midwife from days gone by, I found this Hong Kong Chinese Confinement ( as carried out by Carol) has many wonderful practises. It honours the woman and her role in life and is highly supportive. Those teas fascinated me along with the meal preparation and the types of food and Fungi. I can see the sense in bathing using that ginger infusion. I would liked to have experienced such devotion and care after the birth of my child. I wonder how the women cope in our western society now, and whether they would go to all that trouble (and expense) to have this kind of post-natal care and attention. It might help prevent post-natal depression and definitely contribute to positively bonding of the child to the Mother. I sometimes consider that our 'Modern' society with its constant demand for action, quick food and takeaways, tend to treat the child (baby) as a requisite to life and sometimes as an inconvenience or a disposable commodity. Life is viewed in the practise by this HongKong Chinese Confinement, as precious and must be protected. 🙏
The way they laughed together, and smiled with each other, what a stunning display of women supporting one another!!
Yes! That's what I was impressed by too.
In the US women are pushed to get up and out as quickly as possible.
"Did you see that Sandy was in church today? She just had her baby on Wednesday!"
Women getting back to work only a few weeks - not even 6 weeks which is the customary time given off after birth - and expected to get right back to work.
I wasn't depressed postpartum, but I was exhausted.
1 gave birth to 3 children in 4 year - plus miscarried once - and practically had 3 babies at a time.
My husband came from a generation that provided little to no help with taking care of the baby - or house or other children.
I was lucky to have had a large friend base to get support and with my 3rd baby they often took my youngest 2 for several hours.
Then brought them back along with dinner.
I'd definitely save for that service if I knew about it.
I wonder who can afford such gem like Carol?
@@Freiya2011 apparently she only charges around $3,000USD!
@@peachesmontclaire üff!
I see why moms, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, etc. around have been important in lots of cultures. We all need those knowledgeable support system around us in the special & vulnerable times in our lives!
Honestly, having my mom around after giving birth was a mistake. Not all of us need or want that.
@@cinderwhite I think being employer and employee made it different with Carol as compared when you have a relative around
I didn’t this existed in other cultures… it’s called “Setswetsi” in Setswana. You move back home for a couple of months after having your baby and your mother/aunt works as your “confinement nurse”. Non-family members aren’t allowed to see the baby before they turn 3 months old.
That's awesome. Most of the time you don't want germs around your newborn.
True
@@noxirs7059 and yet people inject their newborns with all sorts of heavy metal laced vaccines. Its sad.
Hi, I'm also from Botswana
@@yoberna9065 Hey. I'm from South Africa :)
Omg Carole seems like such a wonderful woman. It always makes me happy to see women supporting women postpartum.
This video was so educational! I want a confinement nanny now! 😭😭😭
Hi Julia! I was going to obsessively recommend this to you on your channel because thought it would be great info. 😅 hope your day is going great 😊
I wish i has a confinement nanny.
I cried watching this! I had my baby 10 months ago and the thought of having someone there to take care of me sounds so lovely 😭😭😭
Same ! This made me emotional 😭
Me too! 😭
When my son was born, my in-laws introduced a few of these concepts to me. My mother-in-law was born in the US and my father-in-law was born in China. I learned a lot about hot and cold foods, not actual temperature, but the effect on my body. I was encouraged to stay home and to stay warm and my mother-in-law made a special chicken soup with a lot of ginger in it. My in-laws also came over to watch my baby every day when I returned to work. My mother-in-law would do dishes and occasionally mow the lawn while my father-in-law took care of his grandson. Watching this brought back so many sweet memories.
My grandmother always wanted my first baby wrapped up so much that he would get too warm. I would take the blanket off and she would put it back on. It drove me crazy. This was in the summer in Georgia mind you.
I think this should be done everywhere- in every country. It seems incredibly important & nourishing for mum and baby. I would have cried my eyes out when she left also.
I hate youtube for recomending this to me I'm sobbing. I wish I could experience literally one fraction of the comfort you got.
This looks wonderful, I was discharged after 24 hours and grocery shopping that night. I went into labor a month early so wasn't able to do it before having her. Nobody cooked a meal or even coffee/tea waiting on me. I was "lucky" and got 4 weeks off with my new baby before returning to work. My husband got 1 day off. I made it just like many do but it seems so cruel to treat women that way. You've just had s child but feel guilty for stopping working and house chores for more than a few days.
Yes but having a baby taken physical mental and emotional strain on you and nothing in the world compares to tht therefore housework is trivial and you deserve to rest and heal mentally and physically.
Yup my hubby was fired for wanting 2 days off with our second baby, absolutely nuts
Couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to say goodbye to Carol, she seems so loving and nice to have around 😢 glad you’re still in touch tho
"Eat the COOOOORN" - I died. This woman is amazing! I want her as my post-delivery assistant too!
Thank you for showing us this amazing and pretty interesting tradition! I subscribed :3
I remember when I gave birth to my son, a Chinese woman had told me about this and that it was so hard for her when she gave birth alone to her kids in Canada. I thought it would have hard to not get out for a month. I see what she meant now. I wish I knew about the body wrapping. My tummy looks so bad now.
As a 62 year old mother of 2, I wish I had this woman in my life. In the USA, you are lucky to get a minimal amount of time off after giving birth. I love the fact that the confinement recognizes the incredible physical demands that are put on a woman’s body during pregnancy, labor and after. To take care of the mother so she can heal, get back balance.
You've been duped for decades to think the US is a 1st World country. But the biggest con was the so-called "Feminist Movement."
@@SomeOne-ji8ny , boy you got that right!
Sadly in the US it’s more about how fast can you bounce back and get back to work after baby is born! And how fast you can get back into your jeans! Baby gets here and everyone forgets that mom needs recovery as well as taking care of the new baby and the whole thing is way more than 6 weeks and done. I have 3 girls in their 20s and I was so sad watching this because my experiences were nothing like this. My husband did his best the week he had off, but I also had post parting depression and didn’t realize it until years after I had my girls. I wish the US would get it together!
It is so touching to have someone of western culture to accept and take time to understand these Chinese culture. Sometimes when explaining Chinese cultures to a non Chinese person can be quite hard and it can feel like I am being judged so thank you 😊
By the end of confinement you were glowing with health and well being. Carol is truly amazing! So glad you were able to give that to yourself and your baby. I wish mothers in the US could access that level of care.
I understand the no cold foods, even for general body things. My mom is Chinese and actually from Hong Kong. She always told me when I was in my teens to not eat cold foods while I’m on my PMS. And I do believe that. It feels like period is heavier or has more frequent flows if I do. It’s kinda silly but warm foods just helps with body circulation etc. And it eases your stomach pains, especially when it hurts. I always drink hot tea or warm water when my stomach aches. Helps.
Thanks for the info! I had no idea that was a practice/part of a culture/way of life. Going to try!❤
后来这些经验被浓缩成一句话 多喝热水😂
This was beautiful. This is exactly the type of care that every mother should get postpartum. I was extremely lucky to have my mom and dad visit us for a month when we had our daughter. They didn't stay with us, but my mom would come over every morning and would stay until dinner. She would take our daughter when I needed to nap, she would cook and she would clean. I now know how much of a blessing that was and how rare it is for mothers to get that in the western world. Childbirth and postpartum are herculean feats and I wish that our society would acknowledge them as such. I'm glad to see that in some cultures, they are :)
In China it is rare that parents don’t help with nursing new born baby.
I am from malaysia. i think it is asian culture, the parents help to take care of their daughters during postpartum. usually we live in our parents house for about a month or more, and mom will do everything.. i just need to breastfeed my baby and eating healthy food. 😊
Its not really a culture thing as much as a ”rich” thing.
I’m really glad this is something that exists. I’m Colombian and my mom talks about a traditional 40 day postpartum “quarantine”. It’s not something that’s practiced much anymore but my mom has made sure to be really present for both my sisters in their postpartum care. For both of them she essentially moved in for a few weeks to help around the house, make meals, help with baby, and with showers and belly wraps. Both my sisters wore a postpartum recovery wrap. My mom also cooks really nutritious meals during this time, in particular she makes a broth with a whole chicken and removes all the fat. She would give this entire pot of soup for my sisters to eat every day in order to get collagen to support recovery. She has always framed it as primarily postpartum care rather than taking care of baby. I’m glad that even though I live in the US I know that this is what I can expect from my mom once I have my own babies but I wish more women had access to this kind of care and less pressure to “bounce back”
I come from an Arab/Middle-Eastern culture (Yemen) and the woman that gives birth is traditionally supposed to rest for about a 40 day period as well. Some people just go with a month. The new mother is catered to and receives so much help with household chores like cooking/cleaning and also taking care of the newborn. Hot drinks and food are recommend to help her heal. She is expected to be laying or sitting most of the time. This is typically done by family but close family friends tend to chip in and help as well.
Your cultural practices in this area remind me so much of some of ours. And I agree that it would be amazing if all women could receive this care but realistically this is typically seen in backgrounds with close family ties and certain cultural practices. I am quite thankful for this as a woman in my culture.
This is very African. In fact the 40 days is from the Islamic postpartum tradition
I followed your stories on insta and cried when Carol left and again when she left in this video. It was beautiful to see the relationship you created and knowing that both of your families werent in HK must made having a mother figure and support that more important and significant for you. Honestly I am so glad you had a wonderful experience and that you made a friend for life.
Seeing this makes me wish we had such thing in my country because I think it is something that's really good for both parents and baby as it supports, helps heal and creates growth not only for baby but also parents as they learn how to adapt to this new life in their mids and how to adjust. It sounds like something women/those who carry may need a bit more support especially as some women/those who carry may feel lost and get post partum depression.
I loved that you were so open minded about taking on the practises and had such a positive attitude about everything. Traditional Chinese medicine has been around for thousands of years and to me that’s a huge indication that they must be onto something! It was is interesting learning about the merge between traditional and modern practises and how they are used today. As a Canadian that gave birth and raised 2 boys in the late 2000s at times I felt so alone (the internet was just picking up on mom blogs etc) and I wish I could have had a nanny/postpartum care nurse in the first month. The relationship you had with Carol was awesome! So many clips of you ladies laughing and smiling. I think you made the best choice for you and your family and that’s all that matters❤
This was so beautiful to watch. My youngest child is 23 and a mother now herself. I wish we were more aware of the need to heal and bond with our babies here in the states. I’m just in awe of how precious this was!
Maybe for her next birth you can be a carol for her . In my culture grandmas and great grandmas take a very active roll in postpartum care of the mother
Wow, this was EYE OPENING...women should be given this type of love, support, and appreciation as new mothers ALWAYS and EVERYWHERE:)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS !!!! I’m a Postpartum Doula in the USA and I do Many of these same things for my clients. Here in America, the postpartum period of a woman’s life isn’t valued and most moms have never heard of what I do! This is so amazing and I cried happy tears at the end! I loved this video and I’m definitely subscribing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I was study Chinese Medicine. It was amazing see how this month really look like in the real life, not only read about this. It is pitty in West cultures women are not treating like this and don't have time to rest and heal after pregnancy and birth.
As a UK resident, it's literally give birth, go home, deal with it. My second was born at home which was amazing as the midwives had to stay with me, making me tea, running a bath, etc. But after that they left and, again, left to your own devices apart from a visit once a week if you're lucky. No wonder there is so much post natal depression here.
After one birth in UK...I was taking care of it all. Also my mother in law has been quite a bad witch through out my pregnancy. I fell hard with post partum depression.
@@sarahusman6123 I'm so sorry, I'm sure you're a good momma and you deserve time to relax and take care
This tradition makes so much sense! Of course a mom is supposed to recover and get help with her tasks! Not just payed leave, but also being thought and supported, and being healed! Calm, healthy moms make calm healthy children! It's so good for all of the family!
This made me feel even stronger in my opinion of helping other post partum moms as much as possible. I live in the US and have had Post Partum Psychosis twice with both of my post partums. I have 2 girls and I plan to be of as much help if or when they have children. It is so important that moms have exactly what you had for care. Alot of American mothers experience horrible hospital care and care at home. Or no care at all afterwards. I'm so happy you had the chance to have an amazing experience with such an awesome person. I'm going to share this with lots of my pregnant friends in hopes they might try some of it or be open to accepting help.
I feel the same way, I had an awfully hard pregnancy, a traumatic birth, and most of postpartum I confined myself and shut out the world. No one talks about the grieving process of having your baby no longer be in you. the sense of protection that was there is lessened now that baby is out in the world. it was heartbreaking to me.
America is like push out the baby same day go home and take care of the baby no one really thinks of all these very very important things nobody spoils the mother when the baby is born like in China
My PPD was severe after both pregnancies and I’m pregnant again for a final time. We had minimal help and so many other big challenges that occurred along side having newborns (moving states, deaths in family, etc). Wish we had this kind of support in America. Might have enjoyed the newborn stage
I had a similar experience and 7 years later I am still feeling the effect. I never felt so alone, overwhelmed and depressed. It was horrible. I am so glad she got to have this experience.
I agree! A lot of focus isn’t on mom and it’s not encouraged for her to care for herself like this postpartum. She’s supposed to be solely focused on this baby but you cannot pour from an empty cup. I think work, hustle, and grind culture is so upheld here that we’re almost expected to return to work ASAP if we choose to do so.
i love how authentic this is, and the uniqueness of seeing this specific side and specific details of the chinese culture. thank you so much for sharing, taylor.
Many years ago the young women in the flat next door from me was sent home from hospital with her firstborn after a couple of days. I’ll never forget. She stood in the doorway and said, “I don’t know what to do”. “Isn’t someone coming to help you”, I asked. “No…and I don’t know what to do” as she glanced back into the flat to the newborn lying in the cot. It was so sad. I’d never had children, so I couldn’t help. In any case, how heartless was our system to send a first time mother home from the hospital with no ongoing support. This is a much more caring system.