I defend myself for my choice
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2024
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![[FULL STORY] What’s the most entitled thing you’ve ever seen someone do?](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/N4DADAjt-Nc/mqdefault.jpg)
SIL seems like a very selfish person. OP had done nothing wrong especially with the pregnancy probably being classified as high risk. It is perfectly acceptable to keep things private.
Agreed. My mom was a high risk pregnant woman. But she was really happy to have a baby after trying for 20 years. Unfortunately she had a silent miscarriage 4 months into the pregnancy.
It was painful for her as she had told family members already and now had to break out the news of a miscarriage. Most of her clients knew she was pregnant too as she had to inform them she was taking a break from work. She had a rough time letting them know everytime one asked how the baby was doing.
@@Level-in5icI’ve had 10 miscarriages and I don’t tell anyone but my hubs and doctor until I’m a month into my second trimester. My last miscarriage was at 5months. Thankfully I was about to have two relatively healthy daughters.
@@maryjane4432 yeah I was worried the whole time for her as she was 40+, has blood circulation issues when pregnant, and it had been 20 years since the last pregnancy. I wasn't keen on the idea of letting anyone know until she was stable and at 4 months the doctors weren't sure if the pregnancy was going to go to full term.
But they were very excited as they had wanted a final baby for the last 20 years and next thing I knew, all the family had been told. It was very awkward and heartbreaking having to tell them all the baby was no longer with us.
Tbh I think she has coped tremendously well but she says seeing everyone who was pregnant with her have their kids makes her emotional. She still gets the occasional clients or friends who aren't aware and assumed she had a sucessful pregnancy ask about how the baby is doing. Very heartbreaking to have to update them on the news. Privacy is so much better. A lesson for the next pregnancy.
Don't come at me but let's look at another perspective. Maybe, just maybe, she was also looking forward to the OPs pregnancy. And to her, she felt so left out and she probably felt it more that OP didn't share the baby's name. I mean, what's the harm in sharing? It's not like the kid's gonna go poof if the name is shared.
In the OPs perspective, I guess she was still very much in the limbo and pretty much unbelieving herself that she got pregnant. And any mention may cause some harm to her long awaited child. Some cultures have some weird tales sometimes.
I guess, to me, a case of a big misunderstanding.
@@johnthree1647 "What's the harm in sharing"
That's the problem. Sometimes when women who don't get pregnant very easily or have multiple miscarriages, they prefer to keep pregnancies to themselves. It is not because the baby will go poof but because the baby has a HIGH probability of not making it to full term. They rather wait until the baby is safely delivered.
Imagine this scenario: You tell everyone you are 2 months pregnant. At 4 months you have a miscarriage. Now you have to tell everyone the baby is gone. It is awkward and it is hard every time someone you know asks you about the baby.
My mom's miscarriage was 1 year ago. There are still some relatives and people who don't know and ask how the baby is doing. She has to put up a strong front everytime people give her pitiful looks or empty comforting words.
SIL is not entitled to know anything about the baby. As a fellow woman, she should in fact be empathetic and understand that pregnancy is a private, not public matter.
The SIL needs to stay in her lane, before she get knocked back in it. She’s way too comfortable running her mouth.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Oh hell! yes
We're friends. 😊 totally agree.
I will provide an albi. You passed out on our couch after supper. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, from scratch hot rolls, & chocolate cake. Dinner @ 8 pm you ate 2 helpings, went to couch & slept. We went to bed @ 19 pm
I had to pee @ 2 am. You were still aeep on our couch. Gives you 4 hours my husband, I ,& ,& 2 roommates saw you.
NTA the SIL has no business getting angry. It's none of her business
I would love to introduce this sister in law to my former mother in law. my mother in law could bitch to this sister in law how her son didn't chose his sister to be our baby's godmother. btw we were told not to because she wouldn't want to drive 3 hours to attend the christening, but this somehow changed to, she wasnt invited when I was divorcing her useless son
That part!
It wasn't an aita question
You said you were sorry. That’s it just be polite and treat her as you always did. She will come around or not, but it’s up to her.
Op needs to give her a Bird 🐦 maybe then she'll get the message.
NTA. She is not entitled to anything. Your husband needs to put her in her place.
She is showing her true personality treat her accordingly
She doesn’t have any say in this. It is totally in their right to do handle this pregnancy as they please. Longing for so long for a baby and then finally having it, yeah I would protect that as well.
Most, if not all, people I know who have had children haven't revealed the name till after the baby was born, one of those was my brother and his wife! Nobody needs to know until you choose to reveal it, it's called boundaries.
I think all of that celebrating the name before you know the child so wild.
In my cycles nobody knows the name until we get a picture with a text: welcome baby [name] or something
Demanding to know the name is wild
Not only that, but sometimes the name changes once the baby is actually born… My mom had a list narrowed down to about 5 names, but once I was actually born, she went with a name she never actually considered 😂
Don’t tell she going to find a way to take the name
Unless SIL can somehow get pregnant and then have that baby first to take the name, I would say the name is safe. SIL wasn't pregnant, otherwise that would likely have been part of the story.
@@bernvlogs7391 She would probably get a dog and use their baby name for it.
Yea especially if the pregnancy doesn't go through she'd steal the name if she got pregnant
@@valzeppelin5153 I knew someone who actually did exactly that. Talk about a fight breaking out! And I started working 16 hours shifts to stay away from both parties!
Nothing. Do nothing.
SIL cant be off and complain to herself.
Be joyous in your dreams coming true!
Somebody always has a problem about something to do with a pregnancy. Smile, say it's sad she feels that way........ and you and your husband live your life........ look after the baby and each other. You don't have to deal with her issues
Easy. Not her business.
I'm so happy for OP for getting Pregnant I wish Her the best of luck
Do what you feel is right. You already made that choice so lovingly tell her it’s your decision
It’s almost like your pregnancy has nothing to do with her…
NTA, tell her a fake name. One you and your husband both agreed to say no on. Tell her that name is being seriously considered and watch what she does.
Well played.
@@daniellemitchell3118Myrtle it is.
@@chunkyd5880Gilbert
Gurtie
Tell her it my baby not yours
Your body, your baby, yours and your husband’s decisions to do what you thought was best. Don’t worry about toxic people just enjoy one another ❤
A woman pregnant at 40 is typically considered a high risk pregnancy so it was wise of them to wait. And the name is something chosen by the parents and only the parents. The families job is to assist when asked and if able, nothing more nothing less
And plus that's their own life
Your child.
Your life.
Your decision.
Respecting that or not is hers.
It’s your choice. Not anyone else’s.
Ghost her. Ignore her. Go low contact at most. Your choices are none of her business, She wants to bully or blame for not making the choices she thinks are proper.
“…no excuse for the name.”” She’s inexcusable. Appalling.
I’m so sorry about her interference, but congratulations to you both.Blessings
The sil is entitled and ridiculous. Most people don't announce their pregnancy until they have passed the stage where a miscarriage could occur. There is no law that you have to share the baby's name. I have three children, and we didn't decide on a name until the ba y was born. The sil needs to get over herself!!
I’m currently pregnant
I’m hiding my pregnancy
Idgaf if anyone gets mad at the end of the day it’s our choice our baby and our business 🤷🏻♀️ only hiding it till I’m safe ✝️ some of my family members found out because I’m barely a few weeks and I have a huge bump as it’s my 4th baby 😂😂
Aw congrats on your pregnancy!
The team that automatically assumed SIL might be pregnant and wanted to steal the baby name without the family realizing, and that's why she threw a fit over getting "left out."
Do nothing, and enjoy your family ❤
The best response here!
Sil was bent on knowing kid's name, less interested in OP's pregnancy, which was sus.
Someone wrote a comment that op and her husband should pick a random name and act like they're seriously thinking about naming their baby that way, then observe the situation.
That's a brilliant idea.
Nothing, op did no wrong. Idk wtf is wrong with her sil - it's not her baby. Does she want to take the name or something? Why is it so important to her?
Is there more to this story?
SIL probably wanted to "suggest" some other name. And by suggest I mean expects her brother and OP to choose one of the names she suggests, otherwise she'll be pissed.
There is something like this on “I’m I the jerk”
Tell her to shut up and go away! It took 14 years for our 1st son to finally join us, 2 days after my 32nd birthday. Best gift ever. Congratulations to you & your Mr.!
Family: you were very lucky to have a healthy baby. Not sharing was normal before Social Media. You and your husband were those that needed to know.
I'd had several miscarriages so it was not a story until we had our son. Your pregnancy is a private thing.
SIL feels betrayed that you didn't trust her when you were venerable
Fun Fact: The stress from consciously *trying* to have a baby can impact the male and female reproductive systems, making it (as u probably guessed) harder to actually conceive. Which is why instances like OPs are so common.
Ignore her and enjoy yourself! I am a single mother of a 3 year old. You DO need family but with boundaries if she can't respect your boundaries the don't worry about it.
Lmfao my wife doesn’t even tell me the name of our kids until they’re born. I just give my suggestion and I’ve been lucky to have named 2 of 4
Ignore her. She doesn’t have the right to know the name until you are ready to share.
Give her a list of names but not the one you chose. If she wanted to steal it, when your baby is born, egg will be on her face when she realizes she was hoidwinked
"fuck off, this is MY child" all that was needed to be said
It always seems to work that way or at least it seems to happen often, but as soon as a couple either adopts or comes to terms that they will be childless and BAM! They get pregnant. It must have something to do with stress and the anxiety of trying to get pregnant, but as soon as that stress is lifted, they conceive. It happened to 2 of my friends.
Regardless, what your SIL says or feels, its no one's business but the couples. Ignore your SIL and let her know it's already done, you're sorry she felt that way but you don't wish to discuss it ever again. Period.
Tell her, I hear you... however my husband and I made a decision and are standing by it.
Tell her to bite it. It's your life. There will always be someone trying to get you to live your life their way. Do what's right for you.😊
Tell her sh*t happens you’ll survive and move on
"What should [you] do here?" Tell her to pee off, inform her she's not the main character, your baby is.
The greatest person is a good friend
She needs to hurry up and wait. 😂😂😂
NTA. It was not her business unless y'all CHOSE to share it with her. The world does not revolve around her.
Goes to show, you could give every person in the world 1 million dollars, and someone would be mad.
Remind her *WHO* the mother is in this scenario and let her know what her place will or won't be if she keeps up with her behavior.
I’ve had a miscarriage. It’s so much harder when you have to break the sad news to acquaintances because a family member told them the happy news.
A family member posted my pregnancy when I was only two months along, I miscarried days later, but had to explain for months.
Ppl get weird about baby names I think it’s best to keep it a secret otherwise ppl try to put in opinions like they have a say in the naming or steal the name sounds weird but iv seen it happen soo many times !
It’s your baby. Your call. Someone will always find a way to make happy news about them.
SIL is being a butthead. A healthy reaction is just being happy for them! Especially all they went through
My parents had 13 miscarriages. They adopted me then my brother. My aunt said my parents never said a word until after each miscarriages. The last time, I was 14 and called my grandparents. Of course they came. My mom later said she was so glad her mom was there for her. Bottom line is, your pregnancy, your choice. SIL needs to grow up and be grateful for a healthy nephew.
How do you know it's a nephew? I didn't hear that part.
If you don't push back just as hard, prepare to be a doormat.
First of all your child name and your pregnancy is none of her F**king business, boundaries, how you and your spouse choose to do things that is best for your household should be respected. Facts. 💯
Your right something could happen so it’s a good idea to keep it to yourselves if something happens
Start asking SIL personal questions and see how she likes it.
This is your business not any one else's.
Ignore the ignorant people.
Your decision don't worry about it Love is Love and if they love you they'll be there for you😊
This was a matter between you, your husband and your doctor. You were right to keep it a secret and your sister-in-law needs to handle her own business and consider herself lucky that you included her at all. It’s always amazed me how many people think they have a right to get into your business
It wouldn't surprise me if the SIL decided to try to claim them as unfit parents and try to get custody. I'm sure she would fail, but that's how nutty and selfish she seems to be.
Tell her to FO !
You're fine it's a difficult thing your going through
OP should tell the sister in law that she is most welcome to handle the announcements regarding a new member of her family how she chooses but she has no say in how other people choose to do the same. As for being annoyed about not knowing the name sooner? Whose child does she actually think this is and for millennia people couldn’t announce a name because the they didn’t know what they were having. Then of course there’s also the fact that people often decide upon a name but then on seeing the baby, feel it doesn’t suit them. Telling people before hand can make it more difficult to change your mind.
Ultimately though, not your child, not your pregnancy, not your decision.
That food looks scrumptious! 🤩
It's your husband, your child and your family. Congratulations ❤❤❤
SIL sounds like a control freak.
In my country, the SIL would be termed a witch and be avoided at all cost
Maybe the SIL wanted to attempt to steal the baby name, but wasn’t given the opportunity too.
Block her. Shes trying to run your life. Which is absolutely not acceptable.
Tell her, it's not her business!
Infertility is very painful situation and deeply personal. It’s like telling another person how to process grief. To suddenly find yourself pregnant after over a decade, and at an age that is also still considered high risk- on top of already struggling so long- it is absolutely none of SIL’s business. And the fact that it’s all about anger and her not knowing says she’s a very selfish and self centered person. “But why did’t you tell ME?” Please. She needs to shut her mouth and get over herself.
Nothing, its not theirs to worry about.
You are too kind, tell her to mind her business
It’s your child your decision, it’s a shame they can’t be more supportive
Give her a restraining order
If I knew the OP I'd say to her: "It's totally up to you when you reveal what."
Tell SIL to tend to her own business. It's understandable why you kept it a secret for so long
SIL has absolutely nothing going on in her life if this is what she chooses to be angry about.
Congratulations on your healthy baby!
And you don't need to do anything about your SIL, she's being unreasonable. Unless she begins to spill venom into your other family members, just let her be, no need to waste time with people like that.
Taking care of your baby is the top priority.
SIL is 1000% trying to steal the baby's name or smthn
Tell her, " You are free to think that, I will know the truth".
It’s our choice! That’s what you say. And that’s it. But families love baby time before and after they are born. I understand your feelings about your situation. I hope for many happy days for your family.
Tell her you know what we decided and we stand by our decision. The End.
Just ignore her.. And don't let her affect you in any way. This is your and your husband decision and time..
Not the sister arguing about not knowing the name of a child that isnt even born yet 💀
You did the best things for your family. First pregnancy at 40 has to be scary My dad was born when his mom was 42, but she had 5successful pregnancies before that (also many failed, before and after, but that’s a different story.) He didn’t have a name until the day he was born- prominent Catholic saint’s day, so he was named after the saint. SIL needs to take care of her own family (like, the person/people she lives with). Congratulations on your surprise baby!
Tell SIL to mind her business. This is YOUR Joy.
SHE👏🏾CAN'T👏🏻HAVE👏🏽IT👏🏼‼️
There are very few people that need to in the first 3-4 months. Mom, Dad and maybe the moms mom or a best friend for comfort. Nobody else.
And the name will be known after the little one is born. No question about it
Tell SIL to go pound sand as it's none of her damn business 😅
Don't associate yourself with idiots!
Ignore her she isn't entitled to know ANYTHING about YOUR pregnancy until YOU want to disclose that information
Tell her she can do whatever she wants with her own pregnancy.
OP or her husband needs to put SIL in her place, OP's reason for keeping it a secret is more than understandable. If one goes so many years trying for a baby and eventually accepts the fact they wont ever have one to suddenly having one by surprise I would honestly be the same in keeping it a secret until I reach my final trimester towards the end. Anything can happen throughout a pregnancy no matter how healthy it may appear at the beginning. OP is preventing positive hopes being crushed if it doesn't turn out to be good and less stress to deal with while grieving a loss of an unborn child if it happens to be the worst case scenario.
Easy, tell her nothing going forward, don’t talk to her, don’t acknowledge her at family functions, do nothing.
You get back at her and never let her see even a picture of your child
That's none of SIL's effing business. She needs to tend to her own.
Many couples who have had a difficult time with pregnancy only tell others after 3months. Naming the child is completely the couple's business unless they want others to be involved.
Tell her to mind her own business or you'll tell everyone BUT her!
Don't tell. Tell your husband not to tell anyone, no matter what, guilt trip, pressure, emotional blackmailing…
Sister in-law is crazy. Simple.
The food looks delicious.
Also it’s your life, not your SILs, she doesn’t control you
What you do about your pregnancy is completely up to you. I would even understand if you don't tell people at all before your kid is born. Of course they have a right to be upset but in the end it is your decision to make.
And your SIL can pound sand. You decide what info you are giving out and what info is staying with you
I understand that the SIL was unhappy because she wanted to be part of their happiness (even I will be) but the fact that she is causing stress to the pregnant lady because of her own tantrums (even though she is a grown women) is unacceptable
Just like how the sil expressed that she was sad she should have left that matter, but no she was dragging out, now this is a good thing OP didn't tell the sil (seeing how immature she is that sil would have caused even more stress for op)
Evil-Jealousy 🚩 Sister-in-Law