Being a married woman, i must say, another man will only be closer to you if you allow him to be and want him to be. It's better to accept what has happened and not try to find excuses for why it happened other than she allowed another man's company. Women from South asian countries are very wise from a young age and same with the girls from countries like morroco, turkey etc. I just feel she very well knew what she was doing and definitely was not getting groomed or brainwashed. It was definitely her choice.
I was just about to write this. Plus you can't blame a third party for the breakup of your marriage when it's quite clear when his ex was allowing these guys to get closer to her. A sad situation all around, as the brother, though a little naive, does seem like a lovely guy.
I am familiar with Morocco and its culture. In some instances, women who frequent Sheesha lounges are perceived as escorts, often seeking financial support until they can secure a foreign husband. It seems this individual may not have been aware of this context. May Allah heal his heart and guide him towards making a wiser choice, such as finding a practicing sister who lives according to Islamic principles. May Allah guide us all and forgive us for our shortcomings. Ameen.
This brother sent his wife to work as he wanted to live a certain lifestyle, i earn minimum wage and i dont own a house yet my wife is a housewife and full time mum and Alhamdulillah we manage easily, even get to go on holiday once a year. Blessings in what we earn is from Allah, He makes a little go aling way.
I'm glad you said that. I'm not a top earner, but that didn't stop me from owning our home whilst my wife stayed at home to raise the children. Ps my 2 household income colleagues don't actually their houses. Lifestyle choices and excuses if you ask
@AB-hu2uw I think you'll find that making £40/hour for your organisation while earnings £15/hour in return is technically riba. As is buying your phone for 20 times more than the cost of manufacturing it. It's an unequal exchange - exploitative. It's literally riba, but preach on Sheikh.
This guy went through a lot and is brave enough to face the internet twice, I'm sure a lot of us wouldnt have the balls to share such a personal story to the internet so mad respect to the brother. May God make it easy for him in this journey!
Yeh that woudnt happen to a lot of man I new this shit when I was 15 you do your chill and you get married to someone for marriage reasons that’s why you go back home get hitched to a good girl that will look after you and your parents this guy married a side thing lala
This woman knew exactly what she was doing. Respectfully she just wasn’t into you brother…the more you run after women, the more they run away, but draw away from them, they come running after you. You ignored major red flags 🚩was too soft and lacked leadership skills. This bum guy saw an opportunity and took it, ultimately the opportunity was given by her. She wasn’t groomed, she just didn’t have respect for you brother…she was an opportunist and took advantage of you. Take some time out and heal from your trauma. You deserve way better…..and I pray only better comes your way brother
I agree! She knew what she was doing. People from abroad have so much knowledge on this type of deceit. Have patience the right person will come to you.
You deserve better get this rottin woman out of your head man she did not want a marriage but a financial and European Visa there are many scamers and men abuser in this world.£25000 a massive con you could buy a bloody flat for that.
Big props to the brother for coming forward coz lets be honest here, no one gives a damn what men go through nowadays whether if its in homelessness, mental health, suicide, emotional abuse in a marriage. Us men have no support system. I hope he has learned from this experience and finds a woman who is a wifey material and a good mother to his kids. When a marriage ends, it is not always the guys fault, there are so many women out there doing toxic emotional abuse to their husbands, they wont take any accountability of it and no one is talking about that. They always bring their problems from their past and bring it into their brand new marriage and now their husband is now the receiving end of it. We need more men coming forward so that it can get recognition and awareness
@@naviifra2374 as much as a i agree with you, there is no funding for men's problems coz there is no awareness, no one talks about it on the news, talk shows, news articles etc. You may talk about it for a few days and it all forgotten afterwards
I’m Moroccan raised in the U.K. I’ll be honest. I’ll say it simple lamen terms because I have also experienced the same thing as him back in the late 90s accept I’m female. We as European raised ethnics to Moroccans or any other county are generally looked at as victims. I’ve heard them say it 1000 times. They are hustling and sadly he got hustled. This is not the first and last time a woman/man from a 3rd world country will find away to leave. Us born and raised here are faaaarr more niya and sincere in our intentions in comparison to them. In my case I was under a spell however even now 2024 they all say they want out of morocco to find a better life through any means of deception. This guy seems like a very nice individual, maybe lacks the skill sets to be assertive, but I pray that his nativity doesn’t turn him bitter towards people and life. Not everyone is a hyena. I would advice him to get assertive lessons and to be more mindful of people’s agendas towards him in the future inshallah. One last point: the agenda is that most Moroccan women in morocco are not interested in Asian men, they know Asian men are financially stable, and they know this because some of them are their flashing their cash, sleeping with prostitutes. I’m not implying she was. Most of the time they know they don’t have a huge amount of respect for women because of what they see, and so they hustle them to get to Europe to get a Visa, only to bring her 3ashiq (lover) over. Hence the “best friend” I would say it’s very few and far between that their are genuine over seas marriages now adays. The financial crisis has made things much worse. There seems to be a trend in the last decade of men fetishising Moroccan women. I know because I am one. It’s a bizarre trend that every Asian, black, European man wants a Moroccan wife. I’m my opinion morocco is very westernised in mentality and it’s fair to say because even though in Africa, it is the furthest Muslim country to the west hence the name mughrib. I don’t think that all cultures are compatible and imo Asian culture mixed with Moroccan culture doesn’t mix no matter how much there are similarities in them regarding Islam. Most are influenced by culture and imo I think theres more differences than similarities for it to work. FYI, she’s deffo not as naive as he likes to think of her. The same way she aloud him to approach her while sat in a Shisha place knowing she’ll get approached by men in those environments clearly tells me it’s something she is used to and is ok with. so why would she all of a sudden be naive towards her manager approaching her for a 1 to 1 date. He gives her way too many excuses than she deserves. Same way she seduced her husband into marriage, is the same way she’ll seduce a Manager for a pay rise or better position. These people are not naive trust me. She just played the game and used his insecurities against him to manipulate him into allowing her to get away with murder.
GOAT comment. Especially the bit about niyya. It all comes down to education and sadly the average level of education in Morocco isn't that high, even when it comes down to a person with a degree. Lying, deception, cheating, HUSTLING are the names of the game It also doesn't help that it's a very unequal society and they've got Europe literally on their doorstep hypnotising them with it's golden streets. This causes them to abandon the little morals or 'imane' that they have at the first sight of a golden ticket
It’s embedded in them. Colonisation, lack of education, poverty, large gap between the rich and poor, the list goes on. The system in morocco makes the hustlers and imo Moroccans are extremely materialistic people. Sadly a lot will sell out for any opportunity to get out, rather than think about their moral stance regarding their actions. I know my people very well. 😵💫
I agree with you. I find those muslims raised in the UK have stronger faith and are lest enamoured by Western culture and practices. Also, I know a lot of friends and associates who have been "scammed" or "taken for a ride" by morrocan (mainly arab morrocans as opposed to berbers for some reason) men and women- usually people who have been raised there (regardless of whether they moved to the west in their late teens or after)...
@@CTG2500 I agree! However the birth of social media has greatly influenced young women’s mind set. It seems that Every woman wants to live like a kardashian off the back of a naive man who’s financially stable. Nothing wrong with that if it’s genuine, however it isn’t always the case. Everyone seems to have jumped on all the bandwagons and mostly have chosen the feminist route. If you want marriage, you can’t be a full blown feminist imo. Don’t get me wrong, there’s alot of feminist aspects in Islam that allows women’s rights etc but alot don’t even know their Islamic rights and have chosen the extreme toxic westernised feminism that only causes harm. Getting married and expecting your husband to be OK with having male friends or socialising with men in the work environment is an absolute No and most know this. She wouldn’t of been able to get away with that behaviour with a Moroccan husband that’s for sure and she wouldn’t have even tried it. SMH 🤦🏻♀️
@@sabrinakalam9876 yes because we have nothing to prove. When you watch the kufar every weekend going down the pub, club etc doing the same routine, and pretty much on the path of destruction. Leading to mental health, long term alcohol consumption leading to high death rates and drug abuse. Not that they know different but that’s a different story. You realise you have nothing to prove, no reason to deceive anyone, and if you do anything it’s for the sake of Allah. You either choose the dunya or the akhira, you can have both but with a high price to pay because it means who have to work harder for the akhira if you went down the wrong path at some point. From what I’ve seen from the dunya and living a life that isn’t essentially ours as Muslims living in the west, I realised I’m missing out on absolutely nothing. U.K. life style wasn’t built for the Muslims anyway.
This all resulted from a lack of tawheed and gheerah, they literally met in a shisha lounge it was destined to fail. This is a lesson to all of us to prioritise deen in all aspects of our life. Allah has perfected every aspect of the deen for example the marriage process in the presence of a wali etc. Follow the shar1ah in every aspect of ur life and this will prevent nightmares such as this. May Allah guide us all ameen
It’s not about sheesha lounge, nowadays girls & guys do sheesha and it’s a norm. Unlike drinking/smoking drugs then it’s a red flag. In this case It’s about the age and culture differences. Also probably the love was not mutual . Probably Her intentions was to get to UK which a lot of people from back want to.
Jews used to marry women for their wealth. European used to marry women for their beauty. Arabs used to marry women for their lineage. Prophet Mohamad said that a Muslim marry women for their pious application of faith. Sir, you guys don't need an awareness, you need to go back to your deen . A true muslim won't consider such women as a catch. As God said in the quran ( don't blame me rather blame yourself) (فلا تلوموني ولوموا انفسكم) @@yeboi4266
This brother has been so vulnerable. So he found her at the rooftop sheesha bar and left with her is that not a red flag. I think she expected him to be a punter but he wanted a marriage. This is a very sad story. He seems like a genuine guy who wanted a happy marriage. Heart breaking to hear it took a hit on his mental health. But good job he had family and friends to help him get back on his feet.
I know and know of many brothers who married good Moroccan Muslimahs. Prioritise your deen. Ofc if you meet your spouse in a Shisha lounge. The chances are it ain’t gonna last
@@Zazezoo Shisha does not contain alcohol so what is your problem ? That is a acceptable place . Where would you like him to meet his future wife that is acceptable to your learnings ? Enlighten me ?
I forgot the part where in our beautiful religion it says that as a Muslim your only limited to just marrying your own castle/ethnicity. That's the thing with most parents/ppl yeah just marry our own and things be okay... It's not entirely true.
@@tajwalikhan9995 I have a feeling Bengali women are agreeable and if he looked for a Bengali religious family he might have had a very good chance statistically to have a wonderful marriage
There aren't many good bengali woman anymore in thr UK. Infact they do not deserve a guy like him because they would never even look twice at someone like him since their standards are over the roof in what they want in a husband
@@eastafricanqueen9866Yes he is from a Bengali background but that does not mean it ends there, you can have an agreeable Pakistani, Afghan, Iraqi, kurd etc wife. I'm not a fan of limited mindsets that say "ohhh all the best women are from this country or Oh yeah the Bengalis are more agreeable" like you do know there are other countries and ethnicities out there.
Well done for coming on raising awareness. Why is our ummah the most judgmental, making horrible comments towards this guy? We have all made mistakes in our life. How many have the guts to admit it to help others? Take this story as a lesson, not an opportunity to put this man down.
It’s alright - The comments section shows that our community doesn’t allow us to be vulnerable and discuss the impacts on mental health and hardship! We all have opinions, and I completely get it and respect it! I’m at the stage where I’m thick skinned and numb to the comment section and have no emotions towards it except for the fact that religion should have played a pivotal role in our marriage early on, which I completely agree. Lesson learnt. This show is about raising awareness on different walks of life! The world has changed over the last two decades! Women are more independent, social media is worshipped more than religion, arranged marriage via the mosque is a rarity, yet mental health amongst our community is not accepted. Off course, if we practiced our deen, maybe the current divorce rate wouldn’t be as high this day and age. Right now our communityhase to adapt and evolve in understanding the new generation- along with our approach and invitation to Islam, otherwise we fear more and more young individuals will derail. Belittling someone is not the way anymore! From your guest speaker - Shamsul
May Allah swt bless you. Thank you for taking the time to appear on the show and also having the courage to speak about your issues with such candor. Indeed we can all become better Muslims and stay on the right path, but there are many things out of our control, we only need to look at the stories of our Prophets (pbut) to understand that even the most pious of Allah’s creatures are tested through various trials and tribulations that they had no control over. They were tested through their spouses, disobedient children, and various other means. We live in a free society where people make their own choices, so it’s important you tackled this issue head on. I’m sorry for some of the silly comments on here that are out of touch with reality, using this as an opportunity to take the moral high ground and to hurl shit towards you. Please don’t let those nasty comments get to you. We do have a highly judgmental community, particularly the south Asian demographic. I also find our community to be the biggest hypocrites, which you are clearly not because you have appeared on the show not pretending to be perfect. It appears the brother who created this channel has a difficult mission ahead, I hope all of your work can help shape the minds of such backward people. I salute you for having the courage and courtesy to share your story. Allah swt is the best of planners, keep faith and strive towards continued closeness towards your Lord. Best of luck, your fellow brother in faith.
@@LetsTravellChannel yes Tippy is right two things she said about her residence one she was talking to her friend in Morocco about how to stay in uk whilst they were splitting up and two when she came back to get her things she said where’s my residency card , not I’m sorry , I wish you all the best she’s very immature just more interested in her stay than the hurt she has caused .
Lesson 1 from Divorce: never beg for love, attention and respect ever again.. If somebody is really into you and fears Allah, those things will be there naturally.. Most problems in marriages are due to lack of Islam knowledge and practicing.. “cheating, going out, drinking, opposite gender friends, etc… “wouldn’t exist within a practicing muslim couple..May Allah subhanna wa ta’aala guide his ex-wife and grant this man a pious wife which he deserves and who gives him unconditional love. We can learn from this case. Thanks for sharing.
Brother I actually think your a good and decent guy but you really need to wake up. Even if her manager was trying it on her, she should as an adult and a married woman realise that she shouldn’t be sneaking behind your back and etc. I got a gut feeling she knew what she was doing and wanted to do what she done. I’m sorry to say but she was from the streets and you got lucky that this marriage didn’t last too long. The only one that destroyed the marriage was your EX WIFE, not her friend or the manager as the decision was all in her hands. Hope you all the best in your future relationship Insha’Allah
The reality is most of these brothers go to morocco to get it on … and then they expect to find a practicing respectable wife in that same environment, let’s be real you’re delusional if you’re going to places like Marrakesh and Agadir hoping to bump into wifey material!!! And then you start off that relationship in sheesha bars with the woman 😂…. What exactly are you expecting … it takes two to tango …. And now this brother is playing the victim card … if I had a penny for the amount of times I hear brother getting dazzled on holidays by women in tourist cities getting divorced …. come on guys … grow up!
He is a victim he fell in love during a hard time in his life . There are many successful marriages he chose the wrong girl ! What is wrong with a Shisha bar , people meet good and bad people in all kinds of places . Not everyone is street Savy some people see the world through innocent angelic eyes and the reality is there is a lot of takers out there . The devil always attacks you when you are most vulnerable that’s how life works ! Stop Victim blaming
@@techlabukn.h.4501these brothers are soft yara go on holiday enjoy your self go back home where ever your back home is and get hitched but na they want a posh wife you keep a good wife and whatever you need on the side that’s it a job and good education don’t teach you this shit
@@chonrahman8334you will never find a traditional praticing wife in a shisha lounge or bar 😂😂what a joke if you to to these cities in Marokko they choose you to get a green card they dont care about norms and values
Seriously the more I hear from this man ....just angers me! How he stands up straight without a back bone is a miracle! She took him for a ride and he still blames everyone eles but her.
She was gaslighting you the whole time. Her behaviour is unacceptable in Morocco as well . No Moroccan husband would accept such behaviour (meeting with manager for cinema dates ) . That’s crazy. She acted innocent, while knowing very well she is sabotaging her marriage .
Definitely takes courage to speak up on such a public platform about taboo topics such as divorce. Well done to the brother for talking about this, and well done to the host for being sensitive to the discussion whilst simultaneously pressing on hard topics/questions.
This is a beautiful man, i can tell he has the best heart. Sounds like the ex-wife just wasn’t ready for the seriousness of marriage. He will find a wife who is his equal and the marriage will be successful.
This is championship level dayooth ,a man call his wife every time she wakes up 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and he is watching his wife engage in convo with another man every day
Exactly, he new everything, from the start , I followed her on insta, Very bad girl , mini skirts were the norm , this is in london Bikinis on holiday with him Disgusting people
It’s the truth although the presenter to make it an issue. If we are disrespecting the brother personally fair enough but we have to be honest, he didn’t have any self respect to allow that to happen although he comes across a genuine guy. Even the presenter turned around and said he’s just turned around and had a go at the audience via camera, even he was shocked throughout this episode.
Bro don't laugh or kick a brother when he is down. Ofcourse he should have never tolerated or allowed that. He was miskeen. But bro there is no benefit in mocking and insulting. If that is the case may ALLAH return it to you and make you a dayooth. Ameen.
He should have just married a Bengali woman from England. This is what you get trying to get a younger bride from overseas and a different culture, they are only after one thing! Of course you are going to get played for a fool!
He was committing zina on the get go, in a relationship for 6 years what the heck, haram all the way, then found an morrocon who was not practicing her religion
Brother needs to take the red pill. He wouldn't of married her in the first place. Too much simping behaviour. Unfortunately this is what the west has done to the brothers!
In a nutshell. If you are not a slave to Allah, then you become a slave to your desires. You mentioned you never prayed and only did towards the end of your marriage. So your worship was directed towards your ex-wife. Sometimes Allah will put you through difficult tests in order to bring you back. You didn't take heed when your nephew, or your parents died (may Allah give them jannah, aameen), so Allah tested you and broke you through a bad marriage. Say Alhumdulilah. It's a blessing.
I cant summarise everything in an hour show. But offcourse I started praying after my parents and nephews death. Everyday. But I fell off several months later. Became inconsistent. I prayed Istikhara during marriage to gather guidance. 30 days later I saw the signs. Maybe that's a story for another show.
My brother Shamsul listen to my words very carefully, I swear by Allah if your Islam is intact and no one can strip that from you - you are the richest man in the world. If you lost Allah, you lost everything, but if you gained Allah and lost everything, in reality you gained everything. Women come go, children come go, parents come and go, but every soul will meet Allah alone and be left alone in the grave, ready to answer. When you look for a wife, Islam says look at her religion 1st, but unfortunately we have placed beauty above it, that's where people make the mistake. A God fearing woman is better than a 1000 super models, because with her you can be at peace. Brother don't ever worry about her or think about her again, focus on Allah, open Qur'an, go Umrah, make intention for Hajj, dedicate yourself to Allah and see the doors opened up for you. Please make intention to go Makkah and Medina soon, it will do wonders for you and make you realise this life is only but a day. The real life begins on The Day of Standing. All the best brother, stay strong - be patient, get close to your maker, ask him to guide you and wait for the peace to enter the heart.
@@shamsul1602our strength in our faith and salah is always up and down. You seem like a really genuine brother akhi, this test was obviously to bring you closer to Allah. May Allah reward you and preserve you
I don't understand this leadership business lol. I've been married for over 12 years alhamdulilah, and it's not down to my husband's leadership lol. More mine lol
This brother seems soft hearted whoch is good but i think he needs to learn when to be firm and have boundaries. Otherwise woman will despise you and not give respect
It’s not easy to leave a spouse because your heart yearns for them and what could be - even if they’re being unfaithful. Extremely painful to be lied to even when you have proof. I’ve learnt that you cannot ever find tranquility through people, we have to put Allah azzawajjal at our hearts centre and then relations slot in. Allah heal your heart and bless you with a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.
This guy went through some hard times and in the moment he made some bad decisions as he wasn't thinking clearly. Anyone who can relate will understand exactly what he went through. Has nothing to do with overseas bride. Plenty of these stories with uk marriages. I have been through it and am now in a very happy marriage. Just have to be proactive. Now you will now be able to recognise a good woman instantly. Always a blessing from every lesson.
This brother needs counselling as soon as possible, he suffering with serious trauma and still looks troubled. He's outlook through out his marriage was flawed right from the start, he needs to wake up and realise that this westernised mindset is what created all his problems. he is trying to be something he is not , id advise you to appreciate your own cultural values and change your mindset and get closer to the islamic way of life. Also there are plenty of traditional simple decent women out there who are honest respectable and beautiful so dont be troubled with your loss, you was lucky things could've been worse , she was definitely dishonest and very immature. Be strong, stay positive and stay away from women like that ! Insha Allah things will get better just dont make the same mistakes.
You’re absolutely right . Firstly, he had one broken relationship then his mother passed away and now this. She knew what she was doing . She didn’t want him she just wanted to come to U.K.
“ALLAH swt gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.” - Thank you Shamsul for being so vulnerable and open with us, it must have been so difficult. It is so rare nowadays for people to fight for their marriage and Allah swt will reward you for giving it your best.
Bless him, he thought she didn't understand why her manager wanted to take her to the cinemas. This man is a naive soul but also seems like a good guy, but he needs to chnage his mindset.
I think the brother is not being honest with himself, sometimes situations happen and because we are not ready to face the truth we make excuses. A few points to think about 1) why would she argue with her husband if he didnt want her to go to the cinema with a male work colleague unless there was some emotional involvement, and the fact that you guys argued over it shows there was more going on behind the scenes. 2) How do you know that she didn't ask her manager to change her shifts so they were working together 3) She was not groomed because she knew what she was doing 4) The manager is getting all the blame but the brother keeps making excuses for his ex but the fact that the manager didn't back off was because she must of encouraged the situation. 5) If a woman really loves her husband she would never glance in the direction of another man no matter how rich or good looking he might be. 6) She had two different men on the scene, everybody keeps getting blamed for talking to a married woman but there should be some responsibility placed on the woman too. Sometimes we place people in a position which should only be reserved for Allah swt, and SubhanAllah look at the situation in a different light Allah put you through this situation in order to turn you back to Him. My advice to the brother would be please place Allah swt as a priority always and be conscious of Him in every action you do.
@@MikeSpence-wk6iv i think your refering to the western woman, there are many women out there that will stand by their men no matter what. Those women are the back bones in the family unit. They take care of their homes, raise their children and take care of their husbands.
What's classy about a shisha bar?? You can't meet your potential wife in haram clubs and bars then expect them to change their haram party lifestyle for you! Get a life. Stop trying to change people. Sorry to sound harsh but the red flags were crystal clear from day one....May Allah guide us all in making the right decision for marriage. Ameen.
This podcast made Me more angry with the brother that got cheated on He said 'she's got boundaries.' She wouldn't cheat!she was blatantly going out on dates with her manager. Sorry to say but this brother is a complete 'mug'
May Allah grant you a wonderful spouse brother. I'm so glad that you have shared your story. It is very refreshing to hear a male perspective. ( I am female btw)
I have watched both parts 1 & 2, and would like to thank the host for putting this together and the guest for sharing his experiences with us to create awareness and to take key lessons from all of this. I hope you are in a much better place now insha'Allah and I pray Allah grants your parents and nephew Jannatul Firdous. The key thing which struck me from all of this is that 'you found peace in prayer'. Allah says that he tests those that he loves, and if you are now praying and worshipping Allah then alhamdulillah take this as experience and Allah deals with everyone's actions and affairs accordingly. From everything you shared with us it is clear that the woman is a narcissistic person, playing the victim card, lying and manipulating behaviour. These characteristics are very common with compulsive liars who choose not to understand the difference between a truth and a lie when it comes to them. You must remember that this character did not come about over the period of 1-2 months, these behaviours were taught within a certain environment very early on and was always part of her character. She can change ONLY if she starts to take accountability, but a narcissistic person will never take accountability. Their behaviour can also come across as someone possessed and if you continue trying then you will decline and fall into a rut. She was not being manipulated at work, in fact she was the key manipulator. The biggest red flag bro was meeting a woman at a shisha bar, these environments have literally become like night clubs imitating the non believers and we all know what kind of people go to these places. To summarise, find a woman with deen, because if she worships Allah then you have nothing to worry about and you will save yourself from lots of heartache. To the guest I commend you for the courage and for sharing with us, imagine the blessings you will get for saving people from similar situations. I wish you all the very best for the future and may Allah give you someone way better insha'Allah.
Marrying for a persons beauty is allowed but we can see the effects of that, the Iman of a person is indicative of what kind of future you might have, everything else is a massive gamble Please remember you are marrying the future mother or father for your children
This is hurting 😢......I'm from Kenya but I'm afraid of what sisters and even brothers are to doing each other may Allah guide single sisters and brothers to right people Amin
Jews used to marry women for their wealth. European used to marry women for their beauty. Arabs used to marry women for their lineage. Prophet Mohamad said that a Muslim marry women for their pious application of faith. Sir, you guys don't need an awareness, you need to go back to your deen . A true muslim won't consider such women as a catch. As God said in the quran ( don't blame me rather blame yourself) (فلا تلوموني ولوموا انفسكم)
I don’t blame him at all he was going through a lot of traumatic circumstances and his decision making was not as clear as it should have been , to go through what he went through and sit and do this is brave .
This is sincere advice to Shamsul bhai. You went through a lot of test and challenges. You clearly said you did not pray before but praying now Alhamdulillah. You have to understand that the reason Allah tests us so we return to him and seek his help and forgiveness. If the test from Allah helps you to become a spiritual person then Alhamdulillah your safe but if you are tested and do not become spiritual then it’s a form of punishment. Allah will continue to test us as he loves us and for us to wake up this life is short. Please understand tawwaqul
Why are some people blaming him ????She was dishonest her behaviour was bad . He did all the right things that a husband should do . Don’t Victim blame and say Gods punishment. God gives free will his judgment was poor at the time and clouded due to very sad circumstances. We are Human ! God is blessing him with love removing the woman from his life and sharing and helping brothers and sisters who have been victims .
Agree with the comments. As muslim females, we learn at a very very young age how to conduct ourselves around men and how to set boundaries and protect our honour. Consorting with men on a personal level, regardless of whether they are your superior at work, is a matter of choice and character. Additionally, I don't think cultural differences are so great especially when you share faith. I know many people in mixed marriages (north africans and south asians mainly) who are very happy and on the same page re a lot of things especially family values etc.
Brother, sorry to say your ex wife knew what she was doing. Your ex wife pushed you to the limits to see how far you would accept her haram behaviour. I believe this was her personality since day 1. It all got revealed in the UK. Picking her up from the Shisha place was a red flag 🚩. Allah knows best. Alhamdulilah you are safe and left this marriage. You done the right thing 💯 Sorry to say your ex wife allowed the flirting and accepted another man's attention. Its not your fault . Move on in peace ✌
Sorry but Seeing the way the brother reacted to you mentioning black magic and how his face changed. Deffo think the brother should get him self checked out. Also these stories are very common of south Asian men going Morocco and getting sihr done on them. May Allah protect us ameen.
Wow ! Sounds like rebound marriage to someone who married without thinking about it much and fell for the lavish lifestyle then realised life in london is not what she thought and the marriage was not what she really wanted. And there were other men ! I do think trauma of losing both parents and nephew within months of each other, just after a break up of a six year relationship led him to make wrong decisions as he was vulnerable. A lesson not to rush into marriage with an unknown.
Im not very good at explaining how i say thing. As a white British woman i really like knowing about different cultures..This is the only presenter who i understand when he interviews men and women who have bad relationships in different cultures..All cultures around the world most of us just want is to be happy,loved and care for ( The saying is you never know what going on behind closed doors) ..I think it is so good you have these brave men and ladies able to talk about their experiences with home life family relationship their struggle with mental health. probably not making sense Hope all your guest get the help and support they deserve...
It was a taboo talking about family life and telling people about one’s issues in marriage but thank God things have changed and one can get help wether mental or emotional support from organisations
The reasons it all went wrong: 1) Married a non-practicing girl, sounds like she didn't really pray, no hijab 2) Met her at a shisha bar 3) She had male friends 4) She didn't have clear boundaries with the opposite gender 5) She didn't respect her husband - he shouldn't even need to ask her to stop talking to other men 6) He made her work in a mixed environment, encouraged her to go out and work and mix with her colleagues Solutions for everyone watching 1) Marry a girl of deen, make sure she covers, prays 5x on time, ask for references to make sure she has not had previous relationships or male friends 2) Marry a girl that you have to go through the wali to meet her 3) Don't put your wife in a position where she has to work, financial responsibility is on the man 4) Find righteous females for her to be in the company of to keep her busy 5) Absolutely zero tolerance for male friends 6) Talk to the girl before about things like halloween, her understanding of limits with opposite gender 7) Finally, try to make the marriage work, but have zero tolerance for disrespect. 3 strikes and you're out.
I can see you're a good guy bro, ignore the comments from these people who think they know it all and make judgements. May Allah guide you and give you happiness and peace that you deserve ❤
He said 3 minutes before the end "she needs to have relegion in her". He should've said that at the beginning but then again why would he when he's sat in a shisha bar. From an Islamic perspective that was the reason for the marriage failure. He didn't require that as a criteria at first and nor did she for him. They weren't religious. They didn't have a strict moral compass throughout the marriage. It must've been based on individual likes, dislikes and desires and not on the advice, recommendations and most importantly, instructions, of the quran and sunnah. He's far from his ex now but seems like he's a lot closer to Allah which is an overall win and that victory alone should ease his mind and let him move on, in a better and proper direction.
It's brave of you to share this and be vulnerable, to help others. It shows empathy and care for your fellow Muslims. It seems like everything you did for your ex wife was done out of care and love for her. The good we do for others is never wasted. You will get rewarded for it in this life and the next. Often Allah tests us so we can get closer to Him. May Allah replace what you have lost with something better and grant your parents the highest level of Jannah @@shamsul1602
“You can’t force someone to cover, pray or practice their deen” But you were wrong from the onset to have selected a wife that didn’t share Islamic values- you met her in a sheeha lounge! You picked her for her looks, you didn’t delve into her lifestyle, you didn’t question how practicing she was or not… her deen wasn’t a priority when you chose her - seems like you’ve learnt and changed your stance in life . I don’t think she was groomed I think she was the person she was from when you married her 😮 I wish you all the best brother - I pray you find peace in your future spouse. May god bless you
You had relationships before you married the Moroccan then you excepted a fairy tale marriage full of respect, loyalty and honestly - Doesn’t work like that I’m afraid…
I actually run a marriage service in Morocco for about 2 years now and married off dozens of bros from UK, Australia, Canada & America. I've never experienced such a horror story. Its the typical stories from asian brothers like this you hear all the time. But then when you really look into the whole thing you'll find its these kinda bros who go for the bad apples on the tree, have no principles in marriage, are lead and not leading, then they complain moroccan women are bad and do black magic, lol.
Indeed. Many Muslim men marry from Morocco and have had positive experiences, moreso than the negative. There are some points to address based on this story: - It is better to know the local language when you go to Morocco. - when you neither know the culture nor language, in my experience, you're opening up yourself up to problems. - One must look at the holistic factors, not just beauty and "fun with the lads" context. Sorry, but if that's the pretext then that's a recipe for disaster. - hence, based on the above, you need to look at the family and their religiosity, traditional values etc. - why take a young lady who has most likely not even left her town, half way around the world?! Another recipe for disaster. - 25grand for a Waleemah/'Urs in Morocco?! Haha, anyone who paid this was totally skanked akh. That's a red flag. The average mahr/sdaq in Morocco, which evidently this bre didn't know, is around £300. However, in Morocco the 'Urs can be expensive among the non-religious and non-traditional people. - a religious lady would not demand or expect 25grand to be spent on a wedding. Her making "high demands" is a red flag bro. - it is evident from this case that the eyes were open from what she saw of money. She then abandoned ship after arriving into the UK and had increased access to what was previously out of her reach. One has to be careful when getting married Morocco. The spouse selection has to be based on deen, akhlaaq and traditional values from the outset. If not, then it's a recipe for disaster. No one to blame here but the bre himself.
Bro, stop blaming everybody else and start blaming yourself and your wife She is old enough to understand what she’s getting herself into and what she is doing if she really loved you she would have not done the things that she done and she be a proper wife to you
Exactly I was saying the same thing, he blamed the office guy and the other friend from Morocco as the downfall, yet the brother had zero leadership in the marriage and his ex-wife had no respect for him at all, it was a marriage based purely on impulse and look at the end result... Sigh.
met her at a shisha bar? really? He forgave her after intimate messages between her and the manager??? I'm sorry but this man brought this all onto himself. She 10000% slept with her manager, no doubt about it. He had wishful thinking and wanted to convince himself it couldn't be true. You reap what you sow.
He exudes a lack of authority and masculine assertiveness. She was probably a good looking Maghribi girl. I've done the Moroccan thing many times. West African women are feisty and quickly lose respect for a weak guy. Now, she might just have been total wrong 'un or he might have mistreated her (we'll never know). But the chances are he fell for the wiles of an attractive girl but didn't have the masculine traits to keep her.
Unfortunately you're not going to find halal wife material in a haram environment such as a shisha bar. The brother messed up from the get-go. The host is also demonstrating his own ignorance. The verse "there is no compulsion" applies to non-muslims. As for observing correct hijab, it is an obligation on the husband to enforce it, nothing about giving choices to the wife, by virtue of being an obligation from Allah and ultimately, Allah will question the husband about it due to being her guardian. It all goes back to the importance of gaining islamic knowledge and knowing halal from haram.
Hopefully someone can get this message to the brother, but if this entire ordeal led you to becoming closer to Allah and finally praying your daily prayers consistently - then that was the blessing of this test. You will look back and be grateful that this is what it took for you to turn back to prayer and servitude to Allah. She was only a piece to the puzzle.
From watching the full episode, this brother has a lot to learn. The marriage was on impulse as he only knew the girl for 2mths and got hitched, he deffo needed more time considering he was in a relationship with some one for 6yrs priorz also a Shisha lounge is deffo not a place to meet your future wife but that shows in turn what kinda lifestyle this brother had or attracted to. Additionally the loss of his parents had a big effect and since most of his sisters were married it was the case of.When is your turn? and some parents on their deathbed or not emotionally blackmail their children to get married just because of whatever and that's not the way to go. Also he was very naive to think that if the girl side paid for the wedding she would be more reluctant to stay, but that's not always true, also he discussed about her wearing a hijabi after he got married that's something that should have been done before. He should have confronted the manager guy much better and the other dork the girl had as a male best friend, all should have been established before hand.Seriously he needed to do better vetting of her around 6-12mths is good, unfortunately this brother is the victim of his own demise, him saying the other guys were the downfall of his marriage is not entirely true, I would say is 95% this guy's fault, I hope now he can take a few steps back learn from this. the guy has money and good status, but even men in his position can still fail at this game.
Let’s not forget that everyone makes mistakes. What he has done is something that he can’t take it back. There is no one that would say he or she hasn’t had a mistake and we will still keep making mistakes as it is in the human nature but we learn from it. We shouldn’t be judging his past actions but to wish him well and hope he learned a lot because anyone in his shoes will understand that it is not as easy as it sounds to get away from situations like this. Plus don’t blame a nation just on one person action, as this can happen to anyone and anywhere. Y’all need to take it easy on this brother. May Allah guide him and protect him and his family. Good thing he is coming back to Allah.
All of this could be avoided only if the aunties had done the vetting of this Lady. All her red flags would be pretty clear before marriage. That’s why get it vetted by aunties.
Brothers look for a woman who is a practising Muslimah God-fearing and fears Allah ﷻ don't matter which country they are from, this should be the criteria.
Sorry, but this is not a good example to present. Many Muslim men marry from Morocco and have had positive experiences, moreso than the negative. There are some points to address based on this story: - It is better to know the local language when you go to Morocco. - when you neither know the culture nor language, in my experience, you're opening up yourself up to problems. - One must look at the holistic factors, not just beauty and "fun with the lads" context. Sorry, but if that's the pretext then that's a recipe for disaster. - hence, based on the above, you need to look at the family and their religiosity, traditional values etc. - why take a young lady who has most likely not even left her town, half way around the world?! Another recipe for disaster. - 25grand for a Waleemah/'Urs in Morocco?! Haha, anyone who paid this was totally skanked akh. That's a red flag. The average mahr/sdaq in Morocco, which evidently this bre didn't know, is around £300. However, in Morocco the 'Urs can be expensive among the non-religious and non-traditional people. - a religious lady would not demand or expect 25grand to be spent on a wedding. Her making "high demands" is a red flag bro. - it is evident from this case that the eyes were open from what she saw of money. She then abandoned ship after arriving into the UK and had increased access to what was previously out of her reach. One has to be careful when getting married Morocco. The spouse selection has to be based on deen, akhlaaq and traditional values from the outset. If not, then it's a recipe for disaster. No one to blame here but the bre himself.
Akhi is 1200 too much then to give as a mahr to a righteous sister from there? I thought it was reasonable for a ring because im here lol but now I'm thinking it might be too much. She is happy with anything akhi but I thought let me try my best. And honor her because ALLHummabariklaha she is a woman of deen.
@@prioritisingprofit As-salaamu alaykum akh. Listen, see what is the average among the practising bres in the city for Mahr ('Sdaq'). I sounds like a lot still. But see what is the average among the practising brothers in the location, then you may want to give a bit more than that if you like. But I'd stick with the average.
My cousin brother had a similar situation when he got his wife from India. I got married in India and I find out that my ex-wife married me for the visa only. These girls from abroad are too risky to marry now
Not always . The treatment women get from British spouses is horrible and same goes to men who come here on spouse visa. Life becomes miserable for most people and they are not left with any choice except for divorce.. there is always a story from other side too. Simply putting blame on one party isn’t fair. But one should be wise enough to bring their spouses from good background
TRUTH IS HE CHOSE BADLY..........HE MISUNDERSTOOD HER......HEADSCARF MEANS LITTLE....LOOK AT BEHAVIOR FIRST.........I LOVE YOUR WORK PODCAST...LEARN SO MUCH.....
Stop victim blaming ! People take advantage of nice guys / women and thats the way of the world . Kindness is a underrated virtue that seen as weakness to many !
Be a nice guy but to an extent. Have self respect and self worth. The minute she first goes on cinema trip with boss alone is a problem we’re she either leaves the job or alarm bells should be ringing.
Man this guy is wildly delusional its sad, even now he's making excuses for her behaviour and blaming the manager. Your wife was presenting herself as a single girl and was probably complaining to the guy about how grossed out she is by you. OMG MAN ITS SO HARD TO WATCH AS THE VIDEO CONTINUES HE BLAMES EVERYONE BUT HER AND HIMSELF and still doesn't think he was a passport bro or acknowledge that he couldn't let her go coz he was overly attached and dependent
> You both expect your wives to work to help pay towards a life in London. Yet you both claim to have an ‘expensive’ lifestyle. The world is bigger than London. > if you can look after yourself, pay your own bills looking after an extra person ie your wife, who would coincidentally be sharing a bed with you, and would not require you to upsize- there’s no reason why you couldn’t continue paying for the bills > there is more to life than ‘quick breaks’ and ‘resort holidays’, being a supporting backbone of the family home will be more credible > what happens when your wife falls pregnant and must take care of your child? Do you plan on living off her maternity allowance? Or is she now worthy of being taken care of as she’s been promoted to position of ‘mother of your child’ > in Mizan’s words, mirror mirror on the wall would I marry myself at all 🙄
Well said 🙏🙏, you’re right. I did say ‘hyperbole’ but I respect what you’re saying nevertheless. “ Just to clarify, I don’t expect them to work, I was just saying ‘speaking generally’ and as a representative, most men in this era can’t afford to run a household on one income unfortunately. Ps. People living in council housing may be the exception. But you can’t go around saying I retired my wife but getting benefits. I’m talking about people having to rent property or even paying a mortgage. It’s impossible for the masses. Mirror Mirror” haha forgot about that! Thanks for engaging and I appreciate the insightful comment.
I think the combined trauma's the borther went through led him to being susceptible to falling for her tricks. Wallah brother if you're reading this just know we support and make dua for you to find a righteous wife and a beautiful family. Yes, there was mistakes on your part when it came to vetting but take this as a lesson learnt do not dwell on these comments which may bash you with no benefit given. I commend you for being able to share your story and hope Allah increases you in good.
It's her choice, but is was HIS choice to Marry her or not A "headscarf" does not = "covering up", or hijab. Hijab is a barrier of all parts of the awra and is also state of mind. And there is plenty 'Islamic' 'evidence, when it comes to choosing a proper spouse. The host has no right to atatck the comment section. We are stating facts. Sadly, many people ignore red flags or fail to look at their mistakes...
Muslim or not Muslim, people make mistakes and no one is perfect and we should not judge. Sad seeing some horrible comments on both episodes when in fact you should be sending Duas to him and his family and not talking bad about him. He has gone through a lot of losing his loved ones. He is a good guy 100% and very brave for sharing everything.
And this is why Nabi Muhammad sala Allahu alayhi wa salam said: Marry a woman based on her DEEN. Source: Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (May Allah exalt his mention and protect him from imperfection) said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!”. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Im a little confused how a married women can be groomed brother? She is an adult. You are too kind, thats all. Maybe your ex wife knew your weekness thats why she kept threatening to leave you. Lots of red flags having male friends and hanging out with them as muslim. I guess she wasnt practicing deen thats why all the issue.
Being a married woman, i must say, another man will only be closer to you if you allow him to be and want him to be. It's better to accept what has happened and not try to find excuses for why it happened other than she allowed another man's company. Women from South asian countries are very wise from a young age and same with the girls from countries like morroco, turkey etc. I just feel she very well knew what she was doing and definitely was not getting groomed or brainwashed. It was definitely her choice.
100% correct.
I was just about to write this. Plus you can't blame a third party for the breakup of your marriage when it's quite clear when his ex was allowing these guys to get closer to her. A sad situation all around, as the brother, though a little naive, does seem like a lovely guy.
Couldn't agree more
I agree, I'm telling you now her brothers or dad wouldn't let her just have boy friends and go cinema alone !
I am familiar with Morocco and its culture. In some instances, women who frequent Sheesha lounges are perceived as escorts, often seeking financial support until they can secure a foreign husband. It seems this individual may not have been aware of this context. May Allah heal his heart and guide him towards making a wiser choice, such as finding a practicing sister who lives according to Islamic principles. May Allah guide us all and forgive us for our shortcomings. Ameen.
This brother sent his wife to work as he wanted to live a certain lifestyle, i earn minimum wage and i dont own a house yet my wife is a housewife and full time mum and Alhamdulillah we manage easily, even get to go on holiday once a year. Blessings in what we earn is from Allah, He makes a little go aling way.
I'm glad you said that. I'm not a top earner, but that didn't stop me from owning our home whilst my wife stayed at home to raise the children. Ps my 2 household income colleagues don't actually their houses. Lifestyle choices and excuses if you ask
💯 bang on bro
I was looking for this comment. This is it. The problem of modern based marriages where the household responsibilities are split between both spouses.
@@AndenetPlus riba ?
@AB-hu2uw I think you'll find that making £40/hour for your organisation while earnings £15/hour in return is technically riba. As is buying your phone for 20 times more than the cost of manufacturing it. It's an unequal exchange - exploitative. It's literally riba, but preach on Sheikh.
This guy went through a lot and is brave enough to face the internet twice, I'm sure a lot of us wouldnt have the balls to share such a personal story to the internet so mad respect to the brother. May God make it easy for him in this journey!
Yep she went through alot of guys too
Yeh that woudnt happen to a lot of man I new this shit when I was 15 you do your chill and you get married to someone for marriage reasons that’s why you go back home get hitched to a good girl that will look after you and your parents this guy married a side thing lala
Agree, I admire his strength and honesty.
This woman knew exactly what she was doing. Respectfully she just wasn’t into you brother…the more you run after women, the more they run away, but draw away from them, they come running after you. You ignored major red flags 🚩was too soft and lacked leadership skills. This bum guy saw an opportunity and took it, ultimately the opportunity was given by her. She wasn’t groomed, she just didn’t have respect for you brother…she was an opportunist and took advantage of you.
Take some time out and heal from your trauma.
You deserve way better…..and I pray only better comes your way brother
Agreed 💯
I agree! She knew what she was doing. People from abroad have so much knowledge on this type of deceit. Have patience the right person will come to you.
You deserve better get this rottin woman out of your head man she did not want a marriage but a financial and European Visa there are many scamers and men abuser in this world.£25000 a massive con you could buy a bloody flat for that.
Sorry I’m Morocco we don’t go out with other men if your married. Sorry she played you.
Stop lying yes y’all do ! Moroccan women are known for going with men for papers.😂😂😂😂
Big props to the brother for coming forward coz lets be honest here, no one gives a damn what men go through nowadays whether if its in homelessness, mental health, suicide, emotional abuse in a marriage. Us men have no support system. I hope he has learned from this experience and finds a woman who is a wifey material and a good mother to his kids. When a marriage ends, it is not always the guys fault, there are so many women out there doing toxic emotional abuse to their husbands, they wont take any accountability of it and no one is talking about that. They always bring their problems from their past and bring it into their brand new marriage and now their husband is now the receiving end of it. We need more men coming forward so that it can get recognition and awareness
Well said. Appreciate your kind words
👏🏽
Men should look after each other and care about each others mental health and homelessness
@@naviifra2374 as much as a i agree with you, there is no funding for men's problems coz there is no awareness, no one talks about it on the news, talk shows, news articles etc. You may talk about it for a few days and it all forgotten afterwards
I’m Moroccan raised in the U.K. I’ll be honest. I’ll say it simple lamen terms because I have also experienced the same thing as him back in the late 90s accept I’m female. We as European raised ethnics to Moroccans or any other county are generally looked at as victims. I’ve heard them say it 1000 times. They are hustling and sadly he got hustled. This is not the first and last time a woman/man from a 3rd world country will find away to leave. Us born and raised here are faaaarr more niya and sincere in our intentions in comparison to them. In my case I was under a spell however even now 2024 they all say they want out of morocco to find a better life through any means of deception. This guy seems like a very nice individual, maybe lacks the skill sets to be assertive, but I pray that his nativity doesn’t turn him bitter towards people and life. Not everyone is a hyena. I would advice him to get assertive lessons and to be more mindful of people’s agendas towards him in the future inshallah.
One last point: the agenda is that most Moroccan women in morocco are not interested in Asian men, they know Asian men are financially stable, and they know this because some of them are their flashing their cash, sleeping with prostitutes. I’m not implying she was.
Most of the time they know they don’t have a huge amount of respect for women because of what they see, and so they hustle them to get to Europe to get a Visa, only to bring her 3ashiq (lover) over. Hence the “best friend”
I would say it’s very few and far between that their are genuine over seas marriages now adays. The financial crisis has made things much worse.
There seems to be a trend in the last decade of men fetishising Moroccan women. I know because I am one. It’s a bizarre trend that every Asian, black, European man wants a Moroccan wife. I’m my opinion morocco is very westernised in mentality and it’s fair to say because even though in Africa, it is the furthest Muslim country to the west hence the name mughrib.
I don’t think that all cultures are compatible and imo Asian culture mixed with Moroccan culture doesn’t mix no matter how much there are similarities in them regarding Islam. Most are influenced by culture and imo I think theres more differences than similarities for it to work.
FYI, she’s deffo not as naive as he likes to think of her. The same way she aloud him to approach her while sat in a Shisha place knowing she’ll get approached by men in those environments clearly tells me it’s something she is used to and is ok with. so why would she all of a sudden be naive towards her manager approaching her for a 1 to 1 date. He gives her way too many excuses than she deserves. Same way she seduced her husband into marriage, is the same way she’ll seduce a Manager for a pay rise or better position. These people are not naive trust me. She just played the game and used his insecurities against him to manipulate him into allowing her to get away with murder.
GOAT comment. Especially the bit about niyya. It all comes down to education and sadly the average level of education in Morocco isn't that high, even when it comes down to a person with a degree. Lying, deception, cheating, HUSTLING are the names of the game
It also doesn't help that it's a very unequal society and they've got Europe literally on their doorstep hypnotising them with it's golden streets. This causes them to abandon the little morals or 'imane' that they have at the first sight of a golden ticket
It’s embedded in them. Colonisation, lack of education, poverty, large gap between the rich and poor, the list goes on. The system in morocco makes the hustlers and imo Moroccans are extremely materialistic people. Sadly a lot will sell out for any opportunity to get out, rather than think about their moral stance regarding their actions. I know my people very well. 😵💫
I agree with you. I find those muslims raised in the UK have stronger faith and are lest enamoured by Western culture and practices. Also, I know a lot of friends and associates who have been "scammed" or "taken for a ride" by morrocan (mainly arab morrocans as opposed to berbers for some reason) men and women- usually people who have been raised there (regardless of whether they moved to the west in their late teens or after)...
@@CTG2500 I agree! However the birth of social media has greatly influenced young women’s mind set. It seems that Every woman wants to live like a kardashian off the back of a naive man who’s financially stable. Nothing wrong with that if it’s genuine, however it isn’t always the case. Everyone seems to have jumped on all the bandwagons and mostly have chosen the feminist route. If you want marriage, you can’t be a full blown feminist imo. Don’t get me wrong, there’s alot of feminist aspects in Islam that allows women’s rights etc but alot don’t even know their Islamic rights and have chosen the extreme toxic westernised feminism that only causes harm. Getting married and expecting your husband to be OK with having male friends or socialising with men in the work environment is an absolute No and most know this. She wouldn’t of been able to get away with that behaviour with a Moroccan husband that’s for sure and she wouldn’t have even tried it. SMH 🤦🏻♀️
@@sabrinakalam9876 yes because we have nothing to prove. When you watch the kufar every weekend going down the pub, club etc doing the same routine, and pretty much on the path of destruction. Leading to mental health, long term alcohol consumption leading to high death rates and drug abuse. Not that they know different but that’s a different story. You realise you have nothing to prove, no reason to deceive anyone, and if you do anything it’s for the sake of Allah. You either choose the dunya or the akhira, you can have both but with a high price to pay because it means who have to work harder for the akhira if you went down the wrong path at some point. From what I’ve seen from the dunya and living a life that isn’t essentially ours as Muslims living in the west, I realised I’m missing out on absolutely nothing. U.K. life style wasn’t built for the Muslims anyway.
This all resulted from a lack of tawheed and gheerah, they literally met in a shisha lounge it was destined to fail. This is a lesson to all of us to prioritise deen in all aspects of our life. Allah has perfected every aspect of the deen for example the marriage process in the presence of a wali etc. Follow the shar1ah in every aspect of ur life and this will prevent nightmares such as this. May Allah guide us all ameen
Soebhan'Allah so true!
It’s not about sheesha lounge, nowadays girls & guys do sheesha and it’s a norm. Unlike drinking/smoking drugs then it’s a red flag. In this case It’s about the age and culture differences. Also probably the love was not mutual . Probably Her intentions was to get to UK which a lot of people from back want to.
Umar Bin Khattab said: “As ugly as a woman can be that is easily gets along and mingles with men and is not shy of them.” (Narrated by Muslim).
Jews used to marry women for their wealth.
European used to marry women for their beauty.
Arabs used to marry women for their lineage.
Prophet Mohamad said that a Muslim marry women for their pious application of faith.
Sir, you guys don't need an awareness, you need to go back to your deen .
A true muslim won't consider such women as a catch.
As God said in the quran ( don't blame me rather blame yourself)
(فلا تلوموني ولوموا انفسكم)
@@yeboi4266
💯💯💯💯
May Allah guide him and give him rizq from there where he had never expected. Ameen ya Rabb!
Brothers and sisters plz make dua for him.
This brother has been so vulnerable. So he found her at the rooftop sheesha bar and left with her is that not a red flag. I think she expected him to be a punter but he wanted a marriage. This is a very sad story. He seems like a genuine guy who wanted a happy marriage.
Heart breaking to hear it took a hit on his mental health. But good job he had family and friends to help him get back on his feet.
I know and know of many brothers who married good Moroccan Muslimahs. Prioritise your deen. Ofc if you meet your spouse in a Shisha lounge. The chances are it ain’t gonna last
I don’t see anything wrong with Shisha lounge . What’s bad about it ?
@@chonrahman8334Learn your deen and then come back and enlighten us.
No I agree shisha lounge in UK is fine. The stigma attached to it in Morocco is different. Only certain type of women go there in Morocco
@@Zazezoo Shisha does not contain alcohol so what is your problem ? That is a acceptable place . Where would you like him to meet his future wife that is acceptable to your learnings ? Enlighten me ?
Stop trolling. I hope you guys are not serious 😅
A married woman never does these things unless she does not want her husband at all. Very sad for the brother.
👌🏽👌🏽
Brother the manager didn’t ruin your marriage , your ex wife did.
The brother simped hard, should've ended her spouse visa, plain and simple.
The hooker was too smart for him
She waited , until she got her stay
I actually new her
@rja478 who is she?
@H_G2013 her name was imane , just a hooker from agadir
He thought he could make a housewife out of her
Big mistake, he made
He could have easily found a well mannered Bengali women who might be even living in the UK and saved himself all the headache
I forgot the part where in our beautiful religion it says that as a Muslim your only limited to just marrying your own castle/ethnicity. That's the thing with most parents/ppl yeah just marry our own and things be okay... It's not entirely true.
@@tajwalikhan9995 I have a feeling Bengali women are agreeable and if he looked for a Bengali religious family he might have had a very good chance statistically to have a wonderful marriage
There aren't many good bengali woman anymore in thr UK. Infact they do not deserve a guy like him because they would never even look twice at someone like him since their standards are over the roof in what they want in a husband
@@eastafricanqueen9866Yes he is from a Bengali background but that does not mean it ends there, you can have an agreeable Pakistani, Afghan, Iraqi, kurd etc wife. I'm not a fan of limited mindsets that say "ohhh all the best women are from this country or Oh yeah the Bengalis are more agreeable" like you do know there are other countries and ethnicities out there.
They only choose Moroccan women coz they know Moroccan women will marry anything, even a dog...as long as it has money.
Well done for coming on raising awareness. Why is our ummah the most judgmental, making horrible comments towards this guy? We have all made mistakes in our life. How many have the guts to admit it to help others? Take this story as a lesson, not an opportunity to put this man down.
It’s alright - The comments section shows that our community doesn’t allow us to be vulnerable and discuss the impacts on mental health and hardship! We all have opinions, and I completely get it and respect it! I’m at the stage where I’m thick skinned and numb to the comment section and have no emotions towards it except for the fact that religion should have played a pivotal role in our marriage early on, which I completely agree. Lesson learnt.
This show is about raising awareness on different walks of life! The world has changed over the last two decades! Women are more independent, social media is worshipped more than religion, arranged marriage via the mosque is a rarity, yet mental health amongst our community is not accepted.
Off course, if we practiced our deen, maybe the current divorce rate wouldn’t be as high this day and age.
Right now our communityhase to adapt and evolve in understanding the new generation- along with our approach and invitation to Islam, otherwise we fear more and more young individuals will derail.
Belittling someone is not the way anymore!
From your guest speaker - Shamsul
May Allah swt bless you. Thank you for taking the time to appear on the show and also having the courage to speak about your issues with such candor. Indeed we can all become better Muslims and stay on the right path, but there are many things out of our control, we only need to look at the stories of our Prophets (pbut) to understand that even the most pious of Allah’s creatures are tested through various trials and tribulations that they had no control over. They were tested through their spouses, disobedient children, and various other means.
We live in a free society where people make their own choices, so it’s important you tackled this issue head on. I’m sorry for some of the silly comments on here that are out of touch with reality, using this as an opportunity to take the moral high ground and to hurl shit towards you. Please don’t let those nasty comments get to you. We do have a highly judgmental community, particularly the south Asian demographic. I also find our community to be the biggest hypocrites, which you are clearly not because you have appeared on the show not pretending to be perfect.
It appears the brother who created this channel has a difficult mission ahead, I hope all of your work can help shape the minds of such backward people. I salute you for having the courage and courtesy to share your story. Allah swt is the best of planners, keep faith and strive towards continued closeness towards your Lord.
Best of luck, your fellow brother in faith.
The last thing she said before she left was ‘where’s my resident card?’ that says it all really.
We don't know if she said that - .....
@@LetsTravellChannelthat’s what he said around 58.00 ish. He didn’t deserve this, he seems like good man.
@@LetsTravellChannelNext time watch the video before commenting
@@LetsTravellChannel yes Tippy is right two things she said about her residence one she was talking to her friend in Morocco about how to stay in uk whilst they were splitting up and two when she came back to get her things she said where’s my residency card , not I’m sorry , I wish you all the best she’s very immature just more interested in her stay than the hurt she has caused .
Lesson 1 from Divorce: never beg for love, attention and respect ever again.. If somebody is really into you and fears Allah, those things will be there naturally.. Most problems in marriages are due to lack of Islam knowledge and practicing.. “cheating, going out, drinking, opposite gender friends, etc… “wouldn’t exist within a practicing muslim couple..May Allah subhanna wa ta’aala guide his ex-wife and grant this man a pious wife which he deserves and who gives him unconditional love. We can learn from this case. Thanks for sharing.
Brother I actually think your a good and decent guy but you really need to wake up. Even if her manager was trying it on her, she should as an adult and a married woman realise that she shouldn’t be sneaking behind your back and etc. I got a gut feeling she knew what she was doing and wanted to do what she done. I’m sorry to say but she was from the streets and you got lucky that this marriage didn’t last too long. The only one that destroyed the marriage was your EX WIFE, not her friend or the manager as the decision was all in her hands. Hope you all the best in your future relationship Insha’Allah
I completely agree. No married woman can be manipulated into thinking it is OK to be spending one on one time with another man.
The reality is most of these brothers go to morocco to get it on … and then they expect to find a practicing respectable wife in that same environment, let’s be real you’re delusional if you’re going to places like Marrakesh and Agadir hoping to bump into wifey material!!! And then you start off that relationship in sheesha bars with the woman 😂…. What exactly are you expecting … it takes two to tango …. And now this brother is playing the victim card … if I had a penny for the amount of times I hear brother getting dazzled on holidays by women in tourist cities getting divorced …. come on guys … grow up!
He is a victim he fell in love during a hard time in his life . There are many successful marriages he chose the wrong girl ! What is wrong with a Shisha bar , people meet good and bad people in all kinds of places . Not everyone is street Savy some people see the world through innocent angelic eyes and the reality is there is a lot of takers out there .
The devil always attacks you when you are most vulnerable that’s how life works ! Stop Victim blaming
@@techlabukn.h.4501these brothers are soft yara go on holiday enjoy your self go back home where ever your back home is and get hitched but na they want a posh wife you keep a good wife and whatever you need on the side that’s it a job and good education don’t teach you this shit
@@chonrahman8334you will never find a traditional praticing wife in a shisha lounge or bar 😂😂what a joke if you to to these cities in Marokko they choose you to get a green card they dont care about norms and values
Seriously the more I hear from this man ....just angers me! How he stands up straight without a back bone is a miracle! She took him for a ride and he still blames everyone eles but her.
😂😢😂😢😂😢😢
She was gaslighting you the whole time. Her behaviour is unacceptable in Morocco as well . No Moroccan husband would accept such behaviour (meeting with manager for cinema dates ) . That’s crazy. She acted innocent, while knowing very well she is sabotaging her marriage .
Definitely takes courage to speak up on such a public platform about taboo topics such as divorce. Well done to the brother for talking about this, and well done to the host for being sensitive to the discussion whilst simultaneously pressing on hard topics/questions.
This is a beautiful man, i can tell he has the best heart. Sounds like the ex-wife just wasn’t ready for the seriousness of marriage. He will find a wife who is his equal and the marriage will be successful.
Ameen
This is championship level dayooth ,a man call his wife every time she wakes up 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and he is watching his wife engage in convo with another man every day
Exactly, he new everything, from the start ,
I followed her on insta,
Very bad girl , mini skirts were the norm , this is in london
Bikinis on holiday with him
Disgusting people
It’s the truth although the presenter to make it an issue. If we are disrespecting the brother personally fair enough but we have to be honest, he didn’t have any self respect to allow that to happen although he comes across a genuine guy. Even the presenter turned around and said he’s just turned around and had a go at the audience via camera, even he was shocked throughout this episode.
Bro don't laugh or kick a brother when he is down. Ofcourse he should have never tolerated or allowed that. He was miskeen. But bro there is no benefit in mocking and insulting. If that is the case may ALLAH return it to you and make you a dayooth. Ameen.
Bro is dumb he just got crazy when a Moroccan girl wanted to him he clearly never had experience and fun with beautiful women
Bro is Bengali. He could’ve went to East London, thrown a ball and it would hit a beautiful, suitable Bengali woman. Madness took him to Morocco
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
This!!!!
Bengali girls are 🔥
Must say Bengali sisters are beautiful and pious wallah. Your community is just a little too tribal though akh 🫡😂
He should have just married a Bengali woman from England. This is what you get trying to get a younger bride from overseas and a different culture, they are only after one thing! Of course you are going to get played for a fool!
He was committing zina on the get go, in a relationship for 6 years what the heck, haram all the way, then found an morrocon who was not practicing her religion
Bengali girls are a headache
Brother needs to take the red pill. He wouldn't of married her in the first place. Too much simping behaviour. Unfortunately this is what the west has done to the brothers!
In a nutshell. If you are not a slave to Allah, then you become a slave to your desires.
You mentioned you never prayed and only did towards the end of your marriage. So your worship was directed towards your ex-wife.
Sometimes Allah will put you through difficult tests in order to bring you back. You didn't take heed when your nephew, or your parents died (may Allah give them jannah, aameen), so Allah tested you and broke you through a bad marriage.
Say Alhumdulilah. It's a blessing.
I cant summarise everything in an hour show. But offcourse I started praying after my parents and nephews death. Everyday. But I fell off several months later. Became inconsistent.
I prayed Istikhara during marriage to gather guidance.
30 days later I saw the signs.
Maybe that's a story for another show.
My brother Shamsul listen to my words very carefully, I swear by Allah if your Islam is intact and no one can strip that from you - you are the richest man in the world. If you lost Allah, you lost everything, but if you gained Allah and lost everything, in reality you gained everything. Women come go, children come go, parents come and go, but every soul will meet Allah alone and be left alone in the grave, ready to answer. When you look for a wife, Islam says look at her religion 1st, but unfortunately we have placed beauty above it, that's where people make the mistake. A God fearing woman is better than a 1000 super models, because with her you can be at peace. Brother don't ever worry about her or think about her again, focus on Allah, open Qur'an, go Umrah, make intention for Hajj, dedicate yourself to Allah and see the doors opened up for you. Please make intention to go Makkah and Medina soon, it will do wonders for you and make you realise this life is only but a day. The real life begins on The Day of Standing. All the best brother, stay strong - be patient, get close to your maker, ask him to guide you and wait for the peace to enter the heart.
@@shamsul1602our strength in our faith and salah is always up and down. You seem like a really genuine brother akhi, this test was obviously to bring you closer to Allah. May Allah reward you and preserve you
Sorry to say but this brother wasn't a leader enough towards his wife.
She was not listening 🙉 just doing what she wants !
I don't understand this leadership business lol. I've been married for over 12 years alhamdulilah, and it's not down to my husband's leadership lol. More mine lol
If a women is a h then it doesn’t matter which guy she marries
If a women is disloyal it doesn’t matter about the guy the women is the weak person
This brother seems soft hearted whoch is good but i think he needs to learn when to be firm and have boundaries. Otherwise woman will despise you and not give respect
Yep like men too !!
It’s not easy to leave a spouse because your heart yearns for them and what could be - even if they’re being unfaithful. Extremely painful to be lied to even when you have proof. I’ve learnt that you cannot ever find tranquility through people, we have to put Allah azzawajjal at our hearts centre and then relations slot in. Allah heal your heart and bless you with a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.
This guy went through some hard times and in the moment he made some bad decisions as he wasn't thinking clearly. Anyone who can relate will understand exactly what he went through. Has nothing to do with overseas bride. Plenty of these stories with uk marriages.
I have been through it and am now in a very happy marriage. Just have to be proactive. Now you will now be able to recognise a good woman instantly. Always a blessing from every lesson.
She was a grafting in Morocco and unfortunately you are her best customer.
She wanted 500 dhirams off me once , told her nah 🤣
@@rja478 Khouya you seem to know a lot about her. Drop her insta
This brother needs counselling as soon as possible, he suffering with serious trauma and still looks troubled.
He's outlook through out his marriage was flawed right from the start, he needs to wake up and realise that this westernised mindset is what created all his problems. he is trying to be something he is not , id advise you to appreciate your own cultural values and change your mindset and get closer to the islamic way of life. Also there are plenty of traditional simple decent women out there who are honest respectable and beautiful so dont be troubled with your loss, you was lucky things could've been worse , she was definitely dishonest and very immature. Be strong, stay positive and stay away from women like that ! Insha Allah things will get better just dont make the same mistakes.
😊
You’re absolutely right . Firstly, he had one broken relationship then his mother passed away and now this. She knew what she was doing . She didn’t want him she just wanted to come to U.K.
“ALLAH swt gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.” - Thank you Shamsul for being so vulnerable and open with us, it must have been so difficult. It is so rare nowadays for people to fight for their marriage and Allah swt will reward you for giving it your best.
Bless him, he thought she didn't understand why her manager wanted to take her to the cinemas. This man is a naive soul but also seems like a good guy, but he needs to chnage his mindset.
Such a diplomatic response to the absolute trauma he’s experienced! Proud of you my brother!
I think the brother is not being honest with himself, sometimes situations happen and because we are not ready to face the truth we make excuses. A few points to think about
1) why would she argue with her husband if he didnt want her to go to the cinema with a male work colleague unless there was some emotional involvement, and the fact that you guys argued over it shows there was more going on behind the scenes.
2) How do you know that she didn't ask her manager to change her shifts so they were working together
3) She was not groomed because she knew what she was doing
4) The manager is getting all the blame but the brother keeps making excuses for his ex but the fact that the manager didn't back off was because she must of encouraged the situation.
5) If a woman really loves her husband she would never glance in the direction of another man no matter how rich or good looking he might be.
6) She had two different men on the scene, everybody keeps getting blamed for talking to a married woman but there should be some responsibility placed on the woman too.
Sometimes we place people in a position which should only be reserved for Allah swt, and SubhanAllah look at the situation in a different light Allah put you through this situation in order to turn you back to Him. My advice to the brother would be please place Allah swt as a priority always and be conscious of Him in every action you do.
@@MikeSpence-wk6iv i think your refering to the western woman, there are many women out there that will stand by their men no matter what. Those women are the back bones in the family unit. They take care of their homes, raise their children and take care of their husbands.
He's probz like some muslim men who think women are delicate petals
What's classy about a shisha bar?? You can't meet your potential wife in haram clubs and bars then expect them to change their haram party lifestyle for you! Get a life. Stop trying to change people. Sorry to sound harsh but the red flags were crystal clear from day one....May Allah guide us all in making the right decision for marriage. Ameen.
True
The host is very elegantly spoken and well mannered well done 👏
I agree.
Well mannered while belittling the manager because he earns 35k with tips. Money doesn't make a man.
He interrupts a lot
This podcast made Me more angry with the brother that got cheated on
He said 'she's got boundaries.' She wouldn't cheat!she was blatantly going out on dates with her manager.
Sorry to say but this brother is a complete 'mug'
What is a mug?
Something you drink out of
It means a fool @@ShifaNas-g2y
@@ShifaNas-g2yIt's basically an idiot that can be bullied or taken for a fool.
A mug is someone that get takes advantage of !
We need to remember there are many successful marriages between these two community as well.
She defo knew the script
May Allah grant you a wonderful spouse brother. I'm so glad that you have shared your story. It is very refreshing to hear a male perspective. ( I am female btw)
FEEL FOR THE BROTHER, BUT ITS A LESSON LEARNT - GOOD RIDDANCE. ON ANOTHER NOTE THE HOST IS BRILLIANT. HE ASKED ALL THE CORRECT QUESTION WITH GRACE
I have watched both parts 1 & 2, and would like to thank the host for putting this together and the guest for sharing his experiences with us to create awareness and to take key lessons from all of this. I hope you are in a much better place now insha'Allah and I pray Allah grants your parents and nephew Jannatul Firdous. The key thing which struck me from all of this is that 'you found peace in prayer'. Allah says that he tests those that he loves, and if you are now praying and worshipping Allah then alhamdulillah take this as experience and Allah deals with everyone's actions and affairs accordingly. From everything you shared with us it is clear that the woman is a narcissistic person, playing the victim card, lying and manipulating behaviour. These characteristics are very common with compulsive liars who choose not to understand the difference between a truth and a lie when it comes to them. You must remember that this character did not come about over the period of 1-2 months, these behaviours were taught within a certain environment very early on and was always part of her character. She can change ONLY if she starts to take accountability, but a narcissistic person will never take accountability. Their behaviour can also come across as someone possessed and if you continue trying then you will decline and fall into a rut. She was not being manipulated at work, in fact she was the key manipulator. The biggest red flag bro was meeting a woman at a shisha bar, these environments have literally become like night clubs imitating the non believers and we all know what kind of people go to these places. To summarise, find a woman with deen, because if she worships Allah then you have nothing to worry about and you will save yourself from lots of heartache. To the guest I commend you for the courage and for sharing with us, imagine the blessings you will get for saving people from similar situations. I wish you all the very best for the future and may Allah give you someone way better insha'Allah.
Marrying for a persons beauty is allowed but we can see the effects of that, the Iman of a person is indicative of what kind of future you might have, everything else is a massive gamble
Please remember you are marrying the future mother or father for your children
This is hurting 😢......I'm from Kenya but I'm afraid of what sisters and even brothers are to doing each other may Allah guide single sisters and brothers to right people Amin
Marrying from overseas or outside your culture is dangerous
Host knows himself the guys a dayooth but trying to butter him up for a part 3 😭Guys been taken advantage of again
😂 nah bro that’s hilarious
😂😂😂 guy said: part 1 was so nice, we had to do it twice
Jews used to marry women for their wealth.
European used to marry women for their beauty.
Arabs used to marry women for their lineage.
Prophet Mohamad said that a Muslim marry women for their pious application of faith.
Sir, you guys don't need an awareness, you need to go back to your deen .
A true muslim won't consider such women as a catch.
As God said in the quran ( don't blame me rather blame yourself)
(فلا تلوموني ولوموا انفسكم)
I don’t blame him at all he was going through a lot of traumatic circumstances and his decision making was not as clear as it should have been , to go through what he went through and sit and do this is brave .
That's All that needs to be Said for both Part 1 and Part 2 in This Comment Alone. 💯 percent Correct
Bro she was never yours, it was just your turn
This is sincere advice to Shamsul bhai. You went through a lot of test and challenges. You clearly said you did not pray before but praying now Alhamdulillah. You have to understand that the reason Allah tests us so we return to him and seek his help and forgiveness. If the test from Allah helps you to become a spiritual person then Alhamdulillah your safe but if you are tested and do not become spiritual then it’s a form of punishment. Allah will continue to test us as he loves us and for us to wake up this life is short. Please understand tawwaqul
Why are some people blaming him ????She was dishonest her behaviour was bad . He did all the right things that a husband should do .
Don’t Victim blame and say Gods punishment.
God gives free will his judgment was poor at the time and clouded due to very sad circumstances. We are Human !
God is blessing him with love removing the woman from his life and sharing and helping brothers and sisters who have been victims .
Agree with the comments. As muslim females, we learn at a very very young age how to conduct ourselves around men and how to set boundaries and protect our honour. Consorting with men on a personal level, regardless of whether they are your superior at work, is a matter of choice and character. Additionally, I don't think cultural differences are so great especially when you share faith. I know many people in mixed marriages (north africans and south asians mainly) who are very happy and on the same page re a lot of things especially family values etc.
Brother, sorry to say your ex wife knew what she was doing. Your ex wife pushed you to the limits to see how far you would accept her haram behaviour. I believe this was her personality since day 1. It all got revealed in the UK.
Picking her up from the Shisha place was a red flag 🚩.
Allah knows best.
Alhamdulilah you are safe and left this marriage. You done the right thing 💯
Sorry to say your ex wife allowed the flirting and accepted another man's attention. Its not your fault . Move on in peace ✌
I doubt she ever loved him
She just used him from day 1
This is either utter foolishness or naivety of the highest level
Sorry but Seeing the way the brother reacted to you mentioning black magic and how his face changed. Deffo think the brother should get him self checked out. Also these stories are very common of south Asian men going Morocco and getting sihr done on them. May Allah protect us ameen.
💯
Wow ! Sounds like rebound marriage to someone who married without thinking about it much and fell for the lavish lifestyle then realised life in london is not what she thought and the marriage was not what she really wanted. And there were other men ! I do think trauma of losing both parents and nephew within months of each other, just after a break up of a six year relationship led him to make wrong decisions as he was vulnerable. A lesson not to rush into marriage with an unknown.
He's a very brave chap, hats off to him.
No, he’s a weak, fragile loser.
Im not very good at explaining how i say thing.
As a white British woman i really like knowing about different cultures..This is the only presenter who i understand when he interviews men and women who have bad relationships in different cultures..All cultures around the world most of us just want is to be happy,loved and care for ( The saying is you never know what going on behind closed doors) ..I think it is so good you have these brave men and ladies able to talk about their experiences with home life family relationship their struggle with mental health.
probably not making sense Hope all your guest get the help and support they deserve...
It was a taboo talking about family life and telling people about one’s issues in marriage but thank God things have changed and one can get help wether mental or emotional support from organisations
Wishing this guy some peace and a smooth recovery - he's been through a nightmare
The reasons it all went wrong:
1) Married a non-practicing girl, sounds like she didn't really pray, no hijab
2) Met her at a shisha bar
3) She had male friends
4) She didn't have clear boundaries with the opposite gender
5) She didn't respect her husband - he shouldn't even need to ask her to stop talking to other men
6) He made her work in a mixed environment, encouraged her to go out and work and mix with her colleagues
Solutions for everyone watching
1) Marry a girl of deen, make sure she covers, prays 5x on time, ask for references to make sure she has not had previous relationships or male friends
2) Marry a girl that you have to go through the wali to meet her
3) Don't put your wife in a position where she has to work, financial responsibility is on the man
4) Find righteous females for her to be in the company of to keep her busy
5) Absolutely zero tolerance for male friends
6) Talk to the girl before about things like halloween, her understanding of limits with opposite gender
7) Finally, try to make the marriage work, but have zero tolerance for disrespect. 3 strikes and you're out.
I can see you're a good guy bro, ignore the comments from these people who think they know it all and make judgements. May Allah guide you and give you happiness and peace that you deserve ❤
JazakALLAHkheir bro for writing this beautiful message. This is how we should speak to our brothers
OMG,culture is not a problem,lack of deen is a big problem.
He said 3 minutes before the end "she needs to have relegion in her". He should've said that at the beginning but then again why would he when he's sat in a shisha bar. From an Islamic perspective that was the reason for the marriage failure. He didn't require that as a criteria at first and nor did she for him. They weren't religious. They didn't have a strict moral compass throughout the marriage. It must've been based on individual likes, dislikes and desires and not on the advice, recommendations and most importantly, instructions, of the quran and sunnah. He's far from his ex now but seems like he's a lot closer to Allah which is an overall win and that victory alone should ease his mind and let him move on, in a better and proper direction.
You are saving 1000s of people
Your the only person to write this. Thank you.
My message was to create awareness. Sharing life mistakes and experience is free. Knowledge is power.
@@shamsul1602don’t worry. Many think it but are silent. May Allah make it easier for you and your loved ones
Ameen
It's brave of you to share this and be vulnerable, to help others. It shows empathy and care for your fellow Muslims. It seems like everything you did for your ex wife was done out of care and love for her. The good we do for others is never wasted. You will get rewarded for it in this life and the next. Often Allah tests us so we can get closer to Him. May Allah replace what you have lost with something better and grant your parents the highest level of Jannah @@shamsul1602
Yeah man I was just about to approach a girl without hijab at a shisha lounge and ask her for marriage but after watching this I realised it's wrong
“You can’t force someone to cover, pray or practice their deen”
But you were wrong from the onset to have selected a wife that didn’t share Islamic values- you met her in a sheeha lounge!
You picked her for her looks, you didn’t delve into her lifestyle, you didn’t question how practicing she was or not… her deen wasn’t a priority when you chose her - seems like you’ve learnt and changed your stance in life .
I don’t think she was groomed I think she was the person she was from when you married her 😮
I wish you all the best brother - I pray you find peace in your future spouse.
May god bless you
Married Muslim Woman who want date her Manager........SubhanaAllaah
You had relationships before you married the Moroccan then you excepted a fairy tale marriage full of respect, loyalty and honestly -
Doesn’t work like that I’m afraid…
I actually run a marriage service in Morocco for about 2 years now and married off dozens of bros from UK, Australia, Canada & America. I've never experienced such a horror story.
Its the typical stories from asian brothers like this you hear all the time. But then when you really look into the whole thing you'll find its these kinda bros who go for the bad apples on the tree, have no principles in marriage, are lead and not leading, then they complain moroccan women are bad and do black magic, lol.
He married a prostitute, so you can't classify his situation as a 'normal' one
Asalam Alaikum I am looking for a wife for my son, what is the name of your marriage service Inshallah?
Indeed. Many Muslim men marry from Morocco and have had positive experiences, moreso than the negative.
There are some points to address based on this story:
- It is better to know the local language when you go to Morocco.
- when you neither know the culture nor language, in my experience, you're opening up yourself up to problems.
- One must look at the holistic factors, not just beauty and "fun with the lads" context. Sorry, but if that's the pretext then that's a recipe for disaster.
- hence, based on the above, you need to look at the family and their religiosity, traditional values etc.
- why take a young lady who has most likely not even left her town, half way around the world?! Another recipe for disaster.
- 25grand for a Waleemah/'Urs in Morocco?! Haha, anyone who paid this was totally skanked akh. That's a red flag. The average mahr/sdaq in Morocco, which evidently this bre didn't know, is around £300. However, in Morocco the 'Urs can be expensive among the non-religious and non-traditional people.
- a religious lady would not demand or expect 25grand to be spent on a wedding. Her making "high demands" is a red flag bro.
- it is evident from this case that the eyes were open from what she saw of money. She then abandoned ship after arriving into the UK and had increased access to what was previously out of her reach.
One has to be careful when getting married Morocco. The spouse selection has to be based on deen, akhlaaq and traditional values from the outset. If not, then it's a recipe for disaster. No one to blame here but the bre himself.
not a "lol" matter...
Bro, stop blaming everybody else and start blaming yourself and your wife She is old enough to understand what she’s getting herself into and what she is doing if she really loved you she would have not done the things that she done and she be a proper wife to you
Exactly I was saying the same thing, he blamed the office guy and the other friend from Morocco as the downfall, yet the brother had zero leadership in the marriage and his ex-wife had no respect for him at all, it was a marriage based purely on impulse and look at the end result... Sigh.
She’s too young to understand what love is for a man .
Exactly he blames the manager over himself
Hes keep saying , she was groomed😮 she exactly knew wot she was doing. He was to nice to her
met her at a shisha bar? really?
He forgave her after intimate messages between her and the manager??? I'm sorry but this man brought this all onto himself. She 10000% slept with her manager, no doubt about it. He had wishful thinking and wanted to convince himself it couldn't be true. You reap what you sow.
Yeh she got her cheeks clapped and this guy was begging her to come back. What a simp
He exudes a lack of authority and masculine assertiveness. She was probably a good looking Maghribi girl. I've done the Moroccan thing many times. West African women are feisty and quickly lose respect for a weak guy. Now, she might just have been total wrong 'un or he might have mistreated her (we'll never know). But the chances are he fell for the wiles of an attractive girl but didn't have the masculine traits to keep her.
I agree. Morocco is North Africa by the way 😂
It's not just morrocans. Women in general are attracted to strong assertive men. A man who sets boundaries. A men who leads
Unfortunately you're not going to find halal wife material in a haram environment such as a shisha bar. The brother messed up from the get-go.
The host is also demonstrating his own ignorance. The verse "there is no compulsion" applies to non-muslims. As for observing correct hijab, it is an obligation on the husband to enforce it, nothing about giving choices to the wife, by virtue of being an obligation from Allah and ultimately, Allah will question the husband about it due to being her guardian.
It all goes back to the importance of gaining islamic knowledge and knowing halal from haram.
Hopefully someone can get this message to the brother, but if this entire ordeal led you to becoming closer to Allah and finally praying your daily prayers consistently - then that was the blessing of this test. You will look back and be grateful that this is what it took for you to turn back to prayer and servitude to Allah. She was only a piece to the puzzle.
From watching the full episode, this brother has a lot to learn. The marriage was on impulse as he only knew the girl for 2mths and got hitched, he deffo needed more time considering he was in a relationship with some one for 6yrs priorz also a Shisha lounge is deffo not a place to meet your future wife but that shows in turn what kinda lifestyle this brother had or attracted to. Additionally the loss of his parents had a big effect and since most of his sisters were married it was the case of.When is your turn? and some parents on their deathbed or not emotionally blackmail their children to get married just because of whatever and that's not the way to go. Also he was very naive to think that if the girl side paid for the wedding she would be more reluctant to stay, but that's not always true, also he discussed about her wearing a hijabi after he got married that's something that should have been done before. He should have confronted the manager guy much better and the other dork the girl had as a male best friend, all should have been established before hand.Seriously he needed to do better vetting of her around 6-12mths is good, unfortunately this brother is the victim of his own demise, him saying the other guys were the downfall of his marriage is not entirely true, I would say is 95% this guy's fault, I hope now he can take a few steps back learn from this. the guy has money and good status, but even men in his position can still fail at this game.
Let’s not forget that everyone makes mistakes. What he has done is something that he can’t take it back. There is no one that would say he or she hasn’t had a mistake and we will still keep making mistakes as it is in the human nature but we learn from it. We shouldn’t be judging his past actions but to wish him well and hope he learned a lot because anyone in his shoes will understand that it is not as easy as it sounds to get away from situations like this. Plus don’t blame a nation just on one person action, as this can happen to anyone and anywhere. Y’all need to take it easy on this brother. May Allah guide him and protect him and his family. Good thing he is coming back to Allah.
All of this could be avoided only if the aunties had done the vetting of this Lady. All her red flags would be pretty clear before marriage.
That’s why get it vetted by aunties.
U act like aunties are smart lol they get fooled by a niqab so easy
Brothers look for a woman who is a practising Muslimah God-fearing and fears Allah ﷻ don't matter which country they are from, this should be the criteria.
35k gets into people's heads big time. It's such a sadistic world we live in.
Sorry, but this is not a good example to present. Many Muslim men marry from Morocco and have had positive experiences, moreso than the negative.
There are some points to address based on this story:
- It is better to know the local language when you go to Morocco.
- when you neither know the culture nor language, in my experience, you're opening up yourself up to problems.
- One must look at the holistic factors, not just beauty and "fun with the lads" context. Sorry, but if that's the pretext then that's a recipe for disaster.
- hence, based on the above, you need to look at the family and their religiosity, traditional values etc.
- why take a young lady who has most likely not even left her town, half way around the world?! Another recipe for disaster.
- 25grand for a Waleemah/'Urs in Morocco?! Haha, anyone who paid this was totally skanked akh. That's a red flag. The average mahr/sdaq in Morocco, which evidently this bre didn't know, is around £300. However, in Morocco the 'Urs can be expensive among the non-religious and non-traditional people.
- a religious lady would not demand or expect 25grand to be spent on a wedding. Her making "high demands" is a red flag bro.
- it is evident from this case that the eyes were open from what she saw of money. She then abandoned ship after arriving into the UK and had increased access to what was previously out of her reach.
One has to be careful when getting married Morocco. The spouse selection has to be based on deen, akhlaaq and traditional values from the outset. If not, then it's a recipe for disaster. No one to blame here but the bre himself.
Smartest comment here ✅✅
Akhi is 1200 too much then to give as a mahr to a righteous sister from there? I thought it was reasonable for a ring because im here lol but now I'm thinking it might be too much. She is happy with anything akhi but I thought let me try my best. And honor her because ALLHummabariklaha she is a woman of deen.
@@prioritisingprofit As-salaamu alaykum akh. Listen, see what is the average among the practising bres in the city for Mahr ('Sdaq'). I sounds like a lot still. But see what is the average among the practising brothers in the location, then you may want to give a bit more than that if you like. But I'd stick with the average.
My cousin brother had a similar situation when he got his wife from India. I got married in India and I find out that my ex-wife married me for the visa only.
These girls from abroad are too risky to marry now
Not always . The treatment women get from British spouses is horrible and same goes to men who come here on spouse visa. Life becomes miserable for most people and they are not left with any choice except for divorce.. there is always a story from other side too. Simply putting blame on one party isn’t fair. But one should be wise enough to bring their spouses from good background
True...not all of them are bad. But some things you only find out after you get married. These stories are happening way too often
The issue isn't international marriage. The issue is respect and understanding.
TRUTH IS HE CHOSE BADLY..........HE MISUNDERSTOOD HER......HEADSCARF MEANS LITTLE....LOOK AT BEHAVIOR FIRST.........I LOVE YOUR WORK PODCAST...LEARN SO MUCH.....
Seems like a nice guy but annoyingly stupid. That’s probably why she didn’t respect him.
Stop victim blaming ! People take advantage of nice guys / women and thats the way of the world . Kindness is a underrated virtue that seen as weakness to many !
@@chonrahman8334 Thank you - Appreciate it
Be a nice guy but to an extent.
Have self respect and self worth. The minute she first goes on cinema trip with boss alone is a problem we’re she either leaves the job or alarm bells should be ringing.
Pick your wife VERY carefully as we learned from this brother..... glad he's in a better place now
Man this guy is wildly delusional its sad, even now he's making excuses for her behaviour and blaming the manager. Your wife was presenting herself as a single girl and was probably complaining to the guy about how grossed out she is by you.
OMG MAN ITS SO HARD TO WATCH AS THE VIDEO CONTINUES HE BLAMES EVERYONE BUT HER AND HIMSELF and still doesn't think he was a passport bro or acknowledge that he couldn't let her go coz he was overly attached and dependent
> You both expect your wives to work to help pay towards a life in London. Yet you both claim to have an ‘expensive’ lifestyle. The world is bigger than London.
> if you can look after yourself, pay your own bills looking after an extra person ie your wife, who would coincidentally be sharing a bed with you, and would not require you to upsize- there’s no reason why you couldn’t continue paying for the bills
> there is more to life than ‘quick breaks’ and ‘resort holidays’, being a supporting backbone of the family home will be more credible
> what happens when your wife falls pregnant and must take care of your child? Do you plan on living off her maternity allowance? Or is she now worthy of being taken care of as she’s been promoted to position of ‘mother of your child’
> in Mizan’s words, mirror mirror on the wall would I marry myself at all 🙄
Well said 🙏🙏, you’re right. I did say ‘hyperbole’ but I respect what you’re saying nevertheless. “
Just to clarify, I don’t expect them to work, I was just saying ‘speaking generally’ and as a representative, most men in this era can’t afford to run a household on one income unfortunately.
Ps. People living in council housing may be the exception. But you can’t go around saying I retired my wife but getting benefits. I’m talking about people having to rent property or even paying a mortgage. It’s impossible for the masses.
Mirror Mirror” haha forgot about that!
Thanks for engaging and I appreciate the insightful comment.
When you're on a spouse visa , you're not entitled to any benefits from the government.
Exactly my thoughts. It is simply ridiculous.
He needs to move on with his life and not speak about this anymore. Lesson learnt
Womans lose interest so quickly in her husband when she gets a green signal from someone else
The brother needs to have a chat with Mahdi Tidjani. May Allah guide him and grant him success.
He needs to react to this
People true character show when things go bad , MasAllah he has such a good heart . May Allah reward you ❤
What married woman 51:47 would spend all day talking to a single man. It's like you want everyone else to take responsibility for her bad actions.
I think the combined trauma's the borther went through led him to being susceptible to falling for her tricks. Wallah brother if you're reading this just know we support and make dua for you to find a righteous wife and a beautiful family. Yes, there was mistakes on your part when it came to vetting but take this as a lesson learnt do not dwell on these comments which may bash you with no benefit given. I commend you for being able to share your story and hope Allah increases you in good.
I agree 100% with you
Brother chose a wrong women subhanaAllah, happens bro, jazkakAllah khayr for sharing so other brothers are warned from the get go
That’s what our show is about 🙏. Thanks for you thoughts
It's her choice, but is was HIS choice to Marry her or not A "headscarf" does not = "covering up", or hijab. Hijab is a barrier of all parts of the awra and is also state of mind. And there is plenty 'Islamic' 'evidence, when it comes to choosing a proper spouse. The host has no right to atatck the comment section. We are stating facts. Sadly, many people ignore red flags or fail to look at their mistakes...
Muslim or not Muslim, people make mistakes and no one is perfect and we should not judge.
Sad seeing some horrible comments on both episodes when in fact you should be sending Duas to him and his family and not talking bad about him.
He has gone through a lot of losing his loved ones. He is a good guy 100% and very brave for sharing everything.
Absolutely, thank you for your humane words 🙏
to be naive is not good.
@@Silentmajority-podcast Thank you 🙏
@mrzyad906 but it doesn't deserve the nasty comments.
Love the way you called out these keyboard warriors.. They should be ashamed of themselves.
The guys who state facts that she was a hooker are the only real ones and don't mince there words
@@rja478 They're the ones who've been around the block and 'cinq cinq' etc
And this is why Nabi Muhammad sala Allahu alayhi wa salam said: Marry a woman based on her DEEN.
Source: Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (May Allah exalt his mention and protect him from imperfection) said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!”. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Im a little confused how a married women can be groomed brother? She is an adult. You are too kind, thats all.
Maybe your ex wife knew your weekness thats why she kept threatening to leave you. Lots of red flags having male friends and hanging out with them as muslim. I guess she wasnt practicing deen thats why all the issue.
Wallahi a woman tells me she’s got male friends and it’s door closed
His got feminist mentality