My Wife Is Done Trying to Fix Our Marriage (What Now?)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ค. 2024
- My Wife Is Done Trying to Fix Our Marriage (What Now?)
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Sounds like the husband of my friend who is divorcing. A little too calm and trying to sound logical. Nope. John is definitely spot on calling him out. My friend's issue with her husband is that she's told him too many times that his anger issues has her on edge all the time and that she can't deal with it any longer. She's given him so many chances, and he never has managed to control his anger. So, she said no more and is filing for divorce ... finally!
Living on the edge like that, jumping at your own shadow, will destroy you. Ruin your health mentally and physically. If he doesn't make it FIRST priority to seek help, he is actively wrecking you.
Yep thats exactly why my last relationship ended. 4 years (4!!!) of trying to communicate that his anger issues would be the death of the relationship. Finally left October of last year because i simply did not have it in me to try any longer.
Now he claims he 'finally gets it' but even if I did believe that it's too late. My nervous system is absolutely fried.
This was recorded about 4 weeks ago. It took about 4 weeks from submitting my question to getting on the show. When I originally submitted the question, it was supposed to go in more of a direction of how can I stay strong for myself while trying to give my wife space to breathe. Literally the night before this call, my marriage essentially was declared officially over. I was not in the right headspace for this call. I can promise you I am almost always much more vibrant and available than I was during this call. I was pretty much in crisis mode.
So now, four weeks later, I've had a some more time to heal, to grieve, to assess my situation. I wish I could have this call back. I was looking forward to a serious, lighthearted covnersation with John. I'm still in the thick of it, but not to the extent I was this day.
To address some of the comments, I do have hobbies. I do have loads of friends and family that love me. I really have done a lot of work the past few years expanding myself and my passions. I've travelled to Europe twice (Spring of 2022 and Spring of 2023), I've built race cars with my brother, I joined a sand volleyball league and made one of my best friends in the process. I've been working on being more present in the moment. Being more available for my wife. I couldn't think to highlight these things on the call because I was so distraught. I was having a conversation with John that was essentially already in the past. I really did work hard on myself, but it was too little too late, and she decided she wanted out.
I appreciate John's time, this call was on me. Maybe one day I can get on again and have a more connected and personal call. Just wasn't my day that day. Live and learn!
Wishing you the best!
I'm sorry about your marriage, I hope that you can find peace in the midst of your storm. Loss of a marriage is a hard thing to go through 😢
Lol...John forgot to tell you to stay out of the comments. Ive been where you are. Until she finds her "happiness", your life is gonna suck. And most likely, the first step in her finding that happiness is leaving you behind. Quit being a simp and be ready.
Woman’s perspective. You seem sweet and analytical. And that sometimes leads to anxiety and ruminations. Take her at her word. She wanted out. She’s not the right one. Take your time, go to a therapist, live your life eat healthy, do exercise, go out with friends (male ones may be best right now), eventually go out with women but see if it can a platonic friendship. Basically get to see other women without the sex and the demands of a relationship but in order to enjoy the time, and the presence as a friend and fellow human. And eventually with time, with healing, without pressure of society date if you want or not. Don’t let society tell you when you should be ready. You will find someone else but with time and patience. Divorce sucks but it’s not the end of the world once you’ve managed it. Cares and hugs!
Well, at least you have your answer on where your marriage is. Hearing it's over was surely extremely hard but better than being in limbo. I wish you well and hope you find peace of mind and a good partner (if that's what you want).
When you finally reach that line .....you are DONE. A friend of mine was married for 25 years. All those years she put up with his maniac depression, job hopping, excuses, he would just sit and listen to his music all day, was only able to complete working around the house if she left him a list. Kids were grown and gone. She was done !!
She was the bread winner, the motivator, the initiator and was sick of crap for 25 years.
She filed for divorce and left.
The people in church kept telling him .........she will come home, she will think about what she did, she will.......fill in the blank. She was DONE with the crap, the excuses, the depression, the anxiety and the entire marriage of SHE gets to hold down the marriage.
I don't blame her for leaving !!
Really sickening that she had to do all the work and the church just blames
I swear that when someone is going through a hard time, they tend to blame all their life’s problems on this one thing/person or many. But they fail to look at themselves.
I felt I was pretty introspective at the very least. I'm more than aware of my own faults.
@@HeavyMetalMonkey I was not blaming you.
@@HeavyMetalMonkey You definitely were being honest about your issues. I didn't hear you speak badly about or blame your wife. Time to stop reading the armchair, judgmental therapists and move on. I'll be keeping you in my prayers for healing. Be well, be happy, be blessed.
As a fellow therapist who has enjoyed your show since it became a thing, I can honestly say I don’t think you have ever so immediately, so perfectly, flipping preternaturally, nailed exactly what was up with a caller. Great process commentary too! I hope he is able to GIT and sprint towards being alive.
I love the distiction between the lived change versus the clinical thought (and speaking through) process. You really have to leave theory behind you at some point.
Some never do.
I can definitely tell where the caller didn’t feel he got his true situation across properly. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault and nothing caller can or could have done. Sometimes the wife (or partner in general) is just done. Sometimes 2 people just realize they are not meant for one another. And that’s ok. Sending caller the best of wishes and happiness and understanding
This is exactly the case. I really struggled to just be present. My analytical brain took completely over. Thank you.
I don’t agree with this..
@@Itsme-jl9rvrespectfully, no one asked for your negative opinion
You’re being very judgmental and not helping the situation in anyway. So refrain from releasing your narrow minded opinion
If you genuinely cared to help and did it with love , that would be a whole different conversation.
But it’s not.
Don’t be an instigator
Lord forbid this happens to you. You’d be humbled real quick
So keep your mouth closed unless you want the same thing happening to you.
Which honestly, would be a great lesson for you
@@SheisRedeemed Well done.
Thank you, thank you Dr. D. Looping around and not addressing the tough issues directly (my partner seems incapable of directness or dealing with any conflict) has driven me crazy.
I am done. But I have to give this gentleman credit, even with the “conversation-looping “ behavior. What do you do when your partner won’t even have the conversation?!?
The anxiety part you explained here was much needed for me to here, thank you John!💯
I can completely see why she’s ready to go. It’s just so much mental work. Bless his heart. 😢
I guess vows mean nothing.
They meant nothing to him
Good for her, she deserves a life of peace and happiness
@@madisonandthefarmlol nobody DESERVES anything. You have to work for what you want
@@jeremycosby7316 She stayed for decades with a man who doesn't give a crap about her. She deserves a chance to be happy like she gave him for all those years while he ignored her.
Anxiety _can_ be caused by a lack of magnesium! _Please,_ talk with your physician & pharmacist, maybe get your bloodwork annalized & do some research? This here is the 1st thing that pops up when searching "Magnesium & anxiety":
"Magnesium can help with keeping our neurotransmitters from over-firing & making anxiety worse. According to Dr. Austerman, it does this by blunting the release of glutamate - the excitatory neurotransmitter - and helping release GABA, the inhibitory neurotransmitter. Nov 27, 2023"
Please, don't stop trying to figure out the why instead of simply accepting that, "I guess, THIS is just the way that I am & I'm stuck this way." You aren't broken you need some help perhaps, some different help? Good luck to you man. No matter what happens you'll find a way to survive & eventually thrive. 🍀🤞
It sounds like John is asking him "When is NOW the right time to take action."
Man, this was a tough call to listen to. I hope the caller takes the time to really digest this whole conversation…
Ever notice how these men dealing with divorce or anxiety have zero macho in their voice? Glad I got some bass.
This sounds a lot like me where my wife has told me how she needs to be loved and I have told her how I need to be loved and we are both terrified of going all in because what if the other person doesn't go all in themselves and you start looking at your relationship like it's a project and instead of being recklessly vulnerable because you've been vulnerable in the past and you've gotten burned and it's a really hard mindset to overcome but you know what you need to do and you know you just got to do it
I don’t understand how you can marry someone and still be afraid to try to save your relationship. You made a HUGE commitment to go all in when you said your vows. Just do it
She has been trying and gave up, he just checked in with panic button but it's to late.
It has to start with someone though. Logically speaking. Wouldn't you rather find out now than waste time being scared you may lose someone. How can you have a chance if someone doesn't start it. And when after you start it then you have to keep going. Because the other person is going to need time to believe you. That's just fact. Results aren't instant. All feelings aside someone has to start and when you start keep going.
The hell are you even married for????
This sounds soooooo much like my ex husband. He let his past and unresolved traumas get in the way of his decision making, which left me to take care of everyone. Mix that with a lack of boundaries and spiritual abuse and man… I know where that wife is. I know how she feels. I’m glad hubby is asking the right questions though, though it may be too late. I hope they both learn to grow to become everything they can be.
Oh man this poor guy is my ex husband. He totally spun out of control after I left. I hope that doesn’t happen to him. John gave great advice if he will take it.
All advice taken. I'm entering scary territory but I'm in a better place today than I was on this call. I have a massive support system, both internally and externally.
Whyd you leave
@@Thesussysuscat My husband needed help and he got it too late. I gave up on him, my life was passing me by and I needed to move on.
@@cassiegalbraith9089life is too short
Damn, calling him out on TH-cam 👌🏻
He’s too much in his head, talks to much. He needs a sport, a hobby, a gym membership. He needs some passion.
Bigass therapy speak.
I sort of felt like this call was a little bit all over the place
Yeah that was on me.
Sometimes people need meds in the short term just so they can get therapy
Pretty good advice I didn’t see coming
Poor guy, he sounds sweet. He just needs to focus on himself and who he wants to be. Time to move forward
Complimenting the Deftones shirt 🤘
This dude is stuck in analysis paralysis … and it’s exhausting for everyone else who tries to have relationship with him.
She is tired.
You nailed it.
Maybe I'm burned but I hear excuses
Not everything is someones fault. The wife can just be done.
If that is the case, don’t get married. Marriage is a vow “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”. If you are the type of person who is “just done” then maybe don’t get married. Not referring to you specifically, just in general. People who are divorcing because they are “just done” are ruining marriage.
@@KendraSmith087 if a woman says she’s done it is after asking for years for changes and being ignored.
@@KendraSmith087exactly
Yes, for a reason. Everything has a reason
@@KendraSmith087humans are always going to be ignorant and naive. That's all a part of the process. It's better to just know that you aren't and enjoy that about yourself and let others do what they do.
Great video! It’s not always so clear cut when men stray to feel something other than sex!
This man sounds on the spectrum. And that destroys more marriages than anything I've seen.
Nope
@@HeavyMetalMonkey 3 of my best friends are going through the exact same marriage problems right now because husband is Aspie/autistic and she's neuro-typical and they can NOT get on the same page. So, say "nope" all you like.
@@thejakelegion He is the calller
@@thejakelegion I am not on the spectrum. I think you're projecting your personal experience onto others. How in the world could you get that I'm on the spectrum from ONE conversation?
@@HeavyMetalMonkeyit can be that easy and you might be undiagnosed
This conversation felt a bit off to me. Both with the caller and with Dr John. Idk but I seems to me that this person is (or was) very much is the thick of fight, flight or freeze from all the anxiety.
I do agree as someone who lives with GAD that radical acceptance for your own well being helps manage you when it comes to anxiety. However the other side of the coin is having people around you that can create space for you when you need it to do that.
Maybe your spouse just isn’t able to do that. Which in fairness is fine she doesn’t need to but clearly that’s not the kind of person they need to be partners with. Doesn’t make her a bad person just seems like it’s not in her ability to do.
Either way I hope you continue too seek help, find a good therapist who does CBT and also a good group of friends and loved ones who can hold space for you rn so that you can feel like you are able to make the necessary changes for you too stop being passive in your life and for you too have the confidence to take the wheel. Sending lots of positive energy your way and hers as well.
He's having lots of conversations Except, he's having those conversations with the wrong person (his therapist) when he should be having them with his wife
Deftones shirt gives me Faith in Dr. John.
My divorce was expensive and unpleasant. My lawyer told me worst case 18K. I tried to minimize how much time I engaged her out of cost awareness -- after 23K and she wanted another 15K we weren’t yet even to mediation I fired her. The next lawyer was 12K before it was over. So 35K for the divorce, plus 4000 for experts.
A friend spent only $500. I know contested divorce is expensive but this is crazy
We sold the investment property. She kept the house. I kept the cash. She got 60 percent of our networth. I pay monthly maintenance for 2.5 years. In short it was super expensive and I was broke for many months. Luckily I bounced back via an investment i had put my inheritance in earlier. My life is so much better now without her so it was totally worth it
I recently inherited some money, I've got quarter million to invest, but I want to ensure profits. Love to know what you put your money in
Initially I had badly invested my money in LIC and had no SIPs in my portfolio. My returns took a positive turn when I employed the services of my financial advisor Anne Marie I Invested in Debt funds, started crypto trading and started liquid funds as well.
She also re-adjusts my portfolio every year for better returns.
You should check her out
𝖨𝗇𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗋𝖺𝗆
Just let her go. Being in a relationship while having anxiety is torture.
I think he'll have anxiety without her.....
@@blueravenchick But it’s one less thing to worry about while he tries to get help and so he’s not draining her soul.
Yes free her from this weak defeated man
SAME IN HERE😢😂 IM DONE FOR GOOD AND FOREVER I WANT TO LIVE AND ENJOY LIFE, I AM PRAYING TO GOD TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH THAT I NEED IT, PLEASE GOD.
Anxiety = God gave you an abundance of energy to care about something. Extra energy = extra caring. If we don’t care we aren’t anxious. Try to be curious about what it is you care so much about and why. Embrace the extra energy and aim it where God wants to use it. Otherwise it becomes unnecessarily negative.
Yes!!! 🙌
He will find someone who will enjoy this type of personality. My wife would love for me to be dispassionate like this but I'm more like the caller's wife. I need excitement, I need passion, I need romance. I need both people to be like that. There are plenty of people out there. Do some healing and keep going. Make sure you're more compatible the next go round. Plenty of fish in the sea, people make the mistake to think that partners are not interchangeable. We are. It can get messy but don't lose hope.
I think the wife needs to hear him fight for his marriage. Part of him has been skating along far too long. I hope it can be saved, and I hope he fights for it, and doesn't stop.
Listen to video again. Caller basically friend-zoned his wife from wedding night on forward. He just was never physically attracted to his wife, but he was too cowardly to go after what he really wanted. This divorce will be best for both of them.
@jeromehenry4484 this is all patently false.
@@HeavyMetalMonkey So you didn't have a sexless marriage? What did you mean at 1:15 - 1:50? Why didn't you challenge Deloney's statements at 2:21 and 5:04-5:50, regarding sexless marriage? Asking for clarity because that was the tone of video. It did sound like you clicked as a couple in other areas, so that helped to maintain your marriage as long as it did.
Anyone question how much porn and masterbation he did because HE friended his wife??
He can’t even say SEX. How could he possibly have it?
Exactly.
At the first of the video, John says it’s never too late. Then 10 minutes later, it may be too late. Ha ha ha
Lol!!!! John had his number immediately. 8:09 i was thinking this guy was tedious as well
I nodded off during this one. What happened in the end?
Nothing. They're done.
Yeah sounds like she’s done. She looked at the future and knew she didn’t want it. The positive is it shouldn’t be too complicated. No kids, sell the house if there is one, split whatever. Hopefully he gets all the help he needs and has a good future relationship.
If a woman decides to leave there is little you can do about. Except get the best Divorce lawyer money can buy. And remember you have to pay for her lawyer too. Good luck chap.
If you're not willing/able to be the masculine side of the relationship the woman will lose interest. They may put up with it for a little while...but, eventually, they will lose interest!!
And you don't need to find yourself. You need to create your future self!
Men gotta be men!!! Lol!!
bad advice near the end.. I’m getting divorced from someone with NPD and I started rock climbing on a daily basis. Funneling all of that pain into a new skill is awesome; now I feel better about myself which makes me stronger throughout adversity and for my daughter
Sex is the best part? Never mind the stability, the finances, the future...WHAT????!!!
Females putting no stock in sex? Shocker.
For most of us, yes… sex is the most fun, intimate, and bonding part. I’m sorry if you haven’t experienced that 😢
Yeah when you're 20. At some point other things become more important, like when you start burying your parents. Life doesn't always fun.@@scorpification
@@elainenilsson5472weird take
Good luck getting through life putting fun first.@@scorpification
Sounds like he’s not doing anything to treat his anxiety and manage his symptoms. He says he wants to work on the marriage but he hasn’t separated his marriage from his symptoms, so until he does that, he’s putting it on his wife to manage his symptoms.
He needs to just go on meds and re set his brain. Helped me
Need some help with dealing with a wife with dementia, and when do I call it quicks? Married for over 50 years. Just need another view point. Thanks!
Isn't marriage for better, for worse, in sickness and in health?
I know firsthand how difficult alzheimers is, but that's your wife, man. What do you mean, call it quits?
I thought several times to walk out but would never do that to my wife. Likely, I have a strong support group at church. Every day I have to turn it over to the Lord. @@scroogemcduckismyspiritanimal
make this difficult decision for yourself. but speaking generally - honor your wife. honor your vows. you wont just find happiness after bailing. re-frame this. you might need to seek a component of life that you need like something that adds excitement or connection. but bailing on your wife wont solve it. i can see your feelings and its tough with dementia and being married 50years. but from my view, leaving wont bring happiness alone. whatever you decide.... i wish you and your wife wellness
Hello neighbor.
Please don’t quit on her now. But also don’t let her painful condition consume your life. You need some friends and family to share the load. And you’ll need to take breaks from her and her care.
But I took care of my Dad when he was dying, and I did it joyfully out of gratitude for his sacrifice for me. Find a way to finish well and complete the journey. God bless, I have no idea how hard and painful that must be.
You might need to put her in long term care. But please keep loving her.
I want to call Dr J just to say navigate
She can't be the one alone responsible for fixing the marrisge
Go get your wife. I love that 💞
If he had these anxiety issues, why get married and ruin someone else’s life. How selfish.
What should he do, stop living?
If someone asked me everyday how can I love you today I’d say by leaving me alone. Cringe.
This marriage stuff sounds fun ....😂🤣😂🤣😂
Why do people call when their spouse want divorce. Take a hint. Get divorce. And move on. You're wife is burnt out.
This comment section shows a severe lack of empathy for this man and in men in general. Anxiety is a sickness, a proper disorder you can't turn it off at will. They married and said in sickness and health, and this is his sickness, but hes making efforts to improve, but that not good enough. It seems men must just be drones with no emotion and allowance for weakness.
It’s always like this lol John is always softer on women and women love it bc it’s geared towards what they want to here
Hear**
Anxiety is not a sickness. It is a choice.
@@donnasearch1 ok
Oh boah…I believe that the wife (first caller) checked out a while ago and found connection somewhere else and realized that her relationship wasn’t giving her what she needed, therefore the feeling of being trapped. I’ll be shocked if she doesn’t ask for a divorce very soon.
Question.. is there an episode of a Female caller being told the same EXACT THING. "GO GET YOUR HUSBAND."!...?
@@SarahConnor562As Therapist we are taught to approach a person by starting where they are. The approach for men and women are naturally going to be different because of that. If you have a son and a daughter you don't treat them the same. You tell your son to man up for the most part and are usually gentler with your daughter. Female physiology has the capacity for more negative emotion than male. Most women beat themselves up internally and don't usually need help with that. Hence the increased depression and anxiety women face. Men on the other hand tend to be the ostrich with the head in the sand. Hence the tendency for substance use and mindless sex to numb out. That's also why they get "blindsided" and seem to be shocked when their partner leaves even though the partner has been trying to communicate the issue with them for years. You have to use a firmer hand at times to get them moving. This is the damage modern feminism and red pill crap did to us. All of this used to be obvious just a few generations ago. Men and women are not the same so the approach is also not the same.
@@SarahConnor562 I think you missed the part in this specific call that it's the husband/caller withholding sex/intimacy/affection from his wife, basically from wedding night onward. Sounds like he married a woman he was not physically attracted to (though they were compatible on other levels).
@@SarahConnor562 You just explained the difference at the end of the statement. That is one of the differences I'm referring to. Also it's helpful to teach your daughter to use logic and reason but being emotional and feeling is not always a bad thing. There is a reason we evolved that way. We are not just men without a pecker we are nurturers and the softer sex. Men are not attraced to overly masuline women just as women are not attracked to wimps. The Ying and yang of man and women and how they come together is a beautiful thing. I am very soft and emotional at the right time with my husband and use logic and reasoning at work. I don't feel those two are in any conflict.
@@SarahConnor562 Sorry, I misunderstood your comment about wives withholding sex from their husbands (didn't realize you were speaking in generalities, not specifically this caller).
@@SarahConnor562 at some point you are going to have to accept that women are more emotional then men just as men are more aggressivethen women. You can raise your daughter to fight against her chemistry just how you teach a son to fight his aggressive chemistry but at the root of it you are fighting the default. Being aware and accepting the default allows you some measure of control. Most men can have sex devoid of emotions, for women this is much more difficult. If there is an issue or disconnect in the relationship she will struggle to have sex. Rather then brow beat the woman into just laying there and getting it over with, it is better to address the disconnect which will lead to her feeling comfortable again. Once again there are just fundamental differences between men and women so therefore the guidance is different. Anyone in the mental health field knows this. The differences can be noticed as early as 2 years old. My goal is not some misguided "fairness". My goal is to assist my clients in improving their lives.
David goggins your way through
Glad Delony doesn't work at a suicide hotline.
This conversation was mishandled. This man has anxiety. An actual handicap and the responses are just ignorant and heartless.
I wear og gangsta as an identity badge
now? you take out the checkbook
When women are done…they are done.
Tori amos?
She is already gone. She worked on the marriage until she had nothing left. He is a perfect example of too little too late.
Sure she did Donna.. because you know her and everything. Amazing.
This guy wants to put off living life in place of navel gazing.
Trust me, I know. Lol
This happened to me man. When men and women get into relationships in this culture, we as men get demasculated. We get fat and lazy with all the good times and all the alarms start going off within us giving us anxiety. She wants to continue going out with your friends while you are trying to worry about saving money and getting your life back together before it gets to a place where you can't turn back or you are in so much debt that you'll never feel like you can recover from. Or the situation you are in she can just leave you and hang you out to dry.
That's why it's so important to get a women that holds you accountable and is happy for your accomplishments. I push my man to always do better financially and physically so he can be proud of himself and look and say hell ya I did that.
@@my_slifestyle_2667 It's not stuff that a woman can help you with, that is why we end up being demasculated in the first place. Most women think they are perfect by just purely existing. Women can be 200lbs over weight and still think they are perfect 10/10, and no flaws. Those standards are not good enough for men because we are not just accepted in society just for being ourselves like women are. Men hold each other to high standards and we dont even want to be around each other in these cases, while women celebrate and lie to each other for being 200lbs over weight on FB. Men love women unconditionally and women love men conditionally, that they provide. That's why we have words like deadbeat dad, but no such word exists for terrible mothers. In our culture it's impossible for it to exist, because women are perfect princesses. When men start to take on that philosophy is how we end up fat and lazy and demasculated. Until it reaches a point where she builds resentment and leaves. She can't figure out how this guy changed, not realizing it was her who did it to him over time.
Weird that men always say women need to hold themselves accountable, but it's women's fault you stop working out and start eating too much?
What about this guy sounded masculine to begin with?
@@blueravenchick Who the hell said it was womens fault.... Can you read or you are trying to read into something that nobody said? Give me the exact quote.
Celebrate
This guy is exhausting.
She’s getting her back blown out on the side for sure
Sounds like she found another guy
Their is definitely someone coaching the wife making her decisions easy.
As there should be
A sexless marriage is a no-brainer, just end it already!
Perk up. This caller’s voice is exhausting. It sounds like the caller is depressed. Work on yourself and then invest in another relationship. If anxiety is debilitating, go to a psychiatrist. Perhaps medication could help temporarily.
Perk up. *writes that down in notebook*
When Dr John says things like homie or gangster I actually cringe. My guy you are 46 years old 😬
hes helping so many people, let the man live damn lmao
So? Homie has been around for a very long time
Um… those words existed when he was growing up. I’m 41 and homie was what was used when we were kids. OG came out when we were teens bc of the popularity of gangsta rap. Yes, gangsta rap came out in the 90s when we were teens.
So it’s well within his age to use these words. What’s cringe is you thinking you can police what words ppl can use because of your preconceived notions of them.
@ladyg3nius and it's still ghetto sounding crap
@umiluv lmao it doesn't come naturally to him. It's not that serious. I know it's been around for a long time but that doesn't mean it's not cringey coming from him. It's like a dad trying to be cool
She's sick and tired of being sick and tired 😫 Set her free for God's sake 🙄
This guy may be on the spectrum
Nope
@@SarahConnor562 fair.. he just doesnt knlw how to connect at all
*If* it is a spectrum of human behaviour then everybody is on *the spectrum.*
@@fernleafmediai mean the autistic spectrum.. but i get your point
First.
There goes John blaming the man again. If the caller was a female he would tell her that the husband would need to work with her with the anxiety
It wasn’t because he’s a guy, it was because he keep in hot talking about me, me, me and finding myself. I expect him to call out any partner that is more concerned about finding themselves than saving their marriage.
Why is the responsibility of repairing this relationship completely on the guy? How is the relationship supposed to be successful and functional with only one person agreeing to work at it? Dr. John never holds women accountable for anything. A woman can murder someone and he will find a way to blame her husband for it.
It’s not.. but he called, not her. Can’t give advice to another person to “fix it” if they don’t call in.
@cherry2110 he most definitely can advise the wife based on what he is hearing. Based on what you said, the guy should never have bothered calling in to begin with. Ladies, please, I know it's hard, but do not shy away from self reflection and accountability. Men cannot and should not be responsible for everything that goes wrong. Woman up and be a full partner full-time, not just when things are going your way.
@SarahG16925 in so many words, John told this guy to man up, which is my point, even if John didn't say it verbatim.
Lol. Because according to the caller himself the problem came from him alone.
@@SarahConnor562 I agree for the most part, but nothing wrong with men having emotions, but we don't want a whiny man-child either. Who wants to deal with someone victimizing themselves all the time?
Been through two divorces and my life improved after each of them.
Another episode of appealingbto the female audience. He could just drop her and find another; especially if he has a good income. There are more single women than men and the esrly phases of a relationship provide the easiest returns.
Most men can't financially afford to go through a divorce, let alone two of them.
@@SarahConnor562 Agreed. He needs to enjoy the honeymoon phase and move to the next one.
Why you keep picking the wrong partner? Pray for discernment
@texan903 My second divorce cost me zero. We had been living separately for two years, but still spending weekends together. Wrote our own decree that said neither person owed the other anything.
The first divorce was more tricky. I had to use the home equity and her fear of being homeless to protect my future pension. She then failed to pay about 30k in split expenses for the children. But I did get away with no child support and no impact to my retirement. Negotiate intelligently.
Sounds like you need some work in your life before you go into another marriage. You may actually be the problem, not them.
This guy lost me already 😂
John ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS gotta advocate for sex. Sex is not the best part of a relationship. Ugh! That's all yall worry about.
Can't wait to see what happens when his wife doesn't want it anymore.
This guy sounds way too comfortable in his dysfunctional behavior. Maybe he should try getting to normal and see if that works better.
Men in today's society are weak and emotional it's absolutely pathetic!!.
*taking notes*
I guarantee you she is seeing someone else. Good thing he doesn’t have kids with her.
Men always think this, but usually when women have been in a bad long term relationship with a man, they don't want another one. Men aren't that great to be with.
@@blueravenchick It’s seems more like the Men you been with are not that great to be with. Men always think this because it’s most likely true. Women always want a Man. It’s the fact that they want what they can’t have. Women are always going to see else is out there. Also they’re talking about marriage, not long term relationship.
@@blueravenchickAgree! Men assume we think like them. We don’t.
@@blueravenchickyour monkey Branch more than anything nice try though
Men always assume there is another man... instead of realizing: "No... you are the man I left, just because you are you."
I can’t listen to this so called therapist. He’s such a women pleaser. Don’t listen to him guys
she is done dude.. kick her out.. do not become an alcoholic.. find good single male friends who do not drink.. start dating.. do not ever consider marrying no matter how good the next woman is.. women are all the same.. they make emotional decisions = chaos.. marry and you will find yourself in the same shoes maybe 2,7,14 or 30 years later and it will be worse..
Keep trying man. Keep in mind females naturally want to give up at everything wen things get difficult.
Women don’t give up on real men who have confidence and live life to the fullest alongside their wives as partners on that journey. Too many men are snowflakes and weenies who live in fear of EVERYTHING!
Totally false 😂
@@SarahConnor562kitchen now
In this case, this man needs to put on his big boy pants
@@samanthav219 *true
Monkey branching is the Women's Way she is definitely seeing someone period or has cheated for sure in the past. Women find ways to justify cheating in every nook and cranny
No... often times the only man responsible is the man we left. The other man is often a projection... sometimes, YOU beat you out of a woman.