Hi candace, I love your videos. They are major part of my self healing journey. I have many childhood trauma because of my parents. But I know my parents also had very difficult childhood. They both were neglected as a child and were living in a dysfunctional family. My father has people pleasing behavior, he also shows trait of dependency. He was emotionally neglected as a child My mother avoids emotional conflicts and she has a trait of rejection. She denies whatever she doesn't like or want to hear even when she herself did that thing to me and others. She can't connect with others at emotional level. My childhood was a mess. Now I understood myself and how helpless, lost,sad I was as a kid. Now I am adult. I am dealing with my trauma and working on them. But I am not able to blame my parents for the trauma they gave to me because I know they had difficult childhood too. This causes me to feel frustrated, confused and angry. I don't want to dissociate because of this anymore. How can I tackle this? How can I deal with this? Please help. Thank you.❤❤❤❤
thanks Candace :) I've been triggered s much with my deepest wounds of unsafety (in relationships) but feeling so dissociated not knowing what to do, how to feel or where to go. comfort first :) this is a good one! X
❤I think of a safe place. Only I know about. Even a safe adult I had in my life as a child. That I hold that safe adult in my hand. She was a living angel.
Let's say I had poor quality emotional mirroring and i feel avoidant of connection because i get triggered and Project this mirroring trauma will happen again. Is This self soothing one way I can heal this wound or there are other more specific practices?? Thank you. ❤
SELF SOOTHE,.. MEDITATION,.. the same thing. Meditation is so very cut and neat compared to other things. It is free, instantly accessible and private. No one sees you in your baseball pants out on the field rocking away.
Masturbation is a way of self soothing but can ruin your sex life. Cos you get used to your own touch to make yourself feel good to avoid negative feelings that no-one elses touch compares. But then sex doesnt feel as good as masturbation, cos youre using masturbation to negate negative feelings and sex with another person doesnt compare. Youre basically using masturbation as a trauma response and becoming self sufficient in all the wrong ways that wont benefit a relationship. Just something to be conscious of if you have problems. A psychosexual therapist will help u work through it all and get u bk to feeling your feelings and keeping sex serprate. Peace.
Hi candace, I love your videos. They are major part of my self healing journey.
I have many childhood trauma because of my parents. But I know my parents also had very difficult childhood.
They both were neglected as a child and were living in a dysfunctional family.
My father has people pleasing behavior, he also shows trait of dependency. He was emotionally neglected as a child
My mother avoids emotional conflicts and she has a trait of rejection. She denies whatever she doesn't like or want to hear even when she herself did that thing to me and others. She can't connect with others at emotional level.
My childhood was a mess. Now I understood myself and how helpless, lost,sad I was as a kid.
Now I am adult. I am dealing with my trauma and working on them. But I am not able to blame my parents for the trauma they gave to me because I know they had difficult childhood too.
This causes me to feel frustrated, confused and angry. I don't want to dissociate because of this anymore.
How can I tackle this? How can I deal with this? Please help.
Thank you.❤❤❤❤
thanks Candace :) I've been triggered s much with my deepest wounds of unsafety (in relationships) but feeling so dissociated not knowing what to do, how to feel or where to go. comfort first :) this is a good one! X
Yes!!!!
❤I think of a safe place. Only I know about. Even a safe adult I had in my life as a child. That I hold that safe adult in my hand. She was a living angel.
Beautiful
You’re on a roll!
Haha thank you!!
Ah nice comfort is a great way to put it. One way I used to see it is doing what i'd want an ideal partner to do for me.
This is very wise!
So helpful, thank you, Candace!! ❤
It’s my pleasure!!!
I like your shirt. My own Savior. That is an Iced Earth song. Powerful message in and of itself.
Awww thank you 🙏🏻
This is helpful. Thank you
Very welcome
Let's say I had poor quality emotional mirroring and i feel avoidant of connection because i get triggered and Project this mirroring trauma will happen again. Is This self soothing one way I can heal this wound or there are other more specific practices??
Thank you. ❤
SELF SOOTHE,.. MEDITATION,.. the same thing. Meditation is so very cut and neat compared to other things. It is free, instantly accessible and private. No one sees you in your baseball pants out on the field rocking away.
🙌🏻
❤
❤️✨
Masturbation is a way of self soothing but can ruin your sex life. Cos you get used to your own touch to make yourself feel good to avoid negative feelings that no-one elses touch compares. But then sex doesnt feel as good as masturbation, cos youre using masturbation to negate negative feelings and sex with another person doesnt compare.
Youre basically using masturbation as a trauma response and becoming self sufficient in all the wrong ways that wont benefit a relationship. Just something to be conscious of if you have problems. A psychosexual therapist will help u work through it all and get u bk to feeling your feelings and keeping sex serprate. Peace.
Masturbation is a great safety valve. That is the right word, safety valve.