Rhett's Spiritual Deconstruction
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024
- Even through some emotionally torturous times, it all came down to uncovering the truth. Listen to Rhett reveal all about his spiritual journey and the evolution of his beliefs in this episode of Ear Biscuits!
EB #226, Original Release Date: 02/03/2020
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When he said "I dont know what happens after I die but I'm more interested in what happens while I'm alive... this life is the only thing I know for certain that I've got" I was like DAMN
Owen Weiss I started crying there
“Wo unto those who say, ‘Yeah, eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die... and if it be that we are found lacking God shall beat us with a few stripes and at last we shall be saved.” (Paraphrased) Almost no one is ambiguous about having this life, what faith and some actual study will do is produce answers beyond what’s right in front of you nose. The YOLO argument has been made a million times biblically and at present, and it’s just as idiotic now as it was then.
Its the only ONLY logical way to live, and any other way is pure idiocy and possible ignorance. Pure idiocy to assume there is an afterlife. We dream of such a wonder because we do not wish to cease to exist. We wish to live on forever. Life is its own divinity, do not waste it on imaginary friends. Use your life to heighten the lives of those you can influence on a day to day. Live on forever in the thoughts and hearts of the people whos lives you've made better, and by proxy, their offspring whos life was made better for it.
If there is a god, I am disappointed, could not and would not accept his invitation to be anywhere near him. If there is an omnipotence that allows life as it is, it disgusts me. Let there be a heaven, I choose any other option, with purpose.
Daniel Van Oaks III
Well, there isn’t a shred of evidence for an afterlife and mountains of evidence against the claims of all religions... so making the best out of this life is the only reasonable option.
But if you need religion as a crutch and would harm others or off yourself then please continue believing.😉
Damn obvious?
“Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.”
― Haruki Murakami
Wow, I love this, I will try to live up to it.
Thank you for this
Some peoples reality can be dangerous to others though..
@@HetVarken yes. Still, be kind. It'll help them grow. If you aren't kind, they might retreat to their dangerous reality again.
@@silversalmon9909 great point. A good example is Daryl Davis
"The truth had to be more important than my ideology." That is wisdom.
So true. Shame that many people equate their own belief with truth when those aren't necessarily the same thing.
What you said is very true!
So, Is God real or is he just an ideology that people make up in their head to believe so they can feel good or worse use to control people?
Is God real?
What makes what those scientists say be truth, INSTEAD of what God says in the Bible?
It takes more faith 💁🏻♀️ to believe that ALL OF CREATION came together in all of its beauty and complexity by chance over time than to simply believe that an intelligent All powerful God created and designed it all and orchestrated it all.
Uh huh!
yep, once you get to that realization, the "belief" part can no longer be of much comfort and really becomes a liability.
@@marialamb6781 I don't think your comment is really deserving of a conversation as this misled rhetoric has been used countless times before. Nothing anyone could possibly say, no amount of explanation of the complete history of life and how it evolved, and how we know these things as facts, could convince you of anything other than what you already believe. Plus you said life is random and you believe in intelligent design, so you're really a lost cause at this point. It's not worth deconstructing your point of view and refuting your claims. I just encourage you to educate yourself.
But can one's ideology justify the the existence of truth? That is a question, it seems, that Rhett has never asked himself.
Rhett. I cried. "Hopeful agnostic", me too. So open, so honest, so noble. I really appreciate you.
I've been there. Personally, I've found a lot of peace through exploring philosophy. Taoism, cynicism, and absurdism have all been fascinating to learn about. I don't treat them as doctrine, but rather comforting and engaging ideas. I wish you the best in your journey.
I feel like this should be a term cause that's me too
I have always had questions like: What is "nothing" or "eternity" really like no matter what you believe, after you die? Where do you go? And of course, it wasn't long until the answers I was given at my Christian school did not suffice (nothing against Christian schools... it was a bubble, but majority a lovely, close-knit, and generative community... But Im sure you understand my insatiable urge to "look over the wall"...) And these questions I believe every human being capable of reasoning struggle with deep down in their souls. There are so many things beyond our (humanity's) knowledge (Truth is stranger than fiction since fiction must derive from truths...) But in the illusion of technology (which, to clarify, is not a bad thing in my perspective,) many of us forget what it is that unites us instead of divide... that we are all so clueless. Sure you might have kids and say at least theyll live on... but one day theyll die... Or, you might be afraid of death but content with a spouse, knowing that you wont die alone... but we know in that last splitting moment of your soul letting go (you slipping from conscious to biological unconsciousness, I dont even want to comment on the "if youre "spiritually" conscious" transition...) of its physical vessel, you will face it alone... Reality is already so complex and we already have scary (or exciting, to each their own...) axioms (death after life... and the certainty of a complete Blackbox for what that experience might be like...) Why have we (generalizing...) lost our perspectives that we are all here, then away, in a blink of an eye? Anyways, if you are a fan of long form podcasts... this episode (feel free to skip all the parts you find boring) goes into the same kind of paradox of finding hope in a seemingly (to the extent of our cognition) hopeless world: th-cam.com/video/Osh0-J3T2nY/w-d-xo.html
"It is impossible to be a mathematician without being a poet in the soul." - Sofya Kovalevskaya Echoing the paradox of: The heroic poetry of humans even attempting to find elegant, systemwide solutions to a, very evidently, chaotic and complex world... like, Why DuDe? lol.
Also, this "hopeful agnostic" phrase made me recall another paradox of a movie I've seen called "Her", it echoes the paradox of: what does it mean to truly learn how to love someone or something? could be fun for your spiritual explorations and perspective on paradoxes.
Link: th-cam.com/video/PXTQwRf7iRg/w-d-xo.html
The journey might be tiring, but at least it's a journey. Who knows? The destination might be incredibly, austere (An eternity of paradise??? Pft, who wants that???)
pce
@@spudlover3939 Thank you for taking the time to answer my comment. I think the best part is that it does feel like I have company in this journey.
Just have to comment that I gave the 666th Like on this comment, and it’s silly.
"what if I am wrong about this?" is such a powerful question and something we should ask ourselves every day, about everything. We shouldn't be ashamed to realise we're wrong about something, instead we should be grateful to learn. Thanks for being so open Rhett.
Letting yourself be open to the possibility that you are completely wrong every now and then is the most important key to wisdom in my opinion.
@@The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate But what if you're wrong about that...?
@@pineapplepenumbra I most definitely could be. Surely I am open to listen what could be the "most" important thing. But it would take a pretty compelling argument for me to believe that it is unimportant. 😝
@@The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate Well that's an argument that I shall not even bother to consider undertaking :-)
My belief is noone knows what the heck they are doing and everyone is wrong. And it's okay to question it. You can believe all you want but it's okay and even CREATIVE to question everything you think you know
As a former pastor who walked away from faith and still lives in the south, thank you for this. It is comforting to hear the story of the exact same process I experienced. This talk is invaluable.
Have you looked at any other religions
it's interesting how a lot of us independently arrived at the same conclusion. to me, it is good evidence that we are on the right track
@@izzycampbell6933 what do you mean by right track
Funny about this because I went completely backwards from all of you. I don’t associate with the Christian church, but it’s very funny.
I went the other way around
The fact that Rhett is comfortable telling this story says a lot. Losing a connection from what you used to believe so deeply is an emotional rollercoaster! I'm happy that you guys are talking about this because it lets us know we're not the only ones.
Edit- thank you so much for the likes, and Rhett if you're reading this just know we support you and love you!
This entire conversation is admirable and deserving of so much respect and care. So yes I'm with you.
Not to deflate your comment, but this is the same dude who is growing out his hair to look like Jason M.
And also eats pig testies
Judging a whole person on surface deep things not so kind. People's are so many layers.
Must be the man-bun lmao
Fire Ball I was going to say the same thing. I definitely know the feeling of falling out of religion, especially when it used to be my whole life. Though we come from different backgrounds and experiences in life, I can relate to this story.
Coming back 3 years later to listen to this. I wasn’t ready at the time, but am now at a point in my deconstruction to where I am. Thank you for the incredible work you do.
Right there with you
Same! I am re-listening as I originally listened 3 years ago, at the beginning of my deconstruction. Now, with more space and time to come to some of my own realizations this is hitting in a different, but such a beneficial, way.
@@amloyd77 Thank you for sharing your experience! I completely resonate with everything you share. I too had to get to a place where I felt safe to listen to what they had to share.
Same. I was still fully christian the first time I saw this, and couldn't get through it. It made me so sad. Now I relate so much to everything he's saying, and I'm planning to look into some of the resources he gave to aid in my own deconstruction.
Listening for the first time to this series - I've been deconstructing for about 5 years but only recently got back into Rhett and Link. It's encouraging to hear these stories (and other comments) and know it's going to be ok, because I still have a lot of grief. Reality breaking a part is painful, but at the same time there is a joy and freedom where I am now too. Sending love to all y'all post-evangelicals!
Rhett you have a real talent for explaining controversial topics in a respectful, meaningful manner. I think you could help a lot of people who used to be in your situation by speaking about your journey. Close-mindedness is never the answer...it’s always better to be open to any possibility in life.
I do agree, but he does have an air of- I’ve done the research and i’m completely right. He called this his story but it’s more of an agnostic sermon, I’m agnostic too so I didn’t mind it too much, i’m just saying it came across a bit preachy.
@@WHALEx3 Well I think maybe you were just noticing his passion and dedication to the subject. Rhett is a very analytical dude and he obviously put a lot of time, effort, and feeling into this whole process. I personally like the way he talks not just because he’s so well spoken but because of his well thought out arguments.
So very true !!!!
Yes I especially loved the part that he called a whole religion cowards for standing up for their beliefs
I thought he did a great job
"I have lost my appetite for certainty... and it has been the most liberating thing in my adult life." This resonated in my bones. Thank you for discussing your journey; I've found much needed validation in my experience from hearing yours.
This!!
Confusion is not a great alternative.
@dvforever When you examine the dogma you were handed and realize it's a weapon being used to oppress your peers, giving yourself permission to drop it and walk away is an incredibly important struggle. To take the responsibility for your ethics away from an external authority that isn't there and place it squarely in your own lap, gripping the reigns of your own morality and giving up the idea that clinging to that dogma and continuing to beat your peers bloody with it will ensure that you're "right," THAT is what I find freeing. I have no certainty toward whatever nuance Rhett meant, but that's where I found validation in his phrase.
The greatest confusion I experienced was attempting to consolidate the text and teachings of my religion with wildly mounting evidence to the contrary the longer I spent alive. I miss neither the apologetics or the mental gymnastics.
The freedom to not only not know but also not have to know has been one of the most amazing stages in my life.
[Holy awkward sentence structure batman!]
@@dvforever being scared of confusion isn't a good excuse to blindly follow something IMO, thats why some people think religion is the human way of coping with the unknown
I would LOVE to hear Christy and Jessie's side of this story. Sounds like such an interesting journey being on the other side of this journey and having to "keep up"
Exactly.... Their side of this would really add so much value ❤️
Yes! I had the same thought!!
I agree completely. I think it would be really interesting to hear how it affected other people in their lives. Kids and other relatives as well. Probably not have them come on, but just have Rhett and Link share how they reacted and their thoughts. Like how Rhett's brother felt, especially because of how he was involved in CRU as well.
Agreed.
saame
3 years later, and this was the episode that kicked it off for me. Left Mormonism after being in it all my life and this specific episode when it came out was what convinced me to start answering my questions for real.
Congrats 👍
I feel freeing and I hope you do too.
Leaving Mormonism was the best decision of my life. Glad you were able to pull it off
And mormanism is a special case, because it's a relatively new religion compared to the others
Designed with Americans in mind. So artificially made.
@@austinfowler2707 Well said. Maybe I didn't last because I'm Canadian. lol (jk) But you are exactly right.
It's remarkable to hear someone with a trained preacher's delivery witnessing about their loss of faith. I love you Rhett and love to hear you talk about your embrace of uncertainty.
Not trained yo
Never had it
@@cheexaclappin @ 9:50
@@sunshine3914 sorry my bad. He's a theological footnote 😌👌
kinda ironic lol
Honestly guys, this is/has been a fascinating little "series"; personal, honest, divisive and profoundly human. Thank you.
I like that also :)
anyone here from
*JOS (J[^o[^[y(o(f)[S^[a"[t"[a'['n] o)r)g?*
So much respect for them, I'm really proud of my boys for being this honest.
kozmik__WZRD unfortunately anything to do with religion - especially leaving a religion - is divisive even when it’s discussed as thoughtfully as it is here
This helped me breathe. I started crying when Rhett said "I'm more interested now in what happens while I live". Thank you. I've never even been religious, I've been agnostic my whole life but wow, this helped.
Kathryn Lee Sorry but he’s got a lot of misconceptions. This is a great video to watch th-cam.com/video/TjZsIxSkKzc/w-d-xo.html.
Don't listen to these fools
Jacob Ferguson ??
Whoah, I just had a moment. As I am watching I scroll down to the comments and as I am reading your comment Kathryn and I get to “I’m more interested now in what happens while I live” Rhett says it exactly the same time as I read it. Ha. Felt, I don’t know...for lack of a better term, cosmic. Just thought I’d share that :)
Fabian Espinoza thanks for sharing! I think it’s a powerful sentence
To dismiss this man's experience as a simple move to LA is so incredibly ignorant and hurtful. And I think it's something someone would say who doesn't want to admit they have had some of the same questions about their own faith. This was very clearly a long and painful process for Rhett and I really appreciate him being vulnerable and sharing this.
LA has a big part of it no doubt about it
@@Needassistanceeh. A lot of people in other areas come to the same beliefs though.
I know. They assume it’s so easy walking away.
It’s very uncomfortable and lonely
@@Needassistancemy parents said the same thing when I moved to Chicago, but ironically enough my experience going to a Christian university (which my parents encouraged) played the most significant role in my deconstruction. Being exposed to new cultures and ideology can raise questions, but it’s very patronizing to reduce the cause of someone’s deconstruction to something so fickle.
It Is a long and painful process!!
I think a lot of us can agree it was an honour to listen to this podcast. Very personal and eye opening. Shout out to Link for being a great listener too. Looking forward to the next episode.
I had to stop the episode and appreciate the absurdity of seeing a person, who I'd normally watch eat crazy stuff, have a deep moving speech on such a personal topic. I'm glad they've both talked about this.
Yo. For real. I love this format. I’d jump back on I was a religiously watcher. No pun intended but havent for awhile just hear and there but it’s 4:40 almost 5:00am jyst started and I’m finishing it
Cuz I’ve always loved theres guys.
Yes I never realized how insightful and honest these guys were! I just saw their silliness and loved them for it but I never really thought about their own personal life journeys
I was a Jehovah’s Witness and had to skip this when it first came out.
Last year I realized my religion wasn’t the one true religion and I gotta say just y’all posting this and me reading these titles helped nudge me in the right direction ☺️
Thank you for your bravery and talking about difficult subjects!!!!
I had just decided to not be a witness when this came out. It was an emotional experience watching it back then and I identified so much with their stories. Stay strong, I know it can be tough when you leave the witnesses.
Oh my God me!!! Me too!! I’m at the beginning of the video but I just know this is gonna be so helpful
Ex jw here too.
Ex JW here, too, born and raised. I left 17 years ago when I was 23, but I still carry a lot of religious trauma and upset, but leaving that cult was the best thing I ever did 🖤
JW is a pretty scary group to get out of. The BITE model was developed to help analyze and quantify cult behaviors. The BITE model is a framework developed by Steven Hassan, a mental health professional and cult expert, to identify and evaluate the control mechanisms used by high-control groups and cults. BITE stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control. The Jehovah's Witnesses organization has been criticized for exhibiting various aspects of the BITE model, such as controlling members' behavior through strict rules, regulating access to information, influencing thought processes by discouraging critical thinking, and manipulating emotions through fear and guilt.
Rhett, don't know if you'll see this buddy - 40 y/o married father of 4 here - been a Christian for 24 years...was going to be a pastor, read all the books, etc. I am in the process that you went through in this video - honestly, I wasn't ready to hear it 3 years ago - I listened to it all today. Thank you for your huimility my guy - appreciated.
In a similar place bro. Been a Christian for 27 years. Worship leader. Love my church, love the Christian community. Heck, I can still stand in a worship service and absolutely “feel” God. However, I don’t know what any of that means anymore. I don’t want to deconstruct at all, but I feel like I’ve seen behind the proverbial curtain a few too many times.
@@sean_millerComfort with all you have known vs truth and the unknown. It takes courage to live authentically, with integrity. But it makes a world of difference, and opens up new opportunities and new healthy relationships.
@@sean_miller - Tender for where you're at. I left faith in 2016 after 30+ years in. Played on worship teams, was tech staffer at a very prominent church and then moved into the Anglican denom for a while before the doubts and thoughts and lack of experience left me nowhere to go but leave. If you ever need a person to chat with, I'm game...
@@sean_millerI left the church completely when I was still young so I can’t completely relate, but I’ve heard from others who’ve gone through deconstruction that there is no goal or endpoint, it’s about finding what’s right for you and breaking down the parts that keep you from being your happiest self. This means you can keep faith if that’s what’s right for your life so don’t ever feel like you need to abandon everything to be valid in your journey
I actually got back into the faith. Didn’t have much faith to begin with. In a metaphysical way, came to believe in a god, just thru philosophy. I accept that a lot of it is just stories, but the point is faith, meaning and purpose. You can find it in other religions, it’s just this one preaches to love your enemy, love your neighbor, love every sinner, and to forgive; things I feel is hard for the world to do. I want that, for I love this world, every person is me with different problems.
My impressions of Rhett before this series: sarcastic funny, slightly defensive, intellectual
During this episode: the same, but with a deeper context.
I'm feeling reminded that context is so important to understanding one another and a key to resolving some of the hurt and conflict we have in the world. Understand your friend. Learn his story. Feel with empathy how their experience formed them. Move forward gently.
TLDR: my respect for these two has grown tremendously and my heart grew three sizes that day
I agree on the impression. I have been realizing he is a very thoughtful person and it has done nothing but improve my opinion of him. I appreciate his drive to learn even when it was seeped in religious backed material.
Yes, Rhett going this deep into his psyche was a curve ball. These guys are so well read and behind the "comedy" there is so much complexity that, as a fan, I can't get enough of. True role models! Keep at it guys!
What is TLDR?
TheHardRockHippie too long didn't read
THANK YOU, THANK YOU ,THANK YOU! This level of candor and honesty, even with its risks, is the best! We love y'all for all the lightness and fun you give, but this just adds empetus to that. Good on ya both. Thanks Rhett.
First off, as a pastor I really liked this and I really love you. You told a story that myself, my brothers, and my friends have all worked through in similar ways. While we have arrived at different spots, I think this conversation was one of the best things I have listened to this year.
You’re such a well meaning guy, I love it when people of different beliefs respect each other. Good for you and have a great life!
So much respect, you seem like a lovely man
I love this 💕 Thank you for being so loving and respectful for different peoples point of view. Hope you are doing well during these hard times 😊
That’s cool that you’re not forcing your beliefs on anyone even though some people would disagree them, I wish more people were as open minded to an idea other than their own like you
What’s their religion currently?
I love how studiously Link is taking notes about his bff
Studiously taking notes like he did in church after being glared at for giggling and passing notes to Rhett.
I noticed that too. It’s nice.
@Spookay T'is Me He even said that in the beginning - I think they've taken the same journey and he wants to make sure to highlight the similarities.
What is their religion currently
Spookay T'is Me well that is taking notes
Link’s proud and happy smile after saying “Thank you for sharing”, at 1:42:53 , is so geniune and warm, what a great friend he is!
the story where Link almost kill a mythical beast got me cracking up 'just seen ya'll in the Audi almost hit me love the show lol'
Imagine you go to buy bread and you almost die because of this two
James Charles I like how the person messaged Rhett and not Link ...
Same xD the realization on Link's face is funny
@@itsjohnthomas Its like, you already almost killed me, I don't want to anger your inbox 🤣
That was too funny.
‘Hopeful Agnostic’ is such a lovely phrase and it perfectly describes how I feel. I have no idea what’s out there, but it’s comforting to think there may be a reason for our existence. Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly Rhett ❤️
I feel the same way. There's definitely a symmetry and connectedness that is perceivable, but there's likely much much more that we can't experience or understand. Which makes me madly curious and humble at the same time!
Same here
Emma 940 make your own reason
This comment is why I'm here. I can relate on a very deep level.
I agree. When he said that my heart swelled. I don't believe in God as presented to me by various religions... But I don't discount there may be a higher power and I really hope there is something after death. We just really don't know... And won't know until we're gone. I'm just gonna be a good person until then.
Best piece of content they've ever released by far. So introspective. They are far more articulate and precise in their speaking during these types of podcasts than on anything else I've heard them on. Bravo.
Matthew Holman we get it you’re smart
@@devonavandi2244 I disagree but thank you I'm flattered
Seconded. Ive found them so interesting to listen to as Ive never understood adults who believe in organised religion. I remember being 5 years old, in Sunday school and having a light-bulb moment... "Oh, this is like Aesops Fables for grown ups." Never looked back. So hearing the progression has been very enlightening for me.
Matthew Holman yes!!!!
rhett has a manbun. it can't be the best anything.
As a queer person who has grown up in and still lives in North Carolina, and as a child used to watch your missionary content, this story was so wonderful to hear. The fact that someone who doesn’t have the religious trauma that I do came to the same conclusion through the same process is beyond validating. What you said about focusing on life not death resonated with me HEAVY. Keep doing what you do!
“It is the knowledge that I’m going to die that creates the focus that I bring to being alive. The urgency of accomplishment. The need to express love. Now, not later.” - Neil deGrasse Tyson
I’m sorry for the trauma you received. I’m from Laurinburg, North Carolina. A church on every street. I still can’t be too open about my lack of faith because it will start debates or discussions about how my way of life is depressing. I hope we have our peace by the end of the day.
THIS!! ^^
As a gay person....
I mean as a fellow queer person who grew up on a farm in Central Alabama, I have to say being queer had a profound impact on me religiously, socially, and politically. It was hard to follow the crowd and be a religious right-winger when they were all attacking people like me on Fox News and in the church we grew up in. It made me look beyond the small world I was being raised in and realize that there are people in this world who have their own struggles. It showed me that my religion was not as perfect and good as I was being told it was.
@@impressions1017 Cope
As a current youth pastor, and long time Mythical Beast, I have loved this exploration into the "Lost Years". Rhett I appreciate your genuine spirit, vulnerability and honesty. Thank you for opening up to us in this way. Appreciate you guys
I'm very glad to see a current believer share this positive, accepting comment. Been surfing the comments and this is the first of its kind so far.
Travis Kapcia I agree. I am a believer and appreciate listening to his experience.
I also admire his vulnerability and honesty, however, it is disheartening to see a fellow believer fall away from the faith. I pray you return to your King dear Rhett and Link.
#Earbiscuits
Levi Walton I don’t think his comment was encouraging believers to no longer believe, I think he was simply being grateful for Rhett sharing.
Levi Walton that’s not the point
Love that these recent EB's are getting longer. Don't be afraid of doing these for a few hours guys it's great stuff very enjoyable to listen to
They shouldn't be afraid to go longer if the topic requires it, but they should elongate just to make it long.
Yeah agreed they always talk about how "this is getting a bit too long" and I'm always like noooo keep going its v entertaining
It is as long as it's within your echo chamber.
@@obelixco1148 hhvhigh hi oh Gigi hi jgoo
Honestly I would listen/watch a podcast 3-4 hours long if it's from them.
I'm not personally religious but have found these biscuits fascinating.
Same here, really fascinating
The idea of reading this comment without context made me giggle.
Likewise
@@madisonstinky so funny!
Listened the whole way threw, these are so easy and fun to learn about there personal paths
I’m an ex-evangelical, pastors daughter, and even a former missionary. I had spent 20 years of my life completely engulfed in religion. I was even homeschooled with a Christian curriculum with little contact with the “secular” world. I can’t even tell you how many hours I’ve spent on spiritual pursuits and education… it’s been over a year since I walked away, and I have never felt more at peace.
Thank you for allowing us to see into your journey. This process is both terrifying and simply exhausting, and it’s rarely talked about in ANY capacity. I grew up on your videos, particularly because my parents were aware of your faith and they approved. It’s a comfort to see that I’m not alone in my deconstruction and I thank you both sincerely for this conversation being published ♥️
Similar story here. My father isn’t a pastor but he is a fundamentalist Christian. He was also deeply abusive, but that’s another story. He had such a stranglehold on our entire family that it was his way or the highway. Anyways, always involved in the church, severely punished for any “sins”. Homeschooled with only YEC and fundamentalist curricula. Friends could only be Christian to the point that we were cautioned about the neighbors who were Jehova’s Witnesses. That’s right, the “wrong” kind of Christian…
Anyways, it’s taken years for me to deconstruct my faith. No one knows except my wife, I love her deeply and could not keep something like this from her. But I’m so afraid to tell my mother and siblings.
I guess I’m just saying I feel you. The total control over your life, from education, to media, to friends. And how deep of a hold that can have on your life.
I see you, I hear you, and I appreciate you. You’re not the only one who is pushing through this.
"If my story represents anything is that I am willing to change my mind". This quote gave me goosebumps because I wrote something similar to this in my journal, and that was the beginning of my deconstruction. I love how open minded Rhett is, and I am so happy that he mentioned that he was angry because I feel like for the first 20 years of my like I was lied to.
Saaaaame. I basically became agnostic when I was in 8th grade but I didn't "know" what agnostic was and i didn't tell anyone, it was kind of a weird "I don't think I believe in god but I will still pray to them" kind of thing. I got confirmed at my church a couple years later, and it felt so wrong getting confirmed,I was in this environment where everyone was excited for me and I was thinking to myself "wow I don't believe any of this". I haven't been to church since. No one in my family knew then that I was agnostic, and most still don't know, I'm 28 now and only my brother's know I am agnostic. It's really wild to think about this kind of stuff, just the idea that we for such a huge portion of our lives had to follow our families because it's all we knew how to do. I mean, I would never talk about being agnostic in a public setting because that would mean letting my parents know I'm agnostic, knowing rhett and link did it blows my mind, that's a long time to keep it to yourself, but at the same time if I was in their shoes? I'd do the same thing. I could never tell my parents I was not christian.
It's so hard to not be angry at first. After I moved out of my parents I became a lot more willingly angry about religion because I no longer had to contain myself about it, and let me tell you, I was pretty damn mad haha. I think it's just the natural reaction, it's tough realizing you haven't been living your own life. When you live through a religious lense, half the time you are relating everything back to religion instead of processing it yourself. Every time I am visited by my aunt, whom I love dearly, but she literally recites bible scriptures over everything and i remember when I was younger feeling so guilty that I wasn't doing the same thing.
@@dudeman5303 If you can't land on agnostic, I really don't know what to say to you in a spiritual regard. So, that is awesome!
@@dudeman5303same I also had to do confirmation while an atheist, but at least it really confirmed to me that my doubts were completely valid seeing as the church leaders couldn’t answer any of the basic questions I asked in class. But having my family celebrate at the end of it made me feel awful, like something was wrong with me that I just couldn’t believe in something when I knew my life would be much easier if I could. I was happy reading your experience that was so similar to my own. Thanks for sharing❤
“I’m going to follow truth wherever it leads, without fear”
The truth will set you free, ignorance is NOT bliss.
The truth is that evolution and the big bang are scientific myths
@@philpreston3072 Phil. My dude. I've been where you've been. I know how you're thinking. So the only question I would pose to you is simple. Would your beliefs need to change in any meaningful way, if hypothetically the universe came into existence 13.8 billion years ago instead of much more recently? If so, why, or if not, then why not consider the possibility?
@@KoolWithAQ How much does it matter to you that you should know?
@@jaezi5982 To be honest, it's the first real crack in the armor I encountered that helped me to realize that maybe just because an evangelical pastor says it, that doesn't mean it has to be true for me to be the person I want to be. Losing that armor is scary, but you can breathe a lot easier once it's off.
"The truth has to be more important than your beliefs or ideology" - Rhett McLaughlin
this needs to be chiseled several places into granite.
Otman Zayer truth can be proven.... one side proves the other wrong all the time... one truth exists common sense would guide you into the right place as Long as you are comfortable with letting go of current beliefs.
@Otman Zayer Yet, one is backed by massive amounts of actual evidence and the other is based on old stories taken from even older stories, that have been changed and retranslated many times over.
Science doesn't claim absolute truth, it is merely the understanding of the natural world. Religion, all religions, claim absolute truth. All 100,000 plus of them.
@Otman Zayer no it doesn't. We just don't believe the claims made by theists.
@Otman Zayer He didn't say the truth is clear, he said it's important. The fact he has spent much of his life seeking the truth, and he continues to do so, shows that it isn't clear to him. There is no other side of religion, you believe or you don't. Science, and specifically in this case - evolution, is not concerned with religion... or faith, or belief of any kind. Religion and science are not opposites, they are simply not relevant to each other.
Finally watching these videos is absolutely fascinating to me. I remember when I was still hella involved in my church, and the "new" broke that Rhett and Link had deconstructed their faith, our youth (kids and teens) ministry groups had an emergency meeting so we call all be on the same page about how to talk to the kids and teens about the "dangers of deconstructing" and how to help "guide" them away from the bad influence of GMM. When I say "emergency meeting" I'm talking about we got a text at 7pm and the meeting was at 8 and EVERYONE was there.
I kind of... finalized my own deconstruction a few months ago and just now watching these videos, I feel bad for you guys because what Rhett was saying in the beginning, about being a footnote of "You didn't believe" is exactly what we said in that meeting. As well as some other stuff. Being on the other side now, that shit hurts to hear.
❤
Rhett, the bottom line: No matter where you stand spiritually, you will always be the friend that parks his car and walks back to meet his friend who’d been hurting over a mistake and that's what really matters.
You're an amazing person, husband, father and friend. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Nothing you do will take away your sin. Sin doesn't exist if God doesn't exist. Sin is anything you think say or do that is contrary to what God says. Morality is the definition of what is right and what is wrong. Without God, morality doesn't exist and all of your actions are without an absolute standard. Right or wrong is only relative.
@ryan #1 so you're doing your best to follow the standards of your faith?
@XY ZW god is the morality, he him self is pure. There is nothing like him and nothing can compete. That like trying to say whats bigger than infinite. Infinite is in its self the biggest.
what does that even mean?
Chris Stevens in my perspective, i’ve never lived with a faith being taught to me. so finding my moral stand points and building my own morality and having faith in myself is just as reassuring (as i imagine) that it is to put your faith and morals in a god. in my views, nobody is a god, and everything is driven with your own mind and also by chance. so for me, it doesn’t matter whether or not someone is up there, whatever created me gave me a mind to think, a body to feel, and a world to explore. and through that, i have my own morals, that are also built off of legal morals in some ways, but also built through my feelings and empathy for other people. my morals are based off of my experience, which i prefer to feel rather than read and search for, to be honest.
I listen on iTunes but I had to come leave a comment when this posted. Rhett, when you said you don’t know what happens when we die but you’re more interested in what happens while we’re alive it really got to me. I was crying like a baby in my car because of how much that resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your story ♥️ starts around 1:17:00 if you missed it
That'd be 1:17:00 right?
Justin yes thank you, I’ll edit my comment
Sarah Beth San Souci I completely agree! Such a beautiful way of focusing your life for anyone.
I am doing that now.
That part honestly made me stop what I was doing immediately. What a powerful, amazing philosophy for being in the present. I want to try to use it in my own life.
Your story made me think, why do I choose to believe in something that terrifies me, that makes me feel like I'm always a bad person, someone who has never answered my questions, who makes me feel alone
I had the same feeling about 7-8 years ago. It was rough. I've slowly become an atheist and to be honest..I've never felt so much peace. The peace they assure you that you could never feel outside of a god. It is possible. But it does not start immediately.
I wish you luck in your journey (because these sorts of realizations were certainly a journey for me). But I also wish you joy, freedom and happiness as you find a life outside of those beliefs.
Above all, be patient with yourself. ❤️
If you think a god must exist, you dont have to be a Christian, you could be a deist. deists believe in a god that doesn’t interact with the world
Did you get answers to these questions?
Yes! This! Why must I feel guilty for natural human emotions and desires? Repression was not the answer, but liberation is.
I was raised athiest and I find it really useful listening to you both talk about your faith to understand where religious people are genuinely coming from, it's hard to relate without experiencing that framework yourself so hearing it really honestly discussed like this is a real learning experience
I know, it's hard to fathom.
I’ve grown up southern baptist in Georgia. I’m still living here and this is something that has been on my heart for a while now. I’ve chosen to ignore it but it never left. This was a weight off my shoulders. It was permission to question, acknowledgment that this is something other people go through, and a comforting pat on the back from two people I respect. Thank you both for sharing your story.
i was raised in a south georgian pentecostal church and i’m now pagan! your journey is your own
@@alainnnah
Haha pagan? Pagan is a pretty broad term. Do you still worship a specific god? If so, why? You realized that your original religion wasn’t true, and so you just switched to a different religion? Sorry if that’s too personal to discuss. I’m just curious.
@@alainnnah Why choose to be pagan?
@@garrusn7702 probably thought it would be fun, and a lot more than niche than atheist
I respect it seeing as you have multiple choice and all of them are flawed, giving no absolute power
@@garrusn7702
You don’t choose your religion or lack there of.
Faith: Let's Talk About That.
Can you imagine!?! LOL
Yes.
Faith is the conscious decision to believe alternative facts.
@@carolnorton2551 What are alternative facts? Facts are simply that, facts.
Faith is how we trust something we have reason to believe is true.
I'm only a few minutes into this but:
Rhett: "Do you want to hold my hand?"
Link: "If you need it, sure."
I know Rhett was kidding but Link's answer was moving. More non-toxic masculinity on the internets please. ❤️
@@bryanmesa1642 stroke?
@@kylerockwell9573 idk too bro i went to sleep while listening to ear biscuits
Language and Programming Channel bruh what
@Language and Programming Channel
You're telling me we don't live in a society where there's a negative stigma around men who express emotions, rather than doing the "masculine" thing of bottling them in until they self-destruct and/or hurt others? Don't be foolish. Toxic masculinity is certainly real.
@Language and Programming Channel
It is.
The way Rhett articulates his thoughts and feelings with care makes this so easy to listen to and follow each process. Also when Rhett said he looks at his marriage as more like a "it's pretty cool that I get to go through life with you. I love you." That was so sweet.
Not even kidding, this is one of the most beautiful, candid pieces of media I’ve ever consumed. This kind of openness is powerful and important (and I haven’t even watched Link’s personal spirituality video yet, but I’m looking forward to it)
"What if im wrong" felt that in my very being
check out real life beyond faith with patrick and jenica crail. similar 💜
@@emily2009grace to celebrate their spiritual death?
You would love The Liturgist Podcast with Michael Gungor and Science Mike
I feel the same. Very well articulated.
It's been about a year since this originally aired and a year since I listened to this in my car and decided to officially leave the church. Sharing your story has made such an impact and I'm so grateful for the both of you for taking a risk and talking about your exit from the church. I think what really did it for me was that they also grew up in the south. Leaving the church in a extremely religious location is MUCH different than leaving the church in a mostly agnostic/lightly-religious area. When you leave the church here, you are going against your entire upbringing, your school, your family, and all your friends. It is a truly isolating and humiliating experience and I was given the courage as a fully grown adult to finally cut my ties to the church. I have never felt more free in my life, thank you.
Every now and then I visit the comments on this series of podcasts just to read stories like this one. Leaving the church, especially with everything in your life going against doing so, is the hardest thing to do and thats awesome you made that choice. I did the same thing and it did so much for my personal growth and my relationships with others. I just wanted to validate your journey because it really is tough, especially when you feel like youre on your own. thanks for sharing!
@@BintonGaming Wow, thank you so much for sharing and commenting here. The Mythical family really is one of the best out there and I've always felt a sense of home here. It's also been comforting since my exit from the church to find so many other people who have had the same exact experience as me. I felt so alone at the beginning because I felt as though I was the only one going through this. I really appreciate your response, have a great day :)
Thank you for sharing a bit of your story!! I left the church, too. I was active in the church-led worship, was there multiple days per week, constantly busy-and it was a LOT. I didn’t leave because I was busy. I left because I became increasingly skeptical about the way the church operated. I read the Bible word for word, and that’s why I left. I’m also in the Bible Belt (Tennessee), so I completely understand what you mean. It was hard, but I couldn’t stay because I couldn’t bring myself to believe church doctrine. That was a year ago, and I haven’t looked back. I’ve grown more in a spiritual sense, and I’ve also grown exponentially as a person. I no longer have anxiety attacks or panic attacks, and I feel so free. Not many understand this decision, though, and that’s okay. I’m much happier this way.
Haley, I just read your post last night, and was thinking about it again this morning. I also walked away about 30 years ago. Hope you are doing well. It's not easy, but then it is at a certain point. You find your tribe, so to speak- when you live your life authentically and not by beliefs squished into your brain starting at birth. You find your own path. And it can be awesome. keep seeking your own truth. Happy for you and all of you dancing to your own song, no matter how weird or quirky it may be.
@@robasiansensation3118 have you guys looked at other religions
It's almost midnight and I've been listening for over an hour... I'm crying... this is my story. the same basic steps, the same heartache when you're just waiting for anything to respond...
Thank you...
Sorry my friend. I feel your pain. But better answers exist than this. Keep going
I will offer my advice: go to where you will feel at home.
Hey Josiah, you and me both. I’m 5 years into this exploration and new season in life. The bad news is that it hasn’t become and easier with family and friends. I have lost many as a result. The good news is that I feel a deeper peace and stronger curiosity towards life than I ever have. It has been the greatest adventure of my life.
A big takeaway in this video is just how fortunate both these guys are to have each other to navigate life with-they ask such compelling questions of one another and are outstanding listeners to each other
Right? I wish I had a friend like this
I’m very strong in faith. I have no judgement or hate towards you guys. You’re allowed to change your mind. I’m still allowed to love you. I’m still allowed to pray. But, I still have to respect your views too. Thank you for being open.
Oh brother. ZZzzz... ZZzzz.... ZZzzz.... ZZzzz.... ZZzzz.... ZZzzz....
I respect this type of thinking so much
'still allowed to love you'?
Where did that come from?
Your wrong!
Ian Follett wow ok. A bit rude, but ok.
I love that Rhett is talking about this. This is the genuine content we’re looking for, not insulting, but not stepping back from your truth. If you’re looking where to pivot, (maybe with your new blog on Saturdays) well, my dudes, this sorta stuff is it. Let that guard down and be really real.’
I think the fact that link is sitting there taking pages of notes is really cool
i think that's due to him getting to share his thoughts next time, but I agree. It shows a real respect for what Rhett's saying and Link wants to understand as best as he can before giving his thoughts next time
Yeah really loved that.
@@aaronhauth8880 He does add on quite a bit to what Rhett said in this episode. In fact, a lot of Link's journey was coloured by the spirituality of Rhett and Christy, and it feels like more of a personal exploration via personal and relational circumstances than via rationality like Rhett's was. Well worth a listen.
Super cool
It was very thoughtful
I was a youth pastor for three years.
I had traveled the world telling the Gospel
And three years ago, my crisis of faith had gotten to a point where I couldn’t do ministry anymore.
I’m agonistic.
I’m hopeful.
And after years of therapy and rebuilding life is better than it ever has been.
I related so much to your story and your journey is so similar to my own.
Thanks for sharing
Wow their friendship has really been through everything
As someone who has never been religious, I still find this really interesting. It's always been hard for me to understand the mindset of those who are, but this has been very insightful.
same. i grew up in an agnostic family but occasionally went to church with my grandmother, as my parents didnt want their beliefs to sway what i chose to believe. i always found it difficult to comprehend how intensely ppl can believe in religion and how much it impacts every aspect of themselves. i love listening to rhett and link talk about their story with their faith because it helps me understand better, which i feel will help me better connect with the religious folks in my life.
you have to be rasied from birth or converted through trauma. all religions are cults@@TissueCat_
Definitely same, it also makes me pretty grateful that we didn’t have to grow up with this insanely strict moral code that could leave us with so much guilt over such mundane things
Coming here from the "A Conversation With" podcast with Philip Defranco.
Watch the first 2 before this one
Same.
Same! I don't listen to podcast, but that PD video is why I am.
same
Sup you beautiful bastards hope you're having a fantastic ___day my name's Phillip Defranco and let's just jump into it! The first story one of the most requested stories of today...
Here 4 years after this was posted, came from tiktok after seeing a comment about you guys deconstruction stories and the album (I had no idea).
Just wanted to say how comforting this is, people don’t know how lonely the process can be and it’s nice to see that we’re not alone in the journey.
Thank you for sharing your truth!
Just found these guys last night on a random TH-cam search... and wow. My husband and I have been going through our own deconstruction for the past few years after some especially traumatic life events. We’ve lost our communities, family and friends- and most people from our past don’t even know yet. We were full time missionaries here in the states and to Asia from a very charismatic church (yet I was raised Catholic...whole other story). The most devastating thing to me, is the realization of how CONDITIONALLY I have “loved” and been “loved.” I’ve found something much closer to unconditional love outside of religion, church, or ideology. It’s so much easier to love yourself and other people when you don’t have to convince or convert. Thanks for this guys... it’s desperately comforting to hear others stories and be able to relate so very much. I’ll definitely keep following your journey ✌🏼
@@colecrump164 Thanks Cole! I love the Liturgists so much!! They are one of the first podcasts I found around deconstruction. I have yet to get involved in the community there but I really need to and your comment reminded me of it. Thanks 🙏🏼
Steve McVey’s “Beyond an Angry God” and “The Divine Invitation” are great for those fed up with religion. He’s got a FB page too which is very good.
I'm so sorry that the church disappointed you. I normally don't write comments, but I was compelled to say this though: Even if the people who make up the church did not love you unconditionally, God does. I'm sorry for how you've been treated, and I understand your doubts. I just wanted to let you know that while people will always be short of perfection, God is always dependable. I hope that you're able to find that :)
Great job guys!!!! Takes very strong courageous people to do that! It’s better to walk alone than to walk with negative people. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
And go watch these guys be hysterical on GMM and GMMore
You questioned your beliefs and you took an honest look at them and concluded that you had bad reasons for believing them. I think that really shows that you're an intellectually honest person who cares about the truth.
Strong INTP right there :D
@@HuubHeesakkers INTJ right here. Went through a similar period in college, where I questioned and debated, but my faith strengthened as a result. I did shed unnecessary cultural traditions, but the core of the Christian faith is as real to me as ever. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have always been an independent thinker and never just took anyone at their word. Plus, I never expected scientific certainty from a relationship with God. That approach seems really strange to me. Trust is not a scientific concept, but it is quite real and powerful.
@@Alex.Kalashnik Good going! If only the entire world was made up from intuitives.. (especially the 'thinkers') humanity would suddenly advance way quicker.
If that is true about Rhett, then when is he going to take an honest look at eating meat and see it for what it is, wrong. It's wrong because of how we raise the animals to be eaten, not just the fact we eat them btw. Look into the documentary Dominion, it's free online.
It shows that he didn't understand what he thought he believed. It doesn't demonstrate that the Word of God is not true.
never been the most die-hard fan of the guys and only watch gmm occationally.. but this, this right here is amazing content
No Comment ikr. been watching for years but these eb’s are really hooking me in
same position man. This shit gave me a whole new view on the world.
You all must live shallow lives if you found this profound or insightful. This is pretty much cliche. Seen it since my teens, and I'm 50.
@@JAFAtuber Did you grow up in a fundamentalist Baptist household in North Carolina? I'm the same age and from the same background as these guys and although I deconverted much sooner than them, their thought processes mirror a lot of my own. Or if you're still a "believer" dismissing what they say, well, OK, let's all live our best lives.
@@vamppanic TBH this content is way better than their GMM and MORE content. I love it all but this... THIS is so much more relatable. This is something that so many people can relate to. It really starts to turn the cogs in your mind and lets you question things about your self without forcing anything on you. It's just a view into someone else's religious thought process and how they dealt with it.
As a missionary/pastor kid who spent a lot of time debating evolution in college and was SO sure of the doctrine - I appreciate your story so much. I’m in the middle of my own deconstruction and it’s painful. I miss being certain and confident. But it’s also incredibly freeing - the world opens up and I am free to explore without having to fit all the square pegs I keep finding into the round hole of my religious world view. A million thank yous for sharing!
I remember when I was scared of losing the certainty, and what follows is a thirst for knowledge and a great joy in the ability to learn new things. Once I got past that part, I was excited to find out what else might I have been wrong about and starting a journey of knowledge and discovery I’m still enjoying years later.
It's funny, I used to be the same way as a kid. I ended up going to college for a microbiology-related subject, and I felt like learning more about evolution and adjacent topics rather than just taking a very biased version (from the church) and terribly explained (public school) I found that I was really able to understand that it wasn't the antithesis to my beliefs as I thought it was. That and there were far more religious scientists than I would have expected. I was able to critically evaluate what I believe, what I didn't really believe as much in anymore, and what I still needed to explore for myself. I think everyone should experience that level of freedom.
@@calebm9000
The reason there are theistic scientists is because they were indoctrinated long before they became scientists. It’s hard to break free of childhood indoctrination when those claims were out there before you reached the Age of Reason.
Evolution doesn't disprove the bible though lmao. If you left because of that, then you just didn't explore. Presbyterians for example believe most modern scientific theories and relate them to the bible.
And they do so by ignoring what the Bible very clearly states to have been the case. @@uncannyvalley3190
Im very impressed with Link for staying quiet and letting Rhett speak for so long
I thought the same thing. it was so respectful, I admire him for it.
As someone who has never had faith, I can't imagine how hard it was for Rhett to challenge and leave the world in which he'd been brought up. But how strong and brave he was to follow what he believed to be right.
As a Mythical Beast who is part of the LGBTQ+ community/a woman, I also appreciate that you've taken the time to understand the viewpoints of other people when considering your faith, which also can't have been an easy thing to confront.
I totally agree that you should focus on what happens while you're alive; being a decent person, being kind to those around you, and trying to leave the world a better place than it was when you entered it. And I can honestly say I think Rhett has done/will do that.
Excited to hear Link's perspective and I await his story with open arms/an open heart.
I think you'll like Link's reasoning and morality.
@@mr.blonde8808 That's lovely to hear :) I tend to wait to watch EB, but might do a sneaky listen to the audio version of the latest ep because I'm so intrigued!
When I started college I started to question my faith. When I moved to a different city I started reading stuff by some famous theologians like Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, or evening modern people like RC Sproul, J.I Packer, and others; I actually started to believe more. Reformed Theology for me allowed me to have a more systematic way to look at my faith in a more tangible and ironically philosophical way.
Nohan Jr - I LOVE this!! Thank you kindly for sharing your story!
Pub member? Same boat!
RC Sproul is very hard to argue with Id say. He makes things so easy to understand. I feel like if you have questions like Rhett's you should look for his explanations. I feel like your "quest" for truth can become, arrogance and pride more than a search. Or, possibly ease from earthly struggles.
I often believe reformed theology leads to these stories of deconstructed faith even more. I think the resources of an Wesleyan Arminian theology can be unmatched in helping doubters navigate their faith
I'm about to confront my parents about the massive rift in our family because of this exact issue. My dad constantly judges me and won't allow me to spend time with my Brothers because I don't follow his exact view of the world. I'm literally a normal person with a SUPER normal and average life, and he believes that I'll corrupt the family. Wish me luck y'all, I love you Rhett. Thank you so much for this excellent perspective.
Ask him if he knew that the four gospel are completely anonymous despite the names in their titles.
Wikipedia --> Gospel --> Composition
Hopefully things are better. To me, it sounds like your father keeping the brothers apart is corrupting/tearing apart the family. Of course, doing that thinking it's the right way to do to protect the family.
Hope now 11months later there has been some understanding and progress o/
I’ve never seen Rhett so flustered and in contrast link being collected.
they balance each other out
i am completely appalled by the version of myself that watched this video the first time. I used to be christian, never read the bible, but convinced myself that i wasnt only following because thats how i was raised. always hated the religion, but it held such a grip of fear on me that i would have panic attacks wondering when the trumpets would sound. I even knew i was homosexual, and convinced myself it meant God's plan was to keep me single for the rest of my life. When i first watched this video, i had to take it off because inevitably, it helped me realise that i wanted out, and i was so scared of that feeling. feeling that following a religion my whole life was doing more bad than good on me.
I'm back, and a lot has changed since i saw it for the first time. Yes, i am happier, and no, im not living in fear about when the world will end or if im good enough to experience peace in the afterlife. Im free, I love myself, and i hope one day I can experience love without fearing it.
to anyone watching that is fearful, because i understand the feeling of walking out of a religion. it's hard, but if it is the right thing for you, it needs to be done. I wish you the best, and I truly, truly hope you sit and wonder what that best is.
What's your current view on theology
@@ThePinkRebel i have no issue with anyone who studies theology, but of course as someone who doesnt believe in the faith anymore or any religion its pretty useless for me. although i will say it is interesting and it can even be used to challenge religions so it is a pretty cool topic.
@@user-xn3rs7tu5w im a truth seeker. and as someone who was fooled into believing christianity and paganism i understand just how powerful our brains are at simulating spiritual experiences and sensations. i was huge on evangelism and apologetics and used to want to be that warrior for god. now im an atheist and his mentioning of becoming the angry atheist really took me back on my motives for debating. but i realized why i am so passionate in speaking out against theology and its because real people get hurt all the time by it and i have to stand up for those that do harm even if they dont see it.
@@ThePinkRebel im totally with you on that one, i was fooled too. I personally have never found myself wanting to lead others into atheism unless they want to, but your fire comes from a good place and I fully support it. keep going! I remember even myself and how I noticed all my "spiritual experiences" were all heartbreaking coincidences. it does hurt to think of others living like that.
I love this so much
I find it fascinating to hear about people's journey to faith, and from faith. I think that it's very brave to talk about things as personal and divisive as this, but that's what makes it good content. Thank you.
Are you educated in this subject? I am a little confused and love to speak further about this subject.
@@obscurefaith I'm a little educated on it, what's your question?
@@obscurefaith th-cam.com/video/JC9fHrLHBfM/w-d-xo.html
David Bazan of Pedro the Lion has an interesting story
@@jasmineling5517 oh my. I didn't realize you replied. Apologize Jasmine. Do we have a way to speak privately?
As a believer, I like to come back to this is different stages of my faith. I have gone through similar experiences but arrived at different place. I appreciate the open space that doesn’t condemn anyone for learning, arguing, and growing. Ultimately, beliefs are so personal and what it takes to find our place is often times embarrassing or full of fear. Thank you so much for making this space and telling us what you have gone through and arrived at. It is so very helpful.
I appreciate that you acknowledge that being a straight white man in the church is a very different experience then many others. As a women, my story of leaving the church is very different from yours, because I was treated differently. Thank you for making this clear for everyone listening.
Same. I'm amazed both by how relatable Rhett's story is and how, in many ways, it's totally different from mine, simply by virtue of the fact that I'm a woman. I arrived at many of the same stops along my journey, but I think my anger was more intense, probably because I experienced a lot more negative than positive when it came to my Baptist upbringing. I also began to question things much earlier (middle and high school), probably because it's easier to look critically at an ideology that's actively hurting and limiting you.
As someone who started deconstructing a year and a half ago, and who watches GMM, I find it crazy that I just now found this video because of Tiktok! Thank you for being so open and honest about yourself and what you've moved through in your life. This couldn't be more on point for where I am right now.
Same!! I came here because I saw of tiktok of his recent video about this.
lol i also saw this on tiktok
Yo same lmaoo love that
I’m glad I’m not the only one finally watching these bc of a tiktok
Of course u found this because of tik tok lol , the ccp wants nothing more than you to "deconstruct" 😅
Rhett is absolutely right about kids learning far more from modeled behavior than they ever will (or could) from explicit lecture. It is backed by common sense, pedagogy and child psychology. Thank you both for being brave enough to share your stories in such a vulnerable and candid fashion.
I had a very similar experience. My father was a well educated preacher in Alabama. I didn't want to lose my faith either, and I certainly didn't have any resentment toward my Christian upbringing. As Rhett pointed out so well, as a straight white man in an American Christian church, you pretty much have everything going for you.
My spiritual deconstruction was much more rapid and violent than Rhett's. It happened all at once when I realized the bible was not the inerrant word of God, and then went down a similar thought process as Rhett did when he thought, "What if I have been wrong this entire time?"
I am now an atheist. I feel I love humanity even more than I did before. If this life and each other are all we have, then we have to make the most of it. We have to love and help our fellow human beings. I really appreciate Rhett sharing his story. I wasn't ready to hear it 3 years ago, because it was too raw for me to want to reopen my old wound, but I'm glad I could hear it now.
As a man who is struggling with this, what contradiction were you looking at for this?
I’m unsure of anything anymore, so help in bridging the gap would be appreciated, man.
@billyjr.6728 No problem!
As for contradictions, the first one was a contradiction with reality, in that it said the earth was created before the sun, which we know to be false. That led me down a path of considering the other aspects of the bible that didn't line up, such as free will vs predestination (both of which have heavy support in scripture but are at odds with each other), Noah's flood having dozens of issues, the temperament of God being seemingly very different in the OT compared to the NT, the support of slavery, and many others.
When I truly considered the possibility that the bible was written by men and men alone, the entire book made much more sense. The state of the world made more sense.
Please let me know if you have any further questions. Also, Genetically Modified Skeptic is a good channel, and his journey is very similar to my own.
I just want to point out: Rhett, just because you're a straight white man does not mean that you didn't have bad experiences with your religion/church. Just because some people have it worse than you doesn't invalided your struggles. Someone is always going to have it worse off than you. That's just life. But don't downplay any struggles you had because some people might of gotten it worse. Your experiences still matter.
rosie x I think he’s just trying to give his problems perspective. I think it also helps someone to downplay there problems, to see them as not as bad as they could be.
Agreed. It hurts my heart when people downplay others pain, because other people may have it worse. If that was the case, then only one person in the entire world would be ‘worthy’ of being in pain, because there will always be someone who ‘has it worse’. Pain is pain.
Exactly, thank you
He literally said he didn’t have any bad experiences.
Yeah. I mean people always joke about how young straight white males were sexually abused by their priests because that has been known to happen. They had it awful.
When rhett gets grey hair and grows it out he will be a wizard
Rhettdolf the Gray.
Rhettagast for now
"You're a wizard, Rhetty"
this comment has to be top comment I lol hard this has made my day
Left Mormonism after 32 devout years. Your story is so relatable and so helpful. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave to share. It has helped me immensely to know I'm not alone!
I was Catholic of 32 years, I'm 34, an now reject all of it. Yes that means I was baptized into it. It suddenly started to occur to me how cult like all religions are. Then I started to think for myself. I now consider myself Evolved, or no need for a deity. I know the right thing to do with a religion telling me that there's some sort of afterlife. I think it's far more important to focus on this life.
@@wolftitan amen brother! Very similar stories! Also 34. Also born into it. Currently apatheistic. I wish you well on your journey! 🖖
@@cruisergear9601 My journey truly has just begun. I am way past atheist, as I call myself the Evolved. But I find it funny how few people know where Amen comes from (Amun-Ra, the Egyptian god).
Bro how it take you 32 years??
The Mormon Stories podcast has great resources for anyone deconstructing or looking for a context for history & religion
everyone who is still in the faith seems to think leaving is easy. they don't understand how tortuous it is, how it feels like betraying yourself and everything you ever stood for. my mom told me after i left that "[i] always had to be right" but doesn't realize that leaving your faith is a lot more about knowing you were wrong
If faith is wrong then what is so difficult about leaving it? I broke with tobacco the moment I understood how badly it affected me. Felt awesome
@@DartNoobo thats a completely vacuous comparison. nobody in your life was pressuring you to continue to smoke, nobody would disown you if you didnt smoke, you hadnt been told your whole life that the true purpose of life is to smoke and that stopping smoking meant you were abandoning the purpose of a higher power.
And that is simply gaslighting. If you are thoroughly convinced that certain system of belief is wrong then it won't hold any power over you.
@@DartNoobo the belief doesn't, the real world consequences of changing beliefs does, do you think you just stop being human when you change belief? Me disagreeing with you isnt gaslighting.
@@DartNoobo to piggyback off what they said, when i left christianity, i left everything. i could no longer attend the college i had been at for 3.5 years, i lost 90% of my friends over it, and my familial relations are so tense that my parents won't be at my wedding and i don't know if they'll even be a part of their future grandchild's life. it's so much deeper than "this is bad for me im going to stop." im glad you were able to quit cold turkey, but leaving a faith is so drastically different from quitting an addiction. it is having to relearn and reteach yourself how to think and act in the world because you were always taught that one specific way to do it was correct. i will never ever fully recover from how i was raised in christianity as much as i try, because for 19 years it was the air i breathed.
Rhett is duch a great linguist. Everything he says is so well-thought out and easy to understand. Even with the notes he's written. You can just tell he has a sense of wisdom and empathy within him. Meanwhile I write sentences with 'duch' rather than 'such'.
Great humour dude😂😂
You’re a teenager, your standards are rather low.
I think you meant “douche”
LOL. I went along with it, cringed in some parts, and lost it when he said "hopeful agnostic." Bruh, what does that even mean?
Edgardo Salas he explained it right after he said it. Agnostic = don’t know or can’t know (about the divine, supernatural), hopeful = hopeful. It’s not rocket science.
rhett, i’ve never ever felt so seen. we have identical stories, right down to the anger phase and upbringing. mine just happened a bit earlier in my life than you. much love.
Same!! I’ve gone through the same realization and experienced the overwhelming relief that comes with the fact that we do not need to know all the answers
God loves you
@@jonathanjaynes. amen
Now do the critical thinking with modern science archeology astronomy and history. And you get lost again back to uncertainty. What if the truth is indeed found in the bible? Idk
@@user-mp7yz2qt2t
Lmao okay friend. What about the Quran? Or the Torah? Why not be a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Sikh?
Rhett, I appreciated your genuine vulnerability. Full disclosure, I host a podcast called “Where did you see God?”, so I have some strong personal beliefs about God. I give that context to emphasize the weight of this, that I found your story to be powerful and important. Anybody that shuts you down is missing the point that your story is still going; as you put it, “I’m going to follow Truth wherever it leads me.” Too many of us think we have a lock on Truth, but it takes a lifetime to grasp. Thank you for boldly being open, being hopeful, and being real.
I truly appreciate this comment so much.
What is the Point of your story and What do you mean?
@@trafficjon400put another way, I was just noting that even someone with a podcast that talks a lot about God can affirm and value stories like Rhett's, rather than perceiving it as a threat or an issue.
@@abcdefgranger True Good stuff that may answer us some day's wile we are still alive i hope.
@@trafficjon400 If the Government would come out a show the proof they have that the Sasquatch is real then the theory of evolution would be proven. I think they won't do it because of the money that could be lost like the timber industry could be shut down to protect them. People could be too scared to hike, camp, fish, and other outdoor activities. The real big one is the CHURCHES!
the statement about being more concerned with how you live vs what happens to you after you die is sooooo powerful and something I wish all people considered more. Right now in the present how you treat yourself and others is what matters
Thank God Bible teaches us exactly that
Wanting growth is beautiful, having the courage to search for truth is beautiful, the ability to face those truths (especially the hard ones that might define you to your core) is beautiful. Thank you for being your most authentic self, even when it’s scary.
To those who don’t live in the Bible Belt, it really is this way. It’s not easy to leave the church. My relationship with my family is different from any other family member because I don’t believe. Some relationships with friends were ruined. I even had some threaten to fight me because I didn’t believe.
Definitely, I lost friends when I became an atheist, not because anything about who I am really changed, but because they now saw me as evil.
Threats of violence? Sounds very Christian, and I'm not being sarcastic.
whenever people say “leave the church” and rhett talking about how they have very smart people that explain away doubts or concerns really just sounds the exact same at cults. honestly.
@@xaixn. the difference between a cult and a religion is just public perception
Yeah it’s just like this. My friend came out as gay and left the baptist church and his parents essentially disowned him. Sad stuff
I'm just now finding this series and you probably aren't looking at these comments anymore. But, thank you. I was raised in that same world, without the privilege of being male or straight. It is still something I'm healing from. This was so comforting to hear you speak about.
This was so relieving to watch. I've watched you two since I was in high school [I'm 25 now]. I was raised in South Carolina and pushed toward Christianity my whole life. Since I was a child, I could never grasp the belief system and hated myself for a long time because of it. I finally came to peace about it a few years ago, but I just really appreciate you sharing this story. It takes a lot of courage to discuss this and I'm thankful you are sharing this with others.
I am similar. When people say “through the blood of Christ I am saved!” Has always just been word salad to me.
Agreed, also South Carolinian, and this is incredibly moving
You look like rhett playing rhett in buddy system
As someone who has been a non believer for all my life I find these stories incredibly interesting. I think it takes a lot of tenacity to break with the religion you were raised in.
I agree. Its definitely a brave step to take for sure.
I find it batshit crazy how even extremely intelligent people such as Rhett and Link can be roped into these cults... And how much it pervades a place such as America. Religion here in Australia is thankfully dying out pretty fast, majority is older generations who were indoctrinated.
@@mickelboy182 roped in? You mean born into. Have some grace and open your mind to people unlike yourself.
@@A.S2400 Fair comment, being born into it certainly makes it tougher. It's still hard to fathom the level of evangelism from intelligent blokes though.
I was an associate pastor of a full-gospel church for about ten years.
I went to college to become a Christian Apologist - long story short ~
I am now an Anti-Theist.
My family disinherited me, my Church family shunned me and my community bullied me.
I moved to another part of the country and started over.
I never could have foreseen the freedom and courage that comes from fully letting go of GOD.
Compulsory love - is not love.
I do hope you were able to take advantage of the Clergy Project, since it was specifically set up to help people out in your situation
Sorry you gotta deal with that rough stuff though what are your thoughts on the non-Abrahamic faiths?
Be strong, a new view of life is ahead of u.
I'm not religious and never have been but I have always found stories and discussions about faith and deconstruction fascinating!
The most surprising part about finding out Rhett and Link were such devout evangelicals is that they never at any point attempted to be youth pastors.
"honestly, i'm more interested now about what happens while i live"
i think that quote needs to be written on like every single billboard or something
that is just the most profound, intelligent, and beautiful statement
snaps to rhett
Sydney Huard SO TRUE. THAT’S WHAT I SAY.
Timestamp
Definitely seems like something my mom would share on Facebook, which is both positive and negative.
I’ll remember that for the rest of my life.
Sydney Huard I think we should be more concerned about what happens after we die. This life is like a day compared to what comes next
I honestly couldn’t care less what Rhett and Link’s spiritual beliefs are (although I will say these episodes were incredibly moving and interesting), but watching this gave me a newfound respect for Rhett. His willingness to question the core foundations of his entire belief system in the honest quest for the truth is something that is unbelievably admirable. More people in society need to be more open to the truth, on all manner of subjects, regardless of whether it fits their current belief system or not. I think the world would be a better place if people would be more like Rhett.
I think there are more people open to the truth than what it seems, they’re just drowned out by the fanatics yelling at the ends of the spectrum. This was a great episode.
i did that and people hate me for it.
I used to be religious. I lost my faith somewhat recently but its incredibly hard to share this especially with my family. My mother is very emotional when it comes to the topic and I have never broached the subject of me losing my faith with her but I have tried to talk to her about certain views that I disagree with and she has almost cried. I think telling her the truth would destroy her so I sit in silence.
What’s their religion currently
@Joy Bradford that is a shity way of thinking.
I listened to this the first time while walking around my christian campgrounds, following the leader and being a counselor to young individuals in the christian church. I was a guide to them and Rhett was a guide to me. This was my catalyst, I haven't looked back and I am so so grateful for the vulnerability in these episodes. I will never forget what good hearing this and watching this has done for me. My deconstruction is something that I am now proud of, thank you.
I completely get where you’re coming from. I grow up in the Catholic Church, I was baptized, commune, and confirmed. But I have always questioned, I have felt lost and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just fully embrace like everyone else, I wanted to, but my heart wasn’t full. I’ve felt anxious most of my life about my faith. More than anything I can wanted to be like everyone else in the church and in have faith. I don’t know anymore, and I’m being ok with that. My focus is on being the best person I can be. I am not throwing anything out, I’m just going to live.
thats good, just be a good person and believe in yourself ~ eitherway
Look at St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic answers
i think the reason it hurts to be accused of never being a true christian or losing your faith just because of your location and secular cultural influence is because the process of losing faith is really a loss that we grieve. if you had a strong relationship with your faith the process is painful and you don’t take it lightly. you grieve that relationship with the faith itself, the security of the worldview and all that comes with the faith. you also lose or fundamentally change a deep and personal relationship you used to believe you had with your god.
to have those relationships and how much you valued them challenged after you struggled possibly for years over losing them is really hurtful.
It should only be about trust and faith in God, not a “relationship with faith” or a faith in faith. But as far as people claiming that if you leave Christianity, you were never truly a believer, it’s only a small slice of (Calvinist) Christianity that claims that. The Bible itself speaks of people who have left the faith and of those who experienced the reality of God and chose to reject him later for their own reasons. God gives humans free will to accept or reject Him any time. Apostle Paul also said that it is the experience of God’s goodness that leads people to change their mind towards God, not some theological argument. Real faith is deeply experiential, not purely intellectual.
so true. im currently having a deconstruction myself and i find myself grieving things all the time.
one example is prayer. if i was anxious about something, i would pray to god. it was almost like a security blanket and a false sense of control; if i pray hard enough, god will answer my prayer. recently, i found myself praying, and then i thought "who am i praying to? this is useless, im praying to no one. no one is coming to save the day" and suddenly i felt so out of control and scared. it hit me, there was truly nothing i could do in this situation. i had a moment of realization - how i never had full control of what happens in my life, who enters it and the hardships that i go through. i thought if i prayed hard enough, that god would help me or i'd at least feel comforted by knowing this was god's will. I grieve the comfort prayer. that was a hard pill to swallow and still brings me anxiety when i settle & think on it. sometimes, i wish i could just blindly believe for some of those comforts again
Losing touch with God is the greatest tragedy a person can face. Just remember He's always waiting, and always hoping for your return with open arms and boundless forgiveness.
@@onkadoodle510 if you are also a hopeful agnostic you can still pray in a hey if anyone is listening type of way if you want. you may want to explore your spirituality outside of organized religion and false certainty. :)
Wow. Rhett is so incredibly thoughtful, self-reflective, intelligent, and such a fantastic storyteller. Truly a beautiful podcast episode told by a beautiful soul.
as an 18 yr old lesbian from the bible belt who grew up watching you guys, this means a lot to me. you guys have evolved wonderfully and its great to see you guys evolving alongside me with some of the same values and beliefs.
Trans lesbian here! I grew up on a farm in Central Alabama. The Church and conservatism in general literally ejected people like us, then they wonder why we leave the church. It is quite cathartic coming to these comments and seeing other queer people with similar experiences to mine.
@@katyungodly i could tear up with how happy it makes me to connect with other people such as you through some of my childhood youtube dads :') thanks for sharing
Simply not being a Christian anymore is not “evolving” don’t act like they’re just better more progressive people now simply Bc they’re no longer Christian lmao. That’s just idiotic.
@@drewbunton1156 do you know the definition of evolving? simply meaning to change.
@@haleybrooks6213 Evolving and change are two entirely different things. Evolving inherently means to adapt to your surroundings, and is normally a progressive step forward. Evolving and changing are two entirely different things
Oh Rhett, I need to thank you for having this tormented conversation that soo many of us face and are afraid to speak. May peace find us all!
I can’t describe to you accurately how much this resonates with me. I was brought up by a devout northern irish protestant mum , and the fear and uncertainty that comes with suddenly finding that the basis of your whole world view no longer matches up with someone so close to you (your wife in your case) is such a heartbreaking thing. Im from a small town in Kent England, so a world away from North Carolina but this is so relatable ❤️
You won't find many people as real as these two men. True role models for living a life of love.
how lucky the people who dismiss you and your experience must be. what a great and easy life they must have to dismiss the pain of a person experiencing a painful loss such as losing faith or transitioning into different ideas. I think that having a great and wholesome experience with the church must've made it even harder to walk away from. This was a real eye opening telling, and I am sorry to Rhett for being dismissed by narrow minded people.