The Coital Darwin Awards
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ต.ค. 2024
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Omg, that Thad clip killed me hahaha🤣🥵
Worst true/lie fake/fact involving coitus was the guy who got red pepper flakes up into his deekhoe as a result of probing a rear ass-ault on someone who previously ingested them.
Gives a whole new meaning to _"firehose."_
6:52 "...glued his c*ck shut!"
Ouch... really... OUCH!
Sheath is great you add is facts. My only problem is I had to order a size bigger than I normally wear.
You know Simon women watch you also. Why not something for us?
In the nipple clamp story (because I had to look that one up) he apprently had a history of telling people if he was going to kill his wife he'd make it look like a kinky sex act gone wrong. So broke one of Simon's rules of talking about your crime.
I knew that was sus
Was it? I always thought the rule was don't write down your crimes
@@mlee6050 I'm pretty sure Simon's Rule(s) are to never write them down _OR_ discuss them with anyone.
Yeah, I figured there had to be more to in than in Kevin's synopsis.
Yeah, that'd do it 🤦♀
Sheath sponsoring a video about horrible sex accidents to highlight how SAFE and COMFORTABLE their underwear is for your FRAGILE, EASILY DESTROYED GENITALIA is just… *chef’s kiss*
Sheath is also another term for condom which makes it worth at least two chef's kisses! Mwah! 😂
Fun fact, a broken penis is actually referred to as an eggplant 🍆 fracture because of the purple bruising and swelling from rupturing one or both of the corpus cavernosum.
I don't think Sheath underwear would be very accommodating for the post surgery recovery time, though.
*glue not included
The award for best/most appropriate/most uncomfortable sponsor goes to....
It's a tie between this and that CasCrim about a cannibal that was sponsored by Hello Fresh.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yes.
And now, life insurance sponsoring a different episode about the Darwin Awards.
"I, as always, am your host Simon" is becoming less of a standard greeting line and more of an absolute fact with each new channel Simon creates. He is, literally, always the host.
Side note: Simon is in rare form today
Simon needs a tv show
I wanna see Jen or one of the writers do a surprise hosting. Would be hilarious.
@@chriswillis2181 while pretending to be Simon, telling all the usual Simon stories.
Less a statement and more a threat.
Apparently, it's a secret that the fact boy is not always the host of his videos.
Simon, I used to do drug tests for industry pre-employment physicals and once had a prospective employee come to the desk to sign in and ask me how long coke stays in your system. I answered "Longer than it's been since you last snorted it." I had seen him do a line off his car hood in my parking lot.
That's never enough of a wakeup call, especially someone that'll snort shit off a car hood.
3 days urine, 6-8 days blood and about a year for hair follicle. So I've heard...
@@bradstafford1401 actually closer to 2 days for urine, 6-8 hours for blood and 1-3 months for hair
I think the year is for the nail cuticle. But my experience was before they were testing that.
You guys are so full of wisdom. How long does weed take to get out of your system? Just asking for a friend 😂
Simon's expression of righteous anger about a man who hooked his wife up to an electric main through nipple clamps being convicted of murder is the absolute funniest thing I've seen in a while.
Yeah that shit is manslaughter at best.
@@RHColeI would even argue involuntary manslaughter… that or you have to create a new category of manslaughter through idiocy/due to horniness
In the US you can absolutely be convicted for accidental murder, that's exactly what 3rd degree murder is for (generally death caused by negligence, extreme apathy, or accident). The entire purpose is that it encompasses killings without malice.
I have a picture in my head of the nipple clamps are jumper cables attached directly to the circuit breaker.
Yes; however, it is likely the investigation revealed his story was b.s. and the act was intentional.
Especially since those devices NEVER use actual household current. Death can occur with only 50 mA due to muscle contraction and interruption of the heart's rythmn. It only takes 1 ~ 4.3 amps to totally stop the heart (especially since the path of current is through the chest in this case). Standard household current is 15 Amp (or more than 3X what it takes to kill you).
11:32 EMT here and yep got that one right Simon always make sure you are safe before helping someone. There's no use in 2 electrocuted people lying in the bathroom so definitly disconnect first. Although in some cases the fuse might have already blown so there wouldnt be any danger.
That's the thing that gets a lot of people into trouble for trying to help, though. "...the fuse MIGHT have already blown..."
NEVER assume the fuse to blow, the breaker to open, or the circuit interruptor in the outlet to "kick". It takes far less time to simply disconnect the appliance from the socket or otherwise remove power BEFORE you touch the victim. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 In fact, never assume anything, when you do, you make an Ass of U and Me. Ass-U-Me. Old adage my electronics engineering teacher taught me.
@@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith Yeah, I heard that one, too...
I was always partial to Samuel L Jackson's variant from "Long Kiss Goodnight"...
"AND as we all know, whenever you make an assumption, you make an ass out of YOURSELF and Umption." ;o)
This is the first part of DRABC
Same idea with the oxygen masks on a plane - and also trying to help someone who's drowning. Never just grab onto them, they can very easily pull you under and drown you both. It's much safer to hold an object out to them - stick, floaty, towel, whatever. Something you can let go of if you need to.
Gotta say Kevin, I absolutely appreciate the tonal whiplash your writings bring to Brain Blaze. Seeing Simon writhe from the sudden transitions is absolutely hilarious.
Also, total missed opportunity to use at 19:00- "I would win that bet or die *fucking* trying."
🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡🤔🤔🤔🤔🤪🤪🤪🤪😳😳😳😳🤣🤣🤣🤣😳😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂
"I would win that bet or die fucking"
The police not being able to open a child-locked cabinet was probably a legal premise, not a skill-based one. A lot of jurisdictions they can't open anything locked without a warrant, though child-locks seem a bit of a grey area. Though, I do love the idea of a bunch of cops standing around a child-locked cabinet all scratching their heads.
Simon: "It's unlikely you're a women watching this."
Me who owns multiple simon merch and remembers when this channel was suppose to be about businesses and the scrips would get a daily slapping: "Shit, that's news to me. Should I see a doctor? Is there something wrong with me?"
Tbh I am questioning if I’m non-binary I guess we know now 😂
I'm right there with ya! Am I a statistical anomaly??
😅 don't worry ladies, you're all beautifull in your own way.
Don't let Simon tell you otherwise!
Strange Anomalies can be cool too lol
There is Sheath for women and Simon gets so excited about the men's version that I nearly bought myself a women's pair. I suppose he couldn't vouch for those himself
Just a mountain full of snow
*a happy female subscriber*: Shout out to my fellow women watchers of Simon's many channels!
Happy old broad here! Love me some Fact Boi 😂
Grumpy old bag here! 😂
I am indeed female and a subscriber to several fact boy channels infact he seems to be taking over my TH-cam!
Me too 🎉
I would like Sheath to start creating comfortable bras, please. They can call them Cups or Straps.
Bras are better on the bedroom floor
In keeping with the weapon imagery, probably Sling
@@FragginWagon76 there we go! Thanks!
Jugs
@@FragginWagon76yesss!!
Simon, you can’t drop the “coital Darwin awards” and a new Casual Criminalist at the same time. That’s cruelty to your audience.
And it's a CasCrim about a sex cult. Like COME ON factboi!
Fact boi is horni boi today
😂
Worst true/lie fake/fact involving coitus was the guy who got red pepper flakes up into his deekhoe as a result of probing a rear ass-ault on someone who previously ingested them.
Gives a whole new meaning to _"firehose."_
😆😆😆😆
I'm one of the 20% of your subscribers who are women :P I watch several of your channels regularly. THanks for the entertainment Simon!
Now I'm curious to see the Venn diagram of subs a/s/l by channel. Like TopTenz or TIFU are prob most popular across the board while Megaprojects or Warographics are more niche and popular w/men than women.
@@andiward7068omg i didnt even know warographic existed. How does he have so many channels?
Also part of the 20%, I'm kind of surprised that it is that heavily skewed to men, I'm subscribed to about 1/2 of Simon's channels
I'm never even sure what channel I'm watching I'm subscribed to all of them. Unless it's the criminalist channel because then the videos are always reeeallllyyy long.
@Marlies Hilgersom over a dozen. Highlight History is now hosted by one of his OG collabs but he's got tons left.
Bio, Geo & Warographics, Into the Shadows, Decoding the Unknown, Casual Criminalist (most Simon of them all since Business went Brain Blaze), TopTenz, TIFU, MegaProjects, Sideprojects, and idr the rest without looking it up.
The phrase you're looking for Simon is "Death by Misadventure".
Also, while this does mean that the death is ruled an accident due to actions undertaken by the deceased voluntarily, it does not preclude any other involved parties from being prosecuted.
This means they would be charged with something other than murder, such as gross negligence manslaughter or willful misconduct.
And had she been rendered unconscious by their sex act and died in hospital a minor charge (pardon the pun it is actually unintentional)
against the husband would be appropriate.
He admitted to shocking her repeatedly once she was unconscious, until she died. That is no longer misadventure. Toby absolutely intended her death.
I’m pretty sure he told his diary he planned on killing her by making it look like a sex act gone wrong
@@darkamora5123 from doing a little more reading on this, apparently he also had told people that if he ever killed his wife, he'd make it look like kinky sex. Obviously that's not enough for a conviction by itself, but it does make you go "hmmm".
This. Needs. Part 2!
Yes, please! Am I right, Kevin?!? ❤
And a part 3, 4, 5 etc etc
Toby admitted he shocked her multiple times after she was unconscious Simon. She might have died from the initial shock after receiving medical treatment.that would be death by misadventure (or as you said horseplay)
But she had already been hurt and he could reasonably infer that continuing the action that hurt her might prove fatal. He then shocked her repeatedly until she died. It may have been spur of the moment, but that absolutely sounds like he intended to kill her.
He fulfilled both requirements for a death to be considered murder, at least in the jury's estimation (and mine).
Just like a fist fight and a lucky (or unlucky) blow causing an instant death and pummeling someone's head once they are unconscious until their brains leak out, what could have happened and what did happen are two different things. Screw Toby.
2:45 - Mid roll ads
4:30 - Back to the video
4:45 - Chapter 1 - Condom save lives
9:40 - Chapter 2 - Homemade nipple clamps
14:35 - Chapter 3 - Piano man
17:55 - Chapter 4 - Anything to win a bet
20:55 - Chapter 5 - Sex on a hot tin roof
22:20 - Chapter 6 - Check your carbon monoxide detectors
Ah I feel so special as a female in the 20%. Thanks Simon.
Same!
There are dozens of us, dozens!
Wow, you mean there are more women than just me here?
This is the Alleged Sisterhood
me lol
I worked at a grocery store for 2.5 months before going away to college & genuinely lost enough sense of time that I thought it'd been a year. It was so terrifically dull & soul crushing. I don't know how folks do it but we couldn't live like we do without them so I have big respect for them. My boss wanted to send me off to mngmnt school & I was as far from interested as possible. It takes a kind of mind that I don't have to do that, but I'm glad people exist who do.
There; perfect response. Clearly not a job for you but recognizing the need of those who will do it and respecting them. All folks should spend time in a service job before going on to other things if they wish. Might make everyone more considerate of each other. (Put in my time at fast food and grocery before going into medicine.)
i had to get out of a sedentary high-stress job and _chose_ grocery
it is an essential service that people take for granted
I’ve been working at a grocery store part time while in college for 2 years and it has been really boring at times but I get through it cause I like my coworkers and some of the regular customers. The store I work at is locally owned though so maybe it’s better than working at like Walmart
It was hard to watch this episode eating, I was laughing too much at the amount of times Simon said "glued his cock/penis shut", or the anger about everything else, lmfao.
This is my favorite channel on this wretched platform lol
lol how the hell would homeboy use the bafroom?
The first Darwin Award I ever read went as follows: Man is attempting to clean his chimney. The chain he was using didn't have enough power and mass to break up the creosote, so he took the chain to his workshop to find something to weld to the end. He found a heavy metal object, and proceeded to strike an arc. BOOM! The object he was trying to weld to the chain was a hand grenade.
The first one I read was about the guy who tried DIY bungee jumping, not accounting for the fact during preparations that the cord stretches
I read one about a guy who, half way up a tree standing on a branch...
sawed off the branch directly above his head
@@ViewingChaos My dad hired some tree surgeons when I was in high school; these guys lived up to the trailer park redneck trope. One of these idiots was stopped by the lead guy on the ground; this dipshit had just observed sawing the branch he was on, saw between him and trunk of tree, Looney Toons style.
Shocked to find out I am 1 of the mere 20% of women that watch this channel. Come on ladies, this is quality blaze.
Congratulations
There are definitely some moments where I’m like bruh these bros don’t realize but there are also definitely moments where I’m like yep, these guys get it.
First thing that popped into my mind after reading the title was a limerick I heard when I was a kid. There once was a couple named Kelly who had to walk belly to belly because in their haste they used library paste instead of petroleum jelly.
I learned it as:
A honeymoon couple named Kelly
Spent their honeymoon belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.
Another Brain Blaze video I never knew I wanted, but I’m so happy to see!
🎉😅😢.
omfg dying at that electrified 'no don't do it' meme edit 🤣🤣🤣
I made it while putting clamps on my nip--
18:20 actually that WAS a fascinating tangent Simon. Good on you.
I didn't realize till now how bad we needed Simon to start a brain blaze with "s--- is going to get spiceyyyy."
Ahhh, Carol Doda. She had a lingerie shop on Union Street in SF after she retired from performing at the Condor. The Condor is more of a basic sports bar now. When I was a kid, I was fascinated by stories that she'd injected her chest with silicone. She passed away a few years ago, IIRC. Some old-school places in North Beach had memorials for her.
Silicone injections used to be the standard for breast augmentation, until they linked them to cancer. Then they started using silicone implants, but I think those were problematic too, if they leaked. As far as I know, saline implants are harmless, at least to the body.
Now it's topless again! It converted back to a strip club in 2011
Is it bad I know of the places you might be talking about? Wait she has a memorial on north beach? is it still there? because it's been renovated several times.
For those wondering - the term he is looking for is coitus interruptus. Not great for preventing pregnancy, but great when you are into Harry Potter roleplay.
Most underrated comment award. 🏆
Me and Electric - same page. 😂
It is actually only a few percentage points shy of being as effective as a prophylactic. Simon did a TIFO video about it 👍🏻
@@RHCole the problem is that you actually have to do it in the moment. Not everyone is good at that. The "practical" effectiveness is much, much lower than the theoretical effectiveness. To be fair, the same goes for every other sort of birth control - but taking a pill every day or wearing a condom is more likely to be done correctly.
@@OldSchoolLPsGames there can be sperm in pre-cum as well. But it is better than nothing, for sure.
@@OldSchoolLPsGamesThe practical application is about 22/100 pregnancies after 1 year, or 78%.
If you want to engage in it and have a decent level of longevity you can just do something else after they have "enjoyed" it, that's what I've always done.
14:00 In the US we have murder 1 (which is intentionally ending a life), murder 2 (which is ending a life in a way that a person should know has a high likelihood of death), and involuntary manslaughter (which is accidental death).
Correction: Involuntary manslaughter is when someone - while not directly intending to take a life - does something dangerous or with great disregard for safety that results in someone elses death.
Negligent homicide is when you - with action or inaction - knowingly create the circumstances in which a death occurs, and do nothing to prevent it.
Accidental death is when someone is killed by something which no one could've have reasonably expected, prepared for, or protected against.
13:00 when I was about 3 (1970) I found an old pair of headphones, they had a two pin connector, same as a 2 pin shaver, I stuck the lead into an adapter and had them on my head, adapter was already pluged into a 230v 3 pin socket, my dad walked in and ripped them off my head as I was about to switch them on, I was convinced little people lived in the electric sockets and made the power and I would hear them.
Bloody lucky my dad came in.
24:00 I got 2 carbon monoxide alarms in my boat, we have to have at least one by law.
We have what's called "death by misadventure" here in the States, but I think in the nipple clamp couple case they went with the gross negligence/indifference angle.
When I worked retail, you got paid until close. There was no time after closing to front out product. You had to do that while cleaning up and while customers were still shopping.
Can confirm, work retail. The only time we do that is on Christmas
Story 2: I remember being taught that you use something non-metal like a broom handle or chair leg to pull the plug out of the socket if you suspect electrocution to prevent electrocuting yourself.
LOL Simon's editors putting the F*cking clip in there is a nod to the true underdog of comedy gold. Cheers!
You guys always manage to make me audibly 'lol' and I hate how much I love it😂🖤💯
Sergei is a legend that is the way that I always wanted to go out.
I'm obviously part of the 20%, Simon it's facing off, not facing out 😂😂😂 love all your channels
When dealing with electricity, keep something nonconductive nearby. My brother interned at a tool manufacturer repairing batteries. They kept a broomstick near the bench for WHEN someone did a bad home wiring work. Tool batteries have just enough power to lock you onto something when the charge goes into you. A smack with the stick was all it took to break the connection. There was one or two incidents every week.
Kevin, Yay!!!!!! Can't wait for this one😂😂😂 Also, you don't have to intend deathto be guilty of homicide, you just gotta kill someone.
In the US unintentional death is usually manslaughter, murder generally requires intent--though there are some exceptions and as always it varies state by state.
I feel like homicide is the wrong term to use, as that's a cause of death (death by human being), murder and manslaughter are the crimes which result in homicides IIRC.
Pretty explicitly not the case, plenty of places have a bunch of laws that tier causing someone's death. From the various degrees of intent, to manslaughter in multiple flavours. He even talks about the law where death by "roughhousing" is a thing, that's not the name as it escapes me but it does exist
Though yes all of those fall under the blanket term "homicide" that's not what your charged with. You charged with a specific brand of it.
Edit: death by misadventure
You can be found guilty regardless yes, but it isn't right.
Tho in this case it might be unreliable info trickle down, don't quote me but apparently this might have just been a murder. That or his coworkers reeeeally didn't like him.
@@glich6035 in North America, you can be charged and convicted of homicide homicide requires only a volitional act or omission that causes the death of another, and thus a homicide may result from accidental, reckless, or negligent acts even if there is no intent to cause harm.
A classy strip club is called a burlesque show and people are actually a lot more open about both working there and attending the shows because it's considered art™.
This guy is the spitting image of the dude who does Casual Criminalist lol
They’re twins.
It's macabre!
I don't know why, but I feel I want us all to remember Sergi, it's a story so ridiculous but it's true. He deserves to be remembered lol
I want to know how they managed to get his coffin lid closed...
The thing about working retail stocking shelves and doing that facing thing is that you still find yourself 'fixing' the merch on grocery store shelves years later when doing your own shopping.
In HS we used to play a version of truth or dare that involved sitting on a carpeted wooden stool and being challenged to answer within a certain time limit or talking continuously on topic for same. The stool had nails through the seat and the sharp ends on the bottom were soldered to wires attached to a crank phone battery found in the basement. It wasn't dangerous, but damn it was painful.
Now, I'm one of the minority of women watching this channel, which maybe explains why I was involved at all. It was a matter of honor and pretty funny until someone's parents came home early to investigate the shrieks.
I miss when Simon used to beat the shit out of the script
Hello Florida I am also a Florida
This way he doesn't have to wear pants
And when he paced around the entire time… me too.
I've said it for a while now but I think he should sign and sell his scripts after each episode! Auction, whatever how.
I get why he stopped, as that was probably alot of paper... but itd be funny if he had a stack of blank paper to smack around for callback purposes
And one of the highlights of my day!
Your newest upload... And it sounds like this is gonna be an interesting video! 🤣🤣🤣
I can't imagine what crazy ways people have earned a Darwin Award while having intercourse...
You're absolutely right about removing the electric. I'm not a first responder, but I did work in an electronics shop on a ship in the Navy. They had some very deadly sources of power in that shop, and we had a wooden cane that we were supposed to use to remove anyone from the "electrics". It' was a big ass cane - like 6 fee long with a large hook at the end. You were supposed to grab there person with the hook, and since it's wooden it won't conduct. You can't perform first aid until you remove them from any source of current.
“Facing up the store”. We used to say “Hollywood it” ie, bring stuff to the front to make the shelves look full and tidy, when I worked in a department store and the higher up managers would come to visit.
Hearing Simon say 'Titty Bar'; my life is now complete!
I had to pause the video in the intro, just to tell you how much I appreciate your humor, Simon! And you, too! Thank you for being yourself! Watching your videos brings a smile, and laughs, to me.
Ok, need to move to a room where no one can hear me laughing hysterically
You can come to the blazement with us, nobody ever hears us screaming
CPR protocol at least several years ago, is DRABC which means check for Danger, check for Response (shake the patient, yell, etc), check Airway, check if they're breathing and check Circulation.
Simon's mannerisms are directly proportional to his beard. His side commentary seems to be greater as his beard grows.
I wonder how much side commentary we will get when it is the equal of ZZ Top?!
O my god, an actual BMS edit by Sam. My hero.
Now I'm imagining WhistleBoy in just the those sheath underpants while he does a tonne of coke. Which, oddly, I have never done before. I'm usually too distracted by the most excellent beard
I have 2 pairs of sheath boxers from the last time one of Simon's channels was sponsored by them and they have improved my life immeasurably. If you like wearing skinny jeans or slim fit trousers, but your balls stick to your leg, these are the answer. They are amazing and thank you for the discount code. They aren't cheap but they are well well worth it.
Battery powered=3-9 bolts
Car battery= 12v
Main outlet = in America 110v, but fairly certain other places are 220v
One thing I've heard (may not be correct)
It's possible to get stuck to 110 if you touch it, but 220 will knock you back. I've been shocked by both.
110 was way more painful than 220.
Getting stuck to or knocked back isn’t determined by the voltage, it’s determined by the type of current. AC messes with your muscles and nerves in a way where your more likely to seize up, and thus be unable to free yourself.
Not sure about pain, but lethality is driven by amperage rather than voltage. Stun guns operate way, way, way above mains voltage, but they’re extremely low-current.
"Engaged in coitus" is the proper phrase, I believe.
I remember reading that Darwin award mentioned at the beginning... It was so much worse. It also included a bear.
Simon you are correct that the first action for electrical shock is to remove the power source
OR
If unable to turn off the power, use a nonconductive item to remove the victim from the threat.
Kevin had way too much fun writing this one.
He ate all the shroom stash
SIMON !! - wish all ur videos were this entertaining !!!. This is the gold standard
I can answer some of your viagra questions as a pharmacist, like all things it ultimately depends haha. Here in NZ we sell boxes of 4 and 12, the max dosage in a given 24 hour period is 100mg, or usually one tablet although they do come in 25, 50, and 100mg.
I couldn't find anything on viagra bottles in Russia, and also quantities he took.
hey, at least he went off with blast
Pfizer cites LD50 for Viagra (dosage causing a 50% chance of death [in rabbits]) at 2,000 mg per kilogram of body weight. Assuming he weighed 70kg (154 pounds for us backwards Americans), he would have needed to consume 1400 of the 100mg horse pills to have a 50% chance of death from toxicity.
It is a vasodilator, so his blood pressure could have dropped far enough to starve his brain - at a guess.
The National Institute of Health DID actually report a death in 2002, but the guy was already a mess. And exceeds my medical understanding.
A fatal case of sildenafil citrate (Viagra) overdosage is presented. The deceased was a 56-year old male found dead at home, with a past history of diabetes mellitus, hypertension, chronic alcoholism, anxio-depressive disorders, and erectile dysfunction. The main autopsy findings were cardiomegaly (650 g) with dilated cardiomyopathy, diffuse coronary atherosclerosis with no sign of acute ischaemic disease, and extensive fibrosis of the myocardium, especially affecting the cardiac conducting tissue. As measured by HPLC/MS, sildenafil concentration in postrmortem blood (6.27 microg/mL) exceeded at least four times the highest therapeutic levels previously reported. The results are discussed in the light of the literature about the cardiovascular side effects of sildenafil, with special emphasis on the recently evidenced arrhythmogenic potential of the drug. This is the first report of a fatality caused by sildenafil overdosage.
@@Souls4Roca that's true, what a way to go out! It seems he died with the misconception that viagra magically gives boners, it just allows the patient to get an erection as if they had normal penile function. If he'd already arrived multiple times it's likely his member couldn't keep it up anymore.
Protip, if you want to last all day don't go with viagra as it has a more limited window of action, cialis (tadalafil) has an all day effect, it's more pricy but it allows someone to take it in the morning and be more spontaneous with when they decide to get it on with their partner. Worth it if you can afford it as I can only imagine taking viagra to be a pain
I don't know what was more amusing Simon's telling of the story of the story it self
Simon your magnificent beard keeps growing larger and larger.
He needs hair on his head, just aesthetically. I was in the army and had to stay out in the woods for weeks on end, shaved everything with end result of looking like a total psycho.
@@noth606 I think he shaves his head because he has a receding hair line that doesn't look too good, one of those that has the hair on the front disappear in an awkward way
Christ this episode was a rollercoaster and a half
Simon has me so scared of carbon monoxide that I bought a CO detector for my all-electric house.
This gives a whole new meaning to “Going out with a bang.”
yes! more darwin awards please :D
Omg the FMA outtake being used! That’s obscure! Well done.
Engaged in coitus? But coitaling is hilarious.
Well, if we're going to be strict about the mechanics of Latin (without taking poetic license of course) from when "coitus" comes, you can tell by it ending in "-us" that it's a noun, and probably masculine... English allows for using nouns to "coin" verbs on the spot, but it would have been a dubious artistic manipulation in the days of Roman emperors and Senate orations.
While this still makes your original suggestion "correct", as coitus is the ACT, itself, being referred to as a "thing" (nature of a noun), I thought you'd find confidence in knowing "why" it works like that. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 always good to get the ‘why’ and now I’m laughing again , not at you, but the coitaling thing😂
@@ziggymarlowe5654 Thanks... I'm laughing at Simon's mental gymnastics trying to avoid saying "f*cking" and still keep it funny... ;o)
I haven't belly laughed this hard in a long time! Thank you! Thank you!
Speaking of electrocution...
That happened to me once while drying my hair. 😳
I can *still* remember *my heart literally stopping* for a while! 😰
And that wasn't, like, when I was a kid; that was a few years ago! 💀
Before GFCI was built in to hairdryers for the US market?
I had a bad experience with a broken extension cord in our garage as a kid, before GFCI was available. I mostly remember not being able to let go, and trying to scream. I think I finally grounded myself (by accident), or I wouldn’t have lived.
I remember as a kid, plugging the aerial in to the vcr. I got a shock. It was short, but painful (thanks to ac current). My arm was twitching after that.
@@firstmkb I'm from Croatia, I'm unfamiliar with those intricacies. 🤷🏼♀️
@@joniroxanne96 GFCI is Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter, it is basically a circuit breaker that trips when grounded/shorted out.
@@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith works by checking how much current that is flowing in the phase wire compared to the neutral conductor. (Technically by running both conductors through a small transformer - if the current is the same, as the wires are going in the opposite directions, there will be nothing resulting on the output.)
If not the same, then there's current going somewhere it shouldn't, either directly to ground or through somebody to ground...
Sensitive enough that the shock might still hurt, but it should trip before the current kills you.
Matches my training when I was an EMT -- First thing drilled into us was 'Scene Safety' which translated to making sure there wasn't anything trying to hurt/kill us lol
Regarding the "mens rea" part, maybe I'm mistaken but I think the way it works is whether the person intended to do the action, rather than the outcome; i.e. what matters is that he knew he was zapping her with electricity that was connected to the mains (and that a reasonable person could foresee that death was a logical outcome), not necessarily whether he was trying to kill her when he did so. For example, someone stabbing a person would be guilty. Perhaps though, rather than homicide, manslaughter might've been more appropriate?
Part of the issue here - I suspect - is that we only have the person's word that she consented. It's akin to the situation where people have murdered their partner by strangling them and then later claim it was just "rough sex".
Also that she had already been rendered unconscious and he then claimed to take over shocking her, multiple times. Until she died. He absolutely murdered her. He knew she was hurt and kept at it until her death.
Moreover, they had multiple witnesses , coworkers, who he had conversed with and said "If I ever decide to kill my wife, I'll make it look like a kinky sex accident. "
While that has no evidentiary value (as hearsay) the prosecution used it as proof of his state of mind. Luckily they didn't need to prove he killed his wife, he admitted that, just convince a jury that he murdered her rather than being negligently responsible for an accident.
in the US they have different degrees of murder, of which the lower levels probably incorporate what would be considered more voluntary forms of manslaughter in some other countries
Literally having to get a boiler replaced right now because of a tiny (but still there) amount of Carbon Monoxide leaking from the old one.
Basically had if switched off for about 2 weeks and had to live the way your grandparents always tell you they did in the 50s; cold water bathing at the sink; a kettle or two to warm it up, if lucky.
Fortunately it's a council house or I would be extremely broke right now.
Worst true/lie fake/fact involving coitus was the guy who got red pepper flakes up into his deekhoe as a result of probing a rear ass-ault on someone who previously ingested them.
Gives a whole new meaning to _"firehose."_
It's worth noting that outlets in the US, wall outlets only carry 120V at 15 - 20 amps, rather than the 230V at 3 - 13 amps in UK outlets. You can shock yourself with a wall outlet in the US without killing or even seriously injuring yourself. The main danger from being shocked by 120V is that it can make your muscles contract, making it impossible to release or move away from the thing shocking you. It can also make your heart stop if the shock hits your system at the exact right (wrong?) time. Pretty much any other death from 120V is an outlier.
Insert Richard Gere Rumor Here. Allegedly
That "glueing one's cock shut" had me curled up into a ball. *shudder
20 percent here!
Please tell Shealth to make a sportsbra for big boobie girls that lifts, separates and is EASY to put on!
It's only a matter of time, esp if the creator gets/has busty woman in his circle. Fingers crossed!
Yes!
7:40 A legendary response to various probing questions right there. "None that can be detected my good man!"
Although don't use it in an airport.
Scene safety is a top priority for first responders. You don't want to potentially increase the number of victims
The cutaway segway game is on-point here.
Effort HAS been made!
More men than women watch Blaze? I love your program and never thought it was geared towards one sex or another. I am a woman though my name can be for a man or a woman. I’m not a Kimberly. Just a Kim. Anyway, you can see by my tangent that I find many points of Brain Blaze enjoyable and informative.
This was an unexpected emotional roller coaster
You just blew my mind, Simon! 🤯
Us ladies Really only represent 20% of your listeners?! 😮
I need to get more women clocked on to your great content!
Sam, masterful edit, my good man!
Oh yea a Darwin awards🎉
100% true. Make the scene safe before any first aid!
Blaze me Tangent Boy! I need it today. Cheers
@13:33 ish Depending on where you are in the world, car battery =12v dc whereas standard electrical socket: US: 110v ac, Europe: 220v ac.
my mouth hit the floor. Why, why why why why why. What on Earth would make anyone think that would be a healthy idea.
Simon, with having spent 23 years of my life in retail, I can honestly say that when you said FACING UP, the hair on my neck stood up.
you are safe from lightning in a car because of the "shell effect". Electiricty will take the past of leest resistance, and will travel aound the outside of the metal.
Just hope you aren't touching the shell.
@@RHCole Still doesnt matter
@@AnotherPointOfView944Ok, you go touch a car door handle while lightning strikes the car and report back.
@@RHCole ive seen a demostration at Boston MIT where a guy was in a human size bird cage, and lightning was hitting the out side of the cage while he was touching the inside of the cage. He could of been pressing his member against the cage and been ok. Science bitch!
@@RHCole Its been demonstrated with a lightning generator and a car with man inside. Google it. Electricity takes the shortest path to ground, which is around the metal work, and if you are inside the car touching the metal, you are not on the shortest path. Check your facts.
“You have to pull it out!” Finally! (This would have behooved us all in the 1st story Elmer!)
Always good when Simon uses his Law Degree to sling those facts! #FreeToby