I think she sought it out to understand her brother's death, and process it, and rationalize it. This is grief. She doesn't understand why he didn't love her enough to quit. And if she quits that means he could have. She needs to forgive him and recover. That is the way she can still save him.
this is possible. the way she talks about being sick tho imo you’re right about why she seeked it out but once you start you’re trapped. you’re using so you aren’t sick and if you’re predisposed to the disease genetically that’s another layer
This is an old friend of mine. According to one of her daughters she is still in the Los Angeles area and hasn’t been heard from in over a month. They are very concerned and worried about her. Amanda, Mandy, I hope and pray you are ok. If you see this please call someone. You are loved girly.
Lost my mother to drugs and alcohol. I’m praying for this woman they feel nothing when they’re high the family feels the pain and when they’re gone, it can destroy the children we need our parents, especially our mommies.😢🙏💪💔
Just because you're honest with your kids doesn't mean that it makes things better. I do applaud you for having the courage to tell them but at the end of the day you're passing on trauma that they didn't ask for. I hope you can turn this around for them if not for yourself. Best of luck.
I immediately thought this too - “I want to honor and respect my kids by being honest with them”. It doesn’t ease their distress or suffering in any way to know more information. Giving them too much information that they have no control over surely only increases their distress
the opioid crisis is a serious problem in America and we need more awareness on this issue. From an ex heroin addict thanks for making videos like this
You hit it spot on! And I'm so happy to read you're on your sober journey, what a blessing that is!! Keep trucking, you never know who you will inspire thru your comment here...even if it's just one person, you've done the job! Thank you 😊 so much for this awareness that is So Very True!! This opioid crisis is Insane nowadays and there has Got to be a way to deal with it and slow it down if not stop it altogether. Peace and positive vibes to you, my SWU fam! 💯💛💙💛💙
Heroin and fetanyl are two different beasts. The tolerance is so much quicker and you withdraw 5 times a day that’s why it’s so dangerous. Heroin you take once and you where at lest not sick the whole day.
What are you talking about? The opioid crisis has been a headline for over a decade with countless people reporting on it and countless headlines. Everybody is aware of it and fent is the major news story every other week. The only thing people need to be aware if is that is your only goal in life is purely hedonistic nonsense you are going to suffer and probably die early.
She reminds me so much of my story… I got clean after about 4 years of addiction. I’ve been clean for 3+ years now! I hope you’re able to heal your pain and find a way off of the hard stuff ❤
Awesome. Keep up the good work and stay determined. Staying away from people and environments that are a temptation. Helping others by sharing your story is helpful too.
Just had one of my ex-employees overdose on this stuff literally yesterday morning. Got prescribed pain killers after a surgery and spiraled from there. We paid for his rehab twice to try and help him out but if you don’t change your environment/lifestyle it’s going to be hard to really break that addiction. Guy made $300k a year, had a wife, owned his house, all the stereotypical things that people measure success by. This drug is killing too many solid people.
i lost my wife to drug addiction 10 years ago. I say lost, not in relation to life or death, but she stopped being in a relationship with me and our sun. First it was oxycodone, then heroin, followed by fentanyl and then crack finally drove a wedge between us, all of us, including her son. She finally left us for a crack head who would provide her with her drug of choice. I think my son and I did our best for her, but it wasn't really about us. I'm hopeful that she figures out her self worth one day. She is one heck of a lady, she just doesn't realize it. The thing is that she needs to figure it out for herself. I can't solve her issues for her, neither can our 15 year old son Christopher. We love her and will be there for her, regardless if she decides to return to our family unit. I'm from Los Angeles, specifically Glendale, but now live in Pittsburgh. I miss her presence so very much. God bless her and you all!
Very hard story that. Stay in Pittsburgh for a bit away from it all. Christopher doesn't need to be around that. Maybe one day his lovely mammy will come back. Greetings from Dublin Ireland ☘️
Ur a stand up person to love her regardless of what she’s done to ur family unit. And to still have nice things to say about her is definitely not the norm but I guess it’s better to not bash her to ur son
Many years an addict myself, many years of living and working in a large rehabilitation facility for addiction, there is one universal truth that I have discovered. That only YOU can break the cycle of addiction.
Amanda, I listened. I hear you. I heard many things in your interview but what struck me the most is that you had someone in your life, your brother, that was "there for you", always. I feel that in some way, you are mirroring his behavior and subconsciously this makes you feel closer to him. I'm not saying this to be accusatory or mean. I've spent quite a few years on the topic of Death & Dying, which hopefully explains my words. Your brother is still around you and you can learn how to align yourself with his energy. I am sure he would not want you to destroy yourself with substances. I think you should reach out for some help with the grief from the loss of your brother. Best of luck to you and please do not wait too long. 💜
There has to be way more to her story that she didn't share. Being 40 and having a 24 year old; being married for 22 years. A lot of masking major issues IMO. Bless her.
Of course, her marriage and kids were her whole life/identity and it was stripped away, people often kill themselves in similar situations, it's not easy.
absolutely, but this is HER turn to share her story. she’s put on the spot to air out her trauma to thousands of people, she’s already so incredibly vulnerable and gets to decide WHAT she shares. she’s already so so brave for sharing ANYTHING at all.
The last few years upended so many people's lives in so many ways. Now this smart, strong mother losing her brother, husband and children- she wasn't able to cope. Mental health is a silent problem and so grateful Mark is giving us different perspectives.
@@leanneadams2549 ayo cool off, don’t watch shit literally documenting the lifestyles of addicts if you’re gonna shit on them for being an addict. at least try to understand the disease
@Tina Tijerina .. pretty ignorant. of course it’s selfish but you have to understand how much disease takes away peoples’ power to control their lives. some more than others, but that’s what it does to everyone. she obviously cares deeply for her children but it’s a such a sickness
@@leanneadams2549 she definitely doesn’t think she’s a good mom. she has a disease & needs help. you obviously wouldn’t ever understand because your not an addict so don’t go calling anything disgusting. your a grown woman.
Wow. I can so relate to a lot of what this woman has been through. I’ve never done drugs, but I understand what she has gone through with a bad marriage, empty nest, loss of her brother (mine passed away in 2006)….. she has so much potential, I pray that this woman gets off these demon drugs and finds her light again.
I watch so many of Mark’s videos and this is one of the few addict interviews during which I felt truly hopeful that she can win this fight. She has family that loves her, she’s smart, she’s still relatively “new” in her addiction compared to many….I think with the right treatment and ongoing support she can find recovery and a wonderful life. Amanda if you’re reading these comments, I’m sending you love ❤ and wishing you all the best. Please keep Mark/us updated on your journey.
Amanda is so intelligent and has so much insight and yet, this drug is so powerful, she feels like she can't get out. Great interview. I hope Amanda finds her way out of this destructive cycle.
She's sounds like every other addict that hasn't been on rock bottom very long. Jails institution and death is all the future holds if she doesn't turn around. I know because I've been to all 3 multiple times. She can't do it for anyone but her. It's easier to escape reality than to face it. I pray you seek help baby girl. You got a lot of love to give. Don't throw it away
Ive been listening and trying to think of something to say. I can tell I really like Amanda and it would not be impossible to know a person like her. But your comment has the insight that I do not. So thank you for saying something that I consider meaningful for Amanda to read. PS Glad you were able to see your way out! 💜{{{hugs}}}
This is a different story. It is interesting how she just woke up one day and decided to become a user. - I can hear the fent. It is so lethal. - She knows what to do. It is hard to save someone from themselves.
Im wondering what you mean by “ I can hear the fent.” Do you mean that raspy voice of hers,bc I wondered if it affects your respiratory system.? I’ve heard it in quite a few people who are users. Wow, this fentanyl is the devil straight up!!
@@494ava not literally, although she is raspy. It is the mindset. Watch a few of Mark's videos and there are traits of how this drug "sounds". It is also the choice of words, such as "medicine". They tend to drift in thought in odd spots as if they are falling asleep. There is deep mental thought, yet at any moment you are still in the same conversational circle. There are patterns that you can hear and see. - I know drugs in general create these changes, I just see some specific traits in fent. Once in a great while you will hear Mark mention specific characteristics.
I truly appreciate these interviews on this channel. Thank you for bringing attention to this crisis. I used to frequent skid row during the time I was homeless in LA and crossed paths with a lot of the people being interviewed. Hearing their stories on here is important where as back on and around 6th & San Pedro or 7th & Metro in DTLA, we just avoided each other. Only thing I ask is someone has to interview the Blue line Hustleman. A skid row resident & LA staple that hustles everyday on the LA Metro Blue line selling snacks, candy, water, Gatorade, t-shirts, etc. I would love to hear his story.
This video triggered me. I turned into a meth addict at the age of 41 and she reminds me of myself. I’ve been clean for 3 years though. And I’m clean because I don’t want to hurt my daughters (21 & 16) AGAIN. It’s so weird that hearing her story makes me want to go down that road again. Geesh. What a strange feeling. I obviously need therapy. 🤦🏼♀️ i have faith in her though. She’s going to get clean. Please keep us updated on her.
I think just hearing about it can trigger us!! I hope you fought threw ! But if not you know what it takes and what it’s like to be clean !!! Your a much better mother than this thing !! I pray your doing well!!!
Losing your identity as a mother and wife can lead you to feeling lost and empty. It appears that she needs to work on her identity as a person so that she can find her purpose.
@Carla Burgos I AGREE 1000% I had my children very young & when my youngest left for College I was lost... 😔 Similar to post partum depression I think?
My heart hurts so bad for her, as a 24 year old woman who’s been an opiate addict for almost 12 years… for her to have went half of her life without being addicted to opiates… it’s sad. I think she sought out to see what took her brother from her, and got hooked on the feeling (or lack thereof) for all of you talking shit about her being honest with her children, as a child with addict parents I wish they would’ve been honest with me, regardless. I pray she finds the strength to walk away from this, find the help she needs and to mend her relationship with her daughters and family. ❤❤
That’s why people like u just don’t get it. Rehab is nothing but a way for the rich to get richer. Until a person is done with drugs and can get sick and tired the rollercoaster that’s when a rehab might help. no rehab can change u. And she’s not ready. Period
@@theoriginaldeity There are actually quite a few medications used to treat opioid withdrawal in medically supervised detox programs. Suboxone, Subutex, Vivitrol, Methadone, Lofexidine, Clonidine, and Trazodone, to name a few.
@@MrLogical79 ive been on suboxone almost 4 mos after a 10 yr opiate addiction,prescribed by my pain Dr. Theyve saved my life and my sanity. Im 62 yrs old.
The level of self awareness she has will either be what saves her or her downfall. I pray she can get out of this. She could possibly help people see this addiction in a different more introspective way. But like she said she can’t always rely on a drug as her exit plan or safety net.
Right especially at 3 years into her addiction. At 3 years at mine I loved getting high and didn't think anything I was doing was wrong. It took 6 years total for me to get sober. At 32 I'm sober and caught 3 felonies within those 6 years it ruined me but I will not let it hinder me in life I'll keep living and sober life fine
@@visualreaction9738 again this is not a political issue, trump obviously made the problem worse and not helped it. @SmarterThanTheApp ... Sorry to inform you that this issue is not politically based, China, Japan, India and Pakistan are some of the few countries shipping directly to both American dealers and Canadian dealers whom are cutting into this in their own home based labs now, do you expect America to stop all shipments from these countries coming in? With both fentanyl coming in across both the Mexican and Canadian borders now is a wall going to be successfully built on the Canadian side as well unlike trump's failed promise on building the wall at the Mexico border completely during his term in office and now many of you are blaming Biden for trump's failed promise that he said was completed before he left office in which as everyone sees it was never completed at all. Hell parts of it could not even stand up to winds which was proven on video by shady construction. But is America going to put up borders on both the Mexican and Canadian borders now? Of course not. how about the narcotic called "Pyro" spreading through the UK now and starting to spread into other EU coming countries? Much deadlier than fentanyl, is America going to stop all packages coming in from Europe as well. Think before you make another political comment that is not caused by democrats alone. How about you study the 2016 CDC guidelines that Melania trump suggested and Donald placed into law that stopped many doctors from issuing opioids only to have dealers see the opportunity to make money unfortunately while taking lives in the process to fill the gap to those suddenly cut off their own scripts
@@erickiyoshiphillips2323 I admire your dedication to being sober bc it’s not at all easy! Keep kicking Addiction’s Ass,bc you got a team out here who will help you! Love blessings and strength my friend! You got this!💪🏼🫶🏽
I feel like she can be a bodybuilder or into fitness, she is built well. My bestfriend was completely addicted to fent and opiates he is now completely into fitness and health. Replaced one addiction with another. The difference is it's a much healthier addiction
Yes!!!! This is exactly what I was going to say. If she can redirect her energy into something positive she has the perfect physique to get into fitness or even be a trainer.
Totally agree! I have been training for years and my triceps don't compare! If she trained for just a year she would have incredible athletic ability and exercise is a healthier addiction than fentanyl.
Good Morning! Its just after 3:00 a.m. here in Northern California where it is currently a sweet 42*. I hope that wherever this message may find you, you are safe, content, & comfortable. From my heart to yours, Much Love! 🤟🙃
Being "New" in addiction doesn't mean you can easily stop. That's when I was at my worst. That fire exploded inside me and the beginning is when it burned the brightest.
I’m hysterical. Amanda describes her brother exactly how mine is/was. We were so close. A piece of me has died, with him. I know exactly how she feels. To the T.
I feel sorry for her just for the fact of having to tell such an incoherent story to get her next high or just to get attention. So she got married at 15 and after the death of her brother and a break up after 22 years she has no other idea than to get addicted to heroin without knowing how to use the filth, does that make sense? She is ashamed to inform her family, who can now find out more via youtube, but Aamanda is not afraid to demean herself for the drug. Does it make sense? She describes herself as mentally and emotionally intelligent and can't find her way to a therapist, throwing rehab programs while feeling sorry for herself and her daughters. Does it make sense? One of the central problems of addiction is self-deception and lies... Whatever else this woman suffers from - drug problem, attention seeking - she has a massive mental problem and needs professional help...
Ehh, I’m a heroin addict, I’ve met quite a few addicts who don’t know how to shoot it. They have people do it for them. There’s also a lot of women who were married very young, especially in the ‘Christian’ fundamentalist groups. There a few states they control with very low age limits for marriage. One just recently passed a bill removing age limits and suspiciously left out the parental consent stipulation in this new bill. If I remember correctly it was Kansas last year. So I could believe she was married at 15 and got into heroin before she knew how to use it. It’s not so uncommon.
@@myeyeswentdeaf6213 First of all, I hope you are well and thanks for your reply. I just listened and noticed a few inconsistencies. It's not uncommon for people to get married at fifteen and have children on this channel. I've long since got an idea of this big country and yes, you're certainly right when you emphasize that the level of information can vary greatly. But... Anyway, have a good time.
It's called addiction. That's the term you're trying to find while you're being so exhaustively verbose and judgmental. Upper-class White Chicks can have addictions. Addiction knows no race, color, sexuality, employment conditions, housing conditions, earning potential or parental status. It's addiction. People suffer from it it may be the first hit that gets you and yes that is the person's Choice originally after that the hell you have to pay to stay well is very steep. A lot of times that a person decides to go get help it's not enough and it's just a body Mill disability insurance and kick your ass out without any Tools in which to stay sober
@@ddz1375 If judgmental in your sense means closing your eyes and shutting up, then freedom of opinion is not very far off. You don't have to define me what addiction means. According to Aaron Antonovsky's salutogenesis, coherence is characterized, among other things, by the conviction that one can shape one's own life. The feeling of manageability. & The belief that life has a purpose. The sense of purpose. Do you sincerely believe that this woman in her condition fulfills these aspects? Before you lecture from the pulpit, think about it, above all have a good time and stay healthy. ;)
Amanda, check out Gabor Mate. Also, check out iboga centers for healing from the addiction. Iboga is plant medicine of the Bwiti people. At a basic level it's used as a stimulant for hunting. But it's a powerful plant ally, a Spirit of reconnecting. Addiction is disconnection. I'm 41. We are young. We have a whole life to live ahead of us. You got this. The wounded healer archetype is strong in you. Be brave.
Good morning SWU Family!! It’s 6:07am in Florida and we’re enjoying another great video from Mark!! Blessings to All!! Pray for the addicted and those that love them ❤
throwing ones life away is a choice she's is getting what she deserves and the kids and family who depend on her are living the consequences of her actions...she can talk about it, and live it out with her drugs indiscriminate looking for love in all the wrong places (so to speak) are a result of her own actions....Living is a verb and she's doing it...boo hoo...
@@annaMlisa513 you are a disgrace like your governor who has the worst state according to dea maps of the established cartels set up labs across America today. Yet everyone knows in Florida that he's running for president.
i’m a 30 year opiate addict heroin,now methadone and been to detox 5x it’s not that bed lol it’s the worst!!!,i’ve spent £25k,also there’s going to detox for others 😂 NOPE that won’t work,then there’s staying off MMMMmmmm 🤔ing BBBBBBBBBB all day every day !!!.what’s the saying “walk a mile in a person’s shoes”
@@ashleyyy1 Child... Actually i have. ITS NOT THAT BAD considering the latter. You can do it. Anyone can. Ill send good vibes and prayers your way. Just trying to be positive. :D
Hearing her entire story has really broke my heart. I am a active addict myself now but off only my own scripts in which is enough for me never to turn to the streets ever and prior to this, I was married to another addict before I realized what it was truly like being addict and I had no clue how wrong it was, she had dragged us both down totally in every way imaginable prior to her prison sentence and death. I totally have been in both Amanda shoes and her boyfriends shoes alike now of days and understand how this impacted both of their lives. Amanda I feel is a amazing person though and I do not feel like she is bad in anyway. I hope now that she only works on her recovery, herself and her children without turning back to her old ways.
She's built like a wrestler,or a UFC fighter. And she has the personality of a fighter as well. If you read this Amanda, I love you and your story. Bless you.
What a lovely woman. I don’t have addiction in my family, but the last few years I often thank God that opioids are not easily available to me, because I get why people take them.
In all kindness, You want an idea. The only thing I can tell you is that until you are willing to feel the pain, live through it and get destroyed by it, you will keep going back to using drugs. I totally empathize with where you are at.
From personal experience, an honest rehab that provides full mental health care (providing access to a psychiatrist) along with MAT is your best chance. Also, go home. You think you're saving your family by staying away, but that's just the addiction speaking to you. I hope you find the will. It takes so much. But you can do it, I truly believe you can.
From someone who has worked with reoccurring addicts, I know it's hard to watch and a few do recover. Unfortunately, most have a sickness that can't be cured or fixed, you have to let them go, cut them off, and let them do to themselves what they want, until they fix themselves or otherwise.
Please seek out an NA meeting while you are in L.A. I think things might become clearer in your mind and you will meet amazing people. Good Luck and God Bless you.
I like her. She remind me of myself A LOT. I too lost my little brother to this too. In September. Ive been clean 8YRS thank God. Wish he could’ve got to this point 😔 🙏♥️
I am sorry bc this is going to be an unpopular opinion...the only thing that I think of her is SELFISH!! She has kids that she is responsible for and who love and need her! We all have had some major trauma in our lives and our first thought in our late 30's is NOT to actively seek out heroin!! Esp after she knows the pain of losing her brother to an OD!! She has even admitted to OD'ing at least 10x. She doesnt think about her kids at all. Not before actively seeking out the drug and not now! She is not a mother in my eyes, she is just a selfish woman! If she has no coming skills at 37...go to therapy and learn them!!
Also to add, as someone who just battled a very aggressive firm of cancer that will likely come back some day, it really irks me that she said it is a disease!! Yes I know that ince your brain is hard wired differently due to drug usage, it is classed as a disease. BUT she knew that going in when she actively sought out this 'disease'. She saw it first hand with her brother and unless she lives under a rock and/or is braindead, she knew all about the opioid crisis all around her at the age of 37!!!
She said alot of words without saying much. I still have no idea exactly what major trauma drove an upper middle-class suburban 37-year old to hang out in the hood, looking for heroin which she knew nothing about. My ADD kicked in, so maybe I missed the details.
Her divorce, her brother died of overdose and they were close and she has a family history of addiction, 3 triggers there she outlined. I’m her age, I went through divorce recently, 2 kids and my dad died also recently. I’m isolated from my family because of my abusive ex husband. I could turn to drugs, but I won’t. I have had many childhood trauma, sexual abuse. I don’t do drugs, drink. I try to focus on coping mechanisms that will help me. I feel like my one addiction is sex addiction, but it’s not like I sleep around, I get addicted to a sex partner and I fear they will leave me. I have BPD
@@wilson8979I'm a man in a very similar situation. I wish you all the love and happiness that life can bring and I hope you have a beautiful day sweetheart.
@@wilson8979 I hear you but I think she blew smoke so she could leave out major details. Usually opiate addiction stems from childhood trauma or Rx drugs. If family history had such a big effect, it wouldn't lay dormant for 37 whole years. Divorce and death of a sibling happens to ppl everyday and most don't jump on heroin. Her story just seemed incomplete.
I am not diminishing the pain she feels from losing her brother, nor the family history of addiction. However, she did not see her significance in this world, otherwise she would not have turned to drugs. I believe she no longer felt needed. To find a cause she believes in and to devote herself to it could help her find her purpose. I hope she can kick this habit and grasp how very loved she is.
She's not afraid of dying, she's afraid to live. Actively seeking coping mechanisms to remain numb seems like you are aware of the triggers but afraid to face it.
I think she answered her own question, when she asked if the interviewer had any ideas or advice...previously she said that there was a "disconnect." I sense that her life has not gone the way she wanted it to, and that more importantly she doesn't know what or how to get to that place of knowing what she wants. So she consciously disconnected from that confusion. The drugs are her way of coping with the unknown, that in her, is equivalent to the pain.
Fentanyl ain't no joke. I remember when the Dr gave it to me when I was having a heart attack and I started hallucinating before I went out and woke up to being rolled back to my room. I hear about so many people passing away from it and it breaks my heart. I really hope she gets better and finds a healthy alternate to dealing with the pain. Definitely praying for her and anyone else dealing with any kind of addiction
You are correct. They gave it to me during a surgery. I had horrible hallucinations. The same thing happened when they gave been pain pills that were opioids.i decided to use extra strength Tylenol and lots of bed rest. Later I got into physical therapy and I learned stretching techniques that help .. the physical therapist also used therapeutic message. The pain pills I will never use and I have had multiple surgeries
@@carolmcdade4081 all fentynol is synthetic, fentynol is fentynol, street fentynol maybe cut with other drugs, but the fentynol itself is not different, there is such thing as iso-fentynol, but that is a different drug. It's an analog of fentynol.
In November of 2022 my sibling was murdered by police during a psychosis episode - It is the hardest thing I've ever done to not go out and drink and take every drug under the sun. I'll be 5 years clean and sober in March I can't fuck this up now. This ladys story is WAY too fucking close to home for me. Its like looking in a mirror in so many ways it terrifies me to the core.
I am so sincerely sorry for your loss. And so glad to hear that you're still holding on to your sobriety. Big hugs and much love to you, and your brother 🖤🤍✨️
Whoever helped you get sober, or whatever higher power - lead hard on that or them now. My SIL got clean after 30 years and then her daughter died suddenly (from a virus). Her sobriety family lifted her up and miraculously she is still sober.
There are a lot of things in this lady's story that just don't add up. She's 40 years old. Her oldest daughter is 24. She was married for 22 years. She started using at 37. She had a relationship with a guy since she was 38. She's OD'd more than 10 times. She holds herself out as an example for what her children should NOT be... I've gone to 1000's of 12 Step Meetings. This just doesn't pass the smell test...
Amanda if you see this it’s not to late I’m sorry for your loss but you have so much to live for you have a loving family and kids that love you and I’m sure your brother would not want you living this lifestyle your kids need they mom don’t give up
It's hard for a person to remain in a relationship with an addict. The addiction is the most important thing, it comes before everyone and anything else. It's at the center, the core of their lives, and no matter how much they think and say, and cry about how much they care about other things, or family, or children, it's not true. When it comes to their words, they will say anything that allows them to continue in the addiction. Addiction is the most demanding master of a person.
I’ve talked to a couple of people who were ‘cut off’ their rx pain meds and ended up on ‘dirty’ street drugs as they said. It makes me wonder how well that opioid legislation is working?? Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to at least be monitored by an MD on rx meds?? I heard Seattle has run out of room to store the bodies of overdose victims… its so tragic. ☮️
I actually struggled to connect with this video. Mostly I just ache for her children, for some reason I just didn’t feel she was genuine. But looking at the comments I think I’m definitely the minority. I wish you well, beautiful woman
Wow... this is crazy. This is my cousin. Her daughters are the best, they are great! The last thing I heard from them is that she is missing. They haven't heard from her since the last time I saw them. That was a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully someone can let them know she's okay
1.) You have to hate it just a little more than you love it 2.) You have to be sick of your own bullshit When those 2 things happen you can begin to LIVE again. Only then can you climb out of that dark hole of despair and hopelessness. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You should interview a homeless TH-camr/TikToker who is currently homeless in LA by the name of “Daniel Larson.” He has quite the internet following due to his eccentric character and would be an interesting interview for sure. Keep up the good work! 👍
I appreciate her willingness to share her story, her vulnerability and honesty with us. I really do hope she gets help. She’s right, life doesn’t have to be so hard. That said, she is in control of that herself right now. Been there, and I recall turning help away, too. So I’m not judging, just being factual.
Great to be able to analyze the problem and reasons for it, but without the desire to get well and stay sober, the analysis is of little use. Sometimes we feel guilt because we are guilty... It can be our call to change.
One of the more annoying videos on here. She seems very proud of her addiction. Too bad for those who actually care. It must be super irritating for her kids. She needs to grow up.
It's great to give these folks a platform. Amazing how most of the comments are positive. It's nothing to applaud. Very hard to even understand anything but a lot of justification. And indulgence. Gets kind of boring!
Amanda wants viewers to believe she's from an "upper-middle class" background and that she's educated & has always known how to navigate things before her descent into heroin addiction. Though, she said that she's 40 & her oldest is 24 which means she was 16 when she gave birth to her. Whether because of shame or guilt it seems that she's white-washed her pre-iv drug use. If both parents are alcoholics & her brother was a heroin addict, it stands to reason that her upbringing was shaky & unstable. What she really needs is something like the show "Intervention," where the family (her ex-husband & girls) arrange in advance to have a drug rehab counselor & the transportation to rehab so she can make the decision & be expected to follow through with it. Just sayin.
Hi, her brother had and intervention show. I’ve tried to find contact for them so I could get her into their program but I’ve had no luck. I’m Amanda’s daughter by the way. If you have any contact information for that show I would appreciate it. Thank you
I know this is older, but as I’m just now seeing it. I am very close to this woman (I don’t wish to disclose how) and would just like to clarify that almost 98% of every word was a lie. I wish she could be honest, and then maybe we could finally see some change.
Starting off rough. “Almost 100% of the time I’m honest with my kids”. So maybe 99% of the time honest? 1% of the time I’m unfaithful to my partner. Am I unfaithful to my wife since 99% of the time I’m faithful? I think I would be 100% unfaithful.
I’m an avid fan of yours and this one just put me in a depressed mode I had to leave it. Now I know why you use Better Health. Too bad my insurance doesn’t cover this one. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy your channel. Thank you, Mark.
My experience was, addicted to opiates and alcohol for almost 20 years. I had been in and out of psyche wards, the rooms of AA and NA and none of it worked. It was only when I got down on my knees and surrendered my life to Christ was I able to be lifted out of darkness. Life is not perfect, but I am grateful for the life I have.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
I think she sought it out to understand her brother's death, and process it, and rationalize it. This is grief. She doesn't understand why he didn't love her enough to quit. And if she quits that means he could have. She needs to forgive him and recover. That is the way she can still save him.
this needs to be pinned and get to Amanda
Couldn't have said it better ourselves!
this is possible. the way she talks about being sick tho imo you’re right about why she seeked it out but once you start you’re trapped. you’re using so you aren’t sick and if you’re predisposed to the disease genetically that’s another layer
Wow beautiful!! 💯
Absolutely spot on
This is an old friend of mine. According to one of her daughters she is still in the Los Angeles area and hasn’t been heard from in over a month. They are very concerned and worried about her. Amanda, Mandy, I hope and pray you are ok. If you see this please call someone. You are loved girly.
www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/112973/details?nav
please reach out to me! i might have a possible lead.
Any updates??
Comment below says she was found deceased @@user-gv6kd9sv6j
Lost my mother to drugs and alcohol. I’m praying for this woman they feel nothing when they’re high the family feels the pain and when they’re gone, it can destroy the children we need our parents, especially our mommies.😢🙏💪💔
Just because you're honest with your kids doesn't mean that it makes things better. I do applaud you for having the courage to tell them but at the end of the day you're passing on trauma that they didn't ask for. I hope you can turn this around for them if not for yourself. Best of luck.
It's almost like ovetsharing an addiction with the ones who love you so much appears to be an attempt to gain addiction acceptance imo.
I have trauma and kids and I always wish I could tell everyone to work on their trauma before they have kids
I immediately thought this too - “I want to honor and respect my kids by being honest with them”. It doesn’t ease their distress or suffering in any way to know more information. Giving them too much information that they have no control over surely only increases their distress
@@ingrowntownail1882 well aren’t we accept everything now? It seems the way society has/is become.
She needs to get honest with herself. All she does is make excuses...
the opioid crisis is a serious problem in America and we need more awareness on this issue. From an ex heroin addict thanks for making videos like this
You hit it spot on! And I'm so happy to read you're on your sober journey, what a blessing that is!! Keep trucking, you never know who you will inspire thru your comment here...even if it's just one person, you've done the job! Thank you 😊 so much for this awareness that is So Very True!! This opioid crisis is Insane nowadays and there has Got to be a way to deal with it and slow it down if not stop it altogether. Peace and positive vibes to you, my SWU fam! 💯💛💙💛💙
Heroin and fetanyl are two different beasts. The tolerance is so much quicker and you withdraw 5 times a day that’s why it’s so dangerous. Heroin you take once and you where at lest not sick the whole day.
What are you talking about? The opioid crisis has been a headline for over a decade with countless people reporting on it and countless headlines. Everybody is aware of it and fent is the major news story every other week. The only thing people need to be aware if is that is your only goal in life is purely hedonistic nonsense you are going to suffer and probably die early.
Fentanyl is the "cure" for it. One body bag at a time...
I've been saved from the crisis by using kratom for six years now, after ten years of "pain management". My doctor was my drug dealer.
She reminds me so much of my story… I got clean after about 4 years of addiction.
I’ve been clean for 3+ years now!
I hope you’re able to heal your pain and find a way off of the hard stuff ❤
Congratulations on your sobriety 🎉
You're doing well, and I'm rooting for you. Please stay on course, and God Bless!
❤❤❤
I'm on subs but I take benzos with them so I'm not clean
Awesome. Keep up the good work and stay determined. Staying away from people and environments that are a temptation. Helping others by sharing your story is helpful too.
Just had one of my ex-employees overdose on this stuff literally yesterday morning. Got prescribed pain killers after a surgery and spiraled from there. We paid for his rehab twice to try and help him out but if you don’t change your environment/lifestyle it’s going to be hard to really break that addiction. Guy made $300k a year, had a wife, owned his house, all the stereotypical things that people measure success by. This drug is killing too many solid people.
This exact situation is happening to so many people that aren’t “drug users”. All it takes is a health crisis with chronic pain and you’re gone
taking too many PEOPLE. solid or not
300k you hiring?
"solid"? Every human deserves to live a life not being addicted to drugs. Dope doesn't discriminate!
@@texasktea That’s exactly the point they’re trying to make. That it is hitting all demographics badly.
i lost my wife to drug addiction 10 years ago. I say lost, not in relation to life or death, but she stopped being in a relationship with me and our sun. First it was oxycodone, then heroin, followed by fentanyl and then crack finally drove a wedge between us, all of us, including her son. She finally left us for a crack head who would provide her with her drug of choice. I think my son and I did our best for her, but it wasn't really about us. I'm hopeful that she figures out her self worth one day. She is one heck of a lady, she just doesn't realize it. The thing is that she needs to figure it out for herself. I can't solve her issues for her, neither can our 15 year old son Christopher. We love her and will be there for her, regardless if she decides to return to our family unit. I'm from Los Angeles, specifically Glendale, but now live in Pittsburgh. I miss her presence so very much. God bless her and you all!
Sending hugs ❤❤❤
Very hard story that. Stay in Pittsburgh for a bit away from it all. Christopher doesn't need to be around that. Maybe one day his lovely mammy will come back. Greetings from Dublin Ireland ☘️
Ur a stand up person to love her regardless of what she’s done to ur family unit. And to still have nice things to say about her is definitely not the norm but I guess it’s better to not bash her to ur son
U sound like a sweetie pie. I’m sorry for all the hurt. She can decide to get better. You all deserve it
Many years an addict myself, many years of living and working in a large rehabilitation facility for addiction, there is one universal truth that I have discovered. That only YOU can break the cycle of addiction.
Amanda,
I listened. I hear you. I heard many things in your interview but what struck me the most is that you had someone in your life, your brother, that was "there for you", always. I feel that in some way, you are mirroring his behavior and subconsciously this makes you feel closer to him. I'm not saying this to be accusatory or mean. I've spent quite a few years on the topic of Death & Dying, which hopefully explains my words.
Your brother is still around you and you can learn how to align yourself with his energy. I am sure he would not want you to destroy yourself with substances. I think you should reach out for some help with the grief from the loss of your brother. Best of luck to you and please do not wait too long. 💜
how would you advise her to align with his energy?
There has to be way more to her story that she didn't share. Being 40 and having a 24 year old; being married for 22 years. A lot of masking major issues IMO. Bless her.
Of course, her marriage and kids were her whole life/identity and it was stripped away, people often kill themselves in similar situations, it's not easy.
absolutely, but this is HER turn to share her story. she’s put on the spot to air out her trauma to thousands of people, she’s already so incredibly vulnerable and gets to decide WHAT she shares. she’s already so so brave for sharing ANYTHING at all.
Amanda, hold yourself accountable and get help. You can do it.
Exactly….Hold Yourself Accountable,No more excuses. Been there Done that its possible, your girls need you 🙏🏽
The last few years upended so many people's lives in so many ways. Now this smart, strong mother losing her brother, husband and children- she wasn't able to cope. Mental health is a silent problem and so grateful Mark is giving us different perspectives.
all the time you spend avoiding pain is far worse than just feeling it & releasing it.
So true!!
So sad for her daughters. Her worst fear is causing them trauma and pain. She has already done that and continues to.
Right ! And she thinks just because she talks about it that she’s being a good mom. Truly disgusting!!
Mother of the year.
@@leanneadams2549 ayo cool off, don’t watch shit literally documenting the lifestyles of addicts if you’re gonna shit on them for being an addict. at least try to understand the disease
@Tina Tijerina .. pretty ignorant. of course it’s selfish but you have to understand how much disease takes away peoples’ power to control their lives. some more than others, but that’s what it does to everyone. she obviously cares deeply for her children but it’s a such a sickness
@@leanneadams2549 she definitely doesn’t think she’s a good mom. she has a disease & needs help. you obviously wouldn’t ever understand because your not an addict so don’t go calling anything disgusting. your a grown woman.
Wow. I can so relate to a lot of what this woman has been through. I’ve never done drugs, but I understand what she has gone through with a bad marriage, empty nest, loss of her brother (mine passed away in 2006)….. she has so much potential, I pray that this woman gets off these demon drugs and finds her light again.
RIP to your brother
@@Phonoodles408 Thank you. My family was devastated! He was 48.
Me too ❤ going on 20 years losing my brother and it’s a pain that stays with you unfortunately. A horrible pain.
@@sammilyn8685 So sorry!
I watch so many of Mark’s videos and this is one of the few addict interviews during which I felt truly hopeful that she can win this fight. She has family that loves her, she’s smart, she’s still relatively “new” in her addiction compared to many….I think with the right treatment and ongoing support she can find recovery and a wonderful life. Amanda if you’re reading these comments, I’m sending you love ❤ and wishing you all the best. Please keep Mark/us updated on your journey.
Hard to believe with what is known about this drug that someone could pick up that habit so late in life??
Hi Lisa, I will copy and paste this message to my mom. Thank You for your kind words we appreciate it.
@@amayaclarke Are you her daughter?
she is now posted on a missing and unidentified page on fb. she was found deceased behind a 711 in Stcokton. no one has claimed her body :(
For real???😢
Thank you for the update: so so sad.
OMG!!! Is this true???
It does look a bit like her. When I paused the vid, it matches her features.
I hope her kids can grieve her in a healthy way
Amanda is so intelligent and has so much insight and yet, this drug is so powerful, she feels like she can't get out. Great interview. I hope Amanda finds her way out of this destructive cycle.
It’s crazy how she is still coherent and functional. Ppl who do hardcore drugs very often become balloon heads
I sure do love my momma, she’s amazing. Thank You for your kind words.
@@amayaclarke I'm so glad she has you in her life. It takes an amazing daughter to weather such a storm. Much love to you sweetie.
Woe to the children and loved ones of an addict.
She's sounds like every other addict that hasn't been on rock bottom very long. Jails institution and death is all the future holds if she doesn't turn around. I know because I've been to all 3 multiple times. She can't do it for anyone but her. It's easier to escape reality than to face it. I pray you seek help baby girl. You got a lot of love to give. Don't throw it away
Ive been listening and trying to think of something to say. I can tell I really like Amanda and it would not be impossible to know a person like her. But your comment has the insight that I do not. So thank you for saying something that I consider meaningful for Amanda to read. PS Glad you were able to see your way out! 💜{{{hugs}}}
This was another great interview. Raw & real. My prayers go out to you , to help heal your pain so you can move forward and get treatment
This is a different story. It is interesting how she just woke up one day and decided to become a user. - I can hear the fent. It is so lethal. - She knows what to do. It is hard to save someone from themselves.
Im wondering what you mean by “ I can hear the fent.” Do you mean that raspy voice of hers,bc I wondered if it affects your respiratory system.? I’ve heard it in quite a few people who are users. Wow, this fentanyl is the devil straight up!!
@@494ava I thought they meant she’s high during the interview
@@494ava not literally, although she is raspy. It is the mindset. Watch a few of Mark's videos and there are traits of how this drug "sounds". It is also the choice of words, such as "medicine". They tend to drift in thought in odd spots as if they are falling asleep. There is deep mental thought, yet at any moment you are still in the same conversational circle. There are patterns that you can hear and see. - I know drugs in general create these changes, I just see some specific traits in fent. Once in a great while you will hear Mark mention specific characteristics.
@@rainrabbit9209 Great perspective!
@@John-Doe-Yoyeh that could mean that too
I truly appreciate these interviews on this channel. Thank you for bringing attention to this crisis. I used to frequent skid row during the time I was homeless in LA and crossed paths with a lot of the people being interviewed. Hearing their stories on here is important where as back on and around 6th & San Pedro or 7th & Metro in DTLA, we just avoided each other. Only thing I ask is someone has to interview the Blue line Hustleman. A skid row resident & LA staple that hustles everyday on the LA Metro Blue line selling snacks, candy, water, Gatorade, t-shirts, etc. I would love to hear his story.
@mikewebbjr9914 that person does sound very interesting and I’d love to hear his story
@Mike Webb Jr. Send Mark a message directly & ask him ... 👍
This video triggered me. I turned into a meth addict at the age of 41 and she reminds me of myself. I’ve been clean for 3 years though. And I’m clean because I don’t want to hurt my daughters (21 & 16) AGAIN. It’s so weird that hearing her story makes me want to go down that road again. Geesh. What a strange feeling. I obviously need therapy. 🤦🏼♀️ i have faith in her though. She’s going to get clean. Please keep us updated on her.
I think just hearing about it can trigger us!! I hope you fought threw ! But if not you know what it takes and what it’s like to be clean !!! Your a much better mother than this thing !! I pray your doing well!!!
Please get the help you need to stay on the path you’re on for yourself and your children! Blessings 💗
Losing your identity as a mother and wife can lead you to feeling lost and empty. It appears that she needs to work on her identity as a person so that she can find her purpose.
@Carla Burgos I AGREE 1000% I had my children very young & when my youngest left for College I was lost... 😔 Similar to post partum depression I think?
My heart hurts so bad for her, as a 24 year old woman who’s been an opiate addict for almost 12 years… for her to have went half of her life without being addicted to opiates… it’s sad. I think she sought out to see what took her brother from her, and got hooked on the feeling (or lack thereof) for all of you talking shit about her being honest with her children, as a child with addict parents I wish they would’ve been honest with me, regardless. I pray she finds the strength to walk away from this, find the help she needs and to mend her relationship with her daughters and family. ❤❤
Fentanyl doesn’t care how old you are and neither does your drug dealer
Nothing but love for this lady. Treatment is the only way out.
There is no treatment. She has to willpower thru the withdrawals only way
That’s why people like u just don’t get it. Rehab is nothing but a way for the rich to get richer. Until a person is done with drugs and can get sick and tired the rollercoaster that’s when a rehab might help. no rehab can change u. And she’s not ready. Period
@@annaxefta587 people like me ? I agree she’s not ready. Your right about that.
@@theoriginaldeity There are actually quite a few medications used to treat opioid withdrawal in medically supervised detox programs. Suboxone, Subutex, Vivitrol, Methadone, Lofexidine, Clonidine, and Trazodone, to name a few.
@@MrLogical79 ive been on suboxone almost 4 mos after a 10 yr opiate addiction,prescribed by my pain Dr. Theyve saved my life and my sanity. Im 62 yrs old.
The level of self awareness she has will either be what saves her or her downfall. I pray she can get out of this. She could possibly help people see this addiction in a different more introspective way. But like she said she can’t always rely on a drug as her exit plan or safety net.
Right especially at 3 years into her addiction. At 3 years at mine I loved getting high and didn't think anything I was doing was wrong. It took 6 years total for me to get sober. At 32 I'm sober and caught 3 felonies within those 6 years it ruined me but I will not let it hinder me in life I'll keep living and sober life fine
Trump spoke on it numerous times taking it serious but you guys didn’t take him aerious
@@visualreaction9738 chill out Bradley
@@visualreaction9738 again this is not a political issue, trump obviously made the problem worse and not helped it. @SmarterThanTheApp ... Sorry to inform you that this issue is not politically based, China, Japan, India and Pakistan are some of the few countries shipping directly to both American dealers and Canadian dealers whom are cutting into this in their own home based labs now, do you expect America to stop all shipments from these countries coming in? With both fentanyl coming in across both the Mexican and Canadian borders now is a wall going to be successfully built on the Canadian side as well unlike trump's failed promise on building the wall at the Mexico border completely during his term in office and now many of you are blaming Biden for trump's failed promise that he said was completed before he left office in which as everyone sees it was never completed at all. Hell parts of it could not even stand up to winds which was proven on video by shady construction. But is America going to put up borders on both the Mexican and Canadian borders now? Of course not. how about the narcotic called "Pyro" spreading through the UK now and starting to spread into other EU coming countries? Much deadlier than fentanyl, is America going to stop all packages coming in from Europe as well. Think before you make another political comment that is not caused by democrats alone. How about you study the 2016 CDC guidelines that Melania trump suggested and Donald placed into law that stopped many doctors from issuing opioids only to have dealers see the opportunity to make money unfortunately while taking lives in the process to fill the gap to those suddenly cut off their own scripts
@@erickiyoshiphillips2323 I admire your dedication to being sober bc it’s not at all easy! Keep kicking Addiction’s Ass,bc you got a team out here who will help you! Love blessings and strength my friend! You got this!💪🏼🫶🏽
the sad thing is if she OD's and dies then someone else who loves her will feel that debilitating pain that she feels. Addiction breeds narcissim! .
Addiction is such a tricky animal. Best of luck. Thank you Mark and Guest
I feel like she can be a bodybuilder or into fitness, she is built well. My bestfriend was completely addicted to fent and opiates he is now completely into fitness and health. Replaced one addiction with another. The difference is it's a much healthier addiction
Yes!!!! This is exactly what I was going to say. If she can redirect her energy into something positive she has the perfect physique to get into fitness or even be a trainer.
Totally agree! I have been training for years and my triceps don't compare! If she trained for just a year she would have incredible athletic ability and exercise is a healthier addiction than fentanyl.
Good Morning! Its just after 3:00 a.m. here in Northern California where it is currently a sweet 42*. I hope that wherever this message may find you, you are safe, content, & comfortable. From my heart to yours, Much Love! 🤟🙃
Good morning!!! 🌗🌓
GM Roc, 28⁰ and snow is on the way in not so colorful Colorado!!! Have a great weekend my friend!!!
Here in chicago and im drunk asl. Blessings to yall
Watching this at 3:14am from Cali!
Hey Ro!👋🤓 Good Morning from a cool 37 degree 6:20am Brooklyn NY. Enjoy your weekend.
Being "New" in addiction doesn't mean you can easily stop. That's when I was at my worst. That fire exploded inside me and the beginning is when it burned the brightest.
I’m hysterical. Amanda describes her brother exactly how mine is/was. We were so close. A piece of me has died, with him. I know exactly how she feels. To the T.
As a person who’s been on methadone for 23 yrs, who’s husband just overdosed and had a fetynal habit on top of the methadone… this shit is scary.
Sorry for you loss Hon 💜 This Fentanyl stuff is so damned scary.
So sorry for your loss @BooBooSchmitt!! Sending you love and strength 🙏🏽🫶🏽
@@494ava thank you! Means the world! ❤️
Congrats on your recovery and so sorry for your loss 🤍
@@phoebeb.332 thank you, I really appreciate that. It’s been so hard but appreciate the ❤️
I feel sorry for her just for the fact of having to tell such an incoherent story to get her next high or just to get attention. So she got married at 15 and after the death of her brother and a break up after 22 years she has no other idea than to get addicted to heroin without knowing how to use the filth, does that make sense? She is ashamed to inform her family, who can now find out more via youtube, but Aamanda is not afraid to demean herself for the drug. Does it make sense? She describes herself as mentally and emotionally intelligent and can't find her way to a therapist, throwing rehab programs while feeling sorry for herself and her daughters. Does it make sense? One of the central problems of addiction is self-deception and lies... Whatever else this woman suffers from - drug problem, attention seeking - she has a massive mental problem and needs professional help...
Definitely!
Ehh, I’m a heroin addict, I’ve met quite a few addicts who don’t know how to shoot it. They have people do it for them. There’s also a lot of women who were married very young, especially in the ‘Christian’ fundamentalist groups. There a few states they control with very low age limits for marriage. One just recently passed a bill removing age limits and suspiciously left out the parental consent stipulation in this new bill. If I remember correctly it was Kansas last year. So I could believe she was married at 15 and got into heroin before she knew how to use it. It’s not so uncommon.
@@myeyeswentdeaf6213
First of all, I hope you are well and thanks for your reply. I just listened and noticed a few inconsistencies. It's not uncommon for people to get married at fifteen and have children on this channel. I've long since got an idea of this big country and yes, you're certainly right when you emphasize that the level of information can vary greatly. But...
Anyway, have a good time.
It's called addiction. That's the term you're trying to find while you're being so exhaustively verbose and judgmental. Upper-class White Chicks can have addictions. Addiction knows no race, color, sexuality, employment conditions, housing conditions, earning potential or parental status. It's addiction. People suffer from it it may be the first hit that gets you and yes that is the person's Choice originally after that the hell you have to pay to stay well is very steep. A lot of times that a person decides to go get help it's not enough and it's just a body Mill disability insurance and kick your ass out without any Tools in which to stay sober
@@ddz1375 If judgmental in your sense means closing your eyes and shutting up, then freedom of opinion is not very far off. You don't have to define me what addiction means. According to Aaron Antonovsky's salutogenesis, coherence is characterized, among other things, by the conviction that one can shape one's own life. The feeling of manageability. & The belief that life has a purpose. The sense of purpose.
Do you sincerely believe that this woman in her condition fulfills these aspects? Before you lecture from the pulpit, think about it, above all have a good time and stay healthy. ;)
Amanda, check out Gabor Mate. Also, check out iboga centers for healing from the addiction. Iboga is plant medicine of the Bwiti people. At a basic level it's used as a stimulant for hunting. But it's a powerful plant ally, a Spirit of reconnecting. Addiction is disconnection. I'm 41. We are young. We have a whole life to live ahead of us. You got this. The wounded healer archetype is strong in you. Be brave.
Good morning SWU Family!! It’s 6:07am in Florida and we’re enjoying another great video from Mark!! Blessings to All!! Pray for the addicted and those that love them ❤
👋🤓 Good Morning from Brooklyn NY.
It’s 7:19 am in Miami Fl
Good morning from Houston,Texas. 6:30 am
Watching from Edmonton, Alberta. Canada. 👍🇨🇦😊 It's 5:30 am here.
Wow great morning from Los Angeles were everyone is so peachy.
I wish her luck on her recovery ❤ She deserves to have a good life.
throwing ones life away is a choice she's is getting what she deserves and the kids and family who depend on her are living the consequences of her actions...she can talk about it, and live it out with her drugs indiscriminate looking for love in all the wrong places (so to speak) are a result of her own actions....Living is a verb and she's doing it...boo hoo...
@@annaMlisa513 you are a disgrace like your governor who has the worst state according to dea maps of the established cartels set up labs across America today. Yet everyone knows in Florida that he's running for president.
Copy and paste
Fight to learn what the disconnect is! You have more power within you to create change, walk towards healing ❤️🩹 Amanda!
The sooner you get to rehab the better it will be. I think they will give you things to help. It's really not that bad.. You got this.
I think it is the withdrawal from trank that is in the fentanyl which is the toughest. It is way way worse than heroin withdrawal.
You saying “it’s not that bad” proves you’ve never gone through it and have no idea👋👋
It is pretty bad. It's hard to come off of but it's extremely hard to stay off of.
i’m a 30 year opiate addict heroin,now methadone and been to detox 5x it’s not that bed lol it’s the worst!!!,i’ve spent £25k,also there’s going to detox for others 😂 NOPE that won’t work,then there’s staying off MMMMmmmm 🤔ing BBBBBBBBBB all day every day !!!.what’s the saying “walk a mile in a person’s shoes”
@@ashleyyy1 Child... Actually i have. ITS NOT THAT BAD considering the latter. You can do it. Anyone can. Ill send good vibes and prayers your way. Just trying to be positive. :D
Hearing her entire story has really broke my heart. I am a active addict myself now but off only my own scripts in which is enough for me never to turn to the streets ever and prior to this, I was married to another addict before I realized what it was truly like being addict and I had no clue how wrong it was, she had dragged us both down totally in every way imaginable prior to her prison sentence and death. I totally have been in both Amanda shoes and her boyfriends shoes alike now of days and understand how this impacted both of their lives. Amanda I feel is a amazing person though and I do not feel like she is bad in anyway. I hope now that she only works on her recovery, herself and her children without turning back to her old ways.
She's built like a wrestler,or a UFC fighter.
And she has the personality of a fighter as well. If you read this Amanda, I love you and your story. Bless you.
She doesn't seem as bad off as some. I pray she gets help before it's to late
Explain to the audience how someone can overdose 10x and still….Incredible way to ask a question to help her see😢
She keeps saying her kids know she’s a drug addict like it’s a badge of honor.
What a lovely woman. I don’t have addiction in my family, but the last few years I often thank God that opioids are not easily available to me, because I get why people take them.
I have a bad feeling she's not going to look this good in 2 months if she doesn't change.
In all kindness, You want an idea. The only thing I can tell you is that until you are willing to feel the pain, live through it and get destroyed by it, you will keep going back to using drugs. I totally empathize with where you are at.
From personal experience, an honest rehab that provides full mental health care (providing access to a psychiatrist) along with MAT is your best chance. Also, go home. You think you're saving your family by staying away, but that's just the addiction speaking to you.
I hope you find the will. It takes so much. But you can do it, I truly believe you can.
Anyone can get clean. Staying clean is what's hard. It's easier to escape reality than to deal with it
MAT is horrible too lol
From someone who has worked with reoccurring addicts, I know it's hard to watch and a few do recover. Unfortunately, most have a sickness that can't be cured or fixed, you have to let them go, cut them off, and let them do to themselves what they want, until they fix themselves or otherwise.
Please seek out an NA meeting while you are in L.A. I think things might become clearer in your mind and you will meet amazing people. Good Luck and God Bless you.
She is intelligent AF regarding the nuances and truthes of her addiction. If she can get right, she could help a shit ton of folks.
I like her. She remind me of myself A LOT. I too lost my little brother to this too. In September. Ive been clean 8YRS thank God. Wish he could’ve got to this point 😔 🙏♥️
I think out of all the people I have seen on this show,this lady has a chance of getting sober and having a real purpose in life
She is so intelligent and has so much to look forward to. She needs someone come along side her and help her.
I am sorry bc this is going to be an unpopular opinion...the only thing that I think of her is SELFISH!! She has kids that she is responsible for and who love and need her! We all have had some major trauma in our lives and our first thought in our late 30's is NOT to actively seek out heroin!! Esp after she knows the pain of losing her brother to an OD!! She has even admitted to OD'ing at least 10x. She doesnt think about her kids at all. Not before actively seeking out the drug and not now! She is not a mother in my eyes, she is just a selfish woman! If she has no coming skills at 37...go to therapy and learn them!!
Also to add, as someone who just battled a very aggressive firm of cancer that will likely come back some day, it really irks me that she said it is a disease!! Yes I know that ince your brain is hard wired differently due to drug usage, it is classed as a disease. BUT she knew that going in when she actively sought out this 'disease'. She saw it first hand with her brother and unless she lives under a rock and/or is braindead, she knew all about the opioid crisis all around her at the age of 37!!!
She said alot of words without saying much. I still have no idea exactly what major trauma drove an upper middle-class suburban 37-year old to hang out in the hood, looking for heroin which she knew nothing about. My ADD kicked in, so maybe I missed the details.
Her divorce, her brother died of overdose and they were close and she has a family history of addiction, 3 triggers there she outlined. I’m her age, I went through divorce recently, 2 kids and my dad died also recently. I’m isolated from my family because of my abusive ex husband. I could turn to drugs, but I won’t. I have had many childhood trauma, sexual abuse. I don’t do drugs, drink. I try to focus on coping mechanisms that will help me. I feel like my one addiction is sex addiction, but it’s not like I sleep around, I get addicted to a sex partner and I fear they will leave me. I have BPD
I agree . She said a whole lotta nothing. I’m surprised Mark let her ramble on so long.
@@wilson8979I'm a man in a very similar situation. I wish you all the love and happiness that life can bring and I hope you have a beautiful day sweetheart.
@@wilson8979 I hear you but I think she blew smoke so she could leave out major details. Usually opiate addiction stems from childhood trauma or Rx drugs. If family history had such a big effect, it wouldn't lay dormant for 37 whole years. Divorce and death of a sibling happens to ppl everyday and most don't jump on heroin. Her story just seemed incomplete.
@@wilson8979 thank you for your honesty .. my heart is full of good energy for you love , I love you I hope you can love yourself my darling xoxo
I am not diminishing the pain she feels from losing her brother, nor the family history of addiction. However, she did not see her significance in this world, otherwise she would not have turned to drugs. I believe she no longer felt needed. To find a cause she believes in and to devote herself to it could help her find her purpose. I hope she can kick this habit and grasp how very loved she is.
She's not afraid of dying, she's afraid to live. Actively seeking coping mechanisms to remain numb seems like you are aware of the triggers but afraid to face it.
I think she answered her own question, when she asked if the interviewer had any ideas or advice...previously she said that there was a "disconnect." I sense that her life has not gone the way she wanted it to, and that more importantly she doesn't know what or how to get to that place of knowing what she wants. So she consciously disconnected from that confusion. The drugs are her way of coping with the unknown, that in her, is equivalent to the pain.
Fentanyl ain't no joke. I remember when the Dr gave it to me when I was having a heart attack and I started hallucinating before I went out and woke up to being rolled back to my room. I hear about so many people passing away from it and it breaks my heart. I really hope she gets better and finds a healthy alternate to dealing with the pain. Definitely praying for her and anyone else dealing with any kind of addiction
Synthetic fentanyl is different than what the hospital uses. You're thoughtful and have a lot to offer. Please kick this thing.
Same they gave it to me for aorta stenting, i was repeating the Dr's words & he said go ahead and give her more. Lol
You are correct. They gave it to me during a surgery. I had horrible hallucinations. The same thing happened when they gave been pain pills that were opioids.i decided to use extra strength Tylenol and lots of bed rest. Later I got into physical therapy and I learned stretching techniques that help .. the physical therapist also used therapeutic message. The pain pills I will never use and I have had multiple surgeries
@@carolmcdade4081 all fentynol is synthetic, fentynol is fentynol, street fentynol maybe cut with other drugs, but the fentynol itself is not different, there is such thing as iso-fentynol, but that is a different drug. It's an analog of fentynol.
Hallucinating off opiodes ??? 🤔 Never experienced or heard of that before.
In November of 2022 my sibling was murdered by police during a psychosis episode - It is the hardest thing I've ever done to not go out and drink and take every drug under the sun. I'll be 5 years clean and sober in March I can't fuck this up now. This ladys story is WAY too fucking close to home for me. Its like looking in a mirror in so many ways it terrifies me to the core.
I am so sincerely sorry for your loss. And so glad to hear that you're still holding on to your sobriety. Big hugs and much love to you, and your brother 🖤🤍✨️
Whoever helped you get sober, or whatever higher power - lead hard on that or them now. My SIL got clean after 30 years and then her daughter died suddenly (from a virus). Her sobriety family lifted her up and miraculously she is still sober.
I love you. Keep up the sobering on. From a stranger. Take care!
There are a lot of things in this lady's story that just don't add up. She's 40 years old. Her oldest daughter is 24. She was married for 22 years. She started using at 37. She had a relationship with a guy since she was 38. She's OD'd more than 10 times. She holds herself out as an example for what her children should NOT be... I've gone to 1000's of 12 Step Meetings. This just doesn't pass the smell test...
Amanda if you see this it’s not to late I’m sorry for your loss but you have so much to live for you have a loving family and kids that love you and I’m sure your brother would not want you living this lifestyle your kids need they mom don’t give up
It's hard for a person to remain in a relationship with an addict. The addiction is the most important thing, it comes before everyone and anything else. It's at the center, the core of their lives, and no matter how much they think and say, and cry about how much they care about other things, or family, or children, it's not true. When it comes to their words, they will say anything that allows them to continue in the addiction.
Addiction is the most demanding master of a person.
She wants to manipulate and control her “treatment” yet she isn’t in control of anything
I’ve talked to a couple of people who were ‘cut off’ their rx pain meds and ended up on ‘dirty’ street drugs as they said. It makes me wonder how well that opioid legislation is working?? Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to at least be monitored by an MD on rx meds?? I heard Seattle has run out of room to store the bodies of overdose victims… its so tragic. ☮️
Yeah the cutting off of oxys lead to a 1Kx more deaths.
This reminds me so much of my mother. 🥺 this is heartbreaking I hope and pray she finds the light she needs. 19:00
It only took me 1 od to quit and i was a addict 20 years its so beautiful on this side thats proof you can quit just do it please
Take care of yourself Amanda. Thank you for sharing your story.
I actually struggled to connect with this video. Mostly I just ache for her children, for some reason I just didn’t feel she was genuine. But looking at the comments I think I’m definitely the minority. I wish you well, beautiful woman
I’m with you. She was looking for trouble and not caring who was in her wake.
Wow... this is crazy. This is my cousin. Her daughters are the best, they are great! The last thing I heard from them is that she is missing. They haven't heard from her since the last time I saw them. That was a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully someone can let them know she's okay
www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/112973/details?nav
Comment below says she is posted on a fb group found deceased…
1.) You have to hate it just a little more than you love it
2.) You have to be sick of your own bullshit
When those 2 things happen you can begin to LIVE again. Only then can you climb out of that dark hole of despair and hopelessness. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I identify with this woman 100%. Thank you.
You should interview a homeless TH-camr/TikToker who is currently homeless in LA by the name of “Daniel Larson.” He has quite the internet following due to his eccentric character and would be an interesting interview for sure.
Keep up the good work! 👍
I’m sure there’s plenty of losers around !
I appreciate her willingness to share her story, her vulnerability and honesty with us. I really do hope she gets help. She’s right, life doesn’t have to be so hard. That said, she is in control of that herself right now. Been there, and I recall turning help away, too. So I’m not judging, just being factual.
Hope we get a followup where she’s clean & sober and back in touch with her daughters.🤞
Great to be able to analyze the problem and reasons for it, but without the desire to get well and stay sober, the analysis is of little use. Sometimes we feel guilt because we are guilty... It can be our call to change.
I have trouble sympathizing with her.
This woman can be saved, I truly hope she wants a change soon.
One of the more annoying videos on here. She seems very proud of her addiction. Too bad for those who actually care. It must be super irritating for her kids. She needs to grow up.
Got to the verrrrrry end with not a tear shed… and then her last three sentences made me bawl ✌🏼
Wow, what a horrible mother. Shame on you. Your kids deserve better.
It's great to give these folks a platform. Amazing how most of the comments are positive. It's nothing to applaud. Very hard to even understand anything but a lot of justification. And indulgence. Gets kind of boring!
I’m surprised Mark let her ramble on so long. She is saying a whole lotta nothing.
She has a good friend calling her out and telling her the truth and not enabling her.
but simultaneously profiting from her addiction...
Amanda wants viewers to believe she's from an "upper-middle class" background and that she's educated & has always known how to navigate things before her descent into heroin addiction. Though, she said that she's 40 & her oldest is 24 which means she was 16 when she gave birth to her. Whether because of shame or guilt it seems that she's white-washed her pre-iv drug use. If both parents are alcoholics & her brother was a heroin addict, it stands to reason that her upbringing was shaky & unstable. What she really needs is something like the show "Intervention," where the family (her ex-husband & girls) arrange in advance to have a drug rehab counselor & the transportation to rehab so she can make the decision & be expected to follow through with it. Just sayin.
And she was married for 22 years...
Hi, her brother had and intervention show. I’ve tried to find contact for them so I could get her into their program but I’ve had no luck. I’m Amanda’s daughter by the way. If you have any contact information for that show I would appreciate it. Thank you
@@amayaclarke Stay strong, Amaya. My prayers are with you.
I know this is older, but as I’m just now seeing it. I am very close to this woman (I don’t wish to disclose how) and would just like to clarify that almost 98% of every word was a lie. I wish she could be honest, and then maybe we could finally see some change.
Find it very hard to believe at 37 she thought of going after heroin. Not booze, or weed, or some pills. She seems like she is acting.
Mark says they all lie.
Attention seeking.
Starting off rough. “Almost 100% of the time I’m honest with my kids”. So maybe 99% of the time honest? 1% of the time I’m unfaithful to my partner. Am I unfaithful to my wife since 99% of the time I’m faithful? I think I would be 100% unfaithful.
Girl you got kids. Get your shit together. Think about them. Get sober from them.
Love her honesty. Love can't be lies
her brother died because of drugs...so she decided to consciencely (!) ruin her and her kid's lives by starting drugs....sooo stupid
Fentanyl trafficking should be a capital offense.
She is very intelligent and self aware. I hope she can escape this
Prayers 🙏 up for this lady! Please make the right decision and go to rehab! You can do this! Please come back and tell us you are doing well!
I’m an avid fan of yours and this one just put me in a depressed mode I had to leave it. Now I know why you use Better Health. Too bad my insurance doesn’t cover this one. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy your channel. Thank you, Mark.
My experience was, addicted to opiates and alcohol for almost 20 years. I had been in and out of psyche wards, the rooms of AA and NA and none of it worked. It was only when I got down on my knees and surrendered my life to Christ was I able to be lifted out of darkness.
Life is not perfect, but I am grateful for the life I have.