I just want to touch on the fact that in a very vulnerable time the mother in the first story was being ignored by the doctor. And in a big way he was about to cut her down there. He didn’t seem to believe her about her pain either. Add to that her husband was HOLDING HER DOWN(or that’s what it felt like in that moment) imagine the trauma of having a man hold you down so another man can get between your naked bloody legs and cut your intimate parts! I feel like that was glossed over a bit in your discussion. Of course she was traumatized and wanted only women in there to feel safe. And then the AUDACITY of the husband to make it about himself AND discredit her fear in that moment by taking the doctors side is insane! His embarrassment doesn’t matter, he earned it when he didn’t stand up to the doctor for her and instead HELD HER DOWN
This so much!! Birth already sounds so scary and traumatizing. You can't really see what's going on down there and hope that you can trust your doctor to do the right thing. The other person that's there with you should help you get your wishes through if the doctor decides to go against them and not help them! I would be so terrified and honestly not sure if I could trust my partner again if I don't feel like they would defend me in my probably weakest moment in my life. (Edit) + I can understand that feeling emberrassed is not great... but if he would understand what his wife went through, even if he just looks at the physical aspects... there is no way a empathic person can put their embarrasment over how the woman felt during and after the birth.
I can't understand how selfish a person has to be to hear and see another person dismiss one's beloved's bodily autonomy, help the person do that and then say they felt "embarrassed" for being kicked out. OP's husband literally took the side against OP's bodily autonomy and was fine with the doctor injuring (+ literally assault) OP, even supported it while it happened and after. The amount of selfishness and how little one has to view women as people needed for this is beyond me.
yeah, that guy scream psychological abuse, and it's gross that his entitlement (being embarrassed for being kicked out after trying to assist the doctor with an unlawful "medical act") is enabled. But what else can you expect about 3 dudes talking about a man's feelings after betraying their wife in their most vulnerable moment? Absolutely nothing better, obviously!
Me and my husband literally JUST said this. We have been through 4 labors together, some more traumatic than others, the last being the worst. And NEITHER of us could imagine how this mama felt in the moment, or how her husband doesn’t see how he’s such a gross awful pos.
At the start she said the baby wasn't coming and after 24h.... If they have to cut you they have to cut you? You rather the baby die?! Wtf is wrong with you guys. I get it's scary but you have to allow doctors to do what they need to do in Labor. I was in regular room to the emergency room within 5 mins. They tried to explain everything to me and ask if I understood but I said, it doesn't matter do what you gotta do. She pushed the child out but she tore. Being cut would have probably been better 🙄 in that time I get it hurts and it's scary but you should care more about the baby and you having less damage possible rather than letting the baby possible not come out... I didn't have the best birthing experience but I trusted my male nurses and surgeons way more than one of the idiot midwife's I had
Literally in labor right now listening to this. Homeboy's gotta get over his ego and realize it was never about him in that moment. The birthing person operates on pure instinct.
Just started listening, but I just have to comment that anatomically, squatting is the best position to give birth in. The only reason that hospitals have women lay down is because, way back when, a dumb-ss king found it "exciting" to watch his wives give birth, so he had them lay down on their backs so he could see their bodies more fully. And royalty were the OG influencers, so that became the new trend, and it just stuck around. That's it. That's the reason. So the mother in the first story was completely right to change her position, and I'm so glad that it helped her. If hospitals change to make squatting the norm again, a lot more women could be saved from a lot of unnecessary discomfort.
Well that's one of the reasons it became popular, but it's still used today for different reasons (that also aren't great). First, the availability of epidurals: it's more difficult to stay upright/squatting with an epidural, so supine is the least difficult birthing position after admin of an epidural. Second: the rise of hospital births; hospital beds are reclined, so it's just the equipment available, and it also makes it easier for the doctor to supervise the birth. All that being said, I have a feeling labor would not last nearly as long or be as difficult if hospitals had beds/seats designed for different birthing positions. Like it's crazy that childbirth, which is so different from other hospital stays, gets the same type of bed when I'm sure alternatives are out there. Is it to save costs?? Ugh it's just another failure that makes it clear women's health isn't a priority
Yep, it's true. I'm giving birth any day now and had already decided to refuse to do so while lying on my back because it's a position that can increase tearing. Thankfully in the UK I don't think that position is common anymore anyway. Here they say that gravity and oxytocin are your best friends during labour. The baby has to try and get around your pelvic bones etc, obviously gravity and movement is going to help with that.
Story 1: If I was Op I'd be divorcing my husband, the fact she's been having nightmares about how her husband acted I don't think I'd be able to get over it
And he didn't have any empathy!! He was fucking embaressed? Excuse me? Embaressed? She judt went through the most painful and traumatizing thing she ever experienced and he worries about being embaressed?! Bye man.
I recently heard y'all talk about having a 75yo listener, and I just wanted to say that I am 84 and absolutely adore you young men. It's so refreshing to hear you all speak so respectfully about women; as well as the speaking up for those in poorly situations.
It's great to see people in their 80s on you tube. I hope if I reach that age I don't forget to stay updated. I don't ever want to be stuck in the past.
@@redbunny22 technology has always fascinated me so I have kept up with it because I, too, didn't want to be stuck in the past. Times are worrisome now, but I can reassure you that it's always been this way. I just pray that when my time finally comes, it won't hurt.
@@tcfan80 my sentiments exactly. I just hope for the best, make the most of what little time we get and hope my ending is as smooth and peaceful as possible.
John really said it perfectly in the last story: why do all these men willingly decide to have children and then get upset at their wives/girlriends for being busy with children? How about you help out and then maybe your wife wont be so busy
13:00 I hard disagree with Josh, he wasn't comforting her. He was holding her down to try and force her to get her flesh cut open with scissors with zero anesthesia. It's absolutely horrifying and I have no sympathy for him at all.
The first story pisses me off. This lady is in the most vulnerable position, while being "threatened" to be cut open unnecessarily. The husband instead of trusting his wife and having proof that his wife can be trusted with this, BECAUSE SHE DID PUSH OUT THE BABY BY HERSELF, acts like a lil bitch. She was besides herself, she was obviously not okay. And the husband has the guts to make himself the victim?? Just because thousands of women do this every day, doesn't mean it isn't an absolutely awful process. This man needs a reality check. Honestly, if this happened to me, I would kick him out if he didn't shut up about it after the first time he brought it up. What a inconsiderate man child. And to make that woman feel like she is in the wrong... hellnah.
😅 It's pronounced ah-pee-zee-otomy. It's when the doctor cuts you with scissors from hole to hole. This is often not because it's medically necessary but because tears are harder to stitch (even though they heal faster) than a cut. Learned of this when going to pre-natal classes with my best friend. It was horrifying. 😂
I was about to comment this! 😂 I’m in nursing school, and learned recently that doctors should only use episiotomies as a last resort since, like you said, tears heal much faster and don’t always need stitches 🪡
So so so NTA in that first story, not only was that doctor about to disregard her refusal without telling her or explaining anything to her, but her husband was an accomplice in that, sounds like a very natural and justified reaction to want the people who are trying to take advantage of your vulnerable state out of the room
It's amazing how spouses that cheat put so much energy into the other person when that same energy should have been spent on their spouse. Don't ever feel like it's your fault your spouse cheated, they couldn't convey their struggles and chose to have an affair. Even if you were distant, that is something that should not only be communicated but your spouse should also make the effort to alleviate your workload.
I can empathize with having a fear of doctors because of them not listening to me while I was in extreme pain. I got a tumor removed from my back in late 2022 that was close enough to the surface (but still 100% subdural) that the doctor refused to consider general anesthesia. This surgeon listened to me say that I have an extreme fear of needles (from being stabbed, go figure) and that I'm prone to panic attacks and psychogenic seizures under extreme stress, and she still decided that cutting it out of my back with only local anesthesia was best. It took 2 hours. I felt every single cut and I was shaking and crying the whole time being held down by 2 nurses. The surgeon yelled at me for not telling her i needed more local anesthesia, as if my cries of agony weren't clue enough. Idk if I'll ever be able to trust a surgeon again. Oh and for the record, it ended up being much deeper than she thought (which was previously known from several ultrasounds) and she wasn't even able to fully resect it. It turned out to be a granular cell tumor which have a pretty good chance of coming back without a full resection, so lucky me.
Speaking of the church being a money laundering thing….yeah you don’t realize how bad it can get. I went to a Catholic school that was constantly asking for donations and stuff but we never saw any improvement to the school. But suddenly the church that the school was connected to was able to get a customized stain glass window from Germany or something…..I spent 5-8 grade in a mobile home like building that was later discovered to have mold in the walls and ceilings! It was extremely frustrating
Sadly, this happens more often than you think. The husband becomes jealous of the baby and the mom's bond with the baby and then goes looking for outside attention.
As Bailey Sarian covered, birth on the back is to assist a doctor in making it easier to see, and from a french King who got his jollies watching women giving birth. Squatting is far safer and the way we are built to birth. There is plenty of abuse of women in a medical setting, and cutting a woman in that was without anaesthetic, especially when the patient has made them aware it's not working, is a lawsuit waiting to happen. She did the right thing being an advocate when her husband both failed to be an advocate but was pressuring her to be a victim of medical negligence by physically grabbing her. And that feels a little unfair on the husband as he isn't trained to be an advocate but now he is in this situation he needs to absolutely raise the bar on understanding the medical negligence that is rife through women's healthcare and how he failed in his role as a support and advocate. He can be more knowledgeable, know that he is there to make sure his partner has their needs supported, and they receive safe healthcare where they aren't put in duress.
I just want to say that I love being able to catch this video as it premiers. My daughter is down to 1 nap, and it starts at 12! Perfect timing, yall. Thank you for continuing the wonderfully hilarious content.
I wonder if the first story was a civilian Dr or a Military Dr. I have a similar experience where I went in the er at the base hospital and the male Dr kept telling me everything was fine but I could just feel something wasn't right and i felt like I was about to have my son. Well the sent me home and that night I was right back there in labor. And also my meds didn't work and a nurse told me I needed to hush because I was feeling literally everything!! Like wtf who tells a laboring person to hush.
That is so horrible. That was YOUR hospital room. How dare they not listen to you. My poor mommy felt a whole c section because the anesthesia didn't take. It was an emergency, and I suppose she didn't speak up because she didn't want to delay out of fear. I can't imagine.
Your providers were definitely not there for you and neither was OP’s husband. You clearly had communicated at the beginning and during labor that something wasn’t right and was ignored again and again. I do question how coherent the OP was in this situation, due to the epidural and pain, so maybe the doctor didn’t hear/understand what the op was saying because they have to be aware of all aspects of what’s going on in the room and can be distracted. So the doctor is 50/50, Schrödinger’s Cat for me without knowing just how obvious it was that the OP was rejecting the cut. BUT, the OP’s husband is literally only supposed to focus on the OP and understand and make everyone aware of the OPs pain and desires, so I place so much blame on him and fully support OP. Same goes with the nurses, as they tend to have specific roles and have more of a line of communication with the birth giver. To think the OP’s husband gives his embarrassment priority over his wife’s trauma is infuriating.
The first story just made me sick to my stomach. Birth is literally all about the mom and baby. She was being ignored about her experience by the doctore then her husband held her down so her genitals could get cut up. They should be happy the only thing she did was to scream at them to get out. Its because of things like this that being pregnant is my biggest fear. Your own man not being on your side. Discusting. This got my blood boiling
Story 3: 😮 literally just had a convo with my husband about giving big gifts to our 4 kids while he is still alive so he can watch them enjoy it--talking 20+ years down the line here, and I am less sure I want that depending on how well we are doing, because of our age gap. The story blew my mind though.The thought of not giving to kids WHILE THEY ARE KIDS and at least after you die, if not hopefully sharing your abundance when you're older is so sad. Why did you want kids?
You learn pretty quickly in the USA that women are not respected by doctors. Especially while giving birth. It's not a pleasant thing to go through, and it is made worse by the doctors who dismiss you at every turn. It would not have shocked me at all if the doctor had gone ahead and cut her, even without her consent. So traumatizing. Her husband should have been on HER SIDE. But, he didn't support her at all. Also - I don't normally comment, but you said you needed engagement. Here you go.
F Dead pool because canonically he has a year's worth of stamina Marry T'challa because royalty lol And yeet the spider lady because she could know my thoughts at any time.
Story 1: the husband needs to get over himself big time. It's crazy to hear the woman who just went through a difficult birth talk about lacking empathy when her husband clearly is the one lacking here. Is there such a thing as "reverse projection"?
Thats a crazy thing to hear you say Josh. Im sorry for the callout. The husband in the first story was in NO WAY trying to comfort his wife. I know it is something you cant understand fully, but i am confident you can try to imagine the feeling of being in your most vulnerable position and place in your life and the person who is supposed to help you is not listening you and going to do something to your body you would have no control over because your husband, your heart, the one who helped you create this human is HOLDING YOU DOWN. Sorry for the runon sentence
1st story: she made a medical decision for herself and wasn’t being listened to or respected. I would have actually filed a complaint against the doctor if I were in her place. As someone with past issues with SA, that would trigger me so bad, especially with the husband holding her down
There's crazy cases about women getting epistomies during birth without their consent, and even worse it doesnt heal right or changes your body forever... look up where that cut is btw....
Wednesdays update should be called "Humpdate" or Midweek Humpdate, The Downhill Humpdate or something similar. Though it's just Wednesday Update using "humpday" for Wednesday instead BUT it sounds way cruder than it actually is, just for John's happiness, not Shwarns...
Guys I am *begging* you to get a mother’s opinion on stories every now and then! I love the podcast but there are so many stories that really need more background insight - and the 1st birthing story is a prime example. Episiotomies have historically been overused bc drs want birth to go faster or don’t work with women to move to a better birthing position (aka anything but on your back!). Studies have shown again and again that cutting a woman is worse recovery and unnecessary! There was not nearly enough understanding about what was going on. Also a couple of times there have been pumping or breastfeeding stories and they really lack context from three kidless men 😅 I love y’all - and please consult some moms for stories focused on birth/motherhood
Hi guys! Long time listener here. Huge fan of you guys 🫶🏻 I’d like to make a request if I can? Could you guys please put a trigger warning for traumatic birth stories? I had one myself, as well as a negligent doctor, that basically tortured me, and it’s honestly VERY triggering to hear other’s stories. I got about 10 seconds in and had to go to story number 2.
I’m dying at the pronunciation of episiotomy 😂 I have 3 kids and needed to get that 2 out of 3 of my pregnancies, I can’t imagine telling the doc NOT to cut me. My second was a 42 hour labour and I didn’t care HOW she came out at that point, so it was an episiotomy and forceps because I wouldn’t dilate all the way. My third I never had an episiotomy but the cord was around his neck and he almost didn’t make it. 🥺 I never felt either one of my episiotomies tho, healing was the hardest part with the stitches but op said they tore so they would have still needed stitches.
I'm sure someone said it in the comments, and episiotomy is an incision from the vaginal opening to the anus. It's done to make the vaginal opening bigger so the baby's head can pass through.
I strongly disagree with you guys on Story 3, even without the extra details. The only reason my Boomer parents owned a home was because my paternal grandparents left my dad an inheritance which my parents used as a down payment on our family’s house. My own parents have the same attitude as the parents in this story, where they’re determined to not leave my brother and I anything KNOWING that our generation is in a much, _much_ worse economic situation and that most people in our generation will never own their own homes. I don’t get it. Boomers who themselves had a huge helping hand from their own parents seem to just hate their kids, and don’t want them to have any meaningful future opportunities. They don’t want their kids to have the same help nor good fortune, they don’t want them to be able to afford a house to raise their own families in. It’s not about greed; my dad’s parents were middle class and the inheritance was in the five digits. It’s not like he inherited fabulous lifelong wealth by any means. But it was enough to secure a house which he and my mom then worked hard to pay off the mortgage for. Nothing was “handed to them”, they still had to work very hard for decades. My brother and I will not even get that. I’m a ranch hand and my brother is in the military and a part time bartender. Neither of us are likely to ever own a home, and my parents just do not care. They care about buying a huge RV and deliberately spending everything, for the exact purpose of leaving my brother and I without the nest egg that they benefited from. And people wonder why American family values have disintegrated.
not a justification for cheating, just to play devil's advocate a little bit. the story of the cheating husband, they kept saying he didnt vocalize his wants to his wife... but what if he did. the story is from her bias, so maybe he had asked for attention or tried to bw more intimate with her. she had the baby and her own things going on, maybe she felt overwhelmed with life. still, if he did tell her how he felt and she ignored it, maybe he thought getting that attention from someone else while still being a husband and father was his better option. ccheating is not a good option, but people make bad choices. just another perspective 🤷🏻♀️
I just want to touch on the fact that in a very vulnerable time the mother in the first story was being ignored by the doctor. And in a big way he was about to cut her down there. He didn’t seem to believe her about her pain either. Add to that her husband was HOLDING HER DOWN(or that’s what it felt like in that moment) imagine the trauma of having a man hold you down so another man can get between your naked bloody legs and cut your intimate parts! I feel like that was glossed over a bit in your discussion. Of course she was traumatized and wanted only women in there to feel safe. And then the AUDACITY of the husband to make it about himself AND discredit her fear in that moment by taking the doctors side is insane! His embarrassment doesn’t matter, he earned it when he didn’t stand up to the doctor for her and instead HELD HER DOWN
This so much!!
Birth already sounds so scary and traumatizing. You can't really see what's going on down there and hope that you can trust your doctor to do the right thing. The other person that's there with you should help you get your wishes through if the doctor decides to go against them and not help them!
I would be so terrified and honestly not sure if I could trust my partner again if I don't feel like they would defend me in my probably weakest moment in my life.
(Edit) + I can understand that feeling emberrassed is not great... but if he would understand what his wife went through, even if he just looks at the physical aspects... there is no way a empathic person can put their embarrasment over how the woman felt during and after the birth.
I can't understand how selfish a person has to be to hear and see another person dismiss one's beloved's bodily autonomy, help the person do that and then say they felt "embarrassed" for being kicked out. OP's husband literally took the side against OP's bodily autonomy and was fine with the doctor injuring (+ literally assault) OP, even supported it while it happened and after. The amount of selfishness and how little one has to view women as people needed for this is beyond me.
yeah, that guy scream psychological abuse, and it's gross that his entitlement (being embarrassed for being kicked out after trying to assist the doctor with an unlawful "medical act") is enabled. But what else can you expect about 3 dudes talking about a man's feelings after betraying their wife in their most vulnerable moment? Absolutely nothing better, obviously!
Me and my husband literally JUST said this. We have been through 4 labors together, some more traumatic than others, the last being the worst. And NEITHER of us could imagine how this mama felt in the moment, or how her husband doesn’t see how he’s such a gross awful pos.
At the start she said the baby wasn't coming and after 24h.... If they have to cut you they have to cut you? You rather the baby die?! Wtf is wrong with you guys. I get it's scary but you have to allow doctors to do what they need to do in Labor. I was in regular room to the emergency room within 5 mins. They tried to explain everything to me and ask if I understood but I said, it doesn't matter do what you gotta do. She pushed the child out but she tore. Being cut would have probably been better 🙄 in that time I get it hurts and it's scary but you should care more about the baby and you having less damage possible rather than letting the baby possible not come out...
I didn't have the best birthing experience but I trusted my male nurses and surgeons way more than one of the idiot midwife's I had
Literally in labor right now listening to this. Homeboy's gotta get over his ego and realize it was never about him in that moment. The birthing person operates on pure instinct.
Good luck!! 🎉🎉❤️❤️
How'd it go?
Just started listening, but I just have to comment that anatomically, squatting is the best position to give birth in. The only reason that hospitals have women lay down is because, way back when, a dumb-ss king found it "exciting" to watch his wives give birth, so he had them lay down on their backs so he could see their bodies more fully. And royalty were the OG influencers, so that became the new trend, and it just stuck around. That's it. That's the reason.
So the mother in the first story was completely right to change her position, and I'm so glad that it helped her. If hospitals change to make squatting the norm again, a lot more women could be saved from a lot of unnecessary discomfort.
If that's as you say, it's insane. I'm always flabbergasted by how archaic a lot of medical practices still are regarding women.
I think squatting is fairly normal in the UK. It makes sense to help gravity do it's job.
Well that's one of the reasons it became popular, but it's still used today for different reasons (that also aren't great). First, the availability of epidurals: it's more difficult to stay upright/squatting with an epidural, so supine is the least difficult birthing position after admin of an epidural. Second: the rise of hospital births; hospital beds are reclined, so it's just the equipment available, and it also makes it easier for the doctor to supervise the birth.
All that being said, I have a feeling labor would not last nearly as long or be as difficult if hospitals had beds/seats designed for different birthing positions. Like it's crazy that childbirth, which is so different from other hospital stays, gets the same type of bed when I'm sure alternatives are out there. Is it to save costs?? Ugh it's just another failure that makes it clear women's health isn't a priority
Yep, it's true. I'm giving birth any day now and had already decided to refuse to do so while lying on my back because it's a position that can increase tearing.
Thankfully in the UK I don't think that position is common anymore anyway. Here they say that gravity and oxytocin are your best friends during labour. The baby has to try and get around your pelvic bones etc, obviously gravity and movement is going to help with that.
Story 1: If I was Op I'd be divorcing my husband, the fact she's been having nightmares about how her husband acted I don't think I'd be able to get over it
Hold me down so another man can cut me and youd better sleep with one eye open I tell you what
And he didn't have any empathy!! He was fucking embaressed? Excuse me? Embaressed? She judt went through the most painful and traumatizing thing she ever experienced and he worries about being embaressed?! Bye man.
"How can I convince her to tell me where the beans are buried?" This sounds like a DND side quest 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I recently heard y'all talk about having a 75yo listener, and I just wanted to say that I am 84 and absolutely adore you young men. It's so refreshing to hear you all speak so respectfully about women; as well as the speaking up for those in poorly situations.
It's great to see people in their 80s on you tube. I hope if I reach that age I don't forget to stay updated. I don't ever want to be stuck in the past.
@@redbunny22 technology has always fascinated me so I have kept up with it because I, too, didn't want to be stuck in the past. Times are worrisome now, but I can reassure you that it's always been this way. I just pray that when my time finally comes, it won't hurt.
@@tcfan80 my sentiments exactly. I just hope for the best, make the most of what little time we get and hope my ending is as smooth and peaceful as possible.
John really said it perfectly in the last story: why do all these men willingly decide to have children and then get upset at their wives/girlriends for being busy with children? How about you help out and then maybe your wife wont be so busy
I imagine if the beans didn't get dug back up, some guy some day with a metal detector will find them and be incredibly confused
13:00 I hard disagree with Josh, he wasn't comforting her. He was holding her down to try and force her to get her flesh cut open with scissors with zero anesthesia. It's absolutely horrifying and I have no sympathy for him at all.
The first story pisses me off.
This lady is in the most vulnerable position, while being "threatened" to be cut open unnecessarily. The husband instead of trusting his wife and having proof that his wife can be trusted with this, BECAUSE SHE DID PUSH OUT THE BABY BY HERSELF, acts like a lil bitch. She was besides herself, she was obviously not okay. And the husband has the guts to make himself the victim?? Just because thousands of women do this every day, doesn't mean it isn't an absolutely awful process.
This man needs a reality check. Honestly, if this happened to me, I would kick him out if he didn't shut up about it after the first time he brought it up. What a inconsiderate man child. And to make that woman feel like she is in the wrong... hellnah.
this makes me never want to have kids or get married
😅 It's pronounced ah-pee-zee-otomy. It's when the doctor cuts you with scissors from hole to hole. This is often not because it's medically necessary but because tears are harder to stitch (even though they heal faster) than a cut. Learned of this when going to pre-natal classes with my best friend. It was horrifying. 😂
I was about to comment this! 😂 I’m in nursing school, and learned recently that doctors should only use episiotomies as a last resort since, like you said, tears heal much faster and don’t always need stitches 🪡
So so so NTA in that first story, not only was that doctor about to disregard her refusal without telling her or explaining anything to her, but her husband was an accomplice in that, sounds like a very natural and justified reaction to want the people who are trying to take advantage of your vulnerable state out of the room
an episiotomy is basically slashing your taint
Mine tore pretty badly and that's no fun either....
An episiotomy sounds as fun as chewing on razor gum.
It's amazing how spouses that cheat put so much energy into the other person when that same energy should have been spent on their spouse. Don't ever feel like it's your fault your spouse cheated, they couldn't convey their struggles and chose to have an affair. Even if you were distant, that is something that should not only be communicated but your spouse should also make the effort to alleviate your workload.
The bean girlfriend was lost in the sauce.
Seriously an odd behaviour, but it made my day lol
I can empathize with having a fear of doctors because of them not listening to me while I was in extreme pain. I got a tumor removed from my back in late 2022 that was close enough to the surface (but still 100% subdural) that the doctor refused to consider general anesthesia. This surgeon listened to me say that I have an extreme fear of needles (from being stabbed, go figure) and that I'm prone to panic attacks and psychogenic seizures under extreme stress, and she still decided that cutting it out of my back with only local anesthesia was best. It took 2 hours. I felt every single cut and I was shaking and crying the whole time being held down by 2 nurses. The surgeon yelled at me for not telling her i needed more local anesthesia, as if my cries of agony weren't clue enough. Idk if I'll ever be able to trust a surgeon again.
Oh and for the record, it ended up being much deeper than she thought (which was previously known from several ultrasounds) and she wasn't even able to fully resect it. It turned out to be a granular cell tumor which have a pretty good chance of coming back without a full resection, so lucky me.
No way I catch a premier during work! More content to listen to while I shelve some books. Amazing episode like always guys!
Speaking of the church being a money laundering thing….yeah you don’t realize how bad it can get. I went to a Catholic school that was constantly asking for donations and stuff but we never saw any improvement to the school. But suddenly the church that the school was connected to was able to get a customized stain glass window from Germany or something…..I spent 5-8 grade in a mobile home like building that was later discovered to have mold in the walls and ceilings! It was extremely frustrating
Sadly, this happens more often than you think. The husband becomes jealous of the baby and the mom's bond with the baby and then goes looking for outside attention.
TRAUMA TRUMPS EMBARRASSMENT.
As Bailey Sarian covered, birth on the back is to assist a doctor in making it easier to see, and from a french King who got his jollies watching women giving birth. Squatting is far safer and the way we are built to birth. There is plenty of abuse of women in a medical setting, and cutting a woman in that was without anaesthetic, especially when the patient has made them aware it's not working, is a lawsuit waiting to happen. She did the right thing being an advocate when her husband both failed to be an advocate but was pressuring her to be a victim of medical negligence by physically grabbing her. And that feels a little unfair on the husband as he isn't trained to be an advocate but now he is in this situation he needs to absolutely raise the bar on understanding the medical negligence that is rife through women's healthcare and how he failed in his role as a support and advocate. He can be more knowledgeable, know that he is there to make sure his partner has their needs supported, and they receive safe healthcare where they aren't put in duress.
The amount of men that make childbirth about them is too many.
It’s not about you sir. You’re there for support, not attention.
I just want to say that I love being able to catch this video as it premiers. My daughter is down to 1 nap, and it starts at 12! Perfect timing, yall. Thank you for continuing the wonderfully hilarious content.
I wonder if the first story was a civilian Dr or a Military Dr. I have a similar experience where I went in the er at the base hospital and the male Dr kept telling me everything was fine but I could just feel something wasn't right and i felt like I was about to have my son. Well the sent me home and that night I was right back there in labor. And also my meds didn't work and a nurse told me I needed to hush because I was feeling literally everything!! Like wtf who tells a laboring person to hush.
That is so horrible. That was YOUR hospital room. How dare they not listen to you. My poor mommy felt a whole c section because the anesthesia didn't take. It was an emergency, and I suppose she didn't speak up because she didn't want to delay out of fear. I can't imagine.
Your providers were definitely not there for you and neither was OP’s husband. You clearly had communicated at the beginning and during labor that something wasn’t right and was ignored again and again. I do question how coherent the OP was in this situation, due to the epidural and pain, so maybe the doctor didn’t hear/understand what the op was saying because they have to be aware of all aspects of what’s going on in the room and can be distracted. So the doctor is 50/50, Schrödinger’s Cat for me without knowing just how obvious it was that the OP was rejecting the cut.
BUT, the OP’s husband is literally only supposed to focus on the OP and understand and make everyone aware of the OPs pain and desires, so I place so much blame on him and fully support OP. Same goes with the nurses, as they tend to have specific roles and have more of a line of communication with the birth giver. To think the OP’s husband gives his embarrassment priority over his wife’s trauma is infuriating.
I got black panther as soon as he said royal.😂
As soon as I realized the word episiotomy was coming up I had already started to laugh. I knew we were in for a treat with the pronunciation.
The first story just made me sick to my stomach. Birth is literally all about the mom and baby. She was being ignored about her experience by the doctore then her husband held her down so her genitals could get cut up. They should be happy the only thing she did was to scream at them to get out. Its because of things like this that being pregnant is my biggest fear. Your own man not being on your side. Discusting. This got my blood boiling
Story 3: 😮 literally just had a convo with my husband about giving big gifts to our 4 kids while he is still alive so he can watch them enjoy it--talking 20+ years down the line here, and I am less sure I want that depending on how well we are doing, because of our age gap.
The story blew my mind though.The thought of not giving to kids WHILE THEY ARE KIDS and at least after you die, if not hopefully sharing your abundance when you're older is so sad. Why did you want kids?
You learn pretty quickly in the USA that women are not respected by doctors. Especially while giving birth. It's not a pleasant thing to go through, and it is made worse by the doctors who dismiss you at every turn. It would not have shocked me at all if the doctor had gone ahead and cut her, even without her consent. So traumatizing. Her husband should have been on HER SIDE. But, he didn't support her at all. Also - I don't normally comment, but you said you needed engagement. Here you go.
F Dead pool because canonically he has a year's worth of stamina
Marry T'challa because royalty lol
And yeet the spider lady because she could know my thoughts at any time.
Thank goodness for the beans story after the first one 🫘
I mean OP might have been stressed himself for the beans. Oh well that does suck.
pink beans? Does he mean pinto beans?
Story 1: the husband needs to get over himself big time. It's crazy to hear the woman who just went through a difficult birth talk about lacking empathy when her husband clearly is the one lacking here. Is there such a thing as "reverse projection"?
I hope one day to have as much confidence as Sean saying episiotomy
Bro yeeted the GILF spider lady smh
Thats a crazy thing to hear you say Josh. Im sorry for the callout. The husband in the first story was in NO WAY trying to comfort his wife.
I know it is something you cant understand fully, but i am confident you can try to imagine the feeling of being in your most vulnerable position and place in your life and the person who is supposed to help you is not listening you and going to do something to your body you would have no control over because your husband, your heart, the one who helped you create this human is HOLDING YOU DOWN.
Sorry for the runon sentence
The outro was so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣
1st story: she made a medical decision for herself and wasn’t being listened to or respected. I would have actually filed a complaint against the doctor if I were in her place. As someone with past issues with SA, that would trigger me so bad, especially with the husband holding her down
BoomersBeingFools is one of my favorite subs lol
I hope the parents go through all that money and live long after, when none of their children will support them. Lol.
Commenting for engagement. You're welcome 😅
G.O.A.T.
@@RedditOnWikiI feel like eating beans now tho
The story of the retired couple, that is how the system works in Australia. It is little communities public or private.
It would be great to see you guys do a collab with MamaDoctorJones on some of the birth/pregnancy etc videos!
There's crazy cases about women getting epistomies during birth without their consent, and even worse it doesnt heal right or changes your body forever... look up where that cut is btw....
the edging had me giggling
Wednesdays update should be called "Humpdate" or Midweek Humpdate, The Downhill Humpdate or something similar. Though it's just Wednesday Update using "humpday" for Wednesday instead BUT it sounds way cruder than it actually is, just for John's happiness, not Shwarns...
Hey boys, could you please explain the sean rule again? I couldnt find it anywhere
I am not even a marvel fan and I knew all of the characters😂
I'm a broke ass B but I gotta find that tampon story 😂
Guys I am *begging* you to get a mother’s opinion on stories every now and then! I love the podcast but there are so many stories that really need more background insight - and the 1st birthing story is a prime example. Episiotomies have historically been overused bc drs want birth to go faster or don’t work with women to move to a better birthing position (aka anything but on your back!). Studies have shown again and again that cutting a woman is worse recovery and unnecessary! There was not nearly enough understanding about what was going on.
Also a couple of times there have been pumping or breastfeeding stories and they really lack context from three kidless men 😅 I love y’all - and please consult some moms for stories focused on birth/motherhood
Hi guys! Long time listener here. Huge fan of you guys 🫶🏻 I’d like to make a request if I can? Could you guys please put a trigger warning for traumatic birth stories? I had one myself, as well as a negligent doctor, that basically tortured me, and it’s honestly VERY triggering to hear other’s stories. I got about 10 seconds in and had to go to story number 2.
Omg how the hell did I guess back panther
I’m dying at the pronunciation of episiotomy 😂 I have 3 kids and needed to get that 2 out of 3 of my pregnancies, I can’t imagine telling the doc NOT to cut me.
My second was a 42 hour labour and I didn’t care HOW she came out at that point, so it was an episiotomy and forceps because I wouldn’t dilate all the way.
My third I never had an episiotomy but the cord was around his neck and he almost didn’t make it. 🥺
I never felt either one of my episiotomies tho, healing was the hardest part with the stitches but op said they tore so they would have still needed stitches.
Eh-pees-ee-AH-toe-mee
I'm sure someone said it in the comments, and episiotomy is an incision from the vaginal opening to the anus. It's done to make the vaginal opening bigger so the baby's head can pass through.
I just need to comment on the goat button. It’s amazing
Hell no it's a cult
I strongly disagree with you guys on Story 3, even without the extra details. The only reason my Boomer parents owned a home was because my paternal grandparents left my dad an inheritance which my parents used as a down payment on our family’s house. My own parents have the same attitude as the parents in this story, where they’re determined to not leave my brother and I anything KNOWING that our generation is in a much, _much_ worse economic situation and that most people in our generation will never own their own homes.
I don’t get it. Boomers who themselves had a huge helping hand from their own parents seem to just hate their kids, and don’t want them to have any meaningful future opportunities. They don’t want their kids to have the same help nor good fortune, they don’t want them to be able to afford a house to raise their own families in. It’s not about greed; my dad’s parents were middle class and the inheritance was in the five digits. It’s not like he inherited fabulous lifelong wealth by any means. But it was enough to secure a house which he and my mom then worked hard to pay off the mortgage for. Nothing was “handed to them”, they still had to work very hard for decades.
My brother and I will not even get that. I’m a ranch hand and my brother is in the military and a part time bartender. Neither of us are likely to ever own a home, and my parents just do not care. They care about buying a huge RV and deliberately spending everything, for the exact purpose of leaving my brother and I without the nest egg that they benefited from.
And people wonder why American family values have disintegrated.
I been edged too
ah
Story 3, Apollo Quiboloy. Look him up.
not a justification for cheating, just to play devil's advocate a little bit. the story of the cheating husband, they kept saying he didnt vocalize his wants to his wife... but what if he did. the story is from her bias, so maybe he had asked for attention or tried to bw more intimate with her. she had the baby and her own things going on, maybe she felt overwhelmed with life. still, if he did tell her how he felt and she ignored it, maybe he thought getting that attention from someone else while still being a husband and father was his better option. ccheating is not a good option, but people make bad choices. just another perspective 🤷🏻♀️
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