The Desire to Not Exist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
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The thing with death, though, is that a footprint of your life would still be left behind. Loved ones that would mourn your loss, embarrassing moments that people would still remember. But there’s a third option that’s not temporal like sleep, and doesn’t leave hurt behind like death. If you’re watching this video right now, chances are you’ve flirted with this third option; you’ve had the desire to not exist. What exactly is this feeling? How does it differ from death? And what can it teach us about life?
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BetterHelp is a scam if I'm not mistaken
@@wolverdep4739That would basically make @ApertureThinking an even bigger scammer!!
6:10
I don’t have any money for a therapist so I watch TH-cam.
Can this therapist convince me that antinatalism is wrong? 😉
A big issue for me is, I never asked to be born.
I never wanted to be born, I never wanted to exist, yet I was thrown into this world, a family with a lot of struggles. But no one can choose their parents.
This is exactly me. I have been saying this for years
@@a.clemonsme too the fact that I was arbitrarily brought to this existence.
maybe you did, you never know. maybe your soul likes drama movies
th-cam.com/video/C2L1tjJF9h4/w-d-xo.htmlsi=pJiE7ky0i_Wda_A_
You cant choose to be born. In order to be born you need to exist in the first place. Choosing to exist is a paradox. the Potency of your existence was Actualised and you are not the actualiser.
The fact that being born is not a choice is so depressing
I actually feel that my spirit asked our Creator to be here…for some reason this always makes me feel better lol
what if the fact that were here is the evidence that we chose to be born. but chose to be born without the memory of having chosen. as a way of getting completely lost and involved in whatever kind of life the species they are plays. and if that life ends up being full of suffering and misery thats okay because this is infinite. maybe next time around it'll be a good show
@@saulverastegui9147 i don't wanna play this loop life game then dawg I just like i wanna delete my existence from every the beginning no me in heaven no me with god signing a contract to play this stupid game called life thats what I want😭😭
Exist*
@@Breakdownwithmeathat's just cope ngl, cant believe i used to think like that
No matter how's the day going, the best part is going to bed and the worst is waking up
I agree
Coffee is about the only thing I think of looking forward to the most when I wake up... 😒☕And watching some "living a life of abundance" 🙏🤗
But once all hell breaks loose for the purging time to come.... idk.... I just don't really knoe bruh.... 😤 But then when you think of everything... Even the things that make sense still doesn't seem to make much sense because everythings just an endless loop of bs and the nonsense continues with or without us around and seemingly the only thing to stop it all is if all the worst POS just get wiped the hell out or everyone at once through a mass depopulation event that's soon to come anyways due to mother nature running it's course to put us all through another ice age after some catastrophic event, like the flood or Noah or a massive volcano eruption, possibly even reptilian or alien takeover 🤔 hopefully, they'll be like, understanding of chit and provide me a safe passage to watch the chitshow unfold with front row seats with them to finally see some long waited justice and closures take place while my robots if not some fefails serve out those sandwiches. Back to that Kitchen BEACHES! 💯💊💪
@@mizum3458living a life of abundance 💪
@@mizum3458 is this a copypasta I don't know about
@@littlemilk973 that's just my way of sometimes being a vent-tea during those moments when overthinking things while lit hoping to find the answers to some of life's unanswered questions. I think I see what you did there... Or maybe I'm just overthinking too many things that don't exist... Or maybe I'm not being paranoid enough about all the things that really do. Or just maybe most everyone else is paranoid and overthinking things thinking everythings typed is always a copypasta while being an original venttea... I'm going change things up by doing a blend of matcha soon bc that tea causes the colors vibrating in the mind to want to try it that way 👽
Note, i do not claim this as my own But i feel like its the best description i have ever seen
The best analogy i have is that life is like an amusement park, there are moments of enjoyement but for the most part its just waiting around trying to stay distracted until the short few fun parts, its not that its unbearable, but i would rather just not be here, its just not worth it, but since im already here, and the people im with dont want to leave, then i guess ill just hang out until im allowed to go 🤷♂️
I am currently going through times and everyday I wish to die. I am finding myself useless, a person who will be forgotten soon enough after I die, still trying to find a way to die and escape this cruel world forever.
I wish I didn't exist every single day.
For most people to have ever lived, it's almost like they never existed, as there is no left to remember them.
I'm totally in love with this channel since the first video I've watched here
Im not suicidal but im not afraid of dying tbh... ofc my body will fight to live but mind is just leaving it up to faith 🤷♀️
i started watching the video with a knife on my throat, i was looking for something that makes sense, something that is worth... but since im a person who is always trying to be logic, the way you describe the sensation is the thing i needed... i really hope that people can make that connection on their brains...
How are you feeling now? I hope you’re still in this world with us ❤
I’ve felt this almost my whole life but I feel it has shaped me into who I am. I’m definitely a cosmic nihilist and having clinical depression that is still mostly unmedicated definitely doesn’t help but I think this feeling of not watching to exist mostly stems from my desire to not have to deal with all of life while still being quite afraid of dying
It was not my choice to be born!
Idiot narcissist parents. That had no intent on guiding or raising me 😢
but for whatever the reason we do have a choice to simply check out. am seriously trying to figure this out, why that is.
we can checkout anytime we like and we can always leave.
"I SOMETIMES WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL!"
I've just been thinking about disappearing into this void of nothingness for a while now. Not that I'm suicidal, but it's just that everything's just all been the same and I kinda just want to teleport from one dimension to another.
Tony’s mother in The Sopranos said something that wrapped it up “this all for a big nothing” that series was like secret codes hidden in dialogues
I'm with you, frankly, I don't care if I live or die. Just get me off this miserable shit-rock.
You're just as unique as anyone, special and amazing, don't hurt people just because you're a lil depressed, it's not nice to make others feel the same
I can honestly say that I have never wanted to not exist.
Most uplifting video of the year!
To no longer exist. Even for a moment. To no longer have worries. To no longer have needs. Just the warmth touch of not having to 'be' anything.
Literally my one desire.
Unfortunately, you have to exist in order to wish that you didn't.
Well dah!
Everyone seems to describe dreamless sleep as “peaceful.” I personally believe you’re still conscious in dreamless sleep it’s just that the mind has stopped creating mental objects for your conscious light to illuminate. You’re still there and that’s how you can know that it’s a peaceful state.
everytime i come back to this video its like an adventure
i never asked to be brought to this cruel existence. i have not been doing great in life, never had a good time only would have to fool myself and escape to fantasy worlds in my childhood so i wouldnt have to face the fact i was being abused under a mother who weaponizes suicide or threaten people with objects or knifes, weaponize words. and after all that the world never cared, the cops knew this but didnt exactly help. everyone knew and turned a blind eye and now im expected to function like a normal person. id rather rot after everything i remember. no one in my life knows how bad i have it for i dont like to burden others, everytime i try i ruin and distance my friends anyway so whats the point when opening up only destroys things i hold dear?
only sharing my thoughts to strangers online because this is never seen, itll be ignored or missed in the sea of many others who share their struggles.
It felt really empty, Life is not at the worst but it felt too empty
When I dream, it is usually reflections of my life. But crazy stuff tends to happen like being in a spaceship traveling to new galaxies, or sometimes new realities even. I don't have the desire to not exist though, I just wanted your perspective.
I didn't ask to be at this party. It's loud, expensive, and I'm not even having fun.
For me it's more like wishing to exist in a realm of solely consciousness, completely alone, without any kind of material existence.
I wish to be the only one knowing of my existence , the only one perceiving my being.
So I'd say that in my case, instead of desiring to not exist at all, I simply wish to not exist to others, I don't want other people to see, feel or have an image of me.
The only one I'd share my existence with is my cat, he's the only one capable of truly loving me, without having any kinds of expectations or images of me, he's not able of misunderstanding me and only he knows me to a level that even I might never be able to reach, the only thing keeping our consciences apart is this realm of material reality we live in.
(Sorry if I made some mistakes, English is not my first language)
you do not remember anything before you were born, and you would not remember anything when you die.
I have experienced alternative reality in my sleep, it was just so real, don't know if it's true or some kind of indication or just something random.
since i was 5 years old i am mad at my parents to make me withowt my considarations ...i did not want to be here...i still dont i dont want to exist
Deep music , say some shit and then sell something 😂😂😂
I feel like we get this feeling because somewhere deep in our subconscious, we know we are not from here. Even the Bible says, you are in this world but not of this world 🌎. Delores Cannon has a way of cracking your mind with info if you like going down the rabbit hole and asking big question about our universe, you should check her work out.
Considering we originated from an asteroid hitting Earth that's correct. We are literally part of the cosmos and were formed from the building blocks of life.
I honestly love so many things in this world, I love talking to all these strangers on the internet, or just nature outside or my favorite food, but I would still prefer to not exist, like I WANT to exist but, I just can't do it, so I always imagine waking up one day to find that all the humans have disappeared and I'm free of any and all responsibilities, I can sleep all day or laze around all day, or I can go outside and just lay down on the road and no one would say anything. It's so peaceful. I don't want to die, but I really don't want to live. If I were ever to be reincarnated I wouldn't want to be an animal, because animals don't get to enjoy things humans do, but animals live so wonderfully, especially a pet and you get so much love. I just wish we could all enjoy life for what is was supposed to be, but we are all trying so hard to survive, there's no time to live.
I have no desire to exist but I'm also not depress nor suicidal.
Im gonna have to interrupt you right there because ever since I was 8 years old all I wanted was to not exist and that feeling NEVER left never still feel it now even at 30 and with 2 attempts of suicide after
man, all i wanna do is watch, not take part
I think if so many humans think this way, may be this is not our thinking, its satan's whispers. Satan an ungrateful being and luring humans by his whisper to make them hate life.
And the thing is what can you do about it, you are here, you are alive, you can't go anywhere, you still have to deal with life.
if you guys want to feel or at least drift away from reality for a short amount of time, i have a solution for that! Here's what you have to do.
1.Stay still, if you move even a little bit you might not be able to focus
2.Normalize your breathing or hold your breath,this will also help you focus and/or drift away from reality easier, trust me
3.Close your eyes
4.Wait for it, it takes patience and time to get there.
5.If you feel bliss, then you have done it. Congratulations!
Now, you have drifted away, if you want to go back, simply open your eyes
I definitely wish I was never born. I’m still here for now. That’s a plus… I guess.
These videos are always entertaining.
sleep is just death being shy
I fear sleeping is just you and nothing and to be honest nothing is scary , I don't want to die , all the people who I have all the things I have to do I just want to end what O have started and make more good things, until I die , I think its a good way to live
I'd be curious to see a poll about how much of the world's population would honestly prefer not to exist.
People with traumas and everyone else who are broken mentally, physically or/and emotionally
One point for yes
I'm out
@@Brousey A lot my friend, including me.
I think my main issue with that question is that people's answer to this question will change depending on where they are in life I think people who would prefer to not exist can get to a place where they are glad to exist
I wish I didn't exist every day.
"I don't want to die. I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all."
Freddie Mercury
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters…
I had memory loss from a head injury when I was 15, maybe a week and a half completely erased. Yet, somehow, when my memory returned I was aware that time had passed and could almost feel that my consciousness had taken a rest, it was turned off. I think this is closest I’ll get to not existing, and I’ll admit it was quite peaceful. I felt like my soul had rested somehow.
I had a head injury when I was small, and the rest of the day is still a complete blank to me
It makes you wonder how much of you is based on genetic information
Where does the mind begin, and the brain end?
It's not that you don't want to exist. It's that you're burnt out.
same for me during the OP when they removed my wisdom teeth. it was such a feeling of relief to not have any feelings, emotions, thoughts... and then i woke up.
"To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house."
-Peter Wessel Zapffe
Much agreed.
depends on the genetics received.
@@OnlyTruth_All current genetics are flawed. All end in death.
Search "Universe 25 Experiment" mimics our society right now, and it's frightening.
The house was originally built with wood.
We go to the void and come from it. Desire to not exist is just nostalgia.
That is a great insight.
yeah interesting maybe we want to the void so we can drift, and be spit out again
I often have the desire to sleep because then you have the feeling of not existing or no active thinking which is pleasing.
If death is just endless sleep…I’m cool with that.
When i sleep. Im awake at the same time. I can think even while in a dream and ots like being awake and sleep
I often sleep too much because of this 😬
@@MsHalfrican420me too. No guilt. Oh but the pleasure of a well earned nap! ✨⭐🌠
How can you 'feel' anything while sleeping? I mean consciously. You can obviously feel fear in a nightmare but that's not conscious.
"And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
But better than both
is the one who has never been born,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun."
-Bible
which chapter and verse is this from this quote is deep asf
@@buzzdoesnotbuzz3330 Ecclesiastes 4:2-3, with this specifically being from the New International Version
Thats deep mate.
Seems the ancient folk experienced this feeling too.
truth is Christ came down to Earth to tell ppl that making babies is a huge sin but ppl distorted his words for the benefit of the evil one
@@venepskeuten9206
Jesus, I really do need to read the Bible. Theres alot of good stuff in there
I have never found a reason for “not wanting to exist”. Even when I’m happy, I still wish I didn’t exist. I don’t want to die, that would be the end of my life. I just simply wish to not have been born.
i agree. the worst part is that we didn't decide to be born. i never have wanted to exist. it sucks
I lost my 13-year-old daughter to suicide six months ago. As a form of self-therapy and means to try and help other people, I've been creating videos in which I explore nature and narrate my journey with grief. Content like this is also tremendously helpful. Thank you for taking the time to share this with the world.
I hope you get enough sleep
Im sorry for your loss. As a stranger, words come and go with no weight behind them, and i can never comprehend the pain you are going through but if it helps i hope you can find someday something that gives meaning to your grief.
God bless you, your daughter and any around you. May love be with you and I pray for you. A hug from a stranger may not mean much but know that you are surrounded by hugs and that you are never alone. Hugs
@@shadowtrickster5117 Kind words go a long way in a cold world. Hugging you back.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm suicidal, but I also fantasize about never having existed at all. Thank you for making this video.
same 😭
Fredo I’m there with u…
Don't be suicidal, be furious, when you force a man to live his life in his own personal Hell, you shouldn't be surprised if he elects to become The Devil. For you to die of sheer despair is what they want, don't give it to them so easily, if you're gonna punch your own ticket, take a piece of the world with you, and make them regret it. Winning is not an option, but we can make damn sure they know our misery.
@@involuntaryanalysisThat sounds worse than just ending you're life.
@@involuntaryanalysis This is literally school shooter ideology disguised as a chadbro self-help motto. You're even worse off than we are.
Existing is Exhausting.
"The bad thing about my life is that it was someone else's idea."
Life is like a gift that someone else gives you..
But you don't have to accept the gift
@@igot5onit423 but you are forced to accept the gift.
the depressed people speedrunning to the comment section:
Love you guys ❤️
We are in this together🔥✊
ADHD'rs as well
@@FuzzyWCTXthis
Facts
The worst part about life is its not consensual
Ur forced into life and then forced to live by the rules of others with no freedom to do what you want unrestricted
Other people created you
Other people rule you
Sometimes I wish I could just take a break from life just rip my soul from my body or just teleport somewhere else
Constantly questioning why this place
I ask why we exist but we never asked to exist we were forced to exist by our parents who created us
They never asked if we wanted to exist they also can’t ask either but if we made the choice to not exist why is that seen as bad
We’re forced to live literally and by also not being allowed to die
You created me without my consent but I can’t die without yours
Why do you have say in my existence and whether or not I can or can’t end it
Why are we forced to live and why is it seen as bad to want to end a life you never wanted
It’s my life not yours but the truth is it isn’t my life cuz my life exists because of somebody else
Whatever pain death would bring others is forced they wouldn’t even feel pain if they or I or both never existed
Especially when people have kids on accident
You didn’t plan and or want kids and now they are forced to not only live but also live with the fact they basically never were supposed to exist
Life quite literally isn’t fair
But at least death is
Fair Input on consent of existence
Astral projection
Life truly is an unintentional burden.
I agree so much with this bro
This is why I've adopted a personal policy of lightly restrained hostility. I'm only ever angry or apathetic.
I’m too compassionate to bring another life into this world. I work, struggle, and endure for a living; doesn’t mean I have to bring a new life to do the same.
Exactly 💯 💯
You got that right
Same. What I really "like" is when delusional people try to put you down by saying it's just Darwinism, etc. As if they won something by reproducing. They don't understand they just perpetuate the cycle of misery. But hey, let them feel "strong" and "successful", in the end it doesn't matter. One gamma ray burst from nearby supernova or a supervolcano eruption may end it all any day.
I agree, I'll never give birth🤝🏾
Same here
I've been having these thoughts a lot lately, so it's interesting to see aperture, my favorite channel, talk about this concept of not wanting to exist. It makes me feel better and worse at the same time, reading the comments. Better because I'm not alone but worse because so many of us are in this thought process.
I just got finished reading "Seneca How to Die"....
You truly can't live until you have died...
Once you no longer fear death, you can truly live a full life...
The pain comes from attachment...
Learn to detach from everything in order to truly experience everything...
Suggest reading ead "Meditations from Marcus Aurelius" the Gregory Hayes edition....
It will change your whole outlook in life for the better....
@@loveme77527will it really tho????.... Don't you think all those young guns running around holding People up, smashing and grabbing, being most reckless, playing God with random lives at will without a care in the world being wild are living their lives truly free without fear or worries of losing their freedoms to death or prisons... Are they or will they truly be free???? Maybe they might feel like they're living out GTA IRL enjoy the wild adventures in the moment... But are they really happy???? Maybe happier than most as long as they're able to shut off their care for others and get their rage out.... But is it really worth it???? Is that true freedom???? Maybe... It can be bliss to live in selfish ignorance for most I don't really know what's even true anymore when it comes to how so much or this life doesn't seem to really have much meaning anymore than it didn't seem to have much before when I find myself thinking back about all the things that once had some meaning, but ended up having no meaning all once being forced to take so many redpills to the realities of life dealing with far too much BS. It's as if maybe you're right... The fomo is like yolo... Life is just a twisted simulation game... Maybe the outlaws are free in many ways... Free to not a give a single F about anybody or anything else other than what they feel like... And the rest can just all take a permanent dirt nap or something 😒
I don't really know... But too much of that or any of it all seems very wrong tho... 🤔
I think you've got it wrong there...but at the same time it seems you also got it right 🤦
It feels a whole lot better to just never had to ever exist at all in the first place. There seems to be no real meaning other than whatever we give it...life is just complicated 😓
@@loveme77527 oh wow thank you! I will definitely read those :)
@@neonlights42
I suggest reading MEDITATIONS first...🙏
@@loveme77527 just ordered it on Amazon:)
existence is kinda cruel imo as a human anyway. you’re just born into a vast universe you’ll never understand, without your consent. your mind is capable of asking the most wonderful questions, yet every time you understand something the universe goes all zeno’s paradox of the dichotomy on you.
if i could take back my existence i would without a first thought.
i mean so much wonder and beauty is scattered across mind boggling distances or locked in a different time. there’s things we can never know. ever.
we can never watch the universe begin, see how it ends. know every galaxy, every star, every planet.
we cant even know everything about us. each person is infinitely complex, and it’s impossible to know them all.
honestly I don't even like sleeping anymore because I know I'll wake up and I have no idea whether or not I'll feel more miserable and tired than the time I fell asleep or feel somewhat better
hi I feel same. Its more related to the fact that I not able to control my bad habits.
@@tarunkumargola7633You can get help my dude. It's not easy admitting that you need help but you've managed to that much so why not take the next step? What are you waiting for? You know that you'll be happier if you can fix the things you don't like about yourself. Life is too short to be miserable.
Sleep is one of my favorite things to do. Since I don't sleep well, I end up lying in the dark for hours worrying about the past the present and future
"In the beginning, when the universe was created....many regarded this as a bad move."
- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
May you explain that quote
" The number 42 represents the meaning of life & the universe."
-Supercomputer "Deep Thought." >
The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
Sometimes i feel guilty for feeling such way, when there are people out there facing worse problems. People who in fact have no choice, their desire to live is as big as my desire to cease
Literally how im feeling.. I think such awful thoughts but this guilt eats me up everyday time because there are people with worse situations
existin is pain.
Nerd
And Love
@@VincentmaybehumanDid you miss the fact that it's okay and even hot now to be a nerd?
@@Vincentmaybehumanunderstanding and slight sympathy seems to he something you do not have
@@gooberius it was a joke dawg💀
I don't like afterlifes either, heaven or hell. You are still experiencing something which means you still exists. I'd rather stay empty, unconscious and beyond the concept of nothing after I finally die.
I look forward to 150y into the future. By then I'll be long gone and all those who knew me or even crossed my path will be gone too. All that will be left of me is some records in a computer.
Someone once told me this: 'When you sleep, you are not always guaranteed to wake up.'
This effected me.
I may think similar to what I thought back before I was disclosed to this statement, but I try to live my life to the fullest.
I have (or used to have) an ideology for ceasing to exist.
Sleep is often considered an escape. People like Shakespeare wrote Macbeth in 1606, and one of the best quotes is 'Macbeth hath murther sleep' (Macbeth has murdered sleep), which in context means that Macbeth has lost _his_ own escape from reality.
If we 'murder' our sleep, we are stressed, and need help.
Stress can have physical symptoms, and can be a large cause of anxiety and/or depression.
If you read this far, thanks for reading my rant.
It's greatly appreciated.
I enjoy learning about the human mind.
I feel like I’m in a game where i don’t want to continue playing anymore.
More like what even point of playing ( enduring suffering) in this meaningless game
I relate to this so much! It feels like I’ve reached the “endless summer” mode where I completed the story mode and now I’m just running around in the open world with nothing else to accomplish that’s meaningful to the plot
Sometimes, when I hurt someone or argue with my sibling and parents, I wish I didn’t exist, so that these situations would never happen.
wish i had never been born to hurt them.
"Sleep is just death being shy"
I've felt this way on and off. As a sci-fi fan I've sometimes wondered why deep interstellar space exploration has such an immense pull. Travelling in an environment that is more lethal than anything on earth with no chance of returning, eventual loss of communication with Earth and minimal chance of reaching the intended destination alive.
Yet, given the chance of going on a one way trip to oblivion I'd jump at the chance.
It's not even death that is the main attraction but just the process of disappearing into nothingness, totally disconnected from everything and everyone and returning to the state of insignificance to the universe from where we all originated.
I feel you. Even going to space with a suit not attached and knowing I will die because of no oxygen after some time.
man, i just wanna experience the black holes
There was a few years in my childhood where I was genuinely mad at my mom for giving birth to me in our broken family, poverty stricken life, but I got over it eventually.
Me too. Perhaps I’m not alone in this way of thinking.
How ?…
@@BrandonnPhm2140 Given enough time. And you just get used to it
I have no loved ones left,they're already dead. I can literally disappear and not be missed.
I was in a car crash that almost killed me this year. Up until this point in my life I had never really given much thought about what comes after death. Since my car crash though, it made me truly come to the realization that there is very likely nothing after death, which terrifies me. This immense fear has had such a hold on me this year that I have felt paralyzed. Sometimes I wonder if it is better to not have existed than to exist at all.
Interesting that it terrifies you. To me, that sounds like paradise. Nothingness, ahh so close yet so far. Assuming of course that death is nothing.
It is better
I feel the same way
If u don't.mind,how old are you?
Since ppl can die at any time.Everyone should think about what happens after death.
I find it absolutely hilarious how we believe how special we think we are, yet reality is: we are nothing. Sounds obvious enough, but when you look at the concept of 'the afterlife' and deities in religion, you can see this clear as day. It is only a false concept invented for control of the masses, to justify a war or to deter them from what they really want within themselves. The afterlife is such one thing: die, repent all sins, and you'll be good to go spending eternity in a heavenly garden with all you could want. That sounds incredibly boring when factoring in human nature.
Deities are another thing: omnipotent, supposedly-all-knowing beings beyond space and time that created us specifically for.... what, exactly? Merely a concept meant to quell fears of the unknown, the depressive thoughts that our lives do not matter in the long run.
Why is childhood such a magical time and adulthood so difficult and lonely
As someone who’s autistic I heavily relate to the part about overstimulation and feeling like your performing 7:15
I just had a really bad overstim moment today.
Episodes like that make it so hard to like my body and the experiences it manifests by being in said body.
"I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to." - Donnie Darko
A few days ago I had a dream where all my family members were there even my dog who passed away 4 months ago. It was a beautiful dream, there was this gorgeous sunset and I played card games with my grandparents...they told me that they were proud of me, of what I've done with my life. I woke up crying really bad and for a moment in that dream I thought I died and went to heaven. The thing is...im an atheist
Therapy definitely is/ can be life changing. But only when YOU want help. You cant help someone who doesnt want help.
Well, yeah. But I think it always isn't voluntarily like that. For me it's that I do want help, and know I would need it. But on emotional/psychological level, I can't really receive it at all. If someone tries to help me (maybe a professional or someone else) I just don't feel anything, it's just conversation where I'm listing the issues to them, that I've become so used to that they don't even feel like anything. And like, I really don't see any way to help myself. No one else can change my life, or change what I'm feeling. Not at this point anyways, maybe years ago it would've been possible.
@CinemaFIN perhaps you aren't talking to the right professional. I've been in and out of therapy and finding the right person for you is trial and error. I've recently been going again after over a decade of giving up. I woke up one day and I had decided I didn't want to suffer anymore, my whole life I'd been convinced by my mother that I wasn't worthy of jackshit and I took that with me for my entire adult life. Went through so much shit because I felt this certain way.
What I'm trying to say is even when it feels like it's not working, take a deeper look. Why are things this way? Why am I feeling this way? What could be causing this to cause this to make me feel this way? And what can I do to make it better? I'm sorry for this super long rant. If you want to send me a message and we can talk I am more than willing to help!
@@Indigowulfchild4 Or perhaps not everyone gets to live a fulfilling happy life no matter how hard they try. Some people will find their solution and others will die searching for it.
@@cfnmediait doesn't matter! At the end of the day or whatever... Most of the time, nobody really cares.. especially if you're a male, nobody cares, and ultimately it's only ourselves that's going to have to be the ones to do anything for ourselves if we can somehow. Nobody can walk through the fire for us but ourselves... In many ways Andrew Tate has it right. The manosphere has it the most right with how things really are. It's sink or swim and nobody really cares but ourselves and those who've been or are going through the same or similar things themselves to understand anything... Everyone else couldn't give a single chits fucen in a ranch Doritos bag or not even anything at all about us and our struggles. 💯💊😓
can you explain how therapy helps? I'm considering going to therapy because i can't take it anymore.. i have tried main stream trends like affirmations, positive thinking ect but i think there's some core belief stuffs i need to look at.. yesterday i tried to analyze myself and felt physically weak and sick..
I often think about the impacts my family would have to face if I were to commit suicide, the neighbors would talk, my family would lose face, they would have to physically and financially deal with my corpse, it would leave behind a traumatic experience, all the money they've invested in me would go to waste, etc, etc. That's why flirting with the desire to not exist at all in the first place is so appealing to me.
This is the same reason why I struggle to keep living... The cup of coffee that I have to keep choosing every single day
"I never asked to be born"
I’m at work and I’ve never saved something to my watch later for when I get home so quickly than this video I am so excited.
I like sleeping because when im in sleep i don't feel any kind of emotions at all, if death is like going to sleep i would love to close my eyes and never wake up
Life is the gift that no one asked for but everyone got. It's like when someone buys you a smoothie machine or some other random shit you'll never even open, but you have to pretend it's what you always wanted. "Oh I'll use this EVERY DAY! Thank you so much for this gift!" *kicks it into a closet*
Who else watched this video at 3 am?
This channel don’t ever miss 👏
If you never existed, you wouldn't know the difference. After death, there is what was; no you. If you don't have kids, they don't know the difference, and you've saved potential persons of having to make existential videos on the desire not to exist, or watching them.
I had an interesting argument with a pre needs funeral salesman I know I don't have much time left. Less than ten years. I just don't want to leave a mess. But all this chatter about viewings and markers just reminded me. No one will know or care why would I want to pay for it. 😢
As long as I'm sleeping its the best time of my life . Last 4-5 years have been the toughest of my life I'm waiting for redemption
Still as long as my parents are alive I wont ever try to leave the world forcefully by myself
Same here. I dont want to cause more suffering by my absence
same i couldn’t do that
When your only reason for living is your parents guilt-tripping you into extending your misery by another day, that's not living at all.
This sentence is false, and so are the sentences after this one.
You will die tomorrow.
You are awesome.
You have friends.
You are the center of the universe and everything in it.
You are the best person ever to exist.
Make what you will of this information
there were days where I wish i was never even born in the first place. A couple of times i even told my mom when i was younger somewhere around 12 or 13 and i said to her why did you birth me i did not want to be born i did not want to exist at all i wish there was some way i can just be deleted leave nothing behind even my very soul to not exist at all there are times i thought physical deleting myself would help but then i thought about it some more and changed my mind because that would not work then i would still be in soul the very fact that i can't erase anything of myself is the worst
I dont want eternal life or eternal hell, I just want to never exist.
Everytime my family ask for money and I don't have enough to make them satisfied, I feel like this
I feel that too.
Money should not exist..
It's ok. I hope your family somehow understands your struggle.
Thank God I'm not alone.😢
How ironic, they bring you here on earth just to make you their mule
We can think of it as if sleeping exist because existing is so stressful to us, therefore we need a break from it, a reset
I was unconscious before I was born. I am conscious now that I am alive. I will be unconscious again after I die. Implying I could be born again and become conscious again as something else some other time some other place. The mind and body die after death, but the soul returns to the same state it was before you were alive. We are dead before we are born. The ego dies, the soul sleeps.
Who are sleeping to avoid this weird world.
If only at 60 I find myself auditing memories every night. Depressing 😢
*Me reading the title
“Go on…”
i wish my parents cared about me to help lmao
Why! Maybe the desire to not exist is the only sane position.