EP 02 | What if I was Gay?

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ความคิดเห็น • 102

  • @BeeneNgululu
    @BeeneNgululu 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    Dare I say that we’re not loud enough. So many of the topics that you brought up I’ve been thinking about for some time now.
    Sexuality and religious aspects. The fact that Africa is psychologically governed by Shaaaamme? It feels so good finally have the lexicon to articulate it. Wow. You have a beautiful mind. Mad respect to you Sofi. From one African to another.

  • @khafilataminu8609
    @khafilataminu8609 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    In my personal experience, most people publicly hate on things that they privately yearn for.

  • @everydaypinkboy
    @everydaypinkboy 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Many comedy skits where men dress as women seem to lack respect for the female experience. It’s often just for laughs, reducing women's lives and struggles to stereotypes and punchlines. This really should spark a deeper conversation-why do so many comedians think the easiest way to succeed is by mocking women? As a society, we need to ask ourselves what it says about us when we find humor in something that diminishes and trivializes women's realities.

  • @Iamtessy_d
    @Iamtessy_d 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I have a whole lot to say honestly, but imma keep it short.
    If you listen to what people say, you honestly won't be able to live your life
    so please live your lie whichever way you choose. That is literally Happiness
    Thank you so much sofi, this is the more reason why i followed you in the first place. The authenticity and genuineness is what keeps me and i'll forever be an O.G SUBSCRIBER

  • @bontle8536
    @bontle8536 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    My Mom told me from a young age to mind my own business, and i go about life accepting people exactly the way they are. Respect ❤

  • @EK-jp5hz
    @EK-jp5hz 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I’m so glad you brought up shame, I was LITERALLY just talking about this the other day. The day africans as a whole are released from shame, is the day we move forward 😅😭

  • @blvckmimah8653
    @blvckmimah8653 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Apart from the sexuality aspect
    It’s feels so hard sometimes to express yourself because you feel people won’t even understand where you come from

  • @be_like_ivo_
    @be_like_ivo_ 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Oddity I was crying with a bowl of popcorn listening to this episode, I feel oppressed in my own country and I can't even afford to live, that's what gives me courage to work twice as hard, I always quote Billie eilish -lovely "I hope one day I make it out of here, Even if it takes a day or a thousand years" no one deserves to live in fear like this

  • @Blackk802
    @Blackk802 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love this video! Thank you for expressing yourself and sharing your thoughts. I will be subscribing now.

  • @badjobella
    @badjobella 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thank you for starting this important conversation & articulating it so clearly. The level of shame and sexual repression in the African community is honestly so heartbreaking. You just gave someone the courage to honor themselves bc of this❤

  • @Aisha_j10
    @Aisha_j10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is so satisfying to watch and as edgy as it sounds it’s what makes it more satisfying and enjoyable ❤️❤️❤️

  • @triumphfj_
    @triumphfj_ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    . As individuals, especially Nigerians there’s so much we all have to unpack.. & this made me reflect.
    We need to continuously work on not being ruled by shame based on upbringing versus how we choose to liveour life

  • @lifeofdorcas
    @lifeofdorcas 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Just subscribed from this episode, I’m a Nigerian mum and I was brought up to mind my business. Never shame anyone especially when you are not walking in their shoes. I understand how you don’t want to be perceived a certain way especially by your community (Nigeria) but youll be shocked how enlightened most people are these days. Especially the ones online… you did great having this uncomfortable conversation… be you! Everyone else will adjust or be fine ❤

  • @Thatgirlrocks_
    @Thatgirlrocks_ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I’m a Nigerian who’s still isolated due to her environment…. A Muslim and a dancer how about that??…..we need to do more as Africans….we’re humans…..thanks for shedding light to this religion convo sofi❤️

  • @Michelle-oj4wv
    @Michelle-oj4wv 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I think this is an important conversation to have, especially within the African community. I think a lot of heterosexual people don’t bring up this topic either because they’re homophobic themselves or they believe I don’t hate gay people so I’m good. But we actually need y’all to speak up for us because that’s how we start changing peoples minds. The only thing I would push back on (even though I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way) is the whole “who cares” conversation, I think this idea of who cares who you have in your bed whittles down our sexuality to just s*x meanwhile it affects so much more than that. I think it’ll be cool to have Amara the Lesbian as a guest, she’s nigerian and lesbian and recently left Nigeria, if you want to open up the conversation that would be a cool way to do it. (She was also bald for a few years so y’all have that in common 😂)

  • @BarbeeRuffin
    @BarbeeRuffin 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your desire preference doesn’t matter at all to me that ur business . It’s doesn’t affect me at all . Here for the vibes and holding spaces to listen and let you be . Much love 💕

  • @ekaa5255
    @ekaa5255 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I am a Nigerian-American in my 40s. Let me be loud too and clap for you and Donald. I understand the bravery required to have this convo online. I am so proud of you two. After listening I do think of you differently. I have the upmost respect for your perspectives, vulnerability, and ability to have this convo with respect even for those in our community who do not agree. We should all be free to live as ourselves without shame or fear. ❤

  • @PerfectlyPosa
    @PerfectlyPosa 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    When you said "I never understood why it mattered who she liked" That was me as a child. As an adult, I still don't understand why it matters how another lives and loves. With everything happening in Nigeria especially, Why is this the focus.

  • @muralisan-zt4hj
    @muralisan-zt4hj 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Those who know already knew and who cares, live your life to the fullest, that's what really matters.

  • @liliangathanga9172
    @liliangathanga9172 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I was here for the tea. But as a counselor and first generation American love this!!!! We need to be having these conversations ❤❤

  • @GraceEGChronicles
    @GraceEGChronicles 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I think people wanting to know may not necessarily to be intrusive but some may be looking for that virtual community they may or may not find in you that they’ve not had the bliss of having in real life. It is necessary for these conversations so that it gives grace to black Africans who are imprisoned in a life that only shame awaits them should they dare be themselves unapologetically.

  • @Life_with_Favour
    @Life_with_Favour 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Sofi thank you so much for this episode for starting your podcast everything. This topic isn’t only for the queer communities it’s for the people that are different who don’t associate with the societal norms especially here in Nigeria
    I really love this episode thank you Sofi😊❤️❤️

  • @Selfimage_elevated
    @Selfimage_elevated 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Wow you are such an intelligent woman. I am in awe of you. Just amazing Sofi. Thank you dooo much for this.

  • @Life_with_Favour
    @Life_with_Favour 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    31:43 A lot of people can bring up the “Family name “ “ Family Image” “ what would people think” like who cares😩 let’s live our lives the way we want
    I’m a Nigerian Igbo girl who loves piercings and wears only black and sometimes I question my sexuality I can’t do something’s cause I’m not financially stable to leave my parents house🥺 it’s just sad

  • @DebbieRay64
    @DebbieRay64 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great episode. I always ask people, "Why do you care? Is it affecting your life in any way?"

  • @Deli_88
    @Deli_88 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I'm glad you're calling out African countries. The fact that we'll jail people for who they want to love in a consenting adult relationship but won't jail pedophiles or rapists is wild

  • @maryamakintunde680
    @maryamakintunde680 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was soo good❤

  • @Echoesofexperiencee
    @Echoesofexperiencee 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is the type of conversation I expected and here it is. We really need to be loud 📢 Period 🤌
    The Theme is well deserved "AM I TOO LOUD" ❤❤💯

  • @dominique9934
    @dominique9934 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Everything you have said. I have had to deal with living here in NC. The southern states, or "Bible Belt," are so judgmental of how other people live their lives. At the same time, they would be doing things behind closed doors that would have them being judged. I joined the Air Force when I was 19, in 1997. I ended up in Las Vegas. That was the best experience of my life. Being able to travel outside the US in the Air Force. Have my eyes open to the world and meet new people from different backgrounds.

  • @TemisanAdebiyi
    @TemisanAdebiyi 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It shouldn’t be anyone’s business truly as long as there are 2 consenting adults!

  • @ngoziuwafili2202
    @ngoziuwafili2202 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You being gay for change anything. I love you regardless of your sexuality and love interests. have always been a huge fan

  • @khafilataminu8609
    @khafilataminu8609 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Before I go any further, respect the respect pleeeeeaaaassseeee!!!

  • @kemioseni
    @kemioseni 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Respect other people and respect their decisions

  • @kemioseni
    @kemioseni 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Loveee this episode!
    Like let people be themselves!

  • @mstiniquesjourney6139
    @mstiniquesjourney6139 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I haven't reached the point where you answered the question, but the real answer does not matter to me. Like you said, it is your business and I whole heartedly feel that everyone should follow their heart and just make sure not to hurt anyone. That is all

  • @TheLatinoShow
    @TheLatinoShow 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wen you like someone you like them irrespective of their sexuality,dont care live ur life dear love you so much more❤

  • @ngoziuwafili2202
    @ngoziuwafili2202 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You actually answered the question

  • @Zina_Sarah
    @Zina_Sarah 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I enjoyed this so much…love you Sophie🥰

  • @SadamOmoAkin
    @SadamOmoAkin 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    for this conversation, for me its my religion that comes first, i am a muslim and ideally, same sex relationship is just a waste of time, not just for raising a family but just between both parties but where's the fun there....... yes i went to a boarding school too and i understood these things from tender ages but no for me but it doesn't really affect how ill have dealings with gay, i respect boundaries alot.
    sofi, regardless of what you want or choose for yourself, it doesn't change how i have seen and liked what you do but i don't see you as a gay sha

    • @christianayusuf1954
      @christianayusuf1954 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      With everything she said... She is. Nobody's sexuality matters more than who they actually are.

  • @chisomfavour1431
    @chisomfavour1431 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are amazing, and I hope you keep being you, regardless. I pray for success in this new channel and I what ever you put your hands into. Love you ❤

  • @traceyberthoud9553
    @traceyberthoud9553 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Pretty Good. You won't get cancelled. There are podcast way more outlandish. This is not even a heavy topic Sofi. You are good ya dig??😊

  • @EvelynAlfred-gj2oj
    @EvelynAlfred-gj2oj 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Watching this episode now is shifting my mind and reasoning about my life decisions ❤😢

  • @favourenu2
    @favourenu2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Exactly!!! 35:43
    Who made all the rules, why is everything a certain way and the society just wants us to accept it just like that without having to question anything... Someone finally said something about this shit. Cuz at the end of the day everybody has their perspective on how they view things and I think we should all be able to accommodate everyone just the way they are and not having to judge them or feel like they're wrong cuz we don't agree with their perspective.

  • @FranklinAduah
    @FranklinAduah 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I feel like culture also plays a role in all this .

  • @Joycealao
    @Joycealao 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The type of conversations we need to be having!!!!!

  • @YovelaFashion__
    @YovelaFashion__ 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This episode just validated my thought process 😊.
    At least I’m not alone in this world Minding the Business that pays me and associating with people for being humans without getting worked up about their orientation and personal preferences 😊😊

  • @TheLatinoShow
    @TheLatinoShow 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My problem is all this people judging nd being homophobic are are evil than the people they are even condemning,one should have right to there sexual choice who others decided to sleep with should never be another person business,let everyone be their unapologetic self.love this conversation ❤

  • @prityprinses
    @prityprinses 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are you and that’s more than enough ❤❤❤

  • @Precious-b7v
    @Precious-b7v 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am a Nigerian and honestly I agree with you but Nigerian’s are really big on religion and morality and that is the center of everything for us as and anything that doesn’t align with it is wrong. Honestly times are changing and we are evolving just try to mind your business the fact that it doesn’t align with your beliefs doesn’t mean it is wrong

  • @sheis_jhay
    @sheis_jhay 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Listen to this on Spotify and I had to come here to watch to get your facial expressions to everything you said… whether you are gay or not the few people who loves you will always do regardless I mean we are humans and we don’t get to choose who we are attracted to or who we have feelings for it comes naturally like you said as Africans we tend to fight that spirit of sexually getting attracted to a girl just because of what the society will say or do…you see you’re the most vulnerable and confident person ever to come out and say stuffs like this because a lot of people shy away from this topic and there’s more to this…. regardless I have a different opinion about this gay topic

  • @sofiiisoffss
    @sofiiisoffss 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wait this is too good omg

  • @oluwayemilydia3708
    @oluwayemilydia3708 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s the heeeh for me 😂… most, of our questions to others could be intrusive. I just hope that on every life issue, rather than worrying about the opinions of others (which they’ll have either way) we sincerely remain true to God and ourselves ✌🏾
    And yea I did wait for the tea - very intrusive 🙈😂
    Thanks Sophie ❤️

  • @godsdelightagu
    @godsdelightagu 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Damn! Sophie is so smart 🥺

  • @lanreibrahim5873
    @lanreibrahim5873 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Am listening and making sure your messages are heard

  • @snakeyebrat8136
    @snakeyebrat8136 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great vlog. Nice interaction between you and Donald. Looking forward to more

  • @meenahwurldz
    @meenahwurldz 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Everything about survival in Nigeria just revolves around shame
    Existing as a man or woman, you have to do things that won't put your family into shame
    We barely get to live life as our authentic self

  • @ToniaTameka
    @ToniaTameka 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    2 episodes down and baabbbyyy!! Top Tier Podcast!!!! 💜💜 #betooloud
    I really think white colonialism is what brought shame, fear, and violence to queerness.

  • @PreciousMaxwell-y6z
    @PreciousMaxwell-y6z หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is real!!!!!
    Like we are not all created the same way, we feel , express and understand differently, so I just wonder why I can't be myself because the society says otherwise.
    For example all iphone 16 was made alike and they function same way, making rules for them is okay cuz they are alike but humans are not the same, so just let people be who they are and it shouldn't be anyone's business

  • @Leilaesthy
    @Leilaesthy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sofie we love you regardless ❤ may your light always shine bright 🥰

  • @feehi_2275
    @feehi_2275 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    People need to understand that sexuality is not a person’s whole being. There are so many bits to a person. People should look or focus on other things In people. Why do you see someone and the important thing for you is who they sleep with?

  • @khafilataminu8609
    @khafilataminu8609 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    To be really honest, I don’t think our society is ready to have this conversation.
    Realities are different - cultures are different. Especially for Africans.
    It’s only like 1 in 10 African (Nigerian) kids that grow up questioning the norm. Upbringings are reeeaaally different.

    • @thatsoryam
      @thatsoryam 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think more people that we think are part of a spectrum and not allowing this conversation to happen is not allowing them to even explore the possibility of them being part of the spectrum. I am also think about people who have ADHD or autism or who are neurodivergent here...

  • @yours_xtruly
    @yours_xtruly 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much

  • @vanessadh3939
    @vanessadh3939 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    If you went home to Nigeria to visit your family, would you be afraid? Not of your family's reaction, but of the Nigerian government...of being arrested or detained? You have not actually answered the question, as that was not the point of the podcast, but would the question of it put you in any danger in Nigeria?

  • @Rubberleg10
    @Rubberleg10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My biggest fear in life is my children becoming gay God have mercy on me I don’t want to be failed as a parent

    • @AmITooLoudPod
      @AmITooLoudPod  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That doesn't make you a failure. Just love your children💚

  • @chefboyarzee
    @chefboyarzee 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Proud of you Sofi 🫶🏾

  • @BeeneNgululu
    @BeeneNgululu 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love your accent. I can hear the yuroba in it (sorry if I’m wrong about the tribe) and the American accent that glasses right over it. Your tone is so bold and it reminds me a lot of mine. I love the switching… it just makes me feel like there’s more that makes you you than I be sound of your voice but at the same time it’s your voice that gives you your power…. So inspiring ❤ love you Sofi

  • @khafilataminu8609
    @khafilataminu8609 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s just interesting because I think the younger the generations, the more enlightenment. And it’s part of why people complain about social media being ‘too much’. It was the major channel “Westernization” was introduced to our region.
    It’s why the older generations would always hate. They didn’t have all of these enlightenment. There was no avenue to have these conversations.
    I can’t even imagine seeing my parents talk about sexuality right now. Let’s not even talk about religion. Lol.

  • @kemioseni
    @kemioseni 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Editing on IG love it😂😂😂

  • @mekanwoke6968
    @mekanwoke6968 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Here is my very brief takeaway from this episode, combined with a few thoughts that outline principles I am rooted in and live by.
    Keep an open mind, approach people and have conversations with a desire to understand, regardless of if you agree with them or not. Agreeing or disagreeing is not necessarily always important. I truly believe that prioritizing understanding can and will "take you places" that simply agreeing or disagreeing won't. Beyond that, lead with love and respect. Don't be too quick to judge others, especially harshly, especially by standards that you can't live up to. Simply put, don't be a judgemental. I think that human beings are inherently judgmental, but I also think that we can all be intentional about not passing judgement indiscriminately, at every turn.
    When it is all said and done, we are all imperfect souls who despite feeling lost sometimes, are on this amazing adventure called life. Support others as they navigate life and attempt to discover who they authentically are and the impact they want to have on their friends, family, community, and maybe the world at large.
    Love wins, shame doesn't. That is my ramble for the night!
    Extremely proud of you Ronke, aka Sofi, aka the one and only Odditty ❤

  • @ajenifujafuad
    @ajenifujafuad 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    For me the main thing said in this episode was WETIN CONCERN YOU Like personally I just don’t care. I’m thinking of making money and I should still be thinking about why Jamiu is gay or why grace is a lesbian or why do some people all Jesus God. Oh why muslims can’t keep dogs. E no really concern any is. Just live your life, make money and have fun

  • @cydneystephen2814
    @cydneystephen2814 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hey Sofi. This good topic I will listen. Less typing. Dont want to miss anything 😂. 14 yrs in prison? Wow. Is it not becoming more accepted in Africa? I ask because I watch a lot of Nigerian and South African movies and it’s becoming more prevalent in movies with more gay men and lesbian women; so is it more accepted in the African society? Sofi you have answered the question. You have already had likes towards men or women. You are attracted or like ppl whether man or woman and yes. Confusing to some but some will get it. I admire the beautiful Sofi the influencer/content creator, actress, motivational speaker, fashionista , entrepreneur. Your or anyone’s sexual orientation is their business. Doesn’t take away from your many skills or talents. But yes there are many phobic ppl that may feel differently. I’m older 60 next year , grandmother of 3 and I go with the flow and love and accept family and friends for who they are to me, not who they love. All I need you to do is be yourself, LOUD!!!🤗❤️🙏🏼

  • @queenzwilliams8294
    @queenzwilliams8294 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Well done Sofi! 😊

  • @Commentator234
    @Commentator234 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Mehn ❤✨
    Your a strong woman oddity

  • @SebeneleDlamini-ge9ct
    @SebeneleDlamini-ge9ct 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I believe when read, interpreted and followed correctly religion is at least 99% the same. You then start to realise we serve the same Spiritual Being. But anyways that a topic for another day.

  • @carole_cookie2
    @carole_cookie2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    We need to ask more questions!

  • @pesh179
    @pesh179 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You're a very smart and brilliant woman sofi❤

  • @michaelogah5297
    @michaelogah5297 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    👏 love her

  • @maroonrebel
    @maroonrebel 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Jah & Jahes love siSTAR. I would like to see you talk about the problems of black folks there is: immigration, poverty, and the legacies of slavery and colonialism. I kinda knew that you were not LGBTQAI because you did a pregnancy test and you have a man who keeps your puppy. Thanks for addressing domestic violence problems in black relationships. Blessed love.#1804#Ayiti#ToutMounseMoun#AbolishCPS#AbolishPoverty#DefundFosterCare#ProChoice#RawVeganforLife#HR40NOW#220YearsFREE#FreeAyiti#BwaKale#LandBackNoW

  • @kasia_corner
    @kasia_corner 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I almost fell down on my way to the comments section😂

  • @abiolaolawale1502
    @abiolaolawale1502 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Are there gay practising Muslims in America ? I ask bcos I haven’t seen any. Also because the religion itself with its many do’s and don’ts and some people following the Quran will have issues with it.
    And yes at the end of the day, it really is no ones business what their sexuality is, people shouldn’t get judged for that

  • @EniOlowookere
    @EniOlowookere 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    🎉🎉🎉

  • @lanreibrahim5873
    @lanreibrahim5873 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Allah’s guidance always

  • @favourenu2
    @favourenu2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was literally sitting patiently waiting for this to drop 😩😩😩, I'm loving this podcast 🙂❤️❤️🤭🤭

  • @elizabethrehema4523
    @elizabethrehema4523 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ❤❤❤

  • @donaldisrandom
    @donaldisrandom 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    😇

  • @eddiyonce8159
    @eddiyonce8159 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ♥️♥️♥️

  • @carole_cookie2
    @carole_cookie2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    First one hereeee🎉

  • @favourenu2
    @favourenu2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    1:10 🤭❤️❤️

  • @johneze3505
    @johneze3505 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    so are you GAY?

  • @behlumatheezali
    @behlumatheezali 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    They'd bring up reproduction n end of humanity.