Our autistic son is being BULLIED
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 มิ.ย. 2023
- High functioning autism should have little affect on someone because of it's less noticable, and yet, we are noticing certain affects on how our son is handling society. Bullying is a widespread issue among children and within the school setting, and with seemingly no resolve to it, is something people have to learn to deal with in the best way they can.
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But why keep having kids if they are going to come out Autistic???? ITS A REAL QUESTION AT SOME POINT
You already know their life will be a little harder that Neuro typical people……
Are you serious right now?
Really 🤦 it’s harder because of neurotypicals, life would be easier if they understood neurodivergent people more
Don't the twins and Mikko have different fathers? And Precious didn't know she had autism until recently?
@@robinsonfamily222 yes I agree whole heartedly my brother is special needs and he’s an adult my mom is going through so much now! She’s in her 60s and she fears what will happen after she passes or if something happens to me that’s why I asked it I’m not being mean I’m being logical.
He doesn’t like taking his medicine either so that’s a thing except he has schizophrenia which I think is far worse than autism…..
The twins aren't biologically his. This is a blended family situation. Only Mikko the baby is his child. So your assertion is wrong. They don't keep having babies. Their only child together is Mikko.
My grandson was diagnosed with Autism at 3 and been in therapy since. He was bullied and was pushed around talked about and bullied about his clothes!! Las Vegas is not supportive much in schools but my daughter stayed on the schools and went through the whole process with
the principal and made sure the family of the bully was notified!! Kids with autism have so much love they don’t like angry people!
Bullying in general should stop
Children are not born to hate/bully
It's the parents that feed it to them, sadly
I have to say I'm 56 and I was bullied a lot at school! However, I also had older siblings and trust, which! helped a great deal!
That is a very simplistic idea lol
Fr
It won’t unfortunately cuz lame asses need to prove they are “cool” they don’t like themselves so they gotta be mean to others!! Hurt people hurt people!!
Sweet fam, I'm still bullied at 48 for being highly sensitive. I worked with high functioning autistic grade school kids, and they were some of the most wonderful kids I've known. They just see life through a different keyhole. I think it's egregious that human beings can be so mean. I pray Matthew finds his groove up and away from the cruel kids. Teachers and parents need to educate kids on autistic and special needs children. We need a more understanding world.
Please keep advocating for your children ❤
advocate for those children not to be in a main stream school and to have a school of their own where they will be safe and can learn to cope in Society
Im in Jamaica where there's a stigma about "disabilities". My five year old is autistic and high functioning and I'm facing alot of the same things you are. Thanks
😢
I HATE bullies! It's interesting that those same characteristics are the same for children who are advanced. They get bored quickly in school. I live in Texas and you are exactly right! 🙏🏾
Please stop voting for Abbott
You and your wife are AMAZING PARENTS. Unfortunately, you are right in that some sort of bullying will be experienced by most of us - regardless how inexcusable it is. As a person who was bullied from middle to high school, please make sure your son knows he is loved and that the person bullying him is really insecure with him/herself.
Matthew is fortunate to have so much support from his parents. ❤❤
Texas is a world all of its own. 😢
It really is.
I’ll be praying that the situation changes. God has got your son❤️
I’m in DC and my son is 9. He’s been evaluated twice but never a diagnosed as autism. However he was diagnosed as having delays since age 4. By law in DC he has an IEP and was provided all of the services needed as well as accommodations. His personality is such that he will not fight or argue. He will cry and get upset. My son does not have behavioral issues, but he does have the social issues sometimes. The lack of support that you spoke of is the reason I won’t move although I want to. I am afraid that my son will not receive the support he needs in other places. I agree with you about the bullying. I have conversations with my son all the time about this. I too get him involved in activities in the summer for the same reasons as you. Last year he went away for camp for 2 weeks and it was a great experience. They do need the exposure and they do need to figure out how to adapt and cope now. Great job to you and your wife. I absolutely love this channel.
If you do decide to move, come to Virginia. Springfield specifically. The Fairfax county school district is amazing. My boys have completed grade school but they both had IEP’s. The teachers and counselors are AMAZING! Fairfax county is the next best thing if you can’t afford private school. I was born and raised in DC but moved to Virginia when I had kids because I refused to play Russian Roulette with my kids safety and well being.
That’s why I won’t move, I’m in the suburbs of Chicago. I get everything you can possibly think of. I wanted so bad to move with a warmer climate. I have friends and family in Houston and love it there. But, the school system is horrible.
When I was a teacher, what really helped was putting kids who were bullied next to other kids who were either their friends or at least not part of the bullying. Maybe if there is someone in Matthew’s class who is a good friend to him or who at least is not the type of kid to be participate in the bullying or just let it slide, you could ask the teacher if they can sit together or be partners during activities in class. When the kid who is bullied has a friend the bullies tend to back off. This might help with behavior issues too bc Matthew would have the incentive of working with/sitting next to a friend
So then the partner child becomes the victim for being friends with the child who was bullied. special needs children need to be in safe place with others like them
@@alexandralewis554 In my experience that’s not really what happens.
The schools also need to have awareness & acceptance workshops/presentations for the teachers and students.
Yes. A whole grown teacher tried to bully my daughter this past school year. Unbeknownst to them, it will be a cold day in hell before I sit back and let anyone, especially a grown woman, bully my child. I am still not over it. And yes, I am in Texas and they suck badly.
I hope you handled that! That’s unacceptable.
Please don’t give up on homeschooling as an option if you can do it. If socialization is a worry for you there are so many options for your son to socialize with other children. For example you can do gym at the local schools in your area, or the ymca or a community center.
You will have a lot more freedom and you don’t have to homeschool forever, you can do it for maybe a year or two to give him a break while building up his confidence and social skills.
My fear for your son is that he might shutdown. I was in his situation when I was young and remember how much it damaged my spirit over time.
You and your wife are good parents, I applaud the fact that the both of you are aware and trying. Nobody did anything for me and I had to fend for myself.
Sending love and prayers to you and your family. ❤
I think parents should try their best to homeschool children will learn better with less children in the class they will feel comfortable to express themselves im going to try to homeschool my daughter she’s only 11 months but I’m already a sahm so it won’t take any real change for our family
@@mackinziedavid4556I think no one should push homeschooling. For some it may work, but for many it doesn't. To think it's something everyone should do is ridiculous
@@elliesouza717 obviously not every single individual fits the criteria. If you’re a stay at home parent then it’s definitely doable.
Most parents are not educationally equipped to offer their children what they need there are alternatives they don't have to go to public School homeschooling is not the other option
You can be a stay-at-home parent and a s***** teacher because you don't know enough to prepare your child which is most adults
As an educator I think the adults and the students need education on Kindness and Acceptance for ALL people and that education is lacking greatly!
It’s a systemic issue that needs a lot more focus but it’s usually ignored! As for your son you may be able to help him by teaching him some of the social skills he may be lacking and that may help him develop better relationships with other kids. Sending positive vibes your way! 🙌♥️🙌
Too many kids run around acting crazy with parents that don't get involved that is the problem and involved parent wouldn't be letting this crap slide with their kid was bullying somebody there's too many parents that let their kids run wild and think it's the school's job
So glad that you posted this video! My son is also a high functioning autistic child and I am also dealing with this same issue. Praying for guys!
I understand my son was diagnosed with ADHD even though it's not the same but still. He had a 504 plan IEP all of that, he started to have a lot of behavioral issues and just not paying attention and classroom not doing his work you know. One thing I can say you have to be on the schools cocktail relentlessly because they will definitely let them fall through the cracks and nothing is done about. Hopefully the school has a good staffing coordinator that would be able to help in the school setting for your children. I wish you guys all the best and I hope and pray that your son has a smooth school year because no one should have to deal with everyday and that is exactly why because of bullying why children take matters into their own hands because nothing is done about it on the schools end❤❤ you guys are doing a fantastic job keep up the good work keep fighting for your children
My son was also bullied, especially in middle school. Luckily, the school would reprimand the offending student thanks to a zero tolerance policy on bullying. I was TERRIFIED of sending him to High school, so, my husband and I decided to send him to a private school for kids with autism with the help of a scholarship program offered by my state (NC). He LOVED the school so much and for us, it was a breath of fresh air. He just graduated a couple of weeks ago!👨🏾🎓 He thrived and adjusted so well his teachers are amazed at his progress. If he could go another year he would! I see your son has a fixation with mario as well 😆. I really hope your situation gets better. Don't give up you guys. Hopefully Texas will take better steps in accommodating students with special needs.
The same at my sons school it’s zero tolerance. I was going to move to Texas. And, when I looked into it and talked to my friends they told me No don’t do it. They work in the system.
The teacher could find a pal for him in the playground.
I 'm so sorry for what your child endured . You and your husband did the right thing because public schools are not suited for autistic children.
I literally just did the same in another state. I am praying they have that option for them in TX. I am about to look it up.
Exactly! so why are they trying to send the kid to a school not equipped to handle his special needs and then blame the school for not being equipped to handle his special needs. Maybe they should put the child in a school equipped to handle his needs even if that means uprooting the whole family to another state after all they have 2 special needs children so it might be worth the move to ensure 2 of 3 children get what they need to be functioning adults. I feel sorry for the child in this family who is not autistic seems like so much attention is given to the other 2 just getting thru the day.@@lahetawilliams9051
Breaks my heart and a mom & educator. Thank you for your vulnerability ❤️
Wow! I so hear you and resonate completely with you. My son is 8yrs old and it's sad but we also feel that he will and has always had to deal with getting bullied. We are in Scotland and my boys school is so up on autism and special needs, the neurotypical kids are all taught to embrace the neurodivergent kids and it's awesome, however bullying still happens and I personally feel it begins at home. I'd ask parents of neurotypical kids to please tell your kid about autism and other spectrum disorders, teach them autistic people are cool just different and let's teach the kids from home so when they get into school hopefully they won't think it's OK to bully. I really worry and genuinely have the same worries you have. It's so difficult to teach our autistic kids to be resilient, it breaks our hearts, but we have to make them be resilient and we must keep the faith that society will accept and adapt.
As someone who was bullied for having Alopecia. The only solution was to go to an alternative school. It’s smaller and all kids there had some form of mental illness, disability, etc. I never got bullied in a small school, but I did feel like I was missing out on the school experience. At 26 now, I wish for high school I went to a boarding school, technical school of private school. The public school system in overall has no idea about how to handle bullying. And I just got tired of it and would fight. So happy you guys are talking about this issue because bullying could really affect you and social media only makes it worse.
Public school is stressful and chaotic. You are lucky to have avoided it. Going to public school does not necessarily make you more sociable. Often, you end up socializing with your relatives who go to the same school. You can do that without dealing with the problems in public school. Public schools have many issues, such as school shootings, illnesses, predators, and harmful influences. There is no discipline there. I visited my daughter’s school unannounced and saw a teacher and a student shoving each other in the hallway. The young children were rude and told the teacher to shut up. I scolded them and told them to respect their elders and be quiet. I felt sorry for the teacher. I have friends who teach in public schools and they say the students are unruly and disrespectful. You would be shocked if I told you what they do there. It is appalling.
I been bullied for almost all of my time in school for being physically sick and autistic. I got bullied by the other kids and by the teachers and the people that were supposed to protect me. It caused physical life long damage that will never heal and is a constant reminder everytime I want to run or walk and remember I can't because of the injuries I got. My son is just now going into preschool and he's autistic and has a crap ton of health problems too and I'm beyond terrified he's going to go through the same thing I did. I think we need to demand accountability outta the adults who are supposed to protect them. I also think parents need to teach their kids if they see someone getting bullied to step in and stop it. I know I absolutely won't be mad but instead would be proud if my son sees someone being bullied and stands up and says something or if someone wants to bully him I'd be perfectly fine and proud of him if he stood up and punched his bully in the face.
Parents and adults need to take accountability and shape the future for a better tomorrow like they have always preached. Actions and words have consequences and it's time we as a society make that lesson crystal clear.
Bullying is an issue that’s on a grand level now. Adults bully as well so it’s a never ending cycle. I was bullied and my daughter dealt with it. My daughter wasn’t non verbal or autistic but my 2 year old is the opposite. It’s inevitable yes because as an adult I’ve been bullied. It never stops and in school my teachers didn’t do anything about it and was frustrated by me because I was being bullied. Society sucks and I’m making it a priority to not have my child in the public school system.
Adults have always bullied
Adult bullies are worse than kid bullies. A 57 year old female coworker on the job I used to work at three years ago wanted to fight me. She also threatened to have her own adult daughter come up to the job to beat me up. I was also micromanaged by this coworker and she was not even my supervisor. We were both security guards. I reported her and she ended up getting terminated and could not return to the job. I am also in the military part-time and coworkers there showed animosity towards employees who serve in the military. Another coworker there decided she didn't like me because I am a Libra and that she claimed she does not get along well with Libras even though I've done nothing to her and I barely knew the lady. She was also anti-military and did not speak favorably of me or the military after finding out I am military. She thought I was a retard and mentally unhealthy. She was 42. I was 36. And another female coworker there also micromanaged me and nitpicked at me about my pizza even though whatever I was doing with my food did not concern her. She wanted to beat me up too. She, too, ended up getting terminated and couldn't come back either for taking an unexcused leave without the supervisor's permission. I had to leave that security job. It was with Allied Universal Security and the post we were working at was Hussmann Refrigeration. That work environment was hostile.
Sending you guys lots of love while dealing with this tough situation 💜
I’ve been bullied all my life. It really changed who I think I could’ve been as a person. I don’t really have love for children because of the way I’ve been treated. In general I think most are evil and should have never been born.
Sending Prayers to You and Family.
Bulling and teachers that wont understand will always be there…what makes the difference is the main family and their surroundings. I have the same situation with my two boys, and even therapist don’t got this thing right. EVERY KID ITS DIFFERENT…and the parents need to know and be confident that we are he only ones who know our kids better…follow your heart and your kid…Great video
that's why the term high functioning is severely harmful because it undermines the struggles of people on the spectrum, he might have low support needs but that doesn't mean he doesn't struggle, i'm someone who was diagnosed with "mild" (lvl 1 or low support needs) autism and now medium support needs because my dr didn't consider the fact that i was masking in front of her, it's so hard to diagnose girls, women and afabs because we adapt faster than males so we are always undermined and get wrongly diagnosed with bpd or adhd, but it was "so obvious" with me even though i was masking a lot and i guess i got lucky that i even got a late diagnosis
It's a shame that bullying will never cone to an end its been going on since the 50s an still its a shame even teachers bully kids these days 😢
Very informative. So sorry you're dealing with bullies. I pray the bullying STOPS! Keep awareness going, God has a plan for your family. ❤️
Former special education teacher turned homeschool mom. I have a toddler son with autism and if someone asks me my number 1 and 2 reasons are safety and personalized 1-1 instruction. Many public school teachers are overwhelmed with paperwork, state mandates, behaviors and crowded classes. If you’re concerned about socializing please know that the best way to practice social skills is to go out into the real world (park, zoo, library, grocery store, museums, gyms, field trips).
If you prefer PS though get a special needs advocate or attorney to be present when you have any IEP meeting so the districts knows you mean business when it comes to your child. Many of us in the homeschool community don’t want any state or federal funding as it comes with too many strings attached. Best wishes to your family.
I’m so sorry Mathew had to go through this. I’m an older mom to my last two children that are twins, and micro preemies. They have learning disabilities. They don’t look their age. They act younger than they chronically are. They should be in 11th grade, but they’re in 9th grade. This last school year is when the bullying started. We’re in California in Temecula has a racist school district. My twin daughter is dark skinned and this is a predominantly white area. So the girls wouldn’t play with my daughter, she was called out her name. My twin son was being physically bullied just about everyday. I decided to take them out of traditional school, and home school them for the next two years 9and10. And put them in other activities. This is what I told my husband. He needs to be taught how to defend himself. So even though my son wants to go to school, I’m not going to let him go back right now. I always say that no matter how well you try to raise your kids, you have worry about the parents that don’t raise theirs.
I’m in California as well. My job became a hostile work environment because of race. Couldn’t imagine how kids feel.
I wanted to be homeschooled. The social part of school was the hardest part of school. Learning was the fun and easy part. I believe children with autism do better in a non-traditional educational setting. As adults who weren't diagnosed as children and had their autistic needs ignored, we had no choice but to cope and adjust ourselves to fit into society. That was extremely damaging, but now that we know, we can make the lives of future generations easier. I should have been at least 2 grades ahead of where I was. However, because my aunt and mom had difficulty adjusting to being ahead of their age group academically, I was denied any alternative education opportunities. The solution they thought was best, for a problem they were not informed about, was forcing me to fit in & integrate with others my age in a traditional school setting. Other options were harsh disciplinary institutions. It was at age 10 that I subconsciously began to mask efficiently. The older I got, the more difficult masking became. I was never going to develop as the neurotypical feminine in my demographic. Pretending I have, as life demands more and socialization is more crucial to survival, is exhausting.
Keep pushing and advocating for your family. Ur doing a great job!
I only thought the toddler had autism. Please include the twins in the videos as well.
Know that you are helping. You are not just bringing a greater awareness, you are healing others.
We homeschooled for 9 years up in Boston, MA and we were surround by other kids. We also didn’t get any help via the school system or city, and had to give up a lot for me to homeschool full time. It has made the world of difference for my guy, but he is not Aspie, he is Austism level 1now, 2 when smaller. As for bullies, my son was bullied for a whole year of school, and the next year he became the bully. It is a huge issue with kids on the spectrum. They almost always become bullies when they are bullied. Learned behavior for them. It’s like ABA, if it is reinforced enough, it becomes the norm. You are going to have to do something, and as for not evaluating your child for a year, that just would not fly up north. You have federal rights, learn them and find your local spedpac and Autism advocates and get them fighting for you. I wish you the best. I live in supposedly the best state in the country for helping kids with Autism, and we still dealt with crap, but there are little steps that can be taken to help your kids here and there. And homeschooling can be a very beneficial learning experience for those who learn differently, so don’t completely give up on it as an option. ❤
I needed this! So happy to find other parents of autistic children to relate. I will be returning for sure
Bullying is a societal issue. It happens in any and all environments, and we need to do better!!!!! Keep doing what you’re doing and encouraging your son! It’s unfortunate that we have to have such conversations with our elementary aged kids these days, but it’s the reality of the world we live in. It is also educators responsibility to handle bullying accordingly with ALL parties involved. Too much gets swept under the rug in the school system. Keep teaching your son to advocate for himself and help him build confidence in himself to know he deserves to be treated with respect! Thank you for using your platform to bring attention to this issue!
I work as a teacher in public education in Oklahoma and it's an unfortunate reality with how long it takes to process paperwork for many services within the school system. I've been working there for 10 years and the processing times are getting longer. Our district begins the blame with being understaffed which leads to more caseloads, and results in longer processing times and an inability to appropriately meet the students' needs in a timely manner. Then the blame shifts to funding for those resources. Also, the teacher needs to be made aware and needs to protect that child. When I was made aware, of similar situations by either a parent, the victim or another student I put out the fires (because....not on my watch). I began to become vigilant to prevent more bullying. I take time out of our schedule and we address it. I do have to stop teaching (due to not having a TA) to have private conversations with the students involved. I do impromptu lessons on bullying as it comes across. I speak with parents about it and I document the frequency and details according to the parties involved. It's a lot, but necessary to remind students that bullying is unacceptable.
Resources for what just stop the bullying. The only resource needed is your mouth. Call a meeting with the parents of the bully. or by law in Texas you can get the bully transferred to another school. When the bully open his mouth to berate another child just tell him to be quiet and move on. We shouldn't make this harder than it is. Good for you for stopping it.
U Guys r such Troopers. Thank u for sharing. My Heart goes Out to U Both!
Blessings to you and your beautiful family.
I know that everyone’s lifestyle or life decision maybe different but as for me I am currently homeschooling. I realize that you have to take matters into your hands when it comes to our children. I can’t change the world (as you have said) I can only change my situation. I refuse to adapt. We feed our children the information that others may not agree with what we choose and we don’t try to impose our life on them. You have the right to always go another way. There is always a choice.
You are doing a wonderful job as a parent in helping your child deal with children that are bullies because unfortunately life isn’t fair and when he becomes an adult he will know how to handle people much better
If not already, become familiar with all the laws starting with, IDEA-Individual with Disabilities Act. Be encouraged, and keep building his self esteem. You guys are great parents!
*Individual with Disabilities Education Act.
Praying for your family
I hear your pain. My son has autism. He is now a young adult. We lived in Texas. We experienced bullying. Our reaction was to put him sports. This includes running, gymnastics, and football. After becoming physically fit. The bullying stopped. What I will say that is good about Texas despite the lack of support is that the people of Texas in the community were very supportive. Here are things to also consider. Children of color usually don't get diagnosed until they are older. The interventions of ABA are also available at all ages, even if the individual is high function or not. Consider seeking or researching behavior coaching. This might help with the bullying.
Thanks for sharing. When it comes to our children being bullied, it's heartbreaking for any parent. Consider our society as a whole. Many kids involved in outside school activities, are products of a single parent household. As I'm writing this, you just mentioned home structure. What helped my sons was my random presence and involvement at the B & Club and school. Although I was a single parent, showing the children that my sons has a parent who will be there. I observed. I got silly. I spoke to the kids, letting them see that I'm in support of them too. I did this enough which allowed the kids a chance to individually see my son as their peer. I believe these small actions allowed each child the freedom to choose to get to know my son which created a social bond or ali when a group bullying attempt was starting to form. I hope this makes sense. Keep trying, I like the way you & your wife navigate these delicate moments of child growth.
Greetings bro! Thanks for sharing this. I’m a autism mom to an almost 3rd grader. Do you have any safe groups for him to practice social skills outside of school?
I’ve realized that I have to be more intentional seeking out safe community. It’s hard because folks be busy but we gotta off set the other social experiences our kiddos have . Also I feel what you’re saying abt adapting to society. Whew it’s cringe for me to say that lol but I get your point. Our folks don’t always have the luxury of being their neuro-diverse selves! But I’m glad you are still encouraging him to be okay with his differences! Cheers to you! God bless .
I’m going through the same thing, this is so hard for me I just want to protect my son
This is why I speak life to my students especially ones that’s not always under my umbrella protection. Continue to build them up and teach them how to stand firm in who he is
My prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you for sharing and for your honesty
Very insightful, informative, inspiring message! To add a note, educators aren't taught or trained specifically to work with students that have autism. Thank you for sharing your family and bringing awareness.💯⚜️❤
He needs therapy and an IEP. There is therapy for social skills. They need to do their job as parents and look for resouces. If he had pain on his leg that was impacting his life it would be their responsibility to take him to the doctor, not the teacher. All the teacher can do is point out "It looks like he has pain" like she did point out he had autistic traits. He has lack of social skills that are impacting his life yet they expect the teacher to fix it, who has 30 kids to watch and no therapy degree. THERAPY! Every single autistic child needs therapy. If you wouldn't deny medicine to your child, why would you deny therapy? Therapy is how you learn to manage autism, the same way a pain medicine would manage the pain.
Nice to see another family with more than one child with Autism, as seen in my family dynamic. Love you guys and you are amazing parents!
Your analysis of the situation with Matthew is very clear and very objective in relation to his social life. I see little ones like him in my office. It is especially on the management of the surrounding stress that it is necessary to work. Help him to adapt instead to the behavior of his classmates. The reverse being materially impossible because of the group phenomenon of 20-25 against 1. He must understand that he must use his high potential for himself and not find it among his comrades. Matthew will have time with the emotional maturity acquired because this is where he finds it difficult to be able to talk better with his classmates over time and be less sensitive to the frustrations due to their misunderstanding. I hope I have described some possible points to the transitory relational difficulties that Matthew that I embrace encounters. You are a wonderful family congratulations to the real progress that we see at Mikko
Props for sharing and reaching out.
Therapy !! I loved helping the kiddos navigate societal issues related to autism
Get involved as much as you can with the school. Use your platform to your advantage. Have the school to invite guests to speak to the school in assemblies and classrooms. Ask for resources the school counselors can use to incorporate lessons in classes.
Teach your children self defense. Self preservation is important.
I *finally* got a diagnosis of ASD for my daughter through school (high achieving academics but social-cue issues) andbelieve she has a plot of ADHD challenges, too. I have so much running through my head and heart watching this but cannot get them out... This video hits me so hard, especially talking about your son not really seeing the difference between "joking around" and real bullying (something my daughter struggles with, especially as she gotten older). When she was your son's age, she was pretty oblivious to teasing, which hurt me cuz it was happening but also gave me the smallest relief that she didn't see it... It hurts so much seeing them struggle with tbis, especially as they recognize it more and more the older they get.. This video has really touched me and choked me up hearing about someone else going through the same challenges of trying to support them but also knowing you can't stop it so how do you armor them appropriately while also not making them feel like they have to accept it or meltdown because of it.. I'm very lucky my daughter is really good about advocating for herself but she's also very sensitive, especially when emotionally overwhelmed.. Its so hard trying to help them navigate the nastiness of society towards the "weirdos" (which is not a bad word in our family; we like the "weirdos" ❤)... There just aren't enough words of gratitude for your family's openness to sharing your journey... I'm so grateful I found your channel...All the VERY best to you all...
Keep lil man lifted in prayer. Where I live in Alabama we just got a school for autistic children thank God for our post master seeing need for it with having a child with autism.
I am an educator. I've had Autistic students in the past; I will have them in the future. I know a large number of Autistic students have trouble with reading social ques. I make it a point to try and shield them from other "students" that bother them "just because."
Unfortunately, this problem with "bullying" is a societal issue. Bullying is NOT learned in school. If parents would talk to their kids about having compassion, impathy, and caring for and helping others that are not like them, bullying will STOP! God Bless you...
It's very disturbing to learn there are no programs that teach "socialization. " Mind boggling as many children with learning disabilities/delays would also benefit. This saddens me. Perhaps you guys, being super aware parents, could look into the qualifications required and get the ball rolling yourselves. Have you looked into Boy scouts? Team sports? My prayers I send God's hand leads and open doors for your lovely family ❤
Take care, you are amazing parents.xxxxx
I worked in this field for 35 years. You are a wonderful father and you take the time to look at things from all angles. Sometimes the teachers are right. Sometimes the parents are right. Sometimes you are both in agreement. All too often, none of the parties get the support needed to facilitate the best outcome. I hope and pray that it's better for each generation going forward.
Just found your channel and had to Subscribe, God Bless you and your beautiful family!!!
Hi, High/low functioning labels aren't prefarably used in the community, as everyone with autism has there own struggles, so the terms can be misleading because it oversymplifies and doesn't adress the needs of people with "high functioning" autism
I was thinking that because my sister struggles daily with her autism
Keep him strong minded, teach him how to think in those type of situations…that’s one thing that helped me through bullying in my life
My new favorite TH-cam channel ❤
I’m so sorry to hear this and unfortunately, I’m not surprised. I have three children with autism, two boys that are lower functioning and a daughter who is high functioning with no intellectual disability. My children are older now than your sweet little ones and I feel your pain. My husband and I have moved heaven and earth for our children. It has been tough, even living in the northeast. My daughter was bullied, too. My biggest regret was not home schooling her when she entered high school. I really believe the public schools cannot handle these children and wish there were more private programs that the public schools funded.
Been there. Our son was bullied and got into fights at school. He hid in the house to get out of going to school. We had to get the police involved. I had to change my shift in case he needed more support or had a crisis. Its not easy...
Sorry your son is going to this ppl can be so rude i pray thing will get better for your son. ❤
I'm from the Bronx, and I had absolutely no tolerance for bullying! I told my boys they had to protect one another, no matter what! I also told them that they needed to tell my husband and I everything! We would protect them on the adult level, and they had to handle things on their level! Mind you, this was during a time when children were taking their lives over bullying. One time my son called me at work and said these really big boys wanted to jump him, let's just say I left work and went to that school and reminded them that it was their job to keep my son safe and if something happened to my child under their supervision I would bring channel 23456 etc and bring them up on charges!... Let's just say they begain shadowing my son to his classes and the boys were reprimanded as well! My advice is to do whatever you can to protect your children. That's your job!
We went through this SO BAD with my youngest two...and especially when we moved schools heading into 7th grade. It was awful.
Thank you for this information.
I was told to "just don't show the bully that his deeds affect you". Of course this did not work and only encouraged him. No help from the teachers.
My high functioning students (middle school) have been some of my fave students. It is challenging as a public school teacher with 29 other students in class, but this is where supportive, flexible, understanding parents really help. I know those parent-teacher-admin meetings can be brutal for the parents. 😢 These students have a hard road to walk with their peers but one day it will click for him. Meanwhile dealing with bullies is a life skill your son will have to learn, but I’m confident you two will figure it out.
I completely understand what you’re going thru. I had my son evaluated at 3 years old at school and was told he was fine and functioning normally. Here we are 3 years later and my baby is still struggling with being able to properly express his emotions, showing interest in his friends or anything and trying to help him understand basic math. I believe he has Asperger’s syndrome and so does his new doctor. We have called in for the referral and have yet to here back from any of the facilities for development and ABA THERAPY in TEXAS. Now the new school year is about to start and I have to convince them to evaluate him again so he can properly get all the resources he needs to be great. But sometimes it can be so hard.
Excuse me why would someone tell a family not to have children. thank God for this family. The are doing a wonderful job I have a 6 year old grandson with autism. I love him just the way is. he truly a blessing in my life hes very smart does he have Challenges yes but we as parents are there protectors. there are challenges in life with kids regardless of the situation children are a blessing God will help us through the difficult times. I pray for this family little Mikko blesses me i watch her all the time my grand son was 4 before he started talking. she'll be fine she will persevere. Praying for Matthew next School year. Family you are not alone 🙏
Thank you for sharing ur son's experiences! I really love how you have ur wife have so much love and patience for your children. Many disabled children are unfortunately born into families that aren't as understanding. And also, "aspergers" is an outdated term, the more accurate diagnosis would just be autism :)
This is so hard. We want to be there to help them navigate these things and we can’t be there every time someone hurts them. Heartbreaking.
Hate bullies❤
My BEAUTIFUL NiNE yr young Princess is also AUTISTIC, but she's learning to say her words and she is mildly autistic. She so very smart as well. I am very afraid of someone BULLYING her as she GROWS on😔. I'm VERY PROTECTIVE over her, so if someone does treat her EVIL.......all I can say is.......... LAWD have MERCY on His/Her soul...I don't play that mess when it comes ta her.💯🙏💯
God Bless You All. We have to advocate for and protect our children. Keep the lines of communication open with Mat. He is a gift from God and he is wonderfully made. Teach him to embrace his uniqueness...Im a Special Education Teacher and my heart goes out to you. Your school system is FAILING to provide services for a child who may or may NOT have Autism.....if your son's teacher (who is not doing her job) recognized his Autism symptoms ....👀👀she should have also let the school system know and followed up with the Principal and Special Services Director to make sure your son was properly tested and diagnosed by the schools psychometrics.
With my kids, i told them to ignore it or tell the teachers. My daughter, Lailah, is also high functioning, and i told her to walk away and ignore them. It worked in a way, she still got bullied, but it wasn't everyday like how it was before. Now she doesn't get bullied at ALL anymore. Just by her ignoring the kids and telling on them worked! I hope this helps!
I'm so sorry that your state and school district are not providing the necessary support that your son needs and is entitled to! I'm here in Cali so the laws are different I'm sure. I have worked in special education over the last 5 years and can tell you first hand that accommodations for our special needs kiddos are taken VERY seriously. By law students with IEPS need to be provided appropriate accommodations to better support their success in all their classes by all their teachers. I would argue, that you do have a lot of power as a parent. At least from what I have noticed the parents who stay involved in their child's education and push for their needs do get heard. Don't give up, someone will hear you. The district I work at has autism inclusion schools, where students who are autistic are included in general education classes but they also have a teacher specialized in providing a supprtive program for them, on top of that there are also teacher assistants specifically for special education and more teachers/staff who provide Resource, Speech, Counseling and Psychological support. This is all provided by public education. Your experience makes me realize not everyone has this support and it saddens me. These programs change the school climate so much so that the general education students extend that loving support to their fellow peers. Keep reminding yourself and your son you are worthy of taking up space in every room you walk into.
You are great parents!
YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!!! ABUNDANT BLESSINGS ALWAYS EVERYONE, ABUNDANT BLESSINGS ALWAYS!!! AMEN!!!
The best thing I did for my son who has sensory issues and on the spectrum we put him in private school. He is on the top of his class. Thriving. I believe if he was in public school. He would be lost. I also put in alot of work. Nutrition rules limit screen time. Lots of reading. My son is very "different" but as soon as my son practices he's just as good or better then " normal" kids. My son has 12 kids in his class they are all best friends. I'm so thankful.
Long post🙃 Hey Fam! First off I want to say that I love your videos. This is a very large and sensitive topic, so I applaud you for sharing your experience. As a black mom of an “Ausome”, currently nonverbal, 5yr black boy entering kindergarten I have major concerns about how other kids will treat him. If I could chime-in, one thing I’m doing is learning from Autistic adults. Many have shared that Masking can lead to Autistic Burn- Out, depression, high risk behaviors, and ultimately shorter life spans. With that said, a similar but distinctly different survival tool for black people and other minority group is Cross Cultural Competency. We have to understand how mainstream society works and implement tools and strategies whereas we can navigate in spaces that are not designed for us; while not internalizing messages of inferiority, toxic shame, or hate. Historically black folks (and other minorities) done this while also creating safe places of refuge where we could share culture, let down our guard, relax with like minded individuals (barber shops, salons, churches, after school programs, family gatherings etch….) . Temple Grandin discuss finding her tribe and sense of belonging in shared interest of animals. Her school offered a program for farm animal. There she found her tribe of peers. I believe this will help make the difference for our kids. Y’all are doing an awesome job. Best wishes and good vibes!
Thank you for posting. Bullying is something we all deal with special needs or quote "normal". I too have a 6 year old which maybe on the spectrum. Must of the bullying has come from the school. I went directly to the school board about poor actions taken by the school teacher and vice principal. Those actions did keep the wolves at bay, but there is always going to be something Im sure in the future. You are doing a very good job and the best you can. You are on the right track. There is nothing more you can do beside getting a formal diagnosis from your child's pediatrician and getting your child ABA therapy. My school does offer ABA therapy for children with behavioral issues but this summer Im looking for a therapist to cover. Your school system may not offer ABA but your child can get these services directly. If all else fails, consider moving to a school district that support children with Autism. I also have a 30 year son who is doing well for himself. No learning disabilities or special needs. I say that to say parenting is a big question mark. Did I do the right thing? Could I have done something more? As long as your trying your getting it right and the good Lord will put you on the correct path for your family. You've answered a lot of the questions in your post. Just keep fighting and advocating for your son. Your child will be the best version of himself.
It's really hard people act like they take the time to try to understand kids with disability I have a child with ADHD and she has had to deal with alot I personally uñderstand your frustration and it's sad for these children hang in there it will get better it has for my daughter
I love your families approach and I appreciate you sharing too. I sent you some info. You all may already have but it might help.
I’m sorry this is happening to Matthew. He is such a handsome boy. Please consider Montessori homeschooling. I have been doing this with my son since Covid and he is thriving. Also, please consider a casual online group for him where he can meet other friends from the comfort of his home and have the freedom to be himself in a supportive environment ❤️ Lots of love to your family 💕💕👏
Bullying on a hold should be stopped, people need to allow others to be who they are and be comfortable about it 💜💯
Whew chile...this is a tough topic. I am a teacher & see kids engage in bullying behavior all the time. A lot of it occurs on social media. I see it with both neurotypical & neurodivergent kids. I suggest parents do the following to advocate for their child. It can be overwhelming for parents. But in many circumstances of life, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil." It's a lot, so get ready. 😓
1) Educate yourself on your school district's disciplinary code of conduct. 2) See if your school district &/or state has a Harrassment, Intimidation, & Bullying policy/law in place. If yes, educate yourself on it. 3) Document EVERYTHING in writing. EMAIL your child's teacher, assistant principal, principal, etc. EVERY SINGLE TIME bullying occurs. You may need to meet with school personnel (in person or via Zoom) multiple times to achieve a resolution. BE PERSISTENT. 4) If the bullying is happening in a particular class, request/insist that your child be moved to a different class. Be prepared for resistance from school administration, as they are often hesitant to make these types of changes. 5) If no resolution occurs at the school level, escalate it to the district level. That may require you to seek out your district's Director of Student Services, Director of Special Education, Assistant Superintendent, Superintendent, etc. Again, document in writing via email. 6) If no resolution occurs with district administration, go to your district's monthly Board of Education meeting. Board meetings typically have a Public Comments segment when people can speak on any issue. If you're comfortable, consider having your child speak, as that may finally compel them to take action. You may need to attend & speak at multiple Board meetings to achieve a resolution. 7) If all else fails, obtain a professional student/special education advocate to navigate this vast, time consuming, & overwhelming process on your behalf. Be prepared for sticker shock when they tell you the cost of their services. But if you're planning to sue the district, some advocates will represent you on contingency.
It's a shame that parents sometimes have to go through this to get a resolution for their child. But it's the reality of navigating the bureaucracy of public education.
When I was teacher 35 years ago I was aware of bullies and flipped the script on them.
What do call a nerd 15 years from now? BOSS!
You will probably be the janitor cleaning his office.
I had eyes in the back of my head and could see someone getting punched at the back of the line.
The bully was isolated and privileges taken away for all to see
If you were a bully in my class life was very difficult for you.
I always built up the bullied child.
Does your son know the names of the children that are bullying him? If so why don't you guys have a meeting at the school with the other parents because the parents may not be aware of what's going on at the school that way it will be non biased opinions on the situation
We tried to speak with the parents of the boy who was bullying mine,but the school refused to facilitate a conversation with them and us. It is against the school policy.
I'm sorry . I am also high functioning autistic . It REALLY can impact one's life. I wish my parents could've known it and helped me like you do with yours. I didn't know until I was grown. I feel like most ppl don't understand me. Now I'm raising my step daughter who is autistic high functioning but not as high functional on the spectrum as I am. The over stimulation is really hard for us and others not understanding our blunt way of speaking. The schools aren't doing things right for her. And bullying is making it harder! God bless you for being parents who do all you can to understand, protect and educate yourself for your children. We have dealt with the same thing going on with our daughter and the teachers/school. It's tough.