Overheard My BF say he CHOSE the WRONG Girl | Comfort Level Podcast
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
- 0:00 Brandon is Transition King!
2:25 AITA For Telling My Friend That Her Baby's Name is Ridiculous
3:52 Response/Retweet Adams
5:54 Aunt Kathie BEEF
8:10 AITA For Wanting to Move in My Parents and Send In-Laws to Nursing Home?
11:11 Response
20:32 Update
22:27 Top Comment
24:24 Transition King is BACK!
25:51 I Heard My BF Say He Chose The WRONG GIRL
28:13 Response
35:07 Top Comment
37:27 Cousins' Intermission / "That's My Guild"
Find Us Here
Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=802099...
Email For Business Purposes | ComfortLevelBiz@gmail.com
Instagram | / comfortlevelpodcast
TikTok | vm.tiktok.com/ZTdm5aQta/
Reddit | / comfortlevelpod
Highlight Channel | / channel
Facebook | / comfort-level-10021694...
![หมานแต่ผัวเขา - แสตมป์ โตเกียวมิวสิค [ OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/m0g1TSBJPgo/mqdefault.jpg)
Honestly my grandmother has dementia and I’m telling you that you can literally end up in a mental hospital caring for persons who have dementia or Alzheimers because the mental strain on the care giver is seriously tough so I wouldn’t care for anyone who’s going through that I would either hire a live in nurse or find a really nice nursing home
Right? They don’t just need a place to live they need competent full time medical care. That is totally different from parents that are just older and retired.
I take care of my grandma with Alzheimer’s. It’s rough, and she’s not even that bad yet. It’s not fair to force anyone to take that on.
my grandmother didnt have dementia BUT she did have brain cancer and it does similar shit. and seeing my grandmother in that state was heart wrenching especially cause before it got bad our last conversation was an arguement I know i could i never take care of someone with stuff like that and my heart goes out to the caretakers who do
i didnt really get that same vibe from the update, if I married someone who expected me to put their parents who had previously disrespected me above my own well being and my parents, idk, that would make me bothered too. All I got from it was I own this house, I let you live here rent free because I love you, my parents need help because they're struggling financially and I'm their only living child, I have the means to help them, and you want me to not, and just let them do whatever just so I can cater to your parents that don't even respect me and have insulted me? and it wasn't even a discussion, he just had that expectation of her. she had tried to choose the best option and compromise for his parents who would require professional and constant care that she couldn't and shouldn't be expected to provide and he refused it, so its only natural that she would help out her parents and let him deal with his problems alone. its true that he cant afford it and now because of his unrealistic expectations and demands, they're all gonna be worse off for it, tbh i don't see why we are expected to always be caring even to people who don't deserve it, that's why people enjoy the idea of karma, that people get whats coming to them, and that's what i had gotten from this, more of a i tried to help and he was just too unreasonable and because of this now instead of compromising and helping everyone, now they gotta struggle on their own. its no longer her business or her problem, yes, its sad that its happening but she doesn't owe them anything, you can just feel sympathy as though you would with any person in that situation.
In-law story: it’s not “basically” her house, it IS her house. She owned it before the marriage. I don’t think she was heartless for mentioning it, I think she was feeling defensive because her controlling, manipulative husband was trying to guilt her into caring for people who treated her badly and needed professional care!
Dude a marriage is a partnership. She clearly didn't see him as a partner.
Relationships and marriage are never truly equal most of the time. The edits made it very clear she was entirely self involved and the fact she saw him leaving as a relief just cements the fact imo
I agree. Caring for dementia/bad mobility patients is HARD so I don’t blame her. The level of care they would need likely wouldnt be met by OP as she has no experience with it. If her parents move in, then they CAN afford to get his parents a coherent level of care. OP is not the AH. But she does need to chill about her defensiveness… the convo skills aren’t here but the logic is
@@newbooksmell4163do you know what a pre-nup is? And dumping burdens on your partner is not how a partnership works.
Also caring for someone with dementia is no easy task, it is not fair to put this on her since she is the one who will be home with them
@@newbooksmell4163Marriage is a partnership. Did you miss where the hours he works meant she was going to be doing the care?
1. It can't be 50/50 if he doesn't contribute to the house and she would be doing the majority of the work. Dementia is incredibly hard to support.
2. Her parents would contribute to HIS parents getting better care.
3. Guilting someone into being a caretaker, makes for abusive or burned out caretakers.
The husband sounds terrible in that if he had compromised everyone could have been taken care of, not just his parents. The wife was cold.
The comment I was looking for! Why nobody is talking about the aggressiveness that people with dementia have? At some stage of dementia they could be just impossible to live with, cuz they have no logical reasoning, they can suddenly hurt themselves or the caretaker, they can just randomly eat whatever thing they see (once I saw a hospitalized woman with dementia who ate a broken glass!!!!!)
Like the reasoning is not just “your parents or my parents” or “whose parents we love more”?
There is an obvious case of a person in need of a good 24/7 PROFESSIONAL care.
I couldn't agree with this more. I hate how they're just glossing over caretaking for someone with DEMENTIA. Do they know what that entails? That like causually saying "What do you mean you can't go to space? It's just 62 miles up. Other people do it, just go."
@@elizavetak3654exactly! I saw a comment of someone saying “this is why you shouldn’t marry down”
Like it’s not even completely about financial status, it’s about the husband’s inability to put aside his emotions to make the most beneficial and logical situation.
It’s also just him being selfish as fuck. Who is he to say that because she’s his wife, she should take care of his parents, free of charge in HER own house he barely contributed too
I think she mentioned the financial responsibility of the home being on her to say that he is already not contributing to the home and that his parents will also probably be her financial and physical burden as well.
100%! She even said they literally can’t afford for his parents to live there. It blows my mind a grown ass man cant put aside his feelings and think logically for two seconds and realize they can’t afford it, it’s disgusting for him to assume she’d take care of them full time, and that it’s the best financial decision to put his parents in a home, take her parents in and use their contribution to pay
The boyfriend is giving “I’ll deal with a permanent level of discomfort in my life so I never have to actually take accountability for being mediocre and I can blame you instead”😒
As someone who recently had to help care for her grandma, and held her hand as she passed: dementia patients are NOT easy to care for, and it’s a huge douche move to force someone into it. They don’t just sit there like most would think-that’s usually towards the end, and by then you have bigger things to worry about. If it’s early on/if they’ve retained decent mobility, then it’s like taking care of a toddler in their terrible 2’s-except they have the size and strength of an adult. Imagine that, someone who wants to do things, touch things, drive, use the stove, use a gun because they have memories of doing so and believe they still can. Not only are they exhausting physically, but they also tend to get aggressive-either because they’re having an episode and don’t remember what’s happening/where they are, OR because you’re trying to stop them from doing something dangerous (like walking out the front door). My grandma attacked one of my aunts with a full 2L of soda before falling over. And then there’s the dark moments, after you’ve been fulling caring for an adult who’s spent part of the day fighting you like a child, they might have cussed you out even, maybe swung. You might have been left with little to no help. After awhile, you get moments where you’re so tired, *so* tired, you’ve already cried and it’s stopped helping, and any hope of praying feels hopeless. It’s those little moments where terrible thoughts can creep in and make you feel horrible. My mom and I have confided in each other when we’ve felt too through after granny forgot who we were and scratched me or gave me an ugly look I’ve never seen from her. She’s told me at times she hoped that my granny would’ve just slipped off in the night. It always made her feel terrible, but it also made her feel terrible watching her get sicker and sicker, until you could see her entire skull through her skin.
Forcing people into these roles or leaving them with absolutely no resources is partly how elder abuse happens. If he cares for his parents he would want them to be in an environment they would get 24 hour sufficient care.
Same, I couldn't believe the husband didn't see how hard that would be. Especially since his father is also unable to take care of his wife with her, let alone himself.
Nothing is worse than being with someone who doesn't like or love you.
The story about the in laws is why i feel you shouldn’t marry down … you have to marry an equal so stuff like this doesn’t happen! & she did say the in laws treated her badly …. You can’t treat people bad and then need their help! she’s NTA!!!
Exactly! Also, both of OP's in laws have moderate to severe medical needs that OP and husband are more than likely not trained to handle. OP even mentioned that they did not have time to care for the in laws. OP's plan was a very well thought out one to make sure everyone was safe and in a place they could afford.
Agree! Why you (the podcasters) act like she's the AH???
For this story I think not the ass hole. I wouldn't want parents to move in that I'd have to take care of especially with dementia. It goes down hill really quickly and they can get agressive
But at the same time you shouldn’t just not date/marry someone because they’re not as financially stable. If you love someone, you love them, money isn’t going to change that
this situation isn’t about marrying down, it’s the inability to compromise and put aside their personal feelings to make the most beneficial financial decision.
it just feels unfair and shallow to say to someone not to marry a person cause of their financial status. If two people really love each other, they will learn to make it work and not let money control their relationship
Ew. “Marry down” I don’t love that description at all.
On story two that the two men are seemingly completely neglecting that it seems like she would near be 100% in charge of taking care of the in-laws, and the household, and her job, and MAYBE herself if she can swing it(?) is a huge blind spot.
That shit takes a toll on your soul. It's not a negligible part of it.
Even with the updates, I can see how you'd get tired of being the partner that contributes more, but gets no respect and/or gets bullied into things like your opinion doesn't matter. Like you're willing to share with this person and they treat you not even as an equal and expect you to do all the work? Isn't there movies, shows, ect about men dumping their wives who ask for too much and that don't respect what they bring to the table, and the men get cheered?
Nah, at worst it's everyone sucks if you can sympathize with her, but imo it's NTA
If he wants someone else, LET HIM GO
I don't understand what the husband was thinking. He should have agreed with his wife to find the best nursing home possible for his parents in the first place knowing he didnt make enough to support them on his own if this argument was going to end in divorce. He doesn't have the time to care for them either on his own. What was the point if his parents were going to end up in a nursing home regardless. I don't understand.
There are layers to that in law moving in question. Taking care of his folks would be very difficult with their conditions. If he expects his wife to do it alone, it will be absolutely taxing and she may not be equipped to deal with their conditions. Honestly, using her parents money to help put them in a care facility is a logical plan. HOWEVER, she really doesn’t sound like views her husband as an equal in their relationship. maybe there are more things going on there and in law situation is the breaking point.
Oh boy that update confirmed it. 👀 agree that she’s kicking the dead horse 💀
The woman overhearing her boyfriend saying he doesn’t love her: GIRL RUN!!! 🏃♀️
I don’t know, would you be understanding for people that allegedly treated you like shit. 💀 especially if her parents one of those people that think rich people have no reason to complain etc. is it harsh? Yes. But if you think about it why should she be remorseful of people who most likely treated her shitty before their issues and definitely after. There could be a situation where his parents was verbally and emotionally abusive and he never stood up for her or tried to and simple just stopped caring. It sounds like the marriage was sour already and she just ended up so donex
@@randomransoms5889 Oh definitely, there was already tension in that relationship probably with resentment from him not standing up for her with his folks, her feeling he doesn't contribute to to their expenses, etc. We only have her side of course but you can tell this was the last straw in her dealing with this relationship that probably ended long ago.
We missed it, but another r/ pointed it out. The one who choose the wrong girl met when he was in college and she was 15 if you read between the lines.
I love my parents, they've done a lot for me but I'd definitely put them in a home if dementia or full-time care were involved. I would also NEVER expect my partner to be their primary caretaker if I could afford for them to move in. If you've never dealt with memory care you have no clue how physically & emotionally exhausting it is. It can also be physically strenuous & even dangerous as sometimes people with dementia get very aggressive.
It is difficult for people who do it for a living, then go home and decompress. It is much much more difficult for a loved one to do it, none the less 24/7. When it is a loved one, those with dementia are not just harder on their family but say and do things that hit much more personally unlike a paid care taker.
The in-law story:
Y’all dementia is SO hard. And depending on the progression of the disease she will need round the clock care, and it can lead to behaviors.
What gets me is the woman who wanted to stay with the losser who didn't like her. This bum was trying to go after their mutual friend and I'm willing to bet, the mutual friend doesn't like him like that. Probably has NEVER liked him like that and yet, he's still hung up on her.
No she didn't do anything wrong he thought he could pawn off his parents on her so he could save money now he and his parents are worest off.then they where. I hate when people just tink that when people turn old all the bad things they did just go away.
That dude fucked around, found out, and died on a hill. He got his parents in a mess, the op juat saw the writing on the walls and got the fuck out.
That's coming from the spouse of a partner who had a family member with dementia that we took care of for 5 years. My partner didn't even bring it up that we care for her, I did. It was a brutal five years, my wife had to quit her job (she worked in a dementia unit so was actually quailfied) so there would always be someone there for her, we spent every bit of our savings, i had to bathe her for the last two years because towards the end she started to see me as either her friend or sister so was more cooperative with me, and we both had to do far more than that as she regressed. I would do it again for that woman in a heartbeat becaude she was a saint. On the other end, if it had been my spouses mother... hell no. (My spouse would honestly be shouting hell no louder than me) If my spouse had tried to guilt me, hell no. He has two parents that would need full time care and didn't offer any solution other then "idk, you do it because you're my wife." That dude just got a giant reality check, and it seems like his parents did too. You can't hand over shit and expect gold to be handed back. She offered a logical solution, his reponse just showed her what the rest of her life was going to look like.
I will say my grandmother was a nurse and she still couldn't take care of my grandfather when he had dementia. She tried, but it is a tough disease. If OPs inlaws are okay now they wont be okay soon. It also sounds like that was a lot more going on in the relationship than we really see. My parents aren't great and i would never want to subject my spouse to them on a long term especially if my spouse vocalized they weren't okay with it.
also, especially since they can’t afford it, she’d be taking care of them full time, and that it’s just not the most beneficial financial decision
The story about the woman who didn't want to look after her in laws and is going to have to pay for hers husband's lawyer. I think you misunderstood her update. If her parents were rich then they wouldn't have to move in with her, she said in her original post that her parents had to move i with her because they couldn't afford to stay in their house. It sounds like her husband was a deadbeat and she has had to pay for everything including his divorce lawyer. 😢 it is not that her parents are rich, but her husband wasn't paying his own way and she had enough of it.
For the "overheard" story, that's a relationship where it'll be painful as fuck to get over but after a year she'll suddenly realize all the shit he's been doing. Coming from expierence, you get really blinded by love and unfortunately let the people you love walk all over you. If he has felt this way for most of their relationship, I'm Doubtful that he was a good boyfriend to her
Made this comment before the comments were read replying to OP. I actually totally agree with the 2nd comment- the main thing isn't hurting them the most but rather someone in love is STUPID. I got talked back into being in a relationship after cheating because I was so fucking broken about it. Basically, dont give them the opportunity to convince you to stay
You guys are too young. It's not about the money. I am 60 if my husband's parents had survived I would in his mind been expected to care for them or let him be unemployed to take care of them. I am not rich and spent too many years taking on his unemployed times or his unemployed friends, telling me that I was not generous enough. Getting cancer 9 years ago opened my eyes! I told him (after I survived) that if he wanted to stay he needed a job and to pay his fare share! Expecting your significant other to bare the burden is crap and I wish I had dumped him in my 30's when that behavior started instead of losing myself in his verbal abuse for years. Now to poor to divorce and he is finally contributing!
14:30 Imo NTA🤣 Lowkey husband seems manipulative and she obviously had him sign the prenup bc she bought that house/had it paid off before she met him. The wife also tried to compromised on both ends and he still wasn’t hearing his wife out PERIOD.
23:21 UPDATES WENT WILD. yo there’s WAY more to this marriage and i think everyone sucks in this situation… she went all the way in
Anyone who named their child Khaleesi or Renesme. 😂 and all the people who throw a ton of extra vowels in for no reason I’ll give a side-eye. It’s just giving a lifetime gift of annoyance to their children. They’re basically the fairy godmother from Ella Enchanted. Good intentions, but not helpful.
Saying that the woman's home that she iwned before her relationship should equally belong to her husband even with a prenup is actually really gross. How long have women been legally allowed to have their own properties and bank accounts. That is HER house, not marital property. In a court of law even in event of divorce, that is HER house.
I feel like sometimes you guys dont have enough life experience with crazy narcissists for some of these stories. The in laws were prob truly awful to her and the fact that hes trying to saddle her with care shes not qualified for is telling. If she let it continue it would have turned abusive. The guy who dated for 8 years and is still saying the other girl is better because she is prettier is prob going to gas light her and get her to stay and hurt her further. Just getting her stuff and telling him something simple is prob best. She still wants to stay with him!!!!
If glasses are keeping you from getting a date, the people you're dating need a better imagination.
Some people gotta learn unique doesn’t always mean good
I am so glad I found y’all’s episodes
hashtag gon search up "name meaning hashtag" and get the definition of hashtag.
the update is wild. prior to the update, I didn’t think OP was the ahole because taking care of people with dementia is extremely hard and they deserved to be taken care of properly… after the update, jfc 😭
Some years ago when my children were young, my husband our children and myself had to live in our van for a week because our roof collapsed and we were living paycheck to paycheck, so we had to wait till payday to get accommodations. My mother, sister, and brother lived 5 hours away, while his mother lived 20 minutes away. She wouldn’t let us stay with her for a week because her and her husband decided that neither her children nor his children could ever live with them. I understood that, but letting your grandchildren be homeless because you don’t want to take care of small children meant to me, whenever her time comes -and it’s going to come, she’s overweight at 66 and has a whole host of health issues, not to mention my brother in law (her son) was paralyzed from the neck down in an accident and needs 24 /7 care and she is a nurse- she don’t want my help. And she’s not getting it. And I don’t care where she ends up. We can’t keep pretending that the people that do us wrong deserve our pity when they end up in need. She’s hurt and angry that she sacrificed a chunk of her life for a man that insists on making it harder in multiple ways.
I’m glad she left him! He was STILL trying to guilt her into moving his parents into her house and being their primary caretaker. She was basically offering to pay for professional care and he was mad she wouldn’t do it herself.
@@WeAreAllRidiculous and you know who's suffering most? His parents. What an ass!
Nothing at all is wrong with the update. Redditors be crazy sometimes but they clearly saved this woman's life while yall were ready to gaslight her into putting any effort into people who don't care about her. Trying to make her seem like she's what? Financially abusive?
As someone who works in a nursing home the husband’s parents need to be in a home. If they have dementia it doesn’t get better and the physical therapy and services that homes provide for residents is better than them being at home. Also if she’s the one expected to take care of them and their not nice or thankful she shouldn’t have to. Also he had the opportunity to put his parents in a nicer home when they had both incomes plus her parents helping. She’s definitely not the villain for looking after her own interests and family. it’s not her fault his family isn’t in a place to take care of their own parents and expected her to do so.
Honestly if she'd gone through with letting the in laws move in, she'd just have to take care of and deal with people she didn't like at all, and that just sounds miserable... I don't think an induvidualist standpoint is always the best in life. You do have to make sacrifices for the people you love, but sometimes boundaries are boundaries and crossing them is going to make it worse for everyone
Not the Sam glasses slander 😭😂 lasik is life changing tho I’ve never looked back!
The next cousin intermission I need to know y’alls opinion on Helen Keller. There’s NO WAY in hell she flew a plane-
As a person that works on sovial work for the elderly the second story is very common, and this is how people become homeless in our country.
I did a name combo generator cause I was messing around and the name Euris came up, it was a combo of something and Iris
I think Euris is a much more normal name than hashtag and this is from a name generator
I’m so blown away by story 1. He contributes nothing financially to the home. She clearly also works to be able to afford what he’s not paying. Yet he expects her to care for his parents for him. Where is all his money going considering he refuses to hire a caregiver or put his parents in a home?
As a professional caregiver (also in nursing school) it makes me giggle when people say “caretaker”
A caretaker is someone who curates museums, dead people (think mortuary), essentially non-living beings and things would be a caretaker.
Caregiver is used for those who give care to the living ❤
Thank you for this information ❤ I had no clue!
2nd story, she should have intro'ed it "AITA for not wanting to be the primary caretaker of my husband's dementia'ed mom" because thats the only reason she needed to get ppl on her side
5:47 retweet would turn hashtag into a #hashtag.
The Harmonizing 🥲
I'm here for the Cousin Intermission 😅😅 #thatsmycousin
In laws-- his parents need around the clock medical care. They need a qualified facility. It's not even "do I want to?" at that point. The best, most loving thing for them is to go to a qualified facility
The first story reminds me of the one where OP's friend named their child after the first poop a baby makes, aka Meconium
You are handsome either way Sam! If those fool girls don't like the real you, they're not for you!
He abscess with this crush even tho if she doesn't like him and he has to move on get a new girl that he an love, with this one she needs to end the relationship or he gonna up cheating on her, break up with him let him know why and move on
28:13 oh honey.... I am also triggered, Brandon. I'm so sad for her
I think that she's an asshole for using the word "burden", but in general the desire makes sense. Being a caregiver is so hard it makes so much sense to just let people who know how to professionally deal with that deal with it.
She was being honest tho they would be a burden financially and mentally and physically due to her having to do all the care for 2 adults. That was just facts. And since her EX didn’t have money to cover the care nor expected to help with it….his parents would be absolutely a burden…..🤷🏾♀️
The in laws one: would it be possible to have both sets move in and the ones that are healthier can help out? I’m unfortunately filled with Catholic guilt and I’m a recovering people pleaser so my idea is always to compromise and find a way to make everyone happy.
Hashtag or pound sign: #
😂😂😂
In law story, she said she owned the house before the marriage and they have a prenup, so it's not different then if the husband owned a business before they got married and wanted to keep solo ownership after. Especially if the wife did not participate in supporting the business during the marriage.
The woman in the 3rd story is better than me. That cake would have been in his face.
Did that lady even like her husband? I get that the requests to take on his parents was unreasonable and she is NTA for putting her foot down. But the way she talked about him and his family? They is no way this is the real reason they are falling apart.
She probably had other issues but you can look past them while together. With him pushing for her to basically suffer under their hate, medical needs, and sacrifice of her personal time. That probably was the straw that broke the camels back.
I think we also have to take into account. This is her explaining the situation while she's angry about what's going on. So if we see her as being Harsh, it's probably because she's mad at him for how he tried to manipulate her.
She probably did at one point,
She’s probably just sharing the ending of her marriage, that make us think why did she marry him. He probably put her through a lot, and the in laws like shit on top of that, so she was just probably done.
For the 1st story I'm conflicted, because since my fathers health has always been poor I starting saving at a young age , I'm 23 now and can buy a house to take care of my now widowed Mom. If I got married I would have appreciation for his parents , but I wouldn't feel that they were entitled to a space I had dedicated to mom for so many years and worked hard to have. On the other hand though his parents need far more help , and finding a nursing home that treats their patients humanely at least in my area is hard. I think she has the right to point out the house is her asset , but this is a conversation they probably should have had before they got married so ETA
Wrote this before the edit : YTA
1st story…everyone thought the name was ridiculous. They were just split on whether or not OP should’ve said so to her friend🤷🏾♀️
#thatsmy cousin 👏🏽
Sam you look so cute in your glasses. Your aunt is trippin!!
Yeah, his glasses really suit him!
But bad things happen that’s why you set things aside me having health insurance isn’t me hoping I get cancer lol
7:20 see this is why I have trust issues lol😅 the editing
I’m just kidding don’t take me seriously I can imagine editing is hard.
Story 2 her house her rules
I agree with Sam as far as money and assets. Even if you come into a marriage with assets it becomes both of yours. I feel like if it was a man saying "this was mine before we got married" people would be more sympathetic to her than they are being to him. If you want things separate even if you get married write up a prenup. I think when your parents have that kind of disease, it's too much work to care for someone around the clock and I would want to have my parents get qualified care imo
She was saying that to state that not only would the financial burden be on her but so would the caregiving
Sam 🤦♀️ you can use a woman's tampons when you have a period. 🤦♀️
#thatsmy cousins!
How do I submit a story?
If a couple can't handle a serious discussion like sorting out a prenup then the couple isn't ready to be married.
And honestly I think the OP is most and very correct to be concerned that all the care taking will fall on them. And since it sounds like they need an actual caretaker that's where a professional environment like a home is way more appropriate.
Although I wouldn't necessarily have the OP's parents move in either but def concerns over caretaking are very warranted.
That update!! But yeah no OP made the right choice. If the inlaws were shitty and then OP would have been primary caretaker?? Absolutely not!! Also I wonder how bad they must have treated OP for them to be happy that they are gonna go to a shitty home. Like they must have been vile to OP. And this was probably just the final straw in a long line of stuff that caused that marriage to crumble.
That’s my 😂
#thatsmyyyy 🤪
Dammit how tf does 6 eyes come up In convo and gojo doesn’t get mentioned?!
(Before watch) The parents moving in. Absolutely NTAH it’s extremely stressful to deal with those kinds of medical issues. He’s not being realistic at all. He should live with them for a month to see what it would actually look like.
Story 1 are they seriously glossing over all the facts. She owns the house , earns money, would be expected to be the sole caretaker of two people who havent treated her the best that have also been declared as unfit to care from themselves. He uses manipulation as a way to get what he wants. He views her and her family as less important than his family. Someone needs to hold up the red flags for them.
The burden in-laws. Treated her "badly". She is right to refuse them staying in her home. They treated her like shite.
Ayeeee #thatsmine
that’s my
for the in laws story it was always about the money for the wife. she keeps bringing up finances!!
All she said was, it would be financial helpful to have her parents with them, so they could use that money for his parents care. She is willing to pay for her ex husband atorney! 😂
I like you better with glasses 100%.
Hashtag that’s my
#Thats my
I find it real sad that people end up in relationships where they just don't have the same values or abilities to work things out mutually. With the nursing home story I'm thinking about how quick they both were to pit themselves against eachother~ just immediately selfish, as if their needs were not being met the whole time... it sounds like they hadnt been honest with eachother for a while (i.e. she feels mistreated by inlaws and also seems unhappy in the stay at home/care role), and possibly never really talked about their mismatch in socio economic positions? Like, nursing homes are really sad (tho necessary in this economy sometimes :/), and him parents are both disabled and living on welfare, and without grieving for this sad position she demands to throw them away. I think it's fine to want to be financially comfortable (putting finances first), but it seems he feels desperate for helping his family and is in a totally different position than her and mb they shouldnt have married...
how about no one’s parents stay with them, everyone goes to the nursing home.
She offered that compromise and he insisted she care for his parents
@@WeAreAllRidiculous and she should’ve said no but she didn’t so now she’s stuck playing caregiver instead of standing her ground on a fair agreement.
She did say that!!
The in laws story: too much missing but based on what OP wrote, OP and now ex husband were never 100/100 in the relationship. This is a prime example of what is wrong with people today especially the 50/50 thought process. If the roles were reversed the husband would be made the villain.
#that's my
Welcome cousin 🤫
#that’s my 38:46
It’s about to get wicked cousin 😈🤞🏾
thats my
#thatsmycomfortlevel
I agree with a lot of things you guys said, I really think this poster should have left out how she felt about her in-laws in general because all of that does really just make her sound like an ahole so it's pretty hard to sympathize with her even though I generally agree with her logic. Also not sure how she would have been able to help two people, one with dementia, and one with severly limited mobility, at the same time and also work. But all of the hateful things she said about her inlaws, and her being cool with them going to a bad assisted care facility... wowww.
And I know I'm totally beating a dead horse, it is just the fact that within the last ten years I have watched the same thing happen to my grandparents, my grandpa has Parkinson's disease, and my grandma was his full time caregiver. It was super damaging to their marriage, my grandma really couldn't physically do the things my grandpa needed and when he was less far along he still tried to do things homself and ended up falling a lot and getting very hurt. Ultimately it was the right decision for them to move into assisted living, even with family living close by, and helping out pretty much daily. My grandpa has help and can maintain his dignity and he and my grandma are doing better as result. I know it's a hard decision but sometimes it is the right one. I'm glad my grandma was able to make that choice and none of my uncles/aunt/dad had to really get involved.
I feel like the way she feels about the in laws justifies the whole thing for me, they treated her bad. She owes them nothing. The insinuation that she should concede her comfort and happiness in a home she paid for, for her husband's rude bully parents is gross. I would have done what she did exactly.
I think this is because she's angry about what's going on. And I think it's unfair for us to dictate how someone speaks when they're obviously upset especially when they're dealing with emotional abuse from the apartment.
2nd story so the woman was f'ing awful saying things that ya'll hate when men say and ya'll was like oh he did other things. Nal I been binged watching ya'll shows to see if it equal seems obviously not. Women can do no wrong.
Edits for the in law story don’t make her an AH. Women be expected to care waaaayyy too much. I don’t think ppl would feel this way if it was a man. Making someone else carry the brunt of the work is shitty. Compromise is key. If he can’t do it, then that’s that. If the genders were reversed, the guy paying for everything and being expected to care for in laws would be in the right. But that doesn’t happen cuz nobody expects the man to care for the spouse’s parents.
I guess this is an unpopular opinion but i dont trust OP with her version of the story with her in-laws.
I don't think she viewed her husband as a partner and i think that skewed the whole story. Like, maybe that could be a reason why her in laws don't particularly like her?
There was SO much room for compromise and understanding that she entirely disregarded. You have a right to only care about how the situation effects you; but he's a million percent in the right to for being upset, frustrated, abandoned and betrayed for his "wife" (at the time) to pull the "well its *my* house so you can either get with the program or get out". I have a high key suspicion there was a lot more gray in the situation than " my husband is bringing my toxic in laws that are high needs and dumping them on me"
At minimum it was an ESH but my spider senses say YTA. Only good thing was that they divorced because it didn't seem like she viewed their relationship as a partnership in the first place 🤷♀️
#that'smy
👀 *Promo SM*
I think the wife only views people for what they can do for her.
It really makes me think that if her husband became disabled to the point where he needed to be taken care of which she just divorce him and kick him to the curb?
I don’t think so, especially if she’s the sole helper of his parents. It’ll be different if they both have the time and could make a proper schedule to help each other. If he’s constantly working and his parents need basically intensive care. Logically it makes more sense for his parents to got to the nursing home especially when it’s known that it’ll be a huge financial burden. Whether you think emotionally or not, what she said is smart.
why is SHE expected to take care of his family while also working and taking care of the house but HE isn’t expected to find the money to support his parents alone??
I think she's completely valid and not one to take care of someone who has serious mental health issue especially since she doesn't have any training. I also think that her anger and her leaving her husband was justified. Why would you stay with someone who emotionally manipulate to? And a person who doesn't financially contribute to anything yet feels the need to demand everything of you.
She was going to pay for his parents to be in a nice nursing home, how is that benefiting her? How is that transactional? just because she was protecting herself. She’s a bad person that looks down on people. SMH I guess we’re supposed to let ourselves go, and put up with manipulation and abuse, all in the name of love in marriage. No! She never said this man isn’t shit, and when he gets old and sick I’m out. She been taking care of him! Plus she was going to pay for his parents nursing home. So how does that add up to her lead her husband something happened to him. He just got sick of the bullshit.
#thats my
Had to turn off the screaming is annoying
sam b having the worst takes sometimes like what is u saying bro...
The update somehow made it worse.
Honestly, I hope OP ends up alone because she’s never going to view anybody as her equal in that mindset it’s just crazy to me.
Why did she even bother getting married? If she’s never going to view anybody has her equal?
Well no because she had a better job, more money and said her husband was going to ruin her life by making her a full time nurse in her own house to people who treat her bad. You can always do better then that.
Its important to remember alot of the people we date may not be good enough for us. This was clearly one of those situations to me. Just the fact she'd rather be alone speaks volumes.
I don't understand why you feel that He contributes nothing financially and expects her to not only financially support his parents but be care givers as well. I think she's right.
You sound like a hater. 😂 you never been hurt? you never been bad at this bullshit before. So she supposed to be a walking doormat? We just hearing the end of the marriage, there was probably a lot done to her, that made her feel the way she did. What she supposed to kiss old peoples ass., just because they’re her husband’s parents! She said what she said, because her ex husband is an idiot! She was going to support his parents, and make sure they end up in the right facility! she only said that because she was frustrated. I swear people that have some success and money always get hated on, if they talk about their accomplishments. So because she is being honest about her life. And pointing out that she deserves to be lonely?😂😂😂
I think both of the parents should move in and the wife’s parents who are more capable and financially capable should be the ones taking care of the husbands parents
Why put that burden on them?
I don’t know why everyone is taking that in-law question at face value. OP did everything she could to communicate in her writing that she is a ruthless, unreliable narrator with low empathy. If she alone can afford two lawyers then they together can afford a nurse. It’s clear she doesn’t love him. She detests him. He’s fortunate that he was able to get away from someone like that. Have a feeling that the “in laws treating her badly” is code for “they don’t take kindly to the condescending way I talk to people economically beneath me.” Just a theory.
Same! I am not getting any signals that he was manipulative or a free loader (she literally said he works more hours than her) reading the comments. Don't get it.
Sure having a family member with dementia is hard and maybe nursing home could have been apart of the conversation but I don't think she ever cared to try to engage to find a middle ground
I don't understand how people are coming to this conclusion She didn't call him bro, she didn't call him a dead beat. All she said was she owns the house and he doesn't financially contribute, and if he doesn't, then why is that bad to say period also, she's right for not wanting to take care of a dementia patient when she has no training to do so, and she has to work, and she has to financially support household. That's a logical that's not heartless.
@@newbooksmell4163Also, she literally said that she could help. Put his parents in a nursing home and if it's a big deal for him, and she won't even let her parents invent. So how is it that she didn't try to find a middle ground? It's giving you just don't like women. That you want her to be the bad guy no matter what.