As an overweight widowed woman in my late 60s, I have accepted that men are just not going to be interested in me, no matter what my stellar qualities are as a human being. I moved away from where I'd lived for 20 years and joined many meetups -- and found that the men in these groups interpreted just saying hello as hitting on them. And because I am short, more than just a few pounds overweight, and not beautiful (no matter how I put myself together), I was rejected even as someone to converse with. I instead built a vibrant social life of women friends, and while I often wish I had someone close, it is easier to accept not having that and be with people who DO accept me than to twist myself into pretzels trying to fit some unattainable standard of attractiveness. I've made my peace with that about 80% of the way and working on that last 20%.
Great to hear that. I’ve chosen the same path for myself. I’m tall and relatively average weight, but just sick of the games. So I enjoy my life without them. We all have different reasons, so I pull for you for that last 20%! 👍😊
I hate to bust their big head, but just because a woman talks to you doesn’t mean they want you! Sometimes we just want to talk. I’ve even asked a few guy friends and they said they do think like that. Those guys are probably missing some great friendships ♥️
It can be highly overrated indeed, and solitude and a life outside of dating is highly underrated. Many people are terrified to be alone and it’s a recipe for disaster, especially if kids are in the picture.
Being alone and finding fulfillment with your own company is amazing. Sharing your interests with a companion is also wonderful. Whatever you choose, may it be fulfilling.
1) Don’t wear shape wear. 2) Don’t disparage ex. 3) Post current photos of you. 4) Tell truth about your age. 5) Don’t make a man your pet project. 6) Let man take care of you 7) Don’t drink much on first date. 8) Don’t wear very revealing clothing unless you want sex right then 9) Be kind to men who write you online.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach You did not notice that it was your list summarized? Not his list. I hope your comment was intended as a wink or humorous because otherwise it does not bode well for your analytical skills.
Well, also 67, still working full time, and love having my home to myself. I have a few friends and plenty of family. Yeah, loneliness isn't a thing. Anything I want to do, I go do. My bucket list is short and uncomplicated. Having said all that, my actual comment was to be that I find it hilarious that Robert and I each clicked on this video!!🤣 (Curious minds....)
I'd say 80% of women that I met misrepresented themselves. Lied about age (very common), height, body type, interests, kids, even marital status. It's bad enough when someone says they are divorced when they are just separated, but I met women who said they were divorced when they were really living with their husbands and just "emotionally separated". Add in shape altering attire, heavy makeup, hair extensions, and God knows what else and it's easy to develop trust issues.
Hey Mag Steel, I think this goes both ways with men and women feeling deceived by the opposite sex. Sadly, I feel that comes from fear of making yet another BIG MISTAKE. So appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
@@Lisaann268 I didn't think it was fear of a mistake. I felt it was just that people are lonely and want some attention, affection,and validation. I've always been really honest on my dating profiles but unfortunately honesty isn't the best marketing strategy.
I am 54 year old man. My feeling for woman has deffinetly changed. I fall in love with their natural body, the way she thinks,the way she sees, the sound of her voice, the way she makes me feel. The sum of all those characteristics turns my heart on. The body shape is beutiful but not the main ingredient. Good day to you all!!
@@Jan-qv8ku I dont believe you and Im going to call you out for your comment Jan because you and women like you are the reason over 50 year old men are RUNNING from women like you. You see over 50 bitter women like you throw in the insult that poor old Alfredo is in capable of copping onto, there are lots of lonely simps like Alfredo out there but he does not represent masculine men and he most certainly is not an " actual" man as you try and thrown shame onto other men. Have you seen Alfredo Jan? How do you know he is not an obese man living with his other after his 2nd divorce? Now he may not be but if he was?.... do you still consider him an " Actual man" or do you recognise the bitterness and resentment in your own comment? What you think is so wonderful is the empty validation you just got from a total online stranger. " The sum of all those parts turns my heart on"......... is that even the words of an actual man? Jan? let me ask you something, are.... are you Alfredo? Do you have two email accounts? Because if I had a make friend who spoke like Alfredo does or said such a cringe comment in the company of other men they would first laugh and then vomit and its entirely likely one of the men would slap Alfredo for such cringe thinking. At least Jan thats what an " actual" man would do and been a man I know better than you what a man is and what a man should be and CUCK no 1 Alfredo is not it I assure you.
I'm a man in my mid sixties, just looking at dating again having lost my wife to multiple sclerosis three years ago. It's hard to live without a partner after almost forty years, but it's equally hard I think, to realistically consider dating again, after all those years actually dedicated to one woman. All these eight things are very real and I believe well addressed.
I am sorry for your loss. Forty years is a long time. I, too, am in my mid-60’s and single by choice after an unhappy marriage. For me, putting aside the phrase “dating partners” and substituting this with “seeking new friends” as my goal keeps me focused on what I’d like - a deep friendship then maybe a relationship. This removed a lot of pressure!
@@lesliemontagne6797 Yes, you have the right idea! I met my man 5 years ago and we have just moved in together. We have lived next door to each other the past 3 years before I would agree to take the next step
Maybe try dating women you've actually met in real life. One thing to keep in mind; women get rude is that we get tired of all of the inappropriate and disgusting messages we are inundated with on a daily basis. Women - yes even older women - get rude, overly intrusive, and sometimes even just gross messages from men all the time. Whether online or in person, how you approach a woman matters. A lot of women are less receptive to messages from any man after they've just sifted through dozens of distasteful messages. Honestly, I think that online dating has ruined the relationship experience for a lot of people. If you are really looking for someone to connect with, I find it best to meet people during the activities you are already doing. If you go hiking or participate in a club or organized activity of some kind, you will meet people with whom you already have a shared interest to bond over. You will see women in their true form - not over-dressed for a date, and you will already see some of their interactions with other people to know if you are even interested in the first place. Don't give up on love. Just go out there and meet real women in real situations like you did when you were younger - before all this inline match-making nonsense got started.
I have been divorced for seven years, now; and in that time, I have not seen one man, that I would care to date. I am way past 50, and most men in my age group, just want someone to take care of them. You know, those 8 points that you are talking about, well, those 8points, go both ways. I have been very happy, these past years , and I do the things that I really want to do. Stay single ladies. As we get older, it's the best thing that we can do for ourselves.
A 101 year old woman said that was the reason she lived so long. lol. But, when you have a good man in your life, life can be a lot more fun and its good to know someone has your back.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach the only fun thing I miss is sex (which is fun and I do miss it) but the rest I can get by myself or with my sisters and friends and my life isn’t an eternal compromise - by which of course I mean he does what he wants and I do what he wants
I cannot believe why a woman or a man would lie about age, weight and height. If you lie for things that are easily discoverable, you will lie for everything.
I once thought about lying about my age, but quickly realized I would have to change important details of my life story. It would not be one lie but hundreds.
@adrianred236 you are right! It reminded me when I used an online dating site years ago and being new, I put my body type average, which, in fact, wasn't. I was more athlete at that time. I didn't do this on purpose as I never saw myself as an athletic type. So, I went on a date with this guy who was quite nice and said, "You aren't average." You are perfect and quite athletic. It was a happy moment for me, actually.
Be yourself and happy with yourself. You will attract others. My husband and I married when he was 60 (on our honeymoon) and I was 63. He is a Pastor and we are both strong Christians. We met on Christian Mingle and met in person within a couple weeks. We didn’t worry about doing or saying anything. We were just ourselves. Our first date lasted 10 1/2 hours, ending at 10 p.m. We had wonderful conversation and did some fun things. We met in June, were engaged in July, and married in November. We have been married almost 10 years now. We both retired and a year a half ago packed up, sold our home and moved to the Florida panhandle. We are involved in many Church activities and my husband is now an interim Pastor and we sing together at Services. There IS hope for anyone looking to meet someone.
@@michaelsix9684- Thank you. Hope is still out there. You may have to do something out of your comfort zone - like internet dating. However, it can happen. I should mention my husbands 1st wife had passed away at age 56, and my husband suffered from mental illness and sin & chose to leave me to move back home with his mother.
I'm male and have long been aware of the insane pressure that women live under to look like this, not like that, speak like this not like that and so on and so on. It's like women are living in some bizarre dictatorship that exists in a parallel to the world that men live in. To be honest, I'm tired of it. I am bombarded by the same advertising, the same pressure and the same insistence about what women 'have to be' - it's just that none of it is directed at me. It sometimes feels like I'm living in a toxic soup. Let's just let women of all ages enjoy being themselves for goodness sake. And let me enjoy it too.
Bullshit and Ill tell you why. What you just explained is a womans issue and has nothing to do with men whatsoever. Women dont dress up for men, they dress up for each other. No man ever looked at a woman in nice jeans, shirt, boots and a little make up and said " No thanks" provided she was fit and healthy. The toxic soup you describe is a toxic soup made by and for women. But men have the same toxic soup again made for women but directed at men and that toxic soup is one of expectation of a financial ability to provide for a family for life and with a divorce rate of 55% the financial ability to provide for a family in divorce too even though 81% of divorces are filed by women. So your comment is somewhat accurate but your simping out of the reason because you are afraid to hold women accountable. Its women who have done this to other women.
So do men with being over 6 feet, making 6 figures, living in an expensive mansion and etc... Pressure goes both ways. When you do your thing then women of all ages want the top men and rest of the men ard invisible. Its sink or swim. Pressure is on everyone!
80% are Overweight & 80% of those women are OBESE....these women are undateable.....but yet these same women demand perfection from a man....& he of course has to be rich to support her lifestyle....
I personally find that todays women on the dating seen are very materialistic, hypocritical, argumentative, combative, independent in the sense of acting masculine. They also have a list that really unrealistic in what they want in a man. To me dating nowadays is like a comedy show. All I ask in a woman is, your actions are stronger than your words, feminine, peaceful, smart, loyal, trustworthy and have integrity
Sorry this has been your experience. I can assure you there are plenty of quality women that do not possess those characteristics looking for Quality Men to date. Please share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who this video is made for. Good luck!
I`m amazed at how much of this advice is targeted at online dating. In my experience the best way to find good partners is by joining activity groups that reflect your interests (classes, sports groups or gyms, cooking clubs or similar). Attraction is important, but it is only part of the matrix for a sucessful long term relationship; if you start off with lots of things in common, you can weather any number of problems, as you will be friends as well as romantic partners. Also in an interest based environment you can take longer to observe and get to know the person without the pressure of them projecting romantic aspirations onto you, and vice versa.
Meeting in real life is an idea way to meet someone because you are seeing both what they look like along with their personality which can make them attractive in a way online dating can't. The advantage of online dating is the majority on there are single. THat's hard to tell in real life.
Pheromones are an important part of attraction, as well as eye contact and of course personality. I agree that your suggestions offer more possibilities of meeting people but it's just hard for the introverts though. We are not much on joining groups and initiating conversations.
One guy I met online showed up completely bald and about 50 pounds heavier at 37. His photo was obviously from 10 or 15 years before. It was shocking when I met him in person. I went ahead with the date because I didn’t want to be rude. But it made me angry because the photo was a misrepresentation of who he actually was.
Dang, if I was in your shoes I'd be angry too and probably would have ended it right then. I no longer have tolerance for liars. If that's rude, so be it
I was on a dating site fifteen years ago, my pictures were current I bought more dinners than Michael winner!! Women do this as well ten years out of date photos three stones heavier. Some of them were still married, one I met wanted me to beat her ex boyfriend up as he fiddled her out of a load of money. I told her at the end of the night your looking for a Hitman not a boyfriend!! I did meet two out of probably a hundred that I had a relationship with first one was absolutely stunning petite trendy but she had borderline personality disorder had to let her go her jealousy was overbearing. Second one I lived with for seven years very classy lady, were still friends
In my 50's I found myself single again and dating women about my age. Perhaps the biggest turn off was over-share. They quite often filled me in on relationship, financial, and health problems they had and/or were still having. Some of them went on and on, with no intention of going on a second date. I'm a good listener, so I take some of the blame, but it's not like I'm pumping them for this info. Early on I took it as a sign they felt comfortable with me and I was making progress. Eventually I realized they just liked to talk about themselves. And don't mind that a virtual stranger now knows they had a sexless marriage, hysterectomy and a boob job.
Most dates turned out well enough that I was interested in a second one. Only 3 that I can remember (out of maybe 70-80 over a 9 year period) were so boring I wished them luck and went my way. Slightly over half turned down a rematch. But I am re-married and off the dating-go-round now. We are always looking for friends, though. Close friends, if you know what I mean.
I like all of this. I'm 73 and I stopped dating years ago, because even at my age, men seem to be looking for sex over relationships. I'm also sick of the "must be slender and have your own teeth" ads from men, then you get a picture of them and they have a big fat belly! I'm overweight, don't have all my own teeth and don't drink. smoke, or have sex really quickly. All of that seem to be turnoffs for men, or at least the ones I used to attract. Also, a lot of men my age have numerous health problems, and I don't want to be a hospice wife. I just think at some point, it's time to give up on dating and settle in to loving your own company.
Also 73yrs old, couldn't agree with you more! I'm happy to be happy with myself. I am not looking for someone to take care of in the last time I have here! And I certainly don't want to be involved with anyone that will only turn out to be a disappointment. 🤨
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's really important to prioritize your happiness and comfort, and if that means enjoying your own company, then that's perfectly valid
I'm 64 and loving it. Totally accept myself the way i am and don't feel the need to impress anyone. First dates can be awkward: be yourself, be optimistic with an open mind. My biggest turn off is someone more attached to his phone than trying to talk to me! Don't misrepresent yourself online and show up being someone quite different.
Absolutely! More & more people are becoming "addicted" looking at their cell phones. Talking face to face, it makes us feel INVISIBLE when the guy is scrolling & texting at length more than once, in front of us! Next time... I'm walking out. Don't care? Buh-bye, adios!
My daughter went on a first date with a man who got a call on the way to the restaurant and kept talking as they entered. The hostess asked "How many?" K. said "Two, and a cell phone." He still didn't get it. There was no second date.
I have found too many women that are unhappy or unsure of themselves. Much less of this, usually, as we get older but there are few bigger tunrnoffs than being unhappy or unsure of yourself. Self confidence and a smile goes a long way.
I have heard it from men though, they would rather a humble woman who has some insecurities and they would rather deal w/ some building her up, than a woman who is full of herself and is intolerable and demanding.
To all you single ladies making comments, god bless you coz I feel the same as a single divorced man. I have inner peace with myself and being single and I still love and respect women. Once one gets past 60, male or female think more about yourself and your happiness instead of people around you, bottom line treat ALL people with respect and dignity❤❤
Absolutely agree. As we get older, we mellow. Nothing else matters but be happy, be yourself, be healthier and be at peace with yourself. Have fun in your own way in any shape, size or form that suits you best, even the simplest thing in life is also fun and learning to connect my body and mind in whatever activity is therapeutic and enjoyable as well.
REAL SATISFACTION IS THE ATHEIESTIC PAYINGS IT FORWARD, TO HUMANS. SELF- TIME-SPEND LIKE THOSE VONUNTEERS OF "NOT FOR THEMSELVES" PROFITS! MUSIC.... AND SHE TRYING TO BUY HER WAY TO H EAVEN?
Because of rule 8 (trying to date women , that is), I have completely ended any form of dating. I am shocked by the lack of no basic manners , rudeness & so direct with no warmth. So you are turned off from the complete beginning. Then the attitude of not wanting to write anything about themselves (probably because they are engaging with so many men) , then lastly using the old pics. I have been single for 4 years. My life is really good (as good as it can be being alone) & now feel that it is more trouble than what it is worth. Now I am shocked / surprised in finding out in last 2 months that this is a common trend & see all the TH-cam channels on men opting out. My 2 cents worth .
Thanks for your feedback and sorry that has been your experience. Fortunate for the women I work with, we are finding plenty of quality men for them to date and creating meaningful relationships for both women and men. Please be sure to share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these are made for!
face it guys, you're looking at the leftovers, misfits, or losers now -- with RARE exceptions most women 50 plus are no longer suitable date or partner material, late Kevin Samuels said it many times -- he said "older women are just too damn difficult to be around and that is why men their age don't want them"
Agreed, there's a reason Redpill and Mgtow now exist. Also there's only one for men and there is none for women. The fact it is expanding in all country's and not just one isolated (cultural) one e.g USA. Means the problem men see in women is worldwide which is interesting. Another interesting thing is Redpill creator's say " we don't recruit...they find us"
@Linl love sunrise and sunset of the sea, when I'm on holiday I often get up before sunrise to see it, sets me up for the day. So many places in the world to experience, personally I like the Greek islands for.beachy type holidays with some exploring etc, Chamonix is good in summer and for skiing too. Living by the beach was always my wish for retirement, some people say they get bored though and don't end up going to the beach much, do you find that?
I had this great date with this lady I met online who was clearly very interested in me. On our third date over a candle light dinner she said she hates "Trump supporters", finds them sickening and racist. I ended our relationship b/c she had such hatred for people who disagree with her.
It's important both men and women are clear on the values they are looking for in their partner and stick with it, as well as become the person they want to be with. Good on you endng a relationship that had no future for you. Please share this with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these videos are made for. Thanks!
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach I am very progressive and seek someone who has similar values. I am also non-religious. Common values are a huge factor in relationships working out according to many professionals. John and Julie Gottman are psychologists so check them out.
Must be 6ft tall, 6 figue income, 6 pack abs, own his own house, be attractive, be single, own his own car, pay for everything, not be conservative or be a Trump supporter and the list goes on. By the time their requirement list is complete, less than 1% of men meet all requirements. They will remain alone while waiting for their unicorn to show up.
Turn off #8 - Be kind. When I was actively looking for dates on dating sites, my practice was to respond to the women I was interested in, and then offer a small forgiveness practice for each of the women I didn't respond to, because everyone is a beautiful and sacred soul and is deserving of that honor even if I didn't feel they were what I was looking for. Women get many more matches on these dating sites, so it may be a group honoring might be a better way to go. Anyway, I found a beautiful match and I am truly grateful for all the women who were presented to me on those sites!
I love your forgiveness practice and your gratitude. Qualities like those make for great partners so it is no wonder you found a beautiful match. Much luck to you both!
Very good advice. I've always been single and am not into dating anyone. I recently heard someone who advise couples dating to find someone to marry, defining chemistry as someone you are comfortable with. If you can't present yourself as you are to someone, you are not comfortable. I would add: go somewhere you can really talk and get to know a person. Too much drinking is also a huge turn off to me as a woman as it is to a man . In fact, it's a deal breaker. Also if you are not over an ex, you are not ready to meet anyone new.
Yep, it has been many years since having a date. Life got in the way first, then where I call home does not have what I am looking for. Everyone needs a match with chemistry and being a certain way has nothing to do with it. You either have it (with the polish and flow) or you don’t. As we age we learn what to invite in or what to leave behind. If there is no contrubribution, no need to be there. An example, from my prospective, I had a relationship with a nice lady, educated, lots of money, good looking but something was just off. Turned out she had medical issues that you just could not live with. It takes time to not leave the remains of a tornado behind. I quit looking and I say, I do not need a woman but It still would be nice. it is a new day so smile and help others you see in your walk today!
Two turn-offs: him pointing out all the other women in the room who are so much better looking, and talking about his medical problems. I've been on dates with men who have done both of these...and it didn't lead to a second date!
@@feliciasampson8032smart. No second dates there. If a man you are out on a first date with is pointing out the better looking women in the room…run..don’t walk to the nearest exit. That man is not there for anything serious or lasting and is very shallow in my never to be humble opinion.
LIfe changes when you're single and both men and women feel lonely but . . . I have friends who have been in very long marriages that feel the same way as you.
1. Authenticity is key 2. Don't bash your Ex - men are wired to fix but feel inadequate if unable to 3. Post current pics representing yourself as you are including best version within the year 4. Men are okay with their lifestyle and resent changing to fit yours, accept them as they are or they will resent you 5. Let him lead by taking "action" over words by accepting help from a man, let him DO for you what you can do for yourself by stepping back so he can step forward ~ create space for him to step up. He wants to lighten your load by doing things for you, even the things he knows you can do or are capable of doing 6. Wear flattering clothing but not revealing too much 7. Be kind rejecting men online, you're "not a fit" but wish them well
Never dated via an app; always initiated anything in person. Married a woman after I saw her on beach/SCUBA dates… I saw exactly what I was dating! Ultimately, once attracted… personality with common interests and some differences was key… with political and religious compatibility being crucial.
The reason to be authentic is because you need to be ok with yourself if there’s going to be hope for a healthy relationship. If you are insecure, hiding yourself psychologically, emotionally, or physically, it’s a red flag unfortunately. The same goes for not dealing with your issues because we don’t want to be punished for what someone else did in the past.
I’ve been divorced for 15 years and haven’t been able to find a quality man. The ones I’ve dated were just interested in sex. I like sex but need the emotional component. I want to spend time with a man and get to know them before becoming physical. I’d love someone to go out with, travel with, spend time with, and be intimate with.
It is possible. Don't give up. If ever you want to try something new, let's get on a call to help you break through: www.findaqualityman.com/talktolisa
Many of the women I've met on first dates have shown up heavier than their photos and have lied about their age. Needless to say there was no second date.
It happens for both men and women, sadly. Thanks for watching my video. Please share with your single lady friends over 50 as this is who these videos are made for. Thanks!
As a 53yo guy, I highly recommend you just listen to your 50+ yo old single mother friends who tell you you that you can have any man you want, how’s that worked for you so far? Misery loves a friend ladies! Your single friends are, in reality, your worst advice, but hey, I’m a man, what would a man possibly know about what a man desires?
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach but your message is ....hating men....you women are always right....& men ae always the problem....keep hating us & we can keep hating you....
Men always want younger women. And with the new crop of single desperate younger women wanting sugar daddies or other pay for play action, retirement aged women would be better served by living together and looking after themselves in a woman cooperative living arrangement. Or ladies enjoy being a grandmother or matriarch in your families. Dating men your age is a pipe dream! I'm 62, a widower, in good shape both physically and financially. I'm not going to date women my age, the effort isn't worth the results. I'm enjoying my peace. Alone but not lonely.
I love your comments because as a retired widower (40 years) who just back into 'dating' a year ago @74yo, it has been very hard, and many of the women I met have displayed 2+ of your turnoffs, especially the age factor (although I'm quite fit and active). One you didn't mention is asking how much I make/my worth - that one gets a "Thank you, Bye!" Unfortunately our generation is not one where the woman takes the first step - or if they do, I'm out of the pool.
I agree with you about financial matters. At our age, ideally our financial planning has come to fruition and the last thing we need is a dependent whose healthcare expenses become our responsibility should we marry.
Yah left out when a women says, "My kids come first....looking for a real man that can treat me and my fantastic 20 something year old kids the way we deserve". And she expects the 1st date to be a dinner at a $$$$ restaurant.
Both men and women deserve to be treated with respect. Thanks for your feedback. Please be sure to share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these are made for!
Hi Nancy, it doesn't have to be that way. Please continue watching more of my videos, and if you would like to get more clarity, apply for a Complimentary Find Your Mr. Right Breakthrough Session: findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/ with me.
You got that right. Finding most men want women their GRAND DAUGHTERS age even though they look ridiculous and have to pay for them to keep their attention
I hit 30 and stopped approaching. Part of it was I got tired of asking. Part was I began to resent it and the way I was treated just for asking. I don't find women over 30 attractive and I want children. So I'm calling it quits. Like most men these days.
I agree that men need to know they are needed. But, as a female who has been on her own since college- never married or lived with a man. I have to do all on my own - don't have a choice. People tell me I give off 'I don't need you vibes'. Well it's hard not to when I have to rely on myself. If my current reality is being single and something needs to be done, I can't just wish for Mr. Helper to magically appear. Although if the funds are available I'm sure there is a Mr. Helper I could pay😅
Thanks for sharing your experience. Many women fall under this category, specially after divorce. We just have to get things done ourselves. It's definitely a learning curve.
women can be feminine looking and masculine acting. Men notice this and usually just mentally cross those women off for serious consideration as mates. But for recreational use, those women are good enough. But it's always the mans fault, that damned patriarchy, right?
Most men will offer to help if asked in a sincere manner. Be thankful and let him know he is appreciated. Take him out for dinner as a means of thanking him.
These are very good tips, and they apply to both men and women of all ages. A number of those turnoffs for men are the same turnoffs for women (lying, misrepresentation, bitterness towards exes and people who rejected them, and trying to change the other person). I would approach rejection with caution. I’ve had experiences where I explained that we weren’t a good match, and sometimes the man reacted very poorly. Either it degraded into insulting me (“I didn’t think you were all that anyway. I was just being nice.”), or there were underlying threats of violence. Don’t worry - I blocked them, and for those who threatened violence, I reported them.
Yes agree with you 100%. Same applies for both genders. And when men react poorly...just further proof that you are making the right decision. It's too bad they get so triggered, but that is their work to do.
To those men who can't handle rejection, tell them "Thanks for proving my point"! Their reaction confirms your good judgement. I've only ever had one woman do that to me, so I guess it's more common with male egos? I think the "pet project" issue is more commonly applied by women?
@@Gypsygirl9 The social media platform where the person reached out. If the threats of violence and harassment hit too close to home, I involved my local authorities. I had one guy use the internet to find my address, and he decided to send the police to my house for a wellness check because I ignored his messages. I knew it was him because he followed up with a message the next day letting me know how good he felt to know that I was okay. I had to let the police know about it and also involve the authorities where he was located.
Hi Emily. Thanks for watching and for your feedback. Check out my many TH-cam videos on dating advice. There is a wealth of information on my channel. And if you're ready, schedule a complimentary dating consultation with me: findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/ You got this! Believing in you!
My personal experience is that at 62, I take my bachelorhood as a statement of my character. I just retired, house is paid for and my two adopted boys are out and productive and don't need me for support any more. I thought having a good job, good income and a home would be attractive, but I spent too much time working and not enough socializing. Men, make time for romance and looking for a wife or you can end up secure and alone. Be forgiving and open. All I have is a cat and a YMCA membership and travel. Not as good as someone who cares.
It's too hard to find a quality wife....Women don't want a quality partner...they want someone they can control, take his money & his house....& of course, there will be NO sex...
I wouldn't listen to Steve the jaded. I'm 56 and I'm looking for companionship w/ a kind and gentle natured man. I would like to spoil someone a bit and have them want to spoil me a bit. I miss making meals together and just simple things like taking care of the home together. Going for walks, a nice drive to a little burg to walk around and find a homey diner. Some women are looking for simple things. Someone we can get along w/, ease the loneliness and make each others lives fuller and richer.
I think your list was wonderful. I'm at a place where I've pretty much given up. I haven't dated in many years - and honestly doubt that will change. The dating world has changed in the extreme - It's not like it was (imo - that's a real shame)
Thank you, Lisa, this is very good advice. My wife and I have been married for decades and she has several unmarried lady friends that look up to her because of our long-term relationship. One little tid-bit of wisdom she shares with them is that the love of a woman for a man will never make him change. It's the love of the man for that woman that creates the desire for him to change. Thanks again.
Congratulations on your decades of marriage. You're so right, the change a man makes, comes from his own desire to make that change. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Translation - a head of hair defines a man's value, given it is something genetic that cannot be controlled or changed, but being obese is just fine and nothing to put any effort into.
@@LisaMedeiros-tr2lz Wow, your sarcasm is definitely a choice. I presume men don't like women who wear shapewear because they feel it's a form of deception; ie, a woman's not presenting herself as she really is. I feel similarly about men who wear baseball caps all the time to hide baldness. FWIW, I don't give a hoot if a man's bald, so long as he's a good, kind person with a sense of humor. But if he doesn't want me trying to hide that I'm overweight, he shouldn't hide that he's bald. It has nothing to do with whether a physical quality is inherited or acquired. BTW, studies increasingly show that being obese is more than a lack of willpower; it's a complex mix of diet, exercise, genetics, economics, and environment. Most fat people can give you a detailed rundown of every failed diet and exercise program they've tried. It's not helpful to shame or criticize them for wanting to be accepted as they are until they can get their personal weight issues figured out.
From a 61yo with full red hair: ever thought about wearing a cap to not get sunburned? It’s the same for „body shaping“ your lower leg because of medical conditions. It’s just needed!
@@SarahRenz59 agree! Not every woman is overweight due to overeating , lack of willpower. Childbirth, genetics, aging bodies slow metabolism. It’s not excusing, sometimes it’s science, biology, genetics!
I’m always honest…..no-one ever hits on me. They hit on blondes, they hit on much younger women, I’ve stopped bothering. I am very happy very independent etc…..but I still would like ‘the one’ ❤
I hear you Mari. It is possible to meet that man. If you need some guidance, schedule a Complimentary “Find Love After 50 Breakthrough Session" so we can discuss how this can happen for you.
Well said, and you hit point. I am 60, average height, average in many respects but I am outgoing. Most of us get over the rejection, just like anyone who does outside sales - it comes with the territory. However, some of the other red flags we will notice and not say anything, but will politely end the date without following up. About two years ago I met a stunningly beautiful woman, probably the most attractive I had met in 30 + years. I was on time for our date, but she had arrived early and started drinking early.... big mistake on her part. She was intoxicated halfway through the dinner. Days after that date, she called and apologized, making an excuse. I decided to give her another chance, and initially she was different. However, as more red flags appeared, I kept backing off. The last time I saw her, she wanted me to spend the night and to have sex. Physically, she was really desirable, and perhaps a 20 year old me would have stayed, but sometimes wisdom comes with age. I don't regret walking away. No matter great that night might have been, I would not want to deal with her for months much less years. We men have learned to be more discerning, and we no longer fall the games or overlook the actions of women as we did in our 20s and 30s. We want real women who are not beset with mental or financial problems.
Wow, love see great men like you watching and commenting on my channel. Thank you for being a stand up and respectful man. Proof that there are still great men out there.
What is your idea of outgoing? Physical activity? Do you believe in a greater power? Spiritual? Drink? Smoke? Cuss? Abuse substances? Relationship with PORN? My Ex was a Porn Addict and yes it IS devastating to a relationship. Do you avoid fast and overprocessed food? Like animals? Enjoy the country or city life? Enjoy going out and how often? What kind of music do you enjoy? Eclectic? Enjoy wildlife/animals/pets? Attend church? Travel? Vacations? We're you raised in a home with both or a single parent? Was church part of your upbringing? Higher education? Children? Grandchildren? Volunteer work? Unfortunately, in today's climate Political leaning? Views on the male and female roles and jobs within the relationship and household? Fighting/disagreement style? Have you ever hit or caused harm to another as an adult? Criminal history? Recovering substance abuser? Take medications for mental health issues? I know this is a lot to ask, but seriously, at our age, these are questions we should be asking before wasting our time on the wrong person. I went out with a man for the 1st time this past year 8.5 years after my divorce. He definitely opened my eyes as to what is important to me and what I am willing to tolerate in my remaining years. Our ideas on family values, physical activity/fit, eating healthy, entertainment, etc, were vastly different as most people's are.
A lot of you girls drop the ball you got divorced and you spoiled your kids beyond belief especially your son's you've made them pussies they're lazy they're rude or disrespectful and you're always bailing them out. No one i know wants to set at the table a share a meal. You girls forgot to be their mother not their friend. I laugh how the gals at the local bar get pissed off when guys dont include them when they buy a round. They still think there vajaja is gold. They never buy a round so why would we send them a drink.
I'm a single woman in my late 50s. I took a break from dating in 2017. My health wasn't good and the guy whom I was dating was too needy and a bit of a mooch, so I broke off with him. I recovered from my illness but am not sure about dating again. I honestly don't think that I can do it again because too many men disrespect women. I can't relax on a date with a man because I worry excessively about whether or not he's going to expect sex. That's the number one thing that I worry about when I go out with a man. I don't want to have sex with a man until I am ready and I've met some really aggressive and disrespectful men in my life so I gave up. 🤷♀️
Honey, we men do not expect sex after a date necessarily, but we, by no means, are ruling it out either. You see, after a date, we men may want to make out or have sex, however, we do not know if you feel the same way. What we do know is that you are not going to initiate sex it even if you wanted it. Therefore, we men have to. If we do not then we are out. If we do and you do not want to then fine but then you accuse us of 'expecting" it. We can not win with you. Already i am turned off by you. Just say, "No thank you, but i would like to see you again." or something like that instead of setting him up to fail in a no-win situation. That, my dear, is disrespectful to men. Initiating sex after a date is not disrespectful. We have to do it because you won't.
@tronmartin1 How about just getting to know somebody without initiating sex or expecting it period. Your comment shows that you already have it on your mind to begin with. The problem with today's women is that they don't seem to have any standards. These women are low hanging fruit ripe for the picking for a dusty man who has nothing to offer them but single motherhood. Am I turned off by you? I'm glad because you are not the type of man I would be interested in anyway. 🤣
@@tronmartin1 well, in my case I must just be myself. I have no expectations when I date. If I enjoy her company I may ask her out again. Dating is made to-get to know someone, their energies, wants and lifestyle. What if you sleep together and have nothing to say afterwards? Do not get caught in those traps. Meet on even terms without expectations and you won’t be disappointed !
@firstlast2034 That's the best way to do it. Honestly, I needed a break after I broke up with the guy who I was seeing. I'm not totally blaming him for the breakup. I was seriously ill in 2017, and I needed to focus on resting and caring for my health. I just didn't have the energy to keep hosting him cooking for him and catering to his needs. He also didn't take me out that often in better times, and when I got sick, he became a burden because I not only had to take care of my health but he wanted me to cook and cater to him. I immediately broke it off because he only added to my stress. In addition, I needed to work on myself and stop over giving and nuturing a man like a mother. That part of it was my fault. I also should've spoken up and said to him "look, I've been buying pizza and hosting every weekend and you never offer to pay for a pizza. I don't mind sharing but it would be nice if you also shared." I was too embarrassed to tell him how I felt. I felt hurt and I felt used.
@@angelamwatts You allowed yourself to be used would be the way I would look at it. Everything is a lesson - we either learn from our mistakes or we repeat them in another form. There is no wrong or right since it is only our lesson to learn and grow!
Thank you. I’m a 70++ woman and have been widowed for over ten years. I’ve been afraid to try dating mostly because I have had body altering surgery due to cancer. Any ideas on how to approach a subject like that?
Thanks for sharing Carolynn. Sorry to hear you have gone through that experience. It is important to note, that there are good quality men out there, and they too have had their share of health experiences. There is definitely a mindset shift that needs to happen. You are more than welcome to schedule a call with me to see if I can help you or at least guide you in the right direction: findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/
Carolynn, I was looking for some mention of disability in this conversation. There’s a world of difference between 50-60. After 60, stuff happens that we never dreamed of. Let’s see what the “fit” set says when it’s their turn. We’ll be like: “People call say 'beware doll, you're bound to fall' You thought they were all kidding you You used to laugh about Everybody that was hanging out Now you don't talk so loud Now you don't seem so proud…”
@@MfilYour words are so inspiring for me to maintain my LTR in distance, thank you! I have found my old friend we had been in love long long ago... We live in different countries, both had been very lonely before our second chance.... I'm 61, he is 68... and sometimes I think, there are lots of single women in his country, I doubt everything. But he is waiting for me, I am for him... Love is a rare thing in the world. One day, I hope, we'll be together, we both want this ❤❤
When men are young (imo) they are pretty much looking for only appearance. As we age (64) we are looking for real connection and true love ,.devotion. I have not read that you lack that so straight away. Honesty and being authentic is beautiful. Respectfully I am sorry for your loss and wish you well.
I'm 67, twice widowed, and dating is something I've decided not to do. The few men my age left with no serious issues are looking for younger or better looking women, plus there are too many scammers out there. Not worth it.
I am finding that a lot of men that are older than me, are looking for a "nurse with a purse". I am financially in a better place than a lot of retirees. However, I am frugal and live on a budget. I will not financially support a boyfriend. I also spent 30 years as an RN and those days of being someone's servant are over. I want a life partner, not another patient.
Yes, there are lots of scammers out there but there are good men to our age who want women closer to their age or even a bit older. One of my clients married a man 10 years younger than her.
As a 58 yr old single female, I refuse to go online to date. I see all my friends do it and it is a never ending job interview. Endless "candidates" hitting your inbox and they cannot stop looking, even when they supposedly are off the market. Pass on that.
I'm 60 and have never in my life been on a date. This is the honest truth. I'm finally thinking about it, but honestly, I feel like a 16 year old who's venturing out for the first time. I haven't the slightest idea what to do.
Be polite, smile, and treat the lucky lady like she is the most interesting and beautiful woman in the room. Take it slow, be patient. Listen more than talk. And get a new outfit that you feel comfortable in--when we look great, we feel great! You didn't exactly ask for advice but the big sister in me wanted to help! Good luck!
Bingo! Solid advise. Just be yourself. If I asked you out, I already want to get to know you. Also, I'm probably as nervous as you are. If you are yourself I'll respect you for who you are. Your great the way you are, be yourself and be honest.
I always post current pictures. Honest about my age. Never talk about an ex. The most important keep super fit. Always have. I exercised at gyms from the age of 25 . Keeps you looking years younger.
I have a few, and yes these did actually happen. One woman on our first date, asked me to sit down and close my eyes, we were at a park overlook. Before I knew what was happening, she was rubbing gobs of hair gel into my hair, and then she combed it and pronounced very proudly..."There, now you look like Wernher Von Braun"!!! I shit you not, that REALLY HAPPENED. Then she proceeded to tell me her parents were actual Natzi, both killed in the war. Another women showed up at a restaurant date, hot sweaty and discheveled, like she just got done washing her car....and yes, of course she told me that is exactly where she just came from! She didnt order anything, had no drinks, and she called the waitress for the check, before I was half way into a beer. She literally, got up, and just walked out. And one more asked me right in the middle of our first dinner date..."Whats your feelings about sex"!!! Nothing subtle about this one! And, all of this was after being rejected at least 800 times or so. Yes, I have 100% given up on women.
Don't give up. There are amazing women out there you might be seeing if you have a type you're always looking for. Try venturing out and looking for someone who is not your type and see if that works for you. My clients have had amazing results doing that and are now in great relationships with men they'd have never seen in the past.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach I don't have a type, I am very open minded. Unfortunately women are not the same way. They have actual lists of requirements and if don't meet just one of those requirements, they will tell you right to your face they are settling just to go on a date with you. The last women I dated, told me, "I lowered my standards to go with you"..... I am a degreed engineer, make six figures, am 6 ft tall, drive a nice car, and get my share of looks from the ladies. We dated for 5 years, and she told me I was the most amazing and unique man she ever met. She moved back to Ohio, to cash in on her mothers death and left me flat, without a shred of notice. Giving up isn't the best term, just seeing reality for what it actually is, is more accurate.
Best podcast I've seen in a long time. You are so on point. As a 73 year old man, I see you as a reasonable woman who understands that men are willing to give so much, we just want some recognition and kindness.
All of these points are spot on. I am 65 and dating a 73 year old woman (she lied about her age) who is soooo sweet, adorable, always replies to my calls and texts, and we go on long dates and talk endlessly. When I told her on our first date that I thought she was sexy, she blushed profusely (she is, she is a firecracker). Yoga and exercise are really important to her and me. Keep an open mind. Men want to do things for women, and I agree with that. The men want women to be women, that is, to be properly submissive to them. Proper submissive behavior includes taking our arm on the way to dinner or the theatre, letting us take and put on your coat, kissing you on the forehead, snuggling your head into our chest, and telling us when you need something fixed or moved. It does not mean that men are intellectually superior, want to control or manage your life, or own you in any way. As John Grey noted in "Men are from mars ..." this raises the testosterone in man and estrogen in women. I am getting to a point where always swipe left on the super-woman profile, never married, fortune 50 executive, fancy cars, traveled everywhere, done everything already. Please excuse my French, but why the F are you here in the first place? In my dating profile I say I am looking for a travel partner in a LTR and once I asked one of these boss-gals "would've the beach trip be more fun if you had someone to hold your hand as the sun set?" .... ... sigh!
Tom, this is so refreshing to read of a man dating an older woman in this age group. I don’t date ( I’m 65 and also a yogi!) because I have a belief that men in myage group go for much younger women - and mostly get them too. Thanks for making this comment on here as it’s lifted my spirits 👍
As a 60 year old man, I find your advice interesting. I'll add a bit more from a male perspective: My girlfriend is 62. She has kept herself fit through equestrian endeavors and weighs about 108lbs. She doesn't wear form fitting clothes (except her riding pants), and wears elegant if conservative dresses to go out. Being older doesn't mean you can't be fit! While a man does like to fix things, he doesn't need to be driven into an early grave with YOUR projects! Most ambitious men have a house of their own to take care of or improve. (Look at his house if you want to know what kind of man he is!) An older man isn't necessarily looking for intimacy. I'm active in my community and church. I have many female friends in the 50 - 80 age bracket. I can enjoy taking an 80 year old friend to dinner or the opera, and it's the character and personality of the woman that I enjoy! Also, men my age are not looking for a woman to financially support! My GF and I are both financially independent and own our respective homes without any debt. Many of the women I know in the 50 - 80 age bracket are also financially independent, though not all. Enjoy yourself, be truthful, and let your inner qualities shine the brightest!
Your words are so rumble. Everything you said seems obvious to me. I cannot imagine being rude on the first date. It sounds crazy. In my opinion, if you get disappointed after seeing the man in person for the first time for one reason or another, at least take the opportunity to learn about a new person that may not be ideal as a romantic partner but can be a nice person to be a friend. ❤
Thank you for your feedback. They may seem obvious to you because you may be in a different point in your life. These videos are for women over 50 who are dating again after not having done so in possibly decades. They need to relearn that again. You don't seem to be the audience for my work, and that is OK. Always appreciate feedback though. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach yes, Lisa. I am 53 years old and most likely I will be looking for a new partner soon. I confess that I am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, and that is the reason I watched and subscribed to your channel. Thank you for your thoughtful advice..
@@silvanacarr319, can I say you sounded a bit rude in your first comment? It wasn't a date, just communication, but I would suspect that you are rude sometimes and really sweet some other times. Look, at the end of the comment you show different emotion and your advice is actually good one. Maybe you are one of those hot and cold people, I don't know, but authentic for sure and you probably can find a man who likes some brutal honesty. I would really like to know, if Lisa feels the same vibes?
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach, do you feel the same vibes as I did? I just answered to Silva. Don't you think that some people actually like brutal honesty or why such trait still exists in the world? Even if someone avoids being rude in the first date, what if they actually are, sometimes like that?
@@liivikasaarman995 maybe the problem is because I have English as second language. I re-read my note and it may sound rude to some. But I actually.wanted to say that Lisa's advice is humble ( not rumble), and I cannot imagine being rude on the first date because, in my conception, there is not need for that. However, you are right when you say I like the brutal truth. I am a very straight forward person and honest. Or you like me or not, no mid term in my relationships. Thank you!
Hi Lisa, thanks for doing these! I'm 68, hetero male, and have seen a lot of content advising how to please women and better understand their needs in a relationship. I love learning about relationships, but have long wanted more content about what we old men want and need for our intimate relationships. Thanks for doing this, I hope to see more. My laments follow, so brace yourselves 😊: I'm a recovering addict, so alcohol, nose-candy, and tobacco are instant turn-offs, but cannabis is ok. Throw in being a lifelong nudist, and it's easy to guess that dating has been a disaster for me, and my partners. I maintain hope that I can find a companion in spite of all that, thanks to content like this! OK, enough jabbering, my number 1 dating/relationship disappointment: Being cut off in the middle of a sentence, especially when the interruption has nothing to do with what I was trying to say 😑. Thanks again!
The number one compliant of dating women over 50 is that they are over 50. Unless a man is 65 or older, he should not date 50 year old women. A successful 50 something man should be dating a 27 year pld
You are not going to find a companion by throwing all that out in the beginning. You do not sound emotionally healthy or ready for an honest and intimate relationship. I have been in behavioral health for over 25 years. I have seen a lot.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach I have a question. I am very (happily) married and I'm 41. But this showed up in my feed so now I am curious. Society seems to have disdain for women that have high [ even realistic] standards. HOWEVER, As a woman that looks [to some people] as much as 15 years younger than her chronological age.... couldn't I be pickier? I make decent money, do Pure Barre, yoga & lift. Also I have a brand new car and good credit.. Is it "fair" to exercise my privilege? Is it still rude to ask if say a guy knows what credit is? What his income looks like? Also if he even keeps track of his credit score? Because how can I be sure this person is good at adulting?
@@lorettaknoelk3475 So you are married and exploring what your market place value is? I smell divorce. Sure, ask a guy what his income and credit is on a first date. You seem to be really eating up the F-minist movement, where you are entitled to the resources. You sound like the epitome of what is wrong in the current dating experience.
69, widow, had a 2 year relationhip witn a man, I thought we would be together for the long run. He dumped me a woman 20 years younger than him. I have been alone since that and now like my singleness
1. Old photos and filters vs what I actually have in front of me. 2. Asking me about my income. 3. Asking me about my car. 4. Not taking care of her appearance (I can see the brand of the pillow on her hair, and I can't imagine if she is wearing a cashmere jacket or she has a lot of cats). 5. Too much masculine energy. 6. Bragging about how much money she makes, or her status, or her ex's status. 7. Asking to go for a dinner instead of a coffee. 8. Getting confused about my name in the first date. 9. Asking me to be your travel mate. 10. Behaving as a teenager princess. I know I am missing a lot but maybe somebody could add a couple more to the list. Dating in the North American culture is awful and after 50 is even worse.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. These are all definitely valid points and the list could be quite extensive. And based on my years working with women and talking with men about these specific things, this video encompasses the top 8...it's not a complete list by any means. I appreciate your feedback though.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach Oh yes, I totally agree with you. I just talk from my limited experience, trying to add some humor to a very complex topic. Thanks for your reply!
#10 is just the summary of 1-9. Bragging about her ex‘s status tells she has no clue about men even after decades. Men don’t want her because a lot of „high value“ men already had her. That’s a thing in her tribe only.
Such good advice! I have always been a natural not much makeup and casual person I believe if a man likes you he would like for who you are and not fake. I never understood why people filter their pictures online and look totally different in person. Be yourself and the.person that is interested in you will love you for who you are.
Anytime someone speaks in generalities, it is bound to be wrong. There is no formula for successful dating besides knowing what you want and where your boundaries are.
Knowing who you want and where your boundaries lie are a huge part of dating but there are other parts too equally important to successfully find love.
But, I think the idea behind this video and "things not to do", is it happens far too often. If she shows up highly misrepresented and appearing deceptive and dishonest, then here you have a video stating that is not a good idea. Most of this seems to be common sense, but the need for a video instructing people indicates that it not so common (the sense part).
I recognize it, minus the physically intimate part. I have a guy best friend of over a decade. He done went and fell in love with a younger woman, which is great! I'll be at the wedding. She was wondering a bit about our friendship, as our families did before her, but I think she has it sorted now. He and I have different home-life styles that wouldn't work but we still like each other for what we do have in common. I encouraged him to communicate on a deeper level and enabled him to have this new relationship. He called one day to tell me that and to thank me. I've met her and her two preteen kids. If they're happy, I'm happy!! The friendship was great. We always had a ready plus-one, someone to pick us up when cars needed serviced, a hiking buddy, dinner friend, person for advice, drinking buddy, movie or activity partner, etc. It was nice and we're still friends, albeit more distantly. More recently, an old male classmate and friend of mine got back in touch. We spent a day together doing fun stuff. As long as he doesn't go "romantic" on me, we're good. (I'm honest with him on where I stand.) Luckily, he doesn't live close by. I'm being cautious; from his history, he seems to "fall in love" easily. Also, he wouldn't know what paradoxical or conundrum mean.... I'm not sure in what context you're using the word "intimately," but maybe could guess since you're male? In my world, to ever get to "that," one would have to pass the brain test and then the heart test before any chance of "that" (i.e., must take the time to pique interest and soften heart to kindle desire). Older and wiser. I'm sure there are women out there who would be amenable to your thoughts. Make perfect sense to me!! (Just beware the gold diggers and scammers; they abound.)
I feel the same way. I'm very independent and free-spirited. I'm a contradiction of sorts, because as much as I don't like to be tied down, I value connection, open, honest communication and I need stability and consistency in a partner.
I am 73, a former model, and I am in reasonably good physical shape due to wanting to stay healthy and independent. No botox, etcetera; my wrinkles are a life well lived. But how I look in photos these days - it's always a bit of a shock! I find most men in my age bracket look sloppy and unhealthy. The ones who are reasonably fit and attractive want to date someone 30 years younger. Fortunately, I love my single life and so deciding not to date wasn't difficult. In fact, it has been rather freeing!
My ex wife said, “I want you, I don’t need you.” As a man, that was a terrible thing to say to me, and if I was dating a woman that said that, I would tell her, “Bye.” If I’m not needed, why even be in a relationship.
Yes I get it Dustin. Men want to feel needed. As women, many have learned to do everything on their own out of necessity. Doing my part to teach the ladies.
I once said to a man that I don't know what I would do without him. It just came out of the blue and I couldn't take it back because it made me sounds needy. I was so embarrassed and feel humiliated at the moment, but his eyes was locked into mine as if he was about to cry. To be fair, he was helping me with handy work around my house so maybe I was so grateful and feel overwhelmed.
@@chanthana7694 when you tell a man that, in my opinion, is the most respectful thing a woman can say. A man will sacrifice his life for a woman who gives him respect. I wouldn’t feel embarrassed at all. He probably became emotional because he had never heard a woman say that to him.
@@chanthana7694 I would not take that as being needy at all. On the contrary. I would take it as being vulnerable, which is good. Men and women should be vulnerable with each other in relationships. I feel that was a big issue with my ex wife. I was vulnerable, but she was not. Of course, men and women can survive on their own, but we need each other in relationships. Sometimes it is ok to put one’s pride aside and ask for help.
Thanks for not wasting my time. Any woman I date for relationship possibilities must be under age 25 and be in excellent physical and emotional health. All the rest are for entertainment and amusement only.
That's THE problem with most women today- you don't CARE what men actually want, it's nearly always all about what YOU want. If you read female dating profiles, they almost invariably consist of long lists of criteria and demands that any potential partner must fulfil. Very rarely do women divulge what, if anything they are going to bring into a man's life to enhance it. Most seem to think being female alone is all that is required. It's NOT men who have unreasonable demands, they can be summed up by the 3 F's= Fit, Friendly & Feminine. It's that simple.
I'll be 60 at the end of the month. I have no problem attracting men of all ages. That's not the problem. Edit: I'm an independent woman because I've had to be. Men can not be relied upon. From now on, I'm focused on the man that I'm on a date with, not worried about if he likes me or not. Do I like him? What is he doing that I don't like?
Yes, yes! Don't twist yourself into a pretzel trying to please anyone. That's the beauty of aging, I don't give a rip what others think about my looks. Also, I am thin thanks to celiac and lactose intolerance. I'm active and have always eaten healthy. Well, a lot of women who are overweight look at me with scorn. Believe me, going gluten-free (celiac is an autoimmune disease like lupus) is not a picnic.
A lot of men have told me that is a big turn off. I think how it's said and heard is a disconnect of interpretation. Women feel weak if they feel they need a man but they want one. And men want to make a woman's life easier and that makes them feel needed. Resonate?
I really appreciate this video! I’m in my early 60’s and recently realized why I’m alone. And as you mentioned, I’ve always been an independent woman. That’s it. It’s been many years since I’ve tried dating, but I would like to find a man to enjoy life with since I have discovered my “Turn off” I’m much softer now, but today’s dating is sooo scary. I’m going to put it as “Evil lurks” After my last attempt, 4 years ago I stopped looking. Your advice is absolutely correct for those who are still looking 💕
Don't give up! I promise there are still great men out there to date. Yes, we have to have some precautions, as has always been the case. If you need some guidance, schedule a Complimentary “Find Love After 50 Breakthrough Session" so we can discuss how this can happen for you. findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/
Wait. What? Being independent is a 'turn off"? You mean the fact that we are expected to pay 50% of everything despite earning less, work a full-time job, manage budgets and our own retirement funds.....but we're NOT supposed to be independent because it's a 'turn off"? Being independent means needing to be 'softer"? I'm very glad I have always been independent as my husband for 23 years often worked away from home, leaving everything to me to do. My independence also allowed me to act on my boundaries and standards and to walk away and buy my own home and be completely self supporting when his behaviour became unacceptable. We do not have to lose our ability to be independent when in a relationship. During the course of a healthy relationship you will each get an opportunity to be in the 'lead' position from time to time. Balance and respect......not deference.
@@l.5832 She doesn't say it, but maybe it's like Lisa said that you can come across like you don't need a man because you are independent and can do everything by yourself. Then why are you dating I would ask?
Sweetheart take one of your Prozac pills with your boxed wine feed your cat, and call your therapist. Nevermind, therapist never hold women accountable, they tell them all their problems are caused by the Patriarchy not their selfish feminist choices. Well at least do the patriarchy a favor and never date a man again... Disaster await s him if you do date him. Also, the Pay Gap is a myth that has been disproved by several leading economists. Women earn less because they avoid STEM jobs and women refuse to take dangerous outdoor jobs. Read Erin Pizzey.
@@kevinharrison3265 Still doing Gods work. Free speech isn’t valued here though. Typical of womens spaces and disregarding opposing views. Only group think allowed.
Women in this age group seem to be either angry or trying to heal from bad relationships or choices. Men in thier 50s are not looking for that kind of drama. Get help and heal before you start a relationship 🙏 God bless 🙏
Have had similar experience with a couple guys in this age range....seems it's an equal opportunity affliction. I refuse to play the app game, scanning a menu of cheap fare at a roadside greasy spoon expecting to find a gourmet meal. Prefer the old-fashioned strike up a conversation (or respond to a nice person who starts to chat with me) and see where it goes or doesn't.
@michelles2299 I agree that most men in that age group have major issues also. I'm single and in my early 50s. Most of the people in my age group have big mental health issues. They have been treated poorly and lied to by spouses. Many have chemical dependency and trust issues. The dating field is full of landmines. This has left the decent people lost in the forest trying to find each other.
@@russk1971I was married for 30 years, widowed, and went on dating apps after healing for a few years. I was shocked at the level of alcohol abuse and mental health issues amongst people online! If I meet someone in the wild, fine, but the apps have the low lying fruit.
As a man(60yo), I can't stress enough how pleasantly surprised and wonderfully refreshing it would be to hear my 1st date sit down, and immediately after ordering drinks say-- I know your time is as valuable to you as mine is to me . I need to be honest, I'm here because you caught my interest, and I want to learn more about you. My goal is to find a mate, and if you're ok with it, could we start by exchanging basic information about each other? That's my dream opener by a 1st date.😊
good communication is important to me and it’s amazing how many men have absolutely no interest in hearing what I am saying and basically their brain is not able to take in the reality of what I’m communicating and that is a real turn off
If men have no interest in what you are saying,try saying something different than what your saying. Or maybe listen more. If this seems to be a pattern perhaps your the problem
Right?! It's no wonder when women find themselves back on the dating scene after 50 they become defensive and bitter when what they encounter is this type of man leaving these types of comments.
To be fair. Men seldom are allowed to say what they think. Women immediately scold them. Better to hear what they have to say for once. I'm truly interested in hearing it.
I completely understand not posting photo shopped pictures of yourself and not misrepresenting yourself. At the same time, it seems that it would be really difficult to love yourself as you are when men are that concerned about your body type. 😕
You can 100% love yourself as you are regardless of what men think or are concerened with. And when women love and accept themselves fully, their vibration attracts a quality man who also loves and accepts them.
I’m a 63yr old Aussie mum who has absolutely zero interest in having another man in my life. I have my boys, my doggies , a few good friends and my wonderful family. Life is stress free, and I am still friends with my lovely ex husband. It was our stillborn daughter’s 27th birthday yesterday and he always rings me on that day. My boys and I went out to the cemetery and my ex lives in another state and was upset that he couldn’t come so asked for photos, which I sent him. I am just not good at being a wife or girlfriend but I am suited to being a mum, which is the best thing ever.
I'm 72 and been on a dating site for 2 weeks. I've gone through a couple of these advice videos on you tube. This is the best so far, with reasonable and practical advice. Thanks. BTW, you wouldn't happen to be single, would you?
Lisa, you definitely know us guys!! All 8 turn offs hit home. A while back I met a nice looking lady on Match, her photos showed her in the gym as thin as a model...really nice looking for a 65 year old gal, diffidently a 7+ on the Richter scale. So, we arranged to meet and when she exited her car I saw a woman with maybe 25 pounds more on her frame than her photos showed on Match...plus she smoked and in her profile she said she didn't ... Lisa, like you said, I was really concerned that if she would misrepresent herself this way, could she be trusted?!! Later that day, I texted her and wished her a goodbye - but I really did want to see her again. A different time and woman who told me her X husband had cheated on her with a girlfriend - not cool. Later in our first date, she told me I reminded her of her cheating spouse....I was speechless. Worried she was a drama queen, I also said adios to someone I would have been interested in. /eddy
Last woman I dated kept giving me unsolicited life advice. It's like she was clueless as to how disrespectful men find that to be. A guy would never dream of telling a new friend, "Hey, you know you should maybe spend some time getting into a deeper level of self reflection and awareness. I can just feel certain insecurities coming through." Or... "A little friendly advice, you need to just let your brother be is own man and not be so concerned about him." Side note.. my little brother is 100% disabled and completely dependent on his siblings. The relationship went no where. The final straw was how she kept on saying, over and over again, "I don't need a man for anything. I can take care of myself. I hate when guys want to take care of me." Then what the hell was she doing looking for a man? Yikes! Get me out of here! And yet here is the punch line: when I broke contact, she acted butt hurt and pestered me for quite some time. I just wanted her to go away.
I listened out of curiosity, and you hit the proverbial nail on the head. I am 55 and the last time that I was on a date, I was 39 years old. I had so many bad experiences that I no longer have any interest in dating or relationships.
Excellent tips for ladies from a 73-year-old male. I'm going to search for your top 8 turn-offs for women, as I'm sure I can use the tips. Count me as a new subscriber. Thanks, and well done!
I'm separated and going through the whole divorce thing. I agree with everything you said, but point 1 is what I look for now. Not just clothing though. I want to see the real person without all the prep. Too know who they are and if I can't see that I can't trust her fully. I saw a friend for the first time without any of her mask on and was really impressed even though she is always well presented. Just how I view it.
Thanks for your feedback Tom. Please share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these videos are made for. You already know all this stuff, lol!
No, it’s not “OK” to “hook up.” It’s immoral. And it’s absolutely fine to sit in judgment of things that need to be rightfully judged. The recreational sex culture that we find ourselves in has been horrifically damaging to society, and on an individual level. You don’t have to say it’s OK just so that you can come off as some kind of cool grandma or something. Secondly, as a man in his early 60s, I can tell you that the “strong independent woman” trope is a cope. It’s BS and a major turn-off.
Thank you for your feedback. I don't say anything to try to be cool. I'm speaking my own thoughts from the research I've done and working with many women over years. If this is not your cup of tea, I am perfectly OK with it. There are many other people on TH-cam where you might find videos more suited for you.
So I watched/listened to all of this and succeeded in reconfirming that I really don't want to be bothered with all of this. I'm so glad I'm happy to be living by myself and enjoying my retirement. Hah!
Nicely done. I would agree with these suggestions. Especially about drinking heavily. At this stage of our lives, we are all looking for red flags and drug/alcohol dependency is a problem none of us want to deal with in a new relationship.
I’m 46, so not quit 50. Lol. However, I have different reservations for posting full body pictures, or too many pictures in general. I have been very blessed with stereotypical attractive features. I’m 5’5 110lbs, size 0, 34DDD, 24 inch waist, long blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips, tan skin. Since middle school guys have only cared about me physically. I thought, as I grow up men would look deeper, they don’t. I can be talking about. Somethings so important to me that I’m very passionate about. And they will reply something like, you’re so hot. Umm ok. I know women think that life would be easier if they had certain features. Trust me, it’s not. No one cares at all about your thoughts or feelings. Sure the call you for a second date. But I won’t remember anything talked about. It’s like they just want to shell and don’t care about the insides. I would love for a guy to truly want to get to know me. To fall in love with my soul and my spirit.
Hello Lisa! I just happened to see your podcast while scrolling through my TH-cam channels . I am so glad I found you. What great advice for everyone, whether you’re looking to date again or just curious for perhaps down the road dating. I am so glad you offered mens point of views ESPECIALLY!! Being a woman, I love to know what men are really saying and thinking about on their first date. I find it very interesting that men and women lie about their age, weight, appearance, etc when eventually you’re going to meet that individual that you’re interested in. I’ve always thought too, is that , if you lie about those things, what else did you lie about? I know we all have our insecurities and it’s very difficult to be vulnerable AND facing those fears of rejection isn’t easy . Why is it so hard for us to accept that the only person may not like us WHEN we ourselves don’t always like THAT other person ourselves? Why is it ok to REJECT? BUT NOT TO BE REJECTED? Isn’t it so funny!! Dating AT ANY AGE is FULL OF sometimes heartbreaking, emotional, embarrassing, funny, humiliating , and YET GREAT LEARNING EXPERIENCES, IF we actually focus on the “learning part”!!! ???? I look forward to watching more of your work on this subject. Thank you for sharing all of this information with us! 👍👏🙏💪
A good friend met the love of her life on Eharmony. She is over the moon and is having so much fun with him. I am so happy for her but lack the cojones to put myself "out there". I haven't even been on a coffee date in about 4 years, after I broke up with an abusive partner. I worry that men will see my photo and find me unattractive. Also, I have chronic leukemia. I'm not sure how or when to disclose this. If I include on a profile, no one will contact me. On the other hand, not disclosing having a potentially life-ending disease seems dishonest and unethical. It doesn't outwardly affect me (I don't look like someone with cancer, whatever that is!), but it's slowly catching up. At this point, I would enjoy having adventures with someone other than my girlfriends (though I love them dearly), and have someone to look forward to seeing when I'm not working.
@@feliciasampson8032 It is best not to put anything on your profile that makes you a target for abusers or scammers. Maybe in your first private message to each guy, let him know that there is a health issue to reveal. If he disappears, then he wasn't a good match. Make your profile look happy and positive (but 100% honest). Negativity is the number 1 turn-off for the good guys :)
Hello everyone! Please leave a questions about dating in 50's below this comment and I'll answer them!❤
As an overweight widowed woman in my late 60s, I have accepted that men are just not going to be interested in me, no matter what my stellar qualities are as a human being. I moved away from where I'd lived for 20 years and joined many meetups -- and found that the men in these groups interpreted just saying hello as hitting on them. And because I am short, more than just a few pounds overweight, and not beautiful (no matter how I put myself together), I was rejected even as someone to converse with. I instead built a vibrant social life of women friends, and while I often wish I had someone close, it is easier to accept not having that and be with people who DO accept me than to twist myself into pretzels trying to fit some unattainable standard of attractiveness. I've made my peace with that about 80% of the way and working on that last 20%.
Great to hear that. I’ve chosen the same path for myself. I’m tall and relatively average weight, but just sick of the games. So I enjoy my life without them. We all have different reasons, so I pull for you for that last 20%! 👍😊
Bright blessings on you girl!
I hate to bust their big head, but just because a woman talks to you doesn’t mean they want you! Sometimes we just want to talk. I’ve even asked a few guy friends and they said they do think like that. Those guys are probably missing some great friendships ♥️
@@anitanapp6759 🎯‼🎯🎯🎯💯💯
Lots of hugs your way. You are AMAZING!
Dating is simply not worth it. Find your own self worth and spend time with friends. Skip all of the lies, the drama and bs. Stay single and happy.
Sir, you are so so right. Its not worth it at all. No value added to my life at this point.
I quit dating and got a dog. Now I have great friends.
It can be highly overrated indeed, and solitude and a life outside of dating is highly underrated. Many people are terrified to be alone and it’s a recipe for disaster, especially if kids are in the picture.
I totally agree!! I love being single. No drama, no worries.
Being alone and finding fulfillment with your own company is amazing. Sharing your interests with a companion is also wonderful. Whatever you choose, may it be fulfilling.
1) Don’t wear shape wear. 2) Don’t disparage ex. 3) Post current photos of you. 4) Tell truth about your age. 5) Don’t make a man your pet project. 6) Let man take care of you 7) Don’t drink much on first date. 8) Don’t wear very revealing clothing unless you want sex right then 9) Be kind to men who write you online.
Thanks for sharing your list!
You think revealing clothes is as statement of sexual availability. FO back to 1951, you uneducated Neanderthal. I don’t dress for men!
Thanks! I was scrolling hoping someone summarised.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach You did not notice that it was your list summarized? Not his list. I hope your comment was intended as a wink or humorous because otherwise it does not bode well for your analytical skills.
Men are wary that women see them as ATMs
67 and extremely happy being alone. I’m alone but not lonely!
That's great!
Well, also 67, still working full time, and love having my home to myself. I have a few friends and plenty of family. Yeah, loneliness isn't a thing. Anything I want to do, I go do. My bucket list is short and uncomplicated. Having said all that, my actual comment was to be that I find it hilarious that Robert and I each clicked on this video!!🤣 (Curious minds....)
Get kitties
Me too 😊
@@SchoolofPages Dogs are my solution!
I'd say 80% of women that I met misrepresented themselves. Lied about age (very common), height, body type, interests, kids, even marital status. It's bad enough when someone says they are divorced when they are just separated, but I met women who said they were divorced when they were really living with their husbands and just "emotionally separated". Add in shape altering attire, heavy makeup, hair extensions, and God knows what else and it's easy to develop trust issues.
Hey Mag Steel, I think this goes both ways with men and women feeling deceived by the opposite sex. Sadly, I feel that comes from fear of making yet another BIG MISTAKE. So appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
@@Lisaann268 I didn't think it was fear of a mistake. I felt it was just that people are lonely and want some attention, affection,and validation. I've always been really honest on my dating profiles but unfortunately honesty isn't the best marketing strategy.
100% truth that 95% of women lie 90% of the time...
I've had the same experience. Many of the women showed up 40 lbs or more heavier than their photo and more than 70% lied about age
Get Your Passport Bro 🛂
I am 54 year old man.
My feeling for woman has deffinetly changed.
I fall in love with their natural body, the way she thinks,the way she sees, the sound of her voice, the way she makes me feel.
The sum of all those characteristics turns my heart on.
The body shape is beutiful but not the main ingredient.
Good day to you all!!
Thank you for being a great, wise and respectful man. Have a great day!
That's so nice to hear 😊
Thank you! It’s wonderful to hear from an actual man about men’s views!
@@Jan-qv8ku I dont believe you and Im going to call you out for your comment Jan because you and women like you are the reason over 50 year old men are RUNNING from women like you. You see over 50 bitter women like you throw in the insult that poor old Alfredo is in capable of copping onto, there are lots of lonely simps like Alfredo out there but he does not represent masculine men and he most certainly is not an " actual" man as you try and thrown shame onto other men. Have you seen Alfredo Jan? How do you know he is not an obese man living with his other after his 2nd divorce? Now he may not be but if he was?.... do you still consider him an " Actual man" or do you recognise the bitterness and resentment in your own comment? What you think is so wonderful is the empty validation you just got from a total online stranger. " The sum of all those parts turns my heart on"......... is that even the words of an actual man? Jan? let me ask you something, are.... are you Alfredo? Do you have two email accounts? Because if I had a make friend who spoke like Alfredo does or said such a cringe comment in the company of other men they would first laugh and then vomit and its entirely likely one of the men would slap Alfredo for such cringe thinking. At least Jan thats what an " actual" man would do and been a man I know better than you what a man is and what a man should be and CUCK no 1 Alfredo is not it I assure you.
Alfredo, I think its fair to say you dont hang out with a lot of " actual" men and your comment is an embarrassment to our sex quite honestly.
I'm a man in my mid sixties, just looking at dating again having lost my wife to multiple sclerosis three years ago. It's hard to live without a partner after almost forty years, but it's equally hard I think, to realistically consider dating again, after all those years actually dedicated to one woman. All these eight things are very real and I believe well addressed.
I am sorry for your loss. Forty years is a long time. I, too, am in my mid-60’s and single by choice after an unhappy marriage.
For me, putting aside the phrase “dating partners” and substituting this with “seeking new friends” as my goal keeps me focused on what I’d like - a deep friendship then maybe a relationship. This removed a lot of pressure!
@@lesliemontagne6797 Yes, you have the right idea! I met my man 5 years ago and we have just moved in together. We have lived next door to each other the past 3 years before I would agree to take the next step
Man, get a hobby or 3. I'm 67, widowed (8 years), and pretty content with my life.
Maybe try dating women you've actually met in real life. One thing to keep in mind; women get rude is that we get tired of all of the inappropriate and disgusting messages we are inundated with on a daily basis. Women - yes even older women - get rude, overly intrusive, and sometimes even just gross messages from men all the time. Whether online or in person, how you approach a woman matters. A lot of women are less receptive to messages from any man after they've just sifted through dozens of distasteful messages. Honestly, I think that online dating has ruined the relationship experience for a lot of people. If you are really looking for someone to connect with, I find it best to meet people during the activities you are already doing. If you go hiking or participate in a club or organized activity of some kind, you will meet people with whom you already have a shared interest to bond over. You will see women in their true form - not over-dressed for a date, and you will already see some of their interactions with other people to know if you are even interested in the first place. Don't give up on love. Just go out there and meet real women in real situations like you did when you were younger - before all this inline match-making nonsense got started.
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for your feedback and much luck to you on your dating journey.
I have been divorced for seven years, now; and in that time, I have not seen one man, that I would care to date. I am way past 50, and most men in my age group, just want someone to take care of them. You know, those 8 points that you are talking about, well, those 8points, go both ways. I have been very happy, these past years , and I do the things that I really want to do. Stay single ladies. As we get older, it's the best thing that we can do for ourselves.
Amen, girl. At almost 60, my days of worrying over whether I’m doing what a man wants are OVER
A 101 year old woman said that was the reason she lived so long. lol. But, when you have a good man in your life, life can be a lot more fun and its good to know someone has your back.
Being single is awesome and I can't even imagine catering to a man any more.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach the only fun thing I miss is sex (which is fun and I do miss it) but the rest I can get by myself or with my sisters and friends and my life isn’t an eternal compromise - by which of course I mean he does what he wants and I do what he wants
Men everywhere agree that old women should remain single.
I cannot believe why a woman or a man would lie about age, weight and height. If you lie for things that are easily discoverable, you will lie for everything.
We feel the same about men doing the same things. Red flags 🚩🚩🚩
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoachShe did say women AND men.
100% I don't understand it either, better if anything to understate yourself and save a bit of wow factor for when you do meet.
I once thought about lying about my age, but quickly realized I would have to change important details of my life story. It would not be one lie but hundreds.
@adrianred236 you are right! It reminded me when I used an online dating site years ago and being new, I put my body type average, which, in fact, wasn't. I was more athlete at that time. I didn't do this on purpose as I never saw myself as an athletic type.
So, I went on a date with this guy who was quite nice and said, "You aren't average." You are perfect and quite athletic. It was a happy moment for me, actually.
Be yourself and happy with yourself. You will attract others. My husband and I married when he was 60 (on our honeymoon) and I was 63. He is a Pastor and we are both strong Christians. We met on Christian Mingle and met in person within a couple weeks. We didn’t worry about doing or saying anything. We were just ourselves. Our first date lasted 10 1/2 hours, ending at 10 p.m. We had wonderful conversation and did some fun things. We met in June, were engaged in July, and married in November. We have been married almost 10 years now. We both retired and a year a half ago packed up, sold our home and moved to the Florida panhandle. We are involved in many Church activities and my husband is now an interim Pastor and we sing together at Services.
There IS hope for anyone looking to meet someone.
This is so inspiring! Thanks for sharing your stories!
happy for you, you find the right person at the right time, but the odds are against most of us after 60
@@michaelsix9684- Thank you. Hope is still out there. You may have to do something out of your comfort zone - like internet dating. However, it can happen. I should mention my husbands 1st wife had passed away at age 56, and my husband suffered from mental illness and sin & chose to leave me to move back home with his mother.
Great comment, thank you for sharing your story! God bless you and your husband 🙏
@@michaelsix9684 the odds are hard but also if you put a lot of effort in, that really improves your chances!
Just be yourself and if it clicks, it clicks. If it doesn't, move on. Yes, it's *that* simple.
🧡
I am a good catch, but you can't have me. 😮
10000% SELF HONESTY IS NOT PURCHASABLE WITH SEX SPREADS FROM AN OLD JAR.
I met a woman many years ago who said she was separated but was still living in the same house as her ex.That was it for me.
Glad you walked away from that.
Why?
No way. 😮
@@PerrySkyePhoenix If for no other reason that you can't go to her place. And you don't know to what extent she really is "separated".
I'm male and have long been aware of the insane pressure that women live under to look like this, not like that, speak like this not like that and so on and so on. It's like women are living in some bizarre dictatorship that exists in a parallel to the world that men live in. To be honest, I'm tired of it. I am bombarded by the same advertising, the same pressure and the same insistence about what women 'have to be' - it's just that none of it is directed at me. It sometimes feels like I'm living in a toxic soup. Let's just let women of all ages enjoy being themselves for goodness sake. And let me enjoy it too.
Well said, and so very true!
Bullshit and Ill tell you why. What you just explained is a womans issue and has nothing to do with men whatsoever. Women dont dress up for men, they dress up for each other. No man ever looked at a woman in nice jeans, shirt, boots and a little make up and said " No thanks" provided she was fit and healthy. The toxic soup you describe is a toxic soup made by and for women. But men have the same toxic soup again made for women but directed at men and that toxic soup is one of expectation of a financial ability to provide for a family for life and with a divorce rate of 55% the financial ability to provide for a family in divorce too even though 81% of divorces are filed by women. So your comment is somewhat accurate but your simping out of the reason because you are afraid to hold women accountable. Its women who have done this to other women.
So do men with being over 6 feet, making 6 figures, living in an expensive mansion and etc...
Pressure goes both ways. When you do your thing then women of all ages want the top men and rest of the men ard invisible.
Its sink or swim. Pressure is on everyone!
Namaste’👏👏👏
80% are Overweight & 80% of those women are OBESE....these women are undateable.....but yet these same women demand perfection from a man....& he of course has to be rich to support her lifestyle....
Where are women getting this shapewear That makes it look like you have a whole different figure? I have been buying the wrong kind 😂😂😂
😂 You're a funny gal, Melissa!
Me too. I need it for work
I was wondering myself....😂
Right? I wish.😜
Atleast its not a moo moo or pants. They think lip gloss is make up. How boring.
Where do you buy shapewear that improves your looks that much?? I’m going to that store!! Lol
lol
Too hard to wear that stuff- it doesn’t really change your appearence anyway
The fitness store is where you find Shapeware that works😂
I personally find that todays women on the dating seen are very materialistic, hypocritical, argumentative, combative, independent in the sense of acting masculine. They also have a list that really unrealistic in what they want in a man. To me dating nowadays is like a comedy show. All I ask in a woman is, your actions are stronger than your words, feminine, peaceful, smart, loyal, trustworthy and have integrity
Sorry this has been your experience. I can assure you there are plenty of quality women that do not possess those characteristics looking for Quality Men to date. Please share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who this video is made for. Good luck!
what a surprise -- these are women who are products of feminist programming and a toxic culture, with age they don't improve
Kevin Samuels did videos on this, older women in his view were too hard to be around and this is why men don't want them
Absolutely... Most modern Anerican women are extremely unrealistic.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach Yes I do believe there are good women out there but I have been dating a lot and it’s slim Pickens out there
I`m amazed at how much of this advice is targeted at online dating. In my experience the best way to find good partners is by joining activity groups that reflect your interests (classes, sports groups or gyms, cooking clubs or similar). Attraction is important, but it is only part of the matrix for a sucessful long term relationship; if you start off with lots of things in common, you can weather any number of problems, as you will be friends as well as romantic partners. Also in an interest based environment you can take longer to observe and get to know the person without the pressure of them projecting romantic aspirations onto you, and vice versa.
Meeting in real life is an idea way to meet someone because you are seeing both what they look like along with their personality which can make them attractive in a way online dating can't. The advantage of online dating is the majority on there are single. THat's hard to tell in real life.
Pheromones are an important part of attraction, as well as eye contact and of course personality. I agree that your suggestions offer more possibilities of meeting people but it's just hard for the introverts though. We are not much on joining groups and initiating conversations.
Amen.
Very true!
One guy I met online showed up completely bald and about 50 pounds heavier at 37. His photo was obviously from 10 or 15 years before. It was shocking when I met him in person. I went ahead with the date because I didn’t want to be rude. But it made me angry because the photo was a misrepresentation of who he actually was.
Dang, if I was in your shoes I'd be angry too and probably would have ended it right then. I no longer have tolerance for liars. If that's rude, so be it
Women also see a lot of misrepresentation in online dating apps. I can completely understand your disappointment.
I was on a dating site fifteen years ago, my pictures were current I bought more dinners than Michael winner!! Women do this as well ten years out of date photos three stones heavier. Some of them were still married, one I met wanted me to beat her ex boyfriend up as he fiddled her out of a load of money. I told her at the end of the night your looking for a Hitman not a boyfriend!! I did meet two out of probably a hundred that I had a relationship with first one was absolutely stunning petite trendy but she had borderline personality disorder had to let her go her jealousy was overbearing. Second one I lived with for seven years very classy lady, were still friends
@@peterbalac1915What went wrong after you lived with the second one 7 years?
That’s been happening for years and will continue. People can’t help themselves.
In my 50's I found myself single again and dating women about my age. Perhaps the biggest turn off was over-share. They quite often filled me in on relationship, financial, and health problems they had and/or were still having. Some of them went on and on, with no intention of going on a second date. I'm a good listener, so I take some of the blame, but it's not like I'm pumping them for this info. Early on I took it as a sign they felt comfortable with me and I was making progress. Eventually I realized they just liked to talk about themselves. And don't mind that a virtual stranger now knows they had a sexless marriage, hysterectomy and a boob job.
TMI for sure. That goes both ways. Men do that too. Have you ever tried changing the subject?
Most dates turned out well enough that I was interested in a second one. Only 3 that I can remember (out of maybe 70-80 over a 9 year period) were so boring I wished them luck and went my way. Slightly over half turned down a rematch. But I am re-married and off the dating-go-round now. We are always looking for friends, though. Close friends, if you know what I mean.
You are a good listener, but are you a good conversationalist? Direct the conversation towards another topic.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach women talk, WAY more than men do.....don't try to shift the blame....
I like all of this. I'm 73 and I stopped dating years ago, because even at my age, men seem to be looking for sex over relationships. I'm also sick of the "must be slender and have your own teeth" ads from men, then you get a picture of them and they have a big fat belly! I'm overweight, don't have all my own teeth and don't drink. smoke, or have sex really quickly. All of that seem to be turnoffs for men, or at least the ones I used to attract. Also, a lot of men my age have numerous health problems, and I don't want to be a hospice wife. I just think at some point, it's time to give up on dating and settle in to loving your own company.
Also 73yrs old, couldn't agree with you more! I'm happy to be happy with myself. I am not looking for someone to take care of in the last time I have here! And I certainly don't want to be involved with anyone that will only turn out to be a disappointment. 🤨
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's really important to prioritize your happiness and comfort, and if that means enjoying your own company, then that's perfectly valid
most women are overweight....i guess they don't care what they look like...? & we all know, they don't want sex.....
I like younger men. I like sex, but there needs to be friendship... not into casual hookups.
@@PerrySkyePhoenix i like your answer...when you care about the other person, it makes it a LOT better....problem is, finding that person...
I'm 64 and loving it. Totally accept myself the way i am and don't feel the need to impress anyone. First dates can be awkward: be yourself, be optimistic with an open mind. My biggest turn off is someone more attached to his phone than trying to talk to me! Don't misrepresent yourself online and show up being someone quite different.
Love this about you!!!!! And the phone is an issue both ways. Very disrespectful unless its an emergency.
im 60. love being single. who wants a guy talking non stop about his deceased wife his wrinkles. his health problems. ugh.
Absolutely! More & more people are becoming "addicted" looking at their cell phones. Talking face to face, it makes us feel INVISIBLE when the guy is scrolling & texting at length more than once, in front of us! Next time... I'm walking out. Don't care? Buh-bye, adios!
My daughter went on a first date with a man who got a call on the way to the restaurant and kept talking as they entered. The hostess asked "How many?" K. said "Two, and a cell phone." He still didn't get it. There was no second date.
@tracyhoward8228 not all are like him
I'm 61 in beach pic, fit and very active
I have found too many women that are unhappy or unsure of themselves. Much less of this, usually, as we get older but there are few bigger tunrnoffs than being unhappy or unsure of yourself. Self confidence and a smile goes a long way.
I have heard it from men though, they would rather a humble woman who has some insecurities and they would rather deal w/ some building her up, than a woman who is full of herself and is intolerable and demanding.
To all you single ladies making comments, god bless you coz I feel the same as a single divorced man. I have inner peace with myself and being single and I still love and respect women. Once one gets past 60, male or female think more about yourself and your happiness instead of people around you, bottom line treat ALL people with respect and dignity❤❤
Focusing on self-care and happiness while treating everyone with respect is truly important. Much love and respect to you! ❤❤
I agree...but Taylor Swift just called!
Absolutely agree. As we get older, we mellow. Nothing else matters but be happy, be yourself, be healthier and be at peace with yourself. Have fun in your own way in any shape, size or form that suits you best, even the simplest thing in life is also fun and learning to connect my body and mind in whatever activity is therapeutic and enjoyable as well.
REAL SATISFACTION IS THE ATHEIESTIC PAYINGS IT FORWARD, TO HUMANS. SELF- TIME-SPEND LIKE THOSE VONUNTEERS OF "NOT FOR THEMSELVES" PROFITS! MUSIC.... AND SHE TRYING TO BUY HER WAY TO H EAVEN?
Because of rule 8 (trying to date women , that is), I have completely ended any form of dating. I am shocked by the lack of no basic manners , rudeness & so direct with no warmth. So you are turned off from the complete beginning. Then the attitude of not wanting to write anything about themselves (probably because they are engaging with so many men) , then lastly using the old pics. I have been single for 4 years. My life is really good (as good as it can be being alone) & now feel that it is more trouble than what it is worth. Now I am shocked / surprised in finding out in last 2 months that this is a common trend & see all the TH-cam channels on men opting out. My 2 cents worth .
Thanks for your feedback and sorry that has been your experience. Fortunate for the women I work with, we are finding plenty of quality men for them to date and creating meaningful relationships for both women and men. Please be sure to share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these are made for!
you are so right,
100% with you brother.
face it guys, you're looking at the leftovers, misfits, or losers now -- with RARE exceptions most women 50 plus are no longer suitable date or partner material, late Kevin Samuels said it many times -- he said "older women are just too damn difficult to be around and that is why men their age don't want them"
Agreed, there's a reason Redpill and Mgtow now exist. Also there's only one for men and there is none for women. The fact it is expanding in all country's and not just one isolated (cultural) one e.g USA. Means the problem men see in women is worldwide which is interesting. Another interesting thing is Redpill creator's say " we don't recruit...they find us"
Good advice, remember we are all just people with feelings and a past, being kind goes a Really long way.
So so true. 🙏🏽
@Linl I like the sea for snorkeling but but beaches not so much, mountains much better imho, a good walk up in the fresh air with fantastic views.
@Linl love sunrise and sunset of the sea, when I'm on holiday I often get up before sunrise to see it, sets me up for the day.
So many places in the world to experience, personally I like the Greek islands for.beachy type holidays with some exploring etc, Chamonix is good in summer and for skiing too.
Living by the beach was always my wish for retirement, some people say they get bored though and don't end up going to the beach much, do you find that?
I had this great date with this lady I met online who was clearly very interested in me. On our third date over a candle light dinner she said she hates "Trump supporters", finds them sickening and racist. I ended our relationship b/c she had such hatred for people who disagree with her.
It's important both men and women are clear on the values they are looking for in their partner and stick with it, as well as become the person they want to be with. Good on you endng a relationship that had no future for you. Please share this with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these videos are made for. Thanks!
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach I am very progressive and seek someone who has similar values. I am also non-religious. Common values are a huge factor in relationships working out according to many professionals. John and Julie Gottman are psychologists so check them out.
Must be 6ft tall, 6 figue income, 6 pack abs, own his own house, be attractive, be single, own his own car, pay for everything, not be conservative or be a Trump supporter and the list goes on. By the time their requirement list is complete, less than 1% of men meet all requirements. They will remain alone while waiting for their unicorn to show up.
Well looks like she likes only democrats
Its important these days. I would too. Not as optional as it was
Turn off #8 - Be kind. When I was actively looking for dates on dating sites, my practice was to respond to the women I was interested in, and then offer a small forgiveness practice for each of the women I didn't respond to, because everyone is a beautiful and sacred soul and is deserving of that honor even if I didn't feel they were what I was looking for. Women get many more matches on these dating sites, so it may be a group honoring might be a better way to go. Anyway, I found a beautiful match and I am truly grateful for all the women who were presented to me on those sites!
I love your forgiveness practice and your gratitude. Qualities like those make for great partners so it is no wonder you found a beautiful match. Much luck to you both!
Wishing you both the best! You sound like the rare gem of the dating world. Many blessings!
Perfect response, David. Good for you 😊
Very good advice. I've always been single and am not into dating anyone. I recently heard someone who advise couples dating to find someone to marry, defining chemistry as someone you are comfortable with. If you can't present yourself as you are to someone, you are not comfortable. I would add: go somewhere you can really talk and get to know a person. Too much drinking is also a huge turn off to me as a woman as it is to a man . In fact, it's a deal breaker. Also if you are not over an ex, you are not ready to meet anyone new.
Yep, it has been many years since having a date. Life got in the way first, then where I call home does not have what I am looking for. Everyone needs a match with chemistry and being a certain way has nothing to do with it. You either have it (with the polish and flow) or you don’t. As we age we learn what to invite in or what to leave behind. If there is no contrubribution, no need to be there. An example, from my prospective, I had a relationship with a nice lady, educated, lots of money, good looking but something was just off. Turned out she had medical issues that you just could not live with. It takes time to not leave the remains of a tornado behind. I quit looking and I say, I do not need a woman but It still would be nice. it is a new day so smile and help others you see in your walk today!
Two turn-offs: him pointing out all the other women in the room who are so much better looking, and talking about his medical problems. I've been on dates with men who have done both of these...and it didn't lead to a second date!
@@feliciasampson8032smart. No second dates there. If a man you are out on a first date with is pointing out the better looking women in the room…run..don’t walk to the nearest exit. That man is not there for anything serious or lasting and is very shallow in my never to be humble opinion.
@@feliciasampson8032you dodged a bullet. Why waste time with someone that disrespects you like on the first date? You deserve bettered, much better.
@@k-mac5511I think I've dodged several bullets. Maybe they feel the same about me!
I stopped dating after I broke up with someone in 2020.
Who cares about dating when you are a senior? I know I sure don't, if my husband passes before me I will be content on my own.
LIfe changes when you're single and both men and women feel lonely but . . . I have friends who have been in very long marriages that feel the same way as you.
1. Authenticity is key
2. Don't bash your Ex - men are wired to fix but feel inadequate if unable to
3. Post current pics representing yourself as you are including best version within the year
4. Men are okay with their lifestyle and resent changing to fit yours, accept them as they are or they will resent you
5. Let him lead by taking "action" over words by accepting help from a man,
let him DO for you what you can do for yourself by stepping back so he can step forward ~ create space for him to step up.
He wants to lighten your load by doing things for you, even the things he knows you can do or are capable of doing
6. Wear flattering clothing but not revealing too much
7. Be kind rejecting men online, you're "not a fit" but wish them well
Thanks for summarizing! Much appreciated 😊
Beautifully said.
I resent changing my lifestyle, too. Don't change to please these entitled jerks!
Never dated via an app; always initiated anything in person. Married a woman after I saw her on beach/SCUBA dates… I saw exactly what I was dating! Ultimately, once attracted… personality with common interests and some differences was key… with political and religious compatibility being crucial.
Thanks for your feedback. Please be sure to share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these are made for!
Me neither. Scared of meeting crazies or those anyone would reject
GREAT match. Best to y'all.
The reason to be authentic is because you need to be ok with yourself if there’s going to be hope for a healthy relationship. If you are insecure, hiding yourself psychologically, emotionally, or physically, it’s a red flag unfortunately. The same goes for not dealing with your issues because we don’t want to be punished for what someone else did in the past.
Wise words that I feel go both ways. Thank you for sharing them.
I’ve been divorced for 15 years and haven’t been able to find a quality man. The ones I’ve dated were just interested in sex. I like sex but need the emotional component. I want to spend time with a man and get to know them before becoming physical. I’d love someone to go out with, travel with, spend time with, and be intimate with.
It is possible. Don't give up. If ever you want to try something new, let's get on a call to help you break through: www.findaqualityman.com/talktolisa
Are you looking for a unicorn in a goat herd, A man like you are looking for will have to be made over time with love and understanding . Good luck.
Many of the women I've met on first dates have shown up heavier than their photos and have lied about their age. Needless to say there was no second date.
It happens for both men and women, sadly.
Thanks for watching my video. Please share with your single lady friends over 50 as this is who these videos are made for. Thanks!
Men are the same
not surprised
The correct HR term to use is, they showed up robust and rotund and ready to rumble.
My sister met a guy online and had a full head of hair, but the guy who showed up is bald.
As a 53yo guy, I highly recommend you just listen to your 50+ yo old single mother friends who tell you you that you can have any man you want, how’s that worked for you so far? Misery loves a friend ladies! Your single friends are, in reality, your worst advice, but hey, I’m a man, what would a man possibly know about what a man desires?
Thanks for your feedback Nicko. That's why I'm hear to guide women over 50. Much luck in your dating journey!
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach but your message is ....hating men....you women are always right....& men ae always the problem....keep hating us & we can keep hating you....
Men always want younger women. And with the new crop of single desperate younger women wanting sugar daddies or other pay for play action, retirement aged women would be better served by living together and looking after themselves in a woman cooperative living arrangement. Or ladies enjoy being a grandmother or matriarch in your families. Dating men your age is a pipe dream! I'm 62, a widower, in good shape both physically and financially. I'm not going to date women my age, the effort isn't worth the results. I'm enjoying my peace. Alone but not lonely.
A lot less than you might think.
I love your comments because as a retired widower (40 years) who just back into 'dating' a year ago @74yo, it has been very hard, and many of the women I met have displayed 2+ of your turnoffs, especially the age factor (although I'm quite fit and active). One you didn't mention is asking how much I make/my worth - that one gets a "Thank you, Bye!"
Unfortunately our generation is not one where the woman takes the first step - or if they do, I'm out of the pool.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I agree with you about financial matters. At our age, ideally our financial planning has come to fruition and the last thing we need is a dependent whose healthcare expenses become our responsibility should we marry.
Yah left out when a women says, "My kids come first....looking for a real man that can treat me and my fantastic 20 something year old kids the way we deserve". And she expects the 1st date to be a dinner at a $$$$ restaurant.
Both men and women deserve to be treated with respect. Thanks for your feedback. Please be sure to share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these are made for!
Isn't this what online dating is about? I'm so skeptical...don't people ever meet in other ways?
lots of retired women in Florida do this to get free meals
The foodie call is killing dating
@@michaelsix9684oh come on, you can't be serious. 😂
This sucks. I wish I married my college boyfriend. Dating at this stage is a nightmare.
Hi Nancy, it doesn't have to be that way. Please continue watching more of my videos, and if you would like to get more clarity, apply for a Complimentary Find Your Mr. Right Breakthrough Session: findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/ with me.
You got that right. Finding most men want women their GRAND DAUGHTERS age even though they look ridiculous and have to pay for them to keep their attention
I hit 30 and stopped approaching. Part of it was I got tired of asking. Part was I began to resent it and the way I was treated just for asking.
I don't find women over 30 attractive and I want children.
So I'm calling it quits. Like most men these days.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach so you spread your hate message & con women out of their SS money....how nice of you...
@@teresacroft7409 you're drunk....get off the sauce teresa
I agree that men need to know they are needed. But, as a female who has been on her own since college- never married or lived with a man. I have to do all on my own - don't have a choice. People tell me I give off 'I don't need you vibes'. Well it's hard not to when I have to rely on myself. If my current reality is being single and something needs to be done, I can't just wish for Mr. Helper to magically appear. Although if the funds are available I'm sure there is a Mr. Helper I could pay😅
Thanks for sharing your experience. Many women fall under this category, specially after divorce. We just have to get things done ourselves. It's definitely a learning curve.
Agree totally. You do what you must to survive.
women can be feminine looking and masculine acting. Men notice this and usually just mentally cross those women off for serious consideration as mates. But for recreational use, those women are good enough. But it's always the mans fault, that damned patriarchy, right?
Most men will offer to help if asked in a sincere manner. Be thankful and let him know he is appreciated. Take him out for dinner as a means of thanking him.
@louismalik518 Yes - maybe I need to be less hesitant/fearful of asking for help. Thank you.
These are very good tips, and they apply to both men and women of all ages. A number of those turnoffs for men are the same turnoffs for women (lying, misrepresentation, bitterness towards exes and people who rejected them, and trying to change the other person).
I would approach rejection with caution. I’ve had experiences where I explained that we weren’t a good match, and sometimes the man reacted very poorly. Either it degraded into insulting me (“I didn’t think you were all that anyway. I was just being nice.”), or there were underlying threats of violence. Don’t worry - I blocked them, and for those who threatened violence, I reported them.
Yes agree with you 100%. Same applies for both genders.
And when men react poorly...just further proof that you are making the right decision. It's too bad they get so triggered, but that is their work to do.
Yes, I agree, it applies to both sexes, including the insults and threats when, rejected. Been there multiple times.
Reported them to who?
To those men who can't handle rejection, tell them "Thanks for proving my point"! Their reaction confirms your good judgement. I've only ever had one woman do that to me, so I guess it's more common with male egos? I think the "pet project" issue is more commonly applied by women?
@@Gypsygirl9 The social media platform where the person reached out. If the threats of violence and harassment hit too close to home, I involved my local authorities. I had one guy use the internet to find my address, and he decided to send the police to my house for a wellness check because I ignored his messages. I knew it was him because he followed up with a message the next day letting me know how good he felt to know that I was okay. I had to let the police know about it and also involve the authorities where he was located.
I’m 70 and since becoming a widow 8 years ago I’ve dated very little so it’s all good such information! I definitely need your advice!
Hi Emily. Thanks for watching and for your feedback. Check out my many TH-cam videos on dating advice. There is a wealth of information on my channel. And if you're ready, schedule a complimentary dating consultation with me: findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/
You got this! Believing in you!
Good for you, Emily !!!!!
My personal experience is that at 62, I take my bachelorhood as a statement of my character. I just retired, house is paid for and my two adopted boys are out and productive and don't need me for support any more. I thought having a good job, good income and a home would be attractive, but I spent too much time working and not enough socializing. Men, make time for romance and looking for a wife or you can end up secure and alone. Be forgiving and open. All I have is a cat and a YMCA membership and travel. Not as good as someone who cares.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's never too late to make time for romance and seek out companionship!
It's too hard to find a quality wife....Women don't want a quality partner...they want someone they can control, take his money & his house....& of course, there will be NO sex...
@@stevegaines-vq3bdnot true for all. I personally am just looking for a partner to enjoy my free time with.
I wouldn't listen to Steve the jaded. I'm 56 and I'm looking for companionship w/ a kind and gentle natured man. I would like to spoil someone a bit and have them want to spoil me a bit. I miss making meals together and just simple things like taking care of the home together. Going for walks, a nice drive to a little burg to walk around and find a homey diner. Some women are looking for simple things. Someone we can get along w/, ease the loneliness and make each others lives fuller and richer.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 i admit, i am fed up w/ all the misandry from women....
Very accurate. Good to hear from a woman. So many woman are totally wrong about what men want and what men think.
Thank you for your feedback.
I think your list was wonderful. I'm at a place where I've pretty much given up. I haven't dated in many years - and honestly doubt that will change. The dating world has changed in the extreme - It's not like it was (imo - that's a real shame)
I'm glad the list was helpful. My clients are finding love online. It is possible!!!!
Thank you, Lisa, this is very good advice. My wife and I have been married for decades and she has several unmarried lady friends that look up to her because of our long-term relationship. One little tid-bit of wisdom she shares with them is that the love of a woman for a man will never make him change. It's the love of the man for that woman that creates the desire for him to change. Thanks again.
Congratulations on your decades of marriage. You're so right, the change a man makes, comes from his own desire to make that change. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Well said August
@@paula-pw7yd thank you Paula. I’ll share with my wife your regards.
Re: shapewear, I propose the following: I'll leave the shapewear in my lingerie drawer if bald guys leave the baseball caps at home. Deal?
Sounds like a deal. lol
Translation - a head of hair defines a man's value, given it is something genetic that cannot be controlled or changed, but being obese is just fine and nothing to put any effort into.
@@LisaMedeiros-tr2lz Wow, your sarcasm is definitely a choice. I presume men don't like women who wear shapewear because they feel it's a form of deception; ie, a woman's not presenting herself as she really is. I feel similarly about men who wear baseball caps all the time to hide baldness. FWIW, I don't give a hoot if a man's bald, so long as he's a good, kind person with a sense of humor. But if he doesn't want me trying to hide that I'm overweight, he shouldn't hide that he's bald. It has nothing to do with whether a physical quality is inherited or acquired. BTW, studies increasingly show that being obese is more than a lack of willpower; it's a complex mix of diet, exercise, genetics, economics, and environment. Most fat people can give you a detailed rundown of every failed diet and exercise program they've tried. It's not helpful to shame or criticize them for wanting to be accepted as they are until they can get their personal weight issues figured out.
From a 61yo with full red hair:
ever thought about wearing a cap to not get sunburned?
It’s the same for „body shaping“ your lower leg because of medical conditions. It’s just needed!
@@SarahRenz59 agree! Not every woman is overweight due to overeating , lack of willpower. Childbirth, genetics, aging bodies slow metabolism. It’s not excusing, sometimes it’s science, biology, genetics!
I’m always honest…..no-one ever hits on me. They hit on blondes, they hit on much younger women, I’ve stopped bothering. I am very happy very independent etc…..but I still would like ‘the one’ ❤
I hear you Mari. It is possible to meet that man. If you need some guidance, schedule a Complimentary “Find Love After 50 Breakthrough Session" so we can discuss how this can happen for you.
Im not into blondes 😁
Well said, and you hit point. I am 60, average height, average in many respects but I am outgoing. Most of us get over the rejection, just like anyone who does outside sales - it comes with the territory. However, some of the other red flags we will notice and not say anything, but will politely end the date without following up. About two years ago I met a stunningly beautiful woman, probably the most attractive I had met in 30 + years. I was on time for our date, but she had arrived early and started drinking early.... big mistake on her part. She was intoxicated halfway through the dinner. Days after that date, she called and apologized, making an excuse. I decided to give her another chance, and initially she was different. However, as more red flags appeared, I kept backing off. The last time I saw her, she wanted me to spend the night and to have sex. Physically, she was really desirable, and perhaps a 20 year old me would have stayed, but sometimes wisdom comes with age. I don't regret walking away. No matter great that night might have been, I would not want to deal with her for months much less years. We men have learned to be more discerning, and we no longer fall the games or overlook the actions of women as we did in our 20s and 30s. We want real women who are not beset with mental or financial problems.
Wow, love see great men like you watching and commenting on my channel. Thank you for being a stand up and respectful man. Proof that there are still great men out there.
What is your idea of outgoing? Physical activity? Do you believe in a greater power? Spiritual? Drink? Smoke? Cuss? Abuse substances? Relationship with PORN? My Ex was a Porn Addict and yes it IS devastating to a relationship. Do you avoid fast and overprocessed food? Like animals? Enjoy the country or city life? Enjoy going out and how often? What kind of music do you enjoy? Eclectic? Enjoy wildlife/animals/pets? Attend church? Travel? Vacations? We're you raised in a home with both or a single parent? Was church part of your upbringing? Higher education? Children? Grandchildren? Volunteer work? Unfortunately, in today's climate Political leaning? Views on the male and female roles and jobs within the relationship and household? Fighting/disagreement style? Have you ever hit or caused harm to another as an adult? Criminal history? Recovering substance abuser? Take medications for mental health issues? I know this is a lot to ask, but seriously, at our age, these are questions we should be asking before wasting our time on the wrong person. I went out with a man for the 1st time this past year 8.5 years after my divorce. He definitely opened my eyes as to what is important to me and what I am willing to tolerate in my remaining years. Our ideas on family values, physical activity/fit, eating healthy, entertainment, etc, were vastly different as most people's are.
A lot of you girls drop the ball you got divorced and you spoiled your kids beyond belief especially your son's you've made them pussies they're lazy they're rude or disrespectful and you're always bailing them out. No one i know wants to set at the table a share a meal. You girls forgot to be their mother not their friend. I laugh how the gals at the local bar get pissed off when guys dont include them when they buy a round. They still think there vajaja is gold. They never buy a round so why would we send them a drink.
I am pretty much along those lines you mention.
Lower testosterone helps a man make better relationship decisions??
I'm a single woman in my late 50s. I took a break from dating in 2017. My health wasn't good and the guy whom I was dating was too needy and a bit of a mooch, so I broke off with him. I recovered from my illness but am not sure about dating again. I honestly don't think that I can do it again because too many men disrespect women. I can't relax on a date with a man because I worry excessively about whether or not he's going to expect sex. That's the number one thing that I worry about when I go out with a man. I don't want to have sex with a man until I am ready and I've met some really aggressive and disrespectful men in my life so I gave up. 🤷♀️
Honey, we men do not expect sex after a date necessarily, but we, by no means, are ruling it out either. You see, after a date, we men may want to make out or have sex, however, we do not know if you feel the same way. What we do know is that you are not going to initiate sex it even if you wanted it. Therefore, we men have to. If we do not then we are out. If we do and you do not want to then fine but then you accuse us of 'expecting" it. We can not win with you. Already i am turned off by you. Just say, "No thank you, but i would like to see you again." or something like that instead of setting him up to fail in a no-win situation. That, my dear, is disrespectful to men. Initiating sex after a date is not disrespectful. We have to do it because you won't.
@tronmartin1 How about just getting to know somebody without initiating sex or expecting it period. Your comment shows that you already have it on your mind to begin with. The problem with today's women is that they don't seem to have any standards. These women are low hanging fruit ripe for the picking for a dusty man who has nothing to offer them but single motherhood. Am I turned off by you? I'm glad because you are not the type of man I would be interested in anyway. 🤣
@@tronmartin1 well, in my case I must just be myself. I have no expectations when I date. If I enjoy her company I may ask her out again. Dating is made to-get to know someone, their energies, wants and lifestyle. What if you sleep together and have nothing to say afterwards? Do not get caught in those traps. Meet on even terms without expectations and you won’t be disappointed !
@firstlast2034 That's the best way to do it. Honestly, I needed a break after I broke up with the guy who I was seeing. I'm not totally blaming him for the breakup. I was seriously ill in 2017, and I needed to focus on resting and caring for my health. I just didn't have the energy to keep hosting him cooking for him and catering to his needs. He also didn't take me out that often in better times, and when I got sick, he became a burden because I not only had to take care of my health but he wanted me to cook and cater to him. I immediately broke it off because he only added to my stress. In addition, I needed to work on myself and stop over giving and nuturing a man like a mother. That part of it was my fault. I also should've spoken up and said to him "look, I've been buying pizza and hosting every weekend and you never offer to pay for a pizza. I don't mind sharing but it would be nice if you also shared." I was too embarrassed to tell him how I felt. I felt hurt and I felt used.
@@angelamwatts You allowed yourself to be used would be the way I would look at it. Everything is a lesson - we either learn from our mistakes or we repeat them in another form. There is no wrong or right since it is only our lesson to learn and grow!
Thank you. I’m a 70++ woman and have been widowed for over ten years. I’ve been afraid to try dating mostly because I have had body altering surgery due to cancer. Any ideas on how to approach a subject like that?
Thanks for sharing Carolynn. Sorry to hear you have gone through that experience. It is important to note, that there are good quality men out there, and they too have had their share of health experiences. There is definitely a mindset shift that needs to happen. You are more than welcome to schedule a call with me to see if I can help you or at least guide you in the right direction: findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/
Carolynn, I was looking for some mention of disability in this conversation. There’s a world of difference between 50-60. After 60, stuff happens that we never dreamed of. Let’s see what the “fit” set says when it’s their turn. We’ll be like:
“People call say 'beware doll, you're bound to fall'
You thought they were all kidding you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hanging out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud…”
Men only care about one thing me myself could care less about hair or breast. I'm 59 and looking.🍔🍟👅
@@MfilYour words are so inspiring for me to maintain my LTR in distance, thank you! I have found my old friend we had been in love long long ago... We live in different countries, both had been very lonely before our second chance.... I'm 61, he is 68... and sometimes I think, there are lots of single women in his country, I doubt everything. But he is waiting for me, I am for him... Love is a rare thing in the world. One day, I hope, we'll be together, we both want this ❤❤
When men are young (imo) they are pretty much looking for only appearance. As we age (64) we are looking for real connection and true love ,.devotion. I have not read that you lack that so straight away. Honesty and being authentic is beautiful. Respectfully I am sorry for your loss and wish you well.
I'm 67, twice widowed, and dating is something I've decided not to do. The few men my age left with no serious issues are looking for younger or better looking women, plus there are too many scammers out there. Not worth it.
I am finding that a lot of men that are older than me, are looking for a "nurse with a purse". I am financially in a better place than a lot of retirees. However, I am frugal and live on a budget. I will not financially support a boyfriend.
I also spent 30 years as an RN and those days of being someone's servant are over. I want a life partner, not another patient.
Yes, there are lots of scammers out there but there are good men to our age who want women closer to their age or even a bit older. One of my clients married a man 10 years younger than her.
As a 58 yr old single female, I refuse to go online to date. I see all my friends do it and it is a never ending job interview. Endless "candidates" hitting your inbox and they cannot stop looking, even when they supposedly are off the market. Pass on that.
Are you doing anything to meet men in the real world?
Real men don't date online. 😎
I'm 60 and have never in my life been on a date. This is the honest truth. I'm finally thinking about it, but honestly, I feel like a 16 year old who's venturing out for the first time. I haven't the slightest idea what to do.
Just be yourself. Dating is just a conversation and shared experiences repeated over and over again.
Be polite, smile, and treat the lucky lady like she is the most interesting and beautiful woman in the room. Take it slow, be patient. Listen more than talk. And get a new outfit that you feel comfortable in--when we look great, we feel great! You didn't exactly ask for advice but the big sister in me wanted to help! Good luck!
@@thenursepreceptor5376 I really appreciate your insight and advice. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
@@k-mac5511 I've never thought of it quite that way. Thanks for giving me a new perspective!
Thank you for your vulnerability. Based on this, you're going to make a great partner. Much luck to you on your dating journey.
Bingo! Solid advise. Just be yourself. If I asked you out, I already want to get to know you. Also, I'm probably as nervous as you are. If you are yourself I'll respect you for who you are. Your great the way you are, be yourself and be honest.
Thank you for your feedback.
You are right on with your advice. I would add one more: no cell phones, especially on first dates.
Agree!
I always post current pictures. Honest about my age. Never talk about an ex. The most important keep super fit. Always have. I exercised at gyms from the age of 25 . Keeps you looking years younger.
That's amazing. Keep it up!
I have a few, and yes these did actually happen. One woman on our first date, asked me to sit down and close my eyes, we were at a park overlook. Before I knew what was happening, she was rubbing gobs of hair gel into my hair, and then she combed it and pronounced very proudly..."There, now you look like Wernher Von Braun"!!! I shit you not, that REALLY HAPPENED. Then she proceeded to tell me her parents were actual Natzi, both killed in the war. Another women showed up at a restaurant date, hot sweaty and discheveled, like she just got done washing her car....and yes, of course she told me that is exactly where she just came from! She didnt order anything, had no drinks, and she called the waitress for the check, before I was half way into a beer. She literally, got up, and just walked out. And one more asked me right in the middle of our first dinner date..."Whats your feelings about sex"!!! Nothing subtle about this one! And, all of this was after being rejected at least 800 times or so. Yes, I have 100% given up on women.
Don't give up. There are amazing women out there you might be seeing if you have a type you're always looking for. Try venturing out and looking for someone who is not your type and see if that works for you. My clients have had amazing results doing that and are now in great relationships with men they'd have never seen in the past.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach I don't have a type, I am very open minded. Unfortunately women are not the same way. They have actual lists of requirements and if don't meet just one of those requirements, they will tell you right to your face they are settling just to go on a date with you. The last women I dated, told me, "I lowered my standards to go with you"..... I am a degreed engineer, make six figures, am 6 ft tall, drive a nice car, and get my share of looks from the ladies. We dated for 5 years, and she told me I was the most amazing and unique man she ever met. She moved back to Ohio, to cash in on her mothers death and left me flat, without a shred of notice. Giving up isn't the best term, just seeing reality for what it actually is, is more accurate.
Best podcast I've seen in a long time. You are so on point. As a 73 year old man, I see you as a reasonable woman who understands that men are willing to give so much, we just want some recognition and kindness.
Thank you!😇
All of these points are spot on. I am 65 and dating a 73 year old woman (she lied about her age) who is soooo sweet, adorable, always replies to my calls and texts, and we go on long dates and talk endlessly. When I told her on our first date that I thought she was sexy, she blushed profusely (she is, she is a firecracker). Yoga and exercise are really important to her and me. Keep an open mind.
Men want to do things for women, and I agree with that. The men want women to be women, that is, to be properly submissive to them. Proper submissive behavior includes taking our arm on the way to dinner or the theatre, letting us take and put on your coat, kissing you on the forehead, snuggling your head into our chest, and telling us when you need something fixed or moved. It does not mean that men are intellectually superior, want to control or manage your life, or own you in any way. As John Grey noted in "Men are from mars ..." this raises the testosterone in man and estrogen in women.
I am getting to a point where always swipe left on the super-woman profile, never married, fortune 50 executive, fancy cars, traveled everywhere, done everything already. Please excuse my French, but why the F are you here in the first place? In my dating profile I say I am looking for a travel partner in a LTR and once I asked one of these boss-gals "would've the beach trip be more fun if you had someone to hold your hand as the sun set?" .... ... sigh!
Thanks for your feedback, Tom.
I'm a woman and never date men who lie about their age, which is most of them
You sound wonderful. I hope you find a good and honest woman.
Tom, this is so refreshing to read of a man dating an older woman in this age group. I don’t date ( I’m 65 and also a yogi!) because I have a belief that men in myage group go for much younger women - and mostly get them too. Thanks for making this comment on here as it’s lifted my spirits 👍
Oh, and your lady sounds like a catch
As a 60 year old man, I find your advice interesting. I'll add a bit more from a male perspective: My girlfriend is 62. She has kept herself fit through equestrian endeavors and weighs about 108lbs. She doesn't wear form fitting clothes (except her riding pants), and wears elegant if conservative dresses to go out. Being older doesn't mean you can't be fit! While a man does like to fix things, he doesn't need to be driven into an early grave with YOUR projects! Most ambitious men have a house of their own to take care of or improve. (Look at his house if you want to know what kind of man he is!) An older man isn't necessarily looking for intimacy. I'm active in my community and church. I have many female friends in the 50 - 80 age bracket. I can enjoy taking an 80 year old friend to dinner or the opera, and it's the character and personality of the woman that I enjoy! Also, men my age are not looking for a woman to financially support! My GF and I are both financially independent and own our respective homes without any debt. Many of the women I know in the 50 - 80 age bracket are also financially independent, though not all. Enjoy yourself, be truthful, and let your inner qualities shine the brightest!
Love your pearls of wisdom. Thank you for sharing them.
Your words are so rumble. Everything you said seems obvious to me. I cannot imagine being rude on the first date. It sounds crazy. In my opinion, if you get disappointed after seeing the man in person for the first time for one reason or another, at least take the opportunity to learn about a new person that may not be ideal as a romantic partner but can be a nice person to be a friend. ❤
Thank you for your feedback. They may seem obvious to you because you may be in a different point in your life. These videos are for women over 50 who are dating again after not having done so in possibly decades. They need to relearn that again. You don't seem to be the audience for my work, and that is OK. Always appreciate feedback though. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach yes, Lisa. I am 53 years old and most likely I will be looking for a new partner soon. I confess that I am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, and that is the reason I watched and subscribed to your channel. Thank you for your thoughtful advice..
@@silvanacarr319, can I say you sounded a bit rude in your first comment? It wasn't a date, just communication, but I would suspect that you are rude sometimes and really sweet some other times. Look, at the end of the comment you show different emotion and your advice is actually good one.
Maybe you are one of those hot and cold people, I don't know, but authentic for sure and you probably can find a man who likes some brutal honesty. I would really like to know, if Lisa feels the same vibes?
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach, do you feel the same vibes as I did? I just answered to Silva. Don't you think that some people actually like brutal honesty or why such trait still exists in the world? Even if someone avoids being rude in the first date, what if they actually are, sometimes like that?
@@liivikasaarman995 maybe the problem is because I have English as second language. I re-read my note and it may sound rude to some. But I actually.wanted to say that Lisa's advice is humble ( not rumble), and I cannot imagine being rude on the first date because, in my conception, there is not need for that. However, you are right when you say I like the brutal truth. I am a very straight forward person and honest. Or you like me or not, no mid term in my relationships. Thank you!
Hi Lisa, thanks for doing these! I'm 68, hetero male, and have seen a lot of content advising how to please women and better understand their needs in a relationship. I love learning about relationships, but have long wanted more content about what we old men want and need for our intimate relationships. Thanks for doing this, I hope to see more. My laments follow, so brace yourselves 😊: I'm a recovering addict, so alcohol, nose-candy, and tobacco are instant turn-offs, but cannabis is ok. Throw in being a lifelong nudist, and it's easy to guess that dating has been a disaster for me, and my partners. I maintain hope that I can find a companion in spite of all that, thanks to content like this! OK, enough jabbering, my number 1 dating/relationship disappointment: Being cut off in the middle of a sentence, especially when the interruption has nothing to do with what I was trying to say 😑. Thanks again!
Thank you for your kind words and look forward to hearing from you in the comments.
The number one compliant of dating women over 50 is that they are over 50. Unless a man is 65 or older, he should not date 50 year old women. A successful 50 something man should be dating a 27 year pld
@@JohnJohn-sw7nh They are unlikely to have much in common although it's possible they might.
You are not going to find a companion by throwing all that out in the beginning. You do not sound emotionally healthy or ready for an honest and intimate relationship. I have been in behavioral health for over 25 years. I have seen a lot.
@@tronmartin1 in short, eff what he's feeling. Yet women readily complain men won't "open up" to them emotionally..😄
"I like you just the way you are." Billy Joel, 1977.
A great one!
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach I have a question.
I am very (happily) married and I'm 41.
But this showed up in my feed so now I am curious.
Society seems to have disdain for women that have high [ even realistic] standards.
HOWEVER,
As a woman that looks [to some people] as much as 15 years younger than her chronological age.... couldn't I be pickier? I make decent money, do Pure Barre, yoga & lift. Also I have a brand new car and good credit..
Is it "fair" to exercise my privilege?
Is it still rude to ask if say a guy knows what credit is? What his income looks like? Also if he even keeps track of his credit score?
Because how can I be sure this person is good at adulting?
@@lorettaknoelk3475 So you are married and exploring what your market place value is? I smell divorce. Sure, ask a guy what his income and credit is on a first date. You seem to be really eating up the F-minist movement, where you are entitled to the resources. You sound like the epitome of what is wrong in the current dating experience.
Huh? Did he write those lyrics to Christie Brinkley? Of course he likes her just the way she was!
@@cathyallshouse2981 (The post was about the lyrics, not the artist's personal life.)
69, widow, had a 2 year relationhip witn a man, I thought we would be together for the long run. He dumped me a woman 20 years younger than him. I have been alone since that and now like my singleness
❤️
1. Old photos and filters vs what I actually have in front of me.
2. Asking me about my income.
3. Asking me about my car.
4. Not taking care of her appearance (I can see the brand of the pillow on her hair, and I can't imagine if she is wearing a cashmere jacket or she has a lot of cats).
5. Too much masculine energy.
6. Bragging about how much money she makes, or her status, or her ex's status.
7. Asking to go for a dinner instead of a coffee.
8. Getting confused about my name in the first date.
9. Asking me to be your travel mate.
10. Behaving as a teenager princess.
I know I am missing a lot but maybe somebody could add a couple more to the list.
Dating in the North American culture is awful and after 50 is even worse.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. These are all definitely valid points and the list could be quite extensive. And based on my years working with women and talking with men about these specific things, this video encompasses the top 8...it's not a complete list by any means. I appreciate your feedback though.
@@LisaCopelandDatingCoach Oh yes, I totally agree with you.
I just talk from my limited experience, trying to add some humor to a very complex topic.
Thanks for your reply!
#10 is just the summary of 1-9.
Bragging about her ex‘s status tells she has no clue about men even after decades. Men don’t want her because a lot of „high value“ men already had her. That’s a thing in her tribe only.
Sounds like you’re the problem, Mack
it is, don't waste your time, go overseas and skip the hassles here
Such good advice! I have always been a natural not much makeup and casual person I believe if a man likes you he would like for who you are and not fake. I never understood why people filter their pictures online and look totally different in person. Be yourself and the.person that is interested in you will love you for who you are.
This is 100% true.
Anytime someone speaks in generalities, it is bound to be wrong. There is no formula for successful dating besides knowing what you want and where your boundaries are.
Knowing who you want and where your boundaries lie are a huge part of dating but there are other parts too equally important to successfully find love.
But, I think the idea behind this video and "things not to do", is it happens far too often. If she shows up highly misrepresented and appearing deceptive and dishonest, then here you have a video stating that is not a good idea. Most of this seems to be common sense, but the need for a video instructing people indicates that it not so common (the sense part).
Very accurate list. Thank you. It works both ways!
50+ man here. Does anyone else recognize this paradoxical desire: Wanting to intimately share the joy of living solo. A bit of a conundrum, isn't it?
I recognize it, minus the physically intimate part. I have a guy best friend of over a decade. He done went and fell in love with a younger woman, which is great! I'll be at the wedding. She was wondering a bit about our friendship, as our families did before her, but I think she has it sorted now. He and I have different home-life styles that wouldn't work but we still like each other for what we do have in common. I encouraged him to communicate on a deeper level and enabled him to have this new relationship. He called one day to tell me that and to thank me. I've met her and her two preteen kids. If they're happy, I'm happy!!
The friendship was great. We always had a ready plus-one, someone to pick us up when cars needed serviced, a hiking buddy, dinner friend, person for advice, drinking buddy, movie or activity partner, etc. It was nice and we're still friends, albeit more distantly. More recently, an old male classmate and friend of mine got back in touch. We spent a day together doing fun stuff. As long as he doesn't go "romantic" on me, we're good. (I'm honest with him on where I stand.) Luckily, he doesn't live close by. I'm being cautious; from his history, he seems to "fall in love" easily. Also, he wouldn't know what paradoxical or conundrum mean....
I'm not sure in what context you're using the word "intimately," but maybe could guess since you're male? In my world, to ever get to "that," one would have to pass the brain test and then the heart test before any chance of "that" (i.e., must take the time to pique interest and soften heart to kindle desire). Older and wiser.
I'm sure there are women out there who would be amenable to your thoughts. Make perfect sense to me!! (Just beware the gold diggers and scammers; they abound.)
I feel the same way. I'm very independent and free-spirited. I'm a contradiction of sorts, because as much as I don't like to be tied down, I value connection, open, honest communication and I need stability and consistency in a partner.
❤️
I am 73, a former model, and I am in reasonably good physical shape due to wanting to stay healthy and independent. No botox, etcetera; my wrinkles are a life well lived. But how I look in photos these days - it's always a bit of a shock! I find most men in my age bracket look sloppy and unhealthy. The ones who are reasonably fit and attractive want to date someone 30 years younger. Fortunately, I love my single life and so deciding not to date wasn't difficult. In fact, it has been rather freeing!
My ex wife said, “I want you, I don’t need you.” As a man, that was a terrible thing to say to me, and if I was dating a woman that said that, I would tell her, “Bye.” If I’m not needed, why even be in a relationship.
Yes I get it Dustin. Men want to feel needed. As women, many have learned to do everything on their own out of necessity. Doing my part to teach the ladies.
I once said to a man that I don't know what I would do without him. It just came out of the blue and I couldn't take it back because it made me sounds needy. I was so embarrassed and feel humiliated at the moment, but his eyes was locked into mine as if he was about to cry. To be fair, he was helping me with handy work around my house so maybe I was so grateful and feel overwhelmed.
@@chanthana7694 when you tell a man that, in my opinion, is the most respectful thing a woman can say. A man will sacrifice his life for a woman who gives him respect. I wouldn’t feel embarrassed at all. He probably became emotional because he had never heard a woman say that to him.
@@dustinquinton I'm glad to hear that it doesn't sounds helpless and needy. I do everything my self until I can't, don't like to rely on others.
@@chanthana7694 I would not take that as being needy at all. On the contrary. I would take it as being vulnerable, which is good. Men and women should be vulnerable with each other in relationships. I feel that was a big issue with my ex wife. I was vulnerable, but she was not. Of course, men and women can survive on their own, but we need each other in relationships. Sometimes it is ok to put one’s pride aside and ask for help.
OMG, I am SO sick of thinking about what men want. So nice to be happily single
You go for it!!!
Yep...I think we're through with all that.
Thanks for not wasting my time. Any woman I date for relationship possibilities must be under age 25 and be in excellent physical and emotional health. All the rest are for entertainment and amusement only.
That's THE problem with most women today- you don't CARE what men actually want, it's nearly always all about what YOU want. If you read female dating profiles, they almost invariably consist of long lists of criteria and demands that any potential partner must fulfil. Very rarely do women divulge what, if anything they are going to bring into a man's life to enhance it. Most seem to think being female alone is all that is required. It's NOT men who have unreasonable demands, they can be summed up by the 3 F's= Fit, Friendly & Feminine. It's that simple.
No need to think. They want a young hot woman who is loving and supportive.
As a man I can say that there is a fine line between feeling needed and feeling taken advantage of.
Thanks for sharing
I'll be 60 at the end of the month. I have no problem attracting men of all ages. That's not the problem. Edit: I'm an independent woman because I've had to be. Men can not be relied upon. From now on, I'm focused on the man that I'm on a date with, not worried about if he likes me or not. Do I like him? What is he doing that I don't like?
Yes, yes! Don't twist yourself into a pretzel trying to please anyone. That's the beauty of aging, I don't give a rip what others think about my looks. Also, I am thin thanks to celiac and lactose intolerance. I'm active and have always eaten healthy. Well, a lot of women who are overweight look at me with scorn. Believe me, going gluten-free (celiac is an autoimmune disease like lupus) is not a picnic.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's truly empowering to focus on what you want and deserve in a relationship💪💖
@@LisaGemini I'm plus sized and proud. Lol. I'm not everyone's cup of tea... but that's ok. I know what I like too... and I prefer big guys.
Thanks for the video. Recently it seems the first thing women say is "I don't need a man." I'm done right there.
A lot of men have told me that is a big turn off. I think how it's said and heard is a disconnect of interpretation. Women feel weak if they feel they need a man but they want one. And men want to make a woman's life easier and that makes them feel needed. Resonate?
I really appreciate this video! I’m in my early 60’s and recently realized why I’m alone. And as you mentioned, I’ve always been an independent woman. That’s it. It’s been many years since I’ve tried dating, but I would like to find a man to enjoy life with since I have discovered my “Turn off” I’m much softer now, but today’s dating is sooo scary. I’m going to put it as “Evil lurks” After my last attempt, 4 years ago I stopped looking. Your advice is absolutely correct for those who are still looking 💕
Don't give up! I promise there are still great men out there to date. Yes, we have to have some precautions, as has always been the case. If you need some guidance, schedule a Complimentary “Find Love After 50 Breakthrough Session" so we can discuss how this can happen for you. findaqualityman.com/talktolisa/
Wait. What? Being independent is a 'turn off"? You mean the fact that we are expected to pay 50% of everything despite earning less, work a full-time job, manage budgets and our own retirement funds.....but we're NOT supposed to be independent because it's a 'turn off"? Being independent means needing to be 'softer"? I'm very glad I have always been independent as my husband for 23 years often worked away from home, leaving everything to me to do. My independence also allowed me to act on my boundaries and standards and to walk away and buy my own home and be completely self supporting when his behaviour became unacceptable. We do not have to lose our ability to be independent when in a relationship. During the course of a healthy relationship you will each get an opportunity to be in the 'lead' position from time to time. Balance and respect......not deference.
@@l.5832 She doesn't say it, but maybe it's like Lisa said that you can come across like you don't need a man because you are independent and can do everything by yourself. Then why are you dating I would ask?
@@sylviacarlson3561 For companionship? To enjoy travel? For intellectual discussion? Dining out? Shared interests? Raising a family? Love????
Sweetheart take one of your Prozac pills with your boxed wine feed your cat, and call your therapist. Nevermind, therapist never hold women accountable, they tell them all their problems are caused by the Patriarchy not their selfish feminist choices. Well at least do the patriarchy a favor and never date a man again... Disaster await s him if you do date him. Also, the Pay Gap is a myth that has been disproved by several leading economists. Women earn less because they avoid STEM jobs and women refuse to take dangerous outdoor jobs. Read Erin Pizzey.
As a long, tall older black man, 62, I appreciate a fat woman. Love doesn't discriminate with race, size. Kindness, honesty and patience are love!❤
I love your openness. Bless you! I hope you found a woman who sees you as a treasure!
@@kevinharrison3265 Still doing Gods work. Free speech isn’t valued here though. Typical of womens spaces and disregarding opposing views. Only group think allowed.
Women in this age group seem to be either angry or trying to heal from bad relationships or choices. Men in thier 50s are not looking for that kind of drama. Get help and heal before you start a relationship 🙏 God bless 🙏
Love that feedback, Russell! And it goes the same for many age in this age group.
Have had similar experience with a couple guys in this age range....seems it's an equal opportunity affliction. I refuse to play the app game, scanning a menu of cheap fare at a roadside greasy spoon expecting to find a gourmet meal. Prefer the old-fashioned strike up a conversation (or respond to a nice person who starts to chat with me) and see where it goes or doesn't.
Lol really like men aren't totally screwed up!
@michelles2299 I agree that most men in that age group have major issues also. I'm single and in my early 50s. Most of the people in my age group have big mental health issues. They have been treated poorly and lied to by spouses. Many have chemical dependency and trust issues. The dating field is full of landmines. This has left the decent people lost in the forest trying to find each other.
@@russk1971I was married for 30 years, widowed, and went on dating apps after healing for a few years. I was shocked at the level of alcohol abuse and mental health issues amongst people online! If I meet someone in the wild, fine, but the apps have the low lying fruit.
As a man(60yo), I can't stress enough how pleasantly surprised and wonderfully refreshing it would be to hear my 1st date sit down, and immediately after ordering drinks say-- I know your time is as valuable to you as mine is to me .
I need to be honest, I'm here because you caught my interest, and I want to learn more about you. My goal is to find a mate, and if you're ok with it, could we start by exchanging basic information about each other? That's my dream opener by a 1st date.😊
Thanks for sharing!
I did just that and they guy only wasted my time for years stringing me along...! 😮 And same story with other dudes!
I am turning 56 this month, and just found your channel. Thank you for your content. Excellent
Welcome!
good communication is important to me and it’s amazing how many men have absolutely no interest in hearing what I am saying and basically their brain is not able to take in the reality of what I’m communicating and that is a real turn off
I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Do they talk at all in a back and forth conversation?
If men have no interest in what you are saying,try saying something different than what your saying. Or maybe listen more. If this seems to be a pattern perhaps your the problem
Why all the men in these comments bashing women?
Right?! It's no wonder when women find themselves back on the dating scene after 50 they become defensive and bitter when what they encounter is this type of man leaving these types of comments.
To be fair. Men seldom are allowed to say what they think. Women immediately scold them. Better to hear what they have to say for once. I'm truly interested in hearing it.
Because women are boring...
I completely understand not posting photo shopped pictures of yourself and not misrepresenting yourself. At the same time, it seems that it would be really difficult to love yourself as you are when men are that concerned about your body type. 😕
You can 100% love yourself as you are regardless of what men think or are concerened with. And when women love and accept themselves fully, their vibration attracts a quality man who also loves and accepts them.
I’m a 63yr old Aussie mum who has absolutely zero interest in having another man in my life. I have my boys, my doggies , a few good friends and my wonderful family. Life is stress free, and I am still friends with my lovely ex husband. It was our stillborn daughter’s 27th birthday yesterday and he always rings me on that day. My boys and I went out to the cemetery and my ex lives in another state and was upset that he couldn’t come so asked for photos, which I sent him. I am just not good at being a wife or girlfriend but I am suited to being a mum, which is the best thing ever.
❤️
These are great observations. You certainly can't change men. If you don't like what you see, move on. You've absolutely right about that.
Thank you!
I'm 72 and been on a dating site for 2 weeks. I've gone through a couple of these advice videos on you tube. This is the best so far, with reasonable and practical advice. Thanks. BTW, you wouldn't happen to be single, would you?
Thank you for your feedback. Much luck with dating. No I'm not single!
Lisa, you definitely know us guys!! All 8 turn offs hit home. A while back I met a nice looking lady on Match, her photos showed her in the gym as thin as a model...really nice looking for a 65 year old gal, diffidently a 7+ on the Richter scale. So, we arranged to meet and when she exited her car I saw a woman with maybe 25 pounds more on her frame than her photos showed on Match...plus she smoked and in her profile she said she didn't ... Lisa, like you said, I was really concerned that if she would misrepresent herself this way, could she be trusted?!! Later that day, I texted her and wished her a goodbye - but I really did want to see her again.
A different time and woman who told me her X husband had cheated on her with a girlfriend - not cool. Later in our first date, she told me I reminded her of her cheating spouse....I was speechless. Worried she was a drama queen, I also said adios to someone I would have been interested in. /eddy
Chances that she just projected her cheating behavior to her ex are high. Maybe you have just been a potential AP.
not surprised, many women out there are delusional and frauds
Last woman I dated kept giving me unsolicited life advice. It's like she was clueless as to how disrespectful men find that to be. A guy would never dream of telling a new friend, "Hey, you know you should maybe spend some time getting into a deeper level of self reflection and awareness. I can just feel certain insecurities coming through."
Or...
"A little friendly advice, you need to just let your brother be is own man and not be so concerned about him."
Side note.. my little brother is 100% disabled and completely dependent on his siblings.
The relationship went no where. The final straw was how she kept on saying, over and over again, "I don't need a man for anything. I can take care of myself. I hate when guys want to take care of me." Then what the hell was she doing looking for a man?
Yikes! Get me out of here!
And yet here is the punch line: when I broke contact, she acted butt hurt and pestered me for quite some time. I just wanted her to go away.
Sorry you had this experience. Much luck on your search for the right woman for you. She is out there and looking for you too!
I listened out of curiosity, and you hit the proverbial nail on the head. I am 55 and the last time that I was on a date, I was 39 years old. I had so many bad experiences that I no longer have any interest in dating or relationships.
❤️
Excellent tips for ladies from a 73-year-old male. I'm going to search for your top 8 turn-offs for women, as I'm sure I can use the tips. Count me as a new subscriber. Thanks, and well done!
Thank you!
I'm separated and going through the whole divorce thing. I agree with everything you said, but point 1 is what I look for now. Not just clothing though. I want to see the real person without all the prep. Too know who they are and if I can't see that I can't trust her fully. I saw a friend for the first time without any of her mask on and was really impressed even though she is always well presented. Just how I view it.
Thanks for your feedback Tom. Please share this video with your single lady friends over 50, as that is who these videos are made for. You already know all this stuff, lol!
It is very unattractive for married men to be on the prowl looking for women to basically have affairs with. SMH
I wish you well sir......
No, it’s not “OK” to “hook up.” It’s immoral. And it’s absolutely fine to sit in judgment of things that need to be rightfully judged. The recreational sex culture that we find ourselves in has been horrifically damaging to society, and on an individual level. You don’t have to say it’s OK just so that you can come off as some kind of cool grandma or something. Secondly, as a man in his early 60s, I can tell you that the “strong independent woman” trope is a cope. It’s BS and a major turn-off.
Thank you for your feedback. I don't say anything to try to be cool. I'm speaking my own thoughts from the research I've done and working with many women over years. If this is not your cup of tea, I am perfectly OK with it. There are many other people on TH-cam where you might find videos more suited for you.
So I watched/listened to all of this and succeeded in reconfirming that I really don't want to be bothered with all of this. I'm so glad I'm happy to be living by myself and enjoying my retirement. Hah!
It's great to hear that you've found contentment in your own company and retirement!
Cat Lady? 😮
Nicely done. I would agree with these suggestions. Especially about drinking heavily. At this stage of our lives, we are all looking for red flags and drug/alcohol dependency is a problem none of us want to deal with in a new relationship.
❤️
Awesome video thanks, great advice for men and women.
I’m 46, so not quit 50. Lol. However, I have different reservations for posting full body pictures, or too many pictures in general. I have been very blessed with stereotypical attractive features. I’m 5’5 110lbs, size 0, 34DDD, 24 inch waist, long blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips, tan skin. Since middle school guys have only cared about me physically. I thought, as I grow up men would look deeper, they don’t. I can be talking about. Somethings so important to me that I’m very passionate about. And they will reply something like, you’re so hot. Umm ok. I know women think that life would be easier if they had certain features. Trust me, it’s not. No one cares at all about your thoughts or feelings. Sure the call you for a second date. But I won’t remember anything talked about. It’s like they just want to shell and don’t care about the insides. I would love for a guy to truly want to get to know me. To fall in love with my soul and my spirit.
Unfortunately, this is true most of the time. Which is why women start becoming bitter. And then they wonder why.
😂😂
Women and men too. If your separated. Clean up your mess first because you will drag a new relationship into the drama.
100% agree!
Hello Lisa! I just happened to see your podcast while scrolling through my TH-cam channels .
I am so glad I found you. What great advice for everyone, whether you’re looking to date again or just curious for perhaps down the road dating.
I am so glad you offered mens point of views ESPECIALLY!! Being a woman, I love to know what men are really saying and thinking about on their first date.
I find it very interesting that men and women lie about their age, weight, appearance, etc when eventually you’re going to meet that individual that you’re interested in.
I’ve always thought too, is that , if you lie about those things, what else did you lie about? I know we all have our insecurities and it’s very difficult to be vulnerable AND facing those fears of rejection isn’t easy .
Why is it so hard for us to accept that the only person may not like us WHEN we ourselves don’t always like THAT other person ourselves? Why is it ok to REJECT? BUT NOT TO BE REJECTED?
Isn’t it so funny!! Dating AT ANY AGE is FULL OF sometimes heartbreaking, emotional, embarrassing, funny, humiliating , and YET GREAT LEARNING EXPERIENCES, IF we actually focus on the “learning part”!!! ????
I look forward to watching more of your work on this subject.
Thank you for sharing all of this information with us! 👍👏🙏💪
A good friend met the love of her life on Eharmony. She is over the moon and is having so much fun with him. I am so happy for her but lack the cojones to put myself "out there". I haven't even been on a coffee date in about 4 years, after I broke up with an abusive partner. I worry that men will see my photo and find me unattractive. Also, I have chronic leukemia. I'm not sure how or when to disclose this. If I include on a profile, no one will contact me. On the other hand, not disclosing having a potentially life-ending disease seems dishonest and unethical. It doesn't outwardly affect me (I don't look like someone with cancer, whatever that is!), but it's slowly catching up. At this point, I would enjoy having adventures with someone other than my girlfriends (though I love them dearly), and have someone to look forward to seeing when I'm not working.
@@feliciasampson8032 It is best not to put anything on your profile that makes you a target for abusers or scammers. Maybe in your first private message to each guy, let him know that there is a health issue to reveal. If he disappears, then he wasn't a good match. Make your profile look happy and positive (but 100% honest). Negativity is the number 1 turn-off for the good guys :)
Very helpful; grounded, sensible advice not so easy to come by.
❤️